GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL  5:08 pm June 12, 2012

Poor George Zimmerman’s Wife Just Cannot Catch A Break

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hey dad I'm in jailFirst George Zimmerman’s wife — uh, let’s see here, Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25 — marries George Zimmerman, who may, just may, be some sort of hyper-aggressive, rage-anoidal homicidal maniac. Then she has to go into hiding for a long time because the New Black Panther Party pretty much wants to murder everyone George Zimmerman has ever met just because he accidentally or something murdered a little boy. And THEN she goes to JAIL!

Will Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25, wife of the NRA’s favorite martyr, ever catch a break? No. She will not. Some people are just born under the kind of unlucky star that makes them lie under oath (ALLEGEDLY!) about whether or not they’ve got $135 large sewn into the lining of their Members Only jackets.

Shellie N. Zimmerman, 25, is out on bail. [CNN]

 

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{ 179 comments }

Barb June 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm

What a charming couple. What took them so long to arrest her fat ass? It's like they arrest people alphabetically in Florida.

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I'd give her about 15 minutes before she's beating up her cellie.

Barb June 12, 2012 at 5:40 pm

A whole bunch of avatars seem to be missing, yours included, Fizzy. Am I the only one who sees this right now?

Devilette June 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Yeah there's quite a few avatars missing. Including mine!

stncmchnc June 12, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I noticed it when I replied to you on the previous thread.

CivicHoliday June 12, 2012 at 6:20 pm

oh noes we are all anonymous now!

Butch_Wagstaff June 12, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Oh good. I thought I was seeing things & I haven't even cracked open the pale ale yet.

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Nope not the only one. A few fairly odd things happening in elctroworld right now. Sorry about the meow BTW – just an off moment you know. You're the best.

Biff June 12, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I have a lot invested in my avatar, it better be here!

HempDogbane June 12, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Looks the same to me.

johnnymeatworth June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

There's probably a centuries-long backup in Florida, to be fair.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 7:19 pm

That arse is slippery as an eel.

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Thanks for that image. More like a manatee.

nounverb911 June 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm

For a start, she should take her hoodie off.

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Pretty average Florida couple. If I was waking up to this beast every day I would opt for jail too.

nounverb911 June 12, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Which beast? George or Shellie?

Generation[redacted] June 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

All of 'em Katie

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 5:25 pm

They do have a certain family resemblance now that you sort of pointed it out. Hmmmmm….

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 1:35 am

The beast which was prophecised in the Book of Statutes?

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm

You can't spell Shellie without 'lie'.

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:32 pm

or "hell".

Lascauxcaveman June 12, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Hey c'mon, she's white. She can't possibly be up to no good.

Designer_Radio June 12, 2012 at 9:39 pm

You know who else had the letters that spell "lie" in their name?

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:23 am

Joe Lieberman?

imissopus June 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Damn judge made her miss her shift at Supercuts.

nounverb911 June 12, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Shellie should go hang out with Rev Terry Jones.

Pragmatist2 June 12, 2012 at 5:14 pm

This is a lucky break. His attorney is offering a 2 for 1 special this week only.

Schmannnity June 12, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Her face explains why George carries a gun.

Tommmcattt June 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Oh, my, that was funny. I love the mean shit.

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Wow, they look a lot alike. Maybe it's the fat mugshot face.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard June 12, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Oh, so now the libruls are saying George Z. is a tranny!

Swampgas_Man June 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

The camera adds ten pounds!

Biff June 12, 2012 at 7:41 pm

OK, so that accounts for 10 of them…

glasspusher June 12, 2012 at 8:00 pm

OK, how many cameras does she have on her, then?

spinozasgod June 12, 2012 at 9:40 pm

to your face…..

starfanglednut June 12, 2012 at 10:33 pm

That's what I keep telling myself.

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 10:48 pm

You guys are horrible. lol

BarackMyWorld June 12, 2012 at 5:16 pm

So…who you think's gonna play the Zimmermans in the inevitable movie?

Arken June 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Both of them will be played by Martin Lawrence in a fat suit and makeup.

LesBontemps June 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Brangelina, duh.

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Roseanne Barr would have to gain weight for the part.

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Paul Rodriguez and Kathy Bates

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Melissa McCarthy and Carlos Mencia.

coolhandnuke June 12, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Bristol and whatever Zima treating specimen she's shacking with.

johnnymeatworth June 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Randy and Evi Quaid?

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I'm thinking Snooki, if she can pack on a few pounds.

Not_So_Much June 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm

That chick from Precious and the whiney-ass husband from Jon & Kate +8.

new_pic_for_NEWTer June 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Tom Cruise and John Travolta

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

FTW!

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Oh, Jonah Hill and Snooki, no doubt.

TribecaMike June 13, 2012 at 12:41 am

Beats me, but only Guillermo del Toro can direct it.

BklynE June 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

Rob Lowe and Tyler Perry

elviouslyqueer June 12, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Oh dear, bless Shellie's heart. She's got the face that just screams "People of Wal-Mart."

Devilette June 12, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I always try to find something beautiful/nice in a person's face. Pretty eyes, good nose or cheekbones, pretty smile, etc. For only being 25 yrs old, she looks haggard. It could be the stress of this bad situation, but somehow I don't think that's the case.

LetUsBray June 12, 2012 at 9:06 pm

If by "this bad situation" you mean "being married to an angry nutter like Geo. Zimmerman", then that may well be the explanation.

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 10:51 pm

You know, I don't think she's ugly, at all. But she does have a "trailerpark chic" look about her, you know, someone you wouldn't be surprised to find cooking meth in the bathroom.

BelleSC June 12, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Plus she's got that Jesus hair going on…like Bristol.

Schmannnity June 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

What are the odds she has a Confederate flag tramp stamp?

Butch_Wagstaff June 12, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Maybe a lower belly tat that has an arrow pointing down to her hoo-hah that reads "Enter Here"?

My imagination often prevents me from wanting dinner.

BelleSC June 12, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Pretty fair odds I'd say.

grandinquisitor June 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm

No, she's classier than that. She goes to Sam's Club.

"Taped phone calls between the couple revealed that they had discussed the money transfers in code to hide the funds, according to the affidavit. The calls also showed that George Zimmerman instructed his wife to "pay off all the bills," including payments to American Express and Sam's Club. Nearly $50,000 was transferred to an account held by Zimmerman's sister."
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012-06

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Are you sure this photo doesn't belong with the stoners post? I'm a little confused…

Arken June 12, 2012 at 5:17 pm

From the looks of things, she can't catch anything unless it's walking away really slowly.

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Damn, if I painted her orange and set her on my porch this coming Halloween I wouldn't have to deal with those Trick or Treat pests. I'm off to Sherwin-Williams. One gallon or two?

elviouslyqueer June 12, 2012 at 5:21 pm

All of them, JW.

Sassomatic June 12, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Why is Obama personally persecuting fine upstanding Americans who lie under oath? RACE WAR.

tbogg June 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Unsurprisingly, 14 comments in and not one "I'd tap that." You people are getting soft. Wait .. that's her face causing that.

elviouslyqueer June 12, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Fine. I'd tap that… with an agricultural combine. Then I'd put the combine in reverse, back up, and tap it again.

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I'd spinal tap that then throw it in the garbage.
(sorry if that was disturbingly harsh).

MrFizzy June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Or a horizontal drilling rig to go in through her ear.

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Yes, we're getting soft, but if that's an issue, she can get us off in a different way: hiring somebody we'd actually tap.

starfanglednut June 12, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Damn you!

Flat_Earther June 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Ugly people can have good sex too…

Biel_ze_Bubba June 12, 2012 at 6:37 pm

I dunno … the vibe I'm getting from this charming portrait says that it would take more than a paper bag to solve the problem.

stncmchnc June 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Needs moar Tom Delay mugshot smile.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 12, 2012 at 6:28 pm

It's okay, she could get us off in a different way.

P.S: An interesting production note here: I vomited a little in my mouth while writing this.

Flat_Earther June 13, 2012 at 12:01 am

You are getting soft…

You should have hung around to find out what he meant.

mrblifil June 12, 2012 at 7:22 pm

We were roundly chastised by the new schoolmarms not to be that way because rape.

cheetojeebus June 12, 2012 at 8:50 pm

And one has to ask..in what "context" would you "tap" that?

imissopus June 12, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I used up my one "I'd hit that" of the day in the post with the semi-hot WaPo reporter.

hunnybee June 13, 2012 at 1:13 am

ok.ok. you Wonky Wonketeers have totally destroyed what was left of my so-called mind. now i got to go back on teh meds and back in teh home. i lurves you guys.

ph7 June 12, 2012 at 5:19 pm

If Sarah Palin had another daughter, she would look like Shellie Zimmerman.

Barb June 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Oh my God! I started laughing so hard that I had to spit my gum out so I wouldn't choke on it. You are classic!

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm

They would lock her in the basement and Piper and Willow would throw scraps down to her and tell her she can join the rest of the family when "she's not so fat".

Stevola June 13, 2012 at 1:08 am

"It puts the lotion on its skin…"

smokefilledroommate June 13, 2012 at 5:23 am

"And then it has to listen to mom again!"

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 10:55 pm

I'm sorry, Rebecca, but this is far-and-away the very BEST comment on the week.

Stevola June 13, 2012 at 1:07 am

Sarah or the daughter?

Blueb4sunrise June 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm

But Mr. Judge, I only forgot because I was high the whole time.

Hera Sent Me June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Behind every stupid man is a stupid woman.

Or vice versa.

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:35 pm

This reminds me of the recent anular eclipse. Just…not as bright.

glasspusher June 12, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Excellent. Two round bodies, though

Biel_ze_Bubba June 12, 2012 at 6:40 pm

You just have to multiply their IQ values … after normalizing. (100 = 1)

StarsUponThars June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

That photo is 100% foolproof birth control.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 12, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Nothing between the ears is almost as effective as aspirin between the knees.

lochnessmonster June 12, 2012 at 5:27 pm

But judge it was presents from the NRA not earnings!

Mittens Howell, III June 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Charming wife, George. Shotgun wedding?

SayItWithWookies June 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm

She's got a pretty good defense — it would go something like "Hey, your honor — I started a defense fund for a racist stalking psychopath who murdered an innocent teenager in cold blood — how the fuck was I to know it would have more than five bucks in it?"

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 12, 2012 at 5:33 pm

She has yet to stand her ground … against a donut, that is.

Ryy June 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

It is just amazing that all the righty blogs and such that could not get enough of Zimmerman, and all their commenters who just went ballistic, all of them have been dead quiet since Zim lied and was sent back to jail.

hunnybee June 13, 2012 at 1:16 am

not a feckin' word has been heard.

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Stand Your Frown.

Guppy June 12, 2012 at 7:21 pm

It's the ones that smile for their mugshot that you have to worry about.

fartknocker June 12, 2012 at 5:38 pm

If her skin was a tad darker she would look like Proposition Joe from The Wire. Unlike her, Prop Joe was a cool character.

Doktor Zoom June 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Your Honor, it said right on the website that it was a Defense Fund, not a Bail Bond Fund. You wouldn't want us to be defraudin' our supporters, would you?

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 12:52 am

Would you like to see something completely unholy? Yeah, that's right. It's Orville's body with the face of Andrew Breitbart.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 9:29 am

Move all BreitZIG for great justice!

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Their saga is currently being developed into an opera called "Porky and Beast" by Julie Taymor. "Zimmertime….and the livin' ain't easy…"

Jus_Wonderin June 12, 2012 at 5:49 pm

I hope it doesn't involve the highwire stuff…all that snapping cable sound would ruin the performance.

Lucidamente1 June 12, 2012 at 6:02 pm

"Beast, you is my woman now. . ."

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Beast suddenly stands up next to her lawyer and defiantly sings:

Well, it ain't necessarily so
Well, it ain't necessarily so
They tell all you chillun
That Porky’s the villain,
But it ain't necessarily so!

Trayvon was small, but oh my!
Trayvon was small, but oh my!
Hood-face had a frown —
Porky stood his ground —
Trayvon was small, but oh my!

Who says I got money
to set free my honey?
It aint ne-ce – ain’t ne-ce
aint ne-ce – ain’t ne-ce
Ain’t necessarily…so!

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Is this before or after she sings, "I got plenty a nuthin/ And it's hidden right here in my clothes'"?

glasspusher June 12, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Sounds like another low budget horror film from Zims Productions. Where is Harry?

LesBontemps June 12, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Gives new meaning to "A Woman Is A Sometime Thing."

Butch_Wagstaff June 12, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I don't think Audra McDonald would win a Tony for that.
I don't even think she would take the part.
And, at this point, she doesn't have to. Thankfully.

LesBontemps June 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Third runner-up in the Divine look-alike contest.

Ryy June 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Zimmerman was just out looking for Skittles for his wife.

emmelemm June 12, 2012 at 5:50 pm

Snark meter turned low, but not entirely off:

Seriously, she MAY be a horrible human being (there's certainly evidence to suggest it), but she's not THAT ugly.

Stevola June 13, 2012 at 1:11 am

You should get out more

Monsieur_Grumpe June 12, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Please tell me that this couple is not breeding.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Just what the world needs, another reality show.

ElPinche June 12, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Looks like the plot thickens for the conservatives' darling star Zimmerman.

LesBontemps June 12, 2012 at 6:12 pm

The plot isn't the only thing that's thickened. Unless her nickname is "The Plot."

Goonemeritus June 12, 2012 at 6:00 pm

I ask you do we really want to live in a country that won’t allow you to profit from the suffering of others. Sure her partner caused the suffering but still.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 12, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Do you get the awful feeling that, at the end of the day, this pair will end up with their own reality show and/or Fucks Gnus contract, and a boatload of money from Amerikkka's more depraved media outlets?

vodkamuppet June 12, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I can't explain why but when I look at this picture all I can think of is biscuits and sausage gravy.

glasspusher June 12, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Waffle House FTW

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 11:29 pm

Denny's libel!

tweeksmom June 12, 2012 at 6:14 pm

She looks like a pre-op Bristol Palin….

stncmchnc June 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Indeed, and post-op as well.

glamourdammerung June 12, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I can hardly wait to see how getting in trouble for perjury is a "liberal plot to get Zimmerman".

Callyson June 12, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Prosecutors have alleged the Zimmermans spoke in code when discussing the money in a credit union account, according to court documents filed by State Attorney Angela B. Corey.

"Honey, did you put the cake in the oven?"

Yeah, they're a match made in heaven…

HarryButtle June 12, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Ut-pay the oney-may under the atress-may.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Woah. The misogyny is strong here today. I can feel my ovaries starting to cut themselves.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Nah we don't hate all women. Just pathologically lying ones who are married to racist rage freak murderers and continue to break the law in his defense instead of getting him to man up and take responsibility for his homicidal actions.

Guppy June 12, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Comments on Gulnara attacked her character.

These, not so much.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Her husband attacked an unarmed teenager and she is as unrepentant and dishonest as he is. Still don't feel the least bit bad for her

Guppy June 12, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I'm not saying "Feel bad for her," I'm saying there's less people saying "She's a terrible person" and more saying "She's an ugly person."

HoytClagwell June 12, 2012 at 8:26 pm

It's making me feel a bit cringe-y too. Aren't we supposed to be better than this — attacking someone for their appearance?

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Well, it's not that I've never done it before. But it's not usually ALL I do. Oh, wait. With the exception of Huckabee.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Her husband attacked, and killed, a young boy for his, and she criminally supported it by committing perjury on his behalf. Don't lose any sleep over it.

Tundra Grifter June 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Meanwhile, the Governor of the Great State of Florida is trying to get as many Bah folks as possible off the voting rolls – because it sure does look like (r)Money needs that state to win.

This time I hope the fucking Democrats are prepared. Watch "Unprecedented; the 2000 Presidential Election" if you don't believe me.

Dang! Here we goes again…

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 6:49 pm

One bit of good news about that is he can't get a single FL county voting official to go along with his nefarious plan.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I'm not saying she's stupid, but this morning her lawyer had to inform her that it's not called the "Three Kikes and You're Out" law.

swordfis June 12, 2012 at 6:49 pm

The history of the four Marx Brothers

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 6:54 pm

"Who's on tsuersht?" Oh wait, that's Abbot & Costello.

And alas nobody ever remembers Gummo. :-(

wonkettkinkster June 12, 2012 at 6:59 pm

There's a joke in here about a variety of fats and the Zimmerman pantry. Someone cleverer than I make one, please.

Here's some starting points:
Vegetable shortening
Lard
Bacon fat
Butter
Margarine

Any other fat suggestions are welcome.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 7:10 pm

Not to repeat rumors, but I hear that around the bar scene she's known as Mac & Sleaze, as well as The Bisque Bizootch.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Oh she caught a break alright. Looks like she caught the whole damn Kit – Kat bus

shortsandpants June 12, 2012 at 7:12 pm

In context you cannot blame a Zimmerman, or the many Zimmermans that have been eaten by other Zimmermans during times of famine, or abundance.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Thankfully, Bobby Zimmerman has so far managed to avoid that fate, probably because they train zombie hunters early in the Minnesota Iron Range, or at least they did back in the fifties before education budget cuts.

mrblifil June 12, 2012 at 7:26 pm

There's no reason to suspect, however, that they are not otherwise on the level.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Exactly, how many other articles have Wonketeers had fun at the expense of someone's appearance aside from this travesty and Mema. Skoalrebel, Michelle Bachmann, Marcus Bachmann, countless others. Its not misogyny, its irreverence. We come here to snark and by no means are attacks on her attacks on women in general. If someone typed "Shes a fat beast and a whore and so are all women," that is misogyny and would be unacceptable. She, however, is someone who actively chose to do the wrong thing, to support a murderer instead of an innocent little boy, and if the worst thing that happens to her is some anonymous people on the internet call her fat then she should consider herself lucky. I don't mean to sound harsh but your concern is misplaced – she's lied about this who knows what else about that night she's lied about and as far as I'm concerned, thanks to her actions, she is nearly as complicit in that poor boys death and subsequent cover up as her homicidal husband and his scurrilous father.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Bollocks. The criticism of this woman is aimed almost entirely at her appearance. Is she totally awesome as a human being? No. Is she a frightened idiot? Yes. Could she be a terrible, hateful racist? I don't know. I don't know what's going through her head, but people make some pretty terrible decisions when it comes to defending people that they love. She isn't an elected official and she hasn't offered much in the way of public statements (unlike Bachmann and her ilk). I'd just rather attack her actions than her face at this rate.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 8:25 pm

How is perjuring yourself in a court of law, on the public record, not a public statement?

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I mean that there is a difference between this woman and someone like Sarah Palin, who has enough money and consultants to make better decisions than to have lipliner tattooed on or to wear hideous wig pieces.And, like I said (or other have said and I have agreed with, I honestly can't remember which at this point), there is more “look at the fat cow” going on here today than “I can't believe that she did that.”Of course, I CAN believe that she did that, because otherwise normal people sometimes do horrible things to try to help people they love. She made a terrible decision, but whether she made it in desperation or simply with the heart of a terrible bigot, I will never know.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 11:19 pm

She may be an otherwise normal person, but she has inserted herself onto the wrong side of this and undoubtedly committed a crime in support of a murderer. I will reiterate, jokes are at her expense are the least of her worries; her being married to a violent psychopath should be the greatest. She is, by her own choice, now a public figure. A law abiding person would not have perpetrated the crime of perjury, and a moral person would have distanced herself from her murderous spouse. She is getting the least of what's coming to her, and hopefully her husband will get his as well. A boy is dead for the crime of walking while black, and love is not an excuse for aiding and abetting a murderer and a liar. I mean none of this disagreement personally, honestly with a fellow Wonketeer it feels like a fight between siblings, but I have no respect or compassion for this woman or anyone else related to the cover up of this or any other crime

M. Bouffant June 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Racists Who Kill & The Affectless Women Who Love Them

pfavero June 12, 2012 at 8:08 pm

She is living the dream of a mob wife, taking the rap for her husband, refusing to snitch.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 8:09 pm

John Waters has finally found a leading lady to replace Ricki Lake. Lights, camera, lunch!

chascates June 12, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Shifting funds around amongst family members before a highly publicized trial isn't a really good idea. Maybe they should start looking for the 'real killer'.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Ugly is in the Eye of the Beholder and it's entirely likely that the Ugliest part of her body is her Mind. And, speaking of an Ugly Mind, regard this mugshot.Which one gives you the creeps, eh?

Oh, and Great Alt-Text!

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 9:29 pm

LOL but for a second there I thought you meant the Eye of The Beholder Amiga dungeon crawl game, which still gives me the creeps.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I'll look that up, thanks, but only after I wash Delay out of my head first.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm

The smiling mug shot is one of the lesser innovations of the 21st century.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Duly filed under "Horrible images that can't be Un-Seen."

rocktonsam June 12, 2012 at 10:07 pm

I'd hit that!

Who is with me?

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I'm a Romney supporter, so I'm not even allowed to whack the weasel. But good luck with that and enjoy rolling around on the flaming satin sheets of hell, commie.

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Get ready for the "Leave Shellie ALONE!" chorus. I can hear them warming up as we speak…

menopausemafia June 13, 2012 at 8:45 am

It depend on what your definition of 155 is……

I did not have sex with that money…….

Dildeaux June 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

Guilty ommission: Dildeaux contributed to the Zimmermann legal fund.

Yep, $0.01 to be exact. Hoping the transaction processing charge cost them $0.25.

ibwilliamsi June 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

They're not breeding are they? They'd be "non-breeders" in my fish tank.

ttommyunger June 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm

It is said by some that by the age of fifty a person has the face they deserve. Shellie seems to be rushing things a little.

stncmchnc June 12, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Nicely done.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Can't she be both?

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Yes. I'd rather see comments on chracter than the standard "wow, that's one ugly bitch" thing.

TribecaMike June 12, 2012 at 10:03 pm

I'm still in near-shock over DeLay getting convicted in the first place. Thought he had a bit more power in Tejas than that.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Yes, she appears to be a criminal. Which is the real issue here, not her face or her waistline and that's why I was surprised to see comment after comment about her appearance. It's not that we never snark on appearance here – it's just that it's not the majority of comments.

ETA: It's not a personal fight or anything. I'm just surprised by what I am reading.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 11:36 pm

I'm glad you're not taking it personally, because I love all of you guys (and gals) and thats why I come and comment here daily. What I do take personally is her tacit support of her husbands crime; having grown up in Memphis where racism is rampant and trash like this couple are the norm, her behavior is unfortunately to be expected and this is a case where a book is appropriately judged by its cover. Her and her husband's ugly and vicious personalities are expressed outwardly in their ugly and vicious appearance. I apologize on behalf of my comments and the rest of the community's if you were offended, but I feel no guilt on her behalf. Not all unattractive people are criminals, without a doubt, and humor and snark are a way for all of us to vent our disgust with the even more disgusting nature of our "Land of the free, home of the brave's" more trogolyditic denizens, instead of drowning ourselves in booze. Her husband killed a boy because of his appearance, we snark on hers. The depths of depravity to which a disconcerting amount of our populace descend bother all of us, and getting a cheap laugh is still getting a laugh instead of crying ourselves to sleep at the amorality of so much of our supposedly moral country.

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