KARMA  11:40 am June 7, 2012

Chuck Grassley’s Weary Cell Phone Turns Against Him (VIDEO)

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Famous Senate coot Chuck Grassley has now forgotten how to operate his beleaguered cell phone beyond any function other than to beam nonsense to the Twitters. HOW DOES THE SILENCE BUTTON WORK, CONSARNIT? Let this be a warning to you, children. [Buzzfeed]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 74 comments }

nounverb911 June 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

Couldn't he just cut the string off the can?

Barb June 7, 2012 at 11:43 am

That could have been the alarm on his Depends undergarment.
Someone should check him for a stinky.

Chet Kincaid June 7, 2012 at 11:57 am

Containment breach!! Abandon britches!!

vodkamuppet June 7, 2012 at 12:31 pm

That would be David Vitters job, right?

HistoriBarb June 7, 2012 at 3:51 pm

He can probably recommend someone for the job.

JustPixelz June 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

His undergarments are always full of shit.

Isyaignert June 8, 2012 at 1:54 am

Barb, I luv you! You always make me shoot green tea out of my nose.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

How Reaganesque of him.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

"Can I call you back? I'm blathering on the Senate floor right now."

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

His cellphone says the same thing about his Twitter feed.

Chow Yun Flat June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

OOPS–time to go to the big boy's room and change your diaper, Senator Grassley.

Goonemeritus June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

Who the hell would choose to talk to Senator Grassley in the first place?

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

*muffled voice*

"Uhhhhhhhh, I'd like a pizza to go and no anchovies?"

MosesInvests June 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number-I spell my name DANGER.

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm

*click*

"What?"

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 7:16 pm

"Click!" Did you hang up? "No, I just said "Click".

Mittens Howell, III June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

His tweets are fucked up, but I love his 'skidmarks and colostomy bags' themed tumbler.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

I didn't know that Jitterbug had that ringtone.

Blueb4sunrise June 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

I think it's from this film
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNwhwwuRnB0

mavenmaven June 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

He needs a younger hipper ring tone to match his tweets. Maybe some of that hippy hop the Am ppl likes nowadays.

smashedinhat June 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

Just one of his grandkids fuckin with him. They don't like him either.

OneYieldRegular June 7, 2012 at 12:47 pm

"Hey, look, granddad's on CSPAN. Let's call him."

Chow Yun Flat June 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

He is thinking, "Damn–missed another one of those text messages from Wal-Mart.

CrunchyKnee June 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

Pretty standard for a standard republitard standard politician.

weejee June 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

To push back on ethanol, have oil & gas developers been fracking the Chuckster's brain?

johnnyzhivago June 7, 2012 at 11:47 am

Probably NObama just sits and watches CSPAN all day and then calls people when they're talking to embarrass them.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

Oh, I'm sure there's an aide or intern that does this for him.

LouBristol June 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm

This made me laugh.

Schmannnity June 7, 2012 at 11:48 am

Larry Craig? I gotta call you back.

johnnyzhivago June 7, 2012 at 11:48 am

Then he gets a text message:

"THGHT U SAID HNDYCAPPD STALL IN MENS RM AT RED CARPET CLUB AT 4:45??"

Chet Kincaid June 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

That's right up there with the time Mrs. Kincaid rang my unmuted cellphone at work, right in the middle of the moment of silence we were observing one year after 9/11. And last year, when Siri started talking out of her purse at a funeral.

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 11:56 am

"It seems you're at a funeral. Would you like to buy a casket? How about getting the widow some nice lingerie?"

bagofmice June 8, 2012 at 8:48 am

That sounds like the child of Siri and Clippy.

Chill_Bill June 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

FKN IDIT 4GOT 2 TRN CLLPN OFF

edgydrifter June 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

I'm truly disappointed that his ringtone isn't In Da Club.

SexySmurf June 7, 2012 at 11:52 am

I think something by Ol' Dirty Bastard would be more fitting.

Baconzgood June 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

DERPA DERP!

actor212 June 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

Grassley looks like he's been driven over twenty miles of Derp road.

Chow Yun Flat June 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

The Senate should hire Kevin Spacey as Sergeant at Arms for cell phones.

James Michael Curley June 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Also Russel Crowe for those still using a landline telephone.

ManchuCandidate June 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

Old Man Yells at Cloud*

*Cloud as in wireless

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

I'm calling bullshit.

Nobody wants to talk to Chuck Grassley.

pinkocommi June 7, 2012 at 5:04 pm

You think it is like those single people who send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day? Chuck Grassley has two cell phones, so he can program one to call him on the other so he looks like he has at least one acquaintance who wants to talk to him?

chicken_thief June 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

Usually he has it on vibrate and shoved up his ass for sexy times when the rentboy calls.

WhatTheHeck June 7, 2012 at 11:56 am

You speak into this hole here, the voices go round n round, and it comes out here.
Well, I’ll be…

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

What does this reference? I remember TV's Frank doing this same line with the Doctor Sax invention exchange.

WhatTheHeck June 7, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Oh the joys of sax.

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Now tell how this is Obama's fault, Chuckie.

RedneckMuslin June 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

He should ask Ted Stevens how it works. Oh yeah, right.

(enter dead Ted Stevens joke here)

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm

My daughter has that as an alarm. It was time for his nap.

Ducksworthy June 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I (just barely) recall Ronnie Raygun promising to resign if he ever noticed he was getting senile. Now, at my present advanced aged, I know that when you get senile one of the first things to go is the part of the brain that could recognize you were getting senile. What?

JustPixelz June 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I thought the first thing to go was the ability to tell staff "no, that would be wrong". Of course all my remaining knowledge of senility comes from watching Reagan on teevee.

RedneckMuslin June 7, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Pretty smart of him to set his alarm to wake himself up during his speech. Nobody else was awake enough to notice.

Chet Kincaid June 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm

"You see, what they call a 'cellular network' is really a series of towers. And these towers are like maypoles. These maypoles all have thousands of strings with cans on the ends of them. And so, when you drive by one of these 'cellular towers', you are picking up the can that's connected to the maypole. Look, this is all very complicated!"

randcoolcatdaddy June 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I wouldn't be too hard on him. My mom just keeps her cell phone in her purse, never recharging it, and wonders why it doesn't work when she wants to use it.

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2012 at 12:15 pm

What a maroon. Chuck can't even remember to silence his phone when he's addressing the the US Senate? I even remember to turn off my ringer when I'm going into the library.

I guess what I'm doing there is actually kind of important.

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Okay, which one of you mischievous Wonketteers got hold of his cell # and placed the call to interrupt his boring speech about…what was it about again?

Joey_Blau June 7, 2012 at 1:01 pm

how killing random people with drones was really really bad but he didn't want it to stop.

Tommy1733 June 7, 2012 at 4:51 pm

PLEASE SHARE THIS NUMBER WITH ALL OF US

Guppy June 7, 2012 at 12:21 pm

How did he get Mark Foley's phone?

vodkamuppet June 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm

He's a US Senator and he's using a Samsung? Dude, spring for a blackberry at least.

Oblios_Cap June 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Grassley twatted that poor Union-made phone to death!

OneYieldRegular June 7, 2012 at 12:49 pm

"I saw what you did, and I know who you are."

Joey_Blau June 7, 2012 at 1:00 pm

"the standards that then senator Obama laid out."… !!

forget it! I will fillibuster allz yourz nomineez!!

niblick77 June 7, 2012 at 1:07 pm

What's that one about teaching old dogs?

Designer_Radio June 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Yes, Kirsten, I agree that "beleaguered" is the perfect way to describe Grassley's cell phone.

Tommy1733 June 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Wow – the interruption of his thought train (which was already on a shaky stretch of track) seems to have caused full derailment.

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 7:19 pm

I cannot in good conscience snark on this one. I am an "old" struggling through the first 48 hours with a brand new iphone. Going from a Mil-Speck Casio Brigade to a 4S is quite the shock, youngsters, quite the shock.

chascates June 7, 2012 at 7:40 pm

I worked briefly for Apple Tech Support (Level 1-idiot class) and was taught the old NATO phonetic alphabet. When reading back the serial numbers to a caller to confirm I asked "that was A for Alpha, T for Tango, V for Victor, " etc. You'll be ahead in this regard, plus you can annoy the almost-minimum wage contract Apple employees (Apple contracts out most tech support, it's just cheaper) by talking about walkie-talkies and the like.
And people who are really, really up on all the features of the latest gadget are just sad, compulsive types who have no other interests. I bought 4 books on using my Blackberry Curve but couldn't make myself read even one of them.

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 7:44 pm

You and I are soul-kin, and I say that with no joy.

Isyaignert June 8, 2012 at 1:59 am

But, your handle says "ttommyYUNGER" doesn't that mean you're a yungster named TTommy?

You will love your smart phone; it's life-changing!

ttommyunger June 8, 2012 at 7:44 am

Thanks, I needed that.

C_R_Eature June 7, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"Can you hear me now? Good Sorry!"

Isyaignert June 8, 2012 at 1:58 am

Cellphones are a series of tubes, not trucks, see.

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