TURNCOAT NEWS  4:50 pm June 7, 2012

Jeb Bush, Liberated By His Own Irrelevance, Says GOP Is ‘Short-Sighted’

by Liz Colville

sanity subject to change

Remember a very long time ago, during a Republican presidential debate last August (oh my god, TIME), when one of those moderator fellows asked the candidates whether they would reject a debt deal that required 10 dollars in spending cuts for every dollar in tax increases, and how everyone raised their hand to say that they would reject such a deal, even though Jon Huntsman later admitted that he didn’t mean to raise his hand, because he is not actually crazy? Well, Jeb Bush would now like to say that, because no one cares, he is free to admit that he would accept such a deal, and that also, the Republican party in general is “short-sighted” on immigration and tax policy issues, but he is only saying this because he is not running for office, and because Charlie Rose made him feel that he was in a safe space.

Granted, Rose, in a CBS interview Thursday morning, prompted Bush by asking whether he was “worried about the direction of your party.” But Bush was happy to opine that, well, yes, his party is “short-sighted” on two of the huge issues that it tends to dwell on: taxes and immigration.

Here’s the exchange:

In other turncoat news, enlightened vegan Bill Clinton thinks that Obama should lay off attacks on Romney’s tenure at Bain Capital and says he thinks Romney actually did wonderfully as a businessman, and Obama supporter Jackson Browne says he will still vote for Obama in November but the singer is not that into him at all, because he is now just “the lesser of two evils.” [Think Progress]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 108 comments }

nounverb911 June 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Jar Jar Bush would have a better chance of winning than Jeb.

Infrogmation June 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

But Jeb is "the smart one"! Just like Moe in the Three Stooges!

Barb June 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

That's sweet of Jackson Browne to stop beating Daryl Hannah long enough to endorse Obama.

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 5:09 pm

He must have long arms, last I heard she was up in a tree in Tanzania or something

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I hadn't heard that news about him beating sweet Daryl. Must not have made a big splash on the front page of my local newspaper.

George Skullfry June 8, 2012 at 12:44 am

It was quite a while ago. True, though.

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm

I just looked up Jackson Browne, and he's neither a Jackson, nor brown. What gives?

iburl June 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Seems like it would have been easier to call his brother when he was president to complain about all this shit.

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Dubya wouldn't listen to his daddy because he listened to a "higher father" instead. Mebbe he had a higher brother, too.

Geminisunmars June 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

That was probably Neil.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:00 pm

He tried, but Laura figured out how to turn the caller ID on, so every time Jeb called, Duhbya let it go to voicemail.

arduinohacker June 7, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Maybe not so much by irrelevance, but by a past of making millions with money from Panamanian sources.

littlebigdaddy June 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm

You know this is the Bush '16 campaign in embryo–the only non-crazy Republican.

HippieEsq June 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

if Jeb is waiting out the wave of "crazy" I'm afraid he'll be waiting longer than 2016. It's going to take decades for darwnisim (or whatever else might work) to fix what is wrong with the GOP primary process right now.

imissopus June 8, 2012 at 1:02 am

(or whatever else might work)

Fire. And lots of it.

SeedCapital June 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Bush '16: Third Time is the Charm

Not_So_Much June 7, 2012 at 5:58 pm

He's not crazy, but I fear that he's evil as fuck. Which might be worse.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Based on nothing whatsoever, I think he's even meaner than his brother, and god knows his brother was a prick.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Embryo!! Oh, no, that means it's a person, or something!

littlebigdaddy June 7, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Embryo Jar Bush approves of this message.

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Shit gets real when you are in the Charlie Rose Trust Tree.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

It's probably better than the Axl Rose Trust Tree.

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Silly Soros – Roses don't grow on trees.

pinkocommi June 7, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Papa Bush is right. Jeb is "the smart one." And, what does that make W.?

nounverb911 June 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

A war criminal?

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 5:01 pm

The pickling brine for Fetus Jar Bush?

CivicHoliday June 7, 2012 at 5:05 pm

A delightful commemorative hat rack?

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

The family drunk?

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Now, now; he's also a cokehead.

widestanceromance June 7, 2012 at 5:15 pm

W? No one in the GOP has ever heard of this fellow.

Exhausted66 June 7, 2012 at 5:17 pm

The successful one.

(Joke's on us!)

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

A Republican.

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 5:22 pm

The smart ass?

Estproph June 7, 2012 at 5:23 pm

A doorknob?

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Doorknobs are useful

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Dick Smothers?

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Leotarded?

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Being the smart Bush is like being the non-annoying Kardashian.

Antispandex June 7, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Oh please, dear sweet baby Jesus, please don't let this be a prelude to another Bush presidency! I just couldn't take "Bush 2016"…I'm sort of getting older and …no, please…

hollywooddood June 7, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Sorry, Jeb, but it's just too soon for another brutally stupid Bush.

SexySmurf June 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Bush/Clinton 2016!!!!!

Let's just stop pretending we're still a democracy.

Joshua Norton June 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Bush was happy to opine that, well, yes, his party is “short-sighted” on two of the huge issues that they tend to dwell on: taxes and immigration.

Eeeesh! Like listening to a rapist saying "we need to make night joggers less sexy"

SayItWithWookies June 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Jackson Browne? The singer who was sorta the edgier James Taylor, who was last relevant in the late '80s with "Lawyers in Love?" That Jackson Browne? Well I'm just gonna have to wait to hear what Neil Sedaka thinks before I carve this opinion in stone.

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 5:16 pm

who was last relevant in the late '80s with "Lawyers in Love?"

CLARENCE CLEMONS LIBEL!

(on which Darryl Hannah actually sang)

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

JB (not Jeb Bush) has been runnin' on empty for years now.

Estproph June 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Perhaps, but he has prayed for America.

SayItWithWookies June 7, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Thanks for reminding me — I'll hold that against him as well.

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Well, let's hope "Runnin' on Empty" becomes real relevant to Mittens this fall…

Blueb4sunrise June 7, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Tough crowd.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:04 pm

"Jackson Browne? The singer who was sorta the edgier James Taylor, who was last relevant in the late '80s with "Lawyers in Love?" That Jackson Browne?"

I'm not sure; every time I tried to Google him, I ended up with some guy named Rick.

MaxNeanderthal June 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm

As the Bush's were the bagmen for the Nazi's, they'd know all about tricky monetary and immigration issues…

BloviateMe June 7, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I'm not watching the video if nobody's getting bitch-slapped. Major yawn.

HippieEsq June 7, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Wonkette ought to buy pair of golden TruckNutz for any GOP politician who has the gonads to say these things while actually in office.

Wile E. Quixote June 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Yeah, this should go down in history with Robert S. McNamara coming out and saying that the Vietnam war was a bad idea, 20 years after the war was ended and Albert Speer coming out and saying that Hitler was a bastard and that Naziism was bad, in 1946.

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 5:08 pm

In fairness, you don't need really long vision to wank a tiny penis.

scvirginia June 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm

If your last name is Bush or Clinton, I'm not int…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 7, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Bush 2016
Cause third times a charm!

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 5:42 pm

The family will be like the first football team that won three superbowls. They of course will get the ring, but instead of just some plebeian stones and precious metal, the gold in these rings will be be forged over the coals of burning souls.

widestanceromance June 7, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Why do I think some horrible "accident" is about to befall this man very soon?

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Because you're an optimist.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Hey-O!

nonbeliever7 June 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Sounds like Jeb just lost his SecState job to Orly Taitz.

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Maybe I'm just being grumpy*, but the Bill Clinton story is so old (scroll down to near the end) that moss is growing on it and he's already apologized three different times and made other flubs not helpful to Barry since then.

*Yes, I am being grumpy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 5:41 pm

A former Wonketeer agrees with you: http://www.salon.com/2012/06/07/an_urgent_plea_to

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm

"the Bill Clinton story is so old"

Audience: HOW OLD IS IT??

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Yeah, you are a bit grumpy. And, the media also sucks, a lot. So, it's kind of a wash.

widestanceromance June 7, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Calling them 'sighted' of any kind is a bit of a stretch, doncha think?

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"It was living proof I'm not running for anything"

Oh BS–it's living proof that you are angling for 2016.

Jeb vs. Frothy Mix–looking forward to the freak show already…

Exhausted66 June 7, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Ya see! Brownes vote for Obama no matter what.

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 5:19 pm

"Is this party only interested in less taxes, less regulation, and, rather than policies that promote growth, well, bigger tent?"

Of course not, Charlie–there's also that business about putting womenz and gheyz and blahz and immigantz in their places…

Chichikovovich June 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Well, they're certainly not interested in producing Jobs, Jobs, Jobs, despite amazingly persistent false rumors to the contrary toward the end of 2010.

ChapterUndVerse June 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Doesn't the tent get bigger if you throw all the non-personz out? My tent mathematiks is pretty rusty.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

"Short sighted" is polite for "fucking blind."

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm

"we need to change–not our views, not our policies, but our messaging"

Translation:

Oh shit, the voters are on to the Big Lie…

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I can't wait for the next three days of FOX News coverage of how JEB is undercutting Romney's campaign, to balance out the three days of coverage they gave to Clinton.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ June 7, 2012 at 5:26 pm

How mavericky. And moderate-ey. He should watch his fence-riding mouth, or a cabal of wingnuts will stuff him in a beaker like his brother.

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 5:27 pm

No self-respecting prog takes their marching orders from Jackson Browne. Everybody knows Ry Cooder is The Man With The Plan.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Next big JEB Bush revelations:

1) We really shouldn't invade countries based upon faulty intelligence and what is good for our Vice President's former company.

2) Trying to run a government like a company is a stupid idea.

3) Compromising on political ideas is the best thing for the country.

4) Count all of the votes!!!

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm

5) Don't put up a "Mission Accomplished" banner before the mission is actually accomplished.

6) Don't get caught laughing, eating cake, and playing guitar while the dead bodies are still floating in the water after you failed to prevent a flood.

But yeah, Jebbie is SO going to sit at the children's table next Thanksgiving.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 5:29 pm

By the way, did they play "The Final Countdown" when Bush was brought on set?

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Sorry Jeb, marrying a brown woman makes you unelectable to the Republican base.

freddymcmurray June 8, 2012 at 4:49 am

Tell that to Thomas Jefferson! Oh wait, you said marry.

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Jeb, can you show us on the tax code where the common sense touched you?

EatsBabyDingos June 7, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Is Jeb the one in the fetal jar? I can't keep them straight.

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Any word on what his federal-funds-scrounging-always-one-step-ahead-of-the-law brothers Neil and Marvin have to say about that?

Chichikovovich June 7, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Though the immigration part isn't really a departure from Bush family doctrine. Brother Jorge W. tried to do the immigration reform thing (Rove can see the handwriting on the demographic wall as well as anyone) but the party revolted, as I recall.

Nostrildamus June 7, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Enough Nazi stories for today!

rickmaci June 7, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Gotta give him credit that he refuses to sign on to Gomer Norquist's dance card. Other than that he's just a slightly different flavor of the Republicon venom.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I thought the GOP wouldn't even let you in the door these days unless you fellated Norquist, then signed a loyalty oath to him in blood. Does Pigboy get a free pass because of his last name?

mavenmaven June 7, 2012 at 6:04 pm

The fun thing would be if as a result of this, the Repubs excommunicated Bush, and he became the Democratic nominee in 2016. Would that not be amusing?

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:14 pm

If by "amusing", you mean "surreal, yet projectile-vomit-inducing", then yes.

Tundra Grifter June 7, 2012 at 6:08 pm

"Super Fake" – You just can't believe everything you read on the Internets.

Actually, you never could…

Chet Kincaid June 7, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Whatever it is that Bill Clinton's up to, I hope that the segment of Poutragers who were getting all nostalgic for the Mrs. Pantsuits Candidacy last year at the peak of Hopey-Hate, now have a good understanding of how much further to the right the Sainted Clintons are than the disgustingly Centrist Obama. Bill's a backstabbing asshole, also.

These shenanigans are why I was more excited that Obama was black than that Clinton had a vagina, in 2008.

notreelyhelping June 7, 2012 at 6:20 pm

And then Grover Norquist barged in, threw a glass of water in his face, and tried to air-slap him, until Charlie Rose stood up, and Grover fled the studio. Unfortunately, that part got cut.

Ryy June 7, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Jeb Bush, old politician whose brother has made irrelevant with irrelevant sauce:
Opinion on anything = no value

Bill Clinton, old politician who started us down the path of the banking crisis, can't keep it in his pants, and refuses to believe no one cares anymore?:
Opinion on anything = humorous, but no value

Jackson Brown, old rock star (who in me opinion was dull as dullness):
Opinion on politics = Seriously?

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Just two issues, huh?

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Soooo? Nobody – Right, Left or Center gives a flying fuck what anybody named Bush thinks about anything.

owhatever June 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

If Jeb is so smart, how come stupid George made him look like a pussy by elbowing into line in front of him. For 2014, Jeb plans to come out of the woodwork with a pre-emptive attack on Iraq by the Flodria National Guards and a unified militia. Every Bush attacks Iraq. It's a family tradition.

MosesInvests June 8, 2012 at 12:25 am

Jeb got held up by the fact that his first run at the Governor's mansion was against "Walkin'" Lawton Chiles, one of the best politicians that I can remember in Florida, and his campaign was basically, "Vote for me, I'm George Bush's son." That allowed wastrel older brother George Dubya to catch up with him. Also, too, Jeb didn't have an evil political genius like Rove working for him.

chascates June 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Well, Jeb's the one whose wearing glasses.

HolyCow!! June 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm

No, they are obsessed with four issues. He forgot gays & abortions.

freddymcmurray June 8, 2012 at 4:54 am

Five: freedom fries.

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Jeb may be a low-down gutter snipe, but his Karl Rove impersonation is top shelf.

And by the way, Jeb: 'gators got your granny.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Everybody said it was a shame, cause his mama was a workin on the chain gang.
[a low-down, spiteful, straight razor totin' woman!]

Chow Yun Flat June 7, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Jeb thought that since no one watches Charlie Rose it was OK to act like a semi-rational human being

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Ha, somebody told Porkchop Jeb that wearing glasses would make him look honest and smart, and he actually bought it!

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Bush? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that family has already spent that nickel.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Jeb is the Bush clone that went the least wrong, but is still highly defective.

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