LUNTZ IT UP  3:45 pm June 11, 2012

Virginia Idiot: ‘Sea Level Rise’ Newest Left-Wing Plot

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

WHAT HAPPENED TO TEENY?Al Gore, besides inventing the Internet and lying constantly about that thing he said that was 100 percent correct, is also responsible for other terrible crimes against humanity. Do you know what they are? They are taking facts, like that the sea levels are rising, and making them terrible words only liberals use. Yes, the state of Virginia, in studying what to do about rising sea levels, has taken the words “sea level rise” out of its report on rising sea levels, because “sea level rise” is “left-wing.” Oh sweet Virginia. What would we here at Wonket HQ do without you and your bastard idjit brothers, like North Carolina, which already sort of did pretty much the same thing?

Bring it, HamptonRoads:

State Del. Chris Stolle, R-Virginia Beach, who insisted on changing the “sea level rise” study in the General Assembly to one on “recurrent flooding,” said he wants to get political speech out of the mix altogether.

He said “sea level rise” is a “left-wing term” that conjures up animosities on the right. So why bring it into the equation?

“What people care about is the floodwater coming through their door,” Stolle said. “Let’s focus on that. Let’s study that. So that’s what I wanted us to call it.”

All right, dude. We will rename “sea level rise” as “CONSTANT FUCKING FLOODING” because that does not hurt your tender sensibilities by BEING THE EXACT SAME THING and ALSO BEING FROM CLIMATE CHANGE. Luntz it up, man. Frame away.

[HamptonRoads, via ThinkProgress]

 
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{ 208 comments }

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Why do they hate the tides?

Generation[redacted] June 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

You can't explain it!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

They hate fucken' EVERYthing, man. Except Jeebus.

Well, no, they hate REALJeebus, too. It's their own version of Jeebus they don't hate.

MadBrahms June 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

They go in, they go out, all without Jesus' blessing.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Didn't they lift all boats, like Jesus said?

imissopus June 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Ironically, that's the name of the local Triple-A baseball team.

Callyson June 11, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Because Alabama constantly wins the BCS.

BelleSC June 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Good one.

Stevola June 12, 2012 at 1:09 am

Was there a mis-communication?

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

This reminds me of a New Twilight Zone where language begins to change over the course of one week in the main characters life.

Spoon!

doloras June 11, 2012 at 6:07 pm

SOAP MILK

veritass June 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Ok, fine. We'll trade you "recurring flooding" for "sea level rise" as long as we get "bigoted fairytale bullshit stories made up by confused desert goat farmers that cause people to disbelieve science even when their houses are underwater, as predicted by science" for "religion."

Deal?

WunkRocker June 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm

that veritass!

Callyson June 11, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Also, "religious fanatics and free – ride – seeking Wall Streeters" for "Republicans."

Dashboard_Jesus June 12, 2012 at 2:27 am

fucking major WIN!

Allmighty_Manos June 11, 2012 at 3:50 pm

While we're at it I'm officially declaring herpes, dwi and 30 days past due left wing terms as well. LALALALAL I CAN'T HEAR U LIBTARD

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

We need to start calling bill collectors in Virginia and just screaming, cold out screaming that at them.

Why the fuck not? It's no LESS insane than what THESE fuckwits are proposing!

mavenmaven June 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm

…and make sure there's no reference in the study to science, math, or for that matter, women…

elviouslyqueer June 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Tides go out, tides inundate low-lying seaside communities and obliterate protective barrier islands. You can't explain it.

WunkRocker June 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Mag.nuts.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

*THEY* can't. I'm not having a problem, here.

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

That's why tide tables are produced by using crystal balls and ouija boards.

Gleem McShineys June 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm

They don't mean you can not explain it. They mean
YOU ARE FORBIDDEN FROM EXPLAINING IT.

Nostrildamus June 11, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I was going the use that horrible, partisan word "Republican", but I'll just say "clueless douche-nozzle" instead.

kissawookiee June 11, 2012 at 3:52 pm

If it was good enough for Noah, it's good enough for me.

An_Outhouse June 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Its IN THE BIBLE!!!

mrpuma2u June 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Stoopid liberul critter luvin tree hugger Noah! That ark dint have no twin inboards, so he wuz a soshuliss.

MosesInvests June 11, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Noah, as played by Sean Connery:
"Shee, I've got a shpeedboat on the Shea of Galilee…." (h/t to Eddie Izzard)

EatsBabyDingos June 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Virginia Beach: Like most mortgages, it will soon to be the Port of Chesapeake or "New Atlantis."

WunkRocker June 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I guess the Pentagon can close this a little sooner then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAS_Oceana
or Pat Robertson can just suck up all the water.

Not_So_Much June 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

All "science" is a vast left-wing plot. You can't argue that — it's science.

MarionNYNY June 11, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Are you sure? I thought it was in the bible somewhere next to "God helps those who help themselves" and all the bad stuff Jeebus said about the gays.

PhilippePetain June 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Recurrent flooding goes in, recurrent flooding goes out. Howditgetthere?

succalina June 11, 2012 at 8:05 pm

magnets. how do they work?

niblick77 June 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I vote for Land Lowering (LL) because it looks like the land is getting lower, not that the sea is rising…………..

TootsStansbury June 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

This is an actual talking point. No shit.

bobbert June 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Actually, it's even actual science — there is some subsidence happening, which of course makes the flooding even worse.

DemmeFatale June 12, 2012 at 11:02 am

Reminds me of "previously owned" cars.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2012 at 3:53 pm

The tide is high but I'm holding on
I'm saying science is a lefty one
I'm not the kinda Repug who gives up just like that, oh no
It's not just the way you say, that tease and hurt me bad
But it's the facts you tell to me, you do to me
I'm not the kinda Repug who gives up just like that, oh no
The tide is high but I'm holding on
I'm saying science is a lefty one
Lefty one, Lefty one

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Will you record it?

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Whereas "Head so far up your ass you can't see daylight" is a right-wing term. But they obviously like the view from up there.

sharethegrief June 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

I'm waiting for Arizona to follow suit, because.

poorgradstudent June 11, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Here's a bet: does Jan Brewer even realize Arizona is landlocked?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

She blames government regulations for that.

the_problem_child June 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Maybe not for long?

Butch_Wagstaff June 11, 2012 at 6:45 pm

I don't think she does because she thinks there's a flood of Mexicans coming into the state.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

If Arizona had water, they'd be annexed by California by now.

StarsUponThars June 11, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You say potato, I say are you kidding me with this shit.

emmelemm June 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

'Zactly.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Maybe the land is just sinking. Ever think of that you know-it-all libruls?

Butch_Wagstaff June 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Maybe the mole people have just hollowed out all the ground.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Sometimes, I worry about you, sweetie. Like, about what you dream, and stuff.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Reading about Hollow Earth cranks is a lot of fun, but even better are those who were sure we live inside the hollow earth and just don't know it.

Goonemeritus June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

"He said “sea level rise” is a “left-wing term” that conjures up animosities on the right."

If we go by this standard all fact based discussion will be eliminated and pressing issues will be decided by dog fight.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

It's the old, "You bedder not talk about dat. Dat upsets Benny" school of discussion.

Just like in the old days when you lived with the extended family and nobody could talk about the price of food because Crazy Uncle would flip out and start talking about drinking roasted chicory root during the war, and dead babies lying on the sidewalk.

MosesInvests June 11, 2012 at 8:09 pm

"Don't mention the War!"

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Damn your eyes, you made me think of Fawlty Towers, and I laughed!

MosesInvests June 11, 2012 at 10:11 pm

That was the idea, yes.

coolhandnuke June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

This is old news in Newport News. They rely on the Pony Express for all their info.

edgydrifter June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

All references to "gravity" will now be replaced with "angels pushing down on your shoulders so you don't fly off into space."

mwittier June 11, 2012 at 7:34 pm

The angels were very strong today. Is why I stayed in bed.
SCIENCE!

Native_of_SL_UT June 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I think the Republican version of that science would be that there is no such thing as gravity, it is just that the whole world sucks.

poorgradstudent June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

So to be fair can Bernie Sanders or whoever demand that we change all references to the "War on Terror" to "Blowing Up Browns for the Lolz"?

Lucidamente1 June 11, 2012 at 3:55 pm

As long as they can perform transvaginal probes underwater, it's all good.

fartknocker June 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I'm not surprised by this. I glanced at today's Arizona Republic, which has an article about flouridation of water. The wingnut comments are absolutely priceless. General Ripper from Dr. Strangelove would be proud.

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Well, teeth do tend to get in the way of a good airport restroom blow job.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:25 pm

And … you would know this how? Jus_Wonderin.

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

LOL. I regret my failure to use quotes on that line.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm

It's ALL about the LOLs, JW, all about the LOLs. For this troublemaking scamp, anyway.

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

And they're going to refer to hurricanes as "significant wind events."

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

"recurrent strong breezes"

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm

"Weather sneezes"

EatsBabyDingos June 11, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Or, "God farting in your general direction."

WunkRocker June 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

"The Lord being sorry about Florida, but glad most of it is pretty close to Sea Level."
Stand.Your.Ground. (And hold your breath).

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Wonkette, could you give us a "Caption This" posting???? Wezza haz funz with that.

Infrogmation June 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm

King Canute, 2016!

IncenseDebate June 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You know what else makes Virginia wet?

actor212 June 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

The Virginia Pipeline?

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Santa Claus?

Blueb4sunrise June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I upfisted you both, so no fighting.

Blueb4sunrise June 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Santa Claus?

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm
gullywompr June 11, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Butch_Wagstaff June 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

That place is a traffic & parking nightmare & has some of ugliest architecture thanks to get-rich-quick development.
But it's a popular area for shopping because it means that people don't have to come to Richmond (because it has too many of the darker folks) to shop & dine anymore.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Foxxes?

Chichikovovich June 11, 2012 at 4:26 pm

A room of one's own?

valgal2342 June 11, 2012 at 4:54 pm

The prep before a trans-vaginal ultrasound?

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm

A bodice ripper?

HarryButtle June 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Billy Joel?

Isyaignert June 12, 2012 at 2:00 am

Rain?

rickmaci June 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I'm going out a limb here but I have a feeling “sea level rise” is some type of end time Biblical thing and State Del. Stool Sample doesn't want to sully scriptural Armageddon with secular sciency things like global warming.

Butch_Wagstaff June 11, 2012 at 7:08 pm

He'll be a believer in the scriptures till the very end which will be when sea water starts filling up his house.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I like this game!

Jared Loughner was recurrently ground-standing.

Mitt Romney is guilty merely of recurrently making statements which were not intended to be factual.

Genghis Khan was inclined to bouts of recurrent urban redevelopment.

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Andrew Breitbart was just stirring up discussion.

Sarah Palin was just letting someone else take a turn at being governor.

Frank Luntz is just polishing turds.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

With his tongue.

Wut? That IS what he's doing.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:25 pm

You gotta admit, the guy has linguistic skills. The English word derives ultimately from Latin lingua, "language, tongue"

elburritodeluxe June 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

In fact, can't it be said that by politicizing climate change, Democrats are responsible for sea level change? Just Luntzing it here…

metamarcisf June 11, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Got to scrape that shit right off your shoes.

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Props for the Exile reference!

actor212 June 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

He's right, you know: I've been sent instructions to drink lots and lots of water, then walk over to Coney Island and piss in the sea

valthemus June 11, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Clearly the vexed gentleman from Virginia Beach is suffering from an imbalance of humours. Bleed him with leeches at once!

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I believe leeches were once accepted Science. We should just wait for prayer to heal him.

actor212 June 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

We should burn him in a wicker cage, just to be on the safe side.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Can't we just say he's hagridden and beat the devils out of him with Loving Heavenly Rods of Instruction and prayer?

Butch_Wagstaff June 11, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Maybe he needs a good trepanning?
Surgeon: "Hm. I don't see what the problem was. Doesn't look like there was anything in it to begin with."

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

The dumbass Republican from Virginia Beach should own some damn beachfront property there — ideally in the vanishing community of Sandbridge — until he decides that this constant flooding thing is starting to become a trend.

CivicHoliday June 11, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Sorry, Mr. Stolle, but these terms are not interchangeable. If by recurrent flooding you mean starfish living in your kitchen cabinets and sea lions breeding in the den, then sure, but I'm pretty sure occasional seasonal or weather related changes in water level is an entirely different thing than the entire fucking ocean permanently engulfing your beachfront property.

hagajim June 11, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Since when is a factual statement about rising sea levels a liberal term…oh yeah, since it uses factual evidence that the GOP hates.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

It's getting to the point where these yobbos will reject ANYthing science-based/factual SOLELY because it's science-based/factual. We'll be forced to say "Heaven-O" when answering the phone, and … oh, fuck it, I can't go on.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

oh, fuck it, I can't go on.

I'm starting to wonder whether their plan is to flood our brains with so much fucking stupid we all just off ourselves to end the pain.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:30 pm

It's working! We all drink and drug to stop the fucking pain, it's just a matter of time before even the drink and drugs just don't DO EET anymore.

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 4:37 pm

You know how Republicans are about "making factual statements."

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Oh yeah. I'd forgotten all about the NITBAFS meme.

He had it read into the Congressional record AS A MATTER OF FACT before discounting its fact-basedness with that "Not intended to be a factual statement" line of blatheramskate.

Thanks, Guppy. I might be able to soldier on for a little longer!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:27 pm

A government of the moneyed, by the moneyed, and for the moneyed.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Ha!

Isyaignert June 12, 2012 at 2:03 am

Facts have a well-known liberal bias don't cha know?

coolhandnuke June 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

…“What people care about is the floodwater coming through their door,” Stolle said. “Let’s focus on that. Let’s study that"…

Psst Stolle. A screen door is not an effective means of flood control.

prommie June 11, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Every practicing, degree-holding scientist who has published in the field is in complete agreement that the sea-level is rising. This proves that every scientist, every University, every scientific publication, and every research institution is engaged in a massive liberal conspiracy. Their goal: to stifle the mouths of the fucktards and imbeciles, to prevent the pigfuckers and morons from being heard, to trample on the rights of people who are wrong about shit and don't know that they are talking about, to quell the voices of the ignorant, the mistaken, the blinded, the superstitious, and yes, even the liars and the insane. Its the most monstrous consipracy ever in history, this conspiracy by the intelligent and knowledgeable, against the fucking idiot morons.

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm

We've got them right where we want them!!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:31 pm

More like" "We've got them right where they want us!"

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 11, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Oh what do they know? I have faith that it isn't happening. Plugging ears now.

Chichikovovich June 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Its the most monstrous conspiracy ever in history, this conspiracy by the intelligent and knowledgeable, against the fucking idiot morons.

It's about frickin' time! The Fucking Idiot Morons (FIMs) have been taking the fight to the intelligent and knowledgeable since the burning of the library at Alexandria.

Um…
Wait, that was sarcastic, right? There isn't really such a conspiracy of the intelligent and knowledgeable, is there?
..
Damn. Got my hopes up.

prommie June 11, 2012 at 4:24 pm

There is too such a conspiracy! Its called "civilization." The fucktards, they are not part of it.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Doesn't appear to be working )-;

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

And YOU, you smash what little hope Prommie gave me flat with a hammer. Dude.

Chichikovovich June 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

True, but a civilization that cannot defend itself against the rule of FIMs has a lot to learn.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:32 pm

You give me hope.

GeneralLerong June 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm

I love it when you talk like that.

bobbert June 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

This exact argument (well, without acknowledging that the conspired-against (conspiritees?) are fucktards and imbeciles, appears in the comments thread of the linked article.

WIDTAP June 12, 2012 at 11:29 am

" …engaged in a massive liberal conspiracy. Their goal: to stifle the mouths of the fucktards and imbeciles…."

Known in common English as "teaching".

outragedcitizen June 12, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Hey, Jebus did too have his own dinosaur!

WhatTheHeck June 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

When I drop an ice cube into my whisky glass, the ice cube NEVER melts.
I might be a Virginia idjut. Or I might be drinking my whisky too fast.

BaldarTFlagass June 11, 2012 at 4:08 pm

You know who else shunned science when it went against his preconceived notions?

IncenseDebate June 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Moe Howard?

Spurning Beer June 11, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Pope Clement VI?

Mumbletypeg June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

The latest script doctors of Focus on the Family Fetus?

coolhandnuke June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Laurie Anderson?

actor212 June 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Jesus? I mean, dude walked on water, and all…

UnholyMoses June 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Dr. Frankenstein?

WunkRocker June 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Ronald Reagan?

Guppy June 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Urban VIII?

doloras June 11, 2012 at 6:11 pm

T. D. Lysenko?

mwittier June 11, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Joel and the 'bots?

Veritas78 June 11, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Franz Mesmer?

Isyaignert June 12, 2012 at 2:04 am

George W. Bush?

randcoolcatdaddy June 11, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Speaking of recurrent flooding, it seems that most state legislatures controlled by self-centered Republican twits can think of nothing to do except piss away their time and our money.

mormos June 11, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Idiots

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Hey, anyone see my keys anywhere??

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Trying to get off planet, sweetie?

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:46 pm

You have me figured out. You can have First Class on the maiden voyage of the USS JW2MARS launch. I have good information that there are no Republitards on Mars.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 4:48 pm

What are you talking about? Dude, it's the RED planet!

Jus_Wonderin June 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm

All passengers get fancy indigo colored glasses when you board. We tried to think of everything.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Wait, I gotta grab a pair shoes and some extra underroos.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Nice try, Florida.

franco_pinyon June 11, 2012 at 4:13 pm

According to the Ministry of Truth, once the polar ice caps melt the term will be changed to "permanent flooding."

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I thought it was "Ministry of Truthiness."

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Wow. Next up: Right wing decides to eliminate WORDS from vocabulary, claims WORDS have left-wing bias. Communication will henceforth be limited to grunts and face-hitting with rocks. Ungh.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Oh, like on Fox and Friends?

Stevola June 12, 2012 at 1:20 am

Worked so well in the Repub debates

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 1:29 am

Sure did, didn't it?

GhostBuggy June 11, 2012 at 4:15 pm

You've got to scrape that GOP right off your shoes.

Blueb4sunrise June 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

It's just very humid.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm

So if sea level rise is not a thing, you'll be perfectly OK with us burying you up to your head about a foot inland from the high tide mark from, say, 1980, won't you, Del. Stolle?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm

We'll have to arrange for a video party. Also, too, those things you bop pinatas with.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

See, I'm not Debbie Downer all the time.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:49 pm

You know, you're right. When you party, you PARTY. HEARTY!

Baconzgood June 11, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Do drowning is over hydration?

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Make grammar is what happen too?

Baconzgood June 12, 2012 at 8:37 am

Stupid sausage fingers and small smart phone key board.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Intelligent Overwetness.

Teach the controversy!

actor212 June 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Chris Stolle….hey, Editrix? Is it against the new posting rule if we call someone a Stolletard?

widestanceromance June 11, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Coastal liberty libel!

IncenseDebate June 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Atlantis libel!

BoatOfVelociraptors June 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I offer a prayer. May Virginia learn the lessons of Atlantis from the authoritative source, the Atlantic.

DeathOfIrony June 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Christ has risen 2 inches this decade tho, and that is science you can take to the bank

Blueb4sunrise June 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Mary Magdalene doin it?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:20 pm

doin' it, doin' it
Just like everyone else
They be chewin' it
chewin' it, chewin' it

Antispandex June 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Why is it that this kind of lunacy usually comes out of the states that seceded? A confederacy of dunces?

DeathOfIrony June 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I'll say it again, North Carolina is a beautiful place. If you stick to the encampments that have plumbing and electricity and skoools, and away from the really weedy, kudzu-y parts, it's full of progressive, talented people, beautiful girls, bitchin musicians, sandy warm beaches and beautiful mountains. You can venture out to the weedy places for BBQ which is nice, then come back to civilization. Pretty much if T-mobile has 3G or better, you're safe.

I hate that the morooons have ruined NC's rep. It rocks.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Over the past year or so, we drove all over the east (above Georgia that is) looking at colleges with my nephew, and I was very impressed by many of the liberal arts colleges we checked out in North Carolina. He ended up picking High Point U., not the school I would've chosen but there is a BBQ joint we just happened to run across by accident out in the boonies nearby that I'm looking forward to checking out again and again.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm

The Confe-DUH-racy.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:21 pm

That is one of the best books ever written.

Redhead June 11, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Does it still count as flooding if it never goes away? Or do I need to recycle my comment from earlier today about the kind of reading comprehension/critical analysis skills you develop being homeskooled by a "Jeebus rode on a dinosaur education is for libruls and commies!"-type?

savethispatient June 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

What a Knut!

MadBrahms June 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm

First North Carolina, now this! The climate crazy is moving north. Your move, Maryland.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Compared to N. Carolina, Maryland might as well be Sweden.

owhatever June 11, 2012 at 4:30 pm

The gentleman representing the Great Dismal Swamp put forward a simple two-point approach to solve the problem: First, build more statues to Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson and those other losers. Second, pray a lot harder to the real baptist God. And third, stick something up a woman's woogie.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Hey, owhatever, you've changed too! Is that John Wayne?

owhatever June 11, 2012 at 6:15 pm

<DIV style=”font-family:Arial, sans-serif; font-size:10pt;”>Roy Rogers. Didn't work. Changing back to normal if I can. Bad hair day.— notifications@intensedebatemail.com wrote:

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Honestly? I like Roy so much better. Nancy gives me serious bonerkiller.

Warpde June 11, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I don't think so.
By all accounts anything tards is still fair game.
As long as you don't substitute Stolle, Lib or according to the last piece Paul with a Re your golden :)
Hope that clarifies your inquiry.
I am Warpdetard and I am as tarded as they come.

Ducksworthy June 11, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Crap. They're on to us. Sea Level rise was indeed a liberal plot to drown those southerners in low lying areas to dumb to move and too fat to swim (i.e. most of them).

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 6:20 pm

In before these idiots start whining to "teach the controversy" about "Intelligent Land Being Pushed Down By God's Hand".

barto June 11, 2012 at 6:23 pm

I think "Sporadic 100% humidity events" would be more apt to appease all parties since the scientists are likely to have all committed suicide by then anyhow.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Hell, I'm contemplating it and I'm no scientist.

ttommyunger June 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm

It's common accepted that the oceans have a well-known Liberal Bias.

Chet Kincaid June 11, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Was this in the Virginia Idiot-Dispatch, or the Virginia Troglodyte-Picayune? (Two of the states leading insane asylums were merged with the afternoon papers back in the '50s, due to declining circulation.)

BelleSC June 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm

OT but…
I swear this is true. There is a cooperative in South Florida the land lease for which will expire in 2059. The property is on the beach. Right on the beach, no roads in between the building and the beach sand, you get the idea. Fifty feet to the water maybe. The lease holders are eager to purchase all of the land, the deeds to which are held by several owners. I told them they are wasting their time and money. I have seen the surveyor's plot drawings and read the elevations. By 2059 the property will most likely be underwater. Not to mention the fact that all of us will be DEAD.

Sheesh.

Buy in the mountains, rent at the beach.

emmelemm June 11, 2012 at 7:24 pm

That's not really off-topic, I'd say that's pretty Right-On topic.

Dumb science-hating idiots are as dumb science-hating idiots do.

TribecaMike June 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Only if we can put the Holy Mother Church on the Outdex.

Me_K_Cong June 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm

If the Republicans ever do come to grips with the fact that the sea level is rising, they will insist that the prudent thing to do is to immediately harvest (bulldoze) both coasts.

bobbert June 11, 2012 at 10:09 pm

My favorite (bar) part of the article is the headline, which tells (implicitly) us that "sea level rise" is a "buzzword". Always nice to have some thoughtful analysis from the Fourth Estate.

MosesInvests June 11, 2012 at 10:14 pm

New term for Republicans-wingknuts.

WIDTAP June 12, 2012 at 11:25 am

I insist that no documentary on the Titanic use the words "sunk" or "bottom of the sea floor", which upset my delicate sensibilities. Rather, all such documentaries should use the phrase "recurrent leaking" when referencing either the unfortunate encounter with the non-martini ice or the current condition of the Titanic.

sullivanst June 11, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Well, that's at least as effective as renaming rising sea levels, so yeah, that'll obviously work. Bravo!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Man, you are so BENT on harshing mah mellow!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 10:53 pm

People who make me laugh just end up on my list of friends, yaknow.

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