FUN WITH PHOTOSHOP  4:38 pm May 31, 2012

Contest! What Is This Official George W. Bush White House Portrait Missing?

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Please send me to jail.

Did we all have a good time watching Dubya make some funneez at the White House today? It was pretty good! He was all like, haha, you know and I know and everybody knows that I was pretty much the worst at being the preznit, for reals, hilares, just Mr. Jokey Jokey about what a terrible job he did. He’s somehow easier to take out of office than he was in, no? But enough about that! Please get out your MSPaint, because we feel this portrait is just missing … something. Couldn’t say what, because then you would just steal it, and we would get 470 pictures of GWB with his cock in his hand, and we do not want to see that. The contest will be open until 5 p.m. Friday. Winners get nothing, as per usual. Send to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “This is not a portrait of George W. Bush with his cock in his hand.” Amen.

UPDATE: Some of you seem unclear that this fine contest entails actually MAKING A PICTURE instead of just shouting nouns at us in the tipline. Don’t get us wrong, we love nouns. But those are probably better for the comments than the contest.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 202 comments }

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Goats chewing on his pants?

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 7:13 pm

My Pet Goat chewing on his pants

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 4:34 pm

His codpiece enhanced flight suit?

Pop_Socket May 31, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I knew that was too good of an answer to not be taken.

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm

His brother JarJar?

Pseudonymously_Joe May 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Obligatory Hitler!

MittBorg May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I vote for this one.

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:39 am

I would also vote for it as the name of a bar band.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:25 am

Well, his was the only name on the ballot.

Barb May 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Let's have fun with this.
Is Josh going to post the Mitt Romney app stuff from yesterday?

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 8:47 am

NOUN SHOUT is now a mandatory Internet tradition. Also, too, meme.

Too. Also.

Pseudonymously_Joe May 31, 2012 at 4:43 pm

The Pet Goat, by Siegfried Engelmann and Elaine C. Bruner

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Totally OT, but I saw an ad today for "Mannish Water" Ram Goat Flavor Soup Mix with "artifical goat flavor".

I'm most impressed that somebody saw a market for, and actually invented, artificial goat flavor.

chascates May 31, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Hmm, Ram Goat may be a little strong. Is there a doe or kid goat flavor available?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I have every confidence that teams of Amercia's (or at least Jamacia's) most brilliant chemists are working on it.

Meanwhile, you can just cut the ram goat flavoring with a bit of artificial fetus flavor.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:01 pm

"Mannish water" is such a disgusting name that artificial goat flavor could only be an improvement.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 8:34 pm

No kidding. I produce "mannish water" several times daily, but I wouldn't try to sell it to anybody.

738838 May 31, 2012 at 9:02 pm

That's cool but my local Stop n Shop actually sells a Jamaican product called "Cock Soup". It would probably sell well a a young Republican convention. I usually buy a load of it for stocking stuffers.

MoeDeLawn June 1, 2012 at 9:28 am

Excellent! My gift recipients are very tired of getting Spotted Dick every year.

mayor_quimby June 1, 2012 at 12:17 am

Mannish water usually involves a goat head, taken from the goat you then roast in a manly fashion. Stew it down with spices , some veggies, and you have a soup that will make your (Jamaican) cock hard enough to beat other men to death with, figuratively, or is that literally.
But seriously, it is delicious, had some st Xmas!

Biel_ze_Bubba June 1, 2012 at 2:53 pm

That's one very authentic-sounding recipe . . . and it may largely explain why there's a market for the artificial flavor.

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Needs more flying shoes.

JudasPeckerwood May 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Shouldn't puppet-master Cheney's hand be up his ass?

MittBorg May 31, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Aw, BeccaLou, man, right out of the park you total the best possible idea for a 'shop.

How 'bout a 'shop of GeeDumbz with his dick in his ear?

"You have a dick in your ear."
"What? I can't hear you."

Rinse and repeat.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

"Twat? I cunt hear you."

FTFY

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:31 am

Twat? I cunt hair you.

ftfy

actor212 June 1, 2012 at 8:47 am

Cum again?

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Finger it out for yourself.

Pragmatist2 May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

A brain????

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

He already has that "I smell a fart" look on his face so that's not it.

YasserArraFeck May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

I so can't believe that this empty suit got to serve two terms!!!!!!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Aha – it's not what's missing from the portrait — it's what's there. Should just be the empty suit.

Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Hmmm…. that's all I can see there.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:28 am

I'm glad you refrained from saying that he was elected twice.

SayItWithWookies May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

A blaze orange jump suit and a ball gag, for starters.

MittBorg May 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

I vote for this one also.

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 5:33 pm

And don't forget the shackles.

chascates May 31, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Instead of a vibrating butt plug one that shocks on a random time basis.

Dashboard_Jesus June 1, 2012 at 1:06 am

thanks for making my now intermittent Wonkette lurking worthwhile Wookies, finding your precious comments is like my own personal game of 'Where's Waldo' (or in this case 'Where's Dubya-do'?)

SayItWithWookies June 1, 2012 at 2:39 am

DJ, the pleasure is all mine — I'm happy to type out something that amuses me, and just thrilled to amuse others in addition. And I hope you lurk more and participate more too.

Mumbletypeg June 6, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I hope you lurk more and participate more too.

Seconding Wooks here, D_J~

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:28 am

Also, Jeff Gannon. Also.

OldWhiteLies May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Any real sense of decorum?

Intelligence?

An actual human being man to fill that empty suit?

A stylish pocket hanky?

Reality?

A shiny spot on his forehead?

A sense of humility?

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 4:45 pm

His lobotomy scar?

emmelemm June 1, 2012 at 6:25 am

They go in through the eyes – no scars that way!

red_kira May 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I will be serious. THE MURRICUN FLAG! Yee-hah!

I am – like – really. Wow. No flag just hits you like a ton of bricks. Lapel pins don't count.

ghblowhard May 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

You mean the Amercia flag don't you?

OldWhiteLies May 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Hmmm. He does have the obligatory lapel pin – but you're right, no flag on a pole. Very curious.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 4:58 pm

True fact: the only official Presidential portrait to have the flag in it is Bill Clinton.

He has two, in fact.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Wait, does that make him bivexillist?

BloviateMe May 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Omission accomplished?

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:47 pm

The American Flag went on record that the mission would require twice as many flags as planned and was forced to take early retirement. The painting went ahead without it.

Beowoof May 31, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Republican Flag pins must be made in the People's Republic of China. So that they know the workers who made them were paid shit wages and abused.

neiltheblaze May 31, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I noticed right away there was no swastika carved in his forehead.

Chill_Bill May 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

A good legacy, but I don't think you can photoshop that.

johnnymeatworth May 31, 2012 at 4:47 pm

The razor blade and coke on the desk have been removed?

YasserArraFeck May 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

They didn't let W play with sharp instruments – he nearly killed himself with a pretzel, after all. He might have decapitated himself with a razor.

12X34X May 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

That's an easy one. It's missing his beer bong.

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Someday that face will be on the 3 dollar bill.

SorosBot May 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Not the $9.11 bill like he wants?

MosesInvests May 31, 2012 at 5:38 pm

I think I see what you did there.

doloras May 31, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Harvey Milk is on the $3 bill.

Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I still have a Bill Clinton $3 bill. It was the last thing my dad ever gave me before he died, back in '95.

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 10:01 pm

i had one of those. Never could spend the damned thing. Not even at the gay shops.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 8:39 pm

Someday that face ass will be on the 3 dollar bill.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Someone email me when this shitstain is off the front page?

ghblowhard May 31, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Mission Accomplished?

widestanceromance May 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Iraqi orphans?

FakaktaSouth May 31, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Okay. Listen. This made me laugh the evil, terrible laugh of a person who has been abused – a person who lived thru a couple of terms with this guy that were NOT FUCKING FUNNY. You could only go thru all of this and end up here, laughing at this, if you had the shit kicked out of you by W like those of us aware of it did. I liked it, the feeling of laughing, and I appreciate it, but, much as I have felt ever since this guy left office, I need to take a bath of some sort now. But really, excellent work.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Is this like that monthly puzzle in My Weekly Reader, where they draw the animal faces and blend them into the background?

Osama bin Laden is hiding? The WMDs under the bookcase?

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:34 am

"Is this like that monthly puzzle in My Weekly Reader"

Yeah. Bush is Goofus.

JackDempsey1 May 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

There was a Supreme Court "tip jar" on the oval office desk.

majgenstanley May 31, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Either the painter got the proportions dreadfully wrong or this is the first portrayal we've seen of GWB's Presidential High Chair.

Clearly, the tray is down.

HempDogbane May 31, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Coke booger?

glamourdammerung May 31, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I am not sure how to add dignity to the picture with leaving a Bush shaped hole.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 31, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Bars.
~

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:03 pm

WIN!!

DaniloTifoso June 1, 2012 at 2:11 pm

WAY WIN!!! I am sad that i can only do one thumb. stupid inner webz….

chascates May 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

His records from the military?

NorthStarSpanx May 31, 2012 at 4:55 pm

A moran's brain?

edgydrifter May 31, 2012 at 4:56 pm

His "30 Days Sober" coin?

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Assumes facts not in evidence

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:34 am

Also, he'd try to peel the foil off it and eat the chocolate.

WhatTheHeck May 31, 2012 at 4:56 pm

What its missing is reality.

utterdregs May 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Dick Cheney's hand up his ass?

BloviateMe May 31, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Giulani, with his 9/11 tattered evening gown barely concealing his ample bosom and milky thighs, hanging off of him.

…or the dick thing. That's cool too.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 5:02 pm

You know, I'm out of tequila and vodka is just not going to wash this image away

edgydrifter May 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Muscular Jesus.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Needz moar 9/11!!!!!!!

OneYieldRegular May 31, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Well, for one thing, judging by what his right hand is resting on, a chair large enough to fit GWB's derriere. Nice martini goblet and set of Reader's Digest Condensed Books on the shelf, though.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I can't believe I'll be the first….

BLINGEE!!!!!!!!

real_dc_native May 31, 2012 at 6:51 pm

and TRUCKNUTZ!

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 31, 2012 at 5:00 pm

How about George Bush with some Saudi Prince's cock in his hand? Somebody please replace that chair with a Saudi guy, his skirts hiked up to his belly and Bush just giving him the handjob of his life. I would do it myself but I am more of an idea person. Oh, and I wouldn't know photoshop if it punched me in the face.

widestanceromance May 31, 2012 at 5:00 pm

A long form birth certificate?

GuyClinch May 31, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Knocked-over bowl of pretzels

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 5:03 pm

The NASCAR-like sponsor stickers all over his suit?

GlowneyHouse May 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm

The peanuts that almost killed him. I believe they are now in Guantanamo.

PeaceWithHonor May 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Stigmata

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Brews and bitches!

Billmatic May 31, 2012 at 5:07 pm

A bag of pretzels guys, GOD.

harobedyelsnit May 31, 2012 at 5:07 pm

What a crappy painting.

Schmannnity May 31, 2012 at 5:08 pm

More secret Masonic symbols!

Thedongsofwar May 31, 2012 at 5:12 pm

Red ink and Iraqi corpses?

chascates May 31, 2012 at 5:13 pm

From the Moonie Times on today's clusterfuck:
Now retired and living on his ranch in Crawford, Texas, far away from the media spotlight, Mr. Bush stole the show with his trademark jocularity . . .
No, he's living in Dallas. Laura hates the isolation of the ranch.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:06 pm

"Laura hates the isolation of the ranch."

Why in the hell wouldn't she? Stuck in the middle of nowhere with only that malicious imbecile to talk to — who wouldn't hate it?

wondering where i am May 31, 2012 at 8:10 pm

trademark jocularity . . . That's what it needs. A jocularity (huh?) trademark.

Dudleydidwrong May 31, 2012 at 9:46 pm

It is missing a jocularity strap.

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:31 pm

That's no fucking ranch, it was a pig farm out in south incendiary nowhere that they bought as a prop in 2000.
Bush is afraid of horses, only stayed there to get away from most reporters and to make the ones that has to stay with him as miserable as possible (no one clears brush in Crawford in August) and they both beat feet to Dallas and Civilization as soon as humanly possible after the inauguration.
There's probably a maid and a groundskeeper stationed there (both miserable) and the only one who visits is Laura when she needs a weekend to get the hell away from George when he's far gone on one of his slobbering, knee-crawling Wild Turkey orgies.

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:49 am

"Mr. Bush stole the show with his trademark jocularity"

Yup, that's our Bush — trademark jocularity. Why, sometimes, when he was talking about those dear little Iraqi civilians, he'd be laughing and giggling so much that he could barely get the words out. I guess when you're born with four-fifths of a brain, and then spend decades eating holes in even that with alcohol and drugs, all kinds of things are fucking hilarious.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 31, 2012 at 5:14 pm

But how does one paint Karl Rove's exceptionally small dick shoved up W's ass?

pinkoschminko May 31, 2012 at 5:15 pm

10-gallon booby hat!

ManchuCandidate May 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Sobbing G HW Bush and a Fetus Jar.

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:36 pm

Jarbara! Gold Star!

CarnyTrash May 31, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Hanging chads?

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Ah, so many memories.

beezie687 May 31, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Crocs with the Presidential seal? a Segway, tipped over in the corner? Strategerie?

M. Szyslak May 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Really captured the monkey face look. A FUCKING MASTERPIECE!

SorosBot May 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

He's missing the leash around his neck, and Cheney holding it.

Wadisay May 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

All the china should be broken, the background should be by Hieronymus Bosch, and Bush should have "666" on his forehead.

Antispandex May 31, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Dick?

ElPinche May 31, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Fire, wreckage, blood, and a steaming pile of shit:
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/129404596-miss-me

direct: http://image.blingee.com/images19/content/output/

SmutBoffin May 31, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Still better than McNaughton.

Samtzu23 May 31, 2012 at 5:25 pm

The painting over his right shoulder is of a horse thief stealing a horse up in the mountains…. It was mislabeled for decades…. was originally an illustration for a story in a pulp magazine….. I think in the story the guy gets shot out of the saddle later…. so, it is absolutely appropriate for this painting….

fartknocker May 31, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Him shaking former FEMA Director and American Arabian Horse GM Mike D. Brown hand while the New Orleans leevees are failing and announcing Good Job Brownie?

rickmaci May 31, 2012 at 5:31 pm

A sign of intelligent life?

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 5:32 pm

John Yoo crushing a child's testicles because "no law" can prevent the Exectuive from doing so?

fuflans May 31, 2012 at 5:33 pm

man reading these comments! bush years!!

good times!

Naked_Bunny May 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

They shoulda got Boris Vallejo to paint it.

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

I think of the Dubya-Cheney administration as more Hieronymus Bosch or Francisco Goya material. For a living artist, I think Odd Nedrum could capture the spirit best.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:11 pm

William Blake, George Grosz, Bosch, El Greco, and Michael Moorcock put together couldn't have adequately captured the combined horror and pathos.

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 8:27 pm

True, one couldn't really capture the essence of Dubya with anything that didn't leave a percentage of the viewers dead and maimed.

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm

A halo above W's head and Jesus in the background giving him two thumbs up?

Tundra Grifter May 31, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Did Laura Bush purchase that chair at a Kremlin yard sale?

James Michael Curley May 31, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Portrait of George Washington should be above that table and on the table a bust of Winston Churchill, and I think Obama restored things that way.

Weenus299 May 31, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Weppins of mazz destruction falling out of his butt. Oh, and the hilarious dead Abu Ghraib guy. Thumbs up!

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 6:41 pm

What no floating Katrina corpses?

smokefilledroommate May 31, 2012 at 6:23 pm

A big bowl of pretzels!

Weenus299 May 31, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Thomas Kincade would've just painted a gleaming 20-watt lightbulb and pasted Alfred E. Newman's picture on it. That would've been a better likeness.

moseyon May 31, 2012 at 6:28 pm

A halo :-)

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Katrina Levee Failure Floodlines. http://www.flickr.com/photos/infrogmation/4929055

rocktonsam May 31, 2012 at 6:37 pm

dignity ?

Pseudonymously_Joe May 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm

I actually have several good ideas for this, I just hope I'm sufficiently un-hung over to slap them together, and also remember how to work GIMP.

Pseudonymously_Joe May 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Jesus handing him the Constitution?

WIDTAP May 31, 2012 at 6:48 pm

A pretzel.

CountryClubJihadi May 31, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Kanye West. And maybe a bunk bed with Charles Taylor on top.

TanzbodenKoenig May 31, 2012 at 7:12 pm

Jar Jar Bush?

Rotundo_ May 31, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Maybe it's just me, but he looks like he's had more than a couple of brewskis or shots or something. The artist captured his "stoned or stupid" look perfectly. Future generations will look at these and say "Now that one looks like he was halfway pissed when they painted that." I predict he will get higher buffoon points than Harding in good time when all the white male racist idiots go extinct.

tessiee June 1, 2012 at 12:42 am

That red-faced look, even in a supposedly flattering official portrait, just has "dry drunk" written all over it, too.

shortsandpants May 31, 2012 at 7:19 pm

"That paint better be oil-based and subsidized, dammit."

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 7:55 pm

The blood on his hands?

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 7:55 pm

The part where he's pointing to a burning Constitution?

GeneralLerong June 1, 2012 at 12:52 am

Check out El Pinche's awesome Blingee. I chew the desk in jealousy.
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/129404596-miss-me

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Cheney's hand up his ass?
Although I will say, I used to enjoy the part where w spoke while cheney drank a glass of water.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Something something Thomas Kincaid?

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Competence.

Respect.

Photos of:
* Clearing brush in Crawford
*The World Trade Center
*Golfing ("Now watch this drive!")
* Flag-draped coffins, Dover AFB
*Looking for WMD under the desk
* Flying over a devastated New Orleans days after Katrina
*Obviously plastered GWB at the Chinese Summer Olympics

An Orange Jump Suit.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Jizz on his chin from the Saudi royal family?

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Hey, don't be hatin' just cause he's a Petro-Sexual.

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Tequila slammers throw-up and stripper glitter?

mayor_quimby June 1, 2012 at 12:45 am

That goddam glitter do not wanna come off!

tessiee May 31, 2012 at 8:12 pm

A chair for w to stand on, a black cloth hood covering his head, and electrodes attached to his little thingies?

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:20 pm

Banquo's ghost?

Infrogmation May 31, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I hope J. K. Potter enters this contest. http://www.jkpotter.com/

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:35 pm
C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:37 pm

A video loop in the background of Osama bin Forgotten

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:38 pm

The little American Flag lapel pin should be flying upside down.

crybabyboehner May 31, 2012 at 8:39 pm

A nametag: "Hello my name is: The Decider"

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:43 pm

A 3/4 empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the desk and white powder residue all over his nostrils.

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:43 pm

An Alien facehugger.

Buckminster May 31, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Turkey nibbling at his crotch? Sorry, I know it was a long time ago.

Buckminster May 31, 2012 at 8:48 pm
C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Chauncey Gardener?

Oh, right. Never mind.

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I see that A Charge To Keep, the painting of a horse thief that Bush misinterpreted as something noble made it in.
I think it's appropriate that the American Flag did not.

TribecaMike May 31, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Oh goody, I love hidden object games!

BlueStateLibel May 31, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Did they bring Goya back from the dead to paint that?! It looks like it was deliberately meant to mock him. I wouldn't be surprised if the artist stashed a hacked-up piece of pretzel somewhere in that painting.

ttommyunger May 31, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Cheney's balls on his chin?

Dudleydidwrong May 31, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Portraits of the previous 42 occupants of the WH–retching into basins and porcelain altars. (OK, #41 probably would opt out. Or maybe not…)

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 9:55 pm

What the painting needs is some proper perspective of the chair he's leaning on. Either that, or the White House really does have a chair designed by Salvador Dali.

What, did they get the "Obama burning the Constitution" artist to paint it?

rocktonsam May 31, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I know whats missing, a lapel pin with the name of every solider that died or was injured because of the stupid fricken war on terror. Each pin on his jacket would kind of look like the Ohio State football helmets.with all those stickers awarded for excellence.

and the same amount of integrity also

DahBoner May 31, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Nothing!

He's got the entire collection of Fart Joke books on that shelf….

Beowoof May 31, 2012 at 10:10 pm

A bowl of pretzels on the desk would have been a nice touch.

vtxmcrider June 1, 2012 at 12:05 am

Along with an overturned coffee table and a shiner on his eye.

iburl June 1, 2012 at 1:48 am

I got the pretzels in there

Arken May 31, 2012 at 10:27 pm

The rest of the dogs and the poker table.

Arken May 31, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Re the update: Jeez, fine, here- http://i.imgur.com/GWe88.png

GeneralLerong June 1, 2012 at 12:55 am

Mission Accomplished!

Barb May 31, 2012 at 11:42 pm

I sent mine!

vtxmcrider June 1, 2012 at 12:06 am

All his framed military awards on the wall.

Nostrildamus June 1, 2012 at 12:38 am
BTWBFDIMHO June 1, 2012 at 1:16 am
Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:17 am

You're not the boss of me, Rebecca! Imma shout nouns if I want to!

The picture is missing crayons, a slinky, Lyndie England giving the double-thumbs-up, a picture of Dogs Playing Poker hanging above the Resolute desk, and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Oh, and the ghosts of hundreds-of-thousands Iraqi citizens. Also. Too.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 8:41 am

Oh, and something that personifies unapologetic hubris. Maybe a King James Bible or something.

iburl June 1, 2012 at 1:48 am

This should be fun. My entry is pretty conventional, hopefully it makes the cut.

thatsitfortheother1 June 1, 2012 at 5:32 am

The René Magritte cutout treatment?

Smithboy June 1, 2012 at 7:31 am

I suppose the flag he desecrated would be the obvious answer, however I hope to live long enough to seem him in a mug shot after he is successfuly tried as a war criminal.

Pseudonymously_Joe June 1, 2012 at 8:28 am

I couldn't settle for just one, so:
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-K9b2kVq99wE/T8
In this one, Dubya is returning the US constitution, now that he's done with it. His words may say that it was like that when he got here, but his sly smirk implies that both you and he know otherwise. Also, there's a Weeping Eagle watermark, which represents America, because 9/11.
https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/–GKimNwtRKI/T8
This one represents the various successes of the Bush presidency

And finally, https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-l3zqk3Bjwmk/T8
This one represents how George Bush in Gitmo forever for war crimes, the end.

C_R_Eature June 1, 2012 at 8:37 am

The Eagle embroidered on that chair needs to be replaced with This.

Chick-Fil-Atheistâ„¢ June 1, 2012 at 9:26 am

Was this painting done by the guy who showed Barry burning the Constipation?

NippleHair June 1, 2012 at 11:59 am

I think it's missing…a noun! NOUN

notanncoulter June 1, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Needs.
Moar.
Cock.

scvirginia June 2, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Only 199 comments? Okay, I'll just mention that I liked Craig Ferguson's mention of the painting when he remarked that after it was hanging, you could see Cheney's eyes in the eyeholes following everyone around the room…

Extemporanus June 6, 2012 at 5:15 pm

By popular confusion, and as promised for posterity, I hereby present the complete list of visually depicted Wonketteer wit:

1. Codpiece
2. Jarbara (aka "JarJar") Bush
3. Hitler [Sharpie 'stache, natch]
4. "The Pet Goat", from Reading Mastery II: Storybook 1
5. Orange jumpsuit [emphasis on the "suit"]
6. Ball gag [represented by a more easily 'Shopped studded collar]
7. American flag [doormat shares chair's Dalí-esque perspective]
8. Swastika carved in forehead
9. Cocaine and razor blade
10. Beer bong [hey Mittborg...drink! drink! drink!]
11. "Mission Accomplished"
12. Iraqi orphan/corpse
13. Military records and awards
14. Coke booger
15. "30 Days Sober" coin
16. 9/11
17. TruckNutz [bronzed]
18. Bowl of pretzels
19. Stigmata [must credit PeaceWithHonor!]
20. Masonic symbols
21. 10-gallon booby hat
22. Red ink [see: "16. 9/11"]
23. Leash held by Cheney
24. "666" on forehead
25. "Thumbs-Up" Jesus
26. Halfway-pissed, red-faced, dry drunk look
27. Blood on hands
28. Jizz on chin
29. Upside-down flag pin
30. "HELLO My Name Is: The Decider" name tag
31. Bottle of Jack Daniels
32. Shiner
33. Dogs Playing Poker painting
34. Lynndie England [on classy black velvet]

In regards to all the "Hurricane Katrina/Kanye West" suggestions: This desecration of the official George W. Bush White House portrait doesn't care about black people.

PuckStopsHere June 6, 2012 at 7:54 pm

Congratulations on getting the last word, and the best word!

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