Everyone, stand at attention right now, for the billionaires have another complaint: Why are we so mean to them when they donate millions of dollars to political causes that we may despise? It is a primitive, mob mentality, practiced by primitives. Why must outspoken donors — because, remember, money is speech! — even be known by the public? It hurts their personal lives, it hurts their businesses. This is what things were like in the Dark Ages, these public humiliations. No, really, one megarich megadonor actually said that.
Politico‘s Ken Vogel has a story about this megadonor mentality, and how they feel unfairly treated when the media and politicians single them out after they’ve written huge checks to partisans in highly charged debates, while everyone else starves. “This is definitely not what they had in mind,” Vogel writes. “In their view, cutting a million-dollar check to try to sway the presidential race should be just another way to do their part for democracy, not a fast-track to the front page.” Yeah, it’s just democracy. Why is it that only hundred-millionaires and billionaires, a few of whom control the entire political debate, appreciate such democracy?
Frank VanderSloot, one of Romney’s chief sugar daddies, has had enough of this:
“This idea of giving public beatings has been around for a long time,” said Frank VanderSloot, a wealthy Idaho businessman who donated $1 million in corporate cash to the super PAC supporting Mitt Romney and says he’s raised between $2 million and $5 million for the Romney campaign.
VanderSloot, who is also a national finance co-chairman for Romney, was among eight major Romney donors singled out on an Obama campaign website last month as having “less-than-reputable records,” and he thinks the purpose is clear – intimidation.
“You go back to the Dark Ages when they put these people in the stocks or whatever they did, or publicly humiliated them as a deterrent to everybody else – watch this – watch what we do to the guy who did this.”
That’s a good point. Why don’t we put these people in the stocks anymore? They’re getting off too easily.
[Politico]
{ 158 comments }
I don't even like my own kids enough to give them a million dollars or more.
You would if that money would guarantee that you would reap millions more in favors some time in the future.
That's blackmail! It's also genius!
No no no….it's not blackmail. Just a favor between friends, family, colleagues, whatever. A simple case of "I scratch your back, you give me title to the entire fucking planet". It's just…business.
But then a million is to these assholes what a hundred bucks is to middle-class people.
A million keeps the utilities company from turning off their power this month?
Those sixteen fountains aren't going to pay for themselves.
I told my kids that I wouldn't buy them a car even if I won the lotto. I want them to experience the pride of making the purchase on their own, with their own money. And I said it with a straight face.
*scuffing toe of shoe and looking down shyly*
batting eyelashes adorably at Barb*
Well…
Is there anyone whom you DO like enough to give them a million dollars?
Say, for example, one of your very nice fellow wonketteers?
*cough*ME*cough*
Also, do you HAVE a million dollars?
Yes, I have a million dollars. I'm pretty sure I have a couple of them.
I can't give a million dollars away. I plan on squandering it on food and fuel.
I just made a salad to serve for dinner. All I had was lettuce, red cabbage, a sorry looking tomato and a tiny cucumber. I'm going to add some fun sized Snickers bars to make it look a little plumper in the salad bowl.
Would you like some salad instead?
*gently pets Barb's head*
nice kitteh.
I appreciate the offer, but in a doomed-to-fail attempt to weigh what I did when I was 20 years younger and smoked a pack a day, I've been eating salad every day for decades; if there's a way to make salad taste like something other than a bowl of leaves, I've probably tried it. Last night's had spinach, celery, carrots, apples, crumbled gorgonzola, garlic, and plain yogurt. If that doesn't appeal to you, you might try spinach, celery, seedless white grapes, slivered almonds, and a raspberry vinaigrette dressing.
Sounds delish!
Forget the stocks, whatever happened to the guillotine?
Perhaps too quick?
Rack, then guillotine?
FUCK YOU , YOU FUCKING FUCK!!
VanDerSloot? Really?
Rachel has been taking him on. Quite a bit of nasty work, is ole' Vanny.
Glenn Greenwald took a bite out of him a couple months ago as well. Uncle Frank doesn't like it when he can't crush anyone people who tell the truth about him.
Yep. Another VanDerSloot rapist murderer.
Didn't he play Dawson?
Frankie's name means from the ditch in Dutch. How apropos, too, also.
VandersLoot more likely
Sure, just because the only Super PAC they had during the Dark Ages was the Catholic Church….
E nomeni Patri et Fili et Spiritus Corprate.
Corporations have souls too. Mas, all chained to their work stations.
Well, in fairness…. no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Our chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. And a billion dollars in anonymous political donations.
Forget the damn stocks, how about trial by fire? Trial by water would pollute the stream.
i have always thought auto da fe was a very handy tool for changing minds.
Jebus, these assholes. Are there no prisons, fer fucks sake?
Yes. Mitt has a couple of friends who own them.
And these are the types who want more of us who didn't work hard enough to be billionaires to go to those "for profit" prisons.
Yeah, there are prisons – mostly owned by these assholes!
Election-swaying, filthy rich fucks have feelings too!
I'd like to invest in those stocks.
I'd like to automatically trade those stocks thousands of times per second until the entire stock market experiences a Flash Crash. And then I'll pay millions into Mitt's SuperPAC to make sure if he wins, no tax on reckless and rapid trading will be enacted.
Is it too early to leverage options on billionaire bellies?
Well, if the millions he is giving wasn't going into the Super PACs for attack ads, dirty tricks, and various shenanigans, I'd be more supportive of his right to spend his money as he darn well chooses.
As opposed to the good old Dark Ages, when a tiny cabal of ultrawealthy families controlled the economies of nations and held all political power.
At least the rich would occasionally get killed by Vikings.
Come on, Norway…
Until he comes clean about what happened to Natalee Holloway I don't wanna hear a word VanderSloot has to say.
Nancy Grace, is that you?
Judas Cradle
Similarly, the nation's vampires don't understand why so many of us nasty people are carrying around wooden stakes and garlic instead of happily offering up our blood to them.
"It hurts their personal lives."
Their evil capitalist free-market policies hurt my personal life. If they get hurt, they can go have a Mr. Burns style money-fight. That seems to cheer him up.
We could go back to the Dark Ages and use stocks, but I'd settle for putting them in nice modern corporate-run prisons.
The race for "First Up Against The Wall When The Revolution Comes" is a tight one.
I thought that race had already been won by the Marketing Department of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
"Mitt Romney – your plastic pal who's fun to be with!"
To say nothing of the Wall Street martini swillers taunting the Occupy folks.
They only call it "class warfare" when we fight back.
"Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you." –Mr. Burns
You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.
Oh well, it's one thing to hurt their feelings. But hurting their businesses? That's fucking unacceptable, peeps…! Don't mess with the business, ya hear?
Why are they paying Bristol Palin $1 million to appear on The Big Wang Theory?
'Cause Linda Lovelace is dead?
Really? As what, Will Wheaton's baby mama?
Given that our billionaire bald headed psycho of a Gubberner down here in Floridon't has ALREADY tainted the general by casting doubts on whomever wins FLA, I wouldn't be so quick to whinge about the mean poor people saying mean things. It could get a lot worse if the peons start figuring out that the election were
riggedbought.. (As if it's not).Wouldn't be the first time they rigged/bought an election in Florida.
How is that guy still walking around unscathed? People's tolerance amazes me.
Needz moar bubonic plague.
Bring out your dead!
Am I the only one to whom that almost sounds like an endorsement of the idea?
I'm sure, given enough deregulation, they'll be sending out the goon squads and union busters to bring back that noble tradition.
Vandersloot has been ruining the state in which he resides for years (where I also now live). He owns the legislature and has installed an abject moran as the superintendent of education (from another one of his edumakation software companies). He's made a hobby of viciously ruining anyone who dares speak of him.
So, yeah, Voldemort looks like a pussy next to him.
Doesn't he own that Melaluca company or some such bullshit?
That's the guy. But if you call it a multi-level marketing or pyramid company, he and his employees will screech and gnash their teeth that it's totally not (it is). Was inside the lair once and every senior exec had pictures of themselves next to Glenn Beck at some dipshit event that Frank sponsored. I felt it wasn't a match for me.
I'm no Dr. Phil, but they should kill themselves. By self-inflicted skullfuck or chainsaw-banging, I give them my full support.
In fact, I have support hotline website for your rich fucks tired of yacht racing and supporting political worthless mannequins : http://sleepytime-mintcakes.com
I can only think of this when I read shit like that.
Just because some guy contributes more than I will will make in my entire life to a political candidate why should I feel powerless and angry?
IT"S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If God loved you more you would be rich, too.
He also spends more on vacations to underage sex dungeons in third world countries than you will make in your entire life, if that makes you feel any better.
It's not like they're responsible for much of the mess we're in right now.*
*yeah, they are.
The Kochs have given close to $400 million this year and it's all because they love
Americamoney!When will this awful oppressive overburdening and underappreciation of rich assholes cease? I'm going to stop giving money to the local animal shelter and my public radio station so I can focus on the far more pressing needs of our real underclass, who can't even purchase an entire political party without a knee-jerk shitstorm coming down on their heads from the millions of Americans who should be happy with even being allowed to share the same planet with such great people.
What you said. Only with "fucking assholes." at the end.
You go back to the Dark Ages when they put these people in the stocks or whatever they did
I have some rotting veggies in my fridge that I'd enjoy throwing at VanderSloot
Now, where did I place my knitting needles? I have a new name to knit into my shawl.
If I had a name like "VanderSloot" I would do as little as possible in the public eye.
[or change my name altogether...]
Pay no attention to the old, white, extremely rich men behind the very thick velvet curtain.
If that doughy Monopoly® Man is supposed to represent the millionairish self-vicitmizing vermin here, then let me remind his ilk what the "token" game pieces stand for:
- A boot, to kick you in the ass
- A yappy terrier, to bite you in the ass
- A hot iron to brand your ass
- A cannon, to blast your ass
- A motorcar, to run over your ass
- The damned hat to, I dunno, shove up your scarred, scabbed, scalded, reamed and ridden ass.
*It's understood this analogy could be counter-used by the 1% and aimed at the 99% or anyy perceived adversary but, it was fun making the list, improved my mood considerably~
You can understand our entire current economy just by playing Monopoly, can't you? As I've written before, we're right at the point where one lucky asshole has all the monies and properties and the rest of the players are about to kick over the playing board.
Speaking of rich people…What the fucking fuck, Bill Clinton?
Bill Clinton criticizes Obama’s Bain attacks, praises Romney’s ‘sterling business career’
The whole fucking world's gone crazy.
Oh shit. And he is going to Wisconsin?
JFC, and I thought nothing could make me feel worse after seeing that jobs report…
FFS, it's not even 10 AM here and I already need several drinks…
right? it's afternoon here and i still feel like that?
and the romney camp gloating makes me want to slit my wrists.
It's always
JuneApril first somewhere.Clinton does not like Obama.
But he sure seemed to like Bob Rubin, Larry Summers, and Alan Greenspan, amiright?
That should read, Bob fucking Rubin, Larry fucking Summers, and Alan oh god no Greenspan.
Had Bill spoken up about this when Newt, Santorum, Perruh, and Palin all bitched endlessly about it, but no, it's "mean" if a Democrat does it. Fuck. That. Shit.
Clinton suggested it was dangerous for Democrats to go after Romney's record at Bain Capital—adding that in private equity, "like anything else you try, you don't always succeed" in saving companies or making them more productive.
You don't always succeed — but you always make millions. What the fuck kind of "business" is that?
I know. I am very disappointed and hope it was just taken out of context. It was…right? Please?
The poor billionaire without a soul should be able to corrupt the democratic process as much as he wants to. Tell it to Satan, asshole, I'm sure he'll be all ears.
With all due respect, VanderSloot Loves the Peasants.
As long as they are properly cooked.
Also too,
Things have come to a sorry state of affairs indeed when racists are boycotted by people of the very race that they are racist against. – Roger the Shrubber
These aren’t donations they are prepayments for services to be rendered. Every time you look at large corporate donations and tie them to legislation it seems that the “donations” cost about 10% when compared to the quid pro quo legislation.
Is that motherfucker's name really "VanderSloot"?
Jesus Christ, the name sounds like Dutch for "money is falling out of my anus."
I thought it sounded like a fart in a bathtub, but yours is good, too.
Apropos of nothing, did everyone else see the episode of Game of Thrones with peasants' riot a few weeks back, where they ended up ripping the High Septon limb from limb?
The top lawyer for VanderSloot’s company has demanded corrections from media outlets writing about VanderSloot’s political activity. When one blogger emailed back, “I do not appreciate thinly veiled threats,” the lawyer responded, “We have been neither thin nor veiled. … Melaleuca is more than capable and willing to protect its reputation from false and defamatory statements as it sees fit.”
Stand your ground, Wonkette!
I'll make it more interesting for you. Did you hear VanderSloot raped and killed a young woman in 1991?
Well, he's never denied it . . .
It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
If he's never denied it, then there must be some truth to it. Why else would he not deny it?
Also, I hear he punched the Palin kid right square in the nose.
“I do not appreciate thinly veiled threats,” the lawyer responded, “We have been neither thin nor veiled"
This really is awesome in sort of an evil cartoon supervillian sort of way:
"Who do you think you're talking to, some piss ant who only has [snicker!] *millions*? We don't have to bother veiling *our* threats. [pounds table] WE ARE ABOVE THE LAW!!"
As the saying goes "if you're not Dutch, you're not much." Vandersnoot isn't much concerned for the very poors. Also.
And what exactly is a Dutch treat, hengh?
Why, it's no treat AT ALL!
Think about THAT, sheeple!
Haven't the mega-rich suffered enough?
No.
The astounding disconnect with any sense of common decency just boggles the mind.
One hopes this karma thing is real and that vandersnooty's glaringly negative balance shall eventually doom him to one of Dante Alighieri's most thoroughly ghastly afterlife depictions.
Here's to hopin. (E grazie tanto, il Sommo Poeta!)
"You go back to the Dark Ages when they put these people in the stocks or whatever they did"
Uuuuuhhhh. They didn't put Barons in stocks ass hole.
This is the same Vandersloot that took out a 1 page ad in a small town newspaper calling out a gay journalist who looked into his campaign finance spending. He apparently has a legion of attorneys (good for him) and even tried to challenge Rachel Maddow over one of her stories about this chap.
He's nothing more than a prime cut, Grade A, aged gaping shitheel. The fact that he's Commander Hair Helmets co-chair for campaign finance demonstrates he has a self-serving agenda.
well, just remember tonight as you hang out in your miserable apartment eating Hobo Beans and drinking malt liquor or whatever, to pity the poor billionaire who must face sharp criticism! Indeed, sir, I feel for you how that must cause a moments trouble in the otherwise long, uninterrupted come shot that is your life!
I can't afford both Hobo Beans and Malt Liquor, you elitist pig!
MALT liquor? Well la-de-da, Mr. Park Avenue!
And not that fancy store-bought dirt; I can't compete with that.
[mutters under breath]
Thinks he's so big…
Speech is free in the sense that they aren't going to jail for it. They are delusional if they think it will make them universally beloved.
"Speech is free…"
Don't shout that too loudly, or we'll be seeing a Pay-to-Play proposal in congress, whereby, if you want to comment in the media about the political process, you gotta pay, or you're censored.
I really have to resist the temptation to make all my comments in this thread just straight-up Mr. Burns quotes, but this is too perfect to pass up.
Mr. Burns: All my money makes me happy, and yet, people only fear me; they don't love me. I want to be loved.
Homer: [thinks for a moment] I see. [pauses] Well, I'll need some beer…
This Rolling Stone piece has a great rundown on these poor election-rigging billionaires. http://bit.ly/JyPUv6
This story needs more drawing and quartering. Please.
“They’ve decided that this is fair game and we have to play by the same rules as they are,” he said. “So our message is: We’re coming after their donors. We’re going to be going through their trash, and we’re going to be showing up on their front yards and investigating all the pay-to-play and cronyism on their side.”
I must have missed the part where Obama's people were showing up in the Koch brothers' front yards and going through their trash.
I like to sit in a rocking chair on my front porch, with my shotgun resting sideways in my lap. I *hope* this asstard shows up in my front yard.
I heard they like stocks AND bonds, so make sure to put the cuffs on.
Well, pretty soon the Court will have to re-rule on Citizens United that not only is money a form of speech, but that spenders of said money must be protected by secrecy, for Democracy.
So the right wingers are going after Soros now? That doesn't sound like them at all.
Gold-Plated Assholes like VanderPoot are people, too my friends; but only in the Corporate sense, not the human sense.
apropos of nothing at all.
Oh damn these whiny millionaires and billionaires to hell.
I would like to add a note of caution in our zeal to have all these super-rich fuckers beheaded, stoned, and poked fun at. Which I am generally in favour of, duh!
The Center for Responsive Politics notes that residents in 7 out of 10 of the richest zip codes in the country, overwhelmingly contribute to progressive and democratic causes. #1 being 10021 in Manhattan — over 77% of all political contributions, or $4.7 million.
Zip code 20854 [Potomac, Md] contributed more than 71% to democratic causes; 90210 [Beverley Hills] 77% progressive; 60614 [Chicago] 77%; 22101 [ D.C.] 71% progressive; etc.
Throw rotten tomatoes at McLean, VA [ranked #3 richest] since it contributed mostly republican [64%]. Boo…
Perhaps we should clarify, it's not the rich I have a problem with. It's people who want to gut environmental and financial regulations to enrich themselves at the expense of everyone else. People who whine about having to store the toxic waste from their mountaintop removal mining, and being required by an overly-intrusive government to take meager precautions which in effect allow us all to pretend it won't get into the drinking water, just for one example. If, on top of that, they run a secret campaign to elect Romney that is bigger than Romney's own campaign, we have a problem. Our democratic process has a moldy infection requiring a good old fashioned sunlight disinfectant.
Agreed 200%. Tim Dickinson in Rolling Stone has a great piece about the billionaires funding Romney.
Some of the biggest fucking assholes that ever walked the earth. Yeah, I'm looking at you Harold Simmons. A candidate for the guillotine if ever there was.
And they're busy trying to destroy the earth too. Why? Freedom.
It's people whining about it, left or right, who get on my nerves. You donate that much money, you lobby for causes, then you are putting yourself in the arena and you will be criticized by others who do not share your views. Man up and put on your big-boy pants, or don't get involved in the first place if you can't hack it.
what's really sad is these asshats won't be raptured so we can't get their stuff.
You go back to the Dark Ages when they put these people in the stocks or whatever they did
that's really funny frank. most of your party's social policy comes directly FROM the dark ages.
I want to see Frank VanderSloot's birth certificate.
Perhaps he could bankroll a comic book character (suggested name: Frank VanderTruth) who's a milquetoasty billionaire by day and an undercover regular guy working a night-shift minimum wage KwikeeMart job and distibuting street sass to the very, very mean customer base, who so trouble him.
Suggested catch phrase: "Neither I nor Mayor Bloomberg approve of your portion size, pal."
Enjoyable moment from Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds:
"On the following day, when Mr. Aislabie [major perp of the South Sea Bubble] was conveyed to the Tower, the mob assembled on Tower-hill with the intention of hooting and pelting him. Not succeeding in this, they kindled a large bonfire, and danced around it in the exuberance of their delight."
Somehow fucking drum circles just ain't in the same league as pelting financial criminals with rotten cabbages and lighting bonfires throughout the city. We are such mice.
"You know what our problem is?? We're TOO NICE!!" — Every member of my family, ever
Needs moar stonings. And pitchforks.
The only way Frank VanderSloot could have a more cartoonish supervillian name is if his name were Winthrop VanderSloot III.
Does anyone else see the logical flaw in giving someone a public beating because they don't like you?
"VanderSloot" is my least favorite Ben Stiller flick. Then again, they all are.
Although, to be fair, they're all drastically better than any movie Adam Sandler has ever made.
Shorter: "How DARE you duck when I throw things at you!"
Of all the injustices ever suffered throughout human history; without exaggeration, this is one billion times worse than all of them combined.
VanderSloot is the same crybaby that has a history of getting involved in politics then whines after getting called on it. Poor baby.
Having unburdened himself of this terrible trauma, VanderSnot dried his tears with a handkerchief made of the last remaining Bengal tiger, threw the used handkerchief in the garbage, and went back to diving into his money a la Scrooge McDuck.
My carpentry skills are kind of lame, but if I build the stocks will you come Mr. VanderSloot? Where'd that name come from, has a certain midwest snooty cache, kind of like "Mitt".
That cunt.
Stocks? Meh. I say we bring back tarring and feathering.
If were a billionaire, I would do fun things, like play bumper cars with Rolls-Royces. Or hire porno actresses to go-go dance on my coffee table. The last thing on earth I would do would be waste the money by giving it to politicians. I might do awful things, like make an "Indecent Proposal" to Newt and Callista Gingrich or tell Michelle Bachman I would give her $1 million if she got Marcus to wear assless leather chaps to the Mall of America. But I would welsh on those offers……
Money = speech.
Anonymous money = anonymous speech
It's the latter that's the problem . . . all the bullshit TV ads "paid for by Real Americans for an American America" are starting to creep me out.
Frank Van der Sloot?
Wasn't he one of those recurring secondary characters Carl Barks created for UNCLE SCROOGE (issues #1,173-#1,842) – Gladstone Gander's snobby, rich, upper-crust cousin from the Neederlunds, right?
(public image management tip #17: (a) don't complain to the press about how the press handles your complaints in the press in a complaining about the press sort of way. Cause, you know – they'll only print it; and, (b) especially don't complain about the burdens of being rich – super-especially extra-not don't don't don't complain aboutthe sorrows of being underappreciated for being rich if your oh-my-god-for-real comic-book-character name is Vandersloot, fer chrisakes.)
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