SEX MACHINES  8:53 pm June 11, 2012

Comment Of The Day: Libertarian Sexts Edition

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Ron Paul will fuck your face offWhat is liberty? Where does the freedom to eat your neighbor’s cat intersect with, er, your neighbor’s cat? No one can ever know. It is ineffable and unknowable, like fuckin’ God, man!

But we can know about commenter Nesnora’s date with a Libertarian, in response to today’s brilliant and wonderful and insightful and just plain fuckin’ terrific post What We Learned From The Nice Libertarian Fellows At 1:30 In The Morning In A Detroit Hotel Bar, and that is that dating a Libertarian has one side effect. Pure Fear.

Congratulate Nesnora, everyone, and then be sure to sidle up and cop a feel.

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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Barb June 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Congrats Nesnora! You made a great comment.

I am just here for the beer.

I was going to ask "who do I have to blow around here to get comment of the day?" Feel free to answer below, lol.

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I think I'm in charge of that.

MadBrahms June 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

You may have to get the flaccid commentariat off in "other ways".

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Me, strangely enough,.

rocktonsam June 11, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I'd rather cuddle

Barb June 11, 2012 at 10:46 pm

OMG Ya'll had better be watching the hockey game. LA is about to get Lord Stanley's Cup, the greatest trophy in sports.

After my team choked, I had to pick a new favorite team. I picked the LA Kings because Rebecca lives there and I knew they wouldn't let me down. I will be a Kings fan for life now. I will never be a Raiders fan though, lol.

BerkeleyBear June 11, 2012 at 10:59 pm

If you do become a Kings fan for life, that will make you more loyal than 99+ percent of the people at the arena tonight. I grew up in LA, followed the Kings when they wore the Jerry Buss purple and gold (but not avidly, because why would you when the Lakers were contending year in and year out), hard my heart broken by Robitaille, Gretzky et al, then stopped caring at all with the lockout and living in a non NHL town.

Now though, I've seen Quick win the Conn Smythe and Dustin Brown (who looks like a gap toothed teenager) kiss the Cup, and I actually am getting goose bumps. It'll pass, I'm sure.

Barb June 11, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Hey Berkeley! I went back to the Farmer' Market and they had tons of bi-colored corn, 12 for a dollar. I made tons of freezer bags of corn.

My hands are sore from applauding the Kings tonight. I'm going to let the hype die down and the prices drop before I buy some Kings jerseys and t-shirts.

I can't wait for football season. I am a Chargers fan.

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 9:51 am

The Raiders are back in Oakland where they belong.

Mojopo June 12, 2012 at 10:05 am

Barb. Barb, Barb, Barb. The Devils deserved to lose, but your favorite team for life should be my Blackhawks. They were the first NHL team to march in the Pride Parade with the Stanley Cup.

Baconzgood June 12, 2012 at 8:43 am

I just wanted to touch your boobs but well….OK.

Chet Kincaid June 12, 2012 at 9:49 am

Hey, we fellate you with accolades and scores of upfists. A "Comment Of The Day" would be beneath you!

emmelemm June 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Yeah, I knew that one was a winner!

I'm curious as to the "other ways" of getting him off that don't involve an actual hard-on. OK, I'm really not that curious.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Yeah, srsly, you probly don't want to know. Or not enough to hang around with him, anyway.

weejee June 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Likely the appropriate units of measure are angstroms.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

And tweezers and nanotubes might be required.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Augusten Burroughs refers to it as "charity work".

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 6:23 am

I *AM* slightly curious, but the phrase "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter" serves as sufficient warning, I think…

savethispatient June 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I'd imagine it involves telling him that you'd never even touch him with a barge pole, as his happiness is not part of your rational egoism.

emmelemm June 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

{golf clap}

scvirginia June 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I'm guessing you apply just the correct amount of current to his tin-foil hat?

emmelemm June 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

{double golf clap}

nonbeliever7 June 12, 2012 at 9:28 pm


Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 12:16 am

I imagine it'd include a graphic storytelling of the misery of what happened in the Superdome during Katrina or something equivalent.

Callyson June 12, 2012 at 1:02 am

Hold a seance and bring Ayn Rand back to life?

Steverino247 June 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Nesnora has accurately described the Libertarian Male. Avoid them at all costs!

Edit: And how happy I am that my 3,600th comment insulted Libertarians. They're the sociopathic and unknowingly socially inept wing of the Republican party.

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Nesnora has also represented dignified Brown University liberal studentry admirably. Our editress Kirsten and Chris Hayes and I are with you, sister.

Incidentally, I have concluded that "libertarian" is just a pretentious synonym for "asshole."

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

They're like republicans who have no friends.

Antispandex June 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Yes, I believe the equation is;

TS (Turrets Syndrome) > I.Q. = L (Libertarian) + RPV (Ron Paul Voter)

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

COTD #2!

Lazy Media June 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I went to an engineering school, so I know a LOT of Libertarians, and while it is not true that all Libertarians are sociopathic dicks, it is nearly universally true that sociopathic dicks are Libertarians.

MadBrahms June 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Wow. Men's Rights Advocate, $10.

Nick June 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

That guy then went home and wrote a lengthy blog tirade about how uppity women are, illustrated with pictures of Disney princes. After which he purchased a book on "pickup" by acclaimed literary genius "Mystery", a set of goggles, and some alligator leather pants.

justkillmenow June 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Sitting here in Macroeconomics class trying not to laugh at the thought of the Libertarian in the class not having boners. Yes. I'm bored.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Surfing teh wonkette in class? You are bold!

Doktor Zoom June 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Yeah, most people wait until they're at work.

Haha, just kidding. Who has a jerb anymore!

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:32 am

Yah, rly dood.

UW8316154 June 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

Good lord, how could IS-LM curves possibly be boring??

mull_man June 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm

How? Read Patinkin's Money, Interest and Prices and find out. I nearly put my eyes out so I wouldn't have to finish that book.

justkillmenow June 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Good Lord. He just posted a map of the price variance of cocain around the world.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

See — he got your attention.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Hey, man, it was depressing enough reading that shit the first time.

Libertarian men. NEVER give them your REAL address/phone #/email/whatever.

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 6:29 am

I must confess, they make a convincing argument for Stand Your Ground laws (just not in the way they think they do…)

CivicHoliday June 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

My dick may not be hard, but my head sure is. (What with it being filled with rocks and all…)

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Rock salt and nails.

Dashboard Buddha June 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

So, libertarians are 12 year old boys?

weejee June 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Intellectually yes, but they can legally breed and vote. Perhaps with some difficulty with the former absent case loads of Viagra™.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Well … he did volunteer that he required getting off in various ways that didn't involve him getting hard. "I got a softie for you" just doesn't sound that exciting, does it?

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Z, I don't know all that much about the inner workings of male anatomy, but isn't a hard on a prerequisite for an orgasm?

Dashboard Buddha June 11, 2012 at 10:10 pm

No. Although, is Mythbusters still on? That might make a great question for them.

I ain't watching though.

Fairtackle June 12, 2012 at 1:13 am

Neither does "I'm going to dry hump your face off".

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 1:19 am

Most unappetizing proposition.

sharethegrief June 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Time flies. Back in the day, it was considered impolite to bring up how I could get my blind date off in a different way until we had known each other atleast an hour.

johnnyzhivago June 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Libertarians: Nazis with access to computers!

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

The Nazis did have computers: the punch card kind, courtesy of IBM.

johnnyzhivago June 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

And others as well… If you ever see the "real" Untergang "Downfall" – there is a reference in the beginning to "Zoo Bunker". The Germans actually developed a computerized radar tracking and targeting system, which was deployed in massive "bunkers" – more like 10 story buildings in Berlin and other cities. A lot of technology from WW-II on both sides has been forgotten about! :)

But we make heroes out of fighters – not the scientists and engineers who played maybe a decisive role…. Enigma, etc….

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

That's why the gods gave us the Hitler Channel, I mean the History Channel.

Max Hasting's recent tome, “Inferno: The World at War, 1939-1945” (which I highly recommend) delves a bit into all the needless and obscene slave labor-created construction projects of those years. Has any other nation ever been in such a rush to construct their own destruction?

Steverino247 June 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

The Confederate States of America, but then, they were actually just states in rebellion and not a real country.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Very interesting, johnny. Where can I find more information?

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Adam Tooze's 2006 book "The Wages of Destruction" is an extremely informative book about the economics and infrastructure of the Nazi regime. Tooze is a good writer, too.

johnnyzhivago June 11, 2012 at 10:12 pm
Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 12:20 am

That's not fair. The libertarians are far more self-centered.

extreme_left June 12, 2012 at 2:31 am

.. the Storm troopers of retardation.

MaxUdargo June 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

This supports my tentative theory that all conservatives are just assholes who know they're assholes, but think it's cute, and just love to annoy everybody by pissing on anything anybody might still care about in what Henley so rightly called "this graceless age."

Do I still need a drink? Even after so many?

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

And not only are they assholes they're incredibly over-sensitive and whiny assholes when you start pointing out how stupid their beliefs are and how full of shit they are.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:34 am

Do you still *care* about the fact that they're annoying assholes? If so, keep drinking till the feeling goes away, or you pass out, whichever comes first.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Nesnora's comment for the win! Damn, I could have told you that the moment she posted it.

"Waiter, the ego-check please!"

Joshua Norton June 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

"other ways" of getting him off

Only if it involves rope, duct tape and possibly auto-asphyxiation.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

(looks through manual)

I believe we can accommodate you.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:00 pm

It's right on page 69.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Page 69 is Sex: Oral, techniques, hon.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:51 pm


the_problem_child June 11, 2012 at 10:48 pm

And dead penguins.

Clankie June 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

At first, the libertarian party appealed to me, because I hate Republicans, and find Democrats to be mainly a bunch of spineless cowards concerned more with getting elected than with actual leadership. After learning a bit more about libertarian ideology, I realized that most of it is rather sociopathic. I think that this is structural in nature, as a core concept in their value system is that money is a direct representation of freedom, and while I am no Buddhist, that seems incredibly flawed to me. Money is nice and all, and having more of it definitely allows you to buy more material things, but to enslave yourself to anything cannot make you free. As someone who has both radically progressive politics and a personal philosophy that emphasizes a peaceful and technologically advanced anarchy as man's ideal evolutionary state, I felt that their (libertarians') entire outlook on things was both childish and diminishing to what I feel to be the higher calling of humanity. However, as time passes, I think that they will be the Coyote to our Roadrunner, endlessly facilitating their own downfall, while merely creating a passing distraction on our path to the future.

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

You talk good, Clankie.

Making an idol or fetish of "liberty" is childish and selfish. "It's not fair" is the slogan of the Oedipal phase, where libertarians are eternally stalled. They're going to make Mom and Dad SO UPSET and it will totally show them for being such control freaks.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

You talk purty good yo' own dam self, sir.

And yet that childish cry for fairness drives all of us who look for a better tomorrow, does it not?

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm

It's like an asymptote. You never get there. We may never achieve a truly just society, but we grow as people by striving for it.

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Like I said before: "Libertarian" is just a pretentious synonym for "asymptote."

Clankie June 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Thanks. Too me, the weirdest thing about the whole thing is that nobody really calls them on it in the public sphere. I mean, I know we have a lazy media here, but to hear these conservative/libertarian talking heads prattle on what is ostensibly informative programming about how Big Corporations can give us the freedom that Big Government can't and everything will be perfect here if we could just get rid of Social Security, Medicare, the EPA, and whatnot; I think it is a real comment on the lack of integrity in our media that these people are even treated as experts on anything. The entire libertarian political and economic philosophy, much like the corporate colonialism being paraded about as 'globalization', only holds water if you have no regard for huge volumes of historic empirical evidence. That anyone anywhere can talk about how selling water rights to American companies is great for the local economy of South American countries is exactly as ridiculous as saying that eliminating the minimum wage law or the income tax would increase our national economy. It makes sense, but only if you ignore all the incredibly vast wealth of evidence that says it doesn't. Ugh, I do go on, but I live in Colorado, and the libertarians are actually thick as thieves out here. Not as many of them as their are Holy Christo-American Empire republicans, though…

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm

"Corporate Colonialism being paraded about as 'globalization'."
I like that. First they stake out their real estate, then they expand their territories, then they assimilate the governments so they can do whatever they want (not sure why they have a propensity to do that, since it's eventually self-defeating and therefore a horrible business model), and eventually they assert total crushing control over their subjects through wage slavery .

Foxconn is the Company Town, they control when their employees can come and go, not sure if they print actual company scrip, or just pay so little that it doesn't matter.

emmelemm June 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I believe they have dorms and cafeterias at the FoxConn complex, so it really IS the company town.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

And have you found any of our politicos even somewhat responsive to these concepts?

Clankie June 11, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Personally, I generally vote for the Democratic candidate, but it is mostly because Republicans stand for literally everything I am against. Ideally I would like to see our entire legislative system rebuilt as a parliamentary multiparty system where each party is allotted an amount of votes equal to their percentage, but only if the South secedes. At which point I would either start my own party or just go Green, if they even exist anymore. Unfortunately, I do not see the capacity for change coming from either the Democratic or Republican party, if anything is going to actually stop this nation from collapsing into a complete feudalistic police state, it will have to be a complete dismantling and rebuilding of our political process, through, you know, various means.

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

I, too, would welcome a Parliamentary, Funkadelic form of government in America.

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:06 pm

We gotta turn this mutha out.

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 6:37 am

Don't be a jive turkey.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 6:58 am


"Free Your Mind and Yo Ass will follow!"

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Ideally I would like to see our entire legislative system rebuilt as a parliamentary multiparty system where each party is allotted an amount of votes equal to their percentage

Agitate state legislatures to abandon the current single-member, plurality voting districts for House (et al) elections in favor of proportional representation and/or ranked preference voting. This would fix the problem of "majority" parties representing only a minority of declared voters.Repeal the Seventeenth Amendment, ensuring the apportioned House has the strongest undisputed claim to democratic legitimacy. The real political power of the House and its Speaker will grow as a result. The end result will probably look a bit like France.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:38 pm

Thank you for your response. I don't see that there is a sufficient number of people who have reached a tipping point for the kind of revolutionary change you envision, but perhaps you could enlighten me further. Is there a significant number of people who think like you do, share your concepts of the kind of change needed?

Thanks for any response.

Clankie June 11, 2012 at 11:32 pm

It is true that there are not yet enough revolutionaries for a revolution, but many of the more reactionary members of American politics further my long term goals even as they may put me at a temporary disadvantage. Look at Scott Walker, who has already done so much damage to Wisconsin, and will continue to do so much more. While I wish that many Americans could reach a 'teachable moment' in regards to progressive politics without losing something of theirs personally, such as their health insurance, or their rights as employees, that unfortunately does not seem to be the case. As I think that man is overall good, or at least not malevolent, in nature, I do not let these short term setbacks discourage me. I believe in the technological singularity theory that is advocated by Ray Kurtzweil, which states that as technological advancement occurs at an exponential growth rate, we will soon reach a point where the rate of advancement appears to be near infinite. Furthermore, I see the same exponential rate of advancement in the development of the overall global social structure, which would appear to all of the reactionaries out there as an exponential rate of decay. I think that as the 'olds' die off, and stop teaching the more gullible minds of the world their failed theories, we will see a very rapid rise in various socially progressive styles of thinking and politics. While I doubt that humanity will evolve to the point of being capable of living in an anarchistic utopia during my lifetime, I doubt very much that the current United States power hierarchy will outlive me. I've probably got at least 30 years as a biot and infinity as an upgradable collection of information, whereas I doubt the US Government in its current form can keep it up for another 20 years. Should we go down the path our corporate overseers would like, and go fullblown China as far as social control, human rights, and environmental protections are concerned; well, I live near the Rocky Mountains and, like any good boy scout, have some survivalist training. I think that the odds are possibly a little in their favor, but I am a patient man, and I do not think humans tolerate restrictive rule very well.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:15 pm

They are idealogues, willing to sacrifice the environment, the education of our children, civil rights, anything really, to adhere to a fundamentally flawed and immoral world view.

I had a boss who was a libertarian. We worked on a boat, taking tourists to an island. There was a woman on the island who gave out cookies to the children. Another woman who worked there suggested we make sure there were no peanut butter cookies in case of allergies. My boss started ranting about "personal responsibility", I guess meaning that it was the parents job to make sure there kids had no peanut butter cookies. He was literally willing to have a child go into anaphylactic shock, and quite possibly die, on our boat for the sake of his ideology, not even seeing the absurdity of this position.

Clankie June 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

That sounds about right.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 10:40 pm

For people who love talking about "responsibility," libertarians have absolutely no grasp of "liability."

PhilippePetain June 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm

That's the problem, or one of them at least; Libertarian dogma assumes perfect knowledge on the part of the parties involved in every transaction, and to them, everything is a monetary transaction.

It's an absurd, almost religious notion amongst them.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I wonder if his attitude would have been different had *he* been personally affected? I find a dose of real-life hardship and suffering tends to convert these maroons tout-suite.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:50 pm

So true.

Negropolis June 12, 2012 at 1:33 am

Money/power = freedom seems to be more of a authoritarian conservative thing. What defines libertarianism, for me, is an intense, personal, and all-consuming selfishness.

It's funny, because when it comes to issues of privacy, I'm very libertarian. What I have never been able to get behind is there utter lack of compassion when it comes to society. Even many of the creatures that became us had a level of social intelligence, and compassion above that of libertarians.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Why should a Libertarian ask for help with his "hard" on?

He should damn well pull it up by his own bootstraps.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm


AddHomonym June 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Dude's got game.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Solo game

extreme_left June 12, 2012 at 2:01 am

oh yeah.. he knows all the ladies.. they just don't know it.

deanbooth June 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I enjoyed reading that comment just a few minutes ago, so I feel like I can bask a bit in Nesnora's glory.

TanzbodenKoenig June 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

And you wonder why that guy had to depend on blind dates, I'm surprised the ladies aren't breaking his door down

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 11:56 pm

If they were, it would be as part of a necktie mob, if you get my drift.

Generation[redacted] June 12, 2012 at 11:58 am

Who keeps setting him up on blind dates? Someone who hates women, I bet.

anniegetyerfun June 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

So, do you think he's still single? I've been on the look out for a flaccid nutjob for weeks now.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Er … why? I mean, what on earth are you planning to *do* with it?

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 10:41 pm


MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Should we ask for bones now for our compost heap? Too soon?

fuflans June 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

this is my fav anniegetyourfun avatar.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

"you can just get me off in a different way"

What, like dressing in a penguin costume and playing dead?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

You know, that thought cannot be un-thought, either, you know. You know?

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I figured "you can just get me off in a different way" meant something along the lines of "The Silence of the Lambs".

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 2:03 am

"It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets Ron Paul again!"

Generation[redacted] June 12, 2012 at 12:00 pm

(Shouted at the caucus) "Put the fucking straw poll in the basket!"

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm

As if anyone that selfish would be a generous lover.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 12:06 am

Yeah, you'll notice that they didn't seem to be any concern about getting HER off using some sort of bonerless method. It's not that it's difficult or anything; it's just that it wasn't his concern when explaining that he can't get it up.

valthemus June 12, 2012 at 2:08 am

"… he laughed and replied, 'Don't worry, you can make it up to me later.' with a creepy wink."


Monsieur_Grumpe June 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I can't believe you let this one get away Ms Nesnora!
What I mean is that you should have called the FBI, there has got to be a wanted poster somewhere that features this piece of shit posing as a human.

Sharkey June 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"I went on a date with a Libertarian and all I got was this lousy Wonkette Comment Of The Day." -Nesnora

Actually that's pretty cool! Probably doesn't fully make up for the psychological scarring, but it's a start, amirite?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

We live for these trophies, right?

Doktor Zoom June 11, 2012 at 11:12 pm

17,000 pageviews, beeyotches!

Me, a linkwhore? Never!

Maybe a little.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Hot noogies, dood. Srsly, congrats. You did good.

Of course, most of those are probably heartbroken, sobbing Breitards, but hey. Collateral damage, right?

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I wonder if that blind date ever thinks back at that night now in his padded cell and kicks himself for being such a jerkwad? More probably, the ECT treatments have wiped that memory out entirely. You screwed the pooch big time, dude.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Mike, I don't think you should use that phrase in connection with our, um, star of today's comment competition. Because if there's anyone who probably literally HAS screwed the pooch, it's likely to be him, dude.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

There was obviously no possibility of intimacies (yuck!), so my use of "screw" can only mean one thing in this context. But I almost always catch some sort of hell by posting while still somewhat sober, and I am in your debt for reminding me to always have an ice cooler filled with chilled brews at hand, or better yet shackled to my ankle.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Dude. We're talking Republicans. There's *always* a possibility of intimacies, regardless of consent. (Ew, I think I just grossed myself out.)

And on that note, prosit.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Dude. We're talking Republicans. There's *always* a possibility of intimacies, regardless of consent. (Ew, I think I just grossed myself out.

I guess that explains the whole Ayn Rand "rape by engraved invitation" creepiness.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 10:56 pm


randcoolcatdaddy June 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I wouldn't be too hard on this Libertarian douchebag. Reading "Atlas Shrugged" all the way through without the proper medication can do strange things to you…

Tommmcattt June 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I am not at all bitter about never getting COTD. Ever. Not even after 8 years of commenting. Not. Bitter. It's like you people expect me to be funny or something.

'Gratz Nestora. Send some love to the hoi polloi now that you are a star.

Monsieur_Grumpe June 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Awwwwww. You're my favorite Mr Catt and my tastes are impeccable except for a mild affinity for fart jokes.

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Mild affinity? I say if it's not farty, it's not funny.

Tommmcattt June 12, 2012 at 12:24 am

Dude, didn't you get the memo? ALL FARTS ALL THE TIME.

I think it is a holdover rule from the days of Layne.

Thanks for the good word, by the way…

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:30 pm

(Hugs the Tommmcattt) Just because you didn't get it yet doesn't mean you won't. Also too what Monsieur_Grumpe said. Too.

Tommmcattt June 12, 2012 at 12:23 am

Oh, don't worry about me. I'm just attention whoring. Besides, there is a certian cache to being the Bob hope of Wonkette. Gives me somethng to complain about.

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Wonkette Quote of the Day is an admirable achievement, but I don't know if going through what you did in order to achieve it is worth it. Kinda like Andy Dufresne crawling through the 500-foot sewer pipe to freedom. Ew!

sbj1964 June 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Libtards are strange people Dr.Paul "strangelove' is a fine example.

spinozasgod June 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

so that's who John Galt is…..what a an anti-climax…..

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

Including your erection, apparently.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Libertarians are special people… as in special combination of arrogance, selfishness, lack of any self awareness, social ineptness and being blessed with a world class case of Dunning Kreuger comes together in one dickbag of a package.

BelleSC June 12, 2012 at 7:41 am

You know my cousins!

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

I guess it goes without saying that the date did not progress to the point where you got the offer to "fuck your face off?"

"I think I just said 'I got to go.'" = TIME'S UP!

cheetojeebus June 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

The libertarian guy just doesn't give a shit about your beliefs.
ooh look he can't get a hard on.
the libertarian guy is wearing dockers. libertarian guy doesn't give a shit.
Oh look, he's going home alone again!
What a dumb ass.
Oooh he's eating a snake through a hole in the bathroom wall. yuck. libertarian guy doesn't give a shit.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm


Tundra Grifter June 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

So, Nesnora, how did your second date with him go?

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

They're married now, dinja hear?

Sharkey June 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm

Grandkids on the way.

Tundra Grifter June 12, 2012 at 1:09 pm
poorgradstudent June 11, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I'm glad you made it out of that encounter unscathed. But at least you were rewarded for it!

A friend of mine has a bona fide, full-Paultard Libertarian co-worker, who'll seize any excuse to go on about how government regulations actually help corporations, how police and firefighters' unions have become too powerful, how people rely too much on government, etc. Then a few months back the co-worker was bragging about a letter he wrote to the city government about how nobody did anything about the college kids who moved next door to his place and threw a loud party a couple of times – even though he himself never called the cops about a noise violation.

Needless to say, my friend didn't point out the teeny, tiny inconsistency there out of fear of just encouraging him to rant further.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:29 pm

The ones I hate are the ones with government jobs. I worked for the State of Washington until 1997 and knew a couple of Libertarian types who were completely insufferable. When I left for the private sector I told the company I was working for about one of them, who, although he was a real asshole, really knew a lot about e-mail systems, and they tried to recruit him as an engineer. No luck.

Flash forward 10 years, the state agency I worked at outsourced their e-mail to Google and Mr. Libertarian dude got his ass laid off. He was still working for the state and I realized that it was because he was a fucking loser. He couldn't have hacked the pace in the private sector.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:02 am

Most of the ones I know seem to have some mental issues. Anger management, impulse control. They're like teenagers who have never quite made it past a certain stage in their development.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 10:01 pm

I was a teenage Libertarian. My path to a cure started when I was bitching about how lazy people on welfare were, this at the tender age of 18, and my old man told me that I was full of shit since he was paying for my room and board at college and my tuition. What I did next completely disqualified me from being a Libertarian a Republican or any kind of conservative for the rest of my life, I realized that I was full of shit and went out and got a job and started paying for school myself. The correct Libertarian/Republican/Conservative response would have been to keep my mouth shut around the old man and leach off him for three or four more years.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 10:15 pm

For some obscure reason, that reminds me of the Henny Youngman joke, "I'd like to thank my father for coming." (snare drum badaboom)

For some even more obscure reason, it also reminds of the day over thirty years ago, when I was down and out and was having a hard time finding a good job and was playing the full whiny monte, and my African-American wife looked me straight in the eye and in the nicest way said, "Look, you're a young white guy in the prime of your life — what the hell do you have to complain about?"

A nanosecond later, I awoke in a different dimension. And to this day, I blame Einstein for that introduction to adulthood. But that's another story.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I like your wife. Hella smart lady.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 10:58 pm

She's one in a bajillion.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:43 am

Isn't it nice to have a partner who is your best friend and soulmate?

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:10 pm

A nanosecond later, I awoke in a different dimension. And to this day, I blame Einstein for that introduction to adulthood. But that's another story.

Good thing it was Einstein and not Erwin Schrödinger. Schrödinger would have sent you to another dimension and killed your cat too.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 11:41 pm

LOL Loved your original comment. And my cat's been dead for years. He had a good long life, no thanks to That Guy From Ulm Who Must Not Be Named.

Blueb4sunrise June 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm

This sounds like the scene from The Facebook movie where Facebook Dude is ridiculing his [soon to be ex] girlfriend for needing to study at BC.

Shypixel June 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Sounds like a keeper. Gotta respect a man willing to work around his flaccidity.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm

today’s brilliant and wonderful and insightful and just plain fuckin’ terrific post

Yes, and who wrote that one again?

Glad to see you finally have your role in the proper perspective, O Wise and Benevolent Editrix.

Antispandex June 11, 2012 at 10:15 pm

“ I just…left. I couldn’t handle it all at once. I think I just said “I got to go.” and just fucking walked out. “

Which is a well known lesbian code, that any knowledgable Libertarian male at once translates as, " What a cunt, she must be a carpet muncher ". It's also why we have no fear that the movement will survive…because, you know, Darwinism.

chascates June 11, 2012 at 10:16 pm

So much for the idea that libertarians are just republicans who smoke pot. They're way crazier.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

See, now, you and I know that, but …

OddAssCity June 11, 2012 at 10:22 pm

This is the guy who finances all the anti-tax, anti-government except when it's locking people up ballot measures in Oregon: This is not to be missed. But I've been away from Wonkette for a long time, so maybe he's been featured here before.

emmelemm June 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

He must be best friends with Tim Eyman.

valthemus June 11, 2012 at 10:22 pm

"… a coked-out, over-tan ken doll riding a leaking waverunner while laughing an swinging a dead cat by the tail, screaming 'NO TAXES'."

Another tasty image begging to be brought to life on canvass. No acrylics here… definitely go for the oil paints.

Sharkey June 11, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Or just go Full Photoshop.

Steverino247 June 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Whenever I note a bunch of Paultards filling up a comment thread someplace, I always chime in about how "Dr. Paul" uses their contributions to pay his family six figure incomes to be his campaign workers in a Congressional district he can't lose. They shut up really quickly after that for some reason.

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Wonky libertarian nerds shut up? Or did you just leave the site before they could post their 20 paragraph responses on why it's perfectly acceptable (according to libertarian scripture) for Dr.EyeWigs to turn his family into a bunch of Cadillac drivin' Welfare Queens?

Veritas78 June 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Libertarian = Aspergers. Prove me wrong!

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Aspergers implies a high level of skill in some area. Though I guess maybe pot-growing/meth labs might count.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Yeah, most Libertarian types are fuckups with a bad case of Dunning-Krueger. Notable examples are Nick "Fonzie of Freedom" Gillespie, the editor of Reason magazine who has a PhD in English from a state university and who doesn't have the skills to be night manager at a McDonalds, Megan McArdle (dig up McArdle's rant from the Atlantic about how it was the Post Office's fault that she mailed her wedding invitations late, it's a hoot) and anyone who is working at the Ayn Rand institute. The only thing that most Libertarians are skilled at is sucking off the rich and affecting an entirely undeserved, by any objective metric, air of superiority.

Doktor Zoom June 11, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Some of us with PhD's in English from state universities just might take exception to your insinuation, good sir.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:50 pm

Hey, I'm OK with the PhD from a state school as long as you don't then turn around and spend a lot of time writing about how fucked up and parasitic the government is, and, while doing so, dress like an aging rent boy.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm

You might also be able to tell, from my tendency to write run-on sentences (and abuse of the parenthetical phrase) that I do not have a degree in English, PhD or otherwise, from a state university.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I think that's unfair. Not everyone who has Asperger's syndrome is a complete asswipe.

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Is this like when we were supposed to prove that Glenn Beck didn't rape and kill and rape again that young girl? Cuz it's impossible to prove he didn't do that.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 12:10 am

I still don't understand why he won't deny it.

MosesInvests June 11, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Aspies are usually quite aware that they're socially inept, and most make at least a minimal effort to try to learn to read social cues that come naturally to the rest of us. Glibertarians are blissfully unaware that they're complete assholes.

Doktor Zoom June 12, 2012 at 12:44 am

Almost…it's more the case that Libertarians are quite sure that the only reason others see them as assholes is that the others are sheeple who are too stupid to think for themselves and see the obvious genius of libertarianism.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 10:27 pm

But this seems to imply that Libertarians are pretty much solely motivated by spite, just like Republicans. But that can not be since that was simply mean Libertarians were Republicans trying to "re-brand" after the many, many failures of the Republican party and all the Libertarians I have had the "pleasure" of meeting insist otherwise (in between bragging about how ethics are for the proles).

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Three kinds of libertarians I can off-handedly recall meeting:

A) the hippyish ones you never hear about in the press, and who prefer to keep it that way. They more about yurts than the Mongols ever did;

B) the go-getter small business owner/wannabe con artist who doesn't like paying property taxes nor for the lesser races' schooling;

C) the seemingly and show-offy wealthy ones, invariably involved in real estate development of some sort, own the biggest and ugliest McMansions in town, and who are usually secretly heavily in debt because of their own bad business decisions, but it's all the fault of the commie liberals, and anyway they have cronies in local and state politics who do them favors.

I'm sure I've met others of the species, but generally they're a forgettable lot. It's the ones on the level of the Koch's and the Art Popes you really gotta watch out for. They're in it for the long haul and they've got the money and influence to get them there.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:06 am


I do bleev you hit that nail right on the head.

ttommyunger June 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I always suspected women had a rough time of it, but this story…..hard to wrap my head around that much assholery.

subsum June 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Can't get a hard-on… typical of these fuckers. The fact that their dicks don't work makes them go nuts because they know us liberals have no problem in that department (that's cuz we ain't got no problem with sex, beotchez!) and that's why they hate us.

mrblifil June 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Guess he didn't count on his dick having to "go Galt."

DahBoner June 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm

"…a coked out over tan ken doll riding a wave runner swinging a dead cat yelling NO TAXES"

Hell of a party, Rebecca!

owhatever June 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Oh, Nesnora
Oh, Nesnora
Oh, Nesnora
They oughtta make more of you.

Late last night at the bar they did some changin'
And I stood watching as she started rearrangin'
A Lib came up said, gimme some head,
She cut off his balls, and now he's dead,
On, Nesnora, they oughtta make more of you.

Billmatic June 11, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Jeez, nesnora. I was just kidding. I went home and listened to the Smiths and cried myself to sleep after that date. Thanks for the painful memories and bringing it up on the internet.

Sharkey June 11, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Strong Sad, stop blogging about this stuff!

Billmatic June 12, 2012 at 2:13 am

Sweetness I was only joking when I said that I'd like to smash every cat in my neighborhood
Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking when I said you by rights you should be burned alive you liberal puke

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt.

Doktor Zoom June 11, 2012 at 11:19 pm

This is Just to Say

By Ayn Carlos Paul

I have eaten
the cats
that were in
the neighbor's yard

and we
should probably
be paving
the Middle East

Forgive me
I'm just a fascist
so limp
and so cold

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:08 am

Awful yet brilliant.
Brilliantly awful.
Awfully brilliant.

Doktor Zoom June 12, 2012 at 12:16 am

So much depends

A red ball

Beside the green

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:52 am

I hope you realize that that first "awful" should've been spelled with an "e."

I think so

emmelemm June 12, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Late to the party, but I give that an A+.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 11:19 pm

And now that little creep runs the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation?

BarackMyWorld June 11, 2012 at 11:25 pm


SayItWithWookies June 11, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Nice. And Nesnora, I hope the next time you have a blind date with a Libertarian you drink him under the table, then stand over his drunk ass as you tell him that Libertarianism is a completely vapid ideology that was created by a woman on Medicare and whose most visible proponent gets shitloads of federal money for his district. Then leave him with the bill, but not before you make sure he leaves a 100% tip for making the bartender listen to his self-serving bullshit.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Morbid curiosity wanted me to ask if it has something to do with dead cats and Reagen, but I left it at that.

ROTFLMAO! Honestly, I don't have anything else to add; that was hilarious.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm

And no discussion of Libertarians would be complete without a link to John Scaizi's classic article I Hate Your Politics. Scalzi also wrote this classic line:

I really don’t know what you do about the “taxes are theft” crowd, except possibly enter a gambling pool regarding just how long after their no-tax utopia comes true that their generally white, generally entitled, generally soft and pudgy asses are turned into thin strips of Objectivist Jerky by the sort of pitiless sociopath who is actually prepped and ready to live in the world that logically follows these people’s fondest desires. Sorry, guys. I know you all thought you were going to be one of those paying a nickel for your cigarettes in Galt Gulch. That’ll be a fine last thought for you as the starving remnants of the society of takers closes in with their flensing tools.

in a 2010 article on taxes. His article on what he thinks about Atlas Shrugged is also worth reading.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 11:49 pm

The last sentence of the Atlas Shrugged review is a corker.

Designer_Radio June 11, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Hey, there are rich housewives everywhere who pay good money for the occasional flensing.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:19 am

Thank you, Wile E. I love a good writer.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 12, 2012 at 12:46 am

… and I also started my own company. Both of these things, and other financial events, caused me to look at my tax profile and go, oh, man, I am so very over my head right now. Bear in mind that I said this when I had written a book on finance, and when I was currently writing a finance newsletter for AOL, and also working as a consultant for a number of financial services companies. I was not exactly innumerate. But then maybe that was the thing: I knew enough to know I didn’t know nearly enough.

Dunning–Kruger proving correct once again. Those with knowledge understand when they need a hand.

incidentally, how did you do that nifty quote effect?

Doktor Zoom June 12, 2012 at 1:50 am

[blockquote] text [/blockquote] only with < > instead of [ ]

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 12, 2012 at 2:11 am

Magic, cheers. Now I can stop using italics for quotes.

Wile E. Quixote June 12, 2012 at 1:59 am

The nifty quote effect is generated by using the blockquote tag with < > signs instead of [ ] brackets. I realize from reading your post that I misspelled "Dunning-Kruger" earlier. That's not ironic, that's just plain dumb.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

Oh, we all knew what you meant. Content over form and all that; spelling as a measure of intelligence is overrated by people whose arguments need to be validated by yelling "LOLZ YOU CANT EVEN SPELL SESQUIPEDALIAN!" and so on.

Wile E. Quixote June 11, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I'd have more use for Libertarians if more of them were like Karl Hess.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm

I'm a rank atheist meself, but libertarians and their selfish ilk remind me of the fine old country gospel tune, "A Satisfied Mind"…

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 12:04 am

Thank you! I like your boobie.

TanzbodenKoenig June 12, 2012 at 2:02 am

who doesn't like a perky boobie?

Mumbletypeg June 12, 2012 at 12:09 am

Nesnora, if you're not glowing with pride yet — *regards the "99p" by the username — your pee score should achieve that golden hue when you break the three-digit ceiling as a result of this post. Well done.

bobbert June 12, 2012 at 12:09 am

Speaking of libertarians, is it just me, or is the Wonkosphere suffering a dearth of potentially illuminating or embarrassing cell-phone pics from the Detroit Drinky Thing and the putative NRN Drinky Thing?

A smattering of comments suggests that these events actually happened, but the vast audience of information-starved Wonkers (well, I suppose, that might just be me) wants all the degenerate details.

Is this on some socialized media? 'Cause then, I'm SOL.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 12:14 am

I'm completely comfortable with Libertarians, as long as actually accept that their form of government is sociopathic and they don't try to mess with the details to adopt whatever rules suit their own personal fancy. My former coworker (Paultard) and I got on splendidly when we talked about politics, except for one topic: abortion. It was his stance (and many other Paultards') that the government is in place only to protect private property.

Fine. That's fine. If that's how you want to define role of government, that's great. It's heartless and does nothing for the disenfranchised, but hey, if you think that that is how you will force the poors to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, OK then.

But then you can't call abortion "murder", because if anything was EVER private property, it's this parasite that is currently sucking my will to live out via my uterine wall; and I have the right to do with my private property as I will. If the government can't force you to vaccinate your kids, then it sure as fuck can't force you to birth them, either.

You can't have it both ways. Either the government is here only to protect private property; or it's more than that, and has a more benevolent role to play in society. But if government IS more than that, then you can't argue that it's bad to help the destitute using government funds.

I have yet to meet a Libertarian who is like "Gut the government! I won't pay taxes! Do away with the UN! Gay marriage is just fine with me, because no one should be forced to bow to anyone else's religious dogma! Have all the abortions you want – none of my fucking business!" I'm not saying that these people don't exist – I just haven't come across one yet.

bobbert June 12, 2012 at 12:55 am

Another thing they tend to lose track of is that if, for example, a libertarian businessperson in an idealized libertarian society declines to serve an "other" because of the other's otherness, and the other responds by nuking the businessperson's place of business; he or she, or his or her heirs, will be shit out of luck, because there will never be such a thing as "insurance" in a libertarian paradise (too risky, can't make a profit on it).

BTW, how is the parasite doing? IIRC, you should be entering the period of time where it's becoming bloody uncomfortable, but there is still a long way to go.

Take heart. There's more than a decade before it becomes a teenager.

anniegetyerfun June 12, 2012 at 9:39 am

Parasite is doing OK, thank you for asking. I'm still not at the uncomfortable stage – I think that will be coming in the next month. I'm just at the "incredibly tired" stage, which I'm told is to last at least another 20 years or so.

iburl June 12, 2012 at 12:46 am

"…eat your neighbor’s cat…"

sexting accomplished

Barb June 12, 2012 at 12:54 am

To the new member who created the name "Lube" and changed it to "LouBarb", grow some funk of your own, amigo. You changed your name to reflect my name, changed away from it and came back to it.

Your profile leads to the Patriot Depot, the site that sells Breitbart tchotchkes. You say that your name is "LouBarb", rhymes with "rhubarb" in a response by you. My response to you rhymes with "kiss my ass" No, actually, that is not a rhyme, it's what I want you to do, seriously.

If you want to come here and say something you should just do it. You chose to link your name to mine, as many other people did as a show of support to my daughter, who is about to deliver a baby.

My daughter, a sweet a shy girl, has a degree in elementary education and American sign language. She used to teach deaf children in a private school before she became a pediatric nurse who specializes in only foster care children. Yes, my Christine cleans up the little battered children after they are taken away from abusive parents.

Christine used fertility methods to have her first child, a very small, almost a dwarf child before she had a baby die and now she has a baby with an underdeveloped aorta, who has yet to be born.

The people here who added "Barb" to their names did it as a show of support to my daughter. You are using it to advance your shittified agenda. You don't get to use MY name to do anything. Use your own name, use your own thoughts, use your own arguments, use your own vision to promote anything you believe in, just don't use my name to do ANYTHING.

Would Andrew approve of this, had he not died? Was THIS is message? Don't ride on my coattails, Sporto. Be a man, or a woman. Be anything you want, just don't link your name to mine to try to be noticed. My real name is Barbara, and I don't have to latch on to other people to be noticed.

iburl June 12, 2012 at 1:21 am

Breitbart died for your trolls.

Barb June 12, 2012 at 2:03 am

Breitbart is about to get more Spam that Hawaii if his little toadies don't hop back to the toadie farm and stop using my name to post on this website.

Why use my name to try to "pass?" Derp, derp, derp, (anything-Barb) I am going to sell crap on Patriot Depot because I had "Barb" in my name.

Gosh, I USED to hate Breitbart, but now that I've seen this shittified merchandise from a member with 3 posts and has "Barb" in their name I will cough up $$$.

It all makes sense to me now!

Five days until vacation. Must…hold…on…until…then.

bobbert June 12, 2012 at 1:57 am

Barb, the best thing to do with trolls is ignore them. I know that's hard (and I've certainly wasted plenty of electrons trying to argue with 'em, usually when I'm a bit likkered up). But ultimately, it's a waste of time. This is a realization I come to about once a week. ;>)

Turning to the subject of grandbarbies, if Mina manages to stall things for another couple of weeks, does that allow her aorta to improve, or is it emergency surgery no matter what? Please forgive me, and ignore it, if this is too invasive a question.

BTW, although my avatar hasn't changed recently, my screenname has. I was formerly George Spelvin / Skullfry, and before my self-immolation, ShaveTheWhales. One of the reasons I changed from George was that I couldn't figure out how to properly incorporate "Barb" in to the nym. Now, I can see two easy possibilities, but I think I'll just leave it implied.

Best wishes to you and your growing family tree.

Barb June 12, 2012 at 2:31 am

Thanks, Sweetie.

Yes, the longer Mina bakes the better she will be.

While Chrissy went to college, super sweet girl she is, she was the assistant manager of the Hallmark store near my house. She knows every holiday and she is big on all of them. This woman is in constant pain and all she can think about is having her baby on her wedding anniversary on Wednesday or saving the delivery for Father's Day on Sunday.

I don't understand how something and someone so sweet as Chrissy could be a product of mine. I bond with Victoria, and the way she is so evil. When Vic was born I didn't count her fingers or toes. I stared at her until I could see that she could arch an eyebrow and then I knew she was "normal"

"GrandBarbies" I like it! I haven't slept in 4 nights. Now I have to go to sleep just to see what GrandBarbies look like in my mind. Thanks!

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 5:54 am

Get some sleep and above all, love your kids. Make sure they know that you care about them. (coming from someone that hasn't seen/talked to her father since 1985 and Mothra since 2003).

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm

If your daughter is due so soon, this may not help, but there are some studies linking Omega-3 & Vitamin D3 supplementation with an increased chance of a full-term pregnancy…

I hope you get some shut-eye soon, & please don't let the trollz get you down.

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 7:45 am

On behalf of spineless, freeloading, corpse-sucking cowards who can't take responsibility for themselves, I'd like to apologi-actually, no, they can go fuck themselves with a curling iron.

How is your daughter holding up? Let her know she is in our (very genuine) thoughts, will ya? I won't have it be said we Wonketeers don't care for our Barb and her family (we loves ya hon)!

And unfortunately, I have a feeling that Breitbart was exactly the sort of slimeball who'd approve of the dirtbag cowardice these fuckheads are pulling. The man had no decency in life, I don't think he would have any in death either. (sorry if I'm swearing excessively, by the by. I'm suffering a terrible bout of insomnia myself at the moment as well…)

Wile E. Quixote June 12, 2012 at 2:02 am

Oh, and Nesnora, I have to say that this beats my "worst date, ever" story hands down.

extreme_left June 12, 2012 at 2:04 am

as for the other way 'the nurse and glove love' scene from 'Road trip' comes to mind.

Wile E. Quixote June 12, 2012 at 2:05 am

I think that if anyone ever wrote a Libertarian version of 1984 the O'Brien character would tell Winston "If you want a picture of the future, imagine an angry, maladjusted teenager yelling 'you're not the boss of me', forever."

bobbert June 12, 2012 at 2:14 am

Seriously OT, but this cat was hella boxer

I am not, generally, a boxing fan, but I was mesmerized during three Olympics watching Teofilo Stevenson. So were his opponents. The guy stalked around the ring with his right hand cocked, jabbing with his left. If the opponent never countered the jabs, he'd lose on points. What more often happened was that the opponent did, sooner or later, counter, get slightly out of position, and get KO'd by the hammer of Teofilo.

What fascinated me was that all the other guys KNEW that they were either going to get out-pointed or knocked out. You could see it in their body language. And they all chose KO. Boxers, eh?

FWIW, IMO, Ali would have beaten him.

smokefilledroommate June 12, 2012 at 4:06 am

I had a date like that once. (Once). — He rolled his eyes and told me that feminists weren't going to change anything–all the books I read were stupid and cringeworthy, (why was I reading all this garbage and not fucking Him?! He was some misogynist Navy guy… In the Navy!) He set up another 'date' at a well-known Philly shit bar of which I was a frequent patron– McGlinchey's (perhaps he was intrigued as to why he repulsed me). I came in alone, expecting to see him alone and sat at the end of the bar. I could see him quite clearly as he entered with his douchebag insecurity posse (DIP). He avoided all eye contact, having so much fun with his 'friends' while I sat there alone staring at him. (I guess I was young and gullible–perhaps I just wanted another debate. Wasn't 1991 the year of the woman according to some stupid magazine?) After awhile, a few of my friends came in and I explained the entire situation. Choice words were exchanged as he uh, "left the bar".*

*no douchebags, jerkoffs or members of DIP were injured save for perhaps their pride

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 5:59 am

You'd better stay away from him. He'll rip your Lungs out, Jim.
Hah. I'd like to meet his tailor.

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 7:49 am

Further proof that the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us…

Doktor Zoom June 12, 2012 at 9:31 am

Lungs on an LA sidewalk? That's nothing. I left my heart in San Francisco.

Los Angeles County Sheriff's Sergeant Pauline Panis…said it was the first time she was aware of a pair of lungs being recovered from the streets of Los Angeles.

"It's getting weirder," she said.

Hunter S Thompson was right. The Weird are turning pro.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm

…and I've got to get my Ass back to Sunset Boulevard!

Turns out they're not Human Lungs, but it's still Weird. I agree there seems to be a lot more Professional Weirdness around now than I ever remember. Hunter sure was a visionary, of some things.

He also said: "In a Nation of Swine, all Pigs are Upwardly Mobile."

niblick77 June 12, 2012 at 8:08 am

I trust you paid your half of the bill before you just left!

BlueStateLibel June 12, 2012 at 8:09 am

Wow, just wow. Hopefully that guy got the meds he so desperately needs.

el_donaldo June 12, 2012 at 9:10 am

Sorry, I'm late. Libertarian guys fuck dead penguins? Is that where we're at?

Dr_pangloss June 12, 2012 at 9:16 am

He probably just needs you to take him over your knee and give him a good spank. Libertarians of that variety just want to be Mommied and then punished for misbehaving. It's really just as common as conservatives into diaper play and fascists into cross dressing. (Not that all people into age play or crossdressing are consevatives or fascists).

ElPinche June 12, 2012 at 10:11 am

Does "going Galt" mean soaking your head in bath salts on the daily?

glasspusher June 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

Aaron: He must have been great looking, right?
Jane: Why do you say that?
Aaron: Because nobody invites a bad looking idiot to their hotel room.

-Broadcast News

rickmaci June 12, 2012 at 11:07 am

Has anyone ever actually seen a Looneytarian female? Is there such a thing? Are they hiding in the bathroom behind a locked door with a gun waiting for the asshat to leave, tied up in the basement, extinct? What gives?

UnholyMoses June 12, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Hey now — that was a response to MY comment, so I should get some love for inspirational comment of the day. Or … something.

**crosses arm, raises an eyebrow, taps foot**

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Thank you kindly.

starfanglednut June 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm

Really? Dudes can come without getting hard? That's so weird.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Wasn't this already demonstrated in A Boy and His Dog?

weejee June 11, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Perhaps the Sandusky trial will give some insight.

not that Radio June 11, 2012 at 10:40 pm

I assumed it was all a bunch of hyperbola.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Mercy fucks.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:50 pm

At least it's not hyperebola.

I was thinking about Salman Rushdie's great novel, Midnight's Children, in which he discusses the Bangladesh war in terms of its fairness. The unfairness of it all.

Fairtackle June 12, 2012 at 1:19 am

Libertarians, keeping the Malthusian dream alive.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Thank you very much.

chascates June 11, 2012 at 11:36 pm

12 ears for $1? Sheesh, no wonder we market gardeners are poor! We sell at small markets in central Texas and there's a bunch of old, retired guys who garden just for a hobby. They'll sell for almost nothing just to get out and talk to people.
That is a great deal on corn though. I hope people who don't normally buy it will try it and keep eating it. Locally produced food, in season, and eaten with friends and family. The best way to maintain sanity.

BerkeleyBear June 12, 2012 at 1:48 am

You are a glutton for punishment, Barb – the Chargers' window is closing fast, especially with the Broncos adding Manning, the Chiefs and Raiders showing signs of life – not to mention a half dozen other AFC teams getting healthy.

Glad you got your corn. Pan sauteed my yak steaks in the duck fat tonight, and it was a very good experience. The meat is very lean, incredibly dark (it was so dark when I opened up the package it scared me a little) and while it was definitely a little denser than beef sirloin, it was also really flavorful and game-like in a good way.

Barb June 11, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Hey Chascates! The only thing I miss about living in the south is amazing tomatoes and dirt cheap watermelon, sold curbside by local gardeners.

I live in the desert and I dug a garden, hauled in the dirt and manure and planted my own veggies. Something tells me that I am going to get a really anemic looking $500.00 tomato out of it.

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 2:27 am

So how come we don't have lonely retired hobbyists selling produce for next to nothing 'round here (SC)? It seems like we ought to…?

We are CSA members since our yard's too shady for growing much in the way of produce. The weeds & skeeters do well every year, though. Do you do a CSA there?

Doktor Zoom June 11, 2012 at 11:59 pm

D'oh! Yeah, I totally missed the irony there–chalk it up to my own feelings of insecurity as the former spouse of an Oberlin grad, who never made a big thing out of her academic pedigree, but next to whom I always felt like Li'l Abner in a badly-patched Sunday-go-to-meetin' suit.

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:38 am

A quick search on "technological singularity" leads me to Vernor Vinge, who interests me a good deal. Thank you for the information. I shall continue to search and read, and hope to engage you further.

BelleSC June 12, 2012 at 7:35 am

"I think that as the 'olds' die off, and stop teaching the more gullible minds of the world their failed theories, we will see a very rapid rise in various socially progressive styles of thinking and politics"

*thinking about my cousins in south Alabama*

From your lips to God's ears.

Spurning Beer June 12, 2012 at 7:24 am

"President Clinton" has a nice ring to it.

Next step is to get Bootsy Collins to run for senator in Maine.

not that Radio June 12, 2012 at 8:35 am

One Nation, Under a Groove

chascates June 12, 2012 at 8:42 am

We're ramping up to start a CSA, just selling through a few farmers markets for now. I figured South Carolina would have truck farmers all over the place.

UW8316154 June 12, 2012 at 9:32 am

I've been thinking about joining the local CSA in Skagit County. They seem like pretty good arrangements. Anything I should know first?

scvirginia June 12, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Yeah, but only collards or watermelons, depending on the season.

We've been members of our CSA for 4 years now. We've got quite a few options locally, including grass-fed beef CSA's, pastured eggs, etc. We really like eating local & organic, but I'm probably preachin' to the choir…

chascates June 12, 2012 at 10:02 am

Here's a great site explaining CSAs and has a list of them:

The best way is to visit the farm and see if you like the people and the place. You want someone with a variety of produce. Eating nothing but kale and collards in the winter or squash in the summer isn't that fun.
And a lot of CSAs are branching out to include eggs, honey, dairy, and meat products. Delivery method is a factor to consider as well. Good luck and good eating!

emmelemm June 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

See, that was my question. (Comment above.)

UW8316154 June 12, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Thank you! Appreciate the tips.

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