It’s that time of year again, when the Global Illuminati Powerful Rich Folk gather in secret, to hide their secrets and drink dragon blood and eat gold cookies at the Bilderberg Conference. It is a very closed affair and no one in the mainstream media covers it, because everyone in the media is a pussy. Your Wonkette doesn’t cover it either — although we were thinking about getting drunk and vomiting in the Bilderberg driveway this year, should we ever bother to get up from our vomit pool of a couch — but we do acknowledge its existence and make wild claims about it for shits and giggles. Did you know that this year, Bilderberger Elite want to enslave the human race even more than usual? It is Topic Number One on the Agenda. It is true.

Where is Bilderberg held this year?

At the swankiest palace known to mankind, “a Virginia hotel near Dulles International Airport.”

What will they discuss?

Global domination and enslavement of the masses. FWIW, here is the Bilderberg Group’s official history of itself. It is all lies, maybe:

Bilderberg takes its name from the hotel in Holland, where the first meeting took place in May 1954. That pioneering meeting grew out of the concern expressed by leading citizens on both sides of the Atlantic that Western Europe and North America were not working together as closely as they should on common problems of critical importance. It was felt that regular, off-the-record discussions would help create a better understanding of the complex forces and major trends affecting Western nations in the difficult post-war period.

The Cold War has now ended. But in practically all respects there are more, not fewer, common problems – from trade to jobs, from monetary policy to investment, from ecological challenges to the task of promoting international security. It is hard to think of any major issue in either Europe or North America whose unilateral solution would not have repercussions for the other.

Thus the concept of a European-American forum has not been overtaken by time. The dialogue between these two regions is still – even increasingly – critical.

Who will be there?

Let’s just copy-paste the whole goddamn list, eh? There is one name that stands out, which we have emphasized for you.

Final List of Participants

FRA Castries, Henri de Chairman and CEO, AXA Group
DEU Ackermann, Josef Chairman of the Management Board and the Group Executive Committee, Deutsche Bank AG
GBR Agius, Marcus Chairman, Barclays plc
USA Ajami, Fouad Senior Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford University
USA Alexander, Keith B. Commander, US Cyber Command; Director, National Security Agency
INT Almunia, Joaquín Vice-President – Commissioner for Competition, European Commission
USA Altman, Roger C. Chairman, Evercore Partners
PRT Amado, Luís Chairman, Banco Internacional do Funchal (BANIF)
NOR Andresen, Johan H. Owner and CEO, FERD
FIN Apunen, Matti Director, Finnish Business and Policy Forum EVA
TUR Babacan, Ali Deputy Prime Minister for Economic and Financial Affairs
PRT Balsemão, Francisco Pinto President and CEO, Impresa; Former Prime Minister
FRA Baverez, Nicolas Partner, Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher LLP
FRA Béchu, Christophe Senator, and Chairman, General Council of Maine-et-Loire
BEL Belgium, H.R.H. Prince Philippe of
TUR Berberoğlu, Enis Editor-in-Chief, Hürriyet Newspaper
ITA Bernabè, Franco Chairman and CEO, Telecom Italia
GBR Boles, Nick Member of Parliament
SWE Bonnier, Jonas President and CEO, Bonnier AB
NOR Brandtzæg, Svein Richard President and CEO, Norsk Hydro ASA
AUT Bronner, Oscar Publisher, Der Standard Medienwelt
SWE Carlsson, Gunilla Minister for International Development Cooperation
CAN Carney, Mark J. Governor, Bank of Canada
ESP Cebrián, Juan Luis CEO, PRISA; Chairman, El País
AUT Cernko, Willibald CEO, UniCredit Bank Austria AG
FRA Chalendar, Pierre André de Chairman and CEO, Saint-Gobain
DNK Christiansen, Jeppe CEO, Maj Invest
RUS Chubais, Anatoly B. CEO, OJSC RUSNANO
CAN Clark, W. Edmund Group President and CEO, TD Bank Group
GBR Clarke, Kenneth Member of Parliament, Lord Chancellor and Secretary of Justice
USA Collins, Timothy C. CEO and Senior Managing Director, Ripplewood Holdings, LLC
ITA Conti, Fulvio CEO and General Manager, Enel S.p.A.
USA Daniels, Jr., Mitchell E. Governor of Indiana
USA DeMuth, Christopher Distinguished Fellow, Hudson Institute
USA Donilon, Thomas E. National Security Advisor, The White House
GBR Dudley, Robert Group Chief Executive, BP plc
ITA Elkann, John Chairman, Fiat S.p.A.
DEU Enders, Thomas CEO, Airbus
USA Evans, J. Michael Vice Chairman, Global Head of Growth Markets, Goldman Sachs & Co.
AUT Faymann, Werner Federal Chancellor
DNK Federspiel, Ulrik Executive Vice President, Haldor Topsøe A/S
USA Ferguson, Niall Laurence A. Tisch Professor of History, Harvard University
GBR Flint, Douglas J. Group Chairman, HSBC Holdings plc
CHN Fu, Ying Vice Minister of Foreign Affairs
IRL Gallagher, Paul Former Attorney General; Senior Counsel
USA Gephardt, Richard A. President and CEO, Gephardt Group
GRC Giannitsis, Anastasios Former Minister of Interior; Professor of Development and International Economics, University of Athens
USA Goolsbee, Austan D. Professor of Economics, University of Chicago Booth School of Business
USA Graham, Donald E. Chairman and CEO, The Washington Post Company
ITA Gruber, Lilli Journalist – Anchorwoman, La 7 TV
INT Gucht, Karel de Commissioner for Trade, European Commission
NLD Halberstadt, Victor Professor of Economics, Leiden University; Former Honorary Secretary General of Bilderberg Meetings
USA Harris, Britt CIO, Teacher Retirement System of Texas
USA Hoffman, Reid Co-founder and Executive Chairman, LinkedIn
CHN Huang, Yiping Professor of Economics, China Center for Economic Research, Peking University
USA Huntsman, Jr., Jon M. Chairman, Huntsman Cancer Foundation
DEU Ischinger, Wolfgang Chairman, Munich Security Conference; Global Head Government Relations, Allianz SE
RUS Ivanov, Igor S. Associate member, Russian Academy of Science; President, Russian International Affairs Council
FRA Izraelewicz, Erik CEO, Le Monde
USA Jacobs, Kenneth M. Chairman and CEO, Lazard
USA Johnson, James A. Vice Chairman, Perseus, LLC
USA Jordan, Jr., Vernon E. Senior Managing Director, Lazard
USA Karp, Alexander CEO, Palantir Technologies
USA Karsner, Alexander Executive Chairman, Manifest Energy, Inc
FRA Karvar, Anousheh Inspector, Inter-ministerial Audit and Evaluation Office for Social, Health, Employment and Labor Policies
RUS Kasparov, Garry Chairman, United Civil Front (of Russia)
GBR Kerr, John Independent Member, House of Lords
USA Kerry, John Senator for Massachusetts
TUR Keyman, E. Fuat Director, Istanbul Policy Center and Professor of International Relations, Sabanci University
USA Kissinger, Henry A. Chairman, Kissinger Associates, Inc.
USA Kleinfeld, Klaus Chairman and CEO, Alcoa
TUR Koç, Mustafa Chairman, Koç Holding A.Ş.
DEU Koch, Roland CEO, Bilfinger Berger SE
INT Kodmani, Bassma Member of the Executive Bureau and Head of Foreign Affairs, Syrian National Council
USA Kravis, Henry R. Co-Chairman and Co-CEO, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.
USA Kravis, Marie-Josée Senior Fellow, Hudson Institute
INT Kroes, Neelie Vice President, European Commission; Commissioner for Digital Agenda
USA Krupp, Fred President, Environmental Defense Fund
INT Lamy, Pascal Director-General, World Trade Organization
ITA Letta, Enrico Deputy Leader, Democratic Party (PD)
ISR Levite, Ariel E. Nonresident Senior Associate, Carnegie Endowment for International Peace
USA Li, Cheng Director of Research and Senior Fellow, John L. Thornton China Center, Brookings Institution
USA Lipsky, John Distinguished Visiting Scholar, Johns Hopkins University
USA Liveris, Andrew N. President, Chairman and CEO, The Dow Chemical Company
DEU Löscher, Peter President and CEO, Siemens AG
USA Lynn, William J. Chairman and CEO, DRS Technologies, Inc.
GBR Mandelson, Peter Member, House of Lords; Chairman, Global Counsel
USA Mathews, Jessica T. President, Carnegie Endowment for International Peace
DEN Mchangama, Jacob Director of Legal Affairs, Center for Political Studies (CEPOS)
CAN McKenna, Frank Deputy Chair, TD Bank Group
USA Mehlman, Kenneth B. Partner, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.
GBR Micklethwait, John Editor-in-Chief, The Economist
FRA Montbrial, Thierry de President, French Institute for International Relations
PRT Moreira da Silva, Jorge First Vice-President, Partido Social Democrata (PSD)
USA Mundie, Craig J. Chief Research and Strategy Officer, Microsoft Corporation
DEU Nass, Matthias Chief International Correspondent, Die Zeit
NLD Netherlands, H.M. the Queen of the
ESP Nin Génova, Juan María Deputy Chairman and CEO, Caixabank
IRL Noonan, Michael Minister for Finance
USA Noonan, Peggy Author, Columnist, The Wall Street Journal
FIN Ollila, Jorma Chairman, Royal Dutch Shell, plc
USA Orszag, Peter R. Vice Chairman, Citigroup
GRC Papalexopoulos, Dimitri Managing Director, Titan Cement Co.
NLD Pechtold, Alexander Parliamentary Leader, Democrats ’66 (D66)
USA Perle, Richard N. Resident Fellow, American Enterprise Institute
NLD Polman, Paul CEO, Unilever PLC
CAN Prichard, J. Robert S. Chair, Torys LLP
ISR Rabinovich, Itamar Global Distinguished Professor, New York University
GBR Rachman, Gideon Chief Foreign Affairs Commentator, The Financial Times
USA Rattner, Steven Chairman, Willett Advisors LLC
CAN Redford, Alison M. Premier of Alberta
CAN Reisman, Heather M. CEO, Indigo Books & Music Inc.
DEU Reitzle, Wolfgang CEO & President, Linde AG
USA Rogoff, Kenneth S. Professor of Economics, Harvard University
USA Rose, Charlie Executive Editor and Anchor, Charlie Rose
USA Ross, Dennis B. Counselor, Washington Institute for Near East Policy
POL Rostowski, Jacek Minister of Finance
USA Rubin, Robert E. Co-Chair, Council on Foreign Relations; Former Secretary of the Treasury
NLD Rutte, Mark Prime Minister
ESP Sáenz de Santamaría Antón, Soraya Vice President and Minister for the Presidency
NLD Scheffer, Paul Professor of European Studies, Tilburg University
USA Schmidt, Eric E. Executive Chairman, Google Inc.
AUT Scholten, Rudolf Member of the Board of Executive Directors, Oesterreichische Kontrollbank AG
FRA Senard, Jean-Dominique CEO, Michelin Group
USA Shambaugh, David Director, China Policy Program, George Washington University
INT Sheeran, Josette Vice Chairman, World Economic Forum
FIN Siilasmaa, Risto Chairman of the Board of Directors, Nokia Corporation
USA Speyer, Jerry I. Chairman and Co-CEO, Tishman Speyer
CHE Supino, Pietro Chairman and Publisher, Tamedia AG
IRL Sutherland, Peter D. Chairman, Goldman Sachs International
USA Thiel, Peter A. President, Clarium Capital / Thiel Capital
TUR Timuray, Serpil CEO, Vodafone Turkey
DEU Trittin, Jürgen Parliamentary Leader, Alliance 90/The Greens
GRC Tsoukalis, Loukas President, Hellenic Foundation for European and Foreign Policy
FIN Urpilainen, Jutta Minister of Finance
CHE Vasella, Daniel L. Chairman, Novartis AG
INT Vimont, Pierre Executive Secretary General, European External Action Service
GBR Voser, Peter CEO, Royal Dutch Shell plc
SWE Wallenberg, Jacob Chairman, Investor AB
USA Warsh, Kevin Distinguished Visiting Fellow, The Hoover Institution, Stanford University
GBR Wolf, Martin H. Chief Economics Commentator, The Financial Times
USA Wolfensohn, James D. Chairman and CEO, Wolfensohn and Company
CAN Wright, Nigel S. Chief of Staff, Office of the Prime Minister
USA Yergin, Daniel Chairman, IHS Cambridge Energy Research Associates
INT Zoellick, Robert B. President, The World Bank Group

What is Peggy Noonan plotting?

Global domination and enslavement of the masses.

Who should we root for in this video of a Daily Caller jerk harassing insane annual protestor Alex Jones — the Daily Caller jerk or Alex Jones?

Alex Jones, we guess? Let’s go with “Alex Jones,” ugh.

How hilariously anti-Semitic are some of the Bilderberg conspiracy nuts?

Pretty hilariously anti-Semitic.

Where else can I read up about Bilderberg 2012?

This HuffPo thing is pretty good.

Should we be scared?

Always, about everything. They want to kill you and harvest your face for Ameros.

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  • Barb

    Virginia is For Lovers (of evil)

    • DustBowlBlues

      Again! How are you always first? I have a bad feeling that twitter is somehow involved in this.

    • MrFizzy

      Yeah, have mercy on us poor slobs who work and can check wonkette only 125 times every hour.

    • MrFizzy

      Also, as the putative queen of the wonkers you may be able to tell me what the hell does a boy have to do to get the pee score to go up? I have been stuck on this goddamn 110 for months. Up or down, I don't care, I'm just bloody bored with 110.

      • Barb

        I gave you a p-point. I hope it helps.

      • Well, it involves a gimp suit and ballgag…

        Like you, I was a lowly 100er, stuck and morassed in the 100s forever, but then I discovered the secret, which I reveal in my new book "How To Have A Large P-ness"

        Only $99.95 from Regnery Books but if you act now, I'll toss in Ann Coulter's last three books to help you balance that table that wobbles.

      • Rotundo_

        I think I've Pee-ked at 108, at least the Breitbart dirtbags can't hammer us into the ground. Maybe Intense Debate has just said piss on pee points let's just let them coast.

        • I got pee'd up once this week already. I think there's a quota because, you know, soshalism

          • MrFizzy

            So thanks for robbing me of a chance to break into the rarefied 111 atmosphere. I probably wouldn't have handled it well anyway.

      • Boojum

        You have to play with your p-ness.

    • I read that as "Vagina is For Lovers" and couldn't understand WHY you thought that was evil.

      • Barb

        No, real evil is the "twat" and the "fingering" reference to me above.

        • SorosBot

          There are times I miss the downfist.

          • I'd have negative pee.

          • I wish you wouldn't deliberately try to antagonize Barb. It's not the first time it's happened, and it comes on the heels of a bunch of unpleasant stuff, and it almost seems deliberate. I've known you for years, from Sadly, No!, and don't remember you ever being this hostile to anyone.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          I hear you on that Barb. In a previous post to Miss Taken, I hope my comment was not Missunderstood. I respect the lot…here.

          • Barb

            I'm gonna shake it off, guys-thanks!
            Got me some bisketti and some meat bulbs simmering and it's Friday and I'm in love!

          • Boojum

            See, this is why you are uniformly hated, with surveyors marks and votes, I mean.


            (You do know these are JOKES, funny ones, like saying that Halfrican Muslin is planting a watermelon patch, right?)

          • Barb

            Boojum, now I am craving watermelon.

          • Fare la Volpe

            I got a fat melon in the fridge with my father's name on it. He won't notice if I take just a little bit…

            Also my phone tried to auto correct my post to "I got a fat merlin in the fudge." Interpret as you will.

          • Barb

            Fare, I want to be that gal who has the ballz to start returning watermelons that suck.

            As you know, the the south you can pull out a knife and pull a plug out and test the melon. I bring home watermelons and they turn out to be nasty and unripe.

          • Meat … bulbs? WTF are meat BULBS?????

          • Barb

            It's what my daughter called "meatballs"

          • Thank you. I was walking around all of yesterday wondering what the fuck these meat BULBS were. My partner's family does horrible things to food. One of the more memorable ones was what they called a "weenie roast." A beautiful hunk of beef roasted to a dismal grayness, and stuck throughout with little Vienna cocktail sausages. Not just horrifying to LOOK at, but even MORE horrifying to EAT.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          Barb, since I used the twat reference, no offence toward you was meant. Just normal juvenile Wonkette humor, along with my hatred of Twitter.

          Anyway, as you know, I'm sure you are just a sentient program on the internet. I have yet to see any proof otherwise, and find comfort in that belief.

          • Barb

            Love ya Lionel. I have a new conflict above, lol.

  • nounverb911

    Will this be anything like Wannsee Conference?

    • Depends.

      What did you Wannsee?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Except this time the Jews are planning on enslaving the world. And, really, shouldn't they be given a chance finally?

    • TribecaMike

      Only if Kenneth Branagh shows up.

    • Geminisunmars

      There will be a lot of the same attendees.

  • Schmannnity

    If Mitch Daniels is there, it couldn't be all that.

  • SmutBoffin

    Blink tag = real journalism. The end.

  • Peggy Noonerton got caught picking her Bilderboogers? Well I hope she was being dainty and just using her pinkie, and not her Johnny Cash finger.

    • I'm'a start calling that my Johnny Cash finger from now on.

  • I'm holding out for "Daily Caller jerk harassing Dame Peggington Nooningshire," so I can root for (gotta see this one coming a mile away) "None of them, Katie!"

    • Also, by highlighting Her Nooningness you almost made me miss Austan "Commie Socialist" Goolsbee and Henry "Cambodian War Criminal" Kissinger.

      Given the location, what are the odds they'll take the Enola Gay out for a spin? Good times!

  • elburritodeluxe

    This is like TED with think tank assholes instead of rich assholes.

  • nounverb911

    Has Noonan always been that twitchy?

    • Fare la Volpe

      Since Prohibition ended.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I guess i would prefer the Robots as the new masters of the human race and I don't mean the Mittbot.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    "Always, about everything. They want to kill you and harvest your face for Ameros".

    I will show them. Just this second I am beginning my decade long scrunch face of doom.

    • Jokes on you. Bilderbergers LOVE scrunch face, and pay high Amero for it.

  • FNMA

    Noonan? We're going to need more vodka. And gin. And Xanax.

    • anniegetyerfun

      I would seriously love to hang out with that lady for a couple of hazy days.

  • Blofeld :"Number 11"
    Number 11 : "Collapse of Euro– $6,300,000,000 collected by number 9 and myself"
    Blofeld : "$6,300,000,000? Our expectations were considerably higher, number 11"
    Number 11 : "Competition from the fucksticks of JP Morgan. Everyone's betting down"
    Blofeld : "I anticipated that factor. Are you quite sure all monies have been accounted for by yourself and number 9?"
    Number 11 : "To the penny number 1"
    Blofeld : "On the contrary, I have satisfied myself, that one of you is clearly guilty of embezzlement. Bilderberg is a dedicated fraternity, whose strength lies in the absolute integrity of its members dedicated to fucking everyone else over not it's members. The culprit is known to me. I have decided on the appropriate action"
    (electrocutes number 9)

    • Number Nine … Number Nine … Number Nine … Number Nine …

      • Fare la Volpe


    • Dashboard_Jesus

      excellent but where did you get that?

  • MissTaken

    I stayed at the Bilderberg Hotel while working in Amsterdam. I still have the pen from my room. That and a strap-on will get me inside this meeting.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      How big is the pen?

      • MissTaken

        I cannot answer that. You can only ask "Is it bigger than a breadbox?".

        • Jus_Wonderin

          Oh, pleez say we are not discussing the pen anymore. :)

          • I dunno, but if her box is bigger than a loaf of bread, 'Bot's gonna need some help

    • Just to be on teh safe side, bring whips, chains, furry handcuffs and other restraints …

    • anniegetyerfun

      Don't forget your golden mask!

  • Ryy

    Obama is a secret Mooslem who hates the Jews and especially Israel and wants Iran to destroy them. Also, he is a secret plant of the Jew controlled Bildebergs who he will be secretly meeting at the conference to design the final end of Europe and the next step, taking over the US.

    Obama is arragont and stupid, but he is also subtle and clever.

    • How else, but through a conspiracy of breathtaking scope and cunning, can he overcome his complete inability to achieve by legitimate means?

    • George Skullfry

      Sounds like religion, don't it?

  • coolhandnuke

    In a related story, the Hindenburg Group is meeting in Lakehurst, NJ this weekend. The town is bracing itself for an influx of Paultards, potheads, and cluelessness.

    • nounverb911

      Is Newt the keynote speaker?

      • coolhandnuke

        He is shaped liked a dirigible, full of hot air, highly combustible, his speeches sound better in German and his undies reek of saurkraut.
        But no, he will not be delivering an oration…Callista is getting her beak trimmed and her talons extended that weekend.

    • anniegetyerfun

      But you repeat yourself.

  • MrFizzy

    I went to a Build a Bear conference recently. Not as much stuffing.

  • I hope they're planning some crazy 'for the good of all mankind' type of thing. We could use something like that instead of being taken advantage of while we're down.

  • edgydrifter

    The Bilderbergs seemed a lot more Bond villain-ish before I knew the CEO of Vodafone Turkey and Charlie Rose were in the club.

  • chascates

    I bet the Bilderberg Group could kick the Trilateral Commission's ass.

    • Not without help from the Illuminati.

    • Puleez.

      They do that every year at the Bohemian Grove, which despite its name is not a quaint little beer garden in Williamsburg, Brooklyn

    • Generation[redacted]

      You've been following the intramurals. Don't count out the Tri-Lambdas just yet.

      • Yea, wait til the music competition.

        • TribecaMike

          Hopefully, it'll be more entertaining than this year's Eurovision Song Contest, and with many less Swedes.

    • Fare la Volpe

      The Trilat's were the inter-church dodgeball champs three years running. That's some tough competition.

      • new_pic_for_NEWTer

        That's because if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. True dat.

  • Callyson

    Jesus, first that crackpot in PA and now this. Am positively ashamed of being "European American" now (and who the fuck calls themselves that, besides racist idiots? Who gives a fuck about being "European," as opposed to being Irish or Italian or whatever…)

    Can I become an honorary Latino or Black person now? Pretty please?

    • CindynEncinitas

      Get your DNA done. Then you can be R1b. We rule.

    • Default American.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    What is Peggy Noonan plotting, you ask?

    Well, as near as I can tell from having carefully not looked at the list at all, Dame Peggy is the only woman in attendance.

    Perhaps the inaugural running of the Noonington 500?

    • TribecaMike

      It's not a true conspiracy of the rich if Andrea Mitchell isn't involved.

  • SorosBot

    I'm sure it's much more innocent than all that; these titans of industry probably just get drunk, dance to old disco tunes, and hunt humans for sport.

    • DustBowlBlues

      You have given me a great idea. I have 90 wooded acres, which would be perfect to lease to these people for hunting. Then I'll trick my neighbors into thinking there's a bear in the woods, (shitting, presumably–beat ya' to it) and all the macho freaks will go after it, giving the Globalists some fine targets.

      Bang! Dead Republithug okies littering the roadside. You're welcome.

  • You can't go without an invitation, but they have an awesome webstore for souvenirs – the mugs and tote bags are especially nice.

  • pdiddycornchips

    The hooker budget alone must be enormous

  • DaRooster

    Not a single Sanchez or Ramirez… how many Blah folks will be in attendance?

  • WhatTheHeck

    They let women and non-whites attend?
    WTF. This is not your grandfather’s Bilderburg.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Bilderberg? Sounds Jewish.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well that huge roster is something of a relief — no group that large could run the world in any kind of orderly way, so — oh holy crap — it's true!

  • Goonemeritus

    Really a Westfield’s Marriott is the best they could do, are all the hollowed out volcanoes booked?

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      A winner, we have a winner…

  • You realize that if their first meeting had been in a Holiday Inn, it would be the Holiday Group – not nearly as one-world governmenty and actually kind of fun!

    • DustBowlBlues

      And they would all wear colorful, pointy hats.

  • Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do!
    Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do!
    Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do, we do!
    Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do, we do, we do!'

    • DustBowlBlues

      "Who rigs every Oscar night? "

      So that's how the boat movie beat LA Confidential.

      • Which? "The Pirates Who Don't Do Much"?

        No, it was a better film

  • DustBowlBlues

    It's clear that this is about nothing but maintaining strict adherence to Austerity on both sides of the pond (I can be elitist, just like these dicks) so Nobama will lose the election. Thanks, Globalists. (Using screaming dickwads' term).

  • USA Kerry, John Senator for Massachusetts


    • Check the HuffPo link, that head shot.
      He should have honorary eligibility for Rushmore portrayal rights even if he never does nab the actual presnit prize.

      • BarackMyWorld

        Did he recently get a skin transplant from Edward James Olmos?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Please tell me he's a mole and not there actually representing Heinz corp.

  • Fairtackle

    Hmm, with the proper combination of gin and valium, Noonan's name appears to stop blinking. Interestinnnnnnnnnnnn

  • The big event is the annual multilingual history of world domination bee with the Trilateral Commission.

  • Tommmcattt

    Are there drugs? I'm not going unless they have drugs.

    Can I ride my bike over or does it have to be a limosine?

    • No bike parking. THEN what will you do?

      • Tommmcattt

        What I always do! Hichhike and hope for the best! Think they House of Lords guy has extra space in his Hansom?

        • I'm thinkin' you wouldn't ride with him if he *weren't* Hansom.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Bikes are elitist.

  • "Banded together from remote galaxies are 145 of the most sinister villains of all time… THE LEGION OF DOOM! Dedicated to a single objective… THE CONQUEST OF THE UNIVERSE! Only one group dares challenge this intergalactic threat… THE SUPER FRIENDS!"

  • Baconzgood

    Who will be there?

    People than can buy and sell everyone in your family 50 times.

    • Funny. My mother used to say that. But she meant brains, not money.

      • Baconzgood

        Maybe we're related.

        • Ohgawd, don't even *think* that thought. I was just all liking you so much lately, and stuff, too.

  • How hilariously anti-Semitic are some of the Bilderberg conspiracy nuts?

    Since they're holding this thing at a Marriott I has a confused. When did sporting magic undies become part of keeping kosher?


    "USA Goolsbee, Austan D. Professor of Economics, University of Chicago Booth School of Business"


    • DustBowlBlues

      He's there making the argument against austerity, I hope?

  • USA Mathews, Jessica T. President, Carnegie Endowment

    She seems well-endowed.

  • MissTaken

    GRC Tsoukalis, Loukas President, Hellenic Foundation for European and Foreign Polic

    I initially read that as "Tsoukalous, Georgio" from Ancient Aliens and was not the least bit surprised.

    • Wow. It's like a Rorscach name. I read it as Tsatsiki and got hungry for falafel.

  • RUS Kasparov, Garry Chairman, United Civil Front (of Russia)


    Wasn't he used to be chess championship?

    • Chichikovovich

      Yep. USARogoff, Kenneth S.Professor of Economics, Harvard University
      is a chess grandmaster too. Came second in the US championship in the 70s.

      I guess they want to be ready for all the 11-dimensional chess that might get sprung.

  • MissTaken

    USA Huntsman, Jr., Jon M. Chairman, Huntsman Cancer Foundation

    This name sounds familiar.

    • SorosBot


      • I think he whored out his daughters for no diamonds.

        • Crank_Tango

          Which is exactly how many diamonds I have in my whore budget…

          Also, chem trails.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    World domination is much more interesting if it starts in a beer hall in Munich, or a convention center in Tampa.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I was thinking that there was discrimination when I saw that Romney was not attending, but then I saw that nothing created by IBM was attending.

  • USA Mehlman, Kenneth B. Partner, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co.

    Oh, there'll be a hot time in the old bathhouse tonight!

  • qwerty42

    Whatever will Lady Noonington say?

    • chascates

      That she misses Ronald Reagan. She knew him.

  • FIN Urpilainen, Jutta Minister of Finance

    I say this as a Finn, so I know whereof I speak:

    That is one fucking WEIRD name…

    • Chichikovovich

      That's for sure. Where are all the double k's and n's and l's all the umlauts? Obviously a Swedish mole.

  • He is single-minded, too and keeps his plans close to his chest

    • Ryy

      But also obvious

  • GhostBuggy

    "Bilderberg takes its name from the hotel in Holland, where the first meeting took place in May 1954. That pioneering meeting grew out of the concern expressed by leading citizens on both sides of the Atlantic that Western Europe and North America were not working together as closely as they should on common problems of critical importance."

    Real fucking bang-up job they're doing of it, too. Everything's been so smooth since '54.

  • BornInATrailer

    USA Taitz, Orly, President and CEO, Taitz Legal, Dental and Real Estate Services, Ltd.

    Oh God!

    • TribecaMike

      And licensed Taekwondo instructor! She'll kick the Chinese back into the Ming Dynasty, one shin at a time.

  • Woodshedding

    Yeah, Murdoch bought WSJ some time ago. Amazing that people with any IQ at all continue to read it. Such denial.

  • Its the Bildungsromans and the Brobdingnagians we should be worried about. Very worried.

  • TribecaMike

    For a secret cabal that doesn't want anyone to know what they're up to, we sure know a lot about them.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      That's what I never understood about the alleged government conspiracy to cover up the existence of UFOs/ETs. It can't be a very good cover up if so many seem to know about it.

      • TribecaMike

        I used to naively discount the theory that Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landings until I found out he also faked all of the youtube videos alleging he faked the moon landings. And everyone thinks "The Shining" is weird!

  • Arken

    What I love about people who concoct massive conspiracy theories about the evil New World Order having these super secret meetings like Bilderberg or Bohemian Grove that aren't really secret in any way is that it's 2012 and we have things like cell phones and skype for secret meetings.

  • __kth__

    Also Charlie Rose, lest you thought that Noonan was the only doddering old fool with half her brain eaten away by wine spritzers in attendance.

    • TribecaMike

      Oh great, that means nobody will be able to finish their sentences. He's gotta be a mole.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    So … which one's going to get strapped down to a table with a laser pointed at his crotch?

  • arcadesproject

    I don't know what you think but I think there isn't even a town called Blibberberg anywhere in Virginia. Duh.

  • yrbmegr


    Fouad Ajami?

    Must be a spy.

  • pdiddycornchips

    I didn't have time to read the entire list. Is Bristol going?

    • TribecaMike

      Of course, she's the veep.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      No. But she'll probably get on her twitphone to twit about how she wasn't invited.
      Then Sarah will get on her twitphone to twit about how SHE wasn't invited.

  • TribecaMike

    "And now over to Lilli Gruber, reporting from the LA 7 New World Order Black Chopper 1. What's the traffic situation like, Lilli? Lilli? Hello?"

  • rsynnott

    You know, it never before occurred to me that Michael Noonan, our terrifying ( Minister for Finance, had the same name as Dame Peggy.

    I wish it hadn't occurred to me now.

  • i actually know one of the people on that list.

    i find that terrifying.

    • finallyhappy

      I don't- well, I met Charlie Rose once when he was still just doing local TV-I wanted to fix him up with a friend of mine. It didn't work

  • I heard that each attendee gets a free book: To Serve Man.

  • StealthMuslin

    Have these people never heard of Skype?

  • OKthennext

    Gag. Richard Perle, American Enterprise Institute.

    And how the hell is Henry Kissinger still alive?

    And where are all the women?

  • Dildeaux

    Bilderberger: the threat equivalent of sea bass with frickin flashlights on their heads.

  • Oblios_Cap

    A Chicago School economist and Peggy Noonantonshire. If that's what counts for deep thinkers, we're in deep shit.

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