RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  10:50 am June 1, 2012

Delete That Crotch Shot Before You Get Famous

by Sulagna Misra

nom nom nomThis morning, let’s play some games on egalitarianism, read up on libertarian symbols such as soda, and learn how to tweet. Happy Friday!
  • Mayor Bloomberg wants to take away New Yorkers’ giant sodas — nothing over 16 oz. It’s already too late, man, we’re never all going to fit into the N train, no matter what you do. [The Daily Beast]
  • A new site called “Politiwoops” posts up all deleted politicians’ tweets in the past six months. Before you get all excited, it looks like most of them are just awkward mistakes people make when they really don’t know how Twitter works, like needing to make the url tiny to fit it in, or not sending dirty pictures because everyone can see it. [CNET]
  • Here’s an article on how well Chipotle’s doing and how that’s helping the antibiotic-free meat business. Recommendation: do not read if you don’t have a way to get to Chipotle for lunch. [NPR]
  • Ladies, do you want to hold up half the sky? Okay, not really. That feels like asking for additional back pain combined with all the dish-washing, cooking, and cleaning we have to do. (Thanks, patriarchy!) Instead, play a game and learn how to hold up half the sky metaphorically. [Mashable]
 
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{ 94 comments }

Barb June 1, 2012 at 10:53 am

I want to order a soda so large that James Cameron will want to go to the bottom of it.
~Stephen Colbert

Barb June 1, 2012 at 10:54 am

Isn't Bloomberg the guy who made that sugary deal to put Snapple in the schools?

14 September 2003: New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced that the Snapple Beverage Group, a division of Cadbury-Schweppes, had become New York City’s first official corporate marketing partner under the City’s plan to generate revenue by centralizing New York’s marketing assets and intellectual properties.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

It gets worse.

The idiot issued a proclamation yesterday…the SAME DAY he proposed this ban!…declaring today, June 1, official Donut Day in NYC.

Oh. And those Snapple machines were removed by 2009. Seems that they didnt help fight childhood obesity after all and left the city $5 million in the hole.

iburl June 1, 2012 at 11:09 am

Bloomberg is a moron. 16 ounces is a baby drink where I come from. I use 16 ounces of ICE in the summer.

sewollef June 1, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Met Bloomberg once. He was a nice guy — then. Before his mayoral duties and when he still ran Bloomberg, the company.

Funny story: I was contracted by my editor as Design Director on a new publication Bloomberg were producing. Early one morning in their Princeton offices, I was in a meeting with my editor when in walks this guy.

My ed, says, "sewollef, this is Mike". I turn around, politely shake his hand and say, "Hi Mike, what do you do?"

Oops.

Come here a minute June 1, 2012 at 10:54 am

Helping farmers? That sounds like something Willie Nelson would celebrate. But how?

prommie June 1, 2012 at 11:21 am

Wildwood weed grew wild on the farm, we never knew what it was called.

SorosBot June 1, 2012 at 10:56 am

TEH DEMOCRAT PARTY HEALTH NAZIS R TELLIN US WHATT WE CAN EET AGTAIN!!1!

…Oh, what's that, Bloomberg's a right-wing "independent"? Never mind.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

There's an awful lot right Bloomberg's done here. I grant that. Forcing fast food restaurants to post calorie information, bans on smoking basically anyplace other people have to walk (like parks and beaches), getting rid of transfats and reducing salt, even the attempt to impose a soda tax, I could get behind most of those and the ones I didn't turned out OK anyway.

This just seems a waste of time for everyone involved.

iburl June 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

Is a 17 ounce water OK, or is that going to make me pee pee?

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:18 am

Water's fine, it's anything sweetened with sugar.

Which is weird because diet soft drinks will kill you faster than obesity ever could

Oh. But you will pay a deposit for the bottle of 5 cents.

iburl June 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm

So, no lemon in my water. I understand and comply.

SorosBot June 1, 2012 at 11:18 am

How is being the fuckface asshole responsible for those horrible awful bans on smoking in bars and parks something he's done right? You say he's done some things right, then name one of the absolute worst things that douchebag has done. Where the fuck are people in New York supposed to smoke now, in the middle of the street?

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:32 am

Um, yea. Basically.

I take it you smoke? I have to go up on my roof for a stogie. I don't mind.

I look at it this way: I don't masturbate on people, so I shouldn't blow my smoke at them either.

cheetojeebus June 1, 2012 at 10:57 am

Ladies, I'm antibiotic free, you know, just sayin…case ya feel like it. You know, having a little pork…..

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:05 am

I will be antibiotic free once the chlamydia clears up.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

Sluggo!

Good morning

I saw the title of your post, and knew you were talking to me, and me only, after our Twittercourse last night…

FlyOverGirl June 1, 2012 at 10:58 am

Having just been in Chicago for the weekend and paid $3.25 for a 16oz Lipton Ice Tea, I cannot wait to visit Manhattan and experience something similar.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

HOLY CRAP! $3.25?????

I gotta call my travel agent! I can set up an import business and make a mint!

Barb June 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

Actor, bottled water is $10.00 in the Vegas gift shops. I just wander the casino floor and take the ice from the empty cocktail glasses. Sure, I got Hepatitis-B, but the good news is that I will no longer have to worry anymore about getting Hepatitis-B.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

Here's the funniest part about bottled water.

NYC tap is so good that two brands, Aquafina and Dasani, bottle almost directly from the tap.

So you see any number of people walking the streets of Manhattan with Dasani or Aquafina, when all they have to do is carry an empty frikkin' bottle and fill up at any frikkin' park fountain or water cooler!

prommie June 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

NYC water really is the best. Fucking Dasani, what a triumph of marketing, getting people to pay for an empty coke bottle filled with the same amount of tap water that they woulda used to clean the coke bottle before filling it.

Mittens Howell, III June 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

$10.00? Are the bottles filled with Angel's tears.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:19 am

Gamblers' tears, more likely.

prommie June 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

Gypsies.

Barb June 1, 2012 at 11:24 am

It's "Evian" or 'naive" in anagram.

prommie June 1, 2012 at 11:14 am

there are these things called "bodegas." You get the coffee in the greek paper cup for $1, and cheap water, and a kaiser roll and butter for breakfast. Stay the fuck outta starbucks, if ya don't want to pay yuppie prices.

FlyOverGirl June 1, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I was in Millennium Park. It was effing 93 and killer. Always a bad idea to buy your beverage from a vendor in the park, but so I did.

prommie June 1, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I bet they charge that poor vendor an ungodly sum to be there. I think I read somewhere that the hot dog carts in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NY pay like a quarter-million a year for the space!

FlyOverGirl June 1, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Probably so.

This will be one of those sad moments when I'm glad that I live in Nebraska.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 10:59 am

Ladies, do you want to hold up half the sky?

Dark chocolate will help with that.

dijetlo June 1, 2012 at 11:00 am

What is this Chip Oatley thing of which you speak? It sounds vaguely…..Messican? Will the dang fence stop it? Should I be afraid? Can I be afraid?

nounverb911 June 1, 2012 at 11:01 am

How many calories in that Triple Shot Chai $8 Mochawhatever from Charbucks?

boobookitteh June 1, 2012 at 11:03 am

But it's the crotch shot that made me famous!

Chill_Bill June 1, 2012 at 11:16 am

Crotch shot of GTFO. Well…maybe not.

boobookitteh June 1, 2012 at 11:23 am
Goonemeritus June 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

As a NYer who splits his time between Manhattan and my bunker/farm in western NY I would like to defend the Down-Staters. By and large NY city dwellers are more fit and look happier than their rural counterparts. I’m not sure if it’s because of the increased amount of walking they do or the Buttsex but it is noticeable.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

How far up is your bunker?

Mine is in the ass-end of the Catskills, but when the Zombie Apocalypse starts, I may need a more rural haven. I don't trust the damn milk cows around me. They been eyeing my satellite dish

Goonemeritus June 1, 2012 at 11:31 am

Finger Lakes region, I have lots of Amish neighbors. I used to live in the Catskills when I worked in Woodstock

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:36 am

Man I love that town. Candlestock is a must-do everytime I go there.

I'd probably head further north, like maybe Massena or Fort Drum. I figure them cows wouldn't be able to walk with udders full of ice milk in the winter.

weejee June 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

Half the sky indeed. As if global warmingz weren't enough the freakin' Andromedanistas are coming. Teatarded deniers in 3, 2, 1….

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

Yea, forget the Mayan 2012 end, mark 4,000,002,012 on your calendars!

Jus_Wonderin June 1, 2012 at 11:52 am

Damn. Could have been a wild ride. Maybe my dust will have fun though.

glamourdammerung June 1, 2012 at 2:26 pm

GALAXIES R NOT IN THE BABLE SO R UNCUNSTITONAL!!11!!!!!

noodlesalad June 1, 2012 at 11:04 am

Fortunately, thanks to education cuts, most New Yorkers who want a 64-ounce soda (which is what, 4 pounds of soda? Good Christ!) won't know they can just buy 4 16-ounce drinks.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

He actually made almost precisely the same point on the Today show this morning, Bloomberg did.

"I don't know what the big deal is! I mean, most people know, if you want 32 oz of soda, you can buy two 16 oz drinks and drink them both, don't they? Studies show most people will stop after they finish the first one."

noodlesalad June 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

Math is a big fucking deal to most tea-tards, Bloomberg. It's why our taxes keep going up and Obama hasn't added any jobs and the planet isn't warming and filibuster abuse isn't occurring.

FlyOverGirl June 1, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Back in the fall I started charting the amount of Diet Coke I consumed in one day. It was beyond disturbing — something along the lines of two 2-liters. My daily consumption did decrease after that.

EatsBabyDingos June 1, 2012 at 11:05 am

"I'll have the lard IV with a 55 gallon small Coke, please."

An_Outhouse June 1, 2012 at 11:35 am

make mine a diet Coke

weejee June 1, 2012 at 11:41 am

There may be a new Prezidential Medal tune in that…

♪♫ A lard reign gonna fall ♫♪

Mittens Howell, III June 1, 2012 at 11:06 am

Glad I don't live in NY, It would take forever to fill my Dr Pepper jacuzzi with 16 oz soda cups.

Schmannnity June 1, 2012 at 11:07 am

I wonder if White Castle will make my slider antibiotic free.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

It doesn't have to: the bacteria die from overpopulation

Schmannnity June 1, 2012 at 11:11 am

Malthusian cheeseburger

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:20 am

Damn….how did you know the title of my next book of slam poetry?

weejee June 1, 2012 at 11:42 am

Relish the thought of it.

SayItWithWookies June 1, 2012 at 11:08 am

Years ago I was talking to a coworker about the increasing popularity of organic food, and he came out with Rush's fave talking point about it, which was that we could all have organic, healthy food provided we didn't mind that ten percent of the population would starve to death because we couldn't grow enough to feed everyone. I laughed and laughed — and now he's probably eating organic pasture-raised pork.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:17 am

Hell, if Rush just pushed away from the dinner table after fourths, we could solve world hunger.

widestanceromance June 1, 2012 at 11:09 am

Yes, I would like to super-size my freedoms with the Mayor Half-Pint's One Pint Solution! FTW

johnnyzhivago June 1, 2012 at 11:10 am

Ok, Friday salad recipes – where are the fashion tips for the weekend and the Etsy giveaways????????

prommie June 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

I'm still saying to myself "This is not my beautiful Wonkette." Just saying.

el_donaldo June 1, 2012 at 11:19 am

You may ask yourself, how do I work this?

widestanceromance June 1, 2012 at 11:25 am

The tricky part is doing that arm chop thing while typing.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:29 am

Let tin g th e days go b y

By god, you're right!

widestanceromance June 1, 2012 at 11:39 am

Some of us type better than others with one hand. . .just sayin'

MoeDeLawn June 1, 2012 at 11:24 am

Meh. Same as it ever was, once you get into the comments.
And, in my case, to the p-ness.

Dashboard Buddha June 1, 2012 at 11:12 am

I eat meat, but I would prefer that the animal be treated humanely before slaughter. The pigs in the NPR picture look not only happy and adorable…but also delicious. As long as the picture fits my assumption, I could nom them with a clear conscience.

Oh, and yes. I have participated in a slaughter of a pig when I was a teen. I thought I would be horrified, but the process was fascinating…and the pig was delicious.

johnnyzhivago June 1, 2012 at 11:20 am

I'm thinking of setting up a farm where you can exchange letters and photos back and forth with the animals so you can get to know them better and see how happy and playful they were before you ate them.

Disclaimer: I also eat meat.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

"Would you like a flank steak? I've been fattening myself up this week."

deanbooth June 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

I went to a farm once. They had to stop me from eating the face off a pig.

Mumbletypeg June 1, 2012 at 11:13 am

OK I glanced at the Half the Sky thing and my skeptic-O-meter is skittering toward "O RLY"? Need to go re-read since it's the first I've heard of something called "game-driven human rights awareness" or such but,
a.) how does the popularity of a game correlate/ "causate"/ translate to actual increased awareness of anything;
b.) is any activity (as if gaming, besides wii I guess, involves 'activity'!) short of directly immersing yourself in whatever resources available — soup kitchen, Occupy rally, Fix-A-Shelter or foster-care abandoned pets — going to reinforce the real meaning of "HUMAN" rights i.e. with[out] a smidgen of actual human interaction?

SayItWithWookies June 1, 2012 at 11:26 am

Sounds like someone has never enjoyed a meal from all the food she's grown herself in Farmville.

Mumbletypeg June 1, 2012 at 11:45 am

I blow an a virtual, yet organically cultivated *raspberry* in your general direction~

SayItWithWookies June 1, 2012 at 12:13 pm

When life gives you raspberries, make sherbet — that's what I say anyway.

Sharkey June 1, 2012 at 11:48 am

These poor girls have never done anything popular. Finally, they get to do something popular! Enhance their self of steam and stuff!

Mittens Howell, III June 1, 2012 at 11:15 am

Oxycodone burgers.

el_donaldo June 1, 2012 at 11:18 am

Speaking of patriarchy, do you know what else gives women back pain?

[It's really big boobs. I'm thinking about really big boobs.]

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:23 am

My ex used to call me a pain in the ass, so I guess I must weigh a ton

chascates June 1, 2012 at 11:20 am

Chipotle is also trying to source their vegetables from local farms so good on them. Niman Ranch meat is actually contracted out to people all over the place who follow Niman's guidelines. So if you see it for sale it's probably from around your area. For more information on local pastured raised products check out: http://www.eatwild.com/

JOEL SALATIN FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Blueb4sunrise June 1, 2012 at 11:36 am
actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:37 am
Blueb4sunrise June 1, 2012 at 11:47 am

Verily, The Pythons were better forecasters than the OT.

1:2
12-10-69

Sharkey June 1, 2012 at 11:52 am

Awww, poor sheeple…

proudgrampa June 1, 2012 at 12:17 pm

"This is quite an unusual event," Allan Eade, a paramedic, told the Associated Press news agency.

No shit, Sherlock.

Jus_Wonderin June 1, 2012 at 11:45 am

I tweeted a photo of my Chipolte burrito. Hope that is okay.

Andrew Drinker June 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Coincidentally I am eating a burrito bol and drinking a LARGE SODA. Granted, it's Diet, so it'll kill me with chemicals before it makes me fat(ter).

ttommyunger June 1, 2012 at 1:26 pm

What next? Child restraints, seat belts, speed limits? It's all too much! Needz moar individual freedums, for freedom!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 2, 2012 at 11:15 am

I think we're going about this all wrong. Isn't there some way to give the teabaggers all the fried food, candy, soda, ice cream, and cigarettes they can possibly consume, free them from speed limit, seatbelt and motorcycle helmet laws, give them horrible, unaffordable health care, and, you know … just wait them out?

ttommyunger June 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Too slow for me, I'm an old.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 2, 2012 at 11:18 am

Bloomberg is on the wrong track, and I think we're going about this all wrong. Isn't there some way to give the teabaggers all the fried butter sticks, candy, soda, ice cream, and cigarettes they can possibly consume, free them from speed limit, seatbelt and motorcycle helmet laws, give them horrible, unaffordable health care, and, you know … just wait them out?

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:25 am

But it's filtered first! As if anyone who keeps a jug in their fridge doesn't have a Brita somewhere along the food chain there.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:28 am

There used to be a resort in the Catskills called "The Nevele", and for the longest time, no one could figure out what it was supposed to mean: was it Iroquois for something? Yiddish? Russian?

No, idiots, it was named for the first people to settle on the land…all eleven of them.

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 11:43 am

I don't waste my Viagra on the Internet.

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