"begone insubstantial coward"

Paultards Traumatized By Rand Paul’s Romney Endorsement


Well, tragedy has struck in Ron Paul’s kingdom. Rand Paul endorsed Mitt Romney Thursday night on Sean Hannity’s show, presumably because he has been promised some high-profile position in Mitt’s Barbie and Ken’s Dream House™ cabinet. While those pioneering philosophers over at the Washington Post seriously ponder “what” Rand Paul’s endorsement “means” (absolute f#*&-all), other, better people have begun to tentatively trawl The Daily Paul for some commenter takes on what it means for Ron Paul’s supporters. The Atlantic Wire’s exceedingly polite collection: “Rand Paul is dead to me,” “All he had to do was not open his mouth,” and “We will never vote for Mitt Romney or your flimsy son.” We can and will do better than this.

So, here we go:

would ron paul being the vp help.????? they have little power and no influence over policy unless… uh romney were to die.

Rand is a war monger and a neo con. He has betrayed us all.

Romney created a job!!! the one Rand just gave Hannity…of the Blow type…probably created a B job for rand in that 30 minute meeting too.

It’s one thing to criticize political candidates, but another to claim apocalypse without the slighest suggestion of a solution: begone, insubstantial coward!


There’s no indication that Dr. Ron did anything wrong here; if anything he likely supported his son’s right to be free.

The only way I’d support Romney is if he did the right thing and backed down to make way for President Ron Paul. There’s NO other way.

I’ve officially stopped following the “race”…as I now know, your votes count for nothing…it’s all about who licks and kisses the hand of power and Rand has tasted the nectar early and often and cannot help himself…his carnal mind has taken over.

Shove it up your ass, Rand.

Let’s shove Mitt up Rand’s ass, problem solved.

[The Atlantic Wire, The Daily Paul]

About the author

Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

View all articles by Liz Colville
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  1. Barb

    Terrific! Now I just need to know who Dan Quayle and Perez Hilton will be endorsing and my life will be complete.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      But what does Sarah Palin think about this? I MUST know.

      Betcha Obama put Rand up to this.

        1. Butch_Wagstaff

          I was just hopin' for a new helpin' of word salad with Palin dressing, that's all.

          1. Barb

            Palin dressing? Roguefort? It's blue (state) cheese dressing because she sucks so much she makes us win.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Did Mitt baptize Aqua Buddha yet?

      Aqua Buddha would have to be dead first.

      Though I asked the Mormons that came by to pester me the other day if they have gotten to bin Laden yet and they finally seem to have left me alone.

    2. bagofmice

      I think it would be a bit late to douse water upon the aqua Buddha, even posthumously.

  2. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Yes, anonymous vitriol and sore loser spirit will cause a delegate reversal and declare Ron the winner… but only if they don't upgrade Romney's firmware before the convention.

  3. nounverb911

    "would ron paul being the vp help.????? they have little power and no influence over policy unless… uh romney were to die."
    Secret Service on line three….

  4. OkieDokieDog

    Oh please. STFU Paultards. Even that teabagger sucking idiot son knows that his bigger racist and misogynistic idiot old man ain't never ever gonna be POTUS.

  5. elburritodeluxe

    In the shadows behind him… is that Barack Obama?! With a gun? Take to the hills, Paultards! The end times have come!

  6. prommie

    I look at that face and all I can think is "fucking dipshit. Dip-mother-fucking-shit. DIPSHIT"

  7. barto

    They seem to be taking it pretty well, all things considered. I think Rand can safely GAAHHH THIS JUST IN RAND PAUL PUMMELLED TO DEATH BY ANGRY MOB CARRYING SIGNS OF HIS FATHER

  8. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Romney created a job!!! the one Rand just gave Hannity…of the Blow type…probably created a B job for rand in that 30 minute meeting too.

    Hannity Libel!!!

    Like he has a cock to suck.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Is it classic avatar day? I'd get my old one out too — if this weren't already it.

  9. MissTaken


    I can only accurately judge Rand Paul's happiness by if he's showing sideboob or not.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Suddenly I have a picture in my head of Judy Jetson showing side boob, and my Friday has become a little better.

  10. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, the Bilderbergs meet, and the next week Rand Paul is forced onto Hannity to "endorse" Mitt Romney.

    We are through the looking glass children!

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      How about the gay one….um, whathisname? Fred…Fred…um, Krueger? No, that's not it. Cager? Charger? Burger?
      Wait, is he still even runnin'?

  11. EatsBabyDingos

    This reminds me of my Uncle Deitrich at Sears in about 1975. His English was terrible, and his accent heavy, and the blushing girl at the menswear counter pretended not understand him when he said "I vunt yur buut secks. Please be giving me da buut secks now." Boot socks. Dr. Paul's Boot Socks.

  12. MissTaken

    There’s no indication that Dr. Ron did anything wrong here; if anything he likely supported his son’s right to be free.

    Yes, Dr Ron (!) knows that sometimes you have to stand back and let your children make their mistakes. Fly Lil Randbird, Fly!

    1. ThundercatHo

      As fast as you can, right into a large window

      "Mom, whaddya want me to do with this dead guy layin' on the deck?"
      "Just throw him in the woods. The racoons will eat him."

  13. CapnRadio

    it’s all about who licks and kisses the hand of power and Rand has tasted the nectar early and often and cannot help himself…his carnal mind has taken over.

    I'm going to assume that this in in reference to mama Carol Paul's breastfeeding.

  14. Texan_Bulldog

    Umm…sounds like some of their tin foil helmets might be on a little too tight.

  15. Angry_Marmot

    Let’s shove Mitt up Rand’s ass, problem solved.

    Now I'm imagining Mitt flapping his arms and struggling for breath with his head rammed up Rand Paul's ass. And Rand running down the street trying to get away, with the rest of Mitt trailing behind him like the best dressed dingleberry in the history of BYU.
    I'm not complaining, mind. I just want to put up bleachers and nail the snowcone concession before someone else thinks of this. Job creator!

    1. CapnRadio

      Why stop there? Let's shove that admixture up Chris Christie's ass to create the world's least edible turducken!

    2. Fairtackle

      I was thinking that shoving both Mitt and Ron up Rand's ass would be like Thunderdome. Two men enter, one man leaves.

  16. flamingpdog

    No snark, I'm at work with lots of work to do still, and I'm too lazy to look for backup linkies to support my point, but any RonPaultard who actually went back and looked at old Rand Paul news stories would know that the son of Paul is no fucking libertarian at all, but a good old, mainline big business Republican ho who always comes down on the side of the Republican insiders when it comes time to vote. Once daddyPaul kicks the bucket, Paultards are gonna be shit outta luck.

    1. MissTaken

      WAHT?! Teh Good Dr Ron will use the power of the INVISIBLE HAND to create a life-sustaining vessel, um, maybe a BLIMP!1 He LIVES FREE so he will NEVAH DIE!!1!11

  17. weejee


    Might make some forget about McWalnutz Veepidential brain fart.

    1. bagofmice

      I know we all ready have the undies, but where are we going to find 5000 sneakers at this time of night, Brain?

  18. UnholyMoses

    I think it speaks volumes about Ron that Red Raul Rupaul Rand endorsed someone Not Ron.

    Of course, I still have no idea why people who hate the government keep trying to get jobs in government. It's like someone who hates cars becoming an auto mechanic.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    So Ron Paul's followers — who endorse a philosophy of the supremacy of self-interest — are all aghast that Krugerrand Paul has acted in a way that they deem self-interested? It speaks to the failure of this adolescent worldview — which can pretty much be written out on a notecard — that its adherents don't understand how it works.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Well that's sort of the problem with ideology generally, isn't it? Absolute purity is almost always in conflict with realistic behavior. Which is why ideological zealots are always happiest when the world goes to hell and they can stand by the sideline and scream about how it is all everyone else's fault for not being pure enough.

  20. Antispandex

    OK, that first one is a little scarey, considering who we're dealing with here. " …unless… uh romney were to die." Are you kidding me? Time for Mitt to head for the door…or maybe the guy has a legitmate point. Who are we to judge?

    1. Negropolis

      This is not new. I've seen this as a Paulite talking point across the net, and always as a low-grade threat.

  21. Arken


  22. ttommyunger

    A man so crippling white he's translucent, named after South African Currency, representing a population of ignorant white bigots. The mind boggles.

  23. BaldarTFlagass

    "(absolute f#*&-all),"
    WTF? This is not Wonkette. What the fuck have you done with Wonkette?

    1. OneYieldRegular

      That looks awfully appealing on a Friday afternoon, but it would be so much better if one didn't have to suit up and if the liquid was gin instead of seawater.

      1. C_R_Eature

        "If the Ocean was Whiskey
        and I was a Duck
        I'd dive to the bottom
        and never come up."

  24. smokefilledroommate

    "I just canceled my voter registration card. I will NEVER vote for anybody again. Screw'em all. I will never work for or contribute to any political figure or party again." –Desert Rat


  25. ManchuCandidate

    What a sight, ladies and gentlemen. What a sight. The Paultard Blimp seems to circling the Wal de mort parking area now. I guess it's looking for a place to land. No! Something just came out of the back of the blimp. It's a dark object, perhaps a turkey plummeting to the earth from only two thousand feet in the air… There's a third… No parachutes yet… Those can't be turkeys. I can't tell just yet what they are but… Oh my God! They're Paultards! Oh no! Johnny can you get this? Oh, they're crashing to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! This is terrible! Everyone's running around pushing each other. Oh my goodness! Oh, the… um… humanity?!?!! People are running about. The Paultards are hitting the ground like sacks of blubber! Folks, I don't know how much longer… The crowd is running for their lives. I think I'm going to step inside. I can't stand here and watch this anymore. No, I can't go in there. Children are searching for their mothers and oh, not since the Paultard 2nd Life Farce has there been anything like this. I don't know how much longer I can hold my position here, Johnny. The crowd…

  26. OneYieldRegular

    How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.

    How denser than a serpent's tooth it is to have an unruly mob of violently deluded libertarians militantly typing Orly-Taitz-level insanity in ALL CAPS.

  27. poorgradstudent

    This comes as a surprise to them? Prince Rand has been selling out his father's cult for a long time now. Maybe if they looked away from their copies of "World of Warcraft" and the "Atlas Shrugged" movie porn parody* they'd know better.

    *Please tell me this exists thx.

        1. emmelemm

          Feel free to Google "Atlas Shrugged porn parody" – some of us don't want that in our Google search history.

          1. poorgradstudent

            Of course I did! Nothing came up except a few blog and message board posts speculating that "Atlas Shrugged" might already qualify as a porn (naturally)…

  28. poorgradstudent

    BTW every time you use a term like "Paultard" the libs at places like Jezebel, Shakespeare's Sister, and DailyKos cry…which is one of the reasons I love my Wonkette.

  29. sbj1964

    The GOP is like watching the Butt Monkey Olympics.They are a shoe in for the Gold metal in shit tossing.

  30. rickmaci

    Too bad. Their dreams of goose stepping their way down Pennsylvania Ave in January have been crushed by the Romoneybot.

  31. Ducksworthy

    Randy has converted from his worship of Aqua Buddha to the worship of Divine Emperor Willard of Kolob.

  32. Arken

    I've been reading through the Daily Paul thread where they're all gnashing their teeth and came across this post which just has to be read in its entirety to be appreciated.

    Apparently, Rand Paul endorsing Mitt is part of Ron Paul's Master Plan because psychology.

    1. Arken

      Oh dear lord, this one's even better:

      "I think one of the reasons Ron Paul really talks about energy is because he KNOWS there are other free energy technologies the global elite have supressed, but here you have Rand agreeing with neo-con Hannity about wanting more fracking. It's almost as if Hannity was trying to piss us Ron Paul supporters off with even bringing up fracking because he probably knows its bad for water supplys. Im going out on a limb there, but Ron Paul knows what the hell is going on, his energy policy is ultimately to bring free and SAFE energy into the world, not supress it. His son apparently wants to destroy the world with this endles fracking. IGNORANCE!"

      Ron Paul KNOWS there are perpetual motion machines! HE KNOWS!!!

      1. NellCote71

        What's a Google Soul Swap? I need to know. I think I have already performed it.

    2. Negropolis

      At least in spirit, this is no more crazy than insane Obama worshippers — particularly during the 2008 primaries — and their "11 dimensional chess" bullshit.

      1. Wile E. Quixote

        Thank you. I get so fucking tired of hearing about 11 dimensional chess. It's such bullshit because whenever it's trotted out it's usually because President Obama has done something stupid and the Obots are trying to justify it instead of up and saying "Damn. Looks like he fucked that one up." It's also bullshit because let's face it, you don't have to play 11 dimensional chess to outwit the Republicans, you don't even have to play regular two dimensional chess, checkers will work nicely as long as you can keep them from overturning the board and having a tantrum (their legislative strategy since 2008) or eating the checkers or shoving them up their noses.

  33. Dr_pangloss

    Can we please have a Jim Jones like Paultard dieoff sometime soon? Like Drinking Bleach while reading Ayn Rand on the Transcontinental Railway? Something? Anyone?

  34. fitley

    Oh great if Mitt doesn't win who will be Ambassador to Tardsylvannia? Now who's laughing?

  35. vinny9698

    I live in Ron Paul's district. When Hurricane Ike hit, they were inline to get that evil socialist FEMA money like the rest of us. So much for principles.

  36. TribecaMike

    So the guy spends all of his waking hours playing Candy Land. What's wrong with that, leotard liberals?

  37. mistabrad

    I have a high school friend who is a big-time Paul follower, and often see her cult-like RP rantings on facebook. The other day, she and others were basically asking each other what to think about this development and what other things Mitt would need to do to get their support. One of them was making "Judge" Andrew Napolitano the AG or putting him on the Supreme Court.

    Then she was actually asking people (mind you, this was on Austin Petersen from Freedomworks' status) what position she was supposed to have on one particular issue (abortion, I think it was).

    Ironic how those claiming they want liberty and the freedom to choose what they want in every area of life need to ask someone else what they are required to believe on an issue.

  38. lulzmonger

    Poutrage-junkies gotta poutrage-junky.


    More like "Paultards Traumatized By [insert random noun here]" amirite?

    Just think: a mere timely & regular jot of Thorazine where it's needed would put everyone else out of their misery.

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