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Hello my precioussssHello, California! The voters, in their infinite wisdom, have done another fun thing to your precious California ballot, and that is that you can now vote for your favorite two people in any primary election, starting today! Apparently Rolling Stone thinks this means that Dems will vote for moderate Republicans instead of the rabid folk who currently win Republican primaries, and that this will break the black-helicopter folks’ iron grip on their nominations. This is because Rolling Stone is HILARIOUS.

No, what it really means is that sly, sneaky California Democrats can ensure that the GOP’s standardbearer for US Senate will be everyone’s favorite dentist/real estate agent/lawyer/Martian one Ms. Orly Taitz! You have your orders. Now go ACORN that shit!

UPDATE! Your editrix has no idea how this fucking thing works!

A tipster writes in to inform us that we got the entirety of this post entirely wrong (except for the part where Dems can vote Taitz!). You can only vote for ONE PERSON, but in any party. The top two vote getters will be on the November ballot regardless of party — two Dems, two GOPpies, two Martians, whatever. Your editrix was under the impression that this was something different from that, because California had an open primary for a hot minute and the Supreme Court struck it down. (At last, a thing your editrix did know!)

From the Cali Secretary of State:

Open Primary System

The provisions of the “closed” primary system were amended by the adoption of Proposition 198, an initiative statute approved by the voters at the March 26, 1996, Primary Election. Proposition 198 changed the closed primary system to what is known as a “blanket” or “open” primary, in which all registered voters may vote for any candidate, regardless of political affiliation and without a declaration of political faith or allegiance. On June 26, 2000, the United States Supreme Court issued a decision in California Democratic Party, et. al. v. Jones, stating that California’s “open” primary system, established by Proposition 198, was unconstitutional because it violated a political party’s First Amendment right of association. Therefore, the Supreme Court overturned Proposition 198.

So why is this one not un-Constitutional? Beats the fuck out of us! Please play Constitutional Lawyer in the comments!

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