can't catch a break these days

Beloved ‘Let’s Hurl Acid At Them Demcrat Gals’ Staffer Resigns

PERSONThe dumbest political campaign spokesman in history has resigned, but why? Probably because he’s the dumbest political campaign spokesman in history, but more likely because of Reverse Sexism. When Jay Townsend, spokesperson for Rep. Nan Hayworth’s reelection campaign, said “Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators,” who was there to stand up for the male point of view — that female Democratic Senators should have acid hurled at themselves and just deal with it? No one. This War on Men needs to stop, before more assholes like Jay Townsend lose their asshole jobs.

The Hayworth campaign announced the resignation today and asked the public to focus on the real issues, instead of her employees who fap to burning female flesh. From The Hill:

The campaign adviser who suggested that opponents “hurl some acid at those female Democratic senators” has resigned from the congressional campaign of Rep. Nan Hayworth (R-N.Y.).

“Jay Townsend has offered, and I have accepted, his resignation from his position with my campaign,” Hayworth said in a statement. “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.”

Townsend will now focus his efforts on chemically maiming liberal women in the private sector.

[The Hill]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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    1. OneYieldRegular

      Seriously. One of your employees makes a comment like that and it takes you a week to take disciplinary action? At this rate, that pothole isn't going to be fixed until 2666.

      1. Serolf_Divad

        …and by the time they came for me, there were no misogynistic anti-social psychopaths left to speak up.

          1. MittBorg

            Hey, pretty lady! (Hugs the girl) It's cold and rainy and freezy out here and I am Resting My Arm. It's actually feeling a bit better. And how you?

          2. starfanglednut

            Your wing still hurts? Make sure to eat plenty of seeds, and no flying for a week. I'm good. I wrote an essay that won a scholarship! Oh and my tmj is acting up. Ain't getting old grand?

          3. MittBorg

            Yeah, it's pretty inflamed. can't really raise arm above shoulder. Tore the rotator cuff some years ago, and periodically the injury gets inflamed. Seeds, eh? Got that.

            Congrats on your scholarship! If you were here, I'd give you a jaw and neck massage to celebrate. Consider yourself virtually massaged, and given congratulatory hugs!

    1. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Hopefully, most right-wing media centers will agree that his resignation was smart, even if it means he was being a pussy.

        1. Callyson

          No, they'll mention it and then say that Democrats are hypocrites because Maher/"never worked a day in her life"/whatever other person with no power over policymaking said something remotely insulting to a conservative female has not resigned. Enough with those double standards, libtards!

        2. Serolf_Divad

          Only if they can't find some Democratic spokesperson who said the same thing about Republican legislators. If they do then they'll mention them both, just to show that "both sides do it."

    2. Mittens Howell, III

      Let whoever hasn't splashed a little acid in someone's face throw the first vial of acid.

      Hang on a minute …

  1. Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Let this fuck go. He's full of bluster and bullshit, and we know this because it would take balls to assault a woman like that.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development. disenfranchising minorities, taking away women's control over their bodies, and overfunding the defense industry.”
    Fixed that for you, Nan.

    1. MosesInvests

      Could we stop calling it the *defense* industry already? It's the military industry, or the war machine. There is damn little about it that's related to defense.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        I used to tell people that I work for Death From Above Directorate of the Department of Aggression, especially when Rumsfeld was my boss.

  3. noodlesalad

    I hear Herman Cain is looking for a hilarious side-kick for his new radio programme. And by hilarious I mean mind-wrenchingly misogynistic.

      1. MittBorg

        I can't even tell which one it is, anymore,but some fine upstanding young scion of one of our ruling families apparently spent quite a bit of time buggering young boys and was never investigated or punished. Was it in AZ?

  4. BarackMyWorld

    “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.”

    Let's also be sure to talk about how one of these three things doesn't help the other two. Her statement is yet another fine example of "Obama hasn't done enough to help the economy that the government shouldn't interfere in!" logic.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Well, this muted statement is a relief compared to the Acid Libel video she was prepared to share online.

      1. emmelemm

        At first I was like "What?" and then I was like "Oh."

        It is a good one, I'm just dumb.

  5. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Rep. Nan Hayworth went on to say "Let's leave this rhetoric behind, get out there, rape those bitches, and shove coat hangers up their lady parts!"

  6. pinkocommi

    The acid-hurling comment poignantly reveals how close the Republitard Party is to the Taliban.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      Fighting terrorism over there so that it can be practiced by inept Republican political spokespersons over here.

  7. ttommyunger

    Are you Blue, Jay? You look more like Woody Woodpecker. Could this motherfucker be any whiter? I think not.

  8. Come here a minute

    Nan Hayworth needs to find a female spokesman who will advocate throwing acid on lady Senators.

          1. BigSkullF*ckingDog

            I'm actually wearing titanium toed boots right now. Because I'm a massive lesbian.

          2. BigSkullF*ckingDog

            Aw, now I'm blushing. But don't worry, I'll be gentle with you. BTW I am much better looking than Jay "massive lesbian" Townsend. But we might want to hurry because I will probably be banned from here after I show up at Jim's in my boots.

          3. MittBorg

            Well, then, honey bunches o' girl, get your ass over to Newell's tout-suite, then! Srsly, that sounds SO fucking butch. I love my butch girls so.

          4. BigSkullF*ckingDog

            As far as Newell is concerned I am a 300lb former weightlifting world champion and expert skullfucker.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      I try to keep it PC as possible and refer to us/them as gentlemanfags and ladyfags.

    2. widestanceromance

      Did he lift this alt-text from a Breitbart site or what?!?

      And after an hour, it's still up. . .FTW?

    3. emmelemm

      Oy, honestly, I wasn't trying to throw shade directly at Newell. Just pointing out that the lesbians don't want this cretin either.

      1. MittBorg

        What's a little shade between friends?

        That alt-text comment is not funny, it's offensive and silly and pointless. It must go.

          1. MittBorg

            Now, now, Booj. As a student of rhetoric, you know quite well that that was not what I said. I never said offensive and silly and pointless are no longer funny. I said THIS alt-text comment was not funny. And also that it was offensive, silly, and pointless, of course.

          2. Boojum

            Didjew jist call me a communist, sayin' I was capable of lurnin' and studyin' 'n such? And who is this rhetoric guy, anyway? Is HE one of them lebanese women, too?

          3. MittBorg

            Lebanese? I'll have to use that as my next Euphemism-of-Choice. Nothing like arguing hairsplitting with a lawyer, my friend.

          4. Boojum

            I had a prospective juror use that once, in explaining why he distrusted corporate HR and would probably not be good to the other side. He started talking about how they gave special treatment to the lebanese women. When the judge realized what he meant, he nearly broke something trying not to laugh.

          5. MittBorg

            I don't think I could manage that. I'd end up laughing my ass off and have to be forcibly dragged off the bench.

            I'm sure you heard our dear Dok StrangeZoom's story about the assburgers? If not, you have a treat in store.

        1. Jim Newell

          Alright, I'll change it, because I'm a nice person, but let it be known that it is a sad day when Wonkette can no longer call people lesbians arbitrarily, for no reason.

          1. MittBorg

            Aw, c'mon, Jim, you can ALWAYS call people lesbians arbitrarily for no reason or any reason at all. You just can't call *this* asshole a massive lesbian, 'cause the Lesbo Laydeez of Wonketz already said they don't want him. They got rights too.

            Besides, you wanna complain, take it up with the Editrix. She's the one who made this a Mommyblog and made us all promise to stop calling certain speshul people Speshul and stuff. If we have to behave, then you do too.

          2. MittBorg

            I don't get the train reference, so I'll just smile and nod a lot, like I usually do when I can't hear what other people are saying.

          3. emmelemm

            Gold stars sewn on clothing, trains, Zyklon B…. btw, I'm not even Jewish.

            I SAID I WAS KIDDING. Plus, I just Godwined myself, didn't I?

          4. MittBorg

            Oy, gevalt, oy vey is mir, and I should have picked that up immediately. Normally, my radar is supersensitive on behalf of any oppressed people.

            (Hugs emm) It's OK. You did say you were just kidding. I'm thick as two short bricks today. I blame it on the weather and also pain meds.

          5. emmelemm

            Replying to poor, forgotten thread, but: If you'd said you were putting a gold foil star sticker next to my name up on the blackboard, that would be one thing. But you're pinning it right on me? "What is this, I don't even…"


          6. MittBorg

            Well, now, see, CRE_ature has this thing about handing out gold stars to people that s/he thinks are particularly witty or funny, and I (clumsily) trid to do the same, thinking, Oh, emmelemm is being so clever/witty/funny! I shall reward him/her with a Gold Star! Only to have it turn into some horrible debacle of a thing with Nazis and stuff, ya know?

  9. Sassomatic

    Why do the ladies have to get so upset about this kind of thing? "Hurl acid" is just a quaint euphemism "treat them as property."

  10. Neoyorquino

    10 months of looking for PR/communications employment, just for me to see fucktards like this guy in a position of responsibility. While it doesn't make me any more employed to see him out on his ass, the schadenfreude is a beautiful thing.

  11. BaldarTFlagass

    I thought Jay Townsend was that black guy that made the funny noises in some bad comedy movies and Isuzu ads or whatever back in the 90s.

  12. owhatever

    “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, spending restraint and economic development.”

    No, let's talk about your former staff member who urged your supporters to throw acid the faces of women who have another political point of view. That's kind of important, as is why you did not fire him immediately rather than allowing him resign.

    1. NorthStarSpanx

      Gosh, there you go, looking back again and being distracted by sentiments expressing core values of my base. . .Acid Libel Nan Hayworth

  13. Serolf_Divad

    What do you wanna bet 6 months from now, detectives bust into his hideout just as he's leaning over a pit yelling to the woman at the bottom "It puts the lotion on its face!"

  14. Chichikovovich

    “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families: job creation, …”

    Very good. And perhaps we can discuss the fact that after repeating "Jobs, Jobs Jobs" like trained walruses right up until November 2010, the Republicans in the house have done absolutely zip, zero, nada, to create jobs since taking over. Including you, Rep. Hayworth.

    1. fuflans

      i said this elsewhere, but did you hear boehner last week.after that ridiculous 'gender anti abortion bill' was defeated?

      he actually said 'we're very concerned about jobs and job creation and the economy BUT there are other pressing issues americans are worried about."

      yes there certainly are. but it sure as hell isn't sex selection in the provision of abortions.

      course non of this will stop us electing these asshats again.

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    No no no, he meant lysergic acid, because he wants them Democrat ladies to be trippin'.

    1. Boojum

      I thought he meant deoxyribonucleic acid. I mean, it's done in all of his porn and the ladies love it!

  16. qwerty42

    Yeah. He's going to get a job in the private sector. So he can threaten his co-workers. Maybe he'll be in the PR dept, because if there is any place you want people suggesting acid throwing it is in the PR dept. I mean, look at all the attention he got for his candidate this way.

      1. qwerty42

        Maybe he could go into IT? They always talk about "executing", "bombs", "blew up", and such. A very violent world.

        1. MittBorg

          Listen, I once worked in a company where our UNIX sysadmins seemed to be all these Ted Kaczynski-type dudes with full beards, Birks, and a surprising collection of guns.

  17. Estproph

    “Now let’s return to talking about issues that really matter to families:"

    Like throwing women down the stairs and punching them in the gut.

  18. UnholyMoses

    Maybe when he said "acid" he means "LSD." That way, all the women with some self respect and IQs above … oh, say, toejam, would be trippin' balls* to the point they'd actually vote GOP.

    It makes perfect sense!

    (* Metaphorically speaking, natch.)

  19. widestanceromance

    He has received a calling to form the Acme Job Company, so those jobs should be rolling off the assembly line any day now. . .

  20. valthemus

    What do you wanna bet this joker gets hired back as an "independent consultant"? Gotta keep those doors revolving if you want to own instead of just rent a place in the Hamptons.

  21. LagunaB

    As a white women, I have experienced an insidious pernicious assault by white men over the last couple of months. And this last weekend put me over the top in terms of putting up with this shit. So my new rule is, guys have 30 seconds to be decent humidoids. If they start with their crap – I hit them or whatever deems appropriate. Yeah, I am done with this shit.

      1. LagunaB

        Spring is my busy time. Summer should be. Except. For a certain asshole not this one coming up. Was driving south on the autobahn (95 between DC and Richmond) 4 hours into a 12 hour drive and was rear ended going 80. VA is conseal-carry laws so I was *nice*. No damage. Got to fitness convention and was verbally attacked by union drayage personage about Nancy Pelosie. WTF? Why? Because I had a tee shirt that said California Surf Company. Also too, an Obama 2012 on my car which I had forgotten about. Done. Done. Done. I know, I know, I know. But in my own defense my job is forecasting the trends that are happening to ascertain buying patterns to plan production needs. So. I am hype aware. I have to plan a year in advance to get the product in the stores.
        You back in the US?

        1. MittBorg

          Yup, been back a few weeks now. Nice to see you and catch up, take it easy out there, we need ALL our good people to hang on as long as they can.

          1. LagunaB

            I got a case of Casa Sanchez chips and Gaffeo's coffee sent to me at Xmas. But. The real SF foods. I am dying for. My sister has Coast Roast Organic coffee in Tomales. And I can get Peets. But nothing beats SF, except for maybe Paris or Istanbul for fresh great food.

          2. MittBorg

            True dat. I ran into a fellow Californian in Ozland while I was complaining about the state of the shitty produce. I was saying something about how the next time I heard someone complain about "Messcans" or "illegal immigrants" I would stick a zucchini up their ass and tell them they should thank a migrant worker that it was so clean and healthy and not-spiny, when this cute young guy looked over at me and said, "Oh, yeah, we're spoiled to hell and back in CA.," and we talked about the wonderful farmers' markets and groceries and restaurants.

            Damn, we're spoiled.

  22. Generation[redacted]

    If you like this, you'll love the new "Acid-Burned Women for Hayworth" web site.

  23. OneYieldRegular

    I can wait to hear what Rush Limbaugh has to say about this. The whole world can wait.

  24. OldWhiteLies

    OK. I didn't say this the first time this karacter showed up on the Wonkettes, but after seeing the pic twice now …

    Tell me that this guy doesn't look like the human equivilent to an "aging enhanced" pic of Howdy Doody? Just K R E E P Y.

    Right then. As you were …

  25. a_pink_poodle

    I'm disappointed on Rep. Nan Hayworth's lack of leadership on the important issue of acid throwing rights.

  26. JustPixelz

    Throw acid on female legislators, throw women's health care under the bus, it's all in a day's work for Nan — one of today's Repubican Go-Getter-Gals.

  27. Boojum

    DNA is an acid. I think he just wanted to spread a little love (juice).

    OK, now I will vomit.

  28. starfanglednut

    Funny how they want to concentrate on jerbs when a social issue bites them in the ass, and on social issues whenever anybody expects them to actually create jobs.

  29. lulzmonger

    "Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who won’t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector"

    Vitriolic remark is vitriolic.

  30. fuflans

    speaking as – until recently – a long term unemployed female american, i wish jay all the best in his job search and hope he enjoys his massively reduced unemployment benefits.

  31. bamaguy1024

    Why is it that GOP lunatics constantly use references to violence, like Sarah Palin's infamous gunsites targeting Democrats, and Ted Nugent suggesting use of guns to solve political problems and now this incredible ugly suggestion that GOP members throw battery acid on Democratic opponents, OMFG what is happening here?!

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