Consider your mind blown.

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader “Doktor Zoom.” Enjoy!

So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew
Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven,
ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a “masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?” The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, “The Painting Obama Fears?” Yeah, it’s not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website — no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. (NOW WITH UPDATE BELOW!)

The similarity to the Assassin’s Creed character (© 2010, Ubisoft Entertainment) was first noted by an alert commenter on Mock, Paper, Scissors, and was shortly thereafter posted to your Wonkette by new commenter “PNW_Kurt” in Sunday’s Breitbart-as-a-Nordic-Knight thread; longtime Wonketeer Biel_ze_Bubba was also, as far as I can tell, the first to identify the stock image source of the soul-patched Breitbart. The discovery clears up a couple of mysteries.

For one thing, since the image is flipped, that explains why, as another Mock, Paper, Scissors reader noticed, the brave knight “buckle[s] his belts on the wrong side – like a girl.” More to the point, it’s finally clear why Ghost Breitbart has such tiny little T-Rex arms: While Mr. Bugnon did a pretty nifty job recoloring and embellishing parts of Ubisoft’s copyrighted digital character — the flag-themed bunting and “BREITBART” badge at the beltline are cute touches — he didn’t even come close to giving Sir Andrew of Copypaste an appropriately-proportioned head. Consider this side-by-side comparison of the two images at the top of the post, and compare the colossal Breitnoggin to the far more anatomically plausible (and copyrighted) head on the Assassin’s Creed knight, which we’ve flipped so that you can say “OMG they’re just the same.”

On his Facebook page, Bugnon at least has the decency to admit that this is not a painting at all, though perhaps it’s a slight stretch for him to claim that “many components of this picture were created out of nothing, like the hair, leather armor, the red cloth, belts…” without acknowledging that the basic form of the figure is swiped from someone else’s original work (which, as I may have mentioned, is protected domestically and internationally by copyright).

As a conservative, Mr. Bugnon no doubt thinks that private property is a pretty big deal. Of course, as a conservative and entrepreneur, he also thinks that profit is a big deal; our own Biel_ze_Bubba points out that the cost of printing out a 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas is only about $150. So figuring the production costs and a few hours of Bugnon’s time at the computer, that’s only about a 2000% markup on the big limited-edition version. Less, of course, if you factor in the licensing fees for using Ubisoft’s intellectual property…surely an upstanding conservative wouldn’t dream of just plagiarizing, would he?

But is this brilliant example of right-wing kitsch actually a copyright infringement? Or is it some kind of “fair use”? Beats us — as we experienced internet types say when we want to pontificate about the law but don’t want anyone to do something stupidly litigious, I ANAL (an abbreviation that seems just right at home for Our Wonkette). But regardless of whether Ubisoft’s legal department sends a big fat Cease and Desist letter to David Bugnon and Patriot Depot (DO IT! DO IT!!), it seems only fitting that Andrew Breitbart, who made a career out of selectively editing bits of videotape to make other people say exactly what he wanted them to say, has been memorialized by a hacked-together Photoshop job constructed out of images sundered from their original contexts. How Po-Mo is that!

UPDATE: The Patriot Depot’s page for the painting now looks like this, ha ha:

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  • Barb

    There is a new member here, Lube who has a profile that takes you to links to the Patriot Depot site. They changed their name to "LuBarb" for a while and got bored with me, lol.

  • tihond

    Aren't there already like 100 "painting(s) Obama fears." Get at thesaurus Cons. One can be the painting Obama loathes, one can be the painting that gives Obama nightmares, and this can be the one "Obama thinks clashes with the carpet."

    • flamingpdog

      Projection much? (Their part, not yours)

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Given the quality of the work in all of these paintings, anyone with any love of art would fear these paintings.

  • Plagiarism is theft!

    • Not_So_Much

      At my company, it is considered the most reliable source of productivity…

      • Oh, we can get into all sorts of trouble.

        Unless its a boss taking credit for my…I mean, an employee's work

        • Doktor Zoom

          Plagiarism is theft!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Which reminds me – did you notice the ©2012 at the end of my post on the Patriot Depot page?

          • Doktor Zoom

            I don't believe I know you.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Not yet…

        • You sound like an Ad Man!

  • el_donaldo

    But where did he get the idea to portray Breitbart as a thalidomide baby?

    • anniegetyerfun

      Therein lies the true genius, and artisit merit, behind this image.

    • tessiee

      From observing the things that he said and did in life?

  • Barb

    Stop raping video games!

    • Steverino247

      Considering they have such tiny dicks, I guess they fit in those little slots on the side of the XBox or something.

      • Y'know how you have a tiny access port next to the disk drive so you can release it with a paper clip?

        • Steverino247

          That's the spot! Right there! Oh, YES! Oooooh! Oh my gawdddd! Uhngh. Whew.

          Can I try that again tomorrow?

          • "Johnny, what's this bill from Game Stop? $185 for 'splooge removal'?"

  • But is this brilliant example of right-wing kitsch actually a copyright infringement?

    See, I would bring this to the attention of the folks at Ubisoft and let them sort it out. Of course, I would not personally do it, mostly because Ubisoft is blocked on my firewall as a gaming site, and I *certainly* would not encourage any enterprising young badass with a bad attitude like me to send an email, perhaps anonymously, to Ubisoft's legal department with a link to this post basically laying out the rationale for a cease-and-desist order, mostly because I would not want one of us to be accused of reporting the commission of a potential felony sticking our noses in someone else's business.

    It seems like the free market solution everyone would crave.

    • Haha I'm unemployed so I'll work for lulz. Done and done, sent them a friendly email with relevant links. Hopefully they will be so enamored with my do-gooderism that I will get a free copy of the next AC game (you reading this yet ubisoft? <hint hint>)

      • See, if there wasn't a FUCKING FIREWALL AT WORK….*glaring*….this is the prize I would be hoping for.

        I know they have a huge legal team, because I sat thru the credits at the end of "Resurrection" (PROTIP: Once you get to the end, go take a shower. And a dump. And have a large meal. It takes that long to get to the replay)

      • Zango Crudmonger

        Jean-Baptiste Grossetti is going to be quite familiar with Wonkette at the days end.

  • Not_So_Much


  • el_donaldo

    I ANALRAPIST, actually.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      You are a combination analysis/therapist?

      • el_donaldo

        Well, I'm not a lawyer. And I know what Breitbart would think of me. Does that make me Tobias Funke? It just might.

    • Do NOT download the iAnalrapist app!

  • Lucidamente1

    "Breitbart Groping Riley" is the image that gives me nightmares.

    • anniegetyerfun

      Man, those were the DAYS.

    • flamingpdog

      I hope Brightfart doesn't end up haunting Riley's chambre à couché.

    • tessiee

      Gives YOU nightmares?? Riley is a dead ringer for my ex!

      • Fare la Volpe

        Lucky gal — the weedy types are usually hung like horses.

  • Barb

    It's a shame that in the video game of life Breitart wasn't good enough at it to make it to the level where he earned and extra life or two. Game over!

  • CrunchyKnee

    Fucking "conservatives", they have to cheat at everything.

  • OkieDokieDog

    OH NOES! cancel check cancel check CANCEL CHECK!!!11!!

    And I had a lovely spot picked out for it right over the porcelain throne.

    • widestanceromance

      'Fes up, it was under the porcelain throne, wasn't it?

      • OkieDokieDog

        Actually it was the outhouse.

  • SorosBot

    At least he didn't rip it off from Skyrim; that's a better game with cooler armor. My sorceress Willlow is now running around in kickass armor she made herself from dragons' scales.

    • el_donaldo

      My PC won't run Skyrim. Sigh. Guess I should take a cue from Patriot Depot and go steal a new one.

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        I keep accidentally killing Lydia

        • It's like she's magnetically attracted to fireballs.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Crikey. Kid Zoom went and downloaded the "nude mod" for Skyrim, and now Lydia follows him around butt-nekkid all the time.

      My failure to do more than mildly razz the boy about this may make me the worst parent ever, or the coolest.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Yes, but did you or did you not plagiarize that name from Buffy the vampire slayer?

      • SorosBot

        I'm just not very good with coming up with names. :(

    • emmelemm

      Does your Willlow really have three Ls?

  • Fairtackle

    Maybe this oversized head is just a matter of perspective. If viewed from a different angle, it could be that his neck is 4 feet long and is extended in the direction of the viewer making the head appear larger.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I think it's more a matter of inflated ego. I mean, while it's astonishing that many conservatives could even manage to give themselves bigger heads than they already have, Michele Bachmann's book cover shows that it's not unprecedented.

    • tessiee

      "Maybe this oversized head is just a matter of perspective."

      My best guess would be fluid retention from an over-accumulation of toxins, but yours is good, too.

  • ratcityrebel

    I really love that the artiste gave him something of a Michael Bolton mullet.

  • Slim_Pickins

    Breitbart would look much better if he had that plume coming out of his head.

    • IMHO, I think it would be better with a plume coming out of his ass…

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Was their a Pimp in Assassins Creed? Because a Photoshop of that would seem more appropriate.

    I sort of think someone should photoshop Zombie Breitbart's gigantic head onto this:

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It's the goldfish shoes! Although BrightFart would probably have insisted on pirhanas.

  • prommie

    Calling something a "veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste" is itself a veritable holocaust-tsunami" of hitlerian bad taste, with hitler sauce child porn.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I don't think Kirsten will mind if I share with you this excerpt from two emails she sent me before running this piece:

      Fri, Jun 8, 2012 10:33 AM: …do you have a link for that "actual professional art critic" quote in the first graf?

      and then (after also mentioning she'd been up since 3 AM:

      Friday, June 8, 2012 11:44 AM: i just remembered the "art critic" is rebecca. dont listen to me. jesus god the tired, it hurts.

      • prommie

        I meant "veritable holocaust-tsunami of hitlerian bad taste, with hitler sauce child porn," in the best possible way, like a Roger Waters movie. No, wait, I think I mean John Waters, he's the one with the poop-eating obese transexual movie, right?

        • Doktor Zoom

          Well, of course it's a compliment. How could it be anything else?

          John Waters: Poop-eating tranny

          Roger Waters: Soul-eating maggots (and marching hammers)

  • If the cult of Bitpart were to use video games as the basis for their madness, I strong suggest they use this for the soundtrack.

  • SexySmurf

    My rogue Sarah is running around in designer armor paid for by the RNC.

    • lulzmonger

      Does it include a Louis Vuitton Bag Of Holding?

  • timbo71351

    Those people that WORSHIP that angry rage-monkey puzzle me. For Christ's sake, I live in a city that is home of the state capital and the state's major university. When Brietbart died, the newspaper didn't even run the AP obit on him….and they've run AP obits on Peruvian poets. Few people gave a fuck about the dude.

    • tessiee

      "Few people gave a fuck about the dude."

      Yeah, it seems like not that many people have even heard of him, but the people who liked him REALLY REALLY liked him. It's as though he were some icky Bizarro World version of the Grateful Dead.

    • extreme_left

      I think the power of Narcissism is great, bitpart's Narcissism fed aspiring bitpart's Narcissism in a circle jerk of self fulfilling relevance enabled by the net.

  • with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website

    Allow me to suggest this far more appropriate version, with its pretty, goatse-inspired background.

    • Can't be arsed for an official AHEM, BUT!

  • SexySmurf

    If Breitbart was really a video game character he'd be Pacman because they both died after gobbling balls.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™


      • C_R_Eature


    • MissTaken

      Dammit, now there's water and coconut muffin on my computer screen. Well played!

      • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

        Half-chewed rice and gaviscon for me.

    • …and they both hang out with ghosts.

    • extreme_left


  • The arm proportion looks off because the inept thief made it look like the metal plate is the dude's whole arm. The original art makes it clear that the elbow is behind the plate.

    • MissTaken

      Are you implying that Breitfart's body was not made of armor? My mind is blown.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he were depicted as a Space Marine. I mean, he and his share the self-righteousness, zealotry, and rabid xenophobia of the Adeptus Astartes.

  • LastGasp

    … the brave knight “buckle[s] his belts on the wrong side – like a girl.”

    Oh… this suddenly paints Breitbart in a whole new light.

    • paulabflat

      he swashes his buckle like a girl!!!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Why did Barack Obama lie about this?

  • bumfug

    You need a big head to hold that much shit.

  • Blueb4sunrise


  • OldWhiteLies

    So full of not surprise.

    Do these people not realise that they have essentially painted their entire phony world in watercolours – and that a simple squall exposes them all as the frauds they are?

  • Antispandex

    There is no proof that the artist completely ripped off the idea. After all, there ARE some differences…ah, shit, I can't even defend this craptastical piece of loony conservacrap. Jeeze, whatever happened to a nice oil on velvet painting of Elvis with an M16?

  • niblick77

    Every time I see BB in that armor I spew my man seed!

  • Baconzgood

    What they can pass off as "art" these days.

  • Oh I see, Doktor Zoom is finally trying to go legit!! Wants to get out of the Comment Ghetto and move uptown with the Editrixes! You think you better than us?! We knew your ass when!!

    • Assuming he still has an ass. He may have had it whipped off in exchange.

      • Doktor Zoom

        A gentleman doesn't flog and tell.

        • OldWhiteLies

          Shouldn't that be: get flogged and tell ?

          • bagofmice

            Can't it be both?

    • flamingpdog

      All the way back when he was Medical Student Zoom?

      • tessiee

        I heard his real name is Maxwell Edison.

    • prommie

      Fucking sellout.

      • Doktor Zoom

        I really want to direct.

        • Hey, I don't tell medical jokes, you stay off my turf.

        • not that Radio

          Is that why you dropped the "Strange"? Is that like when people with "jewish" names change them to "Jon Stewart"?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Yeah, he was cool before he went all corporate and shit.

      • Doktor Zoom

        I need a tax cut.

  • James Michael Curley

    Usenet, IANAL, TINLA, Cross posting; WTF is the Breidbart Index of that Breitbart photo?

  • Oh, I thought the proportions were fucked because he based it on this:

  • edgydrifter

    It's one thing to fuck up a drawing–drawing well is hard. It's quite another thing to steal someone else's reasonable drawing, pawn it off as your own, and still completely fuck it up. It's like a tesseract of FAIL.

    • tessiee

      "It's like a tesseract of FAIL"


      • edgydrifter

        You will always be the tesseract of WIN. Not like this at all.

        • tessiee

          Oh, OK, — so, not a tesseract like the condition that makes you need to have eye surgery to remove it; a tesseract like the kind of car with tail fins that big fat Italian guys from New Jersey like to drive around in while smoking big fat cigars.

    • bagofmice

      Well, we have some X and Y when dealing with the scalar values of the head, Breitbart is his own dimension of FAIL, and I suppose we could measure the plagiarism as the fourth dimension, so tesseract is correct.

  • flamingpdog

    I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! Sherlock Pdog even went looking at Google Images under various tags to do with armor,and around the internetz to see if he could find a picture of that body armor, but, sadly, PHAIL!

    • MissTaken

      Never go to Google. A good Sherlock goes to his Mind Palace.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Clearly Patriot Depot is not a Conservative business.

    It must be a front for the SEIU and the Tides Foundation, with funds coming from George Soros, set up in an attempt to destroy private property so as to collapse the Dollar, sell all our secretes to the Chinese, legalize Marijuana and impose a Socialist-Caliphate ruled by a foreign born dog-eating Commie upon good, upstanding Americans.

    Why does the Patriot Depot hate America so?

  • Goonemeritus

    Andrew crap seems to be supplanting Reagan crap in the lucrative Conservative idolatry marketplace.

    • flamingpdog

      Please, Jeebus, can you make Koch Brothers and Cheney crap replace the Brietbart crap in the lucrative Conservative idolatry marketplace SOOOOON!!

  • mavenmaven

    If I photoshop his head onto a recolorized image of Bowzer or Donkey Kong, how much can I charge?

    • __kth__

      needs to be a Wonkette contest, with swag for all entrants

      • Edith_Prickly

        YES PLEASE….

    • paulabflat

      i'd say, "sky's the limit, ain't it?"

    • tessiee


  • FakaktaSouth

    This is fucking terrible. BUT, Dead Thomas Kincaid painting dead Andrew Breitbart in real time on tv like that dead PBS guy and I'm totally interested…

  • whiterabid

    $3999.95? Didn't Breitbart say there is a sucker born every minute?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, Breitbart said he would suck anyone in a minute.

  • WhatTheHeck

    Breibart looks like he’s just had a long knight… if you know what I mean.

  • Art plagiarism is only theft when done by hippies stealing from multinationals to feed their iPads.

  • Ahh, a plagiarist memorializing a con artist with a stolen image. How apropos

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And then deceptively mass-marketed by other con artists, at a 50x markup, to the trucknutz-and-trailer demographic. It's got everything but a nutty sermon from a gay/pedo preacher.

  • BlueStateLibel

    What is it about the word "copyright" that wingnuts don't understand? Or stealing? Or reality?

  • SayItWithWookies

    When I first saw that portrait I thought it was garbage — but now that I know it's cheap crap hacked together from others' ideas and reassembled into a freakishly-proportioned mistake sold to slavering idiots for far too much money — well now I think it's kind of a touching tribute.

    • paulabflat

      he would have wanted it that way.

    • extreme_left

      When you put it that way it is touching to see nerds getting in touch with their creative side and acknowledging a human trait that extends beyond self loathing.

  • Shypixel

    Is Breitbart's head too big, or is the knight's head to small? Oh wait.. stupid question…

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Patriot Depot also deleted my witty and lovingly crafted review of their fine product. What a bunch of bastards.

    • tessiee

      I'm sure that no one would object if you posted it here, hint hint.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        I would have to rewrite it from memory and it would just be a hollow echo of yesterday's brilliance.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Page is down!!!! Wonkette gets another notch on the keyboards. Woot.

      • Doktor Zoom


        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Do we get medals or something? Maybe a giclee print for the den?

  • Rotundo_

    In his passing, just like other mythical types (Juh-Heeeeeeezzzzzzz-usssssssss) Andy is now suffering in the next world watching hack artists make a buck off his visage. Since Juh Heeeez-ussss was a dark complected Palestinian Jew, I would imagine he is just as pissed off at all the blonde haired fair skinned blue eyed renditions of him as Andy would be of this. Then again, Andy would probably like this shit…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, how much did this post earn you, Doc? Just curious as to what Wonk-scale is.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I got paid in Ameros.

      • emmelemm

        Whither the whore diamonds?

  • Warpde

    Oh, that's just great.
    After all the work I have gone through to immortalize AB and then this….
    Oh well, back to the dark room.

    • extreme_left

      there goes any thought of fapping in the next few hours.

    • bringmeanaxe


  • Blueb4sunrise

    Hey, I just wrote a song.
    It's called "Semi-mental Lady". I'm already getting ad $$$ for the upload.

  • flamingpdog

    Dear David Bugnon,

    All your bucks are belong to us.

    Ubisoft Legal Department

  • anniegetyerfun

    A Blingee would have featured more artistic integrity, really.

  • CommieLibunatic

    I suddenly feel a lot better about my own artistic…-ish… abilities.

    Also, too, what's next? Paladin Breitbart FigurePrints?

  • C_R_Eature

    That's fine research Doktor! Many Virtual Upfists and genuflections.
    I still think, though that the painting looks much better in its Original German.

    And might I add, as I usually do when these stories present themselves, that the ghost of P.T. Barnum is weeping tears of Greed and Frustration at being born 150 years too late to cash in on these people.

    • Hitler was in "The Wizard Of Oz?!"

      • C_R_Eature

        Of course. Oh…you've never seen the version bankrolled by Henry Ford, then?

  • That "painting" depicts what happens to post-converted Jews in Mormon heaven.

  • Beowoof

    The right is stealing from us all the time, that they had no problem doing this should not be a surprise.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, can you imagine who the soundtrack would have been stolen from if paintings had soundtracks?

  • Gleem McShineys

    This is the best thing ever. Video game "art" turned into a $4000 Conservatard-money-vacuum?

  • Well done Dr. Z. A Pulitzer for sure.

  • poorgradstudent

    Dammit why didn't I think of something like this? Especially since Sarah Palin boldly showed the way for all of us, no matter our politics or personal thresholds for shame.

  • HarryButtle

    Frank Frazetta libel!

    Seriously, what is it about intellectual property rights that these supposed capitalists don't understand? Maybe because it has the word "intellectual" in it?

    • Frank Frazetta didn't do armor. He'd have made Breitbart all fat-muscled and beetle-browed, with a naked Mickelle Malkin hanging off his thigh as he eviscerates the Libtard Hordes, in the mythic, gore-drenched battlefields of the Free Market. Boris Vallejo would have painted it all shiny, also. The Brothers Hildebrandt, however, would have made it look like Rock City, Tennessee or Frankenmuth, Michigan.

  • Junior, clean up your link to the original post.

  • C_R_Eature

    You know Who Else stole Heroic art?

    • emmelemm

      And made terrible "art" of his own?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Carlos Mencia?

  • For $3000 I'll make a poster of you as Mario, Luigi, Wario or Waluigi. Japan is too far away to sue me and I don't have any yen anyhoo.

  • whiterabid

    He looks like a character out of Naked Lunch, the movie.

  • Goonemeritus

    From Patriot Update-

    “Look, I’m not a big fan of having paintings of contemporaries on my wall—especially paintings of other men; however, I’ve made room on my wall for a nice reproduction of Bugnon’s painting”

    By making room I’m sure he meant moving the paintings of Hitler and Mussolini closer together.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or moving the painting of the Dogs Playing Poker and the Elvis on Velvet from the living room to the rec room.

      • emmelemm

        Hey, man, ain't nothing wrong with Dogs Playing Poker and Velvet Elvis. This crap, on the other hand…

    • SenileAgitation

      "Look, I’m not a big fan of having paintings of … other men" <This is the statement of a closeted homosexual who generally prefers his depictions of men to include IANAL.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Look, I’m not a big fan of having paintings of contemporaries on my wall—especially paintings of other men

      Because just looking at another men is so gay, amirite fellas? No, don't look at me! I'll be blinded by the queerocity! It burnses our heterosexualitieses!

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™
    • Wile E. Quixote

      And even more massively shopped than the rest of the image. What plugin do you use to remove stubble and create a jawline?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Lemme guess. David Bugnon was also probably one of those guys all righteously exercised about Shepard Fairey's criminal appropriation of an AP photo for the Obama "HOPE" poster.

  • KotBR

    I assumed that it was stolen from Ghostbusters II.

    At least whoever monitors the Patriot Depot site wasn't so proud of the work that they kept deleting comments poking fun…

  • redarmyzombie

    Well, that explains why my first thought when I saw this was /HIGH PROFILE…

  • Exhausted66

    It looks like Ubisoft might owe Tom Tomorrow some money for ripping off Sparky The Wonder Penguin.

  • cotugirl

    If he hasn't respawned, he's a fucking lag.

  • paulabflat

    okay. i checked and those clouds are NOT mine.


    • LetUsBray

      They're mine. Hey, you, get off of my clouds, is my totally original response.

      • paulabflat


  • owhatever

    Gnash of teeth! Now I must remove my new Ghost Breitbart art and rearrange the billiard room in the basement again. I can replace Sir Ghost with my actual double-autographed photo of Greatest President Reagan and Jesus riding horseback together, between the genuine gilded deer head from the New York Mint and the hand-crafted Michelle Obama dart board above the beer fridge. Otherwise, my guests will think I ain't got good taste.

  • StealthMuslin

    This is the funniest thing I've read all day. And I'm facebook friends with Bristol Palin.

    • paulabflat

      high praise indeed.

  • CivicHoliday

    his ghost has achieved meta

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I'm waiting for the commemorative plate (maybe as a set, with a complimentary crown-of-thorns Jeebus.)

    Possibly worth noting is that the Patriot Depot site "allows" comments on their products — courtesy of Intense Debate! "Allows" does not mean "tolerates" — these are right-wing nutters, after all — so much of the above information was deleted shortly after I posted it to their site. I reposted the tidbit about the actual cost of this BlightArt, and that got deleted as well, so they seem particularly touchy about letting the rubes know what a ripoff this is.
    Perhaps it's better to let them extract money from wingnut morons who might otherwise donate it to the GOP's teabagging demagogues.

    • C_R_Eature

      Just that term alone gets you today's Gold Star, Bieley!

    • timbo71351

      If you're dumb enough and enough of an asshole to pay $4,000 for a painting of Andrew Fucking Breitbart, you deserve to get ripped the fuck off.

  • DalePues

    Damn, is there anything these asshats can do without ripping someone off?

  • Doktor Zoom

    Oh, golly. Gaming blog Kotaku has picked this thing up.

    • C_R_Eature

      Now look what you're done.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Even better–they're now flooding the comments at "Patriot Update."

        Now, if BoingBoing just publishes my submission…

        I want to linkwhore this all over the place.

        • C_R_Eature

          Oh, I think it's Gone Viral by now, Doc. Nice work. Now the Grifters will have to come with another scheme to defraud all those Breittards.
          It should take them two, maybe three days, tops.

          • Wile E. Quixote

            David Bugnon will just start shopping Breitbart's head on to various and sundry Rob Liefeld drawings. Hey, anything to make a quick buck, right?

  • Wonderthing

    It is just getting SO DANG HARD to be a stealy-faced, plagiatrolling, cold lifting graphics and making them your own kinda person with this darned Internet being all openanshit and easy to catch a bitch. Shoot. I don't suppose anyone wants to buy this Mona Pizza?

    • tessiee

      Is that the Mona Pizza that has the picture outined in pepperoni, and the eyes are black olives? Because I have a *friend* who might be interested.

  • Even Kincaide wouldn't stoop this low! Though the arms probably would have been even more fucked up

  • chascates

    Yet somewhere at this minute someone is posting online for the 'photo of Obama dressed in muslim garb' to prove to someone he is indeed a furriner.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Sikhs, Muslims — different continents, true, but they're still all brown.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just turn that gun around, and it's close to being pretty good.

  • Fare la Volpe

    I finally get how a free-market worshipper can escape the moral dissonance of stealing someone else's creative work for his profit:

    It's not theft when white people do it.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    For extra lulz (or horror), scroll down to the early comments on that Patriot Update page. There are some serious psychoses on display there.

  • not that Radio


    Andrew Breitbart "Fight" Prints

    There are no products in this category.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Huh: "The page you were looking for appears to have been moved, deleted or does not exist." That's at Patriot Depot now.

    • not that Radio

      All Fightbart prints have been removed from the site. See my screenshot below.

    • thebewilderness

      I am having a fair sized happy!

  • Troglodeity

    Wow, and all along I thought Bugnon was inspired by this painting:

    • rmjagg

      joan of arc with hitler's head and a different flag

  • Zango Crudmonger

    It looks as if PD has removed the "art".

  • ttommyunger

    So long as the motherfucker is still dead, iss all good to me.

  • Shypixel

    Wonkette, Y U NO let me post comments anymore?

  • Nostrildamus

    I ANAL
    U ANAL
    We all ANAL
    For I ANAL

  • BerkeleyBear

    Screw the C&D letter on this one. Assuming Ubisoft copyrighted all the images (and they'd be morons not to) this is a file first, seek statutory damages, and then ask them to stop situations. Because this is the sort of example making case IP lawyers love.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I like the way you think. I'd assume that even though they've disappeared all the items, anything they actually sold would still be liable for damages….?

      • BerkeleyBear

        Ding! Ding! Ding! And statutory damages let you ask for ca-ching for each "infringement", which is not limited to sales, but also depictions on websites and advertising. It can get into ridiculous numbers fast, and this also strikes me as a good case for arguing the infringement was intentional and therefore the damages are subject to various enhancements.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        IAAL, and much as I'd love to see the Patriot Depot douches hauled into court, I very much doubt the damages would be worth the attorney time. (Unlike in the U.K., it's hard to get your attorney costs covered by the other side.) I doubt they were able to peddle much of the merchandise – especially the $4k "painting"- to the trucknutz/numbnutz demographic they're exploiting.

  • bagofmice

    Artsassin's Creed? Quite ironic considering the fact that AC 3 is set in the American Revolution.

  • rmjagg

    I'm waiting for the roll of toilet paper edition to come out .

  • PuckStopsHere

    Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven
    Of course fraud is involved here. Andrew Breitbart (still glad he's dead) is in Hell, where he belongs.

  • Tundra Grifter

    So that painting is as phony as a James O'Keefe video?

    I like the rooster better.

  • sbj1964

    I heard Rush L. was created from Nintendo's Mario Brothers.All they did was leave off the stache.

  • I would pay $2 — no, $3.95 for a black velvet painting of Ms. Schoenkopf in Red Sonja armor.

  • badgitator

    Four grand really isn't that much to pay for a lifetime of closeted fapping pleasure.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I hear that Real Dolls is working on an Andrew Breitbart doll.

  • mercianomad

    [No snark] This made my day, thanks.

  • jingajo

    Looks like he took down all references to it at his facebook page, and his "art" gallery is gone.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    So, the item is no longer available at Patriot Depot. I'm wondering if they got a C&D letter from Ubisoft or if Ubisoft got some pipe hittin' motherfuckers who went to work with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch and got medieval on their asses. I'm hoping for the latter.

    • They probably just told Patriot Depot that they lost their privileges in the USA, leave the country by the end of the day and don't never come back. Other than that, they were cool.

  • bringmeanaxe

    Breitbart looks like he's about to head out on a date with Peggington Noonington.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Fear not, for Teh Googlez has cached a copy of the original:

    Might be worth using this link in the article, so folks can still enjoy the BlightArt in all its glory.

    • Doktor Zoom

      That's well worth having! Thanks!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Updated Update of the Update: Bugnon's Facebook Page is now a thing of the past. He's also deleted his Twitter account and his "fine art" website.

    Look, I sort of hope that his career as a right-wing propagandist is over… but I also hope that he doesn't do something MORE stupid than just plagiarism.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He may have realized that 90% of his "art" is asking for lawsuits … and maybe with the rubes clued in to the $100 cost of his $4,000 inkjet "paintings", he realized that his scam was over and done with. And then theres the fact that this story is rapidly going viral, promising to make him the laughing stock of the entire intertubes. (Google "bugnon breitbart" to see how fast this thing is snowballing.)

      In any event, a victory for the good guys … even if it's only witless teabaggers who will benefit from our efforts. I will patiently await their expressions of gratitude.

      Oh, and we may have started a new meme.

      • TribecaMike


      • George Skullfry


      • Doktor Zoom

        I have to say, I am both humbled and gratified that my little blogpost is at over 13,500 views at the moment….and a tad jealous that the Kotaku rebloggening has 203,000 "Likes" on Facebook.

        Jeebus. That means a quarter of a million people have seen the little picture that I threw together in 20 minutes with MS-Paint.

        Internet, I love and am a bit weirded out by you.

  • Y'know, this was so sadly, pathetically & epically ++lame I'd almost bet it was a ratfuck from the beginning.

  • dcmartin

    The credit for this takedown goes to thebewilderness, who pointed out the AC rip-off in my blog comments.
    I kept thinking he looked like Lord Farquaard ( I have 5 kids and watch a lot of Shrek movies).
    Amazing how this dude was threatening to screw with any leftist bloggers who dared manipulate his copyrighted masterpiece……can't wait to see what Tengrain over at MPS does with it now!!!!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Heh–The Internet resists clear citations; as thebewilderness noted over in your comment thread, the real 'FIRST!" appears to belong to "greylocks" in a thread at Lawyers, Guns & Money, which thebewilderness passed on at your blog, and then you at Mock, Paper, Scissors, which I mistakenly thought was first. As I said over at your place, sorry about the misattribution! Unless "greylocks" says otherwise, I'm going to ask the Editrices to post a correction/update to this story–but I'm going to wait a little bit to make sure we really do have the right hero this time, if that makes any sense.

      • dcmartin

        It's all good, and makes perfect sense.
        Pleased to have made your acquaintance through this whole amusing tale!

  • lulzmonger


    1. Visit Breitbart's grave
    2. Yell "STOP DECOMPOSING!" several times
    3. ?????
    4. IRONY!

  • PinkoMoonbat

    I'm pretty sure Ubisoft is represented by the firm I work for… and they're just up the street. Better make sure their interests are being defended!

  • "The 6-foot-3, 251-pound Breitbart was considered "a light drinker," and he had 0.04 gram percent of alcohol in his blood and heart at the time of his death, the autopsy report said."

    Light drinker eh?

  • Funniest thing EVER.

  • NotALiar

    dok zoom from 5 years in the future brought me here.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Fixed that, didn’t you now?

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