THE WORLD'S GREATEST DELIBERATIVE BODY  10:53 pm June 12, 2012

It’s Farm Bill Time, And All Amendments Are Perfectly Reasonable & Germane

by Jim Newell

Guy's got it madeIt’s farm bill time in the Senate, with the draft bill out of committee, debate open, and hundreds of amendments pouring in, all lined up just in time beat the June 30 deadline! The way they used to resolve all of these competing amendments and regional interests and endless lobbyist demands in the end was pretty simple — pay everyone off, and then pay them off again. But this time it’s an election year, the Senate is broken beyond repair, Rand Paul exists, and everyone thinks a few perfunctory budget cuts will make the Senate look like a responsible custodian of the nation’s well-being. What we’re getting around to is that there may be some grandstanding — yes, we went there — in the World’s Greatest Deliberative Body over the next couple of weeks. Let’s check out but a smattering of the ~200 amendments that are very important to American agriculture and have a reasonable chance of passing instead of just wasting everyone’s time!

On the one hand, you have a bipartisan group of senators from farm states who understand how vital this bill is to them and would prefer to put the usual dumb games aside and cap voting to a reasonable number of amendments, to prevent the whole thing from either failing or taking the “10 years worth of temporary extensions that no one likes” option that our upper chamber has come to master. On the other hand, you have senators who see what we might call “opportunities.”

  • John McCain’s farm bill amendment “would require the administration to report by August on the full effects of the $500 billion in automatic defense cuts slated to take effect starting next year.”
  • Jim DeMint’s farm bill amendment “would repeal the Dodd-Frank financial reform law.”
  • Tom Coburn’s farm bill amendment says that “the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Market Access Program, heavily used by the San Francisco-based Wine Institute and other California farm organizations promoting overseas sales, couldn’t pay for ‘wine tastings’ or ‘reality TV shows.’”
  • Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment “would cut off aid to Pakistan.”
  • Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment “keeps the Department of Agriculture from carrying firearms in rural areas.”
  • Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment “repeals the federal food stamp program” and replaces it with small block grants to the states, which the states can then replace with large tax cuts.

There is also the huge question of EPA flyovers that monitor the growth of toxic manure pools that violate environmental regulations and kill everyone death drones taking naughty pix of the hardworkin’ family farmer and his small children while they’re naked. Rand Paul is said to be concerned.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 148 comments }

BathroomGoblin June 12, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Keep yer hands of mah corn suggahs!

RedneckMuslin June 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

The caption to the Bush Photo:
"Hey! This banana tastes funny"!

chascates June 12, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Farm bills never help farmers, only corporations who own farms.

Buckminster June 12, 2012 at 11:08 pm

But of course, this is okay, because corporations are people, my friend.

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

How many farms does Monsanto own?

Edit: Sorry, that was kinda snarky, but I agree that farm bills only help the corporations…

Steverino247 June 13, 2012 at 12:00 am

All of them, Katie.

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Don't ever apologize for snarking on a site that demands snarking. lol

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 8:58 am

Somewhere on the Internets, because like everything is on the Internets now, is a 'manual' I read a decade ago which instructed small farmers on how to incorporate their family farm and take the greatest advantage of state, local and federal assistance programs. I threw it away, but I got it from a NJ Congressman's office who is notorious for calls to end welfare for 'people who don't want to work' and is tying up another endorsement from the Tea Party for this year's election.

Come here a minute June 12, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Any chance of slipping in an amendment repealing BushTaxCutsForTheRich?

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 8:28 am

Actually, I'm kinda surprised the GOP didn't slip in an amendment making them permanent.

Also, making African Americans 3/5 of a person for purposes of representation.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 8:55 am

I'm glad to see all this hasn't ruined your sense of humor.

Wile E. Quixote June 12, 2012 at 11:03 pm

I'd like to see some Democratic senators play the same game. Barbara Boxer could offer up an amendment to eliminate any farm subsidies that are paid to states that are not net contributors to the federal budget. Patty Murray could offer up an amendment prohibiting the federal government from spending any money on hurricane aid for South Carolina. Dianne Feinstein could offer up an amendment requiring all Kentucky farmers to submit to drug testing since everyone in Kentucky is either on meth or oxycontin, Harry Reid could offer up an amendment prohibiting any federal money from being spent for tornado relief in Oklahoma since tornadoes are God's way of punishing the wicked, etc, etc, etc.

fuflans June 13, 2012 at 12:18 am

all fetuses come with a lifetime supply of food stamps.

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 8:29 am

But remember: for the GOP life begins at conception and ends at birth.

scvirginia June 13, 2012 at 12:45 am

If these guys are to be believed, the CA legislators are the least likely to rock the boat when it comes to farm subsidies: http://farm.ewg.org/

PS: TX is #1 & IA is #2…

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:14 am

No federal disaster relief dollars for Louisiana for any damage attributed to volcanic eruptions.

Estproph June 13, 2012 at 8:48 am

Turnabout is never fair play. IOKIYAR.

Buckminster June 12, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I like how all Rand Paul's concern about drones revolves around his inability to tell cardboard and plastic from aluminum.

scvirginia June 13, 2012 at 12:30 am

Aluminum's the stuff you make foil hats out of…

Chichikovovich June 12, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment “keeps the Department of Agriculture from carrying firearms in rural areas.”

What has Rand Paul got against the Second Amendment?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 12, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I do think anyone expects rational and consistent policy positions from the mini-Paul.

BerkeleyBear June 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Especially since they just relaxed the rules to let every tom dick and randy carry guns in forests and other rural areas that the USDA might also be working around.

Chichikovovich June 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

Yep. That's the conservative dream – everyone in society armed to the teeth except the legitimate authorities.

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I know, right? That is an amazing level of hypocrisy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:32 am

But think about all the USDA massacre over the past few years.

imissopus June 13, 2012 at 1:10 am

Because Obama could reorganize the federal government to put FEMA under the Department of Agriculture, and everyone knows FEMA has several divisions of Army soldiers at the ready to send jackbooted federal thugs into rural areas to seize land and deport hard-working American farmers to death camps. Duh, has someone not been decoding the messages in the Sunday NYT crossword puzzle like the rest of the patriots?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:16 am

Sunday NYT crossword? Those idiots? Maybe the Junior Jumble or the Word Search.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 8:58 am

My question is why is it still OK for the jack-booted USDA thugs to still brandish weapons in urban areas.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Rand Paul's bill doesn't go far enough. It's the Department of Agriculture's Children of the Corn Program that's causing most of the havoc in the fields.

And don't get me started on the Dept. of the Interior's alien crop circle BS.

It's Roswell all over again, my friends! Wake up and smell the kernels!

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Ron Paul's bill doesn't go far enough. It's the Department of Agriculture's Children of the Corn Program that's causing most of the havoc in the field

Bwahahahaha!!!

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:55 am

Who's Ron Paul?

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 6:19 am

That miserable little coat-hanger of a congressman in the Texas congressional delegation.

But, if you're going to ask me how Rand got changed to Ron in my quoting of you, you're guess is as good as mine, because all I remember doing is copying and pasting your words. lol

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Oh, THAT Ron Paul! (I changed it from Ron to Rand after noticing the typo and right before you replied.)

HogeyeGrex June 13, 2012 at 3:44 am

Smell the Colonel's what?

HempDogbane June 12, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Genuine farmer joke ! "Why do they only bury dead farmers two feet deep?" "So they can still get their hand out."

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 11:17 pm

I heard that once from a farmy brat.

anniegetyerfun June 13, 2012 at 8:31 am

My Canadian farming relatives are fond of this joke. It's not quite the same when they pronounce it "hand oat" though.

UW8316154 June 12, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Meanwhile (back at the ranch), the Corn Lobby continues to get subsidies that poison America with high-fructose corn syrup.

AutomaticPilot June 13, 2012 at 9:20 am

Did you ever see the documentary King Corn? Good stuff.

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

They also want the OK to plant dioxin resistant corn crops so they can use Agent Orange laced herbicides to do a spray it once, kills it for years, weed eradication program.

Welcome to the club to all you who did not have to serve in Vietnam? What club? The cloranacne, liver cancer, early onset ischemic heart disease, non-insulin responsive type two diabetes and prostate cancer club.

Urban_Achiever June 13, 2012 at 11:27 am

Isn't the "Right to Corn Syrup" already in the Bill of Rights?

OneYieldRegular June 12, 2012 at 11:16 pm

What, no bill to allow all commercial foodstuffs to consist of 50% melamine?

anniegetyerfun June 13, 2012 at 8:32 am

Must have passed last year.

GuanoFaucet June 12, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Someone should submit an amendment barring Rand Paul from proposing any more fucking amendments.

imissopus June 13, 2012 at 1:11 am

Someone should submit an amendment barring Rand Paul any of these jackasses from proposing any more fucking amendments.

Fixed.

Jukesgrrl June 12, 2012 at 11:18 pm

OT: In Tucson, tea bag candidate Jesse Kelly currently leads Democrat Ron Barber (endorsed by Gabby Giffords) for Giffords' seat. This isn't a primary. It's to send a rep to Congress to replace Giffords immediately.

Kelly has run an absurd campaign, claiming to be the candidate who will "save Social Security" when he has said often (and on tape) that he thinks Social Security must be ended. His workers have removed all but two Barber signs from the streets in my suburb. My brother's house and car were egged in the middle of the night the other day. He's the only house in his development egged and the only one with a Barber sign in the yard. Coincidence?

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

From what I can tell from the intertubes, Barber leads Kelly by a comfortable margin. Don't worry my friend, be scrappy!

Blueb4sunrise June 12, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Hey you Asbury Park Hooligan………
I got.
11% of Precincts

Ron Barber81,381 53%
Jesse Kelly68,093 44%

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:48 am

Latest results (9:30p PDT)

Barber: 52.57%94,390
Kelly: 44.74%80,329

With a Green taking 2.38%

43.35% of the vote in.

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 11:35 pm

You have my deepest sympathies, Jukesgrrl- I feel your pain. Here in SC, we had primaries, but many were uncontested since the candidates didn't read up on the new rules & so were ineligible to appear on the ballot per the SC Supremes. Somehow Strom Thurmond's son Paul was allowed to run despite being just 1 of 3 GOP candidates who didn't file properly?

Jukesgrrl June 12, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Yeah, I was paying attention to that.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 11:47 pm

Strom Thurmond's grandson? Jesus Hillbilly Christ, will those genes never go away?

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 11:53 pm

No, it's his son. Just looks like he should be his grandson. Actually, his wife almost looked like his granddaughter.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:06 am

Hah! I read a book several years ago, the title of which unfortunately escapes me, about how Strom's pappy shot and killed a man on the street because he'd heard through the grapevine that the guy had been making googly eyes at Mrs. Thurmond, and how at the ensuing trial he was found not guilty. The theme of the book was how such American Scotch-Irish morality in the south fucked up many generations, both black and white.

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 12:32 am

Another Thurmond?Oh, joy.As usual, special rules for special people.And they say we don't have royalty.

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 12:00 am

Ummm, what numbers have you been looking at? Barber's been running ahead from the very first vote dump, I believe.

fuflans June 13, 2012 at 12:20 am

well good. i don't think june is going to be a very good month in general so this would be nice.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 12:42 am

I'm trying to find the latest and can't find anything.

This is the best I can find:

Democrat Ron Barber, who was leading Republican Jesse Kelly 53 to 44% with 11% of precincts reporting at 11:30 p.m. ET

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 12:50 am

BTW, NBC called the race quite a while ago.

This is not to mention the only real poll done of the race a few days ago showing Barber crushing Kelly, so I wasn't really fretting over this race like I had been.

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 1:56 am

Just got home a little while ago and saw the good news:

http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics

The photo of him and Gabby makes me want to cry tears of joy.

Also, OT: what happened to your avatar?

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 12:29 am

Gabby looks great.Obviously understands everything, is very animated and emotional.Still not talking though except for repeating phrases spoken by others and VERY scripted, obviously rehearsed snippets.A politician who doesn't speak.That could be a trend I could get behind.

StarsUponThars June 12, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Which senator's farm bill amendment stops the spending of billions of taxpayer dollars for ethanol subsidies to Monsanto? Yeah, that's what I thought.

fartknocker June 12, 2012 at 11:37 pm

The C2H6O subsidy equals about $1.00/gallon. This is why we can't have nice things because we're pissing away a $1.00/gallon tax break for Archer Daniels Midland. And the bigger turd is these folks also want exemptions when it's used as a automotive fuel from the gasoline tax. Goat fuckers.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 12, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Rep Pete King wanted an amendment allowing proactive ground-standing against anyone with "an arab-y sounding name" and another commending the IRA for "outstanding services to the semtex industry"

CountryClubJihadi June 12, 2012 at 11:35 pm

More Frankenfoods, please!

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Grandstanding & Groundstanding. Won't these wankers just fucking SIT DOWN?

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Re the photo: Jeez, Dubya, it's just a corn cob. It's not like you're biting into a crowbar, or like those nights when your dad said, "Tell mama about this and I'll take her pearls away."

Oblios_Cap June 13, 2012 at 8:39 am

He must really miss Jeff Gannon.

Jukesgrrl June 12, 2012 at 11:46 pm

OT: Yes, Barber has pulled ahead, but less than a quarter of the votes are in. I have to go out for awhile but I'll report again when I return. Maybe it will be over by then. The Dems here were reasonably confident. Said they even had some volunteers who were Rep-leaning independents.

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 11:56 pm

When I checked the Tucson newspaper web site, it looked like Barber had it sewn up. Hope that's true!

Blueb4sunrise June 13, 2012 at 12:23 am

They smaller populated counties [but no less wonderful...... smooooochies we LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU] are in so it's all Pima now.

(14% of prec.)

Ron Barber71,781 54%
Jesse Kelly57,091 43%

Overall…..
Ron Barber86,095 53%
Jesse Kelly73,739 45%

So Jukes is right that it ain't over, don't wanna get cocky.

scvirginia June 13, 2012 at 12:40 am

Perhaps my newz source isn't reliable, but I like what they're sayin': http://bit.ly/M0xbZn

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 12:43 am

Lookin' good.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:47 am

Latest results (9:30p PDT)

Barber: 52.57%94,390
Kelly: 44.74%80,329

With a Green taking 2.38%

43.35% of the vote in.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:58 am

Wonder if that "Green" is one of those phony-baloney GOP shills, like the ones the AZ GOP ran a year ago to siphon off naive lib voters who didn't do any research before voting.

Blueb4sunrise June 13, 2012 at 12:55 am

""Kelly conceded about 9:30 p.m. "This stinks,” he told a reporter. Kelly thanked Jesus, his family and volunteers. He then said he was headed home to go to bed.""

http://azstarnet.com/news/local/govt-and-politics

Okay. Now we get cocky.
Fuck You Fucking Evil Lying Loser Fuck!!!
Salud!!!!!!!!

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 1:01 am

Salud!!!!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 1:24 am

Woohoo!

Man, look at that twat. He looks like some small-town thug in court for assault and battery or some alcohol-fuelled bro bullshit.

AutomaticPilot June 13, 2012 at 9:28 am

I think I saw him on Jerry Springer once.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:57 am

Insert Nelson Muntz "HA-ha" here.

SudsMcKenzie June 13, 2012 at 4:45 am

As a Wisconsinite who got skull fucked last week, this Really makes me happy.

Jukesgrrl June 14, 2012 at 12:24 am

I've been thinking about you.I sent $ to Barrett, made my mother do it, too.We feel really bad for WI.I'm still holding out for an indictment.Best, J.

Ryy June 12, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Rand is going to fuck the face off this bill!

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Debbie, my senator, is doing god's work having to deal with these bastards on this farm bill.

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 12:18 am

I never knew Rand Paul had such deep commitment to agricultural issues. He is truly the farmer's friend.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 9:03 am

He is truly the farmer's friend.

Dynamite?

AddHomonym June 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

Is that anything like plumber's friend, i.e., a tool?

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

By "farmer's friend," I meant "big truckload of manure."

fuflans June 13, 2012 at 12:22 am

there have been entirely too many pictures of the house of prescott bush on the wonkette interwebs today.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:39 am

They're on the comeback trail!!

badgitator June 13, 2012 at 12:25 am

The important unanswered question here is when will pot be legalized so that the government can start paying me to not grow marijuana?

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2012 at 12:26 am

Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment “repeals the federal food stamp program” and replaces it with small block grants to the states, which the states can then replace with large tax cuts.

Now wait a minute — how the hell do you replace block grants with tax cuts? That's like paying for a car by burning money. But then the premise is that Rand Paul understands math, which clearly is a leap.

swordfis June 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

But aren't food stamp recipients the evil moochers who don't pay taxes? So how can the state cut their taxes?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:27 am

Where is the amendment to require women to register their vagina and uterus so that only their lawfully married husband can cultivate his seed?

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:35 am

The Jesse Helms Memorial Anti-Twat Bill is presently making it's way through the House, and the National Review says it has teeth.

Or maybe I'm thinking of a grade Z 1970's horror flick.

fuflans June 13, 2012 at 12:27 am

also: why can't i see most of your avatars today???

i blame mr. fuflans' mac.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 12:45 am

Nah, it's happening to everyone, I think.

Some I see (e.g. the fine attorney Mr Hutz just above you), but most are blank. It's just intensedebate being a bit shite, I reckon.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:54 am

Interestingly enough, I can't see yours or fuflans. No real rhyme or reason, other than it seems that most of the ones I can see (but not all), have been peed on less than 100 times.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 1:01 am

Yeah, me neither. At least it's consistent across different people, which makes me think intensedebate.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 13, 2012 at 12:49 am

Yeah, I'm only getting about 1/2 the avatars. And they have seemed funky for a few days now.

Oblios_Cap June 13, 2012 at 8:37 am

I think they want us to use Gravatars; it appears that's the default mode in our profiles.

mavenmaven June 13, 2012 at 12:56 am

Less volcano research!

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 1:07 am

Plate tectonics is a UN scheme to sap our vital minerals.

glamourdammerung June 13, 2012 at 1:09 am

I am fine with the farm bill failing as I am tired of paying for "red state" welfare queens, especially the corporate variety (and particularly the ones in Kentucky). The government has no place picking winners and losers, right?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 1:13 am

"rural profit centers"

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 1:30 am

This reply to your reply has been deleted by the user.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 13, 2012 at 4:23 am

Now why was that deleted? Huh.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Because you replied right before I deleted my comment for being kinda boring.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 15, 2012 at 5:21 am

Aha, sneak late reply!!!

Don't worry about it. We can't all be on top of our game all the time.

iburl June 13, 2012 at 1:18 am

My bipartisan Zombie Apocalypse amendment would make face eating bath salt abuse punishable by being strapped to a drone and dropped off in Iran.

BarackMyWorld June 13, 2012 at 1:29 am

Say…that Rand Paul is kind of a crazed idiot, I am noticing.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 2:21 am

He's one Shemp short of a Stooge, if you catch my drift.

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 1:32 am

John McCain’s farm bill amendment “would require the administration to report by August on the full effects of the $500 billion in automatic defense cuts slated to take effect starting next year.”

Defense contractors have to stop charging $600 for a toilet seat

Jim DeMint’s farm bill amendment “would repeal the Dodd-Frank financial reform law.”

Those farms have to get fertilizer from some place, and they've come to like the crap from Wall Street

Tom Coburn’s farm bill amendment says that “the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Market Access Program, heavily used by the San Francisco-based Wine Institute and other California farm organizations promoting overseas sales, couldn’t pay for ‘wine tastings’ or ‘reality TV shows.’”

If wine in a box is good enough for Oklahoma, it'll do for you hippies and foreigners

Rand Paul’s farm bill amendment would…

Promote Rand Paul, of course. Oh. and make his toilet work, also, too

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2012 at 1:41 am

Thanks for caring about our little Arizona election, folks. The bagger has, indeed, been defeated in this 'burg. Barber was just interviewed on local TV. He was asked if he thought his victory had any national implications. He immediately replied, "No." He said people in Southern Arizona have three very specific issues: improving border security, protecting Social Security, and taking care of the many veterans we have sent to war from this district. He said he didn't think that had all that much to do with the national picture but it's what he feels he was elected to go to Washington and act on.

One beacon of hope for the future: Jesse Kelly was defeated by a significantly bigger margin than the one Gabby Giffords squeaked by with two years ago.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 2:00 am

Great comment, Jukesgrrl. I don't know Barber personally, but I know folks who've known him for many years and they've always said he was a smart and decent guy, but the main knock I've heard about him this year was he and his staff need to pay more attention to down-home Pima County issues. But now that the campaign is over, he'll no doubt figure that one out. Plus, in his newly redrawn district, he has a lot less conservatives to pander to than Gabby had to, so he just may be around for a long time. And as a bearded person myself, I hope he keeps the Colonel Sanders look.

Good news out of AZ is always welcome news.

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 2:34 am

I was under the impression that the new district to take shape in November was more conservative, not less. I had heard that the new district is going to be tougher for a Democrat to hold.

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2012 at 4:20 am

There's confusion about that even in the neighborhood. On the map it seems to me to be problematic — a lot of rural which usually means Bibles. But when the redistricting was completed, the Republicans sued to have it rescinded since they thought they were getting screwed. Judge said it was done fair and square. So who knows.

I think one thing the Barber election makes clear: we have four parties here: Democrats, old-fashioned Republicans (the stereotypical retiree from Minnesota), the Green Party (which always draws several thousand), and crackpots. There are a lot of crackpots and their numbers seem to wax and wane. The full moon was over shortly before this election, so we came out ahead this time.

smokefilledroommate June 13, 2012 at 4:54 am

Barber's win is a true triumph in this state. However, don't even get me started on 'new election cycles'. It affects a small but largely Hispanic area including the town in which I live. Thanks, Jan. Here's to the fucking Centennial.

ElPinche June 13, 2012 at 2:16 am

Finally …some good news. Thanks !

bringmeanaxe June 13, 2012 at 1:53 am

Thanks, Rand Paul. Now, all those Pakistani farmers are going to be pissed at us.

PubOption June 13, 2012 at 9:23 am

No more opium poppy subsidies, the price of heroin will increase dramatically.

SudsMcKenzie June 13, 2012 at 4:00 am

I now H V an mend 2 @ChuckGrassley

DerrickWildcat June 13, 2012 at 4:33 am

If you've ever been on a good size feedlot (sigh, I actually lived on one for a year when I was a kid. I was miserable) you'd know why the Man wants to take a look-see at them.

smokefilledroommate June 13, 2012 at 4:38 am

Wait, the Wine Institute–isn't that Dodo Bush-Koch's husbandkoch's thing?

glamourdammerung June 13, 2012 at 5:25 am

Yes.

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 5:51 am

Hey! It's no avatar Wednesday!

SudsMcKenzie June 13, 2012 at 7:32 am

hey, everybody, were ALL going to get laid !12

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 9:04 am

On no avatar Wednesday you can go to the office naked and no one will recognize you.

arihaya June 13, 2012 at 6:49 am

nothing good ever came from SC's senators, first that maid-raping Storm Thurmond and now .. this Wall St-sucking DeMinted person

Terry June 13, 2012 at 7:53 am

Fritz Hollings used to have his good points.

An_Outhouse June 13, 2012 at 7:29 am

Which Senator added the ammendment to legalize Soilant Green?

Terry June 13, 2012 at 7:52 am

So, Rand Paul wants to do away with food stamps? Let's take a look at the use of food stamps in Kentucky, the State he represents.

Number of Kentucky people participating in Feb 2012:840,590
Total $ distributed to KY residents via food stamps in Feb 2012: $106,657,178
Average Monthly Food Stamp Benefits per Participant in FY11: $127.60
http://www.statehealthfacts.org/profileind.jsp?ca

So, there are more than 800,000 people in KY the junior senator from that State wants to screw out of $127.60 a month that can only be used for food and food related products.

I wonder if those people vote and that they realize that Rand Paul thinks they should be a bit hungrier.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 8:33 am

I'm ready to cut the red states off. At least until they wise up.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

Kentucky's food stamp recipients all tend to live in "Real America" and are more than willing to sacrifice their $120 in order to ensure those "urban" (read "blah") welfare queens stop driving Cadillacs.

Terry June 13, 2012 at 9:15 am

I suspect more than a few of Rand Paul's supporters don't connect his desire to cut Federal assistance with those checks they themselves receive.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:20 am

How does this farm bill affect Major Major Major Major's father?

anniegetyerfun June 13, 2012 at 8:32 am

I thought libertarians wanted everyone to be armed, because that way, everyone would be polite?

SudsMcKenzie June 13, 2012 at 8:45 am

Yes, just like the Burr – Hamilton or Chris Mathews -Zell Miller tea summits.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 8:35 am

Oh no! I'm a featureless generic round-headed white person with no shoulders living in a gray world!

Well, that's probably more reflective of reality than I'd care to admit.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 8:53 am

Mitt, is that you?

randcoolcatdaddy June 13, 2012 at 8:54 am

I've never really thought about it before, but George W. Bush was very much like corn.

The way it gets caught in your teeth is very annoying. When processed, it's too sugary and bad for your health. When consumed, it doesn't digest well and pretty much comes out the way it went in. And, when you're finished with it, it leaves a bunch of cobs around and you have to figure out what you're going to do with them.

Of course, all these problems are solved with corn if you just forget about doing anything serious with it and just make moonshine instead.

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 11:30 am

Remember how the right wing nutz wanted to repeal the estate ("death") tax because families were losing their farms when Mom and Pop kicked the bucket and the back and front 40 had to be sold for those terrible Federal taxes and everything?

The only trouble was nobody – as in no one, not one person, not a soul on the face of God's green earth – could come up with a single – just ONE – fucking case where this actually happened.

ttommyunger June 13, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Wait? What? Ron Paul's slack-jawed mouth breathing spawn is a United States Senator? We are so fucked!

MissNancyPriss June 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Finished reading the amendments and am now preparing to hang myself in my office.

scvirginia June 13, 2012 at 12:14 am

What? He was makin' googly eyes at Strom's mama? Bastard deserved what he got, y'know?

Anyway, here's a linky link about her grandson: http://bit.ly/K0HGw5

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:21 am

Thanks. He looks just like Jim Rockford's con artist cousin, Aaron, who was played by the underrated actor James Hampton, who specialized in good old boy types, and was probably most famous for being in "F Troop"… http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3

Estproph June 13, 2012 at 8:56 am

He was also the lead in "Hawmps". Saw it as a kid. Would not see it again as an adult. Also he was in The Longest Yard alongside Burt Reynolds.

Weird. I've seen him in so many things, but never knew his name until now.

Negropolis June 13, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I knew I wasn't crazy! Well, any more crazy than I already am, but that's a whole other post.

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