NEW COLUMN!  10:30 am June 10, 2012

Sunday With Jamie Kilstein And The Lord: God Is Dead, Scott Walker Lives

by Jamie Kilstein

We will have smores?Scott Walker kept his seat and Ray Bradbury died last week, proving once and for all the world is a horrible place, and that if there is a God, he’s dead.

God is dead.

Now that it’s been a few days and we are done mourning (because a new episode of The Killing is on tonight!), let us look back and examine just who this low-life dribble of accident cum Scott Walker is! Join me!!

Scott Walker is the Hosni Mubarak of Wisconsin. Granted, Mubarak was appointed after his predecessor was gunned down, and Walker was voted in, but I like to pretend the good people of Wisconsin would never have done such a thing. Someone must have been shot, right? Right!

So Scott Walker comes into town as this sort of vacant idiot, and like all bullies do, realizes he needs to take a manly stance of some sort. In prison, to prove you are tough, you are supposed to find the biggest guy on day one and knock him out. To prove you are a tough guy as a Republican, you need to find the smallest or most isolated minority group and punch them in their tiny oppressed faces. Since hitting a child was out of the picture, he decided to crack down on unions, which most people didn’t even think exist anymore. Way to hold truth to power, asshole.

Walker wants to get rid of union’s right to collectively bargain, which is like trying to get a Republican to stop splooging all over old cowboy pictures of Ronald Reagan … it’s just what they do. Don’t ask them to stop. It gets weird. Walker wanted to take all negotiation rights away from the people of his state so if a rich cartoon-like villain of a CEO wanted to lay off half his workforce, cut pensions, or whatever, no one could fight back.

Except, Wisconsin fought back.

Wisconsin said fuck you and Wisconsin occupied. They occupied the state capitol and since anything with music in the background looks cooler and makes me cry– it looked like this.


Those people lost last week when the dickwad they were protesting won the election by a vote margin of $30 million to $3 million. Because that’s how America works now. It’s not about the will of the people, it’s about how much money you can raise from Richey McOilPants, who doesn’t even live in state.

So now Wisconsin’s man boy of a dictator will try to fuck over those dancing teachers, those young kids riddled in debt, and yes those fire fighters (SERIOUSLY DID YOU FUCKING SEE WHEN THEY CAME IN AND THERE WAS THE CLOSE UP OF THE FIRE HAT BEFORE THE CHORUS!!!!?? AHGHGJH!!!!!11111)

When you turn on the news, you won’t see those faces, you won’t hear from workers, you will see boring ass, straight-laced white nerds in suits talking about how this is going to affect the election, some shit about numbers, strategies, and how Scott Walker is a real straight shooter.

But they forget that those dancing people started a movement, they occupied before occupying was cool. They didn’t get a permit to march, and they didn’t leave. They weren’t a bunch of dirty hippies; they were a bunch of regular people who were really fucking mad. And they forced a spoiled little shit to face a recall. He won. But he won because of money, because of voter suppression tactics, and because his opponent sucked as well. Barrett just stared off into space, refusing to defend the principles which got him there in the first place. Just collecting my check, ma’am, cause I’m a Democrat.

Revolutions don’t happen overnight. Mubarak sucked for a long time before the revolution happened. Put these fuckers on notice. Don’t give up when it gets hard. Get louder. Get angrier. When Ray Bradbury was 90 he said “I think our country is in need of a revolution.” He also said we should get rid of cell phones, but c’mon, the dude was fucking old. Let’s honor at least half of his dying wish and start by going back and watching that video again.

Jamie Kilstein is a skinny vegan standup comedian. He is on Twitter. He has a podcast with Allison Kilkenny. Someday, he will fight Jonah Goldberg.

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

Well, Good Morning, Rabble-Rousers!

We are the Village Green Preservation Society!

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Late to the party again. Good morning or whatever, CRE.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Good Whatever to you too, MB!

smashedinhat June 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

Aggressive sign language is so kewl!

weejee June 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

Sweet post Rebecca Jamie (silly me I went with who was initially listed as the author)

♪♫ Nobody living can ever stop me,
As I go walking that freedom highway;
Nobody living can ever make me turn back
This land was made for you and me. ♫♪

ThundercatHo June 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

It was suggested to me last night by an extremely charming and good-looking gentleman (Capnfatback? It was loud.) that Walker may be Rmoney's veepster. Thoughts?

swordfis June 10, 2012 at 11:16 am

From your mouth to GD's ears.

Rotundo_ June 10, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Doubtful since he is under investigation and the "Walker Team" while he was county exec in Milwaukee has something like 15 felony charges filed against it already. As Nixon found with Spiro Agnew, you want someone a little more boyscout-esque (even though Scooter *is* an Eagle Scout.

Guppy June 10, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Investigatory investigations of a sitting governor didn't stop McCain from picking Palin.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Snotty Walker is a Northern Republican, just like Mittens. He brings nothing to the table, no constituency that doesn't overlap Mittens'. Right now the noise is in favour of Rubio. And I think Rand Paul just stuck a firecracker up his own ass.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 8:09 pm

If Romney picks Rubio, his campaign is doomed. He might as well pick a Mes'can as veep. Mes'can. Cuban. Whatever–they are the same thing to the GOP base.
Shit, they already think Romney's too liberal & he's a Mormon to boot. Yeah, they'll tell pollsters & reporters that they'll support him since he's the nominee because anyone's better than Obama. But they've just had to bite bullet since LubeFecalFrothy & Newty Pooty dropped out.
IMO, I think Romney has hated having to try to pander to the base.
He hates them but he needs their votes.
They hate him but they have no other Presidential candidate.
Helluva bind for them.
But if he picks Rubio? It's over.

TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Is there room on the ticket for two smoldering-eyed sex objects?

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Yes, if by "ticket", you mean "my house".
*scoots over on couch*

TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Oh gorsh (flutter flutter)…

Warpde June 10, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I think the Kok Bro's have some other role for the Walkster in Mittens inner circle.
Secretary of Labor or Secretary of the Department of the Interior would be my guess.
Can't see them wasting that kind of destructive talent on the VP slot.
Best to put a man in a position you've paid and groomed him for.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:25 pm

"some other role for the Walkster in Mittens inner circle. [...] Secretary of Labor"

You may have intended this as snark, but union-busting Scotty as Secretary of Labor is exactly the kind of unintentional irony that these people do all the time, since they lack the slightest shred of self-knowledge.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 7:59 pm

A bit like Dumbya putting a Xtian fundamentalist fucknut on the FDA advisory committee reviewing contraceptives.

Hell, putting Scalia on the S.Ct. was pretty much the same thing.

Callyson June 10, 2012 at 5:21 pm

As the Russians say…no words, only gestures.

MilwaukeeKent June 11, 2012 at 12:29 am

I'd like to see him become such a rock star, such a folk hero to the Tea Party that they practically force him on Romney, investigations be damned. Then it all unravels on them both. Wishful thinking.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

Just imagine the VP debate. Assuming Walker even showed up instead of just crying about imaginary "out of state money".

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:05 am

I'd love nothing more than for Mittens to put up that limp-lipped, crossed-eyed, badger-looking motherfucker.

But, alas, this isn't going to happen. The GOP neither wants nor needs a "game changer", this time around. Obama is a known quantity this go-around, and after what happened with Palin, they'll be happy if they'll never ever again have to hear the term "game changer." So, they'll match up with Romney someone who will equal him in boringness, and they'll do what they've been doing: chipping away at the president in hopes that when October arrives, it'll be a close enough race where their Kochwhores can drop millions of dollars into ground games places like Virginia and Ohio and Florida and drag him across the finish line in the electoral college.

Truth be told, though, as close as this could look in the popular vote, Romney's climb up to an electoral college victory is steeper than anyone is letting on. Romney has to flip A LOT of states it looks like he won't be flipping.

Dashboard Buddha June 11, 2012 at 5:42 am

Never underestimate the power of a big Koch.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 8:08 am

True, Koch is, indeed, a helluva drug in the words of Rick James, or Dave Chappelle impersonating Rick James.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 8:03 pm

"Romney has to flip A LOT of states it looks like he won't be flipping."

Let's not forget, we're talking about "Mitt the Flip" Romney here. This guy could (and probably would) tell the NAACP that he's black, without batting an eyelash.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 10:52 pm

The problem is that the NAACP would have to believe him.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 12, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Just because they're in the room, doesn't make them his intended audience.

larrykat June 11, 2012 at 11:55 am

If that were to happen, and by some mischance Romeny would win, that would leave Wisconsin the hands of the one of the most vapid and cloyingly stupid people on the face of the Earth, and her name is Rebecca Kleefisch. A former news reporter (you know, the local human interest kind) who felt empowered to start screeching at tea party meetings when she saw it was OK for Palin to do that. She says her main qualification for Lt. Governor is that she's a "mom". I'm not making this shit up.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Maybe Mitt should just go straight to Kleefisch for Veepisch.

Where does Wisconsin get these names from, anyhow?

CapnRadio June 11, 2012 at 11:27 pm

It was suggested to me last night by an extremely charming and good-looking gentleman (Capnfatback? It was loud.)

Wow. The smart thing to do would be to say nothing and let you go on imagining this dashing gent's face every time you read one of my posts. Alas, alack, and Alabama, I was not at the soiree. But I may still very well be charming and good-looking, after a fashion.

Stupid personal moral code.

JustPixelz June 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

Democrats stayed home in 2010. Repubicans put right-wing honeypots on the ballot (e.g. "we like the Second Amendment") and their voters showed up. Now they are passing all kinds of shit about abortion, unions, voting rights, abortion, taxes and also abortion. Plus they now get to draw the congressional district boundaries in most states. As frosting on the cake, they say "fuck you libtards, all our success is God's will". If it weren't so hard to vote these days, I'd do something about it.

sbj1964 June 10, 2012 at 11:43 am

Most Americans have not voted since Prom Queen 1984.

Spurning Beer June 10, 2012 at 7:23 pm

If you don't count American Idolatry and Dancing with the Stars, that is.

Warpde June 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

You missed Abortion.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:24 am

No, pixelz did not miss abortion.

spinozasgod June 10, 2012 at 11:43 pm

the recall trun out was very high, and walker won by quite a bit. It's sadly no fluke, most americans want a far right government.

MilwaukeeKent June 11, 2012 at 12:18 am

Actually Barrett got about 146,000 more votes and Walker got almost 200,000 more than in 2010. The gap in 2010 between the two was 125,000, this time it was about 175k. This was higher turnout by something near ten percent (7-8). The GOP has found very successful ways to manipulate low-info voters, and many people just couldn't make the connection between this guy being recalled and the future of the middle class. I'm trying to figure out what they did on the ground because that's supposed to be our game.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:25 am

Turn out wasn't "very high", though it was higher in 2010. Though, I guess you could argue it was high for a special election. It was considerably lower than 2008, which are the kind of numbers Dems needed to compete.

Diabeetis June 11, 2012 at 8:22 pm

I don't think it's that so much as it is they want things both ways.

JustPixelz June 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

Senator Rand Paul said "Mr. President, did you hear Scott Walker won in a landslide?". Walker got 53% vs 46% for Barrett. A landslide? That happens to be the same margin of victory Obama had over McCain. But the Repubicans never once behaved as though "the people have spoken"; they dug in and fought every him at every turn.

Can we get Joe Biden to tell Mitch McConnell to go fuck himself?

Vecchiojohn June 10, 2012 at 11:03 am

Unleash Biden!

BarackMyWorld June 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

But Scott Walker didn't have ACORN and the librul media helping him!

valthemus June 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Republicans consider a 51-49 win a "mandate." To them, 53-46 is indeed a landslide.

Chow Yun Flat June 10, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Can we get Joe Biden to tell Mitch McConnell to go fuck himself?

We certainly couldn't stop him.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 10, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I'll save Biden the trouble: "Go fuck yourself, McConnell."

Anything else you need done?

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

"Senator Rand Paul said "Mr. President, did you hear Scott Walker won in a landslide?". Walker got 53% vs 46% for Barrett. A landslide?"

Perhaps he meant to call it a "backslide"?

BlueStateLibel June 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

I thought Walker was pretty much history when that DJ punked him and recorded him basically on his knees asking boss Koch what he wanted him to do. But that probably puts him on top of Mtt Rmoney's VP list.

Jimmyone June 10, 2012 at 11:18 am

Walker is still being investigated for being the head of a criminal enterprise. One can only hope. It seems a few of these republican Governors and a couple of Senators have some criminal baggage attached to them as well.
I wonder if anyone thought they would not do anything criminal while in office.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

BSL, I don't think that will have any impact on Scotty's chances. What *will* have impact is that he does not bring a sizable constituency of his own. His support is in the same constituency as Romney's. Romney needs someone who will bring one or more of these groups to the polls to vote for him: (1) Women; (2) Latinos; (3) Teabaggers; (4) Youngz. I don't think Romney can get a significant piece of the Latino vote, and Rubio can't help him with it although the Repugs might try to delude themselves about this. And according to the InnerToobz, the Youngz are breaking two-to-one for Obama. At this point it's anybody's guess, I think, but I welcome everyone's input.

BlueStateLibel June 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

A young, female, Latino teabagger – that would be the Republican unicorn and about as easy to find. My hunch is it'll be some dull, forgettable mid-western guy preaching austerity for the little people like the rest of them.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Rob Portman. T-Pawzzzzzzzzzz is making mouth movements about it too. I just can't see them attracting anyone of any caliber. The first-tier Republican candidates didn't even step into the race, why should they step into the Veep position?

Veritas78 June 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm

¡Lo siento—ella es una lesbiana!

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Certainly cooked Paul Babeu's chances.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Seriously, who the hell votes based on a preference for the VP candidate? Especially in a campaign based entirely on Obama-hating?

The trick will be to avoid a choice that's going to cost them votes. After the incomprehensible fiasco of 2008, the GOP is going to be really, really conservative about this. Plain vanilla conservative T-Pawzzzzz would be perfectly unobjectionable, and therefore pefect.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I thought they'd try to find a Southern candidate. Do you think they've got the South so safely locked up that they can risk a Portman or a T-Paw?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 10, 2012 at 8:53 pm

"…the Youngz are breaking two-to-one for Obama."

The youngz stayed home in droves during the WI recall. Let's hope that was due to the incompetence/ineptitude of Barrett and the WI Dems. Why the hell it isn't four-to-one is also a disturbing mystery.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Really? I must go check. It depressed me so much I swore off reading about it for a few days. Obama's ahead in WI, the Dems have the Legislature, and Snotty's on the receiving end of multiple investigations. Will it be enough.

As for the two-to-one figures, remember, ~30% of this country is clinically insane/Republican. They've got kids, too.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 10, 2012 at 11:10 am
Callyson June 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I seriously love Tom Toles. He always nails it.

Beowoof June 10, 2012 at 12:49 pm

Toles is the man. I have been a fan of his since he was with the Buffalo News back in the 70's.

trampndirtdown June 10, 2012 at 11:14 am

Dammit Rebecca you've now got me marching around the house singing Joe Hill songs.

Vecchiojohn June 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

I never died, says I. I'm just biding my time.
– God

fartknocker June 10, 2012 at 11:15 am

The next few months will be telling. Between the Supreme Court ruling on universal health care and the strategy of unlimited campaign finance in the Scott Walker case, I may be forced to purchase the French version of Rosetta Stone and ask Canada if I can be a citizen. I'm now starting to get robocalls on the November election – in fucking June. I might as well go to Walmart and start shopping for fucking Christmas decorations.

sbj1964 June 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

Time for another REVOLUTION! Viva the People!

viennawoods13 June 10, 2012 at 10:06 pm

We're stuck with Stephen "Whitewalker" Harper til 2015 at least. You might want to rethink that plan.

swordfis June 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

Great post.

PubOption June 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

Was that Martina Navratilova with the megaphone, at about 1:45?

Callyson June 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Yes, it was. Wish she'd hit a backhanded serve to Scotty's cojones.

In a totally non – violent way of course…

LetUsBray June 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Right: Hit a backhanded serve to Scotty's cojones WITH VOTES.

flamingpdog June 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Except the WITH VOTES part didn't work last week. She needs to hit him WITH MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

PubOption June 10, 2012 at 11:21 am

$30 million to $3 million. The united citizens are overcome by Citizens United.

sbj1964 June 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

The best leaders money can buy.The new American way?No just more of the same.Dec 21 can't come soon enough.All hail our new Alien overlords!

LetUsBray June 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

After all these years and after all the experience getting burned wouldn't you expect that at some fucking point people would notice all the slime ads and propaganda are bullshit and stop listening to it?

Things will never get any better as long as people keep voting to give themselves a swift kick in the nuts.

PubOption June 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Crossroads GPS must have realized that nobody takes any notice of their ads. They are using the name New Majority Agenda (I think) in St Louis.

KotBR June 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm

New Majority Agenda is what's popping up here in Ohio as well.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm
aklibtard June 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Yea but only $20 million of it came from out of state.

sbj1964 June 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

Scott Walker, is like the evil emperor from StarWars. I wonder if he has his own DEATH STAR?Feel the Power of the Darkside.I mean the GOP.

deanbooth June 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I felt a great disturbance in the Force… as if millions of dollars suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Rotundo_ June 10, 2012 at 12:37 pm

No, Scooter is comedy relief in the form of a puppet whose strings are being pulled by evil emperors. Scooter is evil, but in the same sense as Dubya was: gullible and very amenable to doing what he is told, so long as his pockets are kept full and he is treated as someone with power. Money is tweaking Scooter's strings, and he is just a puppet. Any damned fool from the GOP ranks would do the same.

trampndirtdown June 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm
chascates June 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

It's not the beginning of the end but maybe it's the end of the beginning.

GeneralLerong June 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

Perfect Sunday morning hangover music:

Flo Reece Proves Anyone Can Sing

Don't scab for the bosses,
Don't listen to their lies.
Us poor folks haven't got a chance
Unless we organize

Prairie dogs unite!

FraAnima June 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

There was a noticeable dearth of snark in this post. It makes me want to scream 'Death to the fascist insects that prey upon the Proletariat!'

Figuratively of course.

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Death to the fascist insects…with votes!

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Or powdered borax. I understand you can get rid of cockroaches that way.

MosesInvests June 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Diatomaceous earth.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:08 am

You read Richard Fagerlund The Bug Man too, huh?

starfanglednut June 10, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Or you can just skullfuck them.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:09 am

Girl! Didn't we say we were gonna be all nice and loving and not use that word or Editrix would totally spank our butts.

Oh, wait. You're *into* that stuff, ain'tcha?

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Beat the hind leg of the running dog!

FraAnima June 10, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Ah yes. Running dog imperialist lackey! That needs to return to the lexicon.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

I used to call my ex a running dog imperialist lackey. We really need to bring back that entire vocabulary, man.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 7:38 pm

'I used to call my ex a running dog imperialist lackey."
Is that your idea of pillow talk?

cheetojeebus June 10, 2012 at 11:51 am

GOP: The apotheosis of douche.

flamingpdog June 10, 2012 at 11:52 am

Fuck Walker. In the ass. With a cheese grater.

Fuck Rmoney. In the ass. With an Ebola-infected cheese grater.

I gotz chilluns and grandchillunz who are NOT going to live in a Rethugliklan dystopia. In the early 2000s, Dubya's Vulcans talked about "The Long War" in the Middle East. The had the right war, but in the wrong place. The Long War is here, now, and I ain't giving up until the Rethugs are all lying in a crispy heap, at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. With a whole mess of cheese graters.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Thank you. You are hereby awarded the Gold Star and purple sash of Bravery and Determination and are an inspiration to us all.

I'm not behind you. I'm right alongside, and I'm not going to let them destroy any more of our civil society.

TruckNutz, also.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

BALLS, not Bawls!

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

(Hugs the pdog) THIS. Totes this.

Now, let's get out there and KICK some ASS. With votes.

Spurning Beer June 10, 2012 at 7:31 pm

It's raining here, a lot. I saw a poll online, so I'm going to stay in and CLICK SOME ASS. With votes.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 7:33 pm

You looking at porn, too?

redarmybarbie June 11, 2012 at 1:20 am

So, who else wants to be a member of the Angry Gays of America?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Hey! Didn't you used to be RedArmy ZOMbie?

redarmybarbie June 12, 2012 at 5:18 am

Oh, YOU'RE one to talk!

In seriousness though, I heard about Barb's soon-to-be granddaughter and her possibly difficulty when she's born. So, as with others on teh Wonkettes, I have changed my name to include Barb as a show of support (which is why Historicat is now HistoriBarb, FYI).

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

Great post, but don't you have any pictures of kitties that look like Hitler? Union-bashing LSM and crosseyed ferret-faced criminals don't really get my Sunday morning funny juices flowing. If I wanted to be outraged and disgusted first thing in the morning, I'd turn on Meet the Press and watch David Gregory lick some Republican's anus.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Yep. I quit watching that show. Tim Russert does a slow rotisserie roll in his grave, self-basting in the in Republiscum juices that ooze from the Sunday morning sleaze-hour that MTP has become.

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

I had to quit watching all of it. Cannot watch teevee news. Got rid of the $100/mo teevee subscriptions altogether, because It Is All Terrible. I used to start every day with 3 hours of Morning Blow, after which I'd have to get up and go to work and try not to murder everybody everyday, then end every day with Keith and Rachel and a hose leading to the exhaust pipe. A tremendous weight has been lifted. I may live to see 45.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Yeah I had to get rid of the teev altogether many years ago because I was walking around in a slow simmer all the time. At least now I can monitor my intake.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Ha! I used to be a cable news junkie too. I've watched about 15 minutes of cable news in the last 3 years. 10 years ago it was actually 4+hrs/day of FOX-fuckin'-News for me. But I still get that 'What Is Wrong With People And I Hate Them' slow-drip medication (poison?) from my 50+hrs/wk of NPR, which I listen to all day every day in my cube.

The funny thing? It's not even a liberal or conservative source – it's just fucking NEWS, or talking about "how to make a coffee mug from dirt," or "the oldest living armadillo," or "coping with itchy anus". When they DO talk politics, they usually have Joe Moonbat from Mother Jones vs. Joe Conservaturd from Human Events to cancel each other out… "We Report. You Decide [who the most out-of-touch jerkoff is today]."

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:51 pm

"coping with itchy anus"

*announcer voice*
They call it…
It's a fungus, and it's found in the anus or rectum.
Do you have it?
Find out after these messages from our sponsors.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 10, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Imagine if this whole ditch-the-teevee thing were to catch on?

Mine got tossed out three months ago, and I can't say I miss it.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 11:38 pm

There's a Springsteen song that I don't care for called something, '57 channels and nothing on'… That was 20 yrs ago. Now it's more like 557 channels and nothing on.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 10:19 pm

What sent me over the edge was the coverage of the hurricane Katrina back in 2005. Fox News had some dipshit talking head on who said that New Orleans would fully recover & build casinos & become the new Las Vegas.
At the time, I thought: WTF!
I can't recall his name but I'm sure the dumbass is still blowing hot air for the Fox News Network.

I don't have cable. In some ways, I'm out of the loop. But when I hear about what's in the loop, I'm thankful I'm not in it.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Ew, I always wondered about that guy's habits.

Do you think he'd lick my cats' if I asked real nice?

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Your cats must have an elevated requirement for anus-licking. Like 97th percentile. My cats seem to be able to satisfy their anus-licking needs by themselves.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:54 pm

It depends. Cats can take or leave the whole anus-licking thing, unless there's somebody over your house who hates cats. Then they have to position themselves right near the cat-hater and anus-lick.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 11:40 pm

This is true. They'll even try to anus-lick on the hater's lap, if at all possible.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Some of these fat fuckers are too fat to reach their sweet spot. I refuse to discuss how their behinds get cleaned. Let's just say it'll be a cold day in hell before I clean cat anus.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm

You seem a little tense, Rebecca. Why not come over and watch Television? We have Four Walls. Why, I just saw 3 cartoon clowns with axes chopping off each others limbs, to immense incoming tides of laughter!

Just remember: If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war.

Somebody wrote that, in a book. I don't remember who, or which one because I burned it along with the others..

new_pic_for_NEWTer June 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Thanks for reminding me of that passage – here's more:

Give the people contests they win by remembering the words to more popular songs or the names of state capitals or how much corn Iowa grew last year. Cram them full of noncombustible data, chock them so damned full of 'facts' they feel stuffed, but absolutely 'brilliant' with information. Then they'll feel they're thinking, they'll get a sense of motion without moving. And they'll be happy, because facts of that sort don't change. Don't give them any slippery stuff like philosophy or sociology to tie things up with

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 12:48 pm

That was my second choice! I wanted to keep the word count down, but an excellent quote nonetheless.

It is very disconcerting just how relevant this book remains, today.

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 1:18 pm

The smell of burned book is not unlike human hair…

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

You can climb a mountain, you can swim the sea, you can Jump Into the Fire but you'll never be free.

Thanks for reminding me of that XTC album. Excellent.

Wile E. Quixote June 10, 2012 at 4:12 pm

A key difference between liberals and conservatives is that liberals read books like 1984, Fahrenheit 451 and The Handmaid's Tale they're as a warning. When conservatives read them they're seen as a blueprint.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 4:20 pm

That is a very good point and eminently quotable. Thank you.

Barb June 10, 2012 at 12:07 pm

This story was such a pleasant surprise for me when I returned home from Sunday worship services, thank-you Rebecca.

I trust that your church experience was as fulfilling as mine. We wouldn't want people to think you're a godless whore, would we?

I'm just fucking with ya! Put up those pictures of last night's par-tay and show us what real fun looks like.

nounverb911 June 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

When did Rebecca change her name to Jamie Kilstein?

Barb June 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

She changed it last night at the par-tay. "Wow, that gal sure can kill steins of beer"

Maybe it's "Mrs. Jamie Kilstein" now.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Is it just me, or was Rebecca on this posts header an hour ago?

flamingpdog June 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

It's not just you. I had the confuses because her name was on the header, but the footer was all about Kilstein.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Good to know, thanks. It's been a long time since I had to ask anyone "Woah! Do you see it too!?"

flamingpdog June 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Oh, Jeebus, Barb, think of teh oldz here at teh Wonkette and their poor hearts before saying things like you went to church this morning!

Barb June 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Nah, I didn't go to church. I'm just chilling after a lumberjack breakfast and thinking about going to the Farmer's Market for some corn.

BerkeleyBear June 10, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Just came back from one of the farmer's markets here with half a flat of Hood strawberries among other goodies. Nothing better than a lazy Sunday of snark and berries.

Barb June 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Sounds yum, Berkeley. They were out of corn and now I am cranky.

freakishlywrong June 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Great post; that awful cross-eyed weasel can suck my dick.

Kidneys4Sale June 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

You know, I'm not much for catchin. But if I knew that's the next place it was going, I could be down for a little buttsechs.

An_Outhouse June 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Why does everybody keep callimg Jamie Rebecca? Is that his stage name?

Tommmcattt June 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Isn't he a woman? I thought Jaime was a woman.

weejee June 10, 2012 at 1:17 pm

see above…

Blueb4sunrise June 10, 2012 at 12:13 pm

He's just rinsing in a colander.

flamingpdog June 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

And using a cheese grater instead of a falafel loofah.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

That is so wonderfully apropos of absolutely nothing in particular.

spinozasgod June 10, 2012 at 11:46 pm

all behold his noodly appendages…..

smashedinhat June 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Appropos of nothing and just to further get your blood up:

Now, get some bacon & eggs in yer belly.

Barb June 10, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It's blocked in my country! The video will not load. We must invade a country and start a senseless war to show them that we don't tolerate stuff like this.

Bacon and dippy eggs sound good.

GeneralLerong June 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm


OK, I'm ready for those runny eggs now.

Dunno bout the bacon yet.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Now, how was I to know you'd use the same exact phrase as me? By *reading* all the comments, of course!

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2012 at 12:34 pm

God is dead? Guess it's time for me to fire up the blender. ¿Dónde está el tequila? Que va a ser un domingo maravilloso, Don Julio.

fartknocker June 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Carnitas with some onion and cilantro barkeep to help me wash down that mighty fine beverage.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 8:04 pm


Seriously, TacoBell has raped the American psyche with their tacos.

Tacos sans cilantro are a crime against the whole of humanity, as well as our lizard people overlords. When the mole people tunnel up, when the aliens land, when the mutants emerge from the radioactive wasteland after nuclear war, when the zombies come hunting for brains, they will encounter a Taco Bell and scream out "WHERE IS THE CILANTRO!!!!"

Doktor Zoom June 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Say, Baldar? You wouldn't happen to go by the 'nym "Thebewilderness" over at "Passthedouchey," would you? Or is it merely a gravatar coincidence?

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2012 at 5:37 pm

coincidence. this is the only political board where I post.

Doktor Zoom June 10, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Thought that might be the case–the kittenshark gravatar threw me.

BaldarTFlagass June 10, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I thieved it from somebody on another board several years ago…

Kidneys4Sale June 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

And remeber, they may take our land. They may take our dignity. But they have also bought…OUR FREEEDUMBZ!

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!1! I already had on face paint and a kilt and was mooning passersby, but now I'M WEAPONIZING!!!!1!!!1

Goonemeritus June 10, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Sure we can see this as a setback and sit in our room cutting ourselves just to feel something. Well sister I say NO this isn’t a setback it’s a significant move forward in the race to the bottom. No society ever really changes until it finds itself in the metaphorical gutter damp with its own urine.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I'm starting to think the same way… but I really don't want to go back to the (even worse) wage slavery and despair of the early twentieth century. But instead of people realizing how our country USED to be, let's fire more teachers and make history even less accessible.


not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Is it the one where Gordon Ramsey shouts at a bunch of Mormon midgets while shilling for K-Mart and SCJohnson, a Family Company? As long as we still have DirectTV, Plastic Garbage Islands, and Fuddrucker's, America will be a wonderful place to live. Wouldn't it be swell if Ken came back and did a nice guest post about the Exurban Sprawl Dystopia Wasteland, Decaying Big Box Nightmares, and The Three Poisons? That would totally round out my weekend.

Designer_Radio June 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I miss Ken. I'm not a veteran Wonketeer, but when Ken was "on", I felt like I was having a mind-meld moment as I read his screed.

Is he still writing scathing condemnations anywhere?

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:54 pm

I piss myself in terror at the thought.

snickersnack June 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That video fucking broke my heart.

badgitator June 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Shh….don't give Scott Walker any tips for how to survive in prison!

Stevola June 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Don't you think he should pick a fight with the biggest, baddest guy in there? You know, to show how tough he is. That'd be my tip.

Yes, it's in the post. I just like the mental image it conjures.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:59 pm

I only hope it happens within range of a security camera.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Where the unionized prison guards can see watch.

BarackMyWorld June 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Look on the bright side…only 2 more years until the next chance to vote against Scott Walker.

scvirginia June 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

How often can Cheeseheads have recall elections for the same person? Is there a limit of one per year? Many Wiscon-sinners voted for Walker just so they could stop getting robo-calls day & night, but if they realized the robo-calls were just gonna keep coming until they made the correct decision in the voting booth…? I'm just askin'.

BarackMyWorld June 11, 2012 at 1:51 am

No, Wisconsin will have its regularly scheduled gubernatorial election in 2014.

imissopus June 10, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Scott Walker may very well be sitting in a jail cell before the next election. We can only hope.

TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 10:34 pm

Not if the grand jury gets to vote first.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:35 am

If he hasn't resigned in disgrace over John Doe by then. I really have a feeling he may end up pulling a Palin, "for freedom" or some shit. There is a whole diversionary program for crooked Repubican governors, now, and you make a lot more money in it than governing. It's called Fox News. Tonette could even hawk whatever it is that she hawks.

succalina June 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I hate that pasty weasel. However, I am in LOVE with Tammy Baldwin!

scvirginia June 10, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Weasel libel! And maybe paste libel, also, too?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

And they forced a spoiled little shit to face a recall. He won. But he won because of money, because of voter suppression tactics, and because his opponent sucked as well.

Walker got a percentage gain from election to election. Did you not think of this, Democrats, when you sent the same turd back for the flush?

scvirginia June 10, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Amen and Hallelujah! The only reason anyone wanted wassizname to win was because he wasn't named Walker.

Wile E. Quixote June 10, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Democrats don't think of this. The entire "leadership" of the Democratic party is and has been incompetent for over 30 years. Let's look at the 1984 presidential election. Who do the Democrats nominate? Who was the chosen one that the leadership fobbed off on the party faithful? Fucking Walter Mondale, a colorless, centrist hack of a apparatchik from Minnesota who's biggest accomplishment in the Senate was voting for dairy subsidies. Mondale had been chosen as VP by Jimmy Carter, who was one of the most incompetent campaigners in history. Carter barely beat Gerry Ford in 1976, nearly lost the nomination to Ted Kennedy in 1980 and got his ass handed to him by Reagan in 1980. So hey, let's nominate his VP candidate in 1984 because that's what the voters want, more of the Carter administration.

If the voters didn't want Barrett in 2010 why did anyone think they'd want him in 2012? The only politician in recent history who's pulled that kind of hat trick off is Richard Nixon, who came back in 1968 after losing the 1960 presidential election and the 1962 California gubernatorial election (and having a massive, televised hissy fit and promising that "you won't have Nixon to kick around any more", ah, if only that had been true). Gore might have been able to campaign in 2004 against Bush if he had wanted to, but that's about it.

James Michael Curley June 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I have far from great love for Mondale, but he was the most important organizer in the effort to prevail in Gideon v. Wainwright, 372 U.S. 335 by organizing Friend of the Court briefs by a dozen state Attorney Generals. Gideon was, and remains, the most significant US Supreme Court decision since 1900.

Wile E. Quixote June 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I didn't know that. That's a big plus in my book. I'd love to get together with you and discuss this over a beer to find out why you think that Gideon v. Wainwright was the most significant Supreme Court decision since 1900. On the side of court decisions that increased individual liberty autonomy I might disagree and offer up Brown v. Kansas Board of Education, Baker v. Carr and Reynolds v. Sims, Miranda v. Arizona, West Coast Hotel v. Parrish Loving v. Virginia, Brandenburg v. Ohio, Katz v. United States, Griswold v. Connecticut and Roe v. Wade. On the side of court decisions that increased state power at the expense of individual liberty I'd offer up Olmsted v. United States (which was overturned by Katz), Korematsu v. United States, Hirabayashi v. United States, Lochner v. New York (overturned by Parrish), Schenck v. United States and the egregious Bush v. Gore.

It's amazing how many of the cases that expanded individual liberty were decided by the Warren Court. Have you read Justice For All: Earl Warren and the Nation He Made by Jim Newton. It's a fantastic book about Warren that gets at the heart of what the Warren court did by examining Warren's early life and his career as a prosecutor, attorney general of California and governor of California (including his advocacy for the Japanese American internment and support for Executive Order 9066).

IANAL (hah, I said "anal") but one of the things that impressed me about this book and about Warren is that he wasn't just, as conservatives have accused him, pulling these decisions out of his ass. Earl Warren had more respect for the principle of stare decisis than Tony Scalia, Clarence Thomas, William Rehnquist, John Roberts, Sammy Alito ever have, despite their claims of reverence for the principle and had far more respect for the idea and ideals of individual liberty than anyone appointed since.

doloras June 10, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Also, Earl Warren was a male stripper.

BarackMyWorld June 11, 2012 at 1:54 am

The party's national leadership, whether they are entitled to criticism or not, wasn't the ones who decided who the recall opponent should be. There was a statewide primary. Wisconsin Democrats chose their own standard-bearer via majority rule.

Diabeetis June 11, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I agree with this, although I think the Democratic Party started going downhill roughly 40 years ago, when labor issues and economic justice became less of a concern for the party.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 2:09 am

Someone want to tell me who they should have put up instead of Barrett? There is probably only one guy in that entire state who could have beaten Walker (Russ Feingold), and he wasn't running, and even if he had I'm not convinced.

I'm really getting tired of people thinking that this was the central problem of the race. This had nearly nothing to do with who they put up. This race ended the minute some of those stupid fuckers who (some of who even signed the petition, I'm sure) wanted to take some kind of self-serving moral stand against the very idea of a recall apart from criminal reasons. Against the backdrop of these kind of senseless voters, no Democrat stood a chance, Barrett or not.

CrunchyKnee June 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Mr. Kilstein, your post went down swimmingly with my black coffee and morning angst. Viva!

weejee June 10, 2012 at 2:27 pm


We haven't received a follow-up photo postie on the Netroots Nation 2012 meet & greet. Did you guys run into James O'Keefe and you're all in gaol after giving him 16 swirlies and turban wedgie to dry his hair?

mwittier June 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Ghost Bradbury made me drop my cellphone in a pitcher of ice water last night. So far, he's a lot more effective than Ghost Breitbart. Although Ghost Bradbury's doddering elderhead is too small for plagiarized armor.

Anyway, leave my phone alone Ray, and I promise I'll be more Revolting in the future.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Scott Walker may have won the battle, but Weedlord Bonerhitler is coming and boy is he pissed!

imissopus June 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm

On a related note, Rmoney's response to the recall was this: Obama “wants another stimulus; he wants to hire more government workers. He says we need more firemen, more policemen, more teachers. Did he not get the message of Wisconsin? The American people did. It’s time for us to cut back on government and help the American people.”

Guess he didn't notice that public-safety unions were exempted from ol' Scotty's union-busting. Also that exit polls showed that sixty percent of those who voted for Walker said they were voting against the idea of a recall in the first place, which they feel should only be a referendum on criminal behavior (too bad the recall organizers didn't wait six months, they could have campaigned on that.)

Scotty himself disagreed with Mitt today, saying that Romney needs to spend less time criticizing Obama's plans and more time outlining his own, and making sure they are big and bold because people want tough reformers who will take action, blah blah blah. Note to Scotty: your party is running the wrong candidate for that. Rmoney does not have any big and bold ideas of his own. And the big and bold ideas you have totally suck. Good luck in federal prison, though.

BerkeleyBear June 10, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I had the same reaction – if Romney needs a positive message, someone better give it to him. Because he is clueless on that – and he's never had to try. When he ran against Ted Kennedy, it was purely as an anti-establishment hack (lost). He basically promised to carry on his predecessor's second term in Mass only better (after basically blackmailing her out of office). In 2008 he was trying to be the conservative alternative to McCain and in 2012 he's the anti-Obama. He's even admitted he doesn't want to give any details on what he actually plans, presumably because then people might decide they don't like how those ideas sound.

imissopus June 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm

What drives me nuts is that I don't think it will matter. A good chunk of the electorate may be so focused on the perception that Obama is some sort of socialist who has destroyed America that they would vote for a Japanese sex doll if it was the Republican candidate. I don't trust that the media is going to do much work to point out how full of shit Romney is, how he really has no ideas, how the Paul Ryan plan he has embraced is basically Ayn Rand's wet dream. He's going to be able to cruise while the media frames this as a referendum on the last four years, not how we might want things to look in the next four.

I hope I'm wrong, though. Charlie Pierce over at Esquire lives in MA and has been following Mittens for twenty years, and he has written that in his Senate and gubernatorial elections, the more the voters got to know Mittens, the more they grew to loathe him. I hope that happens here. The more I learn about the guy, the more I think he would be a terrible president.

GhostBuggy June 11, 2012 at 12:30 am

Did someone mention a sex doll? And where could one meet this naughty little candidate? I ask for a friend.

Warpde June 10, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Not to worry about Scotty in prison.
With them droopy eye's he will make friends…

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 7:47 pm

He has a face that a mother would punch.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 11:04 pm

"Obama “wants another stimulus; he wants to hire more government workers."

Yeah, *that*'ll scare off the voters. the last thing any out-of-work schmoe would want to hear is that they're hiring more government workers.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:37 am

Guess he didn't notice that public-safety unions were exempted from ol' Scotty's union-busting.

Romney didn't miss anything. He's a serial liar that will do and say anything.

imissopus June 11, 2012 at 1:40 am

Believe me, my tongue was firmly planted in my cheek when I typed that.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 2:16 am

I figured as such, but I wanted to make my own point that this man is a total sociopath. It's the one thing that has disturbed me most about him the more we've come to know of him. Lying is as easy for him as breathing. Not that lying is unusual for politics, but even the more cynical ones often show some kind of conscience when they are trying to explain their lies. I remember when he put out his first add against the president, and everyone called him on it (which was a surprise), and he totally smiled and let the press know that he had completely taken the president's words out of context, chuckled a little and then just smiled. No remorse, no look that would say "I know I did something wrong", just a cold, soulless chuckle and smile.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 7:53 am

I figured as such, but I wanted to make my own point that this man is a total sociopath.

When you not only torture the family pet, not only make jokes about it years later, but also do not "get" why normal people were horrified about someone acting like a serial killer, then any other sociopathic behavior is just "icing".

MadBrahms June 10, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I want you to be right, but Barrett lost by more points after the union uprising than before it. imissopus (see post above) does have a big piece in the recall-only-for-criminal behavior bit, but the polls also showed that the public in Wisconsin really doesn't seem to care for unions. There's got to be some way to reach out and smash through the conservative ideology at work here, but I'm not sure "get angrier" is the solution, even though I AM angrier.

weejee June 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Don't get angry, get even – hijack their bratwurst.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 8:27 pm

*kssh* HQ, we have a 419 in progress, a brat-jacking on claymore street.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

We need mustard — repeat, mustard.

BerkeleyBear June 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm

The disconnect is that the polls show people support the idea of unions but also support the elimination of collective bargaining. The disconnect arises from the perception that unions have great benefits relative to the rest of us and that they are rife with corruption, laziness and entitlement. I don't know about the first two, but the last definitely has a kernel of truth, if only because union workers do know their jobs are more secure than others. But that should be what we all aspire to – freedom from the fear of being shitcanned that is behind most of the obsequious toadying that passes for "customer service" these days.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:43 am

This simply isn't true. Exits showed collective bargaining split at 50/50, and 50% of voters had a favorable view of public workers, while just 50% had an unfavorable view. So, no, this wasn't about Wisconsin really not liking unions. It's clear from exists that it really was people being against the idea of a recall that decided this race.

Sure, there needs to be some serious education about the benefits of unions, again, but that's not what lost of us this race in particular. For as much fun as I've had at Wisconsins's expense, lately, it still ain't Alabama.

MadBrahms June 11, 2012 at 1:50 am

checks exit poll results Yes, it does look 50%. I am a gloomy gus, and with bad stats in this instance based on anecdotal (read: wrong) evidence.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 2:17 am

Meant to say that only 40% of voters had an unfavorable view of public workers vs. 50% who had favorable views.

HistoriBarb June 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

As a non-Wisconsinite, to me the worst part of the fucking recall election was seeing Grover fucking Norquist's smug tweets. I loathe that slimy toad …

Warpde June 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

You are to kind in your analogy of Grover.
Should have left it a slimy.
Toad implies some degree of intelligence.

HistoriBarb June 11, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I apologize to any toads who may have been offended by my unfair comparison …

Warpde June 11, 2012 at 5:47 pm

We toads accept your apology ;)
We understand evolution is a bitch.
Yet, unlike many on the right, we have evolved beyond Norquislime.
Reminds us too much of that Soilent Green thingy.

valthemus June 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

What happens if you bargain collectively without the government's permission? Do you get free room, board and substandard health care in one of our fine correctional facilities that seem to correct so very few before they are released?

smashedinhat June 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Wonder what Scott would be like on Bath Salts. Leaves one feeling cold, no?

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Maybe we could give somebody on his staff bath salts. Scotty with his face eaten off could only be an improvement.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Alice Cooper libel!

ttommyunger June 10, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Scott Walker is just a tool. Big Money is the problem. Big Money will always find their front men to do their dirty work for them…always. Our job is to resist; in every way we can.

ElPinche June 10, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Don't forget swing voters…those dumb fuckers will believe anything. Big Money counts on those sponges.

ttommyunger June 10, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Well, dumbness, yes, of course; it goes without saying.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Well, it's 5:13 PM EDT now and there are still no Decadence and Debauchery photos posted from last night. This makes me sad.

GeneralLerong June 10, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Yeah, where's the Riley Groping?

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 7:55 pm

I want pics of drunken, shirtless male Wonketters.
My partner left for his overnight shift 2 hrs ago, I've already went through my porn, & I need something new for 'batin'.

Blueb4sunrise June 10, 2012 at 8:09 pm

To tide you over, maybe try the tiny photos on the Facebook Likes Wonkette.
Not that I'm doing that at the moment….. Or ever did.

Currently there's attractive persons of both sexes and a few pets as well.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 8:10 pm

You do realize that nothing good can come of this, do you not?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I strongly suspect that shirtless Wonkers will be very hard to ….
eh, never mind.

ElPinche June 10, 2012 at 5:40 pm

I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for a good skullfucking….wait….

glamourdammerung June 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm

I am still surprised that no one seems to be hammering on the part about Citizens United where no one knows if foreigners are buying our elections.

MilwaukeeKent June 10, 2012 at 7:14 pm

You mean the part where theoretically say MEK or Iran, North Korea, Al Queda ,Dictator X or, hell, the IRA or the Russian Maf can donate heavily to a SuperPAC or spend millions on "issue ads" saying "Call Senator Zheeboy Dipshit at 800-555-5555 and tell him we don't need this unnecessary military expenditure…" as long as they don't say "vote for Senator Zheeboy Dipshit", you mean that part?
And if you CAN limit such political spending (speech/$) then you can regulate political ad expenditures, yeah, not so much hammering as you'd think. I'm also surprised.

glamourdammerung June 10, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Exactly. And I think this is the sort of point that pretty much would resonate with a huge majority of the public.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Don't go giving Karl Rove ideas. He'll have the mouthbreathers conviced there's Kenyan money behind ever Obama PAC.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 10:46 pm

The sad part is that you are probably correct.

Warpde June 10, 2012 at 5:57 pm

God is dead?
Well shit on a stick.
Now I have to revise my belief he was never alive.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm

If Pascal were still around he'd be really pissed off.

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 8:31 pm

Philosoraptor asks: If god is dead, is he in heaven now?

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Good question. Philosocephalpod wonders: Is God so powerful that he can create Heaven so exclusive even He can't get in?

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 9:04 pm

That opens up a lot of theological territory. Like, can god get bounced out of his own club like lucifer?

johnnyzhivago June 10, 2012 at 6:55 pm

OT – but what isn't here today??? Thanks heavens for kittens! Have you seen my latest kittens, btw??? – no Kittlers in this brood, I'm afraid to say….

Chow Yun Flat June 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Kilstein-Goldberg–the pundit version of Holmes-Leon Spinks as long as Jonah has someone in his corner to throw in the towel before Jamie beats him half to death.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 11:28 pm


Chow Yun Flat June 11, 2012 at 1:23 am

Once Holmes got his overhand straight right going like a piston it was either stop the fight or RIP Leon.

I think Jonah Goldberg vs. Jamie Kilstein might actually be worse–Jonah is such a humorless asshole and therefore an inviting and defenseless target.

Doktor Zoom June 10, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Kid Zoom here, and I cannot believe I'm saying this, but I'm proud of my dad writing a successful post. I'm just worried he'll write another one and then I'll have to tell people my dad's a blogger.

TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Dads say the darndest things. And good on him.

imissopus June 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Could be worse. You could be Breitbart's kid.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 8:30 pm

My dad could post lengthy diatribes about how the gub'mint is going to take everyone's guns, give money to TBN because their mission is God-blessed, & how there needs to be more John Wayne movies on the TV.

I love my dad but a lot of his thinking is so misguided & has been so exploited by so many assholes simply to deplete his checking accounts/ruin his credit.

Ugh. The Tonys are on. Maybe I'll watch that & take a drink every time someone thanks their "partner" to make myself feel better.

not that Radio June 10, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Wait till he finds out that you hijacked his login!

Anyway, telling people that your dad is a blogger is no worse than telling people that he's a trekkie or a comic book nerd. You turned out okay.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Hi, Kid Zoom!

Don't be ashamed of your father. He's a good, well learned man with a wonderful sharp wit. The fact that he's a Known Blogger is not as shameful today as it's been in the past.
There's treatment now, fine new neurotransmitter blockers and support groups. Studies have shown that Blogging is not so much as a personal failing as it is a genetic predisposition, an inherent chronic condition that, while severe, can be managed.
Most Bloggers are able to lead perfectly normal lives and become upstanding, contributing members of Society.
In addition, there are few venues left in Civil society today where one can engage in discourse at length about TruckNutz.

Sincerely, CRE

glamourdammerung June 10, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Someday, he will fight Jonah Goldberg.

Only if Kilstein is about 100 pounds, female, and outnumbered at least 6-1. Republicans tend to only attack folks in those circumstances, other than the shooting rampages and random bombings of course.

redarmybarbie June 11, 2012 at 1:49 am

I think you give them too much credit.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 10, 2012 at 9:45 pm

OT, but the would-be buyers of that hunk of photoshopped plagiarized FrightArt have other, equally-hideous options.

And I thought my ridiculous gag about a Dumbya bronze was just that.

bobbert June 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm


TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 10:29 pm

"Mounted on Black Granite" because, hell, that's what Rodin and Michelangelo would have done.

Man, that is one ugly objet d'fart.

not that Radio June 11, 2012 at 12:16 am

The discriminating wingnut art investor could collect some of these fine coins, and know that their "art" will continue to gain value forever…

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm

It looks like her head has been photoshopped onto the body of a beaver – or perhaps a malnourished grizzly bear. Is our friend Bugnon behind this?

redarmybarbie June 11, 2012 at 1:51 am

Fine art, my ass!

Chet Kincaid June 11, 2012 at 9:46 am

Goddamn, somebody overcooked that yam!

rocktonsam June 10, 2012 at 10:35 pm

visit our state parks and the dells please, brewers tix are really cheap also, summerfest just around the corner too

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 12:44 am

Time to put collective bargaining on the ballot, something that would very likely win. People need to be engaged the whole rest of the year. Keep registering people to vote, keep digging for more and better candidates for local state house races, etc…

Scott Walker & Co. spent over 30 million dollars to keep his office and lose the state senate. Let's make him keep spending for the rest of his term, or at least until the federal courts nab his ass on corruption charges.

Ohio mobilized its unions to fight againt bad ideas instead of bad people and won, resoundingly. Ohio is not more liberal than Wisconsin. You guys can do it, you just have to start fighting smarter. Collective bargaining is leading 59% to 32% here in Michigan with a 49-37 split on it when asked about putting it in the state constitution. Let's start getting this kind of stuff on the ballot like they do the gay marriage bullshit. Fuck Scott Walker; it's time that we take back our rights and the other things we've worked so hard for, the Scott Walkers of the world or not.

DahBoner June 11, 2012 at 5:42 am

" He also said we should get rid of cell phones, but c’mon, the dude was fucking old."

Bradbury also said the internet was "meaningless".

Hey! Just like Ron Paul, when you make up shit for a living, most of what you say is going to be shit…

thatsitfortheother1 June 11, 2012 at 5:55 am

…the next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under that garbage."

This is the closest explanation I can find to explain how Ron Paul's name managed to get affixed to those racist newsletters.

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 7:49 am

I have yet to get an actual answer from a Paultard about how if Paul is actually not a racist (or even just blatantly catering to them) then how being too incompetent to manage a small newsletter somehow a qualification for being president.

thatsitfortheother1 June 11, 2012 at 8:47 am


smokefilledroommate June 11, 2012 at 5:42 am

Sheesh–you kill a stein and then you kill Kenny? You bastards !

Monsieur_Grumpe June 11, 2012 at 8:53 am

Walker is an idiot and now the GOP worships him. Sound familiar?

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Sounds inevitable.

Diabeetis June 11, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I think a general strike would have made more of an impact than the recall (even though the gutless union leadership wouldn't sign off on it), but why *did* Wisconsin Democrats choose the same guy who lost to Walker the last time?

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 11:46 am

It's on my list.

MittBorg June 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

I do that all the time. And the answer is usually "No."

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Philosocephalpod , chuckles and would like to see some heavenly Bouncer try.

God: "Say hello to my Little Fren'!" *Thundering Crack of Doom*

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Badassfully, you type like an Elcor.

Butch_Wagstaff June 10, 2012 at 10:04 pm

God's farts.
What do they smell like? Roses? Lavender? Or the Pope's breath?
Discuss & debate, class.
I'll be in the teacher's lounge sippin' on whiskey & having a smoke if you need me.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 9:56 pm

God's Navel!

Wait, does God have a Navel?

Why does God have a Navel!?

BoatOfVelociraptors June 10, 2012 at 10:08 pm

God's army needed admiral Noah?

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 10:12 pm

No idea, but here's what they Look Like.

C_R_Eature June 10, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Admiral? did he graduate from the Celestial Navel Academy?

BerkeleyBear June 10, 2012 at 10:37 pm

:(, Barb. I was disappointed the game guy was out of rabbit, and the cured meat stand was out of all sorts of goodies, but I did buy a ridiculously expensive grass fed yak steak (normally I'd never pay what I did for that sucker, but my wife told me to be daring – jokes on her!) and some rendered duck fat to cook with. This town/region is just full of crazy people doing their couple of weird things really well.

tessiee June 10, 2012 at 10:48 pm

"Oh, Miss Crabtree…"

TribecaMike June 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

She can call me Chubsy-Ubsy any day of the week.

MilwaukeeKent June 11, 2012 at 12:36 am

That MIGHT be true for their base, but Cuban-Americans from Florida register little emotion for the vast majority of Latinos. Then again we're talking about the GOP that responded to Barack Obama by appointing a pitchman like Michael Steele ("I mean, he's Black, right?" "Sure, boss, just what we need.").

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:40 am

Oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez oh pleez


Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 1:03 am

That MIGHT be true for their base, but Cuban-Americans from Florida register little emotion for the vast majority of Latinos.

You are being far too kind? They fucking hate their guts, and the feeling is mutual since a lot of them think they are white (in the whole "we've finally arrived and we're better than you filthy Messicans" sort of way), anyway.

MilwaukeeKent June 11, 2012 at 1:17 am

Two or three points taken. Rewrite: The vast majority of :Latinos fucking hate Cuban-Americans from Florida.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:32 am

Well … yeah, hon, what's YOURS?

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:42 am

You do know the other side of that, right? Small minds seldom differ? I can never decide which one to pick, honest.

redarmybarbie June 11, 2012 at 1:43 am

Yar, does it get ANY better than THAT?!?!

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 2:12 am

I just noticed I put in a question mark after my first sentence, and I have no idea how it got there, because that is not even a question. lol

MilwaukeeKent June 11, 2012 at 2:26 am

It's creeping Up Speak — I'm blond? I went to work today? I put on shoes? –The phenomena has grown legs and is moving around on its own? It started with college-age upper middle-class women in California and spread to East Coast universities? And then into the general population?

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 8:02 am

I've said it before, but I wouldn't be surprised if they found bodies in the backyard of his many homes. He's the kind of guy that when the media comes to visit his neighbors they are on their porches shaking their heads at the camera: "He was just a nice man. Church-going, family loving, just a total normal guy. Well, he was a little quiet…"

I'm only half joking. lol Seriously, something about this guy rubs me in a wrong way that even Bush and McCain and Dole and Daddy Bush, etc. didn't.

Negropolis June 11, 2012 at 8:03 am

Actually, I think it's a Canadian thing? We're you upwardly inflect the end of every sentence, as if you're asking a question?

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 8:08 am

You are being unfair with your accusations against Bishop Romney. After all, there is an obvious prerequisite to baptizing dead people.

But yeah, even if I supported all the vileness that is the Party of Limbaugh, I would not be able to pull the lever for someone that was that nonchalant about harming their pets. As I have said before here, I am not comfortable giving folks that act like serial killers access to nukes.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Mine *love* to do that. There's nothing sadder than watching some friend or neighbour who can't stand the little fuckers trying desperately to pretend it isn't happening while Bandicoot is sitting right on them, making slurpy noises. And MAN, he gets into enjoying it like never before.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Southern goobers will vote for zombie Joe Stalin before giving Obama the time of day. No worries there.

The GOOPers will sell their souls to me for Ohio, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. My negotiating teams are already on standby.

MittBorg June 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

So, business is good, Biely?

I don't think their chances are good in Ohio, Michigan, or Pennsylvania, for several reasons, but I appreciate your viewpoint, since you have an, ah, interest, as it were, in the outcome. (adjusts heat shields)

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm

The longer the odds, the harder the bargain. (I'm thinking I might have a shot at Mitt's planet.)

Biel_ze_Bubba June 11, 2012 at 10:33 pm

He was pretty nonchalant about assaulting his classmates – why is the damned dog thing still the #1 story with this creep?

not that Radio June 11, 2012 at 10:38 pm

God can fart in two directions at once? I guess he's God; he can do anything. But relativistic jets of methane?

Don't know whether you saw THIS. Weedlord Bonerhitler, Unmasked!

glamourdammerung June 11, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Most people can understand beating up a classmate, even while agreeing it was a pretty lousy thing to do. I could even understand if someone could excuse it in their mind by "maybe the guy provoked it too" or even "boys will be boys".

But the dog thing is just completely out of line because there is nothing the dog could have done to justify it. The fact he was an adult that should have known better at that point counts against him too.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 5:24 am

A. We've observed several of these Diety Cosmoflatulence events and, while no one's sure what is actually happening there are several competing theories:
* God has multiple anuses. This one is pure speculation,as we've not been able to directly observe His structure due to all the intervening gas and dust.
* God is experiencing Quantum superposition and flipping between two directional states while Flatulating.
* God's having a Fart Contest with a visiting Deity from another sphere in the Multiverse.
* He's God. There are some things Man is not meant to know.

B. I haven't been following these Current Events but this is Classic:
"I am called Weedlord because I slurp mad rips off a 50-foot bong called The Phallus of Zeus, for which I must rent a cherry picker. I am called Bonerhitler because my boner is a dangerously charismatic force of oppression and destruction."
That doesn't sound like our Mittborg – who I understand is the Real Weedlord Bonerhitler – but perhaps we all can be Weedlord Bonerhitler, like Spartacus!

not that Radio June 12, 2012 at 10:08 am

I'm Brian, and so is my wife!

The cherry picker detail totally makes it. I would expect nothing less from Weedlord Bonerhitler.

If God were truly omnivorous, he would metabolize the farts one step further and eject something that would get us drunk. Behold — the Interstellar Methanol Maser — Coherent Intoxicating God Farts!

MittBorg June 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm

I know, pretty cheeky of me, eh?

That's very sweet, RAB. Thanks for letting me know.

C_R_Eature June 12, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Yes, the rental cherry-picker and the Phallus of Zeus got to me and I'm still laughing, off and on.

That's a fine research article and thanks lots for the link. I'll have to admit that the very first thing that leaped into my mind when I saw the juxtaposition of alcohol and Interstellar Masers was what a raucous drunken party full of highly advanced Aliens would likely do with them. the second thing I thought of was What I'd likely do with one. Then I read the paper of course.
Seriously, thanks. Good to see Arecibo getting well utilized.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: