Arizona Guy Loves Guns So Much You Must Elect Him to Congress Now

  idjit brigade

Here is excitable-looking Arizona nitwit congressional candidate “Ron Gould” runnin’ around with his flat-top ‘do and his murder weapons and his pack o’ hounds before he takes a quick break from huntin’ Mexicans in the desert to pump buckshot into “government-run health care,” meaning the federal health care reform law requiring citizens to purchase private insurance, from private companies. PRINCIPLES. For his next ad, “Ron Gould” will pump buckshot into leeching Arizona seniors crying for their government-run Medicare, probably.

For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post, which has this ridiculous detail about Ron Gould’s idiot son and this terrible ad:

The ad features men fondling guns and includes appearances from Gould’s sons, Ron Jr. and Robert Gould. But Robert does not carry a weapon in the ad, and for good reason: In January, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail after a felony theft conviction, which makes it illegal for him to possess firearms.

 
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Patrick Gerhart, Gould’s campaign manager, said that the campaign made sure to keep Gould’s felonious son away from the weapons. “His son Robert was not around any of those shots. His son Ronnie was in those shots,” Gerhart noted accurately.

Well! Good to know that some thought went into the ad, at least. [YouTube/HuffPo]

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175 comments

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Damn these cheap foreign knockoffs! All this time, i'd been singing happiness is a warm gnu. How embarrassing.

  1. CivilMcMannerly

    "For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post"

    Truer words were never spoken.

    1. thatsitfortheother1

      Good place to go if you experience a twinge of inadequacy and want the cure.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe he can get Jesse Kelly to guest-star in his next ad. I mean, he ain't doin' nothin' nowadays anyway. They can go out and machine-gun some saguaros.

  3. Arken

    I want to see more of the grizzled old prospector at 9 seconds in. Especially if he jumps up and does a jig yelling, "GOOOOLD! GOOOOOOOOOOOLD!"

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Isn't that old-timer the same guy that's in the Wonkette stock AZ photo, with the huge cactus for cock and balls?

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      "GOOOOLD! GOOOOOOOOOOOLD!"

      You'd probably have better luck if you watched some futbol on Telemundo.

      1. DerrickWildcat

        As a Mareen Kernel that served with John Wayne and Audie Murphiy on the Apache Trail, I think I am best qualified, no…the only qualified Man on this whole World Wide Web Internet site to tell you who is and who isn't a Mareen!
        Sic Semper Fifi!

  4. PuckStopsHere

    So his son Robert is on the government dole, then? Getting all the free govt food and free govt health care in the joint. That's Socialism, my friends.

  5. IncenseDebate

    Is it just me, or did Wonkette remove our faces? Maybe Gould blew them off with his gunz??

  6. Estproph

    "Conservative Republican Ron Gould"

    You'd think "Conservative" were some sort of earned title to listen to them, like Dr. or Rev. or something similar.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Probably more like a professional license/certification, like a Professional Engineer (PE) or Professional Geologist (PG). That reminds me, I've got to renew my PG next month…

  7. Zombie_Reagan

    So, if elected, Mr. Gould will surely "pump himself full of buckshot" when he accepts that sweet, sweet federal health care supplied to all Congresscritters.

    Oh yeah, and, socializim!!!111!!!!

  8. weejee

    But given yesterday's happiness in Gabby Giffords' former aide Ron Barber keeping her seat in Congress (by 7 freakin' points oh yeah!), perhaps the Arizonians are showing some sense about gunz.

    Naaah, the Idgit Brigade is still very much alive and well.

    1. Dr. Nick Riviera

      The gun nuts passed out after celebrating Indiana's victory against public servants and didn't make it to the polls.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      I'm sure Barber will find himself in their gunsights surveyors' marks come November. And he'll whup 'em again, because now the district is more heavily Democratic.

  9. EatsBabyDingos

    He doesn't mention how Jesus wrote the Second Amendment after a night of drinking in Yuma. Doesn't he love America?!?

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    I thought at first that the logo on the guy's shirt was bragging that he has an Arizona Commercial Driver's License, but no.
    From the website:
    "If you want to protect your Right to Keep and Bear Arms in Arizona, then you want to join the Arizona Citizens Defense League (AzCDL)!"
    Oh, one of those. Color me surprised.

    1. not that Radio

      They need guns to protect themselves from unarmed USDA and Census workers. Citizens' Defense!

    1. Dashboard Buddha

      I was thinking more "Hi, I'm Larry; this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl"

  11. OneYieldRegular

    I have yet to understand why embarrassment and shame don't stop men like this from waving around guns as props; it does nothing but advertise and amplify their inadequacy for the whole world to see.

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Men like this seem to sincerely believe that you won't NOTICE that they obviously have micro-penises.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Looks to me like those of us logged in thru WordPress are the only ones who retain our Purity of Essence, as it were.

      1. freakishlywrong

        Good fucking God, those beady eyes and muffin hair can make me lunge for the remote.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I've got a Jewish acquaintance out in PHX who shares that last name, you can be sure I am going to be giving him some shit on this.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          Now you can go into everyone's house and find their stash and drink up all their booze.

    1. eggsacklywright

      The avatars go in, the avatars go out…who can explain it.

      They were gone before, but I see them now, I do I do.

  12. Guppy

    He can understand that "we can't afford" healthcare but never gets to the point of asking why. Oooh, so close…

  13. chascates

    Hell, instead of an election just meet at high noon on Main Street ready to slap leather!

    1. Chet Kincaid

      You mean vote for Congress at that Leather Man Convention thing? I used to work next to a hotel in Chicago when the leather boys came to town every year. That was some people-watching!

      1. Doktor Zoom

        Really? I wouldn't think that afficionados of versatile multi-tools would be all that interesting to watch.

        (No, it's just impossible to even talk about the hardware company without a wave of double entendres…oh, I did it again…)

  14. Serolf_Divad

    How about a compromise? We'll build you a fence fence, but it's got to have four sides, not just one.

    1. actor212

      Bonus, Arizona's a nice square state! We won't need a whole lot of fancy posts or scienceticians to work out how to put it in place. Couple good ol' boys and a pick up truck.

    2. sewollef

      Mine field. Don't forget the mine field. And the razor wire.

      The Feds will pay. Oh wait, silly me…. of course I mean we'll pay, since Arizona's another net recipient of my money.

  15. randcoolcatdaddy

    Arizona … still trying to make NC, SC, Mississippi and Alabama not look so stoopid.

  16. Dashboard Buddha

    Wow…hook this guy up with the woman that voted against her child's happiness and we'll have one of them there super couples. Instead of Brangelina we'll have Gouldalooper.

  17. prommie

    Why have I got this sudden urge to pry things from his cold dead hands?
    These people are the reason we can't have a nice government in this country. Somehow, someway, we used to keep this level of moron away from actually having a voice in things; what the fuck happened?

    1. LesBontemps

      what the fuck happened?

      Nothing. We have always been a nation of yahoos and morons. Technology has just made the idiocy more accessible, particularly to other idiots.

    2. thatsitfortheother1

      They got that one line in the Bible a little wrong. "And the stupid shall inherit the earth."

    3. GeneralLerong

      Am reading Twilight of the Elites for clues.

      So far it's only made me consider buying another keg of Alaska APA to get me through the week. Also going out to the rifle range for more practice.

  18. Major Thom

    I'm actually a pretty decent skeet shooter. When we run out of clay birds, we fling copies of the Ryan budget.

  19. prommie

    After he shoots Obama-care, I bet he's gonna shoot global warming and sea-level rising. Then he can shoot the deficit to death, and then he can shoot the shit out of the weak economy. There ain't no problems that can't be dealt with by shootin' them, yeee-hawwww.

  20. Chichikovovich

    Guy's opposed to government run health care, eh? Since the new health-care law doesn't provide a government-run healthcare system, nor do Medicare and Medicaid, I guess Patriot Gould must be talking about the system of VA hospitals. I'm not sure he's going to get a lot of support for taking away a system that veterans depend on, but you have to respect that he's a man of principle.

  21. didgen

    Perhaps it's the lack of humanity I mean humidity that causes all of this weirdness in Arizona.

  22. thatsitfortheother1

    Breaking news: Those who's avatar still shows are the finalists in the Win a Date With the Editrix Contest.

    1. LesBontemps

      Mine disappeared but I made it come back, so am I stll in the runnning? And what are the terms and conditions of the date?

    2. sullivanst

      How about those who just restored their avatar by finally getting around to setting up a Gravatar?

  23. Terry

    Here's an idea. Nut jobs seem to regularly threaten to take all their guns and their canned goods and run off into the Mexican desert or to an enclave in Idaho. How can we give them all a good enough scare so that they do it and leave the rest of us to live in peace?

  24. sullivanst

    Too bad they didn't put thought enough into the ad to avoid saying "Washington needs a straight shooter" right after retelling the Lie of the Year, 2010.

  25. rickmaci

    Why do these neo-Nazi's think they also need to imitate Hitler with a nit wit mustache?

  26. ttommyunger

    I am ashamed to be so shallow as to judge just on appearances, but this turd looks so stupid I simply refuse to allow his words to enter my thought processes. You, see; I live in Georgia so my life is pretty much consumed by suppressing the urge to go Postal.

Comments are closed.