but that's socialism

GOP Lawmaker Wants To Raise Taxes Now For Some Reason (Hint: War)

Date night!

Add another tally to the “Yes” column on the “Is 2012 the year of the Apocalypse?” score sheet: a Republican in Congress has discovered the virtues of “revenue increases,” the polite society term for the more vulgar swear “tax hikes.” Who is the lucky apostate? Why, it’s the Senate’s favorite old Southern belle Miss Lindsey Graham, who is wilting like a sun-starved flower over the impending $600 billion in automatic budget cuts that the Pentagon will face starting next year if Congress does not act to reverse the sequestration agreement from last fall’s Budget Control Act (which also cuts an equal amount from domestic programs, as a punishment to the country for electing intransigent nuts to Congress). So, will Congress act? Will they get together and agree on places where budget cuts can be made to avoid sequestration without increasing the deficit? Lindsey Graham has your answer to these questions: NO. NOW RAISE TAXES.

First of all: Hahahaha, here is Lindsey Graham back in February:

“We’re not going to use a millionaire tax to fix every problem around here,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.). “If the Democrats have a problem with the way we’re paying for this, surely to God in a budget this big we can find enough money to avoid decimating the Department of Defense.”

This assured self-confidence has now all but given way to abject desperation. From the New York Times:

Mr. Graham is openly talking about revenue increases to offset the costs. Even South Carolina’s ardently conservative House members, Mick Mulvaney, Joe Wilson and Jeff Duncan, said last week that they were ready to talk.

And if the news that some Republicans are publicly advocating tax hikes isn’t apocalyptic enough for you, Lindsey Graham wants his tax hikes so that he can start actual Apocalypse:

“The debate on the debt is an opportunity to send the world a signal that we are going to remain the strongest military force in the world,” [Graham] said. “We’re saying, ‘We’re going to keep it, and we’re going to make it the No. 1 priority of a broke nation.’ ”

To that end, his arguments grow increasingly complex, involving a near-term confrontation with Syria and what he is sure will be a military strike on Iran late this summer, “an air and sea campaign from hell,” he tells an audience in Sumter. A large screen at the Third Army command center in nearby Shaw Air Force Base seemed to back him up on that. It broadcast a multicolored map of Iran with its air defenses demarcated in loud, red circles.

Raising taxes to start more wars! That should go over well. Job well done, Ham Biscuits. [NYT]

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272 comments

      1. weejee

        Iraq was the epitome of supply side economics. Used to be wars were financed by 1) seeing your neighbor has some cool shit; 2) sending in your army to take it. Your basic loot&pillage curve from econ 101.

        Shrub fresh from flossing in Cheney's undisclosed location, gave heartless Dick's old firm Halliburton a free ride to pillage. But this was with a new twist, instead of pillaging Iraq, that would be immoral, Halliburton was given a no-bid, no-limit ticket to pillage the American taxpayer. Cheney still wets himself Laffering about it.

    1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

      I'm sad because Grover was always my favorite Muppet and this guy has ruined the name.

  1. Barb

    And just where are we going to find the poor young people to join the military? We can't be asking the rich to send their sons and daughters, can we?

    1. boobookitteh

      If you outlaw birth control and abortion for all but the wealthy, you create a lot of little soldiers.

    2. flamingpdog

      Octomon is in dire need of some Ameros. Can she get a signing bonus in advance for all her younguns?

      1. Barb

        Octomom just took a gig as a stripper. (seriously) Who knew that many kids would be expensive. DUH!

        1. sharethegrief

          I have always thought that the asshole who implanted all of those eggs should have to pay child support and have his medical license revoked.

        2. MittBorg

          Dear god. Her father went BACK to Iraq to work in a war zone to support her kids. Her mother spends time helping out with the kids. And now she's stripping for a living? Those poor, poor kids.

      2. Dashboard Buddha

        It will be fun to be a fly on the wall for her son's 18th birthday.

        "Mom…why is there a stranger in uniform at the party?"

        1. Barb

          Lol, Dashboard. I think Octomom is such an attention whore that she would do anything to be in the spotlight.

    3. MittBorg

      No, of course not. Or as some woman in a nearby wealthy suburb explained when she called the US Army to complain about recruiters trying to recruit HER kids, "It's not our kind of people you should be recruiting."

      1. anniegetyerfun

        When the military recruiter called me, I said, "I'm unabashedly gay. Is that bad?". Dial tone.

        It's only a partial lie, really.

          1. boobookitteh

            I got calls almost constantly my senior year of High School and the summer after graduation. I finally had to tell them to fuck off and take me off whatever list someone put me on as a joke.

          2. MittBorg

            That would have driven me crazy if you were my kid. Geez. Back when Reagan was making noise about dropping the bomb on various people, I was readying to send the stepsons up to Canada.

          3. boobookitteh

            My parents actually thought it was funny (bastards). Which, if you knew me, it kind of was. There are few people less suited to wake up early and follow orders than I. And also, too, the part about me being a peacenik commie.

          4. Dashboard Buddha

            When I was a' joinin' age, I was inundated with calls and mail. Turns out my girlfriend's mom put my name in.

          5. Dashboard Buddha

            Actually, it was a win all around. Turns out my erstwhile true love played for the other team. This didn't come out (pun intended) until years later. At that age, being the ignorant fuck I used to be, I would have taken it pretty hard if a chick left me for another chick. Sorry, folks, it was the times. I'm much wiser now, trust me.

            Speaking of moms…my bride to be's mom fucking ADORES me. Go figure.

          6. MittBorg

            That worked out nicely!

            And it's great to hear about your future MiL. Believe me, it's much better to be adored than despised. (Hugs the DbB) Congratulations on your soon-to-be-married state and many happy years with your bride!

          7. anniegetyerfun

            Well, I swing both ways. But I was WAS unabashed about it.

            My mother was standing nearby when I took the call, and she was mortified. "Goddamnit Annie," she shouted, as though me enlisting in the military was a better option than me being gay (to be fair, even if I WANTED to be in the military, I have about a bazillion disqualifying medical conditions – although I had mentioned those to previous recruiters and still received calls back. It was the gay comment that finally got them to take me off the list).

    4. flamingpdog

      Did you announce you're a grandma in some other blog post? With our hyperactive editrix on board, Barb, you gotta make the announcement on every blog post or us peoples that gots a jerb are gonna miss it!

        1. Barb

          I changed it Chic, lol. I have to make room for Christine's baby. I can't show favoritism.

      1. Barb

        Flaming, I've been in La-La Land all day, sorry.
        I've gnashed my teeth so hard today that I had to take Tylenol to be able to eat.
        One grandchild down, one to go.
        Thanks for being sweet, you rock!

    5. Chichikovovich

      I'm a bit late to the celebration – but let me join in. What a beautiful sight that little swaddled newborn is. Enjoy this happy time!

      1. Barb

        Chich, last night I didn't get to sleep at all, no, no
        The sleepin' pill I took was just a waste of time.

        Wait, that is a song and not my real life, lol. Duh! Victoria went into labor yesterday and I was wired for sound all night.

        Now we just have to get Christine's daughter into this world and I will owe God everything.

      1. Barb

        Moses, you were last to the party, yes. The rest got room temperature beer. I saved the champagne for you, Baby!

        Thanks!

          1. Barb

            Congrats on your p-ness, my friend.

            Here's the secret to larger p-ness. I am so about to become unpopular from saying this. Yeah, like the people who respond night and day and day and night to my posts bother to give me a p-point when they reply.

            If you have a website to promote, bonus! Just say ANYTHING! Latch onto clever, and witty remarks and just fucking say ANYTHING!

            Why bother making one really awesome response that gets a 100, 200, 300, 400 p-point rating for a single reply, as happens here? Just *bang* bang* bang* away and make LOTS and LOTS of shittified low rated p-point comments that are attached to highly rated comments and take the low scores and milk it. Fifty shitty replies will get you two "hand job" p-points and beats the shit out of coming up with one clever 100 point reply.

            Moses, you deserve a higher p-point rating for your complete awesomeness. I will stay here until you reach a p-point score of 200 . I'm going to follow you and I want to hear what you have to say. Thanks for restoring my faith in people who make p-points by being original, fun, witty and clever.

          2. flamingpdog

            Actually, I've found that pretty much the same comment gets more upfists when it is presented in response to a comment by a high-p person like you than it gets when presented in response to a comment by a low-p person.

            Not that I wouldn't comment *cough* on your comments if you only had 85 p, sweet Barb.

          3. Barb

            P-DAWG! The temperature dropped here 30 degrees in one hour and made me a happy desert dweller. I couldn't breathe from the smoke from the wild fires and the high temps.

            I hope all is glad you in your world!

            Back to business, so many people here make awesome posts. Misstaken is the smartest, most awesome woman here. I won't reply to her posts because that would just be p-point whoring. Why let her do the heavy lifting and I just coast on her p-point "trickle down?"

            I LOVE smart, clever and insightful replies to my comments. Then I get the "Barb replied before I did" cries and it has nothing to do with my post. It is the logjam of replies. People get bored with the "say anything " replies and they don't bother to read awesome posts that stand alone.

            I'm thinking about ignoring Wonkette during the day and just breezing through here at night and just posting "huggles" "muggles" and "wuggles" "FTW" "All of them Katie" "anything LIBEL" "LOL" "HMM" posts to anything highly rated and shaving 9 hours worth of posting time off of my life and spending that time doing Pilates. By "Pilates" I mean eating Cheetos and watching porn.

          4. starfanglednut

            But Barb, I am generally out most days, and enjoy coming home, logging onto wonkette, and enjoying conversation and snark with friends in a community of like minded individuals. Also if someone says something funny or insightful, I like to respond. And while I am not the funniest person here, I am very nice. I don't think any of this makes me a p-point whore. In fact, if you look at my pee, it's clear that I'm not.

          5. MittBorg

            (Hugs starfanglednut) You are NOT, most definitely not, an anything-whore. You are a sweet and wonderful person, and it is a major high point of my life to come here and find you all sweet and friendly and full of news about your day.

          6. MittBorg

            I got a fire inspection in less than two weeks, so every day is a hard working day! I'm fucking all broken-winged again. But that's OK, tomorrow's another day.

          7. MosesInvests

            Aw, shucks, Barb, now you've got me feeling like Sally Fields at the Oscars ("You like me! You really like me!").

      1. MittBorg

        Darling, that boy is so not on top of anybody, ever. Lindsey has "BOTTOM" writ large all OVER his face. And probably tattooed on his dainty ass, as well.

    1. boobookitteh

      I would laugh at that if I weren't about 54% sure that was going to be the actual GOP slogan at some point.

        1. MittBorg

          Um, oh, let's see — because all of humanity would simultaneously self-immolate in a horrible and painful (and terminal) attempt to end the suffering?

  2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Sadly, I have to give Lindsey Graham credit for actually wanting to pay for the next war. That is a remarkable improvement over the last few wars Republicans started.

    1. glamourdammerung

      Sadly, I have to give Lindsey Graham credit for actually wanting to pay for the next war. That is a remarkable improvement over the last few wars Republicans started.

      This is actually one stance that the Republicans have been consistent on, even if deficits did not actually matter until 20 January, 2009.

      1. flamingpdog

        He's gonna be unfried "Scrapple" if he doesn't back off the increasing taxes thingie.

        1. sullivanst

          I dunno, I think I see Jim Demint firing up a skillet and carving Miss Lindsey up with his eyes while he sharpens the knife.

  3. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, in the end, the ability to bomb brown people is greater than the ability to cut taxes, which is greater than the ability to feed poor Americans or provide them with health care.

    As long as we know the priorities of the GOP, this should be easy.

    1. MittBorg

      I'm just so disgusted. We can't have health care for OUR Poorz, although we can pay for health care for ISRAEL's Poorz and Iraq's Poorz, and just about everybody else's that we can shake a few shekels at. We can't *afford* to keep our old people from subsisting on canned pet foods or dying in horrible poverty, but we CAN fund MILLIONS of dollars worth of PRISONS in which to incarcerate our fellow citizens.

      And we can't afford to feed hungry pregnant women, and hungry children and babies, but we CAN afford to tax our citizens to buy bombs to drop on other hungry pregnant women and children and babies.

      1. anniegetyerfun

        Well, to be fair, we have to practice bombing their poor, hungry pregnant women so that we have the method down when we finally turn to bombing OURS.

      2. Negropolis

        To be fair, we aren't paying for healthcare for poor Israelis given that they have universal health care. That money is going directly to their military.

        1. sullivanst

          Pretty sure most of our aid budget to Israel is not nominally military, but at this stage if we didn't reveal the recipient of the money a Goober would make a fungibility argument.

          1. Negropolis

            Then you'd be wrong. We ended economic aid to Israel in 2007, but even then, it was only a mere fraction of the total aid we gave to them. The overwhelming amount of money both then and now is military aid.

            BTW, up until the Iraq War, Israel was the largest annual recipient of American economic and military aid.

    1. Beowoof

      The Red Barn has been absent in Upstate New York for 40 years now. And yet this is the home of guys such as Carl Paladino, so you would think the Red Barn would be more popular.

    2. MittBorg

      I still haven't learned. I swear to god, it didn't take but one fucking second between reading your comment and clicking the link.

      I hate you so fervently right now, pdog.

  4. ttommyunger

    I smell a bitch-slapping contest between Senator Ham Biscuits and Grover "Pant-Load" Norquist…. I'd buy a ticket.

    1. flamingpdog

      Only if they hold the fight in a bathtub full of Jello and the loser gets drowned in that tub.

  5. MittBorg

    Damn, man, what the FUCK is wrong with these people? Over one million dead just in the last decade, JUST as a result of US military action, and that's STILL not enough? We're not even counting those who died as a result of wars started by other actors, or mischance, or starvation, or disease, or accident, or old age, or inadequate health care. What the FUCK is wrong with these fuckwits? Three quarters of the world lives in dismal conditions, with inadequate food, water, heating, housing, clothing, and aid, for fuck's sake, and these terrorist warmongers are all knocking each other unconscious in the rush to whip their dicks out and shake 'em at the world.

    Goddamn dumbass suicidal motherfuckers. Don't elect me god, peoples. I'm'a wipe out this whole fucking stupid species.

    1. flamingpdog

      Oh, MB, it's only the inbred, Scots-Irish subspecies, Homo sapiens dumbfuckistanensis, that needs to be wiped out.

          1. Negropolis

            Thank you. I was looking for the classical Latin name of the place, and couldn't find it in my brain.

          2. MosesInvests

            Well, as someone of Hibernian, Caledonian and Judean descent, I felt I had to set the record straight.

          3. Negropolis

            I'm embarrassed because I've got multiple lines and clans of ancestry back to Scotland.

            Brain farts are the best farts. lol

    2. LionHeartSoyDog

      I so wish Karma existed.
      In the lack of that, it's up to the people to achieve justice.
      This will take a while…

      1. MittBorg

        Karma *does* exist, it just doesn't work the way most people think it does, or should. That aside, yes, if you want *justice,* a search for karma won't discover it. The people must exact their own justice. Regrettably, the common wisdom of the human species is, at this point, neither common nor wisdom.

    3. new_pic_for_NEWTer

      Hey MittBorg – go easy on the species…
      The truth is, it's the Amercian Empire, built on the USA motto of "I got mine – Fuck You", and the fear that the other 99.9% are coming for what they've got. It's a particularly arrogant Amercian brand of deliberate blindness: oh they hate us because of our freedom, no blowback should ever come our way, we didn't do anything wrong…

      1. MittBorg

        Thanks, Newter. These little fits don't last long. I just wonder how we let ourselves, repeatedly, be bamboozled into thinking this bunch of lying shitsacks is ever going to represent *our* interests.

        1. starfanglednut

          Actually Z, I don't think it's the species, but an epidemic of spiritual sickness by which it has been infected. For lack of eloquence, I'll summarize this illness by saying it causes us to forget what is really important. Some are just sicker than others. This doesn't make the things they do OK by any means, but I do believe this illness can be combatted.

          Now back to our regularly scheduled snark.

    4. SayItWithWookies

      Apparently the only thing previously stopping the neocons from waging all hell on the rest of the world was — believe it or not — the Soviet Union. Who knew they were the good guys?

      1. MittBorg

        I think the Soviet Union could well have represented a new height for the rights of man if capitalist Europe hadn't immediately reacted as if it were the death of the world they knew (which it was/is, but as you can see, they're still going down fighting). The death throes will be long and uncomely.

          1. MittBorg

            Indeed. Why is it that, whenever there's an opening to power, the psychopaths always slip in? The history of the human species is one long collection of psychopaths winning power at the expense of the suffering masses being manipulated by them: Chingiz Khan, Tamurlane, Stalin, Hitler, Churchill. I guess those who LOVE humanity don't want POWER over them.

    5. DalePues

      This war has been on the radar screen since at least 1999-2000. I saw a presentation on C-span given by some kind of war meister-world domination wonder boy, using a gigunda back lit screen to an audience of government types, Rumsfeld, Pearl, maybe even Cheney. There was an expression this man used, but for the life of me I can't remember it right now. It had to do with regions and stuff. Mabye someone here remembers this.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Back then, I used to read all the journals, there was actually a use of the term 'intemperate zone' which roughly applied to 'weakly stable to unstable Islamic influenced nations'. Going back to the mid 70's the notion that Islam had spread from the Atlantic all the way around the globe to Indonesia first noted the instability caused by the Nixon/Kissinger negotiations with Israel and often called the region the 'ring of Islamic nationalism.' If that floats your boat, go with it; but the term often attracts claims of religious intolerance. However, on a purely geopolitical and geographic determination, both concepts tend to stand the test of time regardless of a religious or relativist determination.

        1. MittBorg

          Thank you, James Michael Curley. I thought it might have been a reference to the increased US military presence in Africa, which I remember some high Diggety Doo Dawg once parading about with a pointer and a chart showing zones of American influence, and Africa being Military Zone #X, our newest area of expansion and involvement. But that was a while ago, and it could have been a weed-inspired hallucination.

          This sounds more like reality. "Intemperate" zone, huh.

          1. James Michael Curley

            Probably wasn’t a hallucination. In the time period you reference, late Clinton years, the military was self-righteously indignant over the ‘Blackhawk Down’ incident part of the US Marines engagement in Mogadishu which started in 1992. The incident occurred in late 1993 and about twenty Marines were killed in the fighting before a somewhat stable but tense truce was established. Such was the broad geopolitics for almost fifteen years. During that time we were actually supplying both sides with small arms through various illegal channels. Instead of being in a strong hold encampment in Mogadishu which was under considerable siege as the US commitment to the UN directed peacekeeping effort was; there were many in the military who would surely advocate a more strategic course which, in military jargon, often mean ‘bomb the fuck out of them.’Short answer is that if weed makes you hallucinate about some Patton/Rommel/Turgedson types blitzkreiging it across Africa it is time to switch brands.

          2. MittBorg

            Interesting. I need to read more about Africa anyway, so feel free to recommend.

            It's either the weed or the plethora of books/films on the fucking wars, man. I'm getting mighty sick of reading about war. Might switch to something *light* and *fun* for a change. Soon's I get done with that documentary on the Kampuchean prisons.

            Thanks for the info!

          3. James Michael Curley

            Though not in a history book milieu check out http://www.africom.mil/ because it tends to shock many average US citizens (none of which hang out a Wonkette because we are all above average) how much official US military involvement there is in Africa. Before getting too deep into the historical and factual issues of military involvement in Africa, it is always safe to prefix it with Conrad’s “Heart of Darkness.” Here’s an etext. <a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/526http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/526<br />

          4. MittBorg

            I've read Conrad, but thanks for thinking of me! The other link was fascinating. I had no idea. Thanks very much, JMC, you're a constant fount of information!

      2. MittBorg

        My memory banks are suffering from overload right now, but doubtless our brilliant fellow-Wonketteers will come to our rescue.

    6. Butch_Wagstaff

      Aren't there some groups or our species that have had little or no contact with "civilization" who just go on living their own quiet existence?
      Because when the shit does down, I think (and hope) they'll survive and not the evil psychos who live in mansions and palaces.

      1. MittBorg

        (Hugs the Butch with a fond and friendly hug) From your lips to the ears of any deity or sufficiently developed organism that's planning to wipe out most of us.

    7. Callyson

      "Don't elect me god, peoples. I'm'a wipe out this whole fucking stupid species."

      So much for "let God sort 'em out…"

      Seriously, though, stellar rant, dude…

  6. coolhandnuke

    This is a but a rosy smelling fart in the wind from Lindsay. In a few days the GOP meat grinder will have reduced Graham Cracker's words to crumbs.

  7. pinkocommi

    If the Republitards are finally willing to betray their mostly dearly held principle of "no new taxes," just think of the number of drones we could buy from legalizing and taxing gay marriage, marijuana and late term abortions….

  8. Beowoof

    Raise taxes for war, fuck that, just borrow the money from China like W did. The republican undead said deficits don't matter. (With the corallary unless there is Black Democrat holding the presidency, then it really really matters).

  9. anniegetyerfun

    “The debate on the debt is an opportunity to send the world a signal that we are going to remain the strongest military force in the world,” [Graham] said. “We’re saying, ‘We’re going to keep it, and we’re going to make it the No. 1 priority of a broke nation.’ ”

    Oh, well, the rest of world is going to be incredibly impressed with our priorities. And by "the rest of the world", I mean, maybe North Korea, since that is also their priority.

    1. MittBorg

      Meanwhile, the rest of the world continues investing in alternative energy sources, extraplanetary exploration, limb, bone, blood, and joint replacement, medical and biotechnological developments that will reverse or ameliorate the effects of aging, and other such forward-looking and progressive developments.

      We'll be squatting round the garbage cans heating our Hobo Beans(tm) over fires made from remaindered Sarah Palin dreck and WorldNutDaily back issues. Saaking our fists at the stars and cursing the candles.

      1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

        But at least you'll still have no socialism and be the free-est country god ever gave the Earth, right?

          1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

            It won't do you any good, but the descendents of today's Walmart Family and assorted politicians and Wall Street fuckers will be sailing around in GM/Trump Star Cruisers, because America.

          2. sullivanst

            I am hereby inviting Donald Trump and all his friends for the inaugural cruise of the Trump(R) solid-gold Star Cruiser.

            Oh, what's that you say? I was supposed to leave enough air pockets to offset the weight? But then it wouldn't be solid gold, would it?

  10. Come here a minute

    This is America — we don't pay for wars!! We pass it off to our children and our children's children's children. You know, the old-fashioned way.

    1. flamingpdog

      Because he was stupid, but not crazy. The difference between 1980 and 2012 Rethugliklans.

    2. Schmannnity

      He did take them out and bought them some nice weapons, but still they wouldn't put out.

      1. MittBorg

        Yes, indeed. We would've had four more years of Carter (which would have done the country a great deal of good), otherwise.

    3. chascates

      He tried giving them a Christian Bible (and a chocolate cake) as a gift and if that wouldn't start a war probably nothing would. So he was only right to let Saddam use gas on them.

    4. littlebigdaddy

      Ronnie loved him some Iranians. They agreed to hold the hostages until after the election.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Another fact which is getting continually purged from the internet. When talking to a friend about this a year ago, I barely found a reference to George H.W.'s 'October Surprise' trip to Paris in 1980 and when I did it was on a website which looked like it was done with Mosaic in 1987. Maybe the Scribes and Chief High Priests of Reaganism can't cope with something written before html?

  11. flamingpdog

    Fuck, maybe the US Congress will finally be forced to hold a bake sale to finance all the military "modernization*"

    *bombers that don't work, fighter planes that don't work, tanks that don't work, military contractors who don't work

        1. Negropolis

          Well, they say that ignorance is bliss…for the rest of us outside their warped little world it is nothing but hell on earth.

    1. Darthhippy

      Something about the states rights to keep other human beings as slaves. Lincoln should have hanged all the un-elected officials of that slaving nation.

  12. randcoolcatdaddy

    “We’re saying, ‘We’re going to keep it, and we’re going to make it the No. 1 priority of a broke nation.’ ”

    Are we broke financially or morally? Or both?

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      I'm sure this sentiment was quite common in the former USSR. Worked great for them.

  13. Wile E. Quixote

    To that end, his arguments grow increasingly complex, involving a near-term confrontation with Syria and what he is sure will be a military strike on Iran late this summer, “an air and sea campaign from hell,” he tells an audience in Sumter. A large screen at the Third Army command center in nearby Shaw Air Force Base seemed to back him up on that. It broadcast a multicolored map of Iran with its air defenses demarcated in loud, red circles.

    I'd have to say that Hambiscuit's arguments are growing increasingly insane. If President Obama is stupid enough to get involved in the clusterfuck that is Syria or order a military strike on Iran (as opposed to the current sub rosa terrorist bullshit that we're currently supporting) then he's too fucking stupid to deserve re-election. Seriously, outside of AIPAC, the Wingnut-o-Sphere and the editorial pages of the Washington Post where is there any support for intervening in Syria or a military strike on Iran? Admittedly President Obama has done some stupid shit in the Middle East (getting involved in Libya, which was as stupid and unprincipled as anything the Bush administration did) but getting involved in Syria would quickly turn into a fucking disaster (Oh, and how are things working out in Libya these days?) and a military strike on Iran would be enough to make even the most dedicated of Obots say "Fuck you, Barry! I'm writing in Nader."

    1. Negropolis

      I was thinking the same thing. Sounds like a helluva lot of wishful thinking on their part. Obama played the sword rattling game with Iran for, like, a full minute and then let the shit die down when former Israeli's came forward admitting that Iran wasn't even an existential threat to them.

      So, warhawks, keep fuckin' that chicken, but please do it in private, now. Gracias.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      Agreed, although I don't think Barry will do it. Then again, I didn't think he'd expand the drone program, either.

      1. Wile E. Quixote

        Yeah, the drone program was a prime example of Barry bitching out to the military industrial complex and another thing that makes me think that the whole "11 dimensional chess" thing is so much wishful thinking on the part of the Obot-O-Sphere. Barry figured that he could look tough on the cheap by sending lots of remote controlled murder machines to the Middle East and that if he did David Brooks and the WaPo editorial staff would write columns praising him.

        1. Negropolis

          I don't know. I think it has less to do with him shallowly and cynically trying to placate conservatives, and more to do with him getting caught up in some false choices. I think he saw drones as an alternative to sending more ground troops than he already was to that area of the world, particularly to Pakistan where we can't put boots on the ground. Of course, the other argument is not to have a military presence in those remote areas at all, drones or troops.

          1. anniegetyerfun

            Agreed. What has me puzzled is the idea that we are protesting Pakistan's stupidity (in jailing the man who helped locate bin Laden) but bombing more funerals and wakes, rather than radically reducing our aid to them. It seems to run counter to the liberal ideals of political solutions, rather than military. Something goes wrong now, and Barry just shoots down a few more brown people.

            It's time we turned all of our efforts into being BFFs with India, and letting them have a free hand in dealing with Pakistan.

          2. MittBorg

            He can't do what he *wants,* only what he thinks will move his entire agenda forward. When the MIC is THAT eager to start another war, he can't nix the idea, he has to find some way to conduct it that will keep the screechers partly quiet while figuring out how to do it at lowest cost with minimum casualties to his people.

    1. flamingpdog

      You know, we probably could have a war and nobody come and the Rethugs would be perfectly happy, just so long as we keep dropping bombs in the middle of the ocean, crashing planes into lakes (retirement pastime for McCain?), and driving tanks into rivers so the war contractors could continue to rape the Federal Treasury and build their McMansions.

  14. FakaktaSouth

    "avoid decimating the Department of Defense".

    OR, as the Sec of Defense said to Paul Ryan – "giving us WAY more fucking money than we need." When in the hell did these "big strong white man's party" guys become such whiney twats? I swear to god it's like dealing with a thirteen year old girl. "YOU GUYS ARE SO MEAN!!! ALL I WANT IS ALL THE MONEYS FOR KILLING AND DEMOCRATS WANNA HAVE ROADS?? I HATE YOU!!!!!" and such. I wish they would give it a fucking rest already – the mock indignation and outrage is so stupid and annoying at this point.

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      I've said it before and I'll say it again The reason conservatives are mindlessly in favor of military spending is that they think it gives them cover for the fact that so many of them are lazy cowards who were incapable of or unwilling to actually serve in the military. Politicians like Paul Ryan wear their cheap, Chinese-made flag pins and call for unnecessary defense spending because they're lazy, cowardly punks, just like the people who support them.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        That, and they love all the sweet, sweet government defense contracts they hand out, the BILLIONS they have to circulate to the cocktards who turn around and keep them in office – all making the sweet circle jerk of government in action so much more fun for those in business. It's all a fucking racket, EVERYONE is sucking off that government money, just from different angles. Government Welfare at 800 bucks a month makes you a leech, a loser, a less-than – Govt "contract" at 800MILLION and you're a god damned genius, a job creator, a freedom fighter. Horrid wretched awful. ALL of them.

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          I'm sure I've said it before, but bitching about the people on welfare in the face of tax breaks to big oil, agricultural subsidies, the amount of waste engendered by the DoD, etc etc etc, is somewhat akin to griping about a mosquito bite when you have an alien face-hugger secured to your grill with its probe down your throat.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            It is all very bait and switch, very ridiculous, calculating, cynical, evil and honestly, excepting human nature, completely unnecessary. But hate is so much easier for people to understand, relate to, not notice they are being coerced into. And it works on all levels, cause I sure do hate these guys trying to tell me I am crazy for noticing their nonsense.

    2. MittBorg

      I like you. It sounds like you're in a filthy mood, like me. I'm recovering, so please rant for me while I sit here feeling all hatey and stabby.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I like you too! And I AM in a filthy mood! Sometimes it's just easier to fuck it out, ya know?

        1. Crank_Tango

          having grown up in the rust belt, I can't imagine being dumb enough to want to run a street circuit in a northern american city, without totally redoing the roads.

  15. owhatever

    Half the new money goes to the Pentagon and half to Planned Parenthood, and we got a deal.

    1. Crank_Tango

      but if you abort all the poor babies, who is gonna fight the wars, rich babies?

  16. iburl

    You guys should stop making fun of Lindsey. He is the one of the first gay openly congressional JAG officers to serve as a straight man and he is named after the Bionic Woman. Show some fucking respect.

    1. Negropolis

      He is the one of the first gay openly congressional JAG officers to serve as a straight man

      ROTFLMAO!

  17. chascates

    Defense contractors are the highest level of citizens, equal to billionaires and they must be allowed to continue selling the military 200 million dollar airplanes and 2 billion dollar aircraft carriers, even if the Pentagon doesn't want them.
    We must have a continuing war with SOMEBODY or we are not the America of the last 70-something years. One drone strike alone hitting a wedding party or friendly soldiers won't give us the amount of enemies we need to create. It'll take pig-headed imperialism on a global scale. And what better advocate for that then the Three Horseshits of the Apocalypse: Graham, McCain, and Liebermann.

    1. MittBorg

      I like "The Three Horseshits of the Apocalypse" as a moniker for those idiot louts. I would like to apply for permission to re-use with credit as and when.

    2. sullivanst

      Defense contractors are the highest level of citizens, equal to billionaires

      Heck, many of them are billionaires.

  18. Naked_Bunny

    Why can't we fund wars with charitable donations? That's supposed to work with welfare, and welfare isn't even fun to watch on TV.

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      How about a free market solution? It's what the shaven pongid wanted to do with social security.

          1. MittBorg

            We used to call him the Pongy Pongid, back when he was still screeching around The House. Who's the British cartoonist who does such a bang-up job pantsing him in The Guardian? I can't remember the guy's name, but he always makes George look like a chimp who flunked out of training school.

  19. littlebigdaddy

    So, national policy is set by an aging queen with a uniform fetish. I can't see anything wrong with this.

          1. sullivanst

            While the Magna Carta did establish some basic rights of the people, and did require the King to accept the "common counsel of our realm" before levying new taxes, it didn't in general remove policymaking power from the Throne; the Coronation Oath Act of 1688 and Bill of Rights of 1689 are really what finally cemented Parliament as the sole author of English policy.

        1. flamingpdog

          She actually looks kind of cute in that pic. Too bad I couldn't find one of her in an SS uniform for Limey Lizzie. Personally, I'd like to see her in this uniform.

  20. Sassomatic

    This sounds suspiciously like he wants to make the super rich pay for their own wars. If we could get them to sent their own children to fight them I might take the deal.

    1. MittBorg

      When the rich see their own tenderly-raised children coming home in body bags, they will shake the halls of power down to the foundations to exact their revenge.

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Which is a lot easier to do when you have a car elevator that goes to the basement.

  21. rocktonsam

    "Sen. Lindsay Graham is leading our overspent troops to be ab fab at all cost"

    - any repubican

  22. Antispandex

    You know what happens when some red neck says, "Damn, I'm broke, where can I get me some guns?"

  23. Native_of_SL_UT

    This is what Jesus would want. Jesus was OK with children going hungry as long as you still had big fucking bombs and stuff.

  24. SayItWithWookies

    Finally. Norquist has threatened to do everything he can to defeat any Republican who votes for any kind of tax increase whatsoever, and he gets to decide what's a tax increase and what isn't. It'll be fun to see both Lindsey facing really going through with voting for a tax increase as well as then either facing the humiliation of backing down or having to fight for his seat (something he hasn't done in years, ba-doom-boomp).

    1. flamingpdog

      On the up side, this could just be a prelude to Lindsey and Joe Loserman running off to Cancun to get gay-married and never coming back.

  25. Dashboard Buddha

    Can someone help me out and tell me just what the fuck "conservative" means any more? Oh, I have an idea but I've notice that the more profanity I use, the more I drink and I'd like to cut back. Is there a definition that can do this?

    1. sullivanst

      "Lying fucking asshole" is a good start, but still doesn't quite capture the essence.

  26. Chichikovovich

    Mr. Graham is openly talking about revenue increases to offset the costs. Even South Carolina’s ardently conservative House members, Mick Mulvaney, Joe Wilson and Jeff Duncan, said last week that they were ready to talk.

    Looking at this rogue's gallery, I'm not thinking that this indicates any particular desire for war, though I'm sure they would be happy enough to see one. Rather, it tells me that South Carolina has a 100% boondoggle-based economy that would crash harder than an F-22 Raptor if these cuts go through.

    1. Wile E. Quixote

      Rather, it tells me that South Carolina has a 100% boondoggle-based economy that would crash harder than an F-22 Raptor if these cuts go through.

      One can only hope. I'm waiting for a senator or representative from a net donor state, such as California, to stand up on the floor of the Senate or House and bring up the fact that South Carolina is full of lazy no-loads and parasites.

  27. Negropolis

    Why does every tax increase have to be a "hike"? decreases are just cuts, but any increase is a "hike."

    BTW, "sequestration" is actually as painful as it sounds. lol

    “We’re not going to use a millionaire tax to fix every problem around here,” said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.).

    How about we use a millionaire tax to fix some/a problem(s), then?

    Rest assured, as surely as they are snakes they are feigning consideration.

    1. flamingpdog

      Lindsey wants more bucks
      To have more wars for Jeebus.
      Tax hikes are from God.

      - tax haiku

  28. anniegetyerfun

    Isn't it, I don't know, sort of beyond the scope of Ms. Graham's job to describe to people exactly how he intends to wage war?

  29. Millennial Malaise

    What a coupla cunts. These enabling weasels are just as evil as Cheney but twice as banal.

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      At the risk of being Godwinned, they're the Franz Stangls of ideological purity.

  30. Wile E. Quixote

    Oh, and do you want to know one of the good things about the Electoral College? It allows you to just throw certain states under the bus, states like South Carolina. President Obama didn't win South Carolina in 2008 and probably won't win it in 2012, so why should he give a shit if the SC economy craters? If he really was playing 11 dimensional chess with the Republicans he'd push for closing down Fort Jackson and Parris Island and transferring their operations and personnel to other red states just to get the Republicans fighting amongst themselves.

  31. BaldarTFlagass

    Lindsey just hasn't had the same success since he broke up with Stevie Nicks.

  32. sullivanst

    I guess St. Ronnie is still fucking us from the grave. Whatever myth it is the GOP has constructed around him and the end of the Cold War (it's not coherent enough that I have any real comprehension of what their story even is), it's clear prevented them from understanding the true lesson of the fall of the USSR:

    A "broke" nation simply cannot stay strong by spending on its military as if it was rolling in money.

    The military is not going to be able to fix the things that fall apart when you defund all your civilian domestic programs to focus on blowing shit up, but it is going to find that stuff it critically depends on is now unavailable because of said falling apart.

  33. Estproph

    “We’re saying, ‘We’re going to keep it, and we’re going to make it the No. 1 priority of a broke nation.’ ”

    YOU CAN'T TAKE MY TOYS AWAY! I WON'T LET YOU!

  34. 1stNewtontheMoon

    if they cut the defense budget, then who's going to supply lindsey with recently unemployed young men in good physical shape to hire as escorts?

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