Whose turn is it to play Adolf Hitler today in the forever binary saga of the Republicans versus secret zombie Adolf Hitler come back from the dead disguised as (insert ridiculous noun here) to devour hysterical conservatives? This kitten? Mitt Romney’s spell-checker? Or maybe some elementary school teachers? For the answer, let’s either re-read the post title or, alternately, consult the interchangeable screaming Republican congressman shuffling around on the House floor at any given hour, “Rep. Dana Rohrabacher” this time, sure: It is the Chinese government. The government is murdering people. Just like Hitler did!

From The Hill:

Rohrabacher made these remarks during debate [Tuesday night] on his amendment to the Energy and Water spending bill for 2013. He offered an amendment that would prevent $7.5 million from being spent by the Department of Energy on a Clean Energy Resource Center in China.

“I’m not opposed to all cooperation,” Rohrabacher said after another member defended the project. “I’m opposed to cooperation with the Adolf Hitlers of our day, the people who are murdering Christians and other religious people as we speak. No, we should not be cooperating with that government in developing their technologies.”

Did Dana Rohrabacher intentionally formulate that sentence to invite a mental swap out of the word “Christians” for “Muslims,” to highlight the irony? Let’s just say he did. Anyhow, the Chinese government is now Hitler. Someone go tell all those D-day veterans commemorating the invasion’s 68th anniversary today to go update their scrapbooks accordingly. [The Hill]

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  • chascates


  • Limeylizzie

    So, this is the moron that can't get into Afghanistan, right, so now he can't go to China, I am praying he says something bad about NYC .

    • Barb

      I hope Tommy comes in and calls him a "pussyfart"

      • Beowoof

        Now that term brought a flashback to the a National Lampoon Article from 1977. They were quoting Andrew Young describing an African dictator as a pussyfart. Happy thoughts.

        • Negropolis

          Andrew Young? The Civil Right Movement's Andrew Young? Really? Wow. Probably not the first person to come to mind if I had to place the origins of the term. lol

        • tessiee

          Also, in the Doug Kenney article, "How to Score with Chicks", there was a section titled "Pussyfarts", which read in its entirety, "There are some doors man was never meant to open".

          • Beowoof

            Ah yes at Niagara University I was a radical troublemaker for subscribing to and reading in the Union, National Lampoon. I sometimes think the Long Island folks who attended NU en mass thought I was laughing at them. And sometimes I was. The locals, the Vietnam vets and me had a lot of fun at their expense.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Rohrabacher (German name, I believe) is a firm believer in Godwin's Law. That's his counter for Sharia Law. May the best law win!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    The Rohrabacher test is like the the Rorschach inkblot test, except you read random Rohrabacher statements and shout 'Adolph Hitler, fucking a butterfly with a beer bottle!' after each one.

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      Don't you know you need a microscopic dick to fuck/rape a butterfly?
      Needledick the Bugfucker is incensed!

      • So Tired

        Ha ha ha, the tobacco shop, Bette Midler…

  • It is the Chinese government. The government is murdering people. Just like Hitler did!

    Just like the "christian", rightwing facists would do in this country, given half the chance.

    • Haven't you heard of "stand your ground"?

      • Only works for the not-brown.

    • Negropolis

      That's always been my funny spot when I see church ladies and such feign horror and shock at propoganda taught about extremism in other religions. If given the chance, if our system allowed it, fundamentalist Christians would be chopping off hands as "justice" in a minute. What scares them about other religion's extremism isn't the differences, it's that they are so much alike and present competition.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Now, now … all they want to do is put certain people behind fences forever. Sounds like fun — you could even call it "camp".

    • eggsacklywright

      Yeah, what's with all this Hitler bashing? Kitty Wehrmacht drones are next.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    If Adolf Hitler was around to hear all this smack talk he'd be pretty pissed right now.

    No telling what he might do.

    • doloras

      Everybody Hitler-hatin'.

    • Negropolis

      I think it's safe to say that Hitler was always "pretty pissed."

    • comptoneffect

      "No telling what he might do."
      Maybe, but I bet it would involve invading Poland sooner than later.

  • Callyson

    “I’m opposed to cooperation with the Adolf Hitlers of our day, the people who are murdering Christians and other religious people as we speak."

    So, he's opposed to cooperation with the US government?

    Oh, wait, how could I forget, those Muslins ain't part of a *real* religion, killing them does not count…


    • Not only that, but when we "murder" people (as if) they magically transform, post-mortem, into terrorists! BLINGG!!

      • schvitzatura

        …and which then can be converted into Mormons posthumously, perhaps even with their own planets (though "across the tracks", on the bad side of the Great Spiral Galaxy).

        • Yes, when President Mitt adds that Mormon conversion capability to our hellfire missiles.

    • tessiee

      "Christians and other religious people"

      and by "other religious people", we mean, "Christians (Protestants, of course), just not the church we go to".

  • SheriffRoscoe

    The Chinese invented eyeglasses. You four-eyed nerds just love Hitler, don't you.

    • And gunpowder, paper, silk, printing, PASTA!!

      • Yeah! What have the Chinese ever done for us?!

        • Railroads.

        • flamingpdog

          Took the Grand Canyon off our hands.

        • tessiee

          A system of roads, and the Acqueduct.

          Wait, that can't be right.

      • Mittens Howell, III

        Chopsticks. They did that.

      • LionHeartSoyDog

        And porcelain.

        • Fine china. I read a book on Chinese blue-and-white porcelain some years ago. It said the best type of clay for making porcelain is kaolin, from China. Some of those pieces were so thin and fine, you could see light shine through them.

      • flamingpdog

        Chinese checkers?

        • flamingpdog

          No, wait, I guess all the Chinese checkers are running the cash registers at the Beijing Wal-Mart now.

        • Try mahjongg for seriously addictive timewasters.

          In the old days in China (before the revolution came), junior wives and concubines would play so intently that they wouldn't even leave the table to pee, just warn everyone to lift up their feet because a yellow river was about to flow.

    • Negropolis

      And Chinese water torture and Chinese finger bang…er…trap.

  • Rohrabacher is a fucking nutbag, another Southern California "the heat and dryness have shrunk my brain to the size and consistency of dried chewing gum found on your movie seat" loon like Darrell Issa and Duke Cunningham. He SO fucking needs to go. In any way possible. He's a blight upon humanity's escutcheon.

    • Mittens Howell, III

      I hear he's also a wonderful Sunday School teacher, so there's that.

      • Someone ought to examine what he's teaching tout-suite.
        Unless this is a reference to some recent scandal involving Rohrabacher and some religious institution, which wouldn't surprise me in the least.

  • ChernobylSoup

    Be a Whorebacker not a Rohrabacher.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I'm not sure what that means, but upfist for rhyming.

  • Callyson

    He offered an amendment that would prevent $7.5 million from being spent by the Department of Energy on a Clean Energy Resource Center in China.

    Yeah, because it's not in the interests of the state that he represents for China to develop clean energy, thereby reducing it's pollution, which may be impacting California as this fucker speaks:



    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Are you claiming that this honorable member of the House would act against the interests of the people who elected him simply to perform a soucon of screechy grandstanding which will have no effect at all? Why, that would make him some variety of howling jackass, surely?

      • Ya don't say! Wait a minnit. What's that I hear? A howl? I do believe it's Dana ROHRabacher, Fukui-san, and he's HOWLING for you.

  • JustPixelz

    Against the real Adolf Hitler, the United States of America mobilized the entire nation in a the shared sacrifice of warfare. Today, all Rohrabacher dares ask is that we not "cooperate" with China. I guess that means "stop shopping at Wal-mart".

    Oh, by the way, the Adolf Hitlers of our day are mostly in Africa killing Muslims and other tribes. Wanna spend some blood, sweat and tears over there Congressman?

    • LionHeartSoyDog

      The usa didn't mobilize against Hitler until after the USSR had broken the back of the Nazi military on the Eastern front, at huge sacrifice.
      They waited to see which way the wind was blowing.
      And i suspect, the D-day invasion of Normandy was, in part, to control the French Resistance, the same as the British invaded Greece to control the victorious anti-fascist resistance.
      The foot soldiers, as usual, knew nothing of this.

      • Very few people know that Britain and the US sent troops to ensure that the former colonies of the colonial powers would be handed directly back to them instead of the rabble-rousing "freedom fighters" who had defended themselves against the Japanese. The US and Britain requested the Japanese to keep their arms and hand them over to the Allied military forces.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Oh Mao's sake. Who isn't Hitler nowadays?

    Also, I wants a me a Hitler Cat.

    • LetUsBray

      We have arrived at the day when everyone is Hitler for 15 minutes.

      • tessiee

        Except Andy Warhol.

    • The nice thing about having a Kitler is, you can say horrible things to it and never suffer a penalty. Provided, of course, that the cat doesn't understand you. Sometimes I wonder about mine.

      • flamingpdog

        Every cat I ever owned understood every word I said. They just didn't care.

        • Mine too. Or at least they understand the crucial terms, like "car," "vet," "carrier," "vaccination," "wet food."

          On the other hand, not a single one of them has ever shown any response to entreaties ranging from "Nice kitty, here, kitty," to "For christ's sake get off my fucking left nut" So, yeah. Sounds like they just don't give a fuck.

          • bagofmice

            If you speak with the sound of a can opening, they care.

          • Oh, they can hear *that* from all the way over on the neighbour's property. You never saw such a bunch of fatasses move.

  • now that is one fine hitler cat.

  • can't we find another greatest monster from history? i mean seriously, nazis have so jumped the shark.

    • Tommmcattt

      “I’m not opposed to all cooperation,” Rohrabacher said after another member defended the project. “I’m opposed to cooperation with the Countess Elizabeth Bathorys of our day, the people who are murdering Christians and other religious people as we speak. No, we should not be cooperating with that government in developing their technologies.”

      Doesn't have quite the same ring.

      • HA! one of my favorite history's greatest monsters!

    • Fairtackle
    • Saloth Sar?

    • flamingpdog

      I volunteer Dick Cheney for the position, but the Confederepubliklans would have the vapors.

    • bagofmice

      We have a space nazi movie coming.

    • tessiee

      I say the expression "jumped the shark" has itself jumped the shark, and should without further ado be thrown under the bus.

      • chicken_thief

        We'll circle back to you on that.

      • not that Radio

        Likewise, "slippery slope" arguments are themselves a slippery slope. Where does it end?

      • HistoriBarb

        That's thinking outside the box!

  • Hitler Cat = Mouse Say Dung.

    • Vladimir Felin

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        Josef Mowlin'

        • not that Radio

          Pol Cat

          • Chichikovovich

            Phillipe Pettin'

          • not that Radio

            Maximilien Robespurr

          • Chichikovovich

            Benito Mewsollini

          • bagofmice


          • not that Radio

            Slobodan Meowlosevic

          • Chichikovovich

            Nicolae Claws┼čescu

          • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

            Iron Felis Dzerzhinsky

          • not that Radio

            Tomas de Torquemeowda

          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            Pawpaw Doc Duvalier

            Karl Manx & Fleadrich Engels

            Chairman Meow

            Son of Siamese

          • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

            Empurror Catigula

            Vlad the Impawler

          • Negropolis

            Kitty Amin

            Generalissimeow Francisco Franco

            Feline Castro

            Alberto Fujimeowra

            Purrdinand Marcos

          • TootsStansbury

            Purrdinand Marcos just made me spit out coffee. I upfisted this whole thread.

          • billy_reuben

            Meowbutu Sese Seko

            Sultan Meowmet II

            Ghenghis Kat

            Ivan the Purrable

          • not that Radio

            You guys really cleaned up here. What does that leave?

            Kim Il Tongue?

            Augusto Purrochet?

            Hosni Mewbarak?

            Muammar Catdaffi?

            Robert Mewgabe?

          • Doktor StrangeZoom

            Gentlemen! I present to you: Orville the CatCopter!

            (Needs moar "Ride of the Valkyries")

          • not that Radio

            Whiskey Tango Foxtrot — Shall we dance?

            P.S. I don't know which one more clearly indicates the certain demise of modern humanity: Orville or the TacoCopter.

          • Negropolis


    • genghis katt

    • Beowoof

      I think Dana is Congressman Full of Dung.

    • A round of upfists for everyone who replied–read them one after the other and you will be laughing (not LOLing but really laughing) before you are finished.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I don't know, murdering your own people (as opposed to "others," like Jews and Gypsies), seems less Hitlery more Stalinesque or Pol Potty to me.

    • Interestingly enough, the only thing about communism that Saloth Sar (later known as Pol Pot) is known to have read was a defense of Josef Stalin's collectivization programme that resulted in the deaths of so many. A grotesque foreshadowing.

    • real_dc_native

      It's ironic we don't think of Stalin in the same light as Hitler. He probably killed more people. I think it's because Stalin and his henchmen knew better than to document everything.

      • tessiee

        They also didn't have that creepy faux-scientific thing goin' on like the nazis.

    • Chichikovovich

      But the problem with invoking Pol Pot in this connection is that the U.S. actually did support the Khmer Rouge, at least for awhile. Apparently because they hated the Vietnamese government who, in the 1970s, were the Greatest Monsters of all Time of the decade. Perhaps someone here knows more of the subtleties can fill me in on any additional reasons.

      • US governmental support for the Khmers Rouges occurred after the fall of Pol Pot's government. In response to the Vietnamese appointment of Heng Samrin, who was one of the ICP (Indochinese Communist Party) members who left Kampuchea for VN after the negotiations with the US. All of this goes all the way back to a Vietnamese emperor named Minh Mang, who felt it was his duty to "civilize" the Khmers, who once ruled much of Southeast Asia. That set the tone for future Kampuchean/Vietnamese interaction. Following the fall of the Pol Pot regime, his forces joined up with all the other Khmer groups against the Vietnamese. Because Prince Norodom Sihanouk was chosen as the head of this loose coalition, the US government, which had been trying to assassinate Sihanouk since 1953, decided to lend its support, partially with the hope of winning some sort of PR victory against the VietNamese, I suppose. The VietNamese outsmarted them again, by creating the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. It really shouldn't be *called* a genocide museum. I don't think human languages yet have a word for "turning against your own people and killing them en masse."

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    The main thing that China and Hitler have in common is that both were supported by the conservatives of their day.

    • Beowoof

      If by support you mean sending in Marines to protect America Business interests, yes they did, at quite the cost to the people of China and the Marines.

      • Dr. Nick Riviera

        I actually had the American Liberty League and Conservative love of deregulation in mind.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Coincidentally, that cat happens to be the Chief Financial Officer of Bain Capital.

    • tessiee

      Which is good news for the stockholders, because they can pay him entirely in bizzy balls and catnip-filled mice.

  • You know who else murdered people?

    • Monsanto?

    • LetUsBray


    • littlebigdaddy

      John Wayne, um, Gacy?

      • Oh, you have that same little problem Michelle Bachman does.

    • SexySmurf

      Dana Rohrabacher when he fought alongside the Taliban?

    • Negropolis


    • flamingpdog

      Me, every time I fap.

    • bagofmice

      Timothy Mcmeow?

    • billy_reuben

      Glenn Beck?

    • BaldarTFlagass


    • chicken_thief

      One Willard M. Romney?

    • chicken_thief

      … and, of course, THE CLINTONS?!!!!

  • coolhandnuke

    "Chairman Meow was a pussy,"–Dana Rohrabacher.

  • Now I've forgotten what the real Hitler was like. A black, Chinese, sorta liberal-y guy, right? Possibly involved with TSA bureaucracy?

    • Chichikovovich

      Total socialist. Took power thanks to trade union thugs and anti-Christians. Committed to universal health insurance mandates.

    • Kenyan.

  • Beowoof

    Oh oh, no computer for Dana, Fearless Leader has already put in a call to FoxConn.

  • bumfug

    Not everything Hitler is bad.

    • Beowoof

      And I thought it would be a Volkswagen Beetle ad.

  • Crank_Tango

    Little known fact: my grandfather was a naval corpsman stationed in China during WWII and his job was to check hookers for VD. In a letter to the girl he barely knew who would go on to become my gramma he wrote "the girls here cost a nickle but they aren't very good."

    So let's remember the real heroes this D-day, those who made sure sure that female Hitler hookers were free of the clap.

    • Come here a minute

      Well you gotta pay at least a shiny dime for the good stuff.

    • extreme_left

      …one of the un-recognised heroes of the greatest generation.

    • Chichikovovich

      From now on I will reserve a thought for him every time I pass the tomb of the Unknown Boner.

    • flamingpdog

      And to think my dream job up til now was mattress tester.

    • tessiee

      "the girls here cost a nickle but they aren't very good."

      I love this so much, and I don't even know why.

  • Come here a minute

    Hitler was an inscrutable Chinaman — he made the world blame the Holocaust on the Germans!


      • bagofmice

        There you go again, playing the Reich card.

  • this is completely OT but i think jian ghomeshi is hott.

  • Boojum

    Kirsten, for the kitty Hitler, I love you right now.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    “I’m opposed to cooperation with the Adolf Hitlers of our day, the people who are murdering Christians and other religious people as we speak."

    What kind of "Christians"? If the Chinese government is murdering evangelicals then good for them.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Ein volk, ein Reich, ein Furball!

  • pinkocommi

    Tsk, tsk, Representative Rohrabacher. That's no way to talk about our overlords.

  • arihaya

    this is I believe, the same Representative who asked Iraqi people to PAY for the cost of Dubya's invasion of their country

    oh yeah:

  • You know who else murdered "other" religious people?

    (Hint: it's a trick question.)

    • Blueb4sunrise
    • Fairtackle


      • Did he? I thought the persecution of Christians came after his time. Also, is Hideyoshi his personal name or his clan name?

        • Fairtackle

          Near as I can tell, he gave the order to crucify 26 uncooperative Christians near Nagasaki in 1549. Tokugawa came to power next and continued martyring Christians. Hideyoshi was born a peasant, surname Toyotomi.

          Not one to suffer fools apparently. Also a much better grasp of irony than Alanis Morrisette.

          • Yes, I was thinking of the Tokugawa Shogunate. I think the persecution of Christians came to a peak under them.

            Do you remember if Toyotomi's Christians were Japanese or foreign? And if foreign, of what nationality?

          • Fairtackle

            Wikipedia is vague, but six were European Franciscan missionaries, probably Spanish and the rest were Japanese. Sounds like one of the Europeans got a canonization out of it so it worked out pretty well for him.

          • Thank you.

    • real_dc_native

      The knights who went on the Crusades?

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Andrew Jackson?

    • tessiee

      Well, dang, I was expecting somebody to say "The Inquisition".

    • DahBoner

      All of 'em, Katie.

    • chicken_thief

      Pontius Pilate?

  • extreme_left

    oh yeah these loons aren't lining up China for the war-wontoozie.

  • glamourdammerung

    Keep in mind that Rohrabacher vouched for the Taliban and is good pals with Oliver North.

    • Always good information to remember. Rep Rohrabacher sees himself as one of those mavericky type heroes like that Charlie Wilson dood.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So let me get this straight — Hitler's the one who can't be allowed to have clean water, and Jesus is the one who wants to fence in homosexuals so the rich can hunt them in game parks. Have I got that right?

    • I'm not sure, I might need to re-read The Hunger Games.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Cats aren't the only evil internet meme animals, you know.

  • mavenmaven

    They are just cold murdering Christians as he speaks.

    • extreme_left

      not just now either.. a few years ago I went to a Chinese restaurant where the carpet was so sticky it was a Biological weapon.. and that was in Australia!! there could have been xtians in the place.

  • Negropolis

    You know, I'd like to be doing our clean energy research totally in-house, myself, but talk about hyperbole.

    • I agree, actually.

      • Negropolis

        I'm from a state that ca and wants to do anything it can to help us and thus help the nation. We've got more engineers than just about any state in the nation, cheap real estate, unused and underused industrial space, cheap cost of living, awesome universities, and on and on and on…just waiting for our government to use us, and I say the government in particular, because the private sector abandoned us.

        There is SO much unused capacity of all types in this nation, right now. Our previous governor tried to make us the place to do "green" research, development and manufacturing, but the private sector has to do it's role and the Feds have to start getting economically patriotic. I have no qualms about calling myself a labor social democrat. I'd love for us to develop technologies, here at home, and then we can sell them to the rest of the world. Everybody wins, then.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    FREE TIBET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • flamingpdog

      When you buy another Tibet at the regular price

      • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        * does not apply to economy-size Tibets

    • That I can get behind.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Also, what's with the androgynous names. The wingnuts are martyrs to them!

    • scvirginia

      If they'd been given names that were gender-appropriate, do you think they'd have to struggle so to prove their masculinity?

  • ttommyunger

    Dana is, in fact, of Germanic origin. Actually, Rohrabacher is German for "lisping, doughy pantload". Look it up.

  • subsum

    Dana Hollabackgirl obviously has nothing to say so he'll say anything.

  • owhatever

    Ghost Breitbart has an interview scheduled with Ghost Hitler, who has been wanting to meet Ghost Breitbart for the longest time. Ghost Jesus was not invited.

  • Adolph Hitler was a guy so bad that his name has kind of been banned. Do any of you guys know anyone named Adolph? Or what about Hitler? Do any of you guys know anyone named like Josh Hitler or Courtney Hitler?

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Well, there's this story about a kid named Adolf Hitler Campbell.

      Then there's Rainer Hoess, whose grandfather was commandant of Auschwitz. Also in that link: Katrin Himmler and Bettina Goering.

    • crybabyboehner

      Same with Heil Hitler .. you never meet anybody named Heil.

    • schvitzatura

      My uncle, and his pops (my gramps), both Adolphs, except Polish.

      Someone I used to work with had an uncle, a law officer in one of the rural states of Brazil, who was named "Hitler Mussolini". I'm guessing that people around the 1930's in remote places heard of these "important" people who turned around economies and unified nations, and named their male kiddos such, in hopes of better things for them down the line.

      Plenty of Adolfos running around, too, still.

    • I had a fish named Albert Speer.

      • We were strange children. All our fish were named after contemporary leaders. Abba Eban. Moshe Dayan. Golda Meier. Lee Kuan Yew. Mao Zedong. Indira Gandhi was an angelfish. Abba Eban only had one good eye. Or maybe that was Moshe Dayan.

    • Estproph

      Just the meat tenderizer…

  • arihaya

    is Rohrabacher the German for "cousin fucker"?

    • attilatheblond

      It might be German for 'santorum'

  • crybabyboehner

    What better way to honor the soldiers of D Day than to compare your political opponents to the enemy they defeated?

  • DahBoner

    How Mao Brown Kitler?

  • attilatheblond

    Lazy Republican pols need to learn some real swear words and stop throwing Hilter around.

  • qwerty42

    I have to assume most of these guys base there knowledge of WW2 on old movies and Sgt. Rock comics. It would be laughable if it were not so serious. The events they seem to focus on are Munich, which they don't understand (to know anything about it would require some knowledge of "The Great War", and that was a long time ago, so they ignore it), and the Japanese surrender on the Missouri.

  • elburritodeluxe

    Usually I'm with you, but this proud lib-tard wouldn't give shit to China.

  • Cat Hitler Iz Nut Amuzed! Aren't Youze Von Who Told Ze Joke About Me Becoming a HairBall!

  • babyjogger123

    Coincidentally, that cat happens to be the Chief Financial Officer of Bain Capital.

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