Famous Senate coot Chuck Grassley has now forgotten how to operate his beleaguered cell phone beyond any function other than to beam nonsense to the Twitters. HOW DOES THE SILENCE BUTTON WORK, CONSARNIT? Let this be a warning to you, children. [Buzzfeed]

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  • nounverb911

    Couldn't he just cut the string off the can?

  • Barb

    That could have been the alarm on his Depends undergarment.
    Someone should check him for a stinky.

    • Containment breach!! Abandon britches!!

    • vodkamuppet

      That would be David Vitters job, right?

      • HistoriBarb

        He can probably recommend someone for the job.

    • JustPixelz

      His undergarments are always full of shit.

    • Isyaignert

      Barb, I luv you! You always make me shoot green tea out of my nose.

  • SorosBot

    How Reaganesque of him.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Can I call you back? I'm blathering on the Senate floor right now."

  • His cellphone says the same thing about his Twitter feed.

  • OOPS–time to go to the big boy's room and change your diaper, Senator Grassley.

  • Goonemeritus

    Who the hell would choose to talk to Senator Grassley in the first place?

    • *muffled voice*

      "Uhhhhhhhh, I'd like a pizza to go and no anchovies?"

      • MosesInvests

        I'm sorry, you have the wrong number-I spell my name DANGER.

    • ttommyunger

      "Click!" Did you hang up? "No, I just said "Click".

  • Mittens Howell, III

    His tweets are fucked up, but I love his 'skidmarks and colostomy bags' themed tumbler.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I didn't know that Jitterbug had that ringtone.

  • mavenmaven

    He needs a younger hipper ring tone to match his tweets. Maybe some of that hippy hop the Am ppl likes nowadays.

  • smashedinhat

    Just one of his grandkids fuckin with him. They don't like him either.

    • OneYieldRegular

      "Hey, look, granddad's on CSPAN. Let's call him."

  • He is thinking, "Damn–missed another one of those text messages from Wal-Mart.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Pretty standard for a standard republitard standard politician.

  • To push back on ethanol, have oil & gas developers been fracking the Chuckster's brain?

  • Probably NObama just sits and watches CSPAN all day and then calls people when they're talking to embarrass them.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Oh, I'm sure there's an aide or intern that does this for him.

    • LouBristol

      This made me laugh.

  • Schmannnity

    Larry Craig? I gotta call you back.

  • Then he gets a text message:


  • That's right up there with the time Mrs. Kincaid rang my unmuted cellphone at work, right in the middle of the moment of silence we were observing one year after 9/11. And last year, when Siri started talking out of her purse at a funeral.

    • "It seems you're at a funeral. Would you like to buy a casket? How about getting the widow some nice lingerie?"

      • bagofmice

        That sounds like the child of Siri and Clippy.


  • edgydrifter

    I'm truly disappointed that his ringtone isn't In Da Club.

    • SexySmurf

      I think something by Ol' Dirty Bastard would be more fitting.

  • Baconzgood


    • Grassley looks like he's been driven over twenty miles of Derp road.

  • The Senate should hire Kevin Spacey as Sergeant at Arms for cell phones.

    • James Michael Curley

      Also Russel Crowe for those still using a landline telephone.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud*

    *Cloud as in wireless

  • Fare la Volpe

    I'm calling bullshit.

    Nobody wants to talk to Chuck Grassley.

    • pinkocommi

      You think it is like those single people who send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day? Chuck Grassley has two cell phones, so he can program one to call him on the other so he looks like he has at least one acquaintance who wants to talk to him?

  • chicken_thief

    Usually he has it on vibrate and shoved up his ass for sexy times when the rentboy calls.

  • WhatTheHeck

    You speak into this hole here, the voices go round n round, and it comes out here.
    Well, I’ll be…

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      What does this reference? I remember TV's Frank doing this same line with the Doctor Sax invention exchange.

      • WhatTheHeck

        Oh the joys of sax.

  • Fare la Volpe

    Now tell how this is Obama's fault, Chuckie.

  • RedneckMuslin

    He should ask Ted Stevens how it works. Oh yeah, right.

    (enter dead Ted Stevens joke here)

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    My daughter has that as an alarm. It was time for his nap.

  • Ducksworthy

    I (just barely) recall Ronnie Raygun promising to resign if he ever noticed he was getting senile. Now, at my present advanced aged, I know that when you get senile one of the first things to go is the part of the brain that could recognize you were getting senile. What?

    • JustPixelz

      I thought the first thing to go was the ability to tell staff "no, that would be wrong". Of course all my remaining knowledge of senility comes from watching Reagan on teevee.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Pretty smart of him to set his alarm to wake himself up during his speech. Nobody else was awake enough to notice.

  • "You see, what they call a 'cellular network' is really a series of towers. And these towers are like maypoles. These maypoles all have thousands of strings with cans on the ends of them. And so, when you drive by one of these 'cellular towers', you are picking up the can that's connected to the maypole. Look, this is all very complicated!"

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    I wouldn't be too hard on him. My mom just keeps her cell phone in her purse, never recharging it, and wonders why it doesn't work when she wants to use it.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    What a maroon. Chuck can't even remember to silence his phone when he's addressing the the US Senate? I even remember to turn off my ringer when I'm going into the library.

    I guess what I'm doing there is actually kind of important.

  • Callyson

    Okay, which one of you mischievous Wonketteers got hold of his cell # and placed the call to interrupt his boring speech about…what was it about again?

    • Joey_Blau

      how killing random people with drones was really really bad but he didn't want it to stop.

    • Tommy1733


  • Guppy

    How did he get Mark Foley's phone?

  • vodkamuppet

    He's a US Senator and he's using a Samsung? Dude, spring for a blackberry at least.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Grassley twatted that poor Union-made phone to death!

  • OneYieldRegular

    "I saw what you did, and I know who you are."

  • Joey_Blau

    "the standards that then senator Obama laid out."… !!

    forget it! I will fillibuster allz yourz nomineez!!

  • niblick77

    What's that one about teaching old dogs?

  • Yes, Kirsten, I agree that "beleaguered" is the perfect way to describe Grassley's cell phone.

  • Tommy1733

    Wow – the interruption of his thought train (which was already on a shaky stretch of track) seems to have caused full derailment.

  • ttommyunger

    I cannot in good conscience snark on this one. I am an "old" struggling through the first 48 hours with a brand new iphone. Going from a Mil-Speck Casio Brigade to a 4S is quite the shock, youngsters, quite the shock.

    • chascates

      I worked briefly for Apple Tech Support (Level 1-idiot class) and was taught the old NATO phonetic alphabet. When reading back the serial numbers to a caller to confirm I asked "that was A for Alpha, T for Tango, V for Victor, " etc. You'll be ahead in this regard, plus you can annoy the almost-minimum wage contract Apple employees (Apple contracts out most tech support, it's just cheaper) by talking about walkie-talkies and the like.
      And people who are really, really up on all the features of the latest gadget are just sad, compulsive types who have no other interests. I bought 4 books on using my Blackberry Curve but couldn't make myself read even one of them.

      • ttommyunger

        You and I are soul-kin, and I say that with no joy.

    • Isyaignert

      But, your handle says "ttommyYUNGER" doesn't that mean you're a yungster named TTommy?

      You will love your smart phone; it's life-changing!

      • ttommyunger

        Thanks, I needed that.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Can you hear me now? Good Sorry!"

  • Isyaignert

    Cellphones are a series of tubes, not trucks, see.

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