Screwing Poors and Old People

Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz Has Some Original Ideas On Fixing The Deficit

Representative Jason Chaffetz, a Republican (duh) from Utah, has a lot in common with his fellow Republicans, given that he thinks that fixing the deficit is a very, very important issue, but! not so important that we should be willing to cut defense spending or let the Bush tax cuts expire to get the job done. See, to Representative Jason Chaffetz, the deficit is a very specific level of important that necessitates raising the retirement age to 72, but does NOT require the expiration of the Bush tax cuts. In an op-ed over at The Hill called “Washington Has a Spending Problem, Not a Revenue Problem,” Chaffetz patiently explains that if we’d all just be willing to pitch in and sacrifice a little — you know, retire at 72, privatize Medicare, limit government assistance to Poors, that sort of thing — we can protect the interests of oil companies and rich people AND fix the deficit!

Clearly, we need to focus on entitlements […] and I’ve introduced a Social Security reform proposal that slows the growth in Social Security spending while protecting seniors and avoiding tax increases. Of course, the reaction from the Left has been predictable: we need more revenue from rich people and oil companies. As a percent of GDP, federal government revenues are at historic lows, but not because our tax-rate-and-base structure is too generous to taxpayers. In 2012, CBO projects revenues to equal 15.7% of GDP which is lower than the 18% historical average, but this is attributable to high unemployment and low workforce participation rates. By 2017, CBO projects the economy will have recovered (apparently they are assuming Romney will get elected) and revenue will reach 18% of GDP under the existing tax structure.

HAR! Congressman Chaffetz made a joke about how if Romney (R-Money) gets elected, the economy will recover.  You may be tempted to believe that the entire op-ed piece is a joke, what with him concerned about the deficit instead of, say, employment, and the fact that he doesn’t seem to understand that fear of DEBT is actually fear of REPAYMENT, which can be addressed through increasing REVENUE, which you can get from RICH PEOPLE or OIL COMPANIES or OTHER COMPANIES.

But no, dear reader; it is not a “joke,” other than the fact that it reflects a view held by many elected officials in one of our two major political parties, meaning, effectively, that there is a joke and our political system is it.

[The Hill]

About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

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  • nounverb911

    "Utah Republican Jason Chaffetz Has Some Original Ideas On Fixing The Deficit"
    Selling Utah to the Chinese to use as a toxic waste dump?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Sell the Mormon Temple for scrap.

      • Steverino247

        Now you're talking!

        Although it would have a devastating effect on the "Wedding Cake" School of architecture.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          You make this sound like a bad thing.

      • Generation[redacted]

        Just collect back taxes on all the churches. They'll sell their own temples for scrap.

    • Guppy

      "Why buy the cow…"

    • Not_So_Much

      Since those of us just to the north refer to Utah as "Idaho's Poopchute", I have mixed feeling about this.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Can they just build a dam and flood the place?

    • mull_man

      Sell that famous Morman boy's choir to the Vatican?

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Too late. We've already been bought by EnergySolutions.

  • bureaucrap

    Magic Underwear for EVERYONE!!!!

  • Baconzgood

    Is that John Madden in that photograph?

    (in my Madden voice)
    BOOM!!!!!!!! Now that's a snark. Brett Farve!

    • Callyson

      I think so–from brainyquote.com's selection of gems from John Madden:

      Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.
      John Madden

      Republican logic at its finest!

  • nounverb911

    I say we term limit congresscritters to one month in office (with no out of office benefits).

    • rickmaci

      The "no benefits" thing would be better than term limits. They get a per diem for days they are actually in DC in their office or in their office in their district and that's it. Out of country junkets, no money. Fund raisers at home or in other states, no money. Studio appearances on wingtard TV, no money. Banging an intern in a Virgina motel, no money. That would bring some meaningful reform to DC.

  • bureaucrap

    "there is a joke and our political system is it."

    As jokes go, not a very funny one.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Sorry, that was supposed to end with, "The Aristocrats!"

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      But it does make me gag.

  • Pragmatist2

    Being 72 in Utah means you are due for a new wife, by which I mean an additional wife.

  • Baconzgood

    Chaffetz doesn't sound Morman.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Not until he opens his mouth, anyway.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey, the tea partier idea is an improvement over the old Procrustean Bed — in this case, they never have to worry about stretching the victim to death, just cutting off more and more bits of him.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      They're giving the citizenry Death by a Thousand Cuts. Or something worse, Barry Hughart's wire shirt, tightened and scraped daily. Eventually the pain, suffering, and bleeding combine to kill the victim. Fuckers.

  • UnholyMoses

    It's quite telling how people who can retire when the hell ever they want, with full health benefits and a nice pension, think we should raise the retirement age even higher than it is now.

    • TheMightyHaltor

      It makes perfect sense. If you have to work until you're 72, you're obviously not….uh…working…hard enough?

      Shit, I sound like Yogi Berra.

    • mwittier

      They're also apt to be far too old to serve in the military, yet girlishly excited about starting wars.

      Most also have no (attached) cooter, yet find legislating ladybits highly gratifying.

      But their God commands them to Do Unto Others, Quick, Before They Form Unions or Other Types of Mobs, and Do Unto You.

  • fartknocker

    Here's a suggestion Representative Smegma: Why don't we end your free lifetime health care and pension? You know, for America.

    • Guppy

      You don't think he'll get benefits anyway on the other side of the revolving door?

    • mwittier

      FOR AMERCIA!!
      PROUDNESS!

  • mavenmaven

    The joke is that they convince all those unfortunate unemployed people to parrot this nonsense and vote GOP.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      The GOP. Working hard to make sure that the Rich keep the Stupid, stupid and that the Stupid keep the Rich, rich.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Fuck Utah. Fuck this guy, too.

    • spinozasgod

      also

  • Goonemeritus

    Alternately we could shoot unemployed people now and shoot employed people when they retire.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      If there was only some tasty, nutritious snack we could make out of those shot people. Hmmmmmm. What could that be? What could that be?

      • spinozasgod

        we could do a "logan's run" and eliminte retirment all together

    • spinozasgod

      stand your ground!

  • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

    In 2012, CBO projects revenues to equal 15.7% of GDP which is lower than the 18% historical average, but this is attributable to high unemployment and low workforce participation rates.

    Well, that'd be a straight-up lie right there.

    By 2017, CBO projects the economy will have recovered (apparently they are assuming Romney will get elected) and revenue will reach 18% of GDP under the existing tax structure.

    But wait! Aren't the CBO assuming that the business tax rate stays the same? You know, that rate which should be cut to encourage JERBS, according do his party's platform?

    Actually, I don't know why I still get so angry with these lying fuckballs by now. Maybe a new hobby is in order, like repeatedly diving into bramble bushes or something.

    • Steverino247

      Say "hi" to Br'er Rabbit if you see him.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      (Hugs Fukui-san) Because you have a heart, and your heart tells you that any kind of policy that inflicts suffering on many people to benefit a few is wrong. As long as you keep getting angry, you're still feeling, and your feelings are in working order.

      Personally, I find weeding this enormous garden quite therapeutic. I give the weeds names. Then I come inside and tell the partner "I just ripped Hitler, smashed Santorum, and hoed Romney out wholesale." It's very satisfying.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Chauncey? Chauncey Gardener? Is that you???

    • sullivanst

      But wait! Aren't the CBO assuming that the business tax rate stays the same? You know, that rate which should be cut to encourage JERBS, according do his party's platform?

      Even better, the CBO are assuming current law, not current policy. So, they're assuming the Bush tax cuts expire.

      May I recommend bashing your head against a brick wall as a hobby option?

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        Ah, yes, of course they are. I'd forgotten that part.

        That makes it worse.

        Repeatedly stabbing myself in the eyes with forks is sounding good.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    So wait….DURING the war, we weren't expected to sacrifice, like pay higher taxes or maybe have a gas tax imposed or, you know, RATION FUCKING NYLON STOCKINGS…but now that the war has ended and gee, we find ourselves in a fucking financial bind, the sacrifice we should be making is paying fewer taxes but paying them longer???????????????????????????????????

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Shhh. Quiet now. Have a relaxing dose of Jesus topped with a St Reagan and it'll all make sense.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Sorry. I got all stabby for a moment there.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          No apologies neccesary. I have been saying this (to any that would listen) that if you really want to "support the troops" maybe we should be suffering a bit for more for two wars (one of which shouldn't have been waged. Thank you fucking W.)

    • mwittier

      I have been doing my part, and having frequent blackouts.

  • savethispatient

    Yes, if people never retire the employment rates will obviously increase…

    • nounverb911

      Except for the college grads looking for their first jobs.

      • savethispatient

        Compulsory class for undergrads:
        Assassination 101: How to kill off an old worker and claim his/her job.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          I really think we ought to establish vocational colleges in piracy.

        • AbandonHope

          And thus, Star Trek's Mirror Universe was born.

      • savethispatient

        Also, yeah, I agree with you. Sarcasm tags missing on my post! :)

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You'd think someone who gets column inches in the Fourth Estate would see the flaw in that argument, but no. We're surrounded by idiots.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        We're surrounded by idiots posing as stenographers

        Just wanted to clarify that for ya.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Times like these I wish HTML Mencken would post one of his death-defying rants about the state of the media.

      • bobbert

        We are recurrently flooded by idiots.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Touche, my friend.

  • nounverb911

    Someone should aim that big Colorado wildfire at Utah.

    • sullivanst

      "Nevada called. It wants a firebreak. A big one. For safety."

  • mormos

    Hey guys, I read that and I think I heard something pop in my head, should I be worried? My arm is numb. My leg too. Sure am sleepy. I'm going to go lie down for a while okay?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Do you have health insurance? No? Okay, go lie down for a while, you'll be fine.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Just don't expect the rest of us to pay for taking your uninsured ass to the ER.

      (You say you have insurance? I don't think so–you just admitted to a pre-existing condition, bub.)

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    It's those poor people that are fucking everything up.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Sorry, my bad :(

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, I don't have to start my job as a WalMart greeter until I hit 72 now? Great! Once they take away my Medicare, my chances of living that long go down considerably anyway. What a relief!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      See? It's not as bad as you Debbie Downers keep saying it is. Once your Medicare's gone, you won't even have to worry about retirement!

  • JerkCade

    If he wants to reduce the deficit, why doesn't he just write a check?

  • edgydrifter

    Unemployed people may not be contributing to federal tax revenues, but they sure as shit aren't contributing to GDP either, then, are they? So how the fuck do "workforce participation rates" affect revenue as a % of GDP, Chaffetz? This guy must get cold sweats when Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader comes on the TV.

  • Billmatic

    You know what we should do we should just pay taxes directly to corporations and skip the middle man.

  • sharethegrief

    Someone needs to do a vasectomy on him with those giant scissors.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Actually, I've got something better here — a rusty nail. With any luck, neither we nor Mr. Chaffetz will ever have another minute's worry about his health.

  • Steverino247

    If people are not allowed to retire, there's no way unemployment is going to get better. Plus, I get nervous when the flight attendant is older than my mother.

    • sullivanst

      Flight attendants aren't allowed to retire as it is – any time they get close, their airline declares bankruptcy and raids the pension plan again. Plus, most airlines haven't been hiring flight attendants for years.

      Did I mention my sister-in-law currently has no idea when, or if, she'll be able to retire, because she's a flight attendant for American?

      • Jus_Wonderin

        My bud works for American. He says atleast they are culling the ranks from the top down this time. He is so happy that some of the rats (cronnies) got the axe as they come down the ladder.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Sorry about your sister-in-law. Those used to be decent jobs.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Flight attendant, hell! What about the fucking pilot?

      I get nervous when the person doing my colonoscopy has shaky hands. I can't help myself.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Don't forget all of the angry poor and starving youngs. They'll see me with my college education smiling and pushing carts about. I fully expect to be killed on my way to the car and freeing up another job for a boomer. That's a positive outcome, I guess.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    If, if Mitt wins it will be hilarious fun seeing all these 'Tards change their tunes to…."We shouldn't worry about the deficeit while we are in deepest recession since…evar. And, it is Obama's fault."

    • UnholyMoses

      As absurd as that sounds, that's what basically happened during Bush's reign — a time when not a single one of these fuckwits said a goddamn word about debt or deficits, even though we went from a SURPLUS to trillion $ deficits in a year, and rang up $6 TRILLION in debt.

      Oh, no. That's all Obama's fault … just like the bank bailouts that happened before he was even elected.

      Remember: Being a Republican means never ever needing to be factually, historically, mathematically, scientifically, or logically correct or consistent.

  • sullivanst

    Glad to see that I don't have to follow through on my promise to myself to eat my hat, since his idea was neither remotely original, nor remotely plausible.

  • Rotundo_

    Above all else, we must preserve the right of the wealthy to wage class warfare.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Won't someone PLEASE think of the corporations?

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    With all that recurrent flooding going on, will there be anyone left around to work when I'm 72?

  • StarsUponThars

    "Focus on entitlements" = "we don't care if grandma has to eat cat food when she's 80."

    • bureaucrap

      Oh, don't worry, she won't live that long. Part of the GOP plan along with raising the SS start date to 72, is decreasing life expectancy to 71.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I have to say, that if I was responsible for that spawn, he wouldn't have to worry about me…I'd off myself on my own.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Actually, she'll have to eat cat

    • anniegetyerfun

      Cat food is pricey! My grandmother eats bits of styrofoam from her popcorn ceilings. Low in calories, and easy on the false teeth.

      • mwittier

        My grandmother is too short for this, so she gnaws on Berber carpet. High in fiber, less neck strain.

  • owhatever

    No more Social Security! Remember how great America was before it started? The Great Depression and all? How can we penalize the Olson twins, who really need new shoes, by asking them to pay an extra penny in taxes, because that would really be TWO pennies. See the deception?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Chill_Bill

    Mormons also think that they can fix a dead economy by baptizing it.

  • Schmannnity

    Invisible Moroni hand of market to the rescue.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    What the fuck is with that picture? Why are they all so fucking happy? That is not sane, especially the crazy bitch with the giant scissors.

  • Warpde

    You know.
    For the last 30+ years I have played the lottery. Never won, still trying.
    Not for the idea of financial freedom. I have children, even a lottery wouldn't cure that.
    But to get into the mind of the rich, for a fleeting moment, and feel what it's like to say "Fuck the Poor"
    After that I'm pissing it away on coke and women.
    "Fuck the Kid's"

  • Ducksworthy

    Another Moron politician receiving his orders from Kolob. Maybe he should be Kodos to Willard's Kane.

  • elburritodeluxe

    And by 'protecting the elderly' I mean protecting them from food, shelter and medical care.

  • Sassomatic

    "low workforce participation rates" Is he referring to the idle rich or the lazy poors? I'm guessing the latter.

  • WhatTheHeck

    I’ve got a revenue stream for him, right here.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Is it gold?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Does it trickle down?

      • mwittier

        Especially at 72.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    It's a classic Catch-72.

  • Wonderthing

    I love how they've turned "entitlements" into a dirty word. "Those PAYMENTS you've been PAYING in? You silly suckers, that's like INSURANCE! When you need that shit, we'll stall, and call you names and hope you die before we have to pay out a dime. And by the way, you're a vampire for wanting it. You vampire. You leech. You low life scumbag. Vote for me."

    • sullivanst

      Yes, you'd never know they were entitlements in the same way that when you put your money in a bank account, you're entitled to take it out again.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Or how, on the other hand, the Defense Department is "entitled" to money they say they don't need.

  • anniegetyerfun

    A spending problem, not a revenue problem. It's weird, but I'm pretty sure that that is what my last boss told me when I asked for a raise so that I could afford my mortgage.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Sometimes, Jesus wants us to make sacrifices and sometimes those sacrifices mean using second amendment remedies when Grandma and Grandpa are no longer economically useful. Jesus believes that behind every poor, starving child or elderly American, there's a rich man being unfairly deprived of a tax cut. That's just not fair, rich people are more important than any of our earthly needs for food or shelter. If Jesus were alive today, he would be working as a hedge fund derivatives trader.

    • OurDailyBread

      And all God's children said amen.

  • metamarcisf

    Jello Biafra had the right idea when he composed that GOP fight song., "Kill the Poor"

  • Nostrildamus

    "Utah Republican …"

    You can just about skip the rest of the story.

    Though, to its credit, UT gets one more word than AZ.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Every butler I've ever seen on the TV was at least 65 years old. That would solve both the employment and housing crises for the Olds!

  • gizdal

    didn't Lord Cheney, an old GOP favorite, declare that DEFICITS DON'T MATTER!
    so why are all these jesus-jos.smith lovers getting upset about a deficit?

  • BlueStateLibel

    How about this: we lower the SS retirement age to 60, raise the cap on SS earnings that can be taxed, rescind the Bush tax cuts, and reinstate Glass-Steagal. There, economy all fixed. And ship Representative Jason Chaffet to Somalia where he can learn up close and personal about governments drowned in bathtubs.

  • ttommyunger

    "I didn't get a 'Harrumph' out of that guy!" – Governor LePetomane.

  • TootsStansbury

    The Paultards warring against the babbletards is funny. This shit is not. This is what it's all about. Fuck these entitled fuckers; they're not going to stop until the US is on par with Haiti.

  • mwittier

    The entitled are opposed to "entitlements."

    "You spit that tail out this instant, snake of logic!"

  • PhilippePetain

    Wait, I've got forty more years of this shit!? FUCKIT! I'M OUT!

  • TribecaMike

    Re the photo: That's by far the least popular exhibit at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, but the Kochs' paid for it so it'll be around and gathering dust for a long time.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    How about we squeeze the oil out of fat heads like Jason and use it to bring down the price of gasoline?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    so dude what you're saying is tax takes are at historic lows and we should taxes further.

    do i have that right?

  • bobbert

    Well, I'll agree with him on one point. He should have to wait until he's 72 before he gets any benefits from his elected-office retirement package.

  • snickersnack

    I can't even read these kinds of posts anymore. Let's just continually screw the majority of our population! It's super fun.

    I'm going to go pour myself another glass of wine now.

  • Negropolis

    You have to give it to Republicans; they are as consistent with their message as all hell. They don't have their members going off the reservation every other day to muse about whether there ideas are right or not. They will tell a lie until they are forced to stop and then turn on a dime to spew a new one when the orders are given.

  • http://wonkette.com/ outragedcitizen

    GOPbagger motto: I got mine fuck the rest of you!