That is a beauty queen's smile right there.

Colorado GOP Representative Doug Lamborn, the nefarious numbskull briefly mocked in the national news last year for managing to slip the words “tar baby” into a whine about the black president, would not care to apologize to an award-winning coal-mining activist whose attempt to testify to the House Natural Resources Committee about the pollution caused by mountaintop coal-removal using a photograph of a forlorn-looking child huddled in a bathtub full of putrid orange water was met with a child pornography investigation from Capitol Police, at the request of committee staff members. The police of course found nothing, but let this be…some kind of dire lesson, about trying to educate members of Congress against their will. “I think this woman should consider what type of materials she brings to hearings,” said Lamborn. “Maybe that’s something she wants to consider.” Speaking of considerations, what led him to this astute conclusion? What specifically in his own estimation?

From the Denver Post:

He said he decided to pull the photo, though he never saw it and still hasn’t seen it. He says he has no desire to view the photograph, shot by a California-based photojournalist.

“I was going by what staff recommended to me,” he said Wednesday. “They had a serious question about whether this is appropriate or not, and based on that, the police based in any state … will be very cautious and they will want to do due diligence to make sure there isn’t some problem.”

Good to hear that everyone from the police to congressional staff members have done their due diligence and determined that there is absolutely nothing criminal about a photo of a child bathing in filthy, polluted water. Sign off on those mining permits already, team!

Again, we encourage you to look at the photo. (At least the photo and the mining pollution issue ought to get widespread play out of this.) [Denver Post; thanks to Wonkette commenter “flamingpdog”]

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  • edgydrifter

    How dare she show us the consequences of our avarice! Has she no shame?

  • Barb

    Now had Pedobear been in the tub with that child, soaping up their tiny little shoulders while hugging them close………..

    • freakishlywrong

      ♪Sexual Harassment Paaaanda!♫♪

    • ph7

      Go on…

    • tihond

      Cardinal Dolan leans in a little closer. He likes where this story is going.

    • chicken_thief

      I thought you were in court today, Jerry….

    • redarmyzombie

      Oh god Barb, It's too early in the morning for me to be throwing up already… >.<

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Just because he gets turned on by pictures of "a forlorn-looking child huddled in a bathtub full of putrid orange water" doesn't mean that its child porn.

    • You think Lamborn is being overly fapadaisical?

    • NorthStarSpanx

      But throw in a mess of fetal tissue and we are good to go!

      • Hell, throw in a sperm'n'egg omelette two seconds after contact, or even two weeks before.

    • In the eye of the beholder.

  • nounverb911

    Some one should search Lamborn's computer for lamb p*orn.

  • Doug Lamborn is one big tard baby.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Just add this to the big treasure trove of Conservative due diligence.

      I don't know what I said but I stand by what I said, whatever it was.

      [This testimony submitted to the Congressional Record as a matter of public record] was not intended to be a factual statement.

      I'm sure you are aware of the information that's floating around the internet, and I'd like to give you the opportunity to respond to your connection, the Girl Scout connection, with Planned Parenthood and the activist role in that — is there a connection? Is there not? Frankly, I haven't looked into it but I see it's out there.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Kid looks like she's bathing in PBR. No wonder she looks so sad.

    • chascates

      I drench myself in PBR every once and a while and I indeed feel sad.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        You'd even be sadder if you took it internally.

        • chascates

          That's how I take it so now I'm doubly sad.

  • el_donaldo

    So the message from Lamborn is that the GOP will find any way to screw you if you dare challenge their worldview. I don't think that kid or the bathwater is the dirtiest thing in this story.

    • niblick77

      I nominate you for the Annual Wonkette Read Between The Lines reader of the year award!

      • el_donaldo

        I know. Obvious, right? But I needed the set-up for the dirty crack. Which wasn't very funny either. Back to Wonkette gulag.

        • niblick77

          Oh, and stop taking jobs away from our American fowl.

  • I'm not surprised GOPers would know child porn when they see it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I weep for this nation seeing as so many of us are stupid enough to elect Lamborn and even stupider and viler people to govern us.

    • sewollef

      Let's all weep some more since the 'good' people of Wisconsin have decided to re-elect Mr Douchebag Walker – again.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        I call it "Kochconsin" now. It's over. It's now thoroughly bought & paid for.

  • ChernobylSoup

    To be fair, the kid shouldn't have jumped in the tub right after John Boehner got out.

    • KBoydJohnson

      Slow clap.

      • ALIVE!

        Time to reprise Comment Win of the Afternoon

    • mayor_quimby

      I love you.
      Were I a woman, I would have your radioactive multidheaded babies on the strength of this comment alone.

  • Fairtackle

    If this is the kind of material that gets Rep Lamborn all hot and bothered then maybe there needs to be another investigation.

    • Srsly. There is something wrong with anybody who can look at that photo and think "sexual."

  • BaldarTFlagass

    It would be okay to show the kid drinking the water, though, right?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Only if the kid were wearing an appropriately modest bathing suit. Or dressed up in a Toddlers-n-Tiaras outfit.

      • CommieLibunatic

        And that's no guarantee, either. I can't find it, be refer to the incident where some poor schmuck in the army got busted for viewing "child porn" photos of his toddler niece bending over in an ill-fitting swimsuit during summer vacation. BUSTED, CRIMINAL SCUM

  • SheriffRoscoe

    We all know porn when we see it, amirite GOP congresscritter?

  • mavenmaven

    Nothing like weimar era intimidation thuggery to remind us that we are in post weimar America.

  • Oblios_Cap

    He said he decided to pull the photo, though he never saw it and still hasn’t seen it. He says he has no desire to view the photograph, shot by a California-based photojournalist.

    So…Intellectual curiousity is considered unbecoming a Republican Congressman? That explains a lot.

    • SorosBot

      Of course; that's why so many of them insist the Earth is just 6000 years old, evidence be damned.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      He was probably at the head of the line to look at the prisoner abuse photos from Abu Ghraib, though not to criticize them, if you know what I mean.

      • I seem to remember something about repeated viewings of recordings of torture by top WH officials in the Bush era.

    • chicken_thief

      It's not the possibility of child porn that is keeping him from viewing the pic – he has plenty of that shit. It's the fact that it was taken by some soshulist commie librul fag from California that he objects to.

  • C_R_Eature

    I personally think that Lamborn should consider just what kind of lascivious, disturbing Grin he brings out to public meetings first.

    • Abernathy

      His mouth says [word salad], but his smile says, "Did someone mention kiddie porn? Excuse me while I go fap."

      • C_R_Eature

        He's probably sporting an enormous Bonerhitler also.

        • No, that would be ME. Weedlord Bonerhitler, at your service.

          That putz sports a nubbin.

          • C_R_Eature

            Pleased to meet you.

            A case of the Perpetual Limps, more likely

  • mannacler

    Bad news for grandparents with pictures of naked infants on bearskin rugs.

  • James Michael Curley

    I clicked on the photo when linked in a story about it earlier this morning. I actually thought "Now, the feds are going to flag my ip for cruising child porn sites." It's getting that paranoid inducing.

    • Barb

      Still I wouldn't open any e-mails from Jerry Sandusky that has attachments. I'm just sayin'……….

      • James Michael Curley

        I don't open emails from women with pussy shots either! ;)

        • BaldarTFlagass

          How do you get on that mailing list?

        • chicken_thief

          What about messages from men with pussy shots?

          • G'wan, you know you want to. Srsly NSFW.

          • chicken_thief

            No freakin wayz!!!! Messages with pussy shots – send them on! Men with pussies – *dry heaving noises* thank you, but no.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Hell, I felt nervous clicking on a Yahoo! article about the Phan Thi Kim Phuc (aka the Vietnam Napalm Girl) photo turning 40. In such an insane, quasi-Puritanical nation as ours, you can never be sure.

      • James Michael Curley

        Did Yahoo mention that AP moralized for weeks about whether to print the photo because she was naked? Nick Ut, the photographer, a Vietnamese stringer for AP, who is a US Citizen now said at a presentation I attended 15 years ago that even the French Catholic Influenced Vietnamese do not consider pictures of children, clothed or unclothed, anything other than pure art so he was mystified that after a lot of excitement at AP he never knew the photo was published until he got to the US in the late 1970’s and it took years for him to collect his Pulitzer. If I remember correctly he was downsized by AP soon after as AP had their access cut drastically after the photo was published in the US. The final release of the Nixon Tapes have reference to it – I don’t remember who Nixon was talking to about it.

    • Thought crime.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    That polluted water is foamy. What kid doesn't like a bubble bath? Ungrateful little brat.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I find this post very hard to snark to.

  • sewollef

    Fucking hell. Is this what we've come to, where being forced to bathe in shite for water is acceptable?

    Seems like it…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I clicked on the linky to view the photo, but apparently the US Air Force agrees with the congressman:

    Internet Usage is Logged & Monitored
    Why is this site blocked?
    Websites are blocked or allowed by category per Air Force Network Operations (AFNetOps) NTO 2009-087-001.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Political activism, maybe? Or "Sites that aides to a Republican from Colorado Springs have identified as child porn BECAUSE WE SAY SO"?

  • occams8ball

    "As it turns out, I really don't need your vote to stay in office. I just need money… lots and lots of money. And I know how to get it. obvsly.

  • owhatever

    Look at the vile orange water, dumbass. Trying to shift attention to "save the children" is immoral. I guess it's okay to poison them, as long as you don't take a picture of them being poisoned.

    • LastGasp

      The real obscenity is a child bathing in heavily polluted water.

    • CommieLibunatic

      We only need to "think of the children" when they're in the womb or whenever they're shoved into photo ops. Otherwise, the brats are on their own.

  • freakishlywrong

    Look! Something porny! Pay no attention to the coal pollution, nothing to see here.

  • It's not child pornography per se, but it is a photo indicative of rape and molestation; of our environment.

  • didgen

    Oh for the good old days when you actually had to see a photo to pass judgement on it.

  • Abernathy

    "He says he has no desire to view the photograph, since he has real kiddie porn at home and won't waste his time looking at pics that don't show any naughty bits."

  • sewollef

    But seriously, the kid's out of the womb and is no longer a fetus, platelet, zygote, or whatever the GOP are protecting the rights of today… so, being born, her rights are null and void now.

    I'd hate to see the conditions on black side of town …

  • Callyson

    “I think this woman should consider what type of materials she brings to hearings,” said Lamborn. “Maybe that’s something she wants to consider.”

    Yeah–next time she should bring some coal dust and throw it all over this asshole.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Even better if she'd bring a 40-ton coal hauler and dump the whole load on his ass.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Fill all the water coolers in his office from the water line to that bathtub.

  • rickmaci

    Sweetbabyjeebuz. The mind boggles at the thought of what kind of material must be in Doogie Lamebrain's hard drives.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Pornography is now defined as anything a Republican would rather not know. Why else do you think they wanna replace our public school system with madrassas?

  • Goonemeritus

    This post will be useful in my ongoing quest to have all genitalia removed from my churches Cherubim and Seraphim.

    • mayor_quimby

      They're a fucking scourge, far as I'm concerned.
      They should all be broken off like the arms on the Venus.

  • Ooops. better destroy those pictures that were taken of my kids getting baths in the kitchen sink when they were babies.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      That may not be a bad idea…

      • If it hasn't happened to me already, I think I am safe. Lets just say, the girlies got hold of one of those disposable cameras when they were toddlers and took some pictures of their own. Frankly, I am surprised that Snapfish didn't deliver the pictures with a warrant, but the kids were clearly having a ball being the little freaks that they were.

    • You know you can't even risk getting stuff like that printed these days. Good thing we've gone digital, or parents would be hauled off in convoys for taking pics of their babies' cute little butts. Gadz, my parents must have had a veritable buttload of "kiddy pron," by these standards.

  • George Skullfry

    This is about as opposite to child porn as one could imagine. What the hell do those folks drink?

    • TootsStansbury

      That water in the tub most likely.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Who cares what they drink? The plan is to work 'em 'til they die. I swear…I bet these assholes took a look at the Magnasanti Sim City and though…what a great idea.

      Relevant point: People start dying off at 60.

  • MissTaken

    If that is child porn then every mom, dad, grandparent on my Facebook feed is a child pornographer.

    • SorosBot

      What about everyone who uses a picture of their babby as their profile photo – are they impersonating children?

      • MissTaken

        I don't like getting friend requests from people with adult names but baby profile pics. Makes me wonder if it is really a To Catch a Predator (or Congressman) trap.

  • "I'll know it when I see it."

    Obviously this guy thought it was porn because of how turned on he got at the thought of a naked girl child in an arsenic filled bathtub

  • Well I ain't lookin' at that picture. Is it like one of those dumb Anne Geddes pictures?

  • You might be able to make a case for child endangerment, if the photo was not 'shopped, as probably any sane designer/photographer would do instead of soaking a kid in actual filth. But that would require thinking it through, which no Republican staffer is capable of, apparently.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    Interesting. None of my dozen bosses (members of the Committee) ever paid attention to a thing we recommended.

  • prommie

    Republican staffers, probably the same fucking Brownshirts who staged the "Brooks Brothers Riot" in Palm Beach, nasty mean little pricks. Nazis, literally.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Huh. Nazis with tiny pricks in palm beach? Shit I'm glad I'ma be in Orange Beach…the nazis there are PACKING.

      • prommie

        You need a pretty big sample size before your polling can give a statistically significant result.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Lamborn is one of the biggest pieces of shit chucklenuts here in Colorado. I guess that is why he gets elected every time.

  • Baconzgood

    To document pollution is worth crimminal investigation…Upton Sinclair just rolled over in his grave.

  • OneYieldRegular

    So he hasn't even seen the photo, but wants everyone to practice "due diligence" in investigating it when the complaint came from his own staff?

    Employer FAIL.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I know I used to make jokes about moving to Denmark, but in this economy I'll settle for a bus ticket to Canada.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's only 150 miles from here to Mexico. Hmm.

  • ph7

    I'm sneaking into the wheel well of the next plane to Lagos. Arrivederci!

  • Doktor Zoom

    A gentle reminder: If at some point later in the week you want to show someone that photo, do not just Google "tubgirl."

  • Antispandex

    Photos of a nude child in a bath tub upset their sensibilities, but forcing women to view photos of aboted fetuses is just good common sense? And you wonder why I use the word "hate" so much when referencing these people?

  • CommieLibunatic

    And don't even get me started on that bare-breasted slut referred to by snooty leftists as the Spirit of Justice. I'd spend up to $8,000 to make that skank decent!

  • scvirginia

    I agree that it's obscene, but it's not porn.

  • mormos

    The GOP: Doing what others tell us to without any personal consideration or involvement.

  • Beetagger

    10/10. Would fap to again… but them, I'm a republican congressman.

  • Beowoof

    With a Congress filled with teabaggers who practice at being willfully ignorant, that they would try to hang this guy shouldn't surprise. What the guy needs to be careful of is these folks hold a grudge and they will never forget or forgive him trying to give them facts not in the Buybull. If I were the guy trying to educate, I would have to say the hell with the dolts running this country and cretins that would elect them and move to Canada. I would have left already but I am too old now to get in.

  • flamingpdog

    Thanks, KBJ, you are my Wonkette goddess now! Sorry, Sara B.

  • Troglodeity

    Wow. You'd have to be some sick perv to look at that photo and think there was anything suggestive about it. But that pretty much describes Lamborn and much of his "Focus on the Family" constituency: the home of Ted Haggart.

  • ttommyunger

    You know, Pilgrims; I've been taking baths all my life. I've given baths to my children. I've seen pictures of children in the bathtub from time to time. I have a picture of my then four-year-old twin grand-daughters all soaped up in the tub and I keep it on the fridge. I'm 71 years old and this is the first time in my life sex has been linked in my mind with a child in a bathtub, and it took a Rightard to do it. These motherfuckers are not just sick, they are dangerous.

  • Can't snark on this one. It is despicable thuggery. Arggggh!

  • mwittier

    “I think this woman should consider what type of materials she brings to hearings,” said Lamborn. “Maybe that’s something she wants to consider.”

    "…this woman…"

    Why does that sound so especially threatening/insulting, coming from him?

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