wonkette has left its couch

Your Wonkette Is At The Big Liberal Blog Conference, Taking Pictures And Such

Ugh, they spelled the name of this blog wrong again! It’s spelled “Guardian.” Anyway, your Wonkette is here at the 2012 Netroots Nation conference in little-who-cares-whatever state Rhode Island, to watch liberals “pop off” about the issues of the day. We’ve already had a vegetarian wrap for lunch and watched a movie about rape in the military, at the same time, within half an hour of arriving.

So who is here? All the Internet liberal people. We saw BlogAds’ Henry Copeland, who is actually the secret over-overlord ruler of Wonkette. (You must kneel before him.) Adam Weinstein of Mother Jones is triplefisting beer with no pants on, it’s really embarrassing. And lookywho, it’s former Wonkette waterboarding editor and President of Raw Story, Megan Carpentier, along with Chris Goff of the Evil Teachers’ Unions.

We’ll post more dumb pictures and stuff later. Are any of you dips in Providence either for this conference or — god forbid — to live here? Let us know at jim@wonkette.com and we can drink together at Roger Williams’ grave.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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  1. SayItWithWookies

    Jim if you get tired of the vegetarian fare, James O'Keefe should be wandering around trying to get liberals to eat a fetusburger. Tell him you'll only have one if it's a girl.

    1. noodlesalad

      Do they still come with that stem cell mustard? That's what really makes the burger.

  2. noodlesalad

    Don't forget to sign up for the Breitbart ouija board session during tomorrow afternoon's breakout!

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    You should ask them to make the nametags even bigger for next year. Like maybe the size of a paper plate?

        1. anniegetyerfun

          Well, I at least expected Jim to call himself something else. Like Dick Buttsechs or something.

    1. qwerty42

      The nametags are on a lanyard. So they hang down the front of your shirt. Conference organizers usually try to use large type so the guys are not staring at women's chests trying to read the name. Somewhat awkward at professional meetings. I had some experience with these sorts of things in a previous life.

      1. BelleSC

        So now with the name tags on lanyards hanging down closer to the belt we get to check out the guy's package before accepting the drink offer?

    1. Baconzgood

      If you talk smack on the Steelers I'll reach through my monitor and bitch slap you.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Hey, I ain't talking shit about anyone's sports team this week, after watching the monumental collapse of my Spurs over the last few days.

          1. BaldarTFlagass

            Well, since 1999 the only three Western Conf teams to go to the finals have been the Mavs, the Lakers, and the Spurs. OKC took out all three in the playoffs this year. Methinks we have seen a changing of the guard.

          2. BaldarTFlagass

            Being originally a Masshole, I don't know what I would have done had the Celtics and the Spurs met up in the Finals. I sure hope the Celts can take out the Heat. Tonight would be good.

          1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

            But surely not a ginger. I'm pretty sure science has proven that gingers don't even have souls.

          2. deanbooth

            Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me asked this weekend what was one of Up With People's early songs. The answer: "God Doesn't Have a Skin Color."

      1. Estproph

        It is much better than PBR, and it's local. I can't speak to the hipsters, though.

  4. 102415

    Please don't take the blue *acid* or eat anyone's face unless you know they are okay.

    1. MittBorg

      I'm tellin' ya, those recent zombie attacks have laid a WHOLE new dimension of meaning upon "I'm'a eat my girl/boy friend."

  5. Goonemeritus

    Not that I envy the conservative bloggers much but even I admit strippers sound better than veggie wraps and rape guilt documentaries.

    1. MittBorg

      This from a man who admits to reading Noam Chomsky aloud to the wife right before crying himself to sleep. You're going on my list of self-hating liberals, Goonemeritus.

  6. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I assume, with all these Communist in one place, that "Salon" is simply the Cyrillic spelling of "Guardian".

  7. Mumbletypeg

    Megan Carpentier, along with Chris Goff

    I'm not sure where they're originally from and all, but their smiling faces seem to radiate "It's a great day to be in Rhode Island!"

    Nikki Haley would approve; maybe would suggest Megan show more teeth~

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Or, it could be that their smiling faces are radiating "Oooh, these shrooms are really kicking in!"

  8. freakishlywrong

    This is EXACTLY like what the RNC convention will be in Tampa later this year. Informed, tolerant, funny, unself aware. Yep. Just like it.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    Hey, wait. Did you steal Pareene's registration kit when it showed up in the mail there at Salon?

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    I like Newport. You should go over there and try to score with the chicks at Salve Regina. But you probably don't have a rental car. Maybe you can score with some of that Brown squank, though I guess class is out right now.

      1. widestanceromance

        All food served must be high in fiber so everyone can enjoy smelling–and tweeting about–each other's farts as an evening activity.

        1. MittBorg

          Let's be honest, hon. As farts go, the most odoriferous ones are those associated with a LOW-fiber diet. It'll be like dining with moo-cows. They'll fart a lot, but it won't be memorable.

          Over at GhostAndrewBreitbartHQ, however, the fart smellers must be in seven kinds of heaven — or hell.

  11. freakishlywrong

    I fully expect this to get the slavering media attention that the wingtar.uh…special needs.. fever swamp comic con will receive when Babble Spice is the keynote speaker.

  12. Terry

    "We’ve already had a vegetarian wrap for lunch"

    Walk over to Federal Hill and those wonderful Italian restaurants. A nice meal of veal will counteract any vegan stuff you've been served.

  13. chascates

    Jim, you should have registered as James O'Keefe to prove how big blog ID fraud is.

    1. Geminisunmars

      I don't know. A name tag with the name James O'Keefe on it could cause a convention of tree huggers to turn violent.

  14. niblick77

    "We’ll post more dumb pictures and stuff later." – Reader note, "the pictures are NOT dumb, it is the people that are in them that are……!"

  15. Antispandex

    " We’ve already had a vegetarian wrap for lunch and watched a movie about rape in the military, at the same time, within half an hour of arriving. "

    Woo Hoo! Teh Librals sure know how to party!

  16. Opportunisticly_Joe

    A few of my liberal drinking buddies tried to coax me into attending and/or shanghai me to run their booth for them, but as fun as it sounded, it was crazy short notice and I have an actual real job, for which I have to actually show up to work and wear pants, even.

    This is also why I never update my own blog, incidentally. Well, that and video games.

  17. ttommyunger

    I find that picture strangely disturbing; yet I am unwillingly becoming aroused….

  18. Spurning Beer

    Shut up, Jim Newell. Rhode Island is awesome. You should go to the Waterfire thingie along the river Saturday. A couple of my college pals developed it.

  19. Tommmcattt

    Did you at least get drunk for free, Newell? After all this time, have we taught you nothing?

  20. Isner_Mahut

    Here listening to some very earnest people talk about how Wisconsin was not a total shitshow. It's kind of therapeutic. Only slightly hung over. Bars close early here?

Comments are closed.