Here is excitable-looking Arizona nitwit congressional candidate “Ron Gould” runnin’ around with his flat-top ‘do and his murder weapons and his pack o’ hounds before he takes a quick break from huntin’ Mexicans in the desert to pump buckshot into “government-run health care,” meaning the federal health care reform law requiring citizens to purchase private insurance, from private companies. PRINCIPLES. For his next ad, “Ron Gould” will pump buckshot into leeching Arizona seniors crying for their government-run Medicare, probably.

For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post, which has this ridiculous detail about Ron Gould’s idiot son and this terrible ad:

The ad features men fondling guns and includes appearances from Gould’s sons, Ron Jr. and Robert Gould. But Robert does not carry a weapon in the ad, and for good reason: In January, he was sentenced to 90 days in jail after a felony theft conviction, which makes it illegal for him to possess firearms.

Patrick Gerhart, Gould’s campaign manager, said that the campaign made sure to keep Gould’s felonious son away from the weapons. “His son Robert was not around any of those shots. His son Ronnie was in those shots,” Gerhart noted accurately.

Well! Good to know that some thought went into the ad, at least. [YouTube/HuffPo]

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  • IncenseDebate

    Happiness is a warm gun.

  • CivilMcMannerly

    "For more stupid, we go to the Huffington Post"

    Truer words were never spoken.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe he can get Jesse Kelly to guest-star in his next ad. I mean, he ain't doin' nothin' nowadays anyway. They can go out and machine-gun some saguaros.

  • Arken

    I want to see more of the grizzled old prospector at 9 seconds in. Especially if he jumps up and does a jig yelling, "GOOOOLD! GOOOOOOOOOOOLD!"

    • MosesInvests

      The new sheriff's a ni(CLANG)!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Isn't that old-timer the same guy that's in the Wonkette stock AZ photo, with the huge cactus for cock and balls?

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Cactus to you.

        Regular Saturday night to Ann Coulter.

    • BaldarTFlagass


      You'd probably have better luck if you watched some futbol on Telemundo.

  • My first guess is that he is/was (same thing) a Marine.
    My second guess was that he thinks of himself as a Marine.
    It's the latter.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Cue "there is NO SUCH THING as a 'former' Marine" rant…

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Sometimes Fidelis.

      • There is no such thing as a "former" Marine Poseur!!!

      • As a Mareen Kernel that served with John Wayne and Audie Murphiy on the Apache Trail, I think I am best qualified, no…the only qualified Man on this whole World Wide Web Internet site to tell you who is and who isn't a Mareen!
        Sic Semper Fifi!

    • MosesInvests


  • PuckStopsHere

    So his son Robert is on the government dole, then? Getting all the free govt food and free govt health care in the joint. That's Socialism, my friends.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I wonder if he was a guest of Sheriff Joe.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hey Ron, if you "pull" repeatedly, it's called "fapping."

    • OneDollarJuana

      Until you finally "shoot your wad".

  • IncenseDebate

    Is it just me, or did Wonkette remove our faces? Maybe Gould blew them off with his gunz??

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe our faces were fucked off by drunk Libertarians.

      • Serolf_Divad


    • It's not just you.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I Have No Mouth, And I Must Snark

      • BaldarTFlagass


    • not that Radio

      As Jon Stewart would say, "It's like an Eyes Wide Shut orgy in here."

    • Barrelhse

      Like I told you
      What I said
      Steal Your Face
      Right off your head.

      • eggsacklywright

        (Sigh) and me with this ice-cream cone on my forehead.

  • Estproph

    "Conservative Republican Ron Gould"

    You'd think "Conservative" were some sort of earned title to listen to them, like Dr. or Rev. or something similar.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It's shorter than Fuxstick, Second Class.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Probably more like a professional license/certification, like a Professional Engineer (PE) or Professional Geologist (PG). That reminds me, I've got to renew my PG next month…

    • Listen, to Conservatives, rétard is a step up in rank.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Dr. of Moraniscism

    • mcrummett

      As opposed to all those liberal Republicans.

  • Zombie_Reagan

    So, if elected, Mr. Gould will surely "pump himself full of buckshot" when he accepts that sweet, sweet federal health care supplied to all Congresscritters.

    Oh yeah, and, socializim!!!111!!!!

    • freakishlywrong

      Irony is indeed a fly in one's Chardonnay.

      • "If I go to Congress, this is what I'm gonna do to Chardonnay…pull!!"

  • But given yesterday's happiness in Gabby Giffords' former aide Ron Barber keeping her seat in Congress (by 7 freakin' points oh yeah!), perhaps the Arizonians are showing some sense about gunz.

    Naaah, the Idgit Brigade is still very much alive and well.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      The gun nuts passed out after celebrating Indiana's victory against public servants and didn't make it to the polls.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I'm sure Barber will find himself in their gunsights surveyors' marks come November. And he'll whup 'em again, because now the district is more heavily Democratic.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    He doesn't mention how Jesus wrote the Second Amendment after a night of drinking in Yuma. Doesn't he love America?!?

    • Guppy

      He's Mormon?

    • Jesus had to. He once shot a man in Flagstaff, just to bring him back to life.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I thought at first that the logo on the guy's shirt was bragging that he has an Arizona Commercial Driver's License, but no.
    From the website:
    "If you want to protect your Right to Keep and Bear Arms in Arizona, then you want to join the Arizona Citizens Defense League (AzCDL)!"
    Oh, one of those. Color me surprised.

    • not that Radio

      They need guns to protect themselves from unarmed USDA and Census workers. Citizens' Defense!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Ron, Ron Jr., and Robert."
    God how I hate unclever alliteration.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      In Arizona it's illiteration.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I was thinking more "Hi, I'm Larry; this is my brother Darryl, and this is my other brother Darryl"

  • He's like the bastard child of Ron Burgundy and the bad guy from Avatar.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I have yet to understand why embarrassment and shame don't stop men like this from waving around guns as props; it does nothing but advertise and amplify their inadequacy for the whole world to see.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      It does? {Puts .45 back in drawer.}

    • hagajim

      I'm sure he drives a hugely jacked up pickup as well.

      • KarenJ503

        With huge steel balls hanging off the trailer hitch…

    • anniegetyerfun

      Men like this seem to sincerely believe that you won't NOTICE that they obviously have micro-penises.

  • freakishlywrong

    These endless fucking idjits are destroying my comfort zone.

  • not that Radio

    Guns don't kill people. People with moustaches kill people.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I bet he didn't even consider recycling that copy of the ACA law.

  • Barb

    Lost: one kitten avatar. If found, please call me.

    • It's the face-eating Florida zombies! They've over-run intensedebate!!

      • HA! That explains how I still have mine. No one messes with Rambo Kitteh!

        • Doktor Zoom

          Looks to me like those of us logged in thru WordPress are the only ones who retain our Purity of Essence, as it were.

          • thatsitfortheother1


          • Doktor Zoom

            OK, screw that Idea–I can see a couple of gravatars without the li'l "W" logo…

          • I haz a wordpress, but because of complicated reasons, it's not directly linked to the IntenseDebate I use,

          • I think that's just it: "Gravatars" work also? But just uploading a pic to Intense Debate got ate up?

      • Barb

        Chet, I am askert. Hold me, please.

        • Don't call yourself a "skirt," that's sexist!

          • To be on the safe side, Barb, you should probably take it off.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            While you are giving advice, you might want to give Chet a nudge…

    • KarenJ503

      You can borrow mine…

  • freakishlywrong

    Arizona; the dry Florida.

    • It's not the Derp, it's the Stupidity.

      • Doktor Zoom

        It's a dry Hate.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      No gators. Lots of 'baters.

  • Bezoar

    Small eyes close together = mean.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And usually, IQ < three digits, too.

    • freakishlywrong

      And ignorant. (See: Scott Walker).

    • Dashboard Buddha

      My mom always said small eyes and ears = wife beater

    • not that Radio

      Small eyes close together = Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, like Joe Scarborough

      • freakishlywrong

        Good fucking God, those beady eyes and muffin hair can make me lunge for the remote.

  • CrunchyKnee

    ts;dw (too stupid didn't watch)

  • elburritodeluxe

    Rep. Ron Gould (R-Desert Shithole Methlab)

  • Gould? Sound Jewish. Maybe he ought to change it to Goulet.

    • Too Frenchy.

      • So maybe Poupon?

        • thatsitfortheother1


    • BaldarTFlagass

      I've got a Jewish acquaintance out in PHX who shares that last name, you can be sure I am going to be giving him some shit on this.

  • PubOption

    We don't need the ACA, well, not until we get sick.

  • LesBontemps

    Oh, Arizona, why do you try so hard to make Florida look good?

  • OT

    Is it just a glitch in my computer or is there a movement afoot to remove avatars?

    • No, mine and a lot of other people's have disappeared. Perhaps they have been Raptured!

      • Aw, fuck! So truly, I am Simply Left Behind….

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Now you can go into everyone's house and find their stash and drink up all their booze.

          • Oh wait! Bonus! I'll say hi to Satan for you all…

        • dijetlo

          Much like third grade…

    • freakishlywrong

      Yours is the only one I can see..

    • eggsacklywright

      The avatars go in, the avatars go out…who can explain it.

      They were gone before, but I see them now, I do I do.

  • Guppy

    He can understand that "we can't afford" healthcare but never gets to the point of asking why. Oooh, so close…

  • Pragmatist2

    Guns are so "Vietnam Era." I want a guy with drones. Drones are cool.

  • These people are so far gone, and have made campaign spots like these so often, that this is really unremarkable.

    • prommie

      It is extremely remarkable, that this has become unremarable, though.

  • chascates

    Hell, instead of an election just meet at high noon on Main Street ready to slap leather!

    • You mean vote for Congress at that Leather Man Convention thing? I used to work next to a hotel in Chicago when the leather boys came to town every year. That was some people-watching!

      • Doktor Zoom

        Really? I wouldn't think that afficionados of versatile multi-tools would be all that interesting to watch.

        (No, it's just impossible to even talk about the hardware company without a wave of double entendres…oh, I did it again…)

    • I think Jan Brewer might not enjoy that much

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Talk about distressed leather.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    That reminds me, Germany is playing Netherlands tonight.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I play with my Netherlands almost every night.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        8:45 at my place, watch about the first five minutes?

        • Fare la Volpe

          I'm pretty sure the last five are the most interesting part.

  • Serolf_Divad

    How about a compromise? We'll build you a fence fence, but it's got to have four sides, not just one.

    • Bonus, Arizona's a nice square state! We won't need a whole lot of fancy posts or scienceticians to work out how to put it in place. Couple good ol' boys and a pick up truck.

    • sewollef

      Mine field. Don't forget the mine field. And the razor wire.

      The Feds will pay. Oh wait, silly me…. of course I mean we'll pay, since Arizona's another net recipient of my money.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Arizona … still trying to make NC, SC, Mississippi and Alabama not look so stoopid.

  • mavenmaven

    "We want govuhment out of our lives so elect me to govuhment."

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Wow…hook this guy up with the woman that voted against her child's happiness and we'll have one of them there super couples. Instead of Brangelina we'll have Gouldalooper.

    • CthuNHu

      And that's how Palins are made.

  • prommie

    Why have I got this sudden urge to pry things from his cold dead hands?
    These people are the reason we can't have a nice government in this country. Somehow, someway, we used to keep this level of moron away from actually having a voice in things; what the fuck happened?

    • LesBontemps

      what the fuck happened?

      Nothing. We have always been a nation of yahoos and morons. Technology has just made the idiocy more accessible, particularly to other idiots.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      They got that one line in the Bible a little wrong. "And the stupid shall inherit the earth."

    • James Michael Curley

      Its been on the decline since Gutenberg. Zuckerberg made it worse.

    • GeneralLerong

      Am reading Twilight of the Elites for clues.

      So far it's only made me consider buying another keg of Alaska APA to get me through the week. Also going out to the rifle range for more practice.

  • Major Thom

    I'm actually a pretty decent skeet shooter. When we run out of clay birds, we fling copies of the Ryan budget.

  • Mahousu

    The ad features men fondling guns

    Gay porn, in other words. Smart move.

  • prommie

    The dude is sporting a totally glorious molester-stache, ain't he?

    • Yeah, and when he mentions himself as a "straight-shooter" my gaydar is going off the chart.

  • prommie

    After he shoots Obama-care, I bet he's gonna shoot global warming and sea-level rising. Then he can shoot the deficit to death, and then he can shoot the shit out of the weak economy. There ain't no problems that can't be dealt with by shootin' them, yeee-hawwww.

  • Chichikovovich

    Guy's opposed to government run health care, eh? Since the new health-care law doesn't provide a government-run healthcare system, nor do Medicare and Medicaid, I guess Patriot Gould must be talking about the system of VA hospitals. I'm not sure he's going to get a lot of support for taking away a system that veterans depend on, but you have to respect that he's a man of principle.

  • didgen

    Perhaps it's the lack of humanity I mean humidity that causes all of this weirdness in Arizona.

    • proudgrampa

      The heat evaporates the brain until it becomes a dried-up husk.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Breaking news: Those who's avatar still shows are the finalists in the Win a Date With the Editrix Contest.

    • IncenseDebate

      This has caused me to lose face.

      • I see what you did there, invisible stranger.

    • LesBontemps

      Mine disappeared but I made it come back, so am I stll in the runnning? And what are the terms and conditions of the date?

    • sullivanst

      How about those who just restored their avatar by finally getting around to setting up a Gravatar?

  • eggsacklywright

    I have a gun made entirely out of butter.

    • Thurman Munster IV

      I think that's a gub not gun

      • eggsacklywright

        Cheez-Whiz, Winch, now it's a Woody!

    • nonbeliever7


  • proudgrampa

    I don't have anything to say, I'm just testing my avatar.

  • proudgrampa

    AAAAARGH! Where is my avatar?????

  • proudgrampa

    It's a conspiracy, I tells ya!

  • LeAlbatross

    Arizona. The Dry Florida.

  • not that Radio


  • Fare la Volpe


    • Callyson

      Sideboobs or GTFO.

  • Terry

    Here's an idea. Nut jobs seem to regularly threaten to take all their guns and their canned goods and run off into the Mexican desert or to an enclave in Idaho. How can we give them all a good enough scare so that they do it and leave the rest of us to live in peace?

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Threaten their supply of "Bud Light"

  • Once you pop, you can't stop!!

  • DahBoner

    Felony theft?


  • Vote for me, or I'll come to your house and shoot you!

  • sullivanst

    Too bad they didn't put thought enough into the ad to avoid saying "Washington needs a straight shooter" right after retelling the Lie of the Year, 2010.

  • LagunaB

    My avatar (and everyone's) shows up on the computer but not on my I-Phone.

  • GeneralLerong

    Some avatars are better than other avatars. Smirk.

  • Billmatic

    Didn't this guy just lose to Leslie Knope?

  • glamourdammerung


  • rickmaci

    Why do these neo-Nazi's think they also need to imitate Hitler with a nit wit mustache?

  • ttommyunger

    I am ashamed to be so shallow as to judge just on appearances, but this turd looks so stupid I simply refuse to allow his words to enter my thought processes. You, see; I live in Georgia so my life is pretty much consumed by suppressing the urge to go Postal.

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