THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS  6:10 pm June 7, 2012

Jonah Goldberg Still Babbling About Stupid Young People

by Kris E. Benson

Is Jonah Goldberg bellyaching about something today? Well, it is a “day,” so indeed he is! Currently he is incredibly upset that those hysterical Obama-lovers at Media Matters didn’t bother to ask him his opinion about young people, even though he already gave these opinions to the Daily Caller when he said that young people are “so frickin’ stupid” that we should consider raising the voting age.

And to be fair to Jonah Goldberg, young people ARE so frickin’ stupid! Remember back in 2008, when all those 18-year-olds banded together to cause a global financial crisis? And don’t get us started on the legions of 18-year-olds that Moody’s put on notice in 2011 because they just up and refused to raise the debt ceiling. Kids these days! SO FRICKIN’ STUPID.

But we digress! How DARE Media Matters not ask Jonah Goldberg his opinion about his own previously expressed opinion that young people are “so frickin’ stupid?” Why would they go ask OTHER people about his opinion when they should have just asked him?

Via the NRO:

This guy at  Media Matters, Joe Strupp, who constantly (though unsuccessfully) seeks comment from me whenever he wants me to bad-mouth other conservatives failed to actually seek me out for comment in a story about … me.

Jonah Goldberg can perhaps be forgiven for thinking that the story is about him, given that he seems to think that so many things are about him. But in this case, the story was NOT about him. It was about whether or not young people agree with his assessments of them–specifically, that they shouldn’t be able to vote because they are “so frickin’ stupid.” Which for the record, is something he doesn’t ACTUALLY think, as it turns out. Unless they are not part of the OC Young Republicans, in which case, he might.

I have no doubt that members of the OC Young Republicans are well informed (I also would expect members of the College Democrats to be informed). Members of political activist groups are not necessarily representative of young people generally. The simple fact is that surveys show that young people generally are less knowledgeable about current events, news and the government generally than older people. Is anyone honestly shocked by this?

The link, by the way, goes to a quiz about the “major political parties” at the Pew website, which isn’t super helpful in assessing his claim that young people are “so frickin’ stupid,” but by all means, feel free to take the quiz and see how you do and whether or not you, like the nation’s 18-year-old, are “so frickin’ stupid.” Anyway, the point here is that Jonah Goldberg really wants to just EDUCATE young people, rather than pander to them, in hopes that they will someday stop being “so frickin’ stupid:”

We shouldn’t pander to young people just because they’re young, we should educate them. That’s the core insight and job of conservatism. Civilization is a process, a verb. It is something we do to the jumble of glandular impulses we call young people.  We are invaded every generation by barbarians, Hannah Arendt said, “we call them children.”

Apparently, the fact that young people should be educated BECAUSE they are young is the job of conservatism. And who better to educate these young people than someone who thinks that “civilization is a verb?

[NRO]

 

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{ 181 comments }

Come here a minute June 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm

See Dick civilization. Civilization, Dick, civilization!

smokefilledroommate June 8, 2012 at 5:51 am

Dick Cake, Jonah. Dick Cake!

iburl June 7, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Why does Jonah Goldberg hate our troops?

Jonah's solution to "Stupid" children? Private religious schools!!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2012 at 7:04 pm

What's his solution to people who know stuff, but still vote Republican?
You can educate a teabagger, but you can't make him think.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 7, 2012 at 6:16 pm

We shouldn’t pander to young people just because they’re young, we should educate them. That’s the core insight and job of conservatism.

Which is why, I suppose, Bobby Jindal is doing over the public school system in Louisiana and instead funding schools where the kids sit in an empty classroom and watch religious DVDs all day. And pay for it. Makes sense.

Civilization is a process, a verb.

It's not. Progress can be used as a verb, however.

Bearded dipshit.

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Let me try!

"We need to civilization this bitch."

Nope, you're right.

LionHeartSoyDog June 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

"the kids sit in an empty classroom"

That is very Zen.

Is Buddhism being "taught" there?

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 7:37 pm

No. It's Jesus all day and everyday.

not that Radio June 8, 2012 at 9:11 am

I dunno. Someone used "Dana Loesch" as a verb, to great comedic effect, over on the Shell Oil Rig Hoax thread. Let's keep an open mind.

ManchuCandidate June 7, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Shorter Jonah… "I once tied an onion to my belt as it was the style at the time."

Tommmcattt June 7, 2012 at 6:20 pm

YES! God you are funny, Manchu!

LionHeartSoyDog June 7, 2012 at 6:54 pm

i don't know what it means, and it made me laugh!!!

Tommmcattt June 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm
LionHeartSoyDog June 7, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Thanks for the memory jog.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Damn kids with their hippity-hops & transistor iPod thingies!

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 8:19 pm

And their Snoopy Doggie rap music.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 8:53 pm

And their music video games!

(I think that may may be the first reference I've made to "Heathers" on the Wonkette)

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I could watch that again.

doloras June 7, 2012 at 11:32 pm

You misspelled "MTV video games". Hope this helps. And I hope that our little eskimo is rubbin' noses with Jesus.

memzilla June 7, 2012 at 6:17 pm

I think JoGo is just mad because Media Matters wouldn't run his side-boob pictures.

[Good Lord, I just made myself throw up in my own mouth a little]

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Never mind the tits, JoGo, just GTFO…

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

(Presses back of wrist to forehead, reels)

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 6:33 pm

I don't think you want to see his upskirt pictures.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

(faints dead away with a horrendous thump while horking)

Jesus, youse guys.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Oh, memzilla! How COULD you.

Schmannnity June 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Hey Jonah, go suck your mother's dick.

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Luccianne likey; sonny boy, too.

scvirginia June 7, 2012 at 6:18 pm

I'll civilization you, ya maroon!

edgydrifter June 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

It's true. My daughters don't know jack about politics (but they do think Obama is "a nice man"). In their defense, they are 7 and 5. Honestly, though, I'd rather have them voting than a bitter egomaniac like Jonah the Whale.

Texan_Bulldog June 7, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Here my daughter's friends don't like Obama because he gives all their daddy's money to poor people. Oh, it's fun living in Tejas.

MosesInvests June 7, 2012 at 6:55 pm

I take it you're not in Travis County.

Texan_Bulldog June 7, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Close–Williamson County, where the redneck relatives of the Travis County folks live.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:18 pm

So, what you're saying is that Williamson is the trailer park to Travis?

coolhandnuke June 7, 2012 at 6:21 pm

That is one ugly, furry pie-hole…the perfect shape for a Kilstein fist.

WorkTheSaxofone June 7, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Oh. Well. Gosh. Hannah Arendt now, is it? Tell me more. About your mom, Jonah.

Callyson June 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

This guy at Media Matters, Joe Strupp, who constantly (though unsuccessfully) seeks comment from me whenever he wants me to bad-mouth other conservatives failed to actually seek me out for comment in a story about … me.

Yeah, how dare Strupp not follow the definition of insanity and keep trying to get me to comment, when I have refused to give him a comment in the past? Learning from experience–no fair!

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm

"As I've repeatedly demonstrated before, your weapons are useless!" — MST3K, Prince of Space

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Wow, I scored better than 92% of the public on fucking multiple choice questions like "Is John Boehner a: Republican or Democrat?" good god.

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I'm mad that my answer was limited to just Republican or Democrat. John Boehner will always be an orange, teary blob of 150 proof liquor to me.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

yeah, really–where's the radio button for "Leaking Orange Douchebag"?

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Or the question "which party supports reducing military spending", which doesn't let you give the correct answer, "neither".

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The Dems are more concerned about being accused of being weak on "defense" then they are about addressing the issue of our bloated, wasteful defense budget. It's absolutely verboten.

Chet Kincaid June 8, 2012 at 9:45 am

I believe you meant, "John Boehner will always be an orange, teary blob, reeking of Stetson, Chesterfields, and Harlequin orange liqueur." Always use the correct form when addressing the Speaker!

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Same here. "Which party tends to be conservative?" Seriously?

didgen June 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

I missed the question about which party is more likely to grow the government. Silly me, I thought they meant a comparision of recent history, not rhetoric. I'm pretty sure Obama's been pretty conservative vs Bush. I could be wrong though I guess.

edgydrifter June 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm

28% of respondents were offended by the use of the term "Democratic Party" rather than the more accepted "Democrat Party," "Socialist," or "Traitor," and refused to answer any questions.

17% of respondents are functionally illiterate and just clicked random places on the screen.

15% of respondents deliberately answered the questions incorrectly to "stick it to the man."

3% tried writing "Ron Paul" on their monitor with a Sharpie.

The remaining 29% meant well but are genuine dullards.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 6:47 pm

…23% answered either 'photosynthesis' or 'fragmentation' for every question
and 9% tried to click the monkey

flamingpdog June 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm

The other 91 % tried to spank the monkey.

Jukesgrrl June 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm

There aren't that many Wonkateers.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:19 pm

13% flung their poo at their computer.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 7:51 pm

That was my score, too. Easiest fuckin' quiz ever & I still score better than the 92% who've taken it? Fucking hell!
This is why we are screwed, people.

PhilippePetain June 8, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Yeah, when I was taking this, I was like "you know, i'm relatively certain that this is going to make me sad when I see the data."

And then i saw the differences between education levels and it made me angry instead. That one of the parties actually wants to cut education to put more money in their own pockets and solidify their political position is worse than shortsighted, it's evil.

Ryy June 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I wrote the LA Times saying that as a young person I found it rather insulting that they would continue to pay and print an author who called me stupid. They never got back to me. Hope their paywall is doing well!

(No I don't)

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I got 13 out of 13 right. I'm not *that* young, but even when I was an 18 yo I definitely was not “so frickin’ stupid”.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 7, 2012 at 6:37 pm

If you look at the demographic breakdown and average number of correct answers, the following leaps out:

Female: 7.5
18-29: 7.4

So ol' lard-tub up there could equally argue for women's suffrage being a bit much.

scvirginia June 7, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Yeah, but on the Internetz you can say yer a gal even if you ain't.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 6:41 pm

It was not a hard quiz, 92% of the public!

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Also, too, the 18-29 demographic outperformed olds on several of the questions. Therefore, stfu Goldberg.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm

I hadn't noticed that. But while reading the post, I kept thinking "You know, it's not just 18-years-old who can be ignorant about politics."

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Yes we've come to the point in our society where civics knowledge is so distressed that they feel compelled to find out which party that cryin' tobacco bribe check passing out Tangerine Nightmare belongs to…oy vey. Well, I guess the bright side is they didn't ask them to find the US on a map….

Seriously though, it boggles the mind how much ignorance exists in this country…thanks, Goopers! Thank you even more for voluntarilly detaching yourselves from reality…I love how American society is never able to progress because the charlatans always have one more argument strewn with bullshit that 40% of this country thinks is factual…which inevitably enough greedy Democratic Reps will also swallow down (the debt "crisis" being more prescient than the US economy missing trillions in over-inflated value..) to turn the argument into some sort of bullshit Mt. Rushmore

THIS is why I've lost interest in American politics…it's all been distilled down from semi-intelligent discussions on policy with common sets of facts into a screaming match of competing "citations" by Sean (the priests best altarboy) Hannity and Bob Beckel

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I suspect that slap fights may be next.

Tommmcattt June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

I'll start listening to Jonah when he's proven he's not afraid to have his ass handed to him by a woman…

Not to be sexist at all by the way. Most women could kick my ass in about two seconds, particularly ones that study Martial Arts. I just want to see goo-boy put his money where his doughnut-hole is…

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Shhhiiittt…I guess that shows me, I had no idea Jamie Killstein is a woman, that makes me even more of a supporter to see Doughy Pantload get wailed on. Seriously, the amount of bitter stupidity this guy emits could be bottled and sold by Glenn Beck to massive profits from fellow wingnuts…they could call it: "Essence of Gold" (because there's no way a name that Jewwy would sell to Goopers). Maybe this could be the beginning of a "bitchslap a wingnut" movement which demonstrates once and for all to the macho-obsessed closet cases what pussies these people really are. I'd volunteer to beat up Bryan Fischer for charity but since I'm not a name I'd like to see if we can get a showbiz liberal to whip his fascist ass…preferably someone black and/or gay since he attacks those groups the most and is obsessed with projecting a macho image.

bumfug June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Curse you, young people! You, with your ability to spot bullshit!

Exhausted66 June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Based on the picture it looks like he's upset for not being on the cover a certain edition of TIME magazine, too.

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:20 am

On the one hand he's been attached to Lucianne's tit a lot longer than Aram Grumet has been attached to Jamie Lynne Grumet's. On the other hand would you really want to see a picture of JoGo sucking on his mother's dried up and withered dugs?

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Ooh, ooh. 59% of those 50+ thought Lincoln was a Dem. Haha. Oldz are so frickin' stupid, they shouldn't be allowed to vote!
http://pewresearch.org/politicalquiz/quiz/index.p

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 7, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Republicans keep making it harder to get that one right.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Nahhh…that's an easy mistake because on first blush Lincoln was INCREDIBLY liberal, especially for his day. Just like given the shifts in politics it would be easy to consider Woodrow Wilson a Republican given how conservative he was. One thing is for sure, no one but no one would ever mistake William Howard Taft as a liberal. That over-priviliged fat sack of shit practically screamed wingnut before even opening his roast beef-filled pie hole. Not to mention the "stuck in bathtub" incident shared by SO MANY teabaggers…especially Rush Limbaugh.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Wait, if conservatives want to educate young people then why do they keep trying to destroy our schools?

iburl June 7, 2012 at 6:50 pm

The bible.

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2012 at 6:51 pm

They only want to privatize education, just like they have done in every country that scores better than us. Wait…whut???

Opportunisticly_Joe June 7, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Education majors are the real fascists.

ETA: Not. Actually. Kidding.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Edumacation in Teabagggistan is done at Sunday School, and maybe at Liberty University if the kiddies take well to their programming.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 6:57 pm

The need to make sure those kids learn fantasy, not facts!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Soros, Soros…man, they don't want to destroy public schools they want to privatize them so toy manufacturers and the like can have free product testers and guinea pigs. I mean, we all know how well for-profit has worked in Universities, just wait until they can "tear down this wall" between children and toymakers…why it would Ayn Rand herself (ugh) moist…

I think Andrew Schlafly probably has the model most Gomers prefer or they could also opt for the mother of Prussian Blue's edumacation model (text books from before the 1950's)…that thought again makes Ayn Rand (ugh) moist…

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:21 pm

It's not supposed to make sense, Soros.

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 6:26 pm

"The simple fact is that surveys show that young people generally are less knowledgeable about current events"

You can't be outraged about this unless you're also outraged that Fox viewers tend to be stupider than people who don't read the news at all. Are you outraged?

[crickets]

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2012 at 6:52 pm

What was the average age of the Fox News audience again? Over 50?

glamourdammerung June 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Over 60.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Yes, never, ever, ever refer to studies that show avid Fox viewers are less informed than people who don't consume any news…doughy pantload would get all screamy, talk about how the people who made the studies are communists and run off the stage crying like a bitch with a skinned knee. I'd call him fat boy as he left and prayed he'd launch a chair in my direction like that one video when the opponent of some teabagger called him a big, fat fuck repeatedly. Childish? Hell Yes! But worth it? Beyond a doubt!

Joshua Norton June 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Knowing what verbs and nouns are is soooooo elitist.

SorosBot June 7, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Jonah's so vain, he prob'ly thinks this post is about him.

themcwow June 7, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Love that photo, so Charles Nelson Reilly.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Jonah always looks like he doesn't piss, doesn't shit and gets no relief.

edgydrifter June 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm

K-Lo shakes her jowls in disbelief.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:14 pm

All of them, Katie?

bagofmice June 7, 2012 at 7:51 pm

"The editor shakes her grammar" is the preferred nomenclature, Dude.

smokefilledroommate June 7, 2012 at 9:30 pm

GO!

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Rip Taylor, eat your heart out.

Rotundo_ June 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Jonah is just coming to that age in life where most folks have kids and realize that they may not march in perfect time to the political views and moral views of their parents. He has become the grumpy old man who yells at the kids to get off his grass. Congratulations Jonah on reaching middle age, it gets even more fun! As the National Lampoon defined aging "Everything gets heavier, hairier, and closer to the ground." so shall your testicles start banging against your knees and you will become even more rotund, red, and revolting than you already are, you product of incompetence and nepotism. Grumpy powers ON!!!!!111!!!!!!ONE!!!!!1111!!!!!

Tommmcattt June 7, 2012 at 6:36 pm

If you tie your testicles in a knot it helps with the wear and tear. Thought I'd pass that one on…

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Doooooo…your balls hang low
Do they wobble to and fro?

MosesInvests June 7, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Left, left, left-right, left,
My pack's too heavy, my belt's too tight,
My balls are swinging from left to right,
Left, left, left-right, left….

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Can you tie them in a knot?
Can you tie them in a bow?

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Beat me to it, dang ya!

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 8:24 pm

AND the next verse, sing it!

Can you wear them on your shoulders
Like a continental soldier
Do your balls
Hang
LOOOOOOOW!

MissTaken June 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Oh Jonah, Jim Crow would be proud of your Intelligence Test for voting.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Shh….not that name, Tom Tancracist I mean Tancredo! They aren't wanting to go back to Jim Crow you Communist tart…..they just want to use the exact same tests Jim Crow backers used to disqaulify voters…I also laugh at the idea of bringing back classist systems like "land owners" only voting…kind of goes hand-in-hand with efforts to eliminate the 14th and 15th amendments. But don't EVER insinuiate these people are racists, that goes beyond the pail! (until they are racist/fascist douchebages…check out SPLC's report "30 leaders of the new far right")

Fox n Fiends June 7, 2012 at 6:31 pm

"Old people are awesome!"
Sincerely,
The National Debt

ttommyunger June 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

You have to know this turd was catapulted into "Columnist and Commentator" status by the big money Right as a reward for his pee-crusted cunt of a mother guiding Monica and Tripp through the impeach Bubba maze.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm

and the fact that she used to go out behind the country club with a matress and set up a ticketmaker with a sign next to it saying "no blacks"….Lucianne put in some serious family values work to get doughy pantload his shot at developing into a very below average "columnist and commentator"

ttommyunger June 8, 2012 at 7:24 am

A-Fucking-Men!

SayItWithWookies June 7, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Fortunately conservative education is so powerful that your average child can get all he needs just by mopping the floor at the local school.

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 6:35 pm

The simple fact is that surveys show that young people generally are less knowledgeable about current events, news and the government generally than older people. Is anyone honestly shocked by this?

No. As such, I fail to see why he is trying to spend so much time talking about it. You'd think maybe they'd save air time for people with interesting, original information to provide us.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:20 pm

right…he's also not mentioning that civics have not been taught in HS curriculums for years while one can major in political science in college. I mean heh, heh one could NEVER expect doughy to have any factual reasoning behind his assertions aside from "theyze likes thems sum sociamalizumz!" for the seeming lack of caring by young people. Also, Goopers always hate the young because young people won't fall for their bullshit…they haven't spent enough time being owned by a corporation to have their souls and hopes completely crushed. Newt and Mittbot are working REALLY hard to rectify that problem to be sure.

didgen June 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm

From the picture he looks like he's saying, "I'm so hungry I could eat one this big!"

Tommmcattt June 7, 2012 at 6:44 pm

From the looks of him, that goes without saying.

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

"I was unable to get my mouth around David Koch's cock so I had to stroke the sides."

rmjagg June 8, 2012 at 7:49 pm

or , alternatively , " I'm so horny I could eat one this big ! "

poorgradstudent June 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

"We shouldn’t pander to young people just because they’re young, we should educate them. That’s the core insight and job of conservatism. "

Hence the slashing of school, archival, library, and scientific research budgets, laws explicitly against teaching about sexuality or minority history, rhetoric against secondary public and university education, support for places like Liberty University that not only explicitly admit but gleefully indulge in the fact that they take an ideological ax to facts, craving to replace every college's humanities and classics program with things like business administration, accusing 99% of the scientific community of organizing lies, prioritizing religious and business interests over facts about science and the history of marriage and homosexuality, pursuing policies to turn biology classes into Sunday school, mocking any opposing politician with intellectual credentials, etc. etc. etc literally ad nauseam….

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 7, 2012 at 6:47 pm

You have to admit that he's got the art of the Big Lie down pat.

Not_So_Much June 7, 2012 at 6:43 pm

This piece of shit should get him another Pulitzer nomination, yes?

Dashboard Buddha June 7, 2012 at 6:44 pm

"seeks comment from me whenever he wants me to bad-mouth other conservatives failed to actually seek me out for comment in a story about … me."

It would have been a riot if Strupp had gotten JoGo to bad-mouth himself.

SexySmurf June 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm

It is something we do to the jumble of glandular impulses we call young people.

Jonah the Whale is something of an expert on glandular problems. He suffers from a rare metabolic condition that causes him to uncontrollable stuff pepperoni Hot Pockets in his mouth.

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Has Jonah eaten that bag of dicks we told him to eat the last time there was a post about him yet?

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm

It sort of LOOKS like it, but as SexySmurf says, it could have been Hot Pockets.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Last I heard he accidentally downed a bag of Kitty Litter the other day.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 8:47 pm

It wasn't an accident. It was the only thing left in the house, it was late at night, and he's been banned from all the 7-11s in a 50-mile radius.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Oh,noes! He'll have to eat the refrigerator!

Fare la Volpe June 8, 2012 at 10:35 am

He drank up all the water
He ate a bar of soap
He tried to eat the bathtub
But it wouldn't fit down his throat

Goonemeritus June 7, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I have often thought that a case can be made for sun setting voting privileges. Jefferson thought that old people dictating to the young about how they should run their country was immoral. Who has a larger stake in these decisions an 18 old that will live through all the consequences or a 91 year old. I know we can’t and shouldn’t do this but as an old I see the logic in the argument.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Yes, but let's be wary of any attempts to divide us farther and pit us against each other while, behind our backs, the Kochs walk off with everything.

Goonemeritus June 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Interestingly my Anarcho-syndicalist son believes that the major fault with our country is that we are too big. He feels all government should be local and as responsive as possible. He is a wild optimist about the inherent goodness of people, God I love him. I tell him to settle in rural Vermont it’s about as close as he can get in this country to the Jeffersonian ideal. I like you I am weary of the division and long for a period of common sacrifice.

MittBorg June 7, 2012 at 8:29 pm

It's great that you have a wonderful, supportive relationship with your son. It's even more wonderful that he is so full of optimism and hope. I wish we could have left young people a better world for them to learn and grow up in. I hope he's willing and able to make his dreams come true. And yes, even opinionated curmudgeons like myself would like to find some way to bring all people of goodwill together to make common cause.

Jus_Wonderin June 7, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Kris, do you know Olivia Benson? Have her number?

littlebigdaddy June 7, 2012 at 6:48 pm

His piehole needs pluggin.

Opportunisticly_Joe June 7, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I did take that Pew quiz, and discovered that despite the obvious deficit of my years, I am less stupid than Jonah Goldberg. Also, better looking. Also, less stupid.

(P.S. I actually didn't take that Pew quiz)

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 7, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I checked one question, got insulted by the utter lack of expectations and did not take it, either. I won't say automatically that I'm smarter than Lardass McBacongrease (I am) but I know the reasons behind his assertion which he of course being a Republican does not know (he's stupid enough to blame schools). When they scrapped civics in the 80's…they pretty much guaranteed children would be ignorant of politics until they got older. Plus, television, "youth magazines" and now the internet and social networks are designed to make kids know about and care more about the Kardashians than politics. This fat fuck may think children are stupid because of this but I'll be willing to bet my 15 year old neice could light his ass up talking about reality television. In short, fuckfaces like him have pretty much made this a self-fulfilling prophecy so they could turn around and indict children and public schools to justify fuedalism. You fat, fat fuck Goldberg.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Stupid people should not vote?

Be careful what you wish for, Jonah. Just sayin'.

HarryButtle June 7, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Yea, why can't we apply that across the board and purge the voting lists of all the stupid fucking olds?

I like my chances with an elitist egghead IQ test, I wonder how many redneck red staters feel the same way.

__kth__ June 7, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Right, because if it weren't for those pesky kids, everyone would agree on the stupidity of Medicare and the awesomeness of all the wars we start.

dcjdjay June 7, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Its a pity that Lucianne never bothered to educate him over those long 30+ years while he nursed on her teats.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I'm glad I already had my dinner.
*Blaaarggh!*
And now my toilet has had my dinner.

Joshua Norton June 7, 2012 at 6:54 pm

That’s the core insight and job of conservatism.

Especially for the inbred, home schooled bunch. You know the ones who are taught that only certain parts of the bible count, even though it's all supposed to be "the word of God". And Jesus rode a dinosaur into Jerusalem.

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Isn't that the guy who created Wolverine?

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I can't wait for Jonah's follow up article on how FOX News viewers should be kept from voting because they are often shown to be un- or ill- informed on current events, politics and most everything else.

glamourdammerung June 7, 2012 at 7:04 pm

"Jonah Goldberg from the National Review, a publication that has had several incidents with employees publicly endorsing white supremacy, still unable to back up his impotent threats of violence. Yet Goldberg is also too stupid to know when to stop his lie-hole" would have been a better title.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 7, 2012 at 7:06 pm

I do think the worse things that 18 year olds did was when they demanded the Army march into Iraq based on the flawed intelligence supplied by, and interpreted by, 18 year olds.

chascates June 7, 2012 at 7:10 pm

He looks about thirty which is so old and wise! His mom looks about 130 so I guess it averages out.

smitallica June 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Yes, kids are too stupid to vote. We need to leave the voting to smarter old people, who think Obama is a Kenyan and the Bible is true.

redarmyzombie June 8, 2012 at 5:18 am

It just occurred to me:
Do any of those teabaggers even know what Kenya is?

DahBoner June 8, 2012 at 9:53 am

You can see Kenya from Alaska..

OneYieldRegular June 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

I must say, Republicans are doing a spectacular job of reaching out for the youth vote.

Jukesgrrl June 7, 2012 at 9:21 pm

They practiced on women.

redarmyzombie June 8, 2012 at 5:20 am

I also must commend them on their outreach for the Latino vote.

TribecaMike June 7, 2012 at 7:16 pm

A few months into Bush II's first term, a Tulsa born-and-bred Republican friend of mine was harping on about how Georgie Porgy wasn't a "real" right winger. Her primary source for that concept: Jonah Goldberg. Needless to say, whenever we get together we don't talk politics. Come to think of it, I haven't talked to her in four years, and last I heard she was shacking up with an Occupier with Ron Pauline inclinations.

Life's much too short for that complicated and convoluted mess.

anniegetyerfun June 7, 2012 at 7:57 pm

Well, I mean, to be fair, he wasn't as right-wing as half of the people he had working for him. As miserable of a schmuck as he is/was, his right-wing credentials pale in comparison to the Tea Tards out there now.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Well, he wasn't a real conservative, but he was most definitely a real right-winger. There is a difference, one that I hope more people learn about. We've got a right-wing party in this country, and we have a catch-all party, and neither of them is a conservative party, though both have minor conservative wings.

I'd love to have a an actual conservative party without all of the adjoining right-wing bullshit as an opposition party.

OneYieldRegular June 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

"Civilization is a verb" – and this in an article about how we need to educate young people.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 7:43 pm

I think he needs a Twinkie.

Wile E. Quixote June 7, 2012 at 7:44 pm

I'm sure that Rich Lowry will be plugging his pie-hole as soon as JoGo gets back to the NRO offices.

HempDogbane June 7, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Surveys show Doughy Pantload is a doughy pantload.

Dr_pangloss June 7, 2012 at 7:54 pm

The Caption "I Fit a Elephant Cock this Big in my mouth."

rickmaci June 7, 2012 at 8:19 pm

I don't believe that asshat ever read any Hannah Arendt. I have and I don't recall anything in her writings that sophomoric. I honestly don't believe she ever said what he purports to quote.

Butch_Wagstaff June 7, 2012 at 8:51 pm

He read it on his "Made-Up Quote-of-the-Day" Calendar.

rickmaci June 7, 2012 at 9:02 pm

You are probably right. I just did about 15 minutes of checking on line. Literally hundreds of references to LuciesWhaleBoy saying she said it and hundreds more quoting him as saying she said it. But not a single reference to Hannah Arendt actually saying such a thing.

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:09 am

Is that the one that includes that Made-Up Orwell quote that conservatives love to fap over, the one about "rough men standing ready in the night"?

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:03 am

He apparently made a bunch of shit up in Liberal Fascism too. Quelle surprise!.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 8, 2012 at 7:55 am

"Robert Paxton is emeritus professor of history at Columbia University"

Taken down by a pro. Damn. I'd say that'd hurt, but lard-boy up there doesn't give a shit because he's banked the proceeds from the idiots who bought it.

To his credit, Goldberg is aware that the term “liberal” has been corrupted in contemporary American usage. It ought to mean (and still means in the rest of the world) a principled opposition to state interference in the economy, from Adam Smith to Ronald Reagan. Goldberg sometimes refers to “classical liberalism” in this sense, and with approval. Unfortunately he has capitulated to the sloppy current American usage by which “liberal” means, usually pejoratively nowadays, any and all of the various components of the Left, from anarchists and Marxists to moderate Democrats.

Indeed. Economist-liberals or even Jeffersonian-liberals are .. oh fuck it. This is Goldberg takedown, let's have some fun.

Authentic fascists have never wanted to make the whole world better. As uncompromising nationalists, they want to make their own group stronger, purer, and more unified, and establish its domination over inferior groups, by force if necessary.

Sounds like the Democrats to me.

There are the ritual references to Auschwitz, but he denies that racial extermination is integral to Nazism by noting how many Progressive reformers fell for Eugenics in the early twentieth century.

Head/desk interface error.

His method is to examine fascist rhetoric, but to ignore how fascist movements functioned in practice.

How many times have you, reader, heard or read that? "National Socialist Party!!!!!!" – and the speaker or writer assumes that the argument is done.

Oh I'm bored of commenting on the deconstruction of Goldberg now. The link is great.

rickmaci June 8, 2012 at 12:47 pm

At the core of it, the whole conservatard, neocon, Republie-con bowel movement has been about economics. The economics of giving people who don't have a real desire to work, or skills other than writing propaganda and full throat-ed vocalizing of angry lies, a means for making a very lucrative living selling books full of fabricated facts and charging for speeches spewing hate.

glamourdammerung June 7, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Someone that lied about being nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, let alone did it twice, let alone did it after getting caught and having to remove only to pull that stunt again the next time an alleged book was released has no real justification for claiming any sort of credibility or integrity.

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:05 am

He also made up a bunch of shit in Liberal Fascism as well.

Jukesgrrl June 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm

The most commonly missed question on the test: Which party is generally more supportive of reducing the size and scope of the federal government?

Perhaps people are choosing their answer thinking about what the Republicans DO rather than what they say. That would be good news.

zedbot June 7, 2012 at 9:44 pm

He's creepy.

tessiee June 7, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Fat turd.

Slim_Pickins June 7, 2012 at 10:09 pm

When did Newt cede the title "nexus of civilization" to Jonah?

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:01 am

He didn't cede it, it was captured by Goldberg's gravitational field.

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Jonah, you probably think this song is about you, don't you?

BTW, 18-year-olds crash cars; 48-year-olds crash entire economies. Also, naive, youthful voters are different than senior citizens cutting up their Medicare cards in protest of health care reform how, again?

Negropolis June 7, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Silly, Jonah. Conservatives don't believe in civilization and society. That's socialist. Remember, there is no society. I know this because Maggie Thatcher told me so.

mavenmaven June 7, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Yeah, Hannah Arendt would have totally been a Romney Conservative. As would have Bataille, and Foucault, all obviously big Ayn Rand fans. Or maybe they are now that Romney has posthumously mormonized them.

Wile E. Quixote June 8, 2012 at 2:00 am

I wonder if Rand has been necrobaptized yet.

spinozasgod June 7, 2012 at 10:16 pm

GET OFF MY LAWN!

barto June 7, 2012 at 10:19 pm

In Jonah's defense regarding things always being about him, "he" covers a rather broad area, if you follow my drift.

But then, if he's so concerned about educating the younguns, why is he teamed up with the people out to destroy education, both institutionally and academically?

Knuckledraggers confuse me!

Chow Yun Flat June 8, 2012 at 12:50 am

And who better to educate these young people than someone who thinks that “civilization is a verb?

How are right-wing pundits supposed to educate people if you keep pointing out what they said and not what they thought they said.

George Skullfry June 8, 2012 at 1:13 am
C_R_Eature June 8, 2012 at 5:03 am

Blustering Blow Toad.

niblick77 June 8, 2012 at 8:34 am

I appears in the photo that he is wearing TWO wedding rings. I guess one is for his wife and the other for his gay lover.

DahBoner June 8, 2012 at 10:11 am

There's NO WAY young people could be CONNED into voting against their own economic interests, right?

Right?

//crickets

Jerri June 8, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Photo caption: one invisible ass.

MittBorg June 8, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I can't think of Jonah without hearing this. Suits him to a tee, don't it?

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