And this is a painting of George W. Bush, as unveiled at a White House ceremony that just wrapped up. Look at ‘im. He’s like, “Boy howdy don’t I look good, hummina hummina.” And no, it wasn’t “awkward,” this ceremony. Some folks have suggested that the atmosphere might be uncomfortable since Barack Obama has been known to criticize George W. Bush’s record on the campaign trail. As if Bush gives a crap? No, they just told jokes and everyone had a laugh, ha ha ha, like that.
Laura Bush got a painting too! Her facial expression says, “I love abortion and gays and cigarettes and pills and am a Democrat, but being a Republican first lady is also fun.” Your Wonkette would kill to be a Republican first lady. Think of all the money and shit you’d get afterwards, right?
But man oh man, if Obama weren’t such a SELLOUT, he would’ve arrested the whole room! Karl Rove was there, Alberto Gonzalez was there. George W. Bush was there. And there’s Tom Ridge and Dana Perino! Arrest Dana Perino first, for laughs.
Again, the face of the Greatest American Hero Ever:
Sadly, it’s time to go back to Texas now. Bye George W. Bush! (Seriously, just leave now.)
{ 167 comments }
All hat, no cattle.
All asshat, no cattle.
Fixed.
This should dispel the myth of the UN's black helicopters forever… because if they had them, surely they would have airlifted in a SWAT team and renditioned the entire guest list right off to The Hague for prosecution.
You keep thinking that good is rewarded in this world and evil punished! It's SO charmingly naive!
Also, teh logic: Do you think the asshats who think the UN has black helicopters are persuaded by anything LIKE logic?
All jock, no cock.
What is that little dribble of pearlescent stuff coming out of the corner of his mouth?
Cheney shot him in the face too?
A chocolate-covered pretzel, prolly.
Satan's cum.
Liquid smirk.
Any official portrait of W should be painted on black velvet.
Fat W or early W?
Elvis Presley libel.
In a codpiece?
Should be painted in shit. That's the only medium sufficient to express the world's sentiments about that worthless failure.
Blood and viscera work pretty well.
One million Iraqis' worth.
I was just going to say "the blood of innocents".
Joe Biden already called dibs on that.
I like the touch of rosacea on the cheeks and chin. Liquor or "clearing the back 40" induced?
Liquor. Absolutely. You can smell it wafting off the painting.
I'm going with "bar tan."
They did a nice job fancying up the basement janitor's closet.
If you look closely at the images of George and Laura, you can see that it was created with glue and blown chads.
If you look over his shoulder you can see a jar on top shelf. Must be a family portrait.
Ah, done in that late 19th, early 20th century technique Nopointellism.
Sir, I am struck dumb with found. That was brilliant.
Seurat libel!
Lucky Chad
That's the expression of a man who has Dick Cheney's hand up his ass.
Should have said on the bottom
Wanted: For War Crimes
Dead or Alive
Perhaps, "The lone and level sands stretch far away."
What, no "Still Life With Pretzel"?
Damn you! I thought of that. Funny.
I think the plate in the background use to hold the pretzels.
Too bad it's not "Still Dead With Pretzel"
Not that I, you know, wish that on our former President, Mr Secret Service agent. Please feel some Relief.
Altho, in fairness, even W had to be wry today:
Not still enough.
They captured the chronic alcoholic look quite nicely.
Hey, this is Wonkette. We don't gather here to discus W's better points.
He doesn't look like a war criminal. Just goes to show you can't judge a murderous traitor by his official White House portrait.
Don't let the Lincoln Memorial hit you in the ass on the way out.
Is it a Kincade?
Think of the bar tab for that session.
Does it show a sadistic light in his eyes?
I prefer the Bob Ross version.
Bob Ross Libel! He had standards.
Yes! He painted squirrels, not nuts!
Obviously not. Kinkade didn't paint humans, just isolated cottages lit from within. It's all metaphysical because Jesus is a shelter where you go to get away from other humans. Also a place to go if you want to get drunk, laid by your mistress.
Only the brush of a Jon McNaughton could capture the true essence of this man.
No kin o' mine, and that's all I care about.
In that painting, I like the painting of the Pony Express rider behind him, but that's about it.
Currently working on my own 'vomit by numbers' portrait of W.
Great flash mob idea.
His head looks like a 3D flic when you take the glasses off…
I hear he did better on the SAT's than over half of the creatures living in my pond.
You don't have to defend him anymore.
Wow, I didn't even know pond scum was allowed to take the SATs.
The cluelessness, the vapidity, the stupid, brutal, willful ignorance, it's all right there. Captured it perfectly.
The portraitist is a genius. Should be given a medal or something.
What me worry?
Alfred E. Neuman libel.
needz fewer urns, more fetus jars
For Barbara Bush's portrait, they just took an old one of George Washington and added lots and lots of wrinkles.
You are making me snortle. Monitor, right is bespeckled.
I thought that was the Quaker Oats guy's portrait, touched up?
What? No flight suit?
Truly. They should have at least hung a "Mission Accomplished" banner above the fireplace.
Flight suit? no. cod piece? yes.
Was Dubbya going around giving noogies and wedgies to the assembled?
And backrubs.
"Pull mah finger."
Thomas Kinkade must be rolling in his grave.
(Yes! I always wanted to say that!)
You think Tommy the Shill has seen the light?
He would be, but Satan is keeping him busy repainting his rec room.
Satan wouldn't torture himself like that.
Nah, Satan has him painting Breitbart's room.
That sounds *much* more like the Biely I've come to know and love.
Putin looked deep into the painting's eyes, and knew in his heart it was a good painting.
They look like illustrations from a shitty Fifties' children's book.
'My Drunk Dad Goes To Washington' or something.
See George. See George run. See George run the economy into the crapper.
The paintings are awful too.
Now let's see a painting of his birf certificat
needz moar pretzels and yappy dogs
BARNEY BUSH LIBEL!
Hey, I liked Barney. He and Millie were the best o'the Bushes.
Staring off into space after something that even he doesn't find particularly interesting. The look of a man who finds very little in the world to be particularly interesting. The banality of evil.
Or, in this case, the evil of banality.
I assume the picture behind shrub is of bin Laden riding away from Tora Bora?
Why does he have an expression like a guy with a tight rectum and a pudgy white hand up it?
It takes special paint and techniques to capture stupid like that.
Where's the burning Constitution?
In all fairness, all Presidents burn constitutions. Why, it's literally a job requirement. (Just expressing my disappointment about the Obama drone policies)
I really thought they do something that more closely reflected the mood of our country after his tenure. Like, just fucking Xerox Edvard Munch's The Scream.
Or Goya's Saturn Devouring His Children. Actually, I think The Nation did that.
He looks smarmy even in paintings.
He *is* smarmy. Ineffably smarmy. And how I'd like to eff him.
Ewww-thought you had higher standards than that.
Some folks have suggested that the atmosphere might be uncomfortable since Barack Obama has been known to criticize George W. Bush’s record on the campaign trail.
How dumb are people, really?
Bush and Obama (along with Clinton and Bush Elder) are like the four closest men on the planet. Bush and Obama hae even shot rounds of golf together. Not even Mitt can make that claim.
It should depict him holding a copy of "The Pet Goat" in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other.
I have noticed over time my views of past POTUS have softened and I look back with an eye to their better qualities rather than their failings. After four years the best I can come up for W is I enjoy the extra weeks of daylight savings time.
That was their most brilliant energy conservation policy, wasn't it?
I don't think I ever actually *hated* a political figure until Bush/Cheney. Sure, I thought Nixon was a crook, and Reagan a senile fool, but both of them had actual accomplishments while in office. They did things that made the world a bit safer, or better or improved lives in some way. GeeDubz is the only political figure whose life has directly affected mine that I can honestly say has done nothing at all in all the time that he was in charge to make anybody's life the slightest bit better.
The satisfied gaze of a man who just found the hidden weapons of mass destruction in the "corner" of the Oval Office.
Say, who's the tall Jacobin monk making both Rove and Perino laugh?
I calls him 'pursie' – cuz of the way he purses his lips!
Is this a McNaughten?
The painting behind George in his painting, is that Paul Revere riding to warn the British, or some Frederick Remington pony express bushwah?
Dana Perino and Callista Gingrich separated at birth? Discuss amongst yourselves.
Are the books behind him leather-bound copies of "My Pet Goat"?
Made from goat leather?
In fact, they are. Bush insisted that the binders use leather from the goats killed in the PETA click-on ads he enjoys so much.
"Brush-clearing for dummies"
"Presidentin' for Dummies"
Nah, just a leather-bound Condi.
Is Dana Perino looking a little "refreshed"? She is beginning to look like a blonde Michele Bachmann
Neocon semen has its beauty secrets.
That has to be the most erection killing collection of people ever.
The definition of unfappable.
It made Jeff Gannon hard.
I guess fresh babies weren't on the buffet so no Darth Cheney?
That looks like a paint by number. Let me guess, they couldn't find an actual artist willing to paint this doucheface.
I'm surprised he's not portrayed in a flight suit with codpiece and bullhorn, and the World Trade Center burning in the background.
I'd like to see him in a flight suit with a burning codpiece and the bullhorn stuffed up his World Trade Center.
Were Jenna and Not-Jenna there, or were they out back in Bristol's tent with the wine coolers and Levi?
W sure looks stoned to me…
The artist did a good job of capturing his rosy cheeks/gin blossom.
Reminds me of a dry drunk with daddy issues.
Well, paint me pink and call me a Cadillac! Would you believe …
"Dry" drunk?
An alcoholic who has stopped drinking but hasn't gotten any psychological help or support on the reasons he had a drinking problem. When Bush was governor of Texas he stopped the substance abuse programs in the state's prison system. The previous governor, recovered alcoholic Ann Richards instituted them to help prisoners quit their addictions but Bush just quit with Jesus' help. Ergo, all you need is Jesus, not 12-step programs or fancy 'talk therapy'.
Oh, I know what the term *means*. I'm just questioning whether the adjective "dry" applies to Shrub. Did you see the pictures from the 2008 Olympics? Especially the one where he's holding the flag upside down, and his daughter (Jenna?) is giving him the "Dad, WTF?" look?
My bad. Sorry, I just started drinking (today) myself and disregarded your quotes around dry. That video from the Olympics certainly looked like an out-of-control non-sober person. And given the treatment by his wife and children it probably wasn't an isolated experience.
The claim that Bush read practically a book a day in a schedule filled with exercise, prayer, and bedtime at 9 pm plus a little Presidentin' would seem to leave out time for drinking. Former Presidents–FDR, Nixon, and LBJ notably–were much better drinkers than Dubya.
He may be making up for lost time. Maybe that's why Laura stays in Dallas and he likes the Crawford ranch.
"Some folks have suggested that the atmosphere might be uncomfortable since Barack Obama has been known to criticize George W. Bush’s record on the campaign trail."
Shit, Bush Jr. and Bush Jr. Jr. is more like it.
Now, he’ll be clearing the brush strokes.
Oh NY Times, why do you torture us so?
The headline on the article about the portrait:
A Gracious and Civil Prelude to a Hanging
This image of the mature "W" is so realistic that the International Criminal Court could probably use it for wanted posters.
Where's Jesus handing Bush the Constitution in which he will wipe his ass with ??
Oh! And fuck him!
My compliments to the artist, he captured that dipshit look that W so often has.
I think they forgot to paint in all the blood on his hands
Damn. Just when I thought I'd forgotten about that petty little twit of a man.
Begone you mumbling bumbling idiot! Begone!
Srsly. I LOLd, but srsly.
Why fuck's name would you want a permanent painting of that idiot? Wasn't eight years of looking that douchenozzle enough?
This reminds me of the furore that started when that miserable motherfucker's face appeared on billboards somewhere with the caption "Miss Me Yet?"
MAN! Everybody was like, "I'm still throwing!" That motherfucker needs to keep his face hidden FAR away for another 50-100 years so that everyone who can still taste the spooge he rained down on us is dead and buried and has forgotten the taste. Jive-ass no-good shiftless footdragging cocksucking grannyfucker has his fucking nerve.
If you look closely at the row of books behind him, they're marked WPE
If you look really closely you can see the devil on his right shoulder has just shot the angel on his left shoulder in the face with a shotgun.
With Saddam's shotgun.
But we all know the real Dubya: http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhumor/1/7/J/o/1/bush_…
Where's the painting of Breitbart? Typical Kenyan tribal snub.
How many points do I get if my shoe hits the epicenter of the painting?
Pin the Shoe on the Asshole.
No pins needed, as I first made sure to step in something very solidly sticky (and it doesn't smell very good, either).
You get to stick it up on a giant billboard with the caption "Miss Me Yet?" and the spraypainted footer "Not Any More."
Bush looks like he was painted by that guy who did those investment bank animated commercials.
That's a really, really good painting.
What a great reproduction: you can't even see all the blood on his hands!
Can't believe they couldn't work "ruggie" into teh pic.
Man, good job! He really captured that alcohol flush.
I can't wait to get the commemorative plate from Franklin Mint. I bet the ads will be in this Sunday's Parade supplement!
I hope the artist got paid a shit-ton for having to look at George's smarmy, AdultBro face in such detail while he worked on the damn thing.
Nice portrait — it looks like he was there at a garden party, found his way indoors and is still looking for the bathroom.
The artiste certainly captured that annoying little smirk…
Actually, I think he missed the smirk.
I don't.
It seems to me that the artist worked really, really hard to suppress the chimpysmirk. It wants to be there, but the artist wrestled it down flat.
George Bush looks increasingly like my old, drunk, grandmother.
Who painted that? Goya? It's like an unintentionally politically subversive rebus.
Actually, it's worth having a look at the painter's other work – he did Jimmy Hoffa's portrait too!: http://www.johnhowardsanden.com/gallery.asp
I like the cowboy in the painting getting out of Dodge.
The artist's way of saying "And the horse you rode out on."
Still smirking. Daddy must be proud; I know I'm not.
i think portraits are just weird. unless it's like anne boleyn or something.
What, headless porn?
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