THE TREACHERY OF IMAGES  11:30 am June 13, 2012

Breitbarterdammerung: The Final Reckoning

by Doktor Zoom

The Knights Template; or, I Am Compelled to Lawyer Up

Communications theorist Howard Rheingold coined the term “smart mobs” to describe the potential for technology to bring people together in empowering, creative ways to do good in the world. Consider if you will the Twitter Revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, for instance. Or, closer to home, the Great Justice that resulted when a bunch of nerds noticed that a tacky artistic tribute to dead poopyhead Andrew Breitbart was mostly filched from a promotional image of a downloadable character for the 2010 video game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood.

Within mere hours of Your Wonkette’s story about the possible copyright infringement, (helped along by a re-embloggening by gaming site Kotaku), the image had vanished from the Patriot Depot website, which had been taking orders for versions ranging from $9.95 for a set of postcards to $3999.95 for a signed, framed print on canvas. And by the end of the weekend, the artist responsible for the Breit Knight image, David Bugnon, had issued an apology on his website:

Regarding the Andrew Breitbart picture

I started it on the day he died. I thought Andrew was a warrior for the truth and I was very sad to hear of his passing. I was inspired to do a photo “chop” tribute for Andrew. Photo “chopping” is an artform, it’s what I do. I never intended to market the picture and did not want to refer to it as a painting (it’s a photo manipulation in combination with illustration and rendering), and I never put a price tag on it, I was just going to post it on Freaking News for a Photoshop contest. My main error in judgement was signing a release for it to be sold, (50% of the proceeds were to go to the Breitbart children’s fund). I sincerely regret my decision and apologize to everyone involved, those that pre-ordered, and those offended by the use of a portion of the copyrighted image.

Fair enough, although we think “doubled over in disbelieving laughter at such clueless ballsiness” describes our reaction more accurately than “offended.” Bugnon explains that accusations of mere cutting-and-pasting are just totally unfair, come on, REALLY you guys are so mean:

I did not just plop Andrews head on the knight image, I worked on it for months in my spare time, re-creating every belt, rivet, cloth item, leather armor and did much cleanup and rendering to the metal armor. It was totally re-worked. I kept the pose and look of the knight image, because I liked it and tried to mimic it. Also, every hair and whisker on the head was re-created, the skin and eyes too. I’ve learned an important lesson and will be very prudent in selecting my source images in the future.

Let us be clear: there was no plopping. Of this apologia, Wonkette commenter Chet Kincaid says, “That is one of the saddest, most pathetic things I have ever read on the Internet.”

Also noteworthy is the craftsman’s doting devotion to his brainchild — sure, he kept the “pose and look” of the source image (and the curlicues, and the pleats, indeed ALL the basic elements of the design), but he added a bitchen dragon on the chest, and made a cool new sword, and fancy (backward, girly) belt buckles, and turned the sash into patriotic flag-patterned bunting, and he’s lived with it so long that it’s his, really, isn’t it, kinda? And who knows, maybe it actually is — when such questions of “Fair Use” get as far as an infringement lawsuit, one of the elements courts look at is the degree to which the new work is “transformative” of the original. One suggestive example that Mr. Bugnon may wish to read up on involves an image that, as a conservative, he may already be familiar with. To help readers appreciate the fine details in the image, Mr. Bugnon will, “for a few more days,” host an impressively large version on his website.

Finally, corrections and acknowledgements: Our original story mistakenly cited the awesome Mock, Paper, Scissors as the first to identify the similarity between Heavenly Breitbart and the Assassin’s Creed knight. As it turns out, that comment was posted by DC Martin, proprietress of the equally awesome Pass The Doucheys On the Right-Hand Side, after one of emi>her commenters, “thebewilderness,” actually found what we’re pretty damn sure was the real “FIRST!”, a comment by “greylocks” at yet another awesome progressive blog, Lawyers, Guns, and Money. Lastly, a shout-out to TBogg at Firedoglake, who had the most awesomest re-photoshoop Breitbart contest on the web.

The takeaway: Don’t copy shit from videogames. Gamer geeks are out there. They can’t be bargained with; they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear (that’s the Asperger’s). And they absolutely will not stop, EVER, until you are RIDICULED ON A BLOG.

 
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{ 211 comments }

nounverb911 June 13, 2012 at 11:32 am

Whatever you call it, it's still intellectual property theft.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

What's the funniest bit of this is the dude wasn't even the dude making the money off it. Boy, if only there was some authority one could appeal to….a government, if you will, with a body of laws and the authority to enforce them…to prevent this kind of tragedy of two private capitalists trying to scam other people.

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

And what's the saddest bit is where he describes how long it actually took him to plagiarize someone else's work.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Well, if you take away the Breitbart head, it's actually not a bad copy of the character. Somehow I get the feeling he really DID plop Breitbart's head on it as an "Aw, fuck, that contest is TOMORROW!" move

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:40 pm

That's not entirely correct, is it? Half the money would go to the Breitbart children, but where would the other half go? Since PatriotAssholesDepot is only peddling the "art," they're limited to a percentage of the proceeds, and that's usually around 10%. I suspect the other 40% was going to the "artist."

Shypixel June 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

I object to using the word "intellectual" in any way when discussing Andrew Breitbart.

Serolf_Divad June 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm

was going to suggest that "intellectual fraud" might be a counter-example, but then I realized he wasn't even that. Unlike, oh, say Jonah Goldberg, Breitbart never pretended to be anything but a fraud. No adjectives needed.

Barb June 13, 2012 at 11:32 am

"I was inspired to do a photo “chop” tribute for Andrew."

You should have gone with a pork chop tribute instead.

UnholyMoses June 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

I was thinking more along the lines of "chopping up a line of blow" but yours is better.

Barb June 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Yours is great, thanks Moses.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 11:33 am

"Photo “chopping” is an artform, it’s what I do."

Kinda like audio sampling? Better check with Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer on how that works.

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

As the late, great, James Brown said, "You take the paint off my house it's still the paint off my house."

Like that there. Also.

TanzbodenKoenig June 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I thought he always said "GOOOOD DAMMMMN THAT SOME GOOD COKE!?"

Butch_Wagstaff June 13, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Was that one of his lost tracks?

Opportunisticly_Joe June 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

You could also probably ask The Verve Rolling Stones (ft. The Verve) also too.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

Oh sweet lord.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

He's so fine

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 13, 2012 at 11:34 am

YEAH! And someone dig up Andy Warhol. The Campbell's company is still pissed.

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

"I could never think of anything clever, like soup, or a pencil"

-Homer Simpson

JustPixelz June 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Not exactly. Aptly enough, I am copying this from elsewhere on the intertubes:

Andy Warhol did not originally seek permission from Campbell Soup Company to paint their soup cans. He apparently did not run into problems with the company who saw his usage as amusing and the freedom of expression.

It was only after Warhol's death, when the Andy Warhol Foundation began making licensing agreements with various manufacturers to use Warhol's imagery on products, that there was an official legal agreement between the Andy Warhol Foundation and Campbell Soup Company. Presently, both parties own a stake in the copyright and neither party can make licensing agreements without the other party's permission. Happily, we have a good relationship with them and are involved in various licensing deals with them covering a wide range of products.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=124706

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I heart Cecil Adams. I have a signed copy of TSD.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

I really want to know how many of those atrocities he sold, what their names are, and where they live. Mr Bugnon's theft be damned… because the buyers are who frighten me the most.

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

They were bought in bulk to be given away for the next wingtard "book" that comes out.

YasserArraFeck June 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

On the upside, any cash they squander on bulllshit like this for their mancaves or for above their macmansion great room fireplaces is cash that they don't have to contribute to whatever 'tard campaign they would otherwise support.

Useless 'tard totems suck up 'tard assets

DalePues June 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

I wonder if the stupid asses who bought the four grand "original" can expect a refund?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 11:38 am

Oh no, those things are "collector's items" now.

Schmannnity June 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

Limited (by copyright law) Editions

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:50 am

It's like that Beatles "dead babbies" cover only completely valueless and uncollectible and sucky.

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

Thanks to Pawn Stars, I now realize that there's a sense of ethics in collectibles… or at least there is at Rick Harrison's shop in Vegas.

Speaking of which, "The Old Man" now has his own coin.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:56 am

I saw that episode: Rick bought a 70 pound bar of silver, and had it melted and pressed into coins.

Me, I'm waiting for the Old Man to turn blue from the silver his body absorbs on a daily basis

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:36 pm

*light bulb levitates over head, indicating idea*
Step 1: Draw a bunch of feebly competent pictures [alternative: rescue feebly competent pictures from High School art class from parents' basement]
Step 2: Get some kind of law passed against them, thereby making them collectible items with scarcity value.
Step 3: Profit!!

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Don't move, tessiee. I'm drawin' a bead on that bulb.

fitley June 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Email Sean Hannity @ Foxnews and ask him.

Ruhe June 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

What they can expect is to have their "painting" expertly "completed" by a master painter trained by the late Thomas Kincaid for just another $500.

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:37 pm

*raises hand hesitantly*
Um, I don't think "master painter" is exactly how that's pronounced.

starfanglednut June 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I find this difficult to master paint to.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

I've plopped a few in memory of Breitbart. Can I be sued?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Only if the turd likeness is similar to anyone living or dead.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Did you plop on canvas?

Billmatic June 13, 2012 at 11:35 am

You know call me crazy but I think Breitbart's family isn't hurting too bad considering the ad revenue from his dumb site.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

His wife is Orson Bean's daughter, and has some money of her own and expectations from her father. His parents were wealthy and left him a sizeable fortune when they died. He couldn't *possibly* have spent it all before dying, even with four kids, hookers, and blow. And yes, at his level of wealth, he probably left it all properly set up so that his money keeps making money, even though he's dead. And there's a begathon-fund set up for his kids. So, yeah. They're not hurting anywhere NEAR as bad as the average American family today.

Billmatic June 13, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Sounds terrible though, I bet they had to sell one of their yachts.

DerrickWildcat June 13, 2012 at 11:36 am

Insufficient guile.

dijetlo June 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

The long con is not for every grifter.

DerrickWildcat June 13, 2012 at 11:51 am

Jim Thompson?

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Or bile, if you're talking about the viewers/buyers.

el_donaldo June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

I don't know what's sadder, that Bunion is trying to defend this, or that his defense is that he worked really hard at reworking it – all that effort and the scale and perspective are still that fucked?

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

Well, I mean, here's the thing: art students, as an example, are encouraged to go out and copy paintings they like as exercises for class or their own edification. Now, I can see where, you know, if you're just trying to put together an image you rather like, you'd sit and study a still of the character and try to duplicate it and then improve it as you see fit.

And that's a fair use of an image. The second you use it for anything beyond your own personal enjoyment, you're infringing on a copyright unless you have permission (which is what this douchebag should have asked for). So passing it amongst friends by email, say, is OK, but posting it to a contest? Um, no. He might not be paid, but it does promote his work and leaves the impression that he was the original artist.

As for the scaling and perspective, well, yea, but that's why you copy paintings: to see if you can become better at things like that.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Viggo? Viggo Mortensen, is that YOU?

YasserArraFeck June 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

This sort of work goes really slow when you're working on the old Commodore 64 you found while setting up your bedroom in your Mom's basement.

niblick77 June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

I spew a little of my man seed every time I see that Nordic Brietbart depiction.

CrunchyKnee June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

Aint nothing more frightening than the collective forces of 4Chan and Reddit bringing forth their burly brand of Cheeto dusted keyboard justice. Cower, bitches!

CommieLibunatic June 13, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Do not offer them riches, they care not for your coin. Do not offer them surrender, they care not for victory. Offer them nothing, for they come only to murderlulz.
— On the Dark Eldar, Warhammer 40,000 Anonymous

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 11:37 am

He might as well have said "I am a damn good abstract impressionist watercolor artist."

glamourdammerung June 13, 2012 at 11:39 am

I am unsure how I feel about this article.

dijetlo June 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

Needs moar lesbians.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:53 pm

You can never have too many lesbians.

At least until they all start ogling each other's girlfriends, and then it's over.

Butch_Wagstaff June 13, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Or until you hear one of the them mutter under their breath: "Oh god, it's her…"

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Those are always *fun.*

It's best to run the guest list past the attendees unless you *like* cleaning food off the wall.

emmelemm June 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Or, more buttsechs.

Goonemeritus June 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

“Also noteworthy is the craftsman’s doting devotion to his brainchild — sure, he kept the “pose and look” of the source image”

Are you trying to make a case that diamond incrusting a turd takes no skill? Lets give the guy some credit he started by stealing video game”art” and a picture of Andrew and tried to make this unholy union something sellable. And the best part was his goal he was defrauding Conservatives to fund orphans.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

Y'know, put like that, I almost want to go out and buy one.

"Almost" in this case, to be construed as the increment in nearness between me in NYC and the Grand Canyon, and me being in Sheboygan, WI and the Grand Canyon.

Schmannnity June 13, 2012 at 11:40 am

A signed copy for $3995.00? I guess seance signatures drove up the price.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

It's not easy photoshopping a signature in there

edgydrifter June 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

And at no point in his months of work did he ever step back and say "gosh, this looks like a misshapen lump of shit." That's the difference between craftsmanship and hackery.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:56 pm

That's what I was wondering about. We've all tried (even if only in art class in school) to create something with our hands, whether it's a sketch in charcoal or a model in clay. Unless you're stupid and delusional, at some point you look at your work and perform an honest assessment. Most of us go, OK, I could work on this for the rest of my life, but it's never going to be Great Art, and at that point, we throw in the sketchbook.

How delusional do you have to be NOT to recognize that you are not a talented artist? Because this guy is pretty fucking delusional here.

UnholyMoses June 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

I bet this guy uses Comic Sans as his email font …

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 1:47 pm

All right wing nutz use Comic Sans – nothing they write or say is the least bit funny.

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

Props to CK!

Meanwhile, the saddest part of this entire debacle is that the joker spent months on it.

Months!

I still like the Foghorn Leghorn better…

fitley June 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I have a used copy of Real World Adobe Illustrator that I'd be willing to sell Bugnon. He might be able to pick up his masterpiece creating speed from months to minutes.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:58 pm

How much? What version? What are the hw/sw requirements?

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"I still like the Foghorn Leghorn better… "

What, Ah say, what in tarnation is that-there mess supposed to be?
[pay attention when I'm talkin' to ya, boy!]
Why, I've seen a cow-plop in a feedlot that looks better than them globs'a'paint!
*gesturing with thumb*
[The boy ain't got no talent, is what I'm sayin']

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 1:46 pm

WIN !1!

Ah say – Boy's Momma wasn't a chicken. Musta been a cookoo.

That egg was a bit cracked. So's he…

Terry June 13, 2012 at 11:42 am

"I did not just plop Andrews head on the knight image, I worked on it for months in my spare time, re-creating every belt, rivet, cloth item, leather armor and did much cleanup and rendering to the metal armor. It was totally re-worked. "

Dude, if you worked so hard on it, why didn't you just create an image yourself from scratch? It would have taken less time. Oh, wait. Right. You're a Breitbarter, and thus best at copying and pasting in all it's forms.

UnholyMoses June 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

But only copying and pasting PART of it.

That's what makes him a Notverybrietbartian.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Copied, and heavily edited to be misleading. Sounds about right.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

BTW: Where is my cute RCA dog today??????????????

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:53 am

Everyone's scratching their heads. If they can see them.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 12:01 pm

I know. I am glad I can touch type because without my doggie head…I can't see the screen.

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Is this better or worse than when the avatars get turned into squiggly little monsters?

not that Radio June 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

He got nipped.

proudgrampa June 13, 2012 at 12:51 pm

ouch!

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 2:54 pm

But not, we hope, by Bugs Bunny

emmelemm June 13, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Damn.

Long time ago, I read "War Without Mercy: Race & Power in the Pacific War" by John W. Dower. It was pretty interesting.

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Dower just plain rocks–Embracing Defeat is quite simply one of the best books I've read. And while it's far more sprawling, Cultures of War: Pearl Harbor, Hiroshima, 9-11, Iraq is a hell of a good read.

elviouslyqueer June 13, 2012 at 11:43 am

I’ve learned an important lesson and will be very prudent in selecting my source images in the future.

May I suggest a stock image of a steaming pile of shit? No fuss, no muss!

Estproph June 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

Wait – you mean that that really isn't Breitbart in a suit of armor?

prommie June 13, 2012 at 11:44 am

I can just see Chet sadly shaking his head in disgust.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Yes, and I was playing "While My Guitar Gently Weeps."

Shypixel June 13, 2012 at 11:45 am

To clean up any confusion about the apology, I am providing a translation:

"I am sad that I got caught."

elviouslyqueer June 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

No no. "I'm sorry that you were offended by my thefty stupidity."

Katydid June 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

"My lawyer says I have to write this, please don't sue me."

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Excellent translation. CRE_ature will be by with your Gold Star.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

Gamer geeks are out there. They can’t be bargained with; they can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear (that’s the Asperger’s).

::blushes::

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I think out-dorking a gamer geek is an uncomplishment.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

It's OK. We'll still love you.

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 2:52 pm

If you're blushing, there's still hope for you.

An_Outhouse June 13, 2012 at 11:46 am

speaking of assassin's gate: brotherhood, this is pretty good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKrtbUinWOU

Somebody has way too much time on their hands.

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

It's still not Literal "Total Eclipse of the Heart"…

Gleem McShineys June 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Somebody has way too much time on their hands.

Hold the phone! Too much time, you say?You should see his 10 hour long videos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCNMETN-XnM&fe
Seriously, though, how is that even possible?

fitley June 13, 2012 at 11:47 am

Photochopping as opposed to Photoshopping? An artform? Really. I just thought Photochopping was how a Latino would pronounce Photoshopping. In which case it would be Photochopping mang.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Mentioning Adobe's trademarked product name would be one IP violation too many.

(And may bring attention to whether or not he's using a properly licensed software product.)

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 2:58 pm

It's like Art Spiegelman trying to get people to use the word "commix" to denote Serious Graphic Littachur.

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

I"m sure NPR, Shirley Sherrod and ACORN all bought copies. To shit on.

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm

And Triumph the insult comic dog.

LesBontemps June 13, 2012 at 11:48 am

Is Andrew Breitbart still dead? Good.

neiltheblaze June 13, 2012 at 11:49 am

Ah! Aspergers! That's what it is…..

prommie June 13, 2012 at 11:51 am

What gets me is what was the purpose of the fucking horror in the first place? I mean like, damn, I know that many of you have blown up my avatar image and hung it on your walls above that little make-shift altar, and thats alright, there is nothing wrong with that, but what was the purpose of this Breitbart image? It was to fap to, right? I mean, can it have any other purpose, other than fap-fodder for this cult of fantasizing uber-patriot closet cases?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

How do you know we don't fap to the image of your avatar?

prommie June 13, 2012 at 11:58 am

Well like I said, thats understandable and normal, its completely different from this Breitbart thing.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

This reminds me to buy anothre box of tissues.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 12:03 pm

What, out of gym socks?

prommie June 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Don't forget the candles, you know, for the altar.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I fap to a poster of Domo, thankyouverymuch!

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Arigato?

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm
tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:58 pm

"what was the purpose of the fucking horror in the first place?"

Because all the real pictures of Breitfart look like some sweaty, red-faced drunk at best, and some crazy homeless guy at worst — and while conservaturds are masters of self-deception and other-deception, even *they* can't look at an *actual* picture and think, "Now there's a good man, a noble person who I admire".

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Just as I was reading your comment, your avatar turned into some blonde woman.

ManchuCandidate June 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

This is a fitting legacy for Sir Spittle of Spite. It is the Wingtarded equivalent of letting the coffin hit the ground causing it to break open and letting the body fall into the grave head first.

prommie June 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

The Ayatollah Khomeini-style funeral!

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 11:52 am

So Dok Zoom got his own byline and no longer goes by Wonkette Jr. There's room to move here at Wonkette!!

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 11:54 am

And yet, Junior just got his Twitter account.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….

prommie June 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I think Ima change my name to Castillo.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

There's always been room to move! Or did you mean "other than being banned?"

johnnyzhivago June 13, 2012 at 11:55 am

Needz smaller head!

johnnyzhivago June 13, 2012 at 11:57 am

And I was really looking forward to mounting mine over the Palin section of my library.

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Please do not use the words "mounting" and "Palin" in the same comment ever again. Thank you.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Or "library"

Doktor Zoom June 13, 2012 at 1:35 pm

It would be a row of shelves, covered in ashes.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Congrats again! You are now an Official God of Wonketz!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Oh my farking gawd. http://i.imgur.com/L2n89.jpg
(Yes, it's Bugnon again, swiping other people's stuff. http://starcomplex.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/sh
The man is beyond help. As far as I know, he's not yet peddling inkjet printouts for $4,000, so there's that in his favor.)

I'll start out with question #1: What is O'Queef smoking?

actor212 June 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

He haz a purdy mouf…

johnnyzhivago June 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Is that Rick Santorum in the photo?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Pole?

glamourdammerung June 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Needs moar lens flare.

SexySmurf June 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

That looks nothing like O'Queef. Where's the jar of (unused, expired) condoms and the adult acne?

BaldarTFlagass June 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Also, should have a boat in the background.

Katydid June 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

What is with this guy and his worship of wingtard men? Penis envy? 'Cause Breitbart and O'Keefe were/are two of the biggest dicks around.

DocChaos June 13, 2012 at 11:54 pm

The dude does spend a lot of time on the hair.

bobbert June 13, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I like the magnifying glass that doesn't magnify. It's like a metaphor or something.

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I don't claim to have exhaustive knowledge of detective story fiction, but I'm pretty sure Sherlock Holmes' claim to fame wasn't making up fake evidence.

Jadetiger79 June 13, 2012 at 2:00 pm

He looks like a burnt Muppet.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

As a software developer I must say…yes, we never give up. Steal some of our shit and we will make sure you eat it.

Oh, I stole a lot of shit to do my George W. Bush photochopping. But, that is a different matter, right?

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Did you sell your 'chops, or represent them as your own work in exchange for any benefit?

James Michael Curley June 13, 2012 at 11:59 am

Hey Bugnon (known by many connoisseurs as the tastiest part of an insect) if you admit "I shot the Sheriff" you have an enormous burden of proof that you "didn't shoot no deputy."

prommie June 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Not in Indiana you don't, not any more.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Wouldn't that be "Bugnom"?

fitley June 13, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Photochopping as opposed to Photoshopping? An artform? Really. I just thought Photochopping was how a Latino would pronounce Photoshopping. In which case it would be Photochopping mang.

See more conservative genius here :http://obamacartoon.blogspot.com/2009/09/hannah-giles-and-acorn.html#comment-form

And here: http://thespeechatimeforchoosing.blogspot.com/201

SenileAgitation June 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

I admit, i really like that pic with Joe in clown get up and obamer smoking. Badassery. But he should have spent a few more months on Bam's hair.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:16 pm

And a few more years figuring out the source of the light and depicting it accurately.

Blueb4sunrise June 13, 2012 at 12:02 pm

Okay Fancy Schmancy Doktor, if you know so much, WHERE"S ALL THOSE PEOPLE"S AVATARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Bugnon stole 'em?

Nesnora June 13, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Fuck his reasoning "well, I did this for charity so give me a break". I'm an illustrator and this is the exact reason why you would MAKE SURE you get permission to make a derivative work if something meaningful to you is at stake. Just because you spend a shitload of time doing something illegal doesn't make it justified. If he actually cared, he'd have taken the time to do it right.

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 1:31 pm

*quietly scraps plans for "Meth for Kids" fund-raiser*

freakishlywrong June 13, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Bugnon. Thomas Kincaid for gamer-geek set.

carlgt1 June 13, 2012 at 12:09 pm

50% of the proceeds were to go to Breit's children? So these poor kids are just starving little urchins? I mean daddy being one of the top Repug sellouts wasn't making enough dough?

Mumbletypeg June 13, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Photo “chopping”

Clearly we now know who Michele "Choots-pah" Bachmann has been hanging around with.

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Mr. Bugnon states that he's very sorry and released the following apology:

For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke. My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 12:12 pm

You know, now that I look at the "impressively large version," that's not hair on Breitbart's head, but ramen noodles.

JustPixelz June 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Photo “chopping” is an artform…

Just like scrapbooking. Or sewing patches on a denim jacket. Or decorating your car with stickers. Artforms all.

extreme_left June 14, 2012 at 1:44 am

Fridge magnet placement is an under recognised art form as well… as is art brut nail polishing.

didgen June 13, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Hell's museum, now the endless showing of Breitbart and Kincaid. No wait that's just an art store in Phoenix.

notanncoulter June 13, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Andrew Breitbart was to truth what David Bugnon is to art.
Unrelated.

Guppy June 13, 2012 at 12:20 pm

(50% of the proceeds were to go to the Breitbart children’s fund)

Are the free markets not good enough for Breitbart's own children?

imissopus June 13, 2012 at 1:45 pm

They should have chosen to be born to a father who was not a drunken rage-monkey with a heart condition. Bootstraps, you losers!

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I'm glad 50% of the proceeds will be going to The Breitbart Children's Fund, to pay restitution to all those he molested. I hope Intern Riley can finally have some closure.

ThundercatHo June 13, 2012 at 12:24 pm

When does Bunghole get one of those federal art grants? Perhaps he could "photochop" a mural of rMoney as a human being. Very nice job all around Doktor Zoom and other contributing Wonks.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I think photoshopping Rmoney as Super Mario would be more in his genre.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:25 pm

The more important question is, did anyone plop down $4,999 to pre-order the bad photoshop job on canvas? (guarnateed to last 150 years so your great-grandchildren can also laugh at you)

lisawines June 13, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Dead poopyhead may just be my new favorite phrase. It made me plop with happiness.

qwerty42 June 13, 2012 at 12:39 pm

So with all the careful attention to detail, he didn't correct the obvious problem he had with the arms? He focused on the armor and the sword and the buckles and all, but not the arms? He's – what, a 16 yo boy?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 7:24 pm

The arms are fine, because the Assassin's Creed artist was in fact an artist. Doubling the volume of the head (because you're too lazy to 'shop out the plume on the helmet) is the problem. It also shows Bugnon's profound lack of talent.

qwerty42 June 14, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Well, yes, but the kid puts this massive head on, and then spends his time on the sword, and armor, and making sure there is proper homage to Isildur or Albert of Brandenburg or whomever. And never does anything about the distortion the head has done on the arms.

Callyson June 13, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I started it on the day he died…I did not just plop Andrews head on the knight image, I worked on it for months in my spare time

Self contradictory much?

Slim_Pickins June 13, 2012 at 12:42 pm

"Warrior of Truth"? Does public education produce masses of delusional paranoids or that an outcome of home schooling (any oxymoron if there ever was one)?

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Hey!
I finally figured out what that armor reminds me of: Lobster!
Seriously, doesn't that cheap, fucked-up arm look like a lobster tail?
I could go for some lobster right now.
$: – 9

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Ya know … (licks chops)

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

"Communications theorist Howard Rheingold coined the term “smart mobs” to describe the potential for technology to bring people together in empowering, creative ways"

However, if you are a puffy, booze-ridden, middle-aged slob with a bad mullet, what you probably have is smart *moobs*, and you should wear fake armor so they're less obvious.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Geezus, you're on fire today.

metamarcisf June 13, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Fake or not, it's still worth the $40,000 I paid for it on Ebay.

Generation[redacted] June 13, 2012 at 12:53 pm

So you're the one who outbid me!

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 1:44 pm

^^
^
I just happen to have some top quality diamonds in the trunk of my car.
Now, I *was* gonna sell them to Tiffany's, so that Noot could buy them with taxpayer money…
But because I really like you guys, I'll give you an extra super special good deal on them.

anniegetyerfun June 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

The fact that I do not have the skills to retouch things in Photoshop does not make this any less laughable.

Antispandex June 13, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Set of post cards, 9.95$. Tacky signed print, 3999.95$. Admitting, "I did not just plop Andrews head on the knight image, I worked on it for months in my spare time…", PRICELESS!

RavenRant June 13, 2012 at 1:10 pm

You MUST click on the Tbogg link. You will thank me.

randcoolcatdaddy June 13, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well, this is good news for that tribute portrait of John McCain I'm working on that mashes him up with Resident Evil.

fuflans June 13, 2012 at 1:16 pm

where is our famousest chet?

tessiee June 13, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"proceeds were to go to the Breitbart children’s fund"

OK, *surely* he means a fund for the persecuted and marginalized children of wealthy white Christians…
*Surely* this albino slug had no children of his own, and was, in fact, incapable of reproduction…
Even knowing next to nothing about Breitbart, look at his picture (if you can make yourself);
*cues song, "Have you Heard About the Lonesome Loser?"*
if there was *ever* a middle-aged loser guy who went straight home after work, ate chinese food (not even good chinese food; the crap from Panda Express that's so greasy it makes the carton transparent) out of the take-out carton while watching reruns in stained underwear, and then did the exact same thing the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that… Not only was he single and childless, he didn't have any friends of either sex, and his co-workers could barely stand him.

imissopus June 13, 2012 at 1:41 pm

No, Breitbart actually had four kids, and the oldest was only eleven or twelve.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm

He's married to the daughter of Orson Bean, nutbag extraordinaire, and has four children with her. Er, was. Had.

I pity those children. They haven't a *prayer* of being normal.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

They do now.

MittBorg June 14, 2012 at 7:55 pm

That he's popped his clogs, you mean? But their only living grandparent is a nutbag, and their mother's fairly certainly a nutbag. Dare one hope that Teh Nutbaggitude strikes only X times per family and has worn out its limits?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 10:32 pm

It's a lifestyle choice, not a congenital defect.

MittBorg June 13, 2012 at 1:38 pm

In PUBLIC! Wiv real tears and much pelting of mockage.

Tundra Grifter June 13, 2012 at 1:48 pm

That's not Art!

He isn't holding a burning copy of the Constitution!

(Yes, I do think I used this before – couldn't resist.)

Chet Kincaid June 13, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Thanks for the shout-out, Dok!

owhatever June 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I cannot snark this. It snarks itself to the max, from the first pencil sketch he didn't make to the non-apology. Not an artist, but a thief an a liar and a crook.

keinsignal June 13, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"Talent borrows, genius steals."
-me

ttommyunger June 13, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I'm always amazed at the sheer volume of words required for a Rightard to say: "Shit, I got caught!"

keinsignal June 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Seeing these side by side makes me want to think of them as a before and after – Breitbart all removing his bloated albino head and revealing the empty metal canister inside…

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Almost perfect – it only lacks the glowing red eyes.

american__mutt June 13, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Brietfart is dead.

gurukalehuru June 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I did not just plop Andrews head on the knight image, I worked on it for months in my spare time, re-creating every belt, rivet, cloth item, leather armor and did much cleanup and rendering to the metal armor

Gay.

iburl June 13, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Breitbart photochop contest!

extreme_left June 14, 2012 at 1:38 am

The 'apology' now moves this 'piece' into the realm of 'Art'. Surrealist multi-media comes to mind.

outragedcitizen June 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Did Bugnon miss the fact that Breathehard was an asshole?

Doktor Zoom June 14, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Worth noting: A pretty good parody of this travesty. Strangely enough, Mike Flugennock, the artist, appears not to have used any photo-manipulation software at all in producing it.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 7:17 pm

OK, I'm totally stealing this from another poster on another board, but damned if I can find it to give credit:

"Those aren't clouds – his pants are on fire."

Biel_ze_Bubba June 14, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Perhaps he originally had someone else's noggin in mind, before BriteFart's death presented a better commercial prospect.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Well, in this Dallas summer I wear those half sock things.

Jus_Wonderin June 13, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I must call my Scentsy representative. Though, at Fiesta they do sell those Madonna and Child candles.

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