IDJIT BRIGADE  9:00 am June 13, 2012

Arizona Guy Loves Guns So Much You Must Elect Him to Congress Now

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Here is excitable-looking Arizona nitwit congressional candidate “Ron Gould” runnin’ around with his flat-top ‘do and his murder weapons and his pack o’ hounds before he takes a quick break from huntin’ Mexicans in the desert to pump buckshot into “government-run health care,” meaning the federal health care reform law requiring citizens to purchase private insurance, from private companies. PRINCIPLES. For his next ad, “Ron Gould” will pump buckshot into leeching Arizona seniors crying for their government-run Medicare, probably.

For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post, which has this ridiculous detail about Ron Gould’s idiot son and this terrible ad:

The ad features men fondling guns and includes appearances from Gould’s sons, Ron Jr. and Robert Gould. But Robert does not carry a weapon in the ad, and for good reason: In January, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail after a felony theft conviction, which makes it illegal for him to possess firearms.

Patrick Gerhart, Gould’s campaign manager, said that the campaign made sure to keep Gould’s felonious son away from the weapons. “His son Robert was not around any of those shots. His son Ronnie was in those shots,” Gerhart noted accurately.

Well! Good to know that some thought went into the ad, at least. [YouTube/HuffPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 175 comments }

IncenseDebate June 13, 2012 at 9:03 am

Happiness is a warm gun.

niblick77 June 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

you beat me to it……….

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

I find burning sandlewood a little severe, but it tempers nicely with thyme.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:25 am

Damn these cheap foreign knockoffs! All this time, i'd been singing happiness is a warm gnu. How embarrassing.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:33 am

Good thing it wasn't a Chinese knockoff, or you'd sing "Happiness is a warm Nuge"

Fare la Volpe June 13, 2012 at 10:47 am

In the mouth.

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 12:58 pm

He's quite skillful at pulling on it, isn't he?

CivilMcMannerly June 13, 2012 at 9:04 am

"For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post"

Truer words were never spoken.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

Good place to go if you experience a twinge of inadequacy and want the cure.

Dr. Nick Riviera June 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

Also quack medical advice!

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:37 am

It's funny because it's true AND it's Dr Nick Riviera! Hi Dr Nick!

Chill_Bill June 13, 2012 at 9:21 am

From what I've heard, you also go there for the sideboobs.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:38 am

But not the comedy. No no. For that, it's our good old fashioned Amercian brand of comedy, from Teh Wonket

cheetojeebus June 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

yeah, fuckin sideboobs. there can never be too much sideboob.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 10:55 am

Remember when the brand new Huffington Post was a welcome breath of anti-Drudge fresh air?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:06 am

Maybe he can get Jesse Kelly to guest-star in his next ad. I mean, he ain't doin' nothin' nowadays anyway. They can go out and machine-gun some saguaros.

Arken June 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

I want to see more of the grizzled old prospector at 9 seconds in. Especially if he jumps up and does a jig yelling, "GOOOOLD! GOOOOOOOOOOOLD!"

MosesInvests June 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

The new sheriff's a ni(CLANG)!

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

Isn't that old-timer the same guy that's in the Wonkette stock AZ photo, with the huge cactus for cock and balls?

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:16 am

Cactus to you.

Regular Saturday night to Ann Coulter.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

"GOOOOLD! GOOOOOOOOOOOLD!"

You'd probably have better luck if you watched some futbol on Telemundo.

DerrickWildcat June 13, 2012 at 9:07 am

My first guess is that he is/was (same thing) a Marine.
My second guess was that he thinks of himself as a Marine.
It's the latter.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:09 am

Cue "there is NO SUCH THING as a 'former' Marine" rant…

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

Sometimes Fidelis.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

There is no such thing as a "former" Marine Poseur!!!

GeorgiaBurning June 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Semper Faux

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:32 am

I'm so stealing borrowing that.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 10:32 am

haha

DerrickWildcat June 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

As a Mareen Kernel that served with John Wayne and Audie Murphiy on the Apache Trail, I think I am best qualified, no…the only qualified Man on this whole World Wide Web Internet site to tell you who is and who isn't a Mareen!
Sic Semper Fifi!

MosesInvests June 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

OO-RAH!

PuckStopsHere June 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

So his son Robert is on the government dole, then? Getting all the free govt food and free govt health care in the joint. That's Socialism, my friends.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:30 am

I wonder if he was a guest of Sheriff Joe.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

Hey Ron, if you "pull" repeatedly, it's called "fapping."

OneDollarJuana June 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

Until you finally "shoot your wad".

IncenseDebate June 13, 2012 at 9:09 am

Is it just me, or did Wonkette remove our faces? Maybe Gould blew them off with his gunz??

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:13 am

Maybe our faces were fucked off by drunk Libertarians.

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

COTD

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:40 am

It's not just you.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:10 am

I Have No Mouth, And I Must Snark

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 10:13 am

Excellent.

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 10:14 am

As Jon Stewart would say, "It's like an Eyes Wide Shut orgy in here."

Barrelhse June 13, 2012 at 11:03 am

Like I told you
What I said
Steal Your Face
Right off your head.

eggsacklywright June 13, 2012 at 11:14 am

(Sigh) and me with this ice-cream cone on my forehead.

Estproph June 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

"Conservative Republican Ron Gould"

You'd think "Conservative" were some sort of earned title to listen to them, like Dr. or Rev. or something similar.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:14 am

It's shorter than Fuxstick, Second Class.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:15 am

Probably more like a professional license/certification, like a Professional Engineer (PE) or Professional Geologist (PG). That reminds me, I've got to renew my PG next month…

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:41 am

Listen, to Conservatives, rétard is a step up in rank.

Dashboard Buddha June 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

Dr. of Moraniscism

mcrummett June 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

As opposed to all those liberal Republicans.

Zombie_Reagan June 13, 2012 at 9:12 am

So, if elected, Mr. Gould will surely "pump himself full of buckshot" when he accepts that sweet, sweet federal health care supplied to all Congresscritters.

Oh yeah, and, socializim!!!111!!!!

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 9:31 am

Irony is indeed a fly in one's Chardonnay.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:40 am

"If I go to Congress, this is what I'm gonna do to Chardonnay…pull!!"

weejee June 13, 2012 at 9:18 am

But given yesterday's happiness in Gabby Giffords' former aide Ron Barber keeping her seat in Congress (by 7 freakin' points oh yeah!), perhaps the Arizonians are showing some sense about gunz.

Naaah, the Idgit Brigade is still very much alive and well.

Dr. Nick Riviera June 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

The gun nuts passed out after celebrating Indiana's victory against public servants and didn't make it to the polls.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:12 am

I'm sure Barber will find himself in their gunsights surveyors' marks come November. And he'll whup 'em again, because now the district is more heavily Democratic.

EatsBabyDingos June 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

He doesn't mention how Jesus wrote the Second Amendment after a night of drinking in Yuma. Doesn't he love America?!?

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 9:40 am

He's Mormon?

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:54 am

Jesus had to. He once shot a man in Flagstaff, just to bring him back to life.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:21 am

I thought at first that the logo on the guy's shirt was bragging that he has an Arizona Commercial Driver's License, but no.
From the website:
"If you want to protect your Right to Keep and Bear Arms in Arizona, then you want to join the Arizona Citizens Defense League (AzCDL)!"
Oh, one of those. Color me surprised.

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

They need guns to protect themselves from unarmed USDA and Census workers. Citizens' Defense!

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:24 am

"Ron, Ron Jr., and Robert."
God how I hate unclever alliteration.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:54 am

In Arizona it's illiteration.

Dashboard Buddha June 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

I was thinking more "Hi, I'm Larry; this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl"

Chill_Bill June 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

He's like the bastard child of Ron Burgundy and the bad guy from Avatar.

OneYieldRegular June 13, 2012 at 9:25 am

I have yet to understand why embarrassment and shame don't stop men like this from waving around guns as props; it does nothing but advertise and amplify their inadequacy for the whole world to see.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:10 am

It does? {Puts .45 back in drawer.}

hagajim June 13, 2012 at 10:44 am

I'm sure he drives a hugely jacked up pickup as well.

KarenJ503 June 13, 2012 at 2:06 pm

With huge steel balls hanging off the trailer hitch…

anniegetyerfun June 13, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Men like this seem to sincerely believe that you won't NOTICE that they obviously have micro-penises.

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

These endless fucking idjits are destroying my comfort zone.

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 9:26 am

Guns don't kill people. People with moustaches kill people.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 9:27 am

I bet he didn't even consider recycling that copy of the ACA law.

Barb June 13, 2012 at 9:32 am

Lost: one kitten avatar. If found, please call me.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:44 am

It's the face-eating Florida zombies! They've over-run intensedebate!!

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:54 am

HA! That explains how I still have mine. No one messes with Rambo Kitteh!

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

Looks to me like those of us logged in thru Wordpress are the only ones who retain our Purity of Essence, as it were.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

Hmmm.

Barb June 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

Chet, I am askert. Hold me, please.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 10:20 am

Don't call yourself a "skirt," that's sexist!

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

To be on the safe side, Barb, you should probably take it off.

KarenJ503 June 13, 2012 at 2:07 pm

You can borrow mine…

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 9:33 am

Arizona; the dry Florida.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

It's not the Derp, it's the Stupidity.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

It's a dry Hate.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:53 am

No gators. Lots of 'baters.

Bezoar June 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

Small eyes close together = mean.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

And usually, IQ < three digits, too.

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

And ignorant. (See: Scott Walker).

Dashboard Buddha June 13, 2012 at 10:02 am

My mom always said small eyes and ears = wife beater

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

Small eyes close together = Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, like Joe Scarborough

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 11:12 am

Good fucking God, those beady eyes and muffin hair can make me lunge for the remote.

CrunchyKnee June 13, 2012 at 9:34 am

ts;dw (too stupid didn't watch)

elburritodeluxe June 13, 2012 at 9:35 am

Rep. Ron Gould (R-Desert Shithole Methlab)

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

Gould? Sound Jewish. Maybe he ought to change it to Goulet.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:45 am

Too Frenchy.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:55 am

So maybe Poupon?

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:56 am

Gullet.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

I've got a Jewish acquaintance out in PHX who shares that last name, you can be sure I am going to be giving him some shit on this.

PubOption June 13, 2012 at 9:36 am

We don't need the ACA, well, not until we get sick.

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

Oh, Arizona, why do you try so hard to make Florida look good?

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:39 am

OT

Is it just a glitch in my computer or is there a movement afoot to remove avatars?

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:46 am

No, mine and a lot of other people's have disappeared. Perhaps they have been Raptured!

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:56 am

Aw, fuck! So truly, I am Simply Left Behind….

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 9:59 am

Now you can go into everyone's house and find their stash and drink up all their booze.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:00 am

Oh wait! Bonus! I'll say hi to Satan for you all…

dijetlo June 13, 2012 at 10:09 am

Much like third grade…

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 9:48 am

Yours is the only one I can see..

eggsacklywright June 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

The avatars go in, the avatars go out…who can explain it.

They were gone before, but I see them now, I do I do.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 9:43 am

He can understand that "we can't afford" healthcare but never gets to the point of asking why. Oooh, so close…

Pragmatist2 June 13, 2012 at 9:47 am

Guns are so "Vietnam Era." I want a guy with drones. Drones are cool.

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

I'm sure he drones, too.

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 10:23 am
Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:48 am

These people are so far gone, and have made campaign spots like these so often, that this is really unremarkable.

prommie June 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

It is extremely remarkable, that this has become unremarable, though.

chascates June 13, 2012 at 9:48 am

Hell, instead of an election just meet at high noon on Main Street ready to slap leather!

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

You mean vote for Congress at that Leather Man Convention thing? I used to work next to a hotel in Chicago when the leather boys came to town every year. That was some people-watching!

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:22 am

Really? I wouldn't think that afficionados of versatile multi-tools would be all that interesting to watch.

(No, it's just impossible to even talk about the hardware company without a wave of double entendres…oh, I did it again…)

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

I think Jan Brewer might not enjoy that much

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

Talk about distressed leather.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

That reminds me, Germany is playing Netherlands tonight.

OneDollarJuana June 13, 2012 at 9:58 am

I play with my Netherlands almost every night.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:01 am

8:45 at my place, watch about the first five minutes?

Fare la Volpe June 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

I'm pretty sure the last five are the most interesting part.

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

How about a compromise? We'll build you a fence fence, but it's got to have four sides, not just one.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 9:57 am

Bonus, Arizona's a nice square state! We won't need a whole lot of fancy posts or scienceticians to work out how to put it in place. Couple good ol' boys and a pick up truck.

sewollef June 13, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Mine field. Don't forget the mine field. And the razor wire.

The Feds will pay. Oh wait, silly me…. of course I mean we'll pay, since Arizona's another net recipient of my money.

randcoolcatdaddy June 13, 2012 at 9:51 am

Arizona … still trying to make NC, SC, Mississippi and Alabama not look so stoopid.

mavenmaven June 13, 2012 at 9:56 am

"We want govuhment out of our lives so elect me to govuhment."

Dashboard Buddha June 13, 2012 at 9:57 am

Wow…hook this guy up with the woman that voted against her child's happiness and we'll have one of them there super couples. Instead of Brangelina we'll have Gouldalooper.

CthuNHu June 13, 2012 at 10:15 am

And that's how Palins are made.

prommie June 13, 2012 at 10:04 am

Why have I got this sudden urge to pry things from his cold dead hands?
These people are the reason we can't have a nice government in this country. Somehow, someway, we used to keep this level of moron away from actually having a voice in things; what the fuck happened?

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

what the fuck happened?

Nothing. We have always been a nation of yahoos and morons. Technology has just made the idiocy more accessible, particularly to other idiots.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:21 am

They got that one line in the Bible a little wrong. "And the stupid shall inherit the earth."

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 10:31 am

Its been on the decline since Gutenberg. Zuckerberg made it worse.

GeneralLerong June 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

Am reading Twilight of the Elites for clues.

So far it's only made me consider buying another keg of Alaska APA to get me through the week. Also going out to the rifle range for more practice.

Major Thom June 13, 2012 at 10:16 am

I'm actually a pretty decent skeet shooter. When we run out of clay birds, we fling copies of the Ryan budget.

Mahousu June 13, 2012 at 10:18 am

The ad features men fondling guns

Gay porn, in other words. Smart move.

prommie June 13, 2012 at 10:19 am

The dude is sporting a totally glorious molester-stache, ain't he?

mrblifil June 13, 2012 at 10:30 am

Yeah, and when he mentions himself as a "straight-shooter" my gaydar is going off the chart.

prommie June 13, 2012 at 10:23 am

After he shoots Obama-care, I bet he's gonna shoot global warming and sea-level rising. Then he can shoot the deficit to death, and then he can shoot the shit out of the weak economy. There ain't no problems that can't be dealt with by shootin' them, yeee-hawwww.

Chichikovovich June 13, 2012 at 10:26 am

Guy's opposed to government run health care, eh? Since the new health-care law doesn't provide a government-run healthcare system, nor do Medicare and Medicaid, I guess Patriot Gould must be talking about the system of VA hospitals. I'm not sure he's going to get a lot of support for taking away a system that veterans depend on, but you have to respect that he's a man of principle.

didgen June 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

Perhaps it's the lack of humanity I mean humidity that causes all of this weirdness in Arizona.

proudgrampa June 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

The heat evaporates the brain until it becomes a dried-up husk.

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:31 am

Breaking news: Those who's avatar still shows are the finalists in the Win a Date With the Editrix Contest.

IncenseDebate June 13, 2012 at 10:43 am

This has caused me to lose face.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

I see what you did there, invisible stranger.

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 10:59 am

Mine disappeared but I made it come back, so am I stll in the runnning? And what are the terms and conditions of the date?

sullivanst June 13, 2012 at 11:19 am

How about those who just restored their avatar by finally getting around to setting up a Gravatar?

eggsacklywright June 13, 2012 at 10:32 am

I have a gun made entirely out of butter.

Thurman Munster IV June 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

I think that's a gub not gun

eggsacklywright June 13, 2012 at 11:00 am

Cheez-Whiz, Winch, now it's a Woody!

nonbeliever7 June 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

win-win……?

proudgrampa June 13, 2012 at 10:35 am

I don't have anything to say, I'm just testing my avatar.

proudgrampa June 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

AAAAARGH! Where is my avatar?????

proudgrampa June 13, 2012 at 10:36 am

It's a conspiracy, I tells ya!

LeAlbatross June 13, 2012 at 10:41 am

Arizona. The Dry Florida.

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

PRINGLES!

Fare la Volpe June 13, 2012 at 10:46 am

CELEBRITY NIP SLIPS (PHOTOS)

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Sideboobs or GTFO.

Terry June 13, 2012 at 10:48 am

Here's an idea. Nut jobs seem to regularly threaten to take all their guns and their canned goods and run off into the Mexican desert or to an enclave in Idaho. How can we give them all a good enough scare so that they do it and leave the rest of us to live in peace?

GeorgiaBurning June 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Threaten their supply of "Bud Light"

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 10:56 am

Once you pop, you can't stop!!

DahBoner June 13, 2012 at 10:58 am

Felony theft?

SHARIA LAW, CUT OFF HIS DICK (IF ANY)!!!

johnnyzhivago June 13, 2012 at 11:03 am

Vote for me, or I'll come to your house and shoot you!

sullivanst June 13, 2012 at 11:18 am

Too bad they didn't put thought enough into the ad to avoid saying "Washington needs a straight shooter" right after retelling the Lie of the Year, 2010.

LagunaB June 13, 2012 at 11:22 am

My avatar (and everyone's) shows up on the computer but not on my I-Phone.

GeneralLerong June 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

Some avatars are better than other avatars. Smirk.

Billmatic June 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Didn't this guy just lose to Leslie Knope?

glamourdammerung June 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

OH NO, NOBAMA'S THUGS TOOK AWAY HIS KID'S GUNZ FOR NO REESON!!!1111!!

rickmaci June 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Why do these neo-Nazi's think they also need to imitate Hitler with a nit wit mustache?

ttommyunger June 13, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I am ashamed to be so shallow as to judge just on appearances, but this turd looks so stupid I simply refuse to allow his words to enter my thought processes. You, see; I live in Georgia so my life is pretty much consumed by suppressing the urge to go Postal.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:27 am

OK, screw that Idea–I can see a couple of gravatars without the li'l "W" logo…

thatsitfortheother1 June 13, 2012 at 10:39 am

While you are giving advice, you might want to give Chet a nudge…

Opportunisticly_Joe June 13, 2012 at 10:51 am

I haz a wordpress, but because of complicated reasons, it's not directly linked to the IntenseDebate I use,

Designer_Radio June 13, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I think that's just it: "Gravatars" work also? But just uploading a pic to Intense Debate got ate up?

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