We Can Now Identify History’s Dumbest Political Campaign Spokesman

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Here he is, it is this guy pictured at left. This is Jay Townsend, campaign spokesman for GOP Rep. Nan Hayworth, the communications genius who managed to join a seemingly innocuous Facebook comment thread about falling gas prices on the “NY19 U.S. House of Representatives Civil Discussion Center” page and somehow abuse enough inhalants at such breakneck speed that he got around to posting the actual words “Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who won’t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector” by only the fifth comment down. We mention the inhalants only because we assume that a professional campaign spokesperson would have to be operating in a state of temporary brain death to give his opponents such a large, free gift.

The comment is still there, on Facebook. Jay Townsend either loves his proposal too much to delete it, or Jay Townsend is the only professional campaign spokesman in America who has not yet figured out how to delete Facebook comments:

He is then scolded by the moderator, for being an idiot:

REBUTTAL:

He is a prickly one, that one! “Prickly” is always such a great qualification for any sort of paid public communicator job. We bet they bring coolers full of blood transfusions to his press conferences, what fun! [TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 161 comments }

nounverb911 May 31, 2012 at 5:32 pm

He looks like he's sitting on a Koch brother.

HogeyeGrex May 31, 2012 at 6:09 pm

More like Satan's razor-barbed dick.

Oh. You said that already.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 31, 2012 at 5:34 pm

He must have taken the brown acid.
~

bumfug May 31, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Jesus, it gets even weirder – I posted the quote from the same page as your link on a friend's Facebook page today.

M. Bouffant May 31, 2012 at 6:30 pm

It's a small Internet after all.

memzilla May 31, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Hey, it's not like he was chewing anyone's face off!

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Or nom nomming on someone's brain and heart. Zombies are all around now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/alexande

WunkRocker May 31, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Shit, it is still up. Just wow.

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 9:21 pm

This is what we get for ignoring the prophecies of George Romero.

HogeyeGrex May 31, 2012 at 6:13 pm

I don't know. He seems more like the "Whites Only" acid type.

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 7:07 pm

If only people would listen to Wavy Gravy, man. Stay away from the bad acid!

bumfug May 31, 2012 at 5:35 pm

It wasn't inhalants – sounds like this dipshit ignored the warnings and took the brown acid himself.

Edit: Christ, Thunder, how'd you beat me to that?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 31, 2012 at 5:46 pm
ph7 May 31, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Kind of a stretch.

Maman May 31, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Buzz buzz, me thinks acid hurling is most uncivil, but then I am not a politician so I don't have my head up my ass.

mrpuma2u May 31, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Huffing dumbass sezwut?

chascates May 31, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Or, as the standard wing-nut rebuttal has it: it's just a joke, doesn't anyone have a sense of humor since that darkie took office?

memzilla May 31, 2012 at 5:58 pm

"I apologize if you were offended" as opposed to "I apologize for what I said."

Standard Rethuglican playbook.

WunkRocker May 31, 2012 at 9:27 pm

He specifically targeted a group in his suggestion. He defined a specific violent attack that has been perpetrated against women in other countries. It is hate speech. Fuckin' plunger fuck him in some Queens station house. Then ship his happy ass to rikers.

An_Outhouse June 1, 2012 at 8:33 am

I was thinking chemical castration would be appropriate since he brought it up.

Exhausted66 May 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Are there Spring Break or Halloween pictures on NY19 U.S. House of Representatives Civil Discussion Center's facebook page?

Because it seems these people are doing facebook wrong.

Andrew Drinker June 1, 2012 at 12:09 pm

MOAR DUCKFACE

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Your 'civil discussion center' isn't very civil and it only took a couple postings for me to make that point.

Clearly, a student of JO'Ke. In order to prove how the center wasn't very civil, he engaged in grotesque incivility in the center.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I can just see his next antic. "Well officer, your ' School Zone – 20 MPH while children are present' wasn't very effective and it only took me driving through at 110 and running over all of those kindergarteners while I was in the depths of an ether binge for me to make that point."

WunkRocker May 31, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Heyyyy JT. What if I kill you and everyone in your family with a rusty corkscrew? Let's keep it civil now.

glamourdammerung May 31, 2012 at 7:05 pm

There was a conservative "journalist" that pulled that stupidity here a while back.

Though I have to admit, I prefer the Republican tactic of "insult everyone, then cry about how they are mean to you for no reason" than most of their nonsense since there is usually no overt racism/biogtry or violent threats for a change.

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 7:24 pm

Anyone who can't find incivility such as, say, skullfucking, on Wonkette without having first to provoke it by being an asshole themselves has absolutely no right to call themselves a journalist.

edgydrifter May 31, 2012 at 5:40 pm

It's settled then: We must chemically disfigure women to honor the troops.
Because freedom.
So obvious.

NorthStarSpanx May 31, 2012 at 7:57 pm

And if a conservative free market patriot is too squeamish to throw acid in this squirmish, they can always do the Palin Throat Punch.

MosesInvests May 31, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Or the Rand Paul Head Stomp.

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:39 pm

Is this why the Taliban hate us?

neiltheblaze May 31, 2012 at 5:41 pm

One day he hopes to be the next Ari Fleisher.

timbo71351 May 31, 2012 at 5:42 pm

If there's any justice, this dumbass gets bounced out of his job by the end of the day.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm

And Nan Hayworth will lose re-election.

poorgradstudent May 31, 2012 at 5:43 pm

But who wouldn't want to get paid for trolling people on Facebook?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 31, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Someone is auditioning to be a new Wonkette writer!

Mittens Howell, III May 31, 2012 at 5:43 pm

See? It's not a 'War On Women', just a little 'Acid Tossing Hi-jinks'.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Missed it by 'that much'.

Mittens Howell, III May 31, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Republicans are becoming the naked face-eaters of Politics.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 5:46 pm

No War on Women here.

BarackMyWorld May 31, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Speaking of campaign surrogates "going rogue"…

Mass. Gov. Deval Patrick defends Boston-based Bain Capital http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/31/deval-pa

No comment yet from Cory Booker.

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Pretty weak stuff from a Huffpo writer looking for hits. This and the next quote are the sum total of the "defence":

"I've got a lot of friends there," he said on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," calling Bain "a perfectly fine company" with "a role to play in the private economy."

Obama's not going to deny that they have a role to play, just that they're not job creators, and the activities they engage in are not, contrary to what Romney keeps insisting, particularly good preparation for being President. And indeed, that's just how Patrick puts it, more or less:

"I think the Bain strategy has been distorted in some of the public discussions," said Patrick. "I think the issue isn't about Bain. I think it's about whether [Romney has] accomplished, in either his public or private life, the kinds of things he wants to accomplish for the United States."

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 9:00 pm

A disappointing bit of overstatement from Zach Carter, amplified by the traditional Huffypoo "gotcha" headline.

SexySmurf May 31, 2012 at 5:47 pm

In his defense, I believe the 19th Congressional district of New York includes Lahore, so he's just playing to the base.

weejee May 31, 2012 at 5:59 pm

It was a Punjab? Ol' Jay can't Pakistan-stand D'Rat womenz Senators like our beloved Patty Murray shown in his Facialpage? Acid indeed, Senator Patty will flatten him with a caustic retort.

SexySmurf May 31, 2012 at 6:13 pm

Patty would break her tennis shoe off in his ass.

WhatTheHeck May 31, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Insensitive oaf.

sharethegrief May 31, 2012 at 5:48 pm

He's the reason those silica gel packs have the warning 'Not For Human Consumption.'

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Yeah, but he eats them anyways while screaming "Damn liberals, I'll throw acid in your face if you try to tell me what not to eat!"

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 6:59 pm

And when he screws lightbulbs into his ears and ass, they are always incandescent. No fluorescent crap for that patriot!

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 9:38 pm

He has the worst Uncle Fester impression.

NYNYNYjr June 1, 2012 at 2:49 am

"I don't know what 'consumption' means, but this stuff tastes great. Wheeeoo. Well, I better get online and troll discussion groups."

fuflans May 31, 2012 at 5:48 pm

the job he is creatin will be his own replacement

SayItWithWookies May 31, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Your 'civil discussion center' isn't very civil and it only took a couple postings for me to make that point.

Oh, a real student of the Republican rebuttal to President Obama's promise to be bipartisan. I guess Mr. Townsend would rather be principled than have a discussion, though — just like the Taliban.

qwerty42 May 31, 2012 at 5:53 pm


Let’s hurl some acid at those female democratic Senators who won’t abide the mandates they want to impose on the private sector.

Yes, let's do so. It would be ever so much fun.
Oh, this was just "harmless joshing", and not a threat upon "those female democratic Senators"? Well, that's different. I don't see how it could have been misunderstood.
And re: the private sector: anyone who said this in any kind of setting would be fired for cause. Maybe Mr. Townsend isn't familiar with the private sector he speaks so fondly of. Perhaps he should get a real job.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 31, 2012 at 6:06 pm

That is a really good point that none of these leaches seem to get. If I ever threatened that sort of violence on a co worker, even in jest, I would be not only out of a job but probably unemployable in my industry.

qwerty42 May 31, 2012 at 6:24 pm

And what kind of person even thinks of throwing acid on people? Is he learning this from the Taliban?

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 31, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Rush Limbaugh comments that it's just like frat hazing.

SorosBot May 31, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Or the Joker.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Back when I was a middle manager, if someone in my organization said something like that, I would have fired him or her. But, more to the point, if for some reason I did not do so, I would have been fired the next day.

These assholes really should get a fucking job.

Mittens Howell, III May 31, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Eeew–that is one 'Creepy Boy-Scout Leader' face.

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 10:11 pm

I hear his diocese paid him good money to leave voluntarily.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Miche1e is now trying to figure out how to highlight comments on FB.

Boojum June 1, 2012 at 6:31 am

Easy. Write on the screen with your highlighter pen.

Dashboard Buddha May 31, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I think I have these folks figured out, what with their "throw acid" and "surveyor marks". They are hoping that some unhinged lunatic out there will actually attack their political enemies. That way, opponent removed, plausible deniability engaged. I would bet real money that when Gabby Giffords got shot, there were high-fives in the halls of GOP leadership.

glamourdammerung May 31, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Three years ago today, George Tiller was murdered by a Republican that was put up to it by folks like Bill O'Reilly.

They figured this out a while back.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Hmm… I wonder how this would go over among the GOPtards:

"Hey, Townsend: somebody should attach a bomb to your car. Figuratively speaking."

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 6:34 pm

It always bears remembering, the standing Supreme Court precedent surrounding the First Amendment would very likely have protected Radio Rwanda from prosecution. Sometimes I think elements on the right have been studying their example.

SpeedoFart May 31, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Christ, what an asshole.

BigSkullF*ckingDog May 31, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Let's all hurl acid at his junk.

weejee May 31, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Awfully small target doncha think BSFD? Maybe if we use extreme water blaster cannons.

Callyson May 31, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Usually, the first thing the wingnuts point to when they go on about Islamic terrorists is the acid throwing.

IOKIYAR, yet again…

Asshole.

succalina May 31, 2012 at 6:54 pm

The book Michele was reading on the plane is spot on! Sharia Law is now being practiced in the good ole USA – and even GOP spokesdicks have already been brainwashed!

HogeyeGrex May 31, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Acid, huh? Why does Jay Townsend want to force Sharia Law down our throats?

DahBoner June 1, 2012 at 8:34 am

Grateful Dead Law.

Wonderthing May 31, 2012 at 6:11 pm

They eat their own, but then they don't like the taste.

AddHomonym May 31, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Needz moar LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!

LetUsBray May 31, 2012 at 6:17 pm

This isn't exactly convincing me that comparing the Republicans with the Taliban is unfair.

Fairtackle May 31, 2012 at 6:17 pm

He is a prickly one, that one!

mmm, prickey I'd say.

Antispandex May 31, 2012 at 6:19 pm

That's what happens when you let the womens vote, and wear whatever they want, and go to school, and like that. Bunch of uppity females criticizing a hero just for his free speech and stuff! I say let him speak! If the voters are smart enough to elect a truth teller like this, they are getting what they paid for!

Goonemeritus May 31, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I’m sure he meant surveyors acid.

glamourdammerung May 31, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Townsend merely meant that they wanted to burn those pesky women's faces and disfigure them with votes.

StealthMuslin May 31, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Home Depot has fewer tools than the Republican party.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:09 am

Exactly. Everyone knows that "acid" is slang for votes among the kids, these days.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Mitt Romney would not have chosen those exact words.

CommieLibunatic May 31, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Sometimes, I worry that I sound dumb on Facebook. Mouth-breathing caricatures of people like this guy prove me wrong(-ish).

cheetojeebus May 31, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Man, Bath salts are whack.

glamourdammerung May 31, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I am looking forward to hearing how this is President Obama's fault.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 31, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Well this is an education: The semi-literate, hate-filled racist goobers we always thought were responsible for those horrid posts on Yahoo! News, BrightFart, and other internet cesspools, might in fact be nominally adult "spokesmen" and other official GOP flacks and functionaries. And we thought it was just their "base".

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 7:08 pm

In the interest of this sacred holiday I am celebrating the sacrifce made so that might might have the freedom to express our views.

See sheeple? He's just honoring the troops. If you hate throwing acid on females than you hate the troops. Shame on you!

SorosBot May 31, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Have you ever voted for a female Democrat? Then you hate the troops!

NorthStarSpanx May 31, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Even if they've sacrificed their limbs for freedom. Tammy Duckworth, socialist!

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:10 am

BTW, am I the only one a bit annoyed by him calling it a "sacred holiday", and am I the only one who was in total agreement with Chris Hayes when he made his "gaffe" the other day?

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:36 am

No.

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 2:42 am

No. Fuck this goddamned piece of shit, he's a lazy, useless coward and hopefully he'll drag Nan Hayworth down with him.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 8:31 am

Thanks for that. To me, the military is not a religion, and is thus not something worthy of worship in a religious sense. In fact, if I were religious, I'd think I'd find this hero-worship rather blasphemous. Both of my grandfathers served in the military (one air force and one army), and this melding of religion with it makes me ill.

BlueStateLibel May 31, 2012 at 7:17 pm

American Taliban wants to adopt the brutal practices of the Afghani Taliban, who would have thought?

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 9:34 pm

See? Sharia really HAS infiltrated the U.S!!
Time to wake up, you Muslumic-lovin', libtanic Democats!

(Been workin' on my RW gibberish/misspellings)

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I have to wonder if Nan Hayworth is going to follow the advice found on this page at the website for Jay Townsend's political consulting firm.

http://jaytownsend.com/campaign-and-communication

What do you do when a prominent supporter says something idiotic?

You have about three seconds to put some distance between yourself and the idiot.

You can also sign up for Jay's free e-book 10 Worst Mistakes Candidate Make. I'm not making this up. Go check it out.

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 7:33 pm

It sounds like a pretty engaging and useful book, but I'm too busy reading Rick Perry's How to be a Master of Political Debate.

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Titled: "Oops"

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 10:02 pm

After you complete this reading exercise, will you be a Master Politician?

gurukalehuru June 1, 2012 at 2:00 am

At the very least, a master de bater

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:40 pm

Second edition: 11 Worst Mistakes Candidates Make

Biel_ze_Bubba June 2, 2012 at 12:10 pm

#11: Employing a moron (like, say, Jay Townsend) as your campaign spokesman.

Buckminster June 1, 2012 at 11:52 am

Subtitled, "Me and My Big Mouth: Why Politicos Should Never Post While Drunk."

Rotundo_ May 31, 2012 at 7:31 pm

He does have that "wound up just a couple of notches past tight" look that makes you want to keep your kids, pets, significant others, relatives, neighbors and most of humanity away from. Bet he's a real hoot with a few beers in him, I'll bet that would shake all those little demons loose from his pointy little head.

NYNYNYjr June 1, 2012 at 2:55 am

Yeah, beer number three: "You know what really bugs me? I mean, I have jewish friends and all, but…"

Generation[redacted] May 31, 2012 at 7:39 pm

This guy has been huffing the Jenkem, or as kids call it today, "chasing the fudge dragon"

Butch_Wagstaff May 31, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Huh. I love learning something new everyday. Thankya!

Boojum June 1, 2012 at 6:40 am

Or "butt hash".

DerrickWildcat May 31, 2012 at 7:46 pm

This is why Right-Wing comedy shows don't fair very well.

miss_grundy May 31, 2012 at 7:51 pm

I live in Michigan and I can tell you two things about Republicans: 1) they are stupid and 2) they are lazy. A case in point, that has nothing to do with this article but is breaking news here in southeastern Michigan is that Thaddeus McCotter, who tried running for President last year and nobody noticed has his district "gerrymandered", meaning remapped, here in Michigan. The Repub has beaten his opponents and has been "returned" to Congress about five times already. He was supposed to be in a "safe" Repub seat. He had to hand in between 1,000 to 2,000 signatures to the electoral board for his name to be on the ballot in August for a primary election. He handed in over 1237 signatures and the board found that 87% of them were invalid. Why? Because the bone-heads who worked for him didn't go out and get those signatures, they COPIED and PASTED signatures from the past and changed the line numbers. So, now he has to fund a write-in campaign to win the primary in August. And where are the Dems? Because now they are in the perfect position to run a candidate and there isn't one in sight. What the h@[[???

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I don't suppose that the Michigan Elections Board (or whatever it may be called) is going to have a stern word with them about this actual election fraud, are they?

miss_grundy May 31, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Heck no! Thad is going to be a write-in candidate and according to Michigan law you don't even need to spell his name correctly for it to count as a write-in. Isn't that special?

Boojum June 1, 2012 at 6:42 am

So, "Buttcrack McFuckwad" is a vote for Thad McCotter?

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:12 am

No, but the state AG actually announced that he's launching a formal investigation into this, which is a good first step. There won't be another step, though, because they are all hacks, even though it's obvious that this was blatant election fraud.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 1, 2012 at 2:41 am

Is nobody annoyed enough by this blatant subversion of the American political system to do shit about it?

I guess not.

Apathy bred from over-saturation of bullshit from TV, I suppose. Not that this obviously illegal move would make the evening news, because meh.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 8:38 am

I was surprised by how candid the Secretary of State's office was in calling this apparent fraud, and then to have the hack AG take it upis nothing short of amazing seeing as how incredibly partisan politics have become in this state.

It's my feeling that this fraud may be so blantant that they won't have any choice but to make an example of him. It doesn't hurt that he's not particularly well like in his own party, so I'm holding out hope.

anniegetyerfun May 31, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Well, the Republicans might be dumb and lazy, but the Dems are pussies. It has always been thus.

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 2:55 am

No shit. There are times when I hate the Democrats for their weakness almost as much as I hate the Republicans for being hypocritical, whining, lazy, stupid, corrupt, good-for-nothing, ignorant human garbage. Where the fuck are the Democrats like Harry S. Truman or Lyndon Johnson, guys who didn't take any shit off of the Republicans?

Phoenix Woman June 2, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Actually, there are two Dems running, and one of them, Dr. Syed Taj, is actually a pretty good guy: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/11/03/1032850/

Donate to him here: https://secure.actblue.com/entity/fundraiser/3024

C_R_Eature May 31, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Is he related to Bruce Majors?

ttommyunger May 31, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I would still vote for Dana Perino.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 10:06 pm

If by "vote for", you mean ___________.

ttommyunger May 31, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Dumbest spokesperson, human being, etc.

TribecaMike May 31, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Mr. Townsend was later spotted snogging with state senator Ruben Diaz in the backseat of a Ford Explorer.

VicariousMe May 31, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Now, where was the outrage when we learned that gay marriage is being forced down the Fed's throat by mandate? Just like one doesn't have to gay marry if he doesn't want to, one doesn't have to hurl acid at womenfolk if they don't want to. It's science.

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 10:17 pm

He's too old to realize that, on the internet, acid isn't the fluid people want to see on women's faces.

mrblifil June 1, 2012 at 12:45 am

Unless you mean amino acids.

George Skullfry May 31, 2012 at 10:44 pm

I have a personal theory that anyone, who applies the adjective "sacred" to a thing or event that memorializes the military, never served in the military. Patriotism is not sacred.

I note that this bozo is one more mark in the "confirmed" column.

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 2:39 am

Yeah, did you notice that asswipe then put some bullshit link up to the West Point Choir or some goddamned thing. What a whiny little fuck. Why are we letting these lazy, stupid, cowardly fucks ruin our country?

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:41 am

We're law-abiding? We're too stupid to vote? Fuck if I know.

Negropolis May 31, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Wait, aren't campaign spokespersons supposed to be young'uns, so that they can plead youthful ignorance when they fuck up? What's his excuse?

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Small penis, big mouth.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 1:13 am

You mean to tell me that you don't get over that after a certain age?

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:43 am

You may have hit upon a discriminant for Republicans.

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I think the Republicans are trying a new tactic and having oldz be campaign spokesmen so that when they fuck up they can claim Alzheimer's.

aklibtard May 31, 2012 at 11:09 pm

Don't you know brave people died so that old men could flippantly joke about disfiguring women with acid?! Read a history book

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I think this was one of the causes of the war against the states….. cause Slavery wasn't one.

alteredimages May 31, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Plan: lock this comedian in a windowless room. Across him sits Gabby Giffords. She says nothing to him, just glares. He looks back, averts his eyes, coughs. He waits. She says nothing. He waits. He waits. At last she says, with effort, "How have you helped the level of discourse?"

The door opens and she is escorted out. He is left there.

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:37 pm

He'd probably just mutter something about stupid bitches and arrogant Kenyans.

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:44 am

Then a trapdoor opens in the ceiling, and I poop on him.

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 3:07 am

Plan 2. Send Jay's ass to Iran. They know how to deal with acid throwers there.

Ryy May 31, 2012 at 11:35 pm

So according to his last post, American men and women died in combat so that angry old white men could ask people to throw acid on the faces of American women?

I am pretty sure that was not in the recruitment brochure, nor was it mentioned in the cool commercial where the knight morphed into a modern day Marine.

Steverino247 May 31, 2012 at 11:53 pm

He looks like the idiot bastard son of Dwight Eisenhower.

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:45 am

And, I'm sorry to say, Johnny Carson.

angelfoot May 31, 2012 at 11:55 pm

In all fairness Tom did acidly hurl on Townsend in his post, and reading the exchange it seems like dear "Tony McTonedeaf" was suggesting that Tom redirect his vitriol in another direction. But sweet, sweet, Bejeebus, what kind of "spokesperson" commits to language like that? Nan better stock up on the Tums.

mrblifil June 1, 2012 at 12:47 am

If we throw him some deoxyribonucleic acid he might end up with enough to replace that missing chromosome.

gurukalehuru June 1, 2012 at 2:07 am

Prior to the serious nastiness, there was the opening sentence. "Listen to Tom. What a little bee he has in his bonnet. Buzz buzz." Condescending prick.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb June 1, 2012 at 2:44 am

Not only that, but it's weak water when it comes to put-downs written in unprofane language. The fellow is a baby in a game for the literate.

aklibtard June 1, 2012 at 7:49 am

Not to mention that it's total geh to talk about bees and bonnets and buzzing when referring to other guys.

Terry June 1, 2012 at 7:32 am

So, this guy is apparently looking to the Taliban for tips on civilized behavior?

Jus_Wonderin June 1, 2012 at 8:19 am

This is kind of a….just wow moment for me.

SaintRond June 1, 2012 at 8:20 am

Yes, I agree. He may be incredibly stupid, but he's so nice.

DahBoner June 1, 2012 at 8:37 am

"Might might have the freedom to express our views "

Is English our official language, yet yet?

ShreditorsDesk June 1, 2012 at 11:21 am

He has totally flunked his electric koolade acid test.

Buckminster June 1, 2012 at 11:49 am

Boy, he really is a scheisskopf, isn't he?

Wile E. Quixote June 1, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Und auch eine Ziegeficker!

Joey_Blau June 1, 2012 at 3:32 pm

sacred holiday?? really… and "so that might might have the freedom"

people iz weird.

arcadesproject June 1, 2012 at 7:07 pm

OK, so he advocated throwing acid at Democratic Senators. At least he didn't say 'Democrat' Senators.

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