BATTLEAXE OF THE REPUBLIC  12:45 pm June 5, 2012

One Million Moms Defeats Battalion Of Gay Green Lantern Comix Nerds, Hides

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

sexy witchesPoor One Million Moms. So many campaigns in which to declare victory before frantically fleeing in disarray, so little time! So whom did OMM defeat this time? Bloodthirsty lesbian Ellen Degeneres is yesterday’s news. Nope, now it is the Gay Green Lantern, and his legion of fanboys. OMM, having obviously crushed this un-superhero’s un-super agenda, has now deleted its Facebook page entirely, because of Bible Camp.

The New Civil Rights Movement reports that moments after issuing a “warning” Friday about DC’s official announcement (see below), the page’s administrator began deleting positive comments before apparently giving up and removing the post entirely. Shortly afterward, the One Million Moms page disappeared from Facebook, certainly the initiative’s most valuable social media platform. The abrupt exodus was followed by a tweet announcing, unconvincingly, to Facebook users that, “OMM will be offline most of next week for Vacation Bible School!”

What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM’s Facebook page?

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

[Robot6/NewCivilRights]

 

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{ 169 comments }

tihond June 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Their livejournal page remains… ever vigilant. Last posted to four years ago.

Lascauxcaveman June 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

OMM-nom-nom. Halloween candy delivered by sexy anime witches.

Maman June 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Where is Sailor Moon?

sullivanst June 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Aww, I was hoping the witches were the treat.

Guppy June 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Baconzgood June 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

How many MILFS are members?

edgydrifter June 5, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Speaking just for myself and without ever having seen any of them, ZERO.

ProgressiveInga June 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

NONE of 'em, Katie……

Chow Yun Flat June 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Crazy ones sometimes are real red hot mommas.

Swampgas_Man June 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Mothers I'd Label Fucked-up?

MadBrahms June 5, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Mothers with Incredible Lesbonic Fantasies?

Chill_Bill June 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

OMM's last FB status update:
"Going back to the kitchen to make sammiches for one million dads!"

Sassomatic June 5, 2012 at 12:49 pm

OMM NOM. One million moms. Not One MILF.

sullivanst June 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"One million figure may not be accurate. Taxes and fees may apply."

HogeyeGrex June 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"Half a dozen batshit-crazy, repressed scolds" didn't have the same ring to it.

MadBrahms June 5, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I think being a member of NOM disqualifies one from being a MILF by default.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

This Green Lantern gay thing is a surprise? Hell, I figured it out back in the 70s when he shared a comic book with the Green Arrow.

HateMachine June 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

I think the only real surprise is that Batman wasn't the one DC decided to bring out of the closet. I mean, come on. Fabulously wealthy, perpetual bachelor, has a 'ward', has a cave full of leather outfits he likes to wear at night?

elviouslyqueer June 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

And don't forget that the Joker declared his love for him in The Dark Knight Returns. FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

HateMachine June 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Chet Kincaid June 5, 2012 at 1:37 pm
SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

But Batwoman is a lesbian!

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Wrong Green Lantern though; that was Hal Jordan, the Silver Age GL, who probably along with Jon Stewart is the most well-known of the Green Lanterns; this is Alan Scott, the original Golden Age GL.

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Soros, let me be the first to say that's sooooo brave of you to come out as a Green Lantern nerd. And I will love you just as much as before, no matter what.

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Nah, I've always been more of a Marvel fan. Still know the basics on DC though of course.

SexySmurf June 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Which one of the Green Lanterns banged Scarlett Johansson?

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

I bet that had to be a stunt double.

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Hal Jordan.

Baconzgood June 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

"Vacation Bible School!”

That sounds about as much fun as going on vacation to work at a Pizza Hut. Who the hell would want to do that?

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

Being raised in an atheist household, I was never forced to participate in this kind of shit, and I always felt great sympathy for my friends that were. Compassion, see, just like the Bible teaches.

proudgrampa June 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Oh, Baldar. You missed out on so much. Vacation Bible School was the epitome of the "religious experience."

It sucked. Big Time.

Baconzgood June 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Yeah it did. Imagine being in church….non-stop…..FOR A WHOLE WEEK!

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

We did get Lorna Doon's and Kool-aid. Yeah, I was raised Baptist.

proudgrampa June 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Oh. A fellow recovering Baptist. Southern or American?

It's a wonder we survived that.

cheetojeebus June 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Oh yeah, when the highlight of the day is a fucking snocone and story time includes a crazy "missionary" screaming that you will all burn in hell. Staying at home and watching endless daytime tv would be nirvana.

proudgrampa June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Yup. In my early teens. I finally got tired of those assholes screaming at me that I was going to burn in hell.

There has got to be something better than guilt to help you find a purpose in life.

OkieDokieDog June 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I spent many a summer at the Baptist vacation bible school pasting cotton balls on lambs (not real ones, which probably would have been way more fun). Then we'd sing Onward Christian Soldiers The highlight of the day was cookies & Koolaid.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Koolaid, huh?

elviouslyqueer June 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

You should've come to the Presbyterian VBS. We had brownies!

sullivanst June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Brownies?!! What sort of Presbyterians allow such sinful pleasures of the flesh as dessert?

elviouslyqueer June 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Oh please, this was Louisiana, where every blessing started with "Praise the Lord and pass the etouffee."

Chet Kincaid June 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"We can get the kids to believe all of this shit with cookies and Kool-Aid!!"

Lizzietish81 June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Weird, cause I remember Bible School happening in the actual summer when school stopped.

Course I was in Liberal Hippy Methodist Bible School, and they didn't want to interfere with our public education.

Baconzgood June 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

All good Christians are home schooled

prommie June 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Wasn't the movie called Jesus Camp?

Beowoof June 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I remember VBS, or as I like to think of it, Vacation Bible Torture. And we used to get out of school and go to religious education conducted by the church every week. That sucked too.

Ramon X June 5, 2012 at 1:31 pm

It's been a very long time ago… But the only thing I remember about VBS was that there were girls. Maybe I didn't do it right?

Chet Kincaid June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Trust me, nobody. Between that and Bible Camp, where you spend morning and evening on religious claptrap with humiliations in the woods in the afternoon, summer is pretty much fundie-fucked.

Jimmyone June 5, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I lost my virginity to the Pastor's 16 year old daughter at VBS. I didn't know what a blow job was at the time……. I couldn't concentrate on the Bible part for the rest of the week. I spent the rest of my life in the pursuit of THE Blow Job. Is that covered in the Bible?

Sassomatic June 5, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Where is this million-mom camp? Sodexho would very much like to get its hands on that food service contract.

scvirginia June 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Even with multiple personality disorder, there's only so much that one mom can eat…

PuckStopsHere June 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

They are busy watching the Stanley Cup playoffs. Wait…not plausible. Nobody is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

fartknocker June 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Watch it Puck. You're entering into Barb's area of interest. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (which I learned in Vacation Bible School).

Chet Kincaid June 5, 2012 at 1:49 pm

If anything happens to ESPN's One And Only Hockey Commentator Barry Melrose, I'm sure Barb can step in!

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 12:51 pm

"If at first you don't succeed, shut down your webpage and run away."

Chill_Bill June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Sarah Palin must be their FB Page Admin.

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Anyone search for a Facebook page called "Lou Mom?"

George Skullfry June 5, 2012 at 2:43 pm

And declare victory.

Butch_Wagstaff June 5, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Then you just lie and say how you "won".

Fairtackle June 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

One Million

This is what counting looks like when educated in the LA school system.

HogeyeGrex June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Or Vacation Bible School.

Blueb4sunrise June 5, 2012 at 12:53 pm

To fap or not to fap?
HAHAHHAHAHA!! Just kidding.

Not_So_Much June 5, 2012 at 12:54 pm

OMM clearly doesn't understand 'winning' or 'math'. 47 cranky religionbots ≠ one million.

Chichikovovich June 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM’s Facebook page?

They've all been raptured?

(Please, please, pleeeeeeese, let it be that.)

veritass June 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

OMM will be offline most of next week while we attend a math class to learn what the number "one million" means!

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:01 pm

They must have learned math in one of those for-profit private religious schools in Louisiana.

FNMA June 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

One-hundred-and-twenty percent of Fox News viewers agree with that. Forty percent were undecided.

Butch_Wagstaff June 5, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Jesus Saves You U?

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 12:55 pm

What is this country coming to when a hate group can't even have a facebook page? When will the anti-anti-gay bullying finally stop?

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:10 pm

By calling them bullies, you're guilty of reverse bullying!

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

So I'm guilty of anti-anti-anti-gay bullying? I'm soooo confused.

valthemus June 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Since so many of the anti-gay bullies are bullies, you're guilty of anti-anti-anti-gay bully bullying. I think.

George Skullfry June 5, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.

edgydrifter June 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Life must be pretty sweet when the thing that keeps you awake at night is anxiety about where a second-tier comic book character parks his fictional tackle.

Fare la Volpe June 5, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Isn't it canon that there are at least a billion Green Lanterns at any one time? How does the presence of a single gay one destroy the lives of families everywhere?

Butch_Wagstaff June 5, 2012 at 5:01 pm

The answer's is easy. It's Science! Or something…

johnnyzhivago June 5, 2012 at 12:56 pm

One Million Moms with firearms would be trouble…

NorthStarSpanx June 5, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Not if they shoot like Sarah Palin.

ProgressiveInga June 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Can't wait for Robin to come out and gay-marry Green Lantern and they have a gayby. Then Heather will have Two Super-Daddies.

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 12:58 pm

No one tell them that Marvel has had many openly gay characters for quite some time, generally without making a big deal over it, and had the first male-male kiss in mainstream comics between Shatterstar and Rictor in X-Factor quite a few years ago.

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I was going to mention Apollo and the Midnighter have been gay since the 1990s, but DC only acquired them when they bought Wildstorm a few years ago.

valthemus June 5, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Let's tell them about Love & Rockets and watch their heads explode.

Viva Latina Lesbians!

FlownOver June 5, 2012 at 2:39 pm

I must say my life is, on the whole, far more serene not knowing my Shatterstar from my elbow.

Butch_Wagstaff June 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

They're not One Million Comic Nerds.

Rotundo_ June 5, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Jesus yawned. And then scratched his balls, got a beer and sat down to watch the game and fall asleep-again.

prommie June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Maybe there is no devil, maybe its just God when he's drunk. Tom Waits

An_Outhouse June 5, 2012 at 4:47 pm

BUILD THE DAMN FENCE!!!

Oh, wait. You meant Gee-zus not Hey-Zeuss.

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

OMM is actually preparing for their big relaunch with a new name — Fifty Creepy Men and Their Beards.

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:00 pm

…Facebook, certainly the initiative’s most valuable social media platform.

Oooooo… Burn!

sewollef June 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Yeah…. not sure I'd call them an "initiative" either.

Goonemeritus June 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

The real storey is not the Green Lantern is gay in an Alternate Universe, the real storey is North Star is getting gay married 6/20/12 in our Universe. Sure all you can rejoice at this acceptance of an alternative life styles if you want but the day I accept a French Canadian Hero is the day I die.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

"French-Canadian Hero"

Well, he is a mutant, right?

Doktor StrangeZoom June 5, 2012 at 2:31 pm

SNIKT!!

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

“OMM will be offline most of next week for Vacation Bible School!”

Just kidding. They're all waiting down at the newsstand to pick up the new issue of Green Lantern when it comes out (as it were).

Billmatic June 5, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Is it just me or is there is a lot more cheesecake on this site lately?

Beowoof June 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

You ask like it's a bad thing?

proudgrampa June 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Hmmmm. Those "sexy witches" are HAWT.

What was this about, again?

prommie June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Faptastic anime witches!

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 1:04 pm

One million moms is not so much a description of their members as it is their total weight as a group. There's really like 147 members.

UnholyMoses June 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

You forgot "Running Away Like A Bunch Of Pissy Middle School Girls Because Everyone Thinks We're Rucking Fetarded" as an option.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:06 pm

It's really too bad DC didn't out the Green Lantern a year ago, maybe the movie would have done better at the box office, at least among the gay population… You know, Brokeback Lantern.

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I, for one, only see movies that have sheep in them. And I will pay more for sheep.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm

What, so you can "glue cotton" to them?

StealthMuslin June 5, 2012 at 1:07 pm

In the 1940s the Superman radio show did a Wikileaks number on the secrets of the Ku Klux Klan. http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/39296 This week Gay Green Lantern shut down the One Million (40K tops) Moms. In terms of doing good in the real world this puts superheroes two up on God.

CapnRadio June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Eatin' muff? Will their big gathering be The One Million Mom Munch?

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

More like Pancake Breakfast.

prommie June 5, 2012 at 1:33 pm

That I would pay to see!

UnholyMoses June 5, 2012 at 1:08 pm

What, you mean most groups don't entirely delete their pages when taking a break, choosing instead to leave them up until they return?

UNPOSSIBLE!

ShreditorsDesk June 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

"We are all single and pregnant, so we won't be posting for 9 months."

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I propose we start our own organization. One Million Skullf*ckers. (OMSF for short) Our version of "camp" will be way more exciting than their's.

UnholyMoses June 5, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Hell, the Nazi's version of "summer camp" was probably more exciting than theirs will be.

(What? Is it still too soon … ?)

sewollef June 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Just point me to your sign up page.

UnholyMoses June 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

You know who else had a summer camp?

Blueb4sunrise June 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Bill Murray?

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Tommy?

chascates June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Jason Voorhees?

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Allan Sherman?

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

William T. Sherman?

MosesInvests June 5, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Alyson Hannigan?

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 1:12 pm

When do we get to learn the results of these surveys? Or are they collecting data to do a study on the opinions of sexual deviants?

sewollef June 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Has anyone ever counted them?

I mean, are there actually one million mothers who are crazy as fucking hell? Wow.

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

I think it's really "A dozen or so moms", but like the old "moral majority" they assume the majority of other moms are as backwards and hate-filled as them and silently agree. And they are wrong.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:14 pm

They took down their Facebook page because they're moving to the more relevant social media platform, MySpace. They'll probably keep their AOL email addresses, though.

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Well, duh. They have a thousand free hours on CD-ROM.

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

AOLibel!!!!!

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:18 pm

But purists and fans note: This Green Lantern is not the emerald galactic space cop Hal Jordan who was, and is, part of the Justice League and has had a history rich in triumph and tragedy. Instead, he's a parallel earth Green Lantern. James Robinson, who writes the new series, said Alan Scott is the retooled version of the classic Lantern whose first appearance came in the pages of "All-American Comics" No. 16 in July 1940…..DC comics has other gay characters, too, including Kate Kane, the current Batwoman, The Question, and married characters Apollo and the Midnighter. http://news.yahoo.com/green-lantern-relaunched-br

Yeah, come on, folks, it's just Alan Scott.

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Also Rob Halford.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"came in the pages of "All-American Comics"

Hence their being all stuck together.

And dude, 1940? He's gotta be all old and wrinkly, right?

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

The whole DC timeline got rebooted, so…no.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:35 pm

OK. I guess since I stopped reading comics for the most part at about the same time I got my first car and girlfriend, around 35 years ago, I'll stop trying to pretend I'm up to date.

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:27 pm

DC's got a bajillion Green Lanterns. If Hal Jordan came out of the closet, people might have a reason to care.

Naked_Bunny June 5, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Arisia was a teenage alien, but at least she wasn't a guy!

George Skullfry June 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

"Arisia"?

Doc Smith LIBEL!!!

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Having Apollo and Midnighter in the main DC universe after the reboot is strange, because they're obvious analogues to Superman and Batman, except they're a couple and are willing to kill. As part of the Wildstorm universe they worked well; but now they're in the same world as the real Clark and Bruce and that's somewhat odd.

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

If your point is that DC is stupid, you can rest your case.

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 2:02 pm

The reboot, especially, is stupid. Let's embrace the worst excesses of the 90s and make everything super grim, gritty and ultra-violent!

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

And with costumes designed by 90s icon Jim Lee!
Body armor and v-shaped collars for everyone!

valthemus June 5, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Mr. Scott is lookin' hot for a guy in his 70s.

mavenmaven June 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Does anyone else have an issue with the fact that they made Green Lantern's lover a short Asian man, which sort of perpetuates a different unpleasant stereotype?
and here's today's relevant hetero challenge (you know you will send this link to all your friends): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCMxEkbPaPY

Estproph June 5, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Well, he is vulnerable to the color yellow…

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

For the 100th time…not THAT Green Lantern…

metamarcisf June 5, 2012 at 1:21 pm

In the brightest day, in the blackest night, no mother shall escape my sight

Exhausted66 June 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

They just pinned running (away) shoes to their Pinterest page.

SorosBot June 5, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Here's a bunch of classic covers that show all the Wonder Woman bondage:
http://superdickery.com/index.php?option=com_cont

And it was all intentional; WW's creator was really, really into bondage. He also was married and him and his wife had a girlfriend they engaged in regular threesomes with.

Generation[redacted] June 5, 2012 at 1:29 pm

So I wasn't the only one fantasizing about being the ground crew for her invisible jet? (a little to the right, now forward, there right there)

Stevola June 6, 2012 at 1:03 am

Page 8:"Goblin Head Rock"?

Callyson June 5, 2012 at 1:24 pm

What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?

Moose hunting camp

Women's Christian Temperance Union meeting

The rapture

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Zombie apocalypse.

chascates June 5, 2012 at 1:26 pm

One million moms and they ALL are gone off to vaca bible skool?

Naked_Bunny June 5, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Well, they only have the one computer.

BaldarTFlagass June 5, 2012 at 1:30 pm

So, Green Lantern is gay. Your move, Fredric Wertham.

Fred_Wertham_Jr June 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm

They're just lucky Dad is dead.

prommie June 5, 2012 at 1:32 pm

I send Prommie Junior to a church camp. Its a Quaker camp, I call it, variously, Hippiecampus, or Camp Bongwaters. At drop-off and pick-up, every vehicle is a Volvo, and there are Birkenstocks everywhere. Peasant dresses and unshaved legs! I am surrounded by every liberal college professor stereotype in existence. They have turned him into a pacifist agnostic. Its great! I think the kids are all sexing each other, he's 12 now, jeebus, what the fuck, he should get to 13 at least, before delving into all that shit, shouldn't he? Fucking kids make you old.

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:39 pm

"pacifist agnostic"

How does that compare with an atlantic agnostic?

mavenmaven June 5, 2012 at 1:44 pm

That's the one that used to have a gay republican sarah palin birth conspiracy columnist, no?

neiltheblaze June 5, 2012 at 1:34 pm

They are the "Brave, Brave, Sir Robin" of conservative nut orgs.

BarackMyWorld June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm
owhatever June 5, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Dear Diary:
Day One — So happy to be at Bible Camp. Everyone is so friendly. Pastor Bill plays the most beautiful guitar to accompany the hymns.
Day Two — A million moms and ten portapotties.Thank you Jesus for building this majestic forest.
Day Three — Okay, which one of you bitches stole my eye-liner?
Day Four — Enough of the religion crap all day long. Caroline may a whore, but she brews some mean meth.
Day Five — Snuck into the counselor's tent last night and got drunk with Pastor Bill, after Jennifer said he was really hung. She was right.
Day Six — Skinny dip and orgy following evening services, and we all swear on bible not to tell.
Day Seven — Home to the hubby and my four darling children in time for church. Bill tweets during hymn 148 that he may have crabs.

Steverino247 June 5, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Well, I'll see your Survey and raise you mine: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/STBCXPW

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 5, 2012 at 1:56 pm

OMMILF

deit: Editrix, where do we go to see our vote results in these delicious polls?

keinsignal June 5, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Oh good, the poll allows multiple answers. I picked the last three, I think they make a rather compelling story put together…

Dashboard Buddha June 5, 2012 at 2:28 pm

How does one see the results of the poll?

anniegetyerfun June 5, 2012 at 2:41 pm

I am beginning to suspect that One Million Moms is actually a brilliant piece of guerilla marketing by an agency hired to promote the liberal agenda. Literally anything these broads bitch about is immediately a cpmplete success.

ChessieNefercat June 5, 2012 at 5:56 pm

"1. What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?"

I looked for OMM with "feminine itch", but didn't see it.

ttommyunger June 5, 2012 at 6:47 pm

"What would have been a better excuse for tearing down OMM's Facebook page?" Probably not the oral sex, I'm guessing.

Jus_Wonderin June 5, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Southern. The worst kind, right? Yeah, I am a backslider from as far back at 1973.

proudgrampa June 5, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Like I said. It's a wonder that we have survived that experience with our psyches intact.

anniegetyerfun June 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm

We're glad to have you here! Wonkette only takes the worst kind of anything.

George Skullfry June 5, 2012 at 2:36 pm

That is …. fabulous.

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