AMERICA'S GREATEST WINGNUT MAYORS  2:00 pm May 31, 2012

Comical California Mayor Gives This Chinese Autograph Seeker a Piece of His Mind

by Jim Newell

I do bar mitzvahs, thoughSantee, California Mayor Randy Voepel, according to the local Patch, recently received an email from a Chinese fellow who collects autographs asking for a contribution from Voepel. The email sort of resemnbles “spam email,” but we’re only saying that because we’re racist. But instead of deleting the email or not responding or, well, sending him the autograph he requested, Voepel decided to write back to the commie calling him a dirty commie, and more generally instructing him to fuck off.

Here is the nice autograph request from Mao Zedong, or whatever his name is.

Dear Mayor:

As a great city/county of the United States, your city/county must be playing an important role to make the U.S. a prosperous county.

Your city/county has charitable conventions compared to other states, which I have seen in many TV programs. You city/county is attractive economically and democratically, these can’t not be achieved without your governance, which I am very interested in.

I’d like to have a signed photo of yours and the seal of your city/county, so I can keep them as souvenirs, can you help me?

Wish you the best

Sincerely yours

Deng zhi yong

Annnnnnnnnd the response from Voepel, who, for what it’s worth, left the Republican party a couple of years ago because it was too liberal for him.

Dear Mr. Yong,

I respectfully decline to cooperate in any way with what I consider to be an enemy of the United States. The People’s Republic of China is a repressive and evil communist regime that runs a Police State. I fought in Vietnam to stop communism and will fight communism until the day I die. Please accept me as a very determined enemy, as I assume you to be to me.

Best Capitalist regards,

Randy Voepel

Mayor, The freedom and human rights City of Santee

The spammer probably has his credit card information now.

WORTH IT.

[Patch]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 166 comments }

Barb May 31, 2012 at 2:02 pm

This is better than when he told General Tso to suck his testicle balls.

Yeah, it made no sense to me either. I just wanted to say "testicle balls"

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

BALLS!

Barb May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

He should have signed the photo with:
Me hate you long time,
Randy Voepel

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Y'know, most tin-plated dictator mayors of a shitheel little town at the ass-end of San Diego, one that makes El Cajon seem useful, would STFU, sign the damned picture and thank the fella for thinking of him.

Generation[redacted] May 31, 2012 at 2:42 pm

General Tso's testicle balls are covered in sesame seeds and a savory sauce.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Wouldn't Sesame's seed BE a savory sauce?

freakishlywrong May 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

The Voepel Dick.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

The Voepel Disaster

Doktor StrangeZoom May 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

He took his Voepel Dick in hand
Longtime the Marxist foe he sought–
So texted he by the Dumdum tree,
And hit "reply" without thought

HateMachine May 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The Voepel blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

JerkCade May 31, 2012 at 4:09 pm

"And hast thou shamed the commie slope?
Get back to work, you Cali prick!
O fatuous day! You need a lay!"
These assholes make me sick.

Joshua Norton May 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I respectfully decline to cooperate in any way with what I consider to be an enemy of the United States.

Somebody hasn't checked the shelves of their local Walmart lately.

mormos May 31, 2012 at 2:11 pm

GO AWAY CHINAMAN YOU DON'T OWN ME! wait…

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Somebody also hasn't looked up the definition of "respectfully" in a while, either ;)

Arken May 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Where do you think he got that tie?

James Michael Curley May 31, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Design looks like a petrie dish culture for dysentery.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Somebody hasn't checked the shelves of their local Walmart lately.

Or been paying attention to who Rupert Murdoch is married to.

Callyson May 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Talk about an uncreative wingnut…all this jagoff had to do is send a signed photo with that "Best capitalist regards" greeting.

Idiot.

pinkocommi May 31, 2012 at 4:09 pm

To really emphasize the capitalism, he could have charged for his autograph.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:03 pm

He's against enemies of the state?

So he hates himself?

johnnymeatworth May 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Then he went through the Panda Express drive-thru on the way home and yelled "FUCK YOU!" when they asked him what he wanted.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

"But it's finger Ling-Ling good!"

Dashboard Buddha May 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm

To which they replied, "NOT ON THE MENU, ASSHOLE! GO SUPERSIZE YOURSELF."

FNMA May 31, 2012 at 2:38 pm

No, they replied, "Ten minutes."

imissopus May 31, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I imagine the whole scene looked like this.

mayor_quimby May 31, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Oooooh, your Panda Express has a drivethu? What gilded private enclave do you l I've in, one-percenter?
We have to get out and wait in line for our fluorescent sweet/sour meat substance!

Tundra Grifter May 31, 2012 at 6:16 pm

He probably stopped going to Panda Express when he learned they don't really cook pandas.

SorosBot May 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm

How will he keep fighting communism until the day he dies when it hasn't existed for twenty years?

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That's why he'll fight tirelessly.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Good point. I guess this proves that "Doctor Who" is real.

Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Somebody should tell the mayor, the good news about his fight again' commonism: he won! Now go retire to a golf course or something.

doloras May 31, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Raúl Castro is very sad to hear you say that.

Gainsbourg69 May 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

That man is a patriot.

AlaskaGrrl May 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

That man is a parrot.

TribecaMike May 31, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mittens Howell, III May 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I bet his next order of egg rolls comes with a very special sauce.

Schmannnity May 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Sum Yung Gai sauce.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Sincerely yours

Deng zhi yong

It's sad to see how low the former lead singer of Styxx has fallen.

HarryButtle May 31, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Domo arigato, Mr Roboto…

I know, I know, that's JAPANESE not CHINESE. But in the spirit of Randy Voepel, they all look (sound) the same to him.

Schmannnity May 31, 2012 at 2:05 pm

P.S. Your sister city is a slut.

Best Capitalist regards,

Randy Voepel

MadBrahms May 31, 2012 at 2:32 pm

…at which point Santee receives a mystery shipment of Chinese aspirin

niblick77 May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Wow, I thought Medicare Part B was supposed to help people like this afford their much needed medicine!

Joshua Norton May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Best Capitalist regards

He uses that word, but he obviously doesn't know what it means. Since he's working for his money and not living off his "capital", he's not any kind of "Capitalist".

Typical wingnut.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 31, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Worse, he's in gummint, and gummint can't create ANY jobs.

mormos May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Hey, sometimes you're having a bad day and you just need to tell the chinese to go fuck themselves. We've all been there, right? right?… guys?

Joshua Norton May 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Only when they forget the pancakes for the Mu Shu.

Dashboard Buddha May 31, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Words fail. Wait, no they don't. This dude is a douchebag of the first water.

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Nozzle!!!!

Maman May 31, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Why not just sign the email, "Mayor, the center for American rudeness City of Santee"

or just Rude Fucker

SheriffRoscoe May 31, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Is that guy, by any chance, Taiwanese? Because that would be sweet.

noodlesalad May 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Probably not, his name is in pinyin, which is the romanization system they use on the mainland. Still, we can hope for some cosmic justice.

TribecaMike May 31, 2012 at 9:13 pm

He would probably just say, "That wouldn't change the slant of my original reply."

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 9:35 pm

If you believe there's more than one China, the State Department has a reeducation program for you!

ThankYouJeebus May 31, 2012 at 2:07 pm

And they say letter writing is a lost art.

freakishlywrong May 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Don't read the comments on that Patch article. One can see how this asswipe got elected. Santee is off the list now as well. (The fuck is Santee?)

SecretMuslin May 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

It's a shithole suburb of San Diego, primarily populated by desert rats.

CindynEncinitas May 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Frighteningly close to Encinitas, I'm afraid…

archikvetch May 31, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Those of us in the blue parts of San Diego refer to Santee as "Santucky" due to number of sad trailer parks, meth labs and dumbass mayors. But there is alot of that going around in San Diego County.

elburritodeluxe May 31, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Most Republicans feel the same way about California.

CindynEncinitas May 31, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Yeah well fuck those guys.

coolhandnuke May 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Mayor Voepel steadfastly refuses to ever watch one episode of Happy Days–because Arnold was a Yellow Commie Burger Flipping Terrorist–and any Karate Kid movie.
But he has fapped to every Chuck Norris movie 5,673 times.

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 2:09 pm

That is exactly how to win the battle of hearts and minds.

Just like that!

Amercia, Fuck Yeah!

An_Outhouse May 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm

What do you have to get an autographed naked picture of a mayor to fap to these days? Jeesh … over react much?

Baconzgood May 31, 2012 at 2:10 pm
Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Lol, Mayor Randy is probably still pissed at Nixon for going touristing in Beijing, instead of nuking it. He's probably a fun guy to talks politics with.

RandPaulsToupee May 31, 2012 at 3:40 pm

No, Fun Guy is going to be sending the next email.

Baconzgood May 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

NEEDZ MOAR "CHINK"!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nostrildamus May 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

He took his Voepel sword in hand
Long time the manxome foe he sought
Till rested he by the Trucknutz tree
And stood a while in thought.

Update: Doktor StrangeZoom's version (in reply to 2nd comment) is way better. Send him some love p-ness.

edgydrifter May 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

He should have just sent a close-up photo of his junk, since he's clearly a colossal prick.

An_Outhouse May 31, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I assume Randy Voepel doesn't shop at the Walmart located at 245 Town Center Pkwy
Santee, CA

NorthStarSpanx May 31, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Holy Fucking Fuck What the Fuck!? I don't even get that mad at the Nigerian scammers!

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Me, neither. And it pays! I got a good deal on yellowcake from them a couple weeks ago. I just sent them my bank's routing number—again—so hopefully they'll make with the delivery, pronto.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I'm shocked he didn't sign it "To Ching Chong Ding Dong, Keep 'em frying, Chinaman! Ruv, Mayol Voerper"

rickmaci May 31, 2012 at 3:03 pm

That was his first draft. His secretary cleaned up the final copy.

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Please accept me as a very determined enemy, as I assume you to be to me.

You know Mr Mayor, if you just politely ask for no MSG they'll usually grant your request.

CindynEncinitas May 31, 2012 at 4:52 pm

If you're allergic ,or whatever.

MissTaken May 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

The People’s Republic of China is a repressive and evil communist regime that runs a Police State

…In Bed!

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Take it from me, there's no better place to run one from.

MadBrahms May 31, 2012 at 2:24 pm

"Master of my domain" = "in control of the means of production"?

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

We beat them about the head if they do not comply.

On With our massive nightsticks.

biblioteq_tress May 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm

So, this Chinese guy has the nerve to compliment Voepel's governance and to admire the presumabl ycapitalist "attractive" economics of Santee. Dirty commie! No souvenirs for you, pinko! You'll probably just set them on fire during your May Day parade!

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I think what set Voepel off was the "Your city/county has charitable conventions". There's going to be no supporting mooching parasites on Randy Voepel's watch, nossir.

Dashboard Buddha May 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

How much do you want to bet his kid plays WoW with money he bought from a Chinese gold farmer?

Fairtackle May 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Bet he kicks Shih Tzus . Bad. Ass.

RedneckMuslin May 31, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Who the hell doesn't kick Shih Tzus? The yapping motherfuckers!

Goonemeritus May 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm

The Irony is when I sent the same sort of letter as a child to a Chinese leader Mao Zedong promptly sent not only a signed photo but a jacket and little red book as well.

MadBrahms May 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

And he gave you a star! Kids love stars.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

When I was a kid, I wanted to write to Yuri Andropov. My dad told me not to, because he was in the Air Force, and was afraid this might reflect poorly on him if someone found out. He might have had a point; I don't know. It would've been cool to get some neat Soviet stuff, though.

rickmaci May 31, 2012 at 3:18 pm

And the FBI has been following you ever since.

Wonderthing May 31, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I totally agree with what he did. See, I'm an actor and once I got a letter in the mail from some dweeb in the midwest who had seen me in an episode of "Murder, She Wrote" and had the NERVE to request an autograph because, as he put it, "I am collecting autographs of minor actors in small roles." So, I wrote back to him and told him in no uncertain terms what a schmuck he was and what a loser. Oh. Wait. No. I sent him an autograph and a thank you for thinking of me. Whew. Close call on that one.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:24 pm

I did precisely the same thing to a reporter who wanted to interview me for the local rag The Times. Told her, "Tits or GTFO, hippie liberal!"

I mean, I dropped the phone and had an orgasm, then thanked her and offered her a cigarette.

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

That was you in that episode? You were terrific! Like they say, no small parts, only small actors….

Doktor StrangeZoom May 31, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Peter Dinklage hates you now.

comrad_darkness May 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

I thought it was: no small parts, only white guys…

Doktor StrangeZoom May 31, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I remember that one time 3 days ago when I sent a story tip to the editrix of a political blog, and she replied back and said that if I wanted to, I could try writing up a blog post about it myself and maybe she'd publish it on the blog. So I promptly wrote back and told her that it's an editor's job to fucking EDIT the work that she PAYS people for, not to try to get free content, ya goddamn commie.

Oh…actually, no, that's not what I did, either.

comrad_darkness May 31, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Oh god, I lived with a roommate who was addicted to that show.

I took the opportunity to drink heavily whenever it was on so I don't remember the plot of a single one of them.

Nothing personal.

imissopus May 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

My parents were huge fans of that show. Used to drive me nuts. They would get worked up if it was delayed because of a football game, or because I was watching a game on another channel. I would get back at them by referring to it as "Hip, She Shattered" or "Geritol, She Chugged."

doloras May 31, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Jessica Fletcher did all those murders herself.

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 10:22 pm

It is the only logical conclusion. How come nobody else has noticed the long, long trail of bodies left wherever she happens to go?

stanpan May 31, 2012 at 9:36 pm

When my son was a toddler, he loved the theme song. If we changed the channel during the open, he'd throw a fit.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:50 pm

I'm currently writing a "Murder, She Wrote" fanfic! It's a crossover with "Law and Order SVU" and it has a talking rat in it. It's set in New York, of course, but later on the talking rat is going to leave New York and meet the cast of "Gilmore Girls", and later on, "Doctor Who". It's going to be epic.

Guppy May 31, 2012 at 10:22 pm

Slash or GTFO

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Yeah, there's slash. The "Murder" part of the show's title kind of encourages it. Go Hudson U!

Guppy June 1, 2012 at 8:55 am

I'm… not sure you understand what is meant by slash fiction

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

It's guys like this that remind me of that old classic "If I Had a Hammer".

CrunchyKnee May 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

So brave!

Chichikovovich May 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

If only every American had refused to send autographed pictures to Chinese collectors, Chiang Kai-Shek would never have been driven to Taiwan. And now it's too late. All because we wouldn't listen to Randy Voepel.

Estproph May 31, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I had to google Santee CA to find out just where it is. Turns out, it's the last point east out of San Diego before you smack into a mountain headfirst. I think mayor Voepel didn't stop in time.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Santee IS very proud of its rocks.

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 2:36 pm

So proud, it elected one Mayor!

Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I've been in that neighborhood, and the mountains are the place to be. Apart from those devastating wildfires burning you out every other year, and the annual "June gloom" (persistent fog) its cooler and less muggy up there in the hills.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 2:22 pm

I see more work for volunteer Photoshoppers.

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I have a bit of talent but no amount of Photoshop can remove the stain of dickhead on this dickhead.

Blueb4sunrise May 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

ADD the stain of dickhead!!

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I had to check, but there is a filter plugin for that.

actor212 May 31, 2012 at 2:42 pm

The Gorbachev?

Beowoof May 31, 2012 at 2:22 pm

He is just showing his chops to get the ambassadorship to China. He'll put those commie pinko scum in their place.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:52 pm

You know why we still have diplomatic relations with Red China? Because the president of the United States is a socialist. (He's also not white, either.)

Fare la Volpe May 31, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Sounds like a ringing endorsement for the Romney campaign.

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Gives me an idea though. I'd like Romney's autograph. And, then, I'd just need his checkbook (only for a day).

MadBrahms May 31, 2012 at 2:26 pm

"Please accept me as a determined enemy"? Aww, he must be so lonely down in his volcano lair.

Exhausted66 May 31, 2012 at 2:29 pm

Somewhere, in China there's a restaurant without an autographed picture of Randy Voepel on the wall.

comrad_darkness May 31, 2012 at 2:29 pm

What about the autograph hound's right to pursue happiness? Huh? Huh? Yeah, the little guy asking for weird collector's items is about a responsible for the communist party of China's policies as Randy here is of being responsible for the u.s. torture of prisoners in Iraq. It's just a pathetic excuse to be a total and utter asshole.

Jus_Wonderin May 31, 2012 at 2:32 pm

It seems Randy doesn't care to garner the coveted Chinese autograph collector vote.

Arken May 31, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Being an asshole to people is the best way to convert them to your ideology!

HippieEsq May 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

the Mormons are keen to prove your hypothesis.

Groupshrug May 31, 2012 at 2:34 pm

In his defense, Randy Voepel is still upset about an incident early in his life when a Chinese man peed in his Coke.

RandPaulsToupee May 31, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I just laughed for ten straight minutes. Thank you.

barto May 31, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Dear Mayor of Freedoms and Humane Rights,

Please remove all articles of clothing and any electronic devices you may be using and send them back to our country.

Love,
Your Commicapitalistic Pals

Wilcoxyz May 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

Voepel let down America in Vietnam. If only he had tried harder, we might have won.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Voepel, Randy Cunningham and John McCain, with soldiers and sailors like that who needed the VC?

Generation[redacted] May 31, 2012 at 3:40 pm

From reading his letter, he should have marched north to Beijing.

coolhandnuke May 31, 2012 at 2:39 pm

…Mayor Randy Voepel recently switched parties and became an independent in the direction of the Tea Party..

Does the Mayor know where most of the teas comes from?

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 2:47 pm

He doesn't want to know, <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/not+for+all+the tea+in+china">not for all the tea in China.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:55 pm

As a matter of fact, the first draft of his letter read, "I wouldn't send you a picture for all the tea in…" Then it stops and he sorta felt he had to start over.

HippieEsq May 31, 2012 at 2:40 pm

He should have outsourced drafting of tihs email to Skoal Rebel. It's way too polite and well-punctutaed to be a valid specimen of American xenophobic digital chit-chat.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Remember when the Soviets used to send requests for glossy photos to Ronald Reagan? When he became president, he turned around and started selling wheat to them, every year. And if memory serves, President Reagan never emptied our nuclear arsenal turning the Soviet Union into a sheet of radioactive glass, which is why he's a pinko commie traitor, unlike the patriotic Mayor Voepel.

DonnyKerabotsos May 31, 2012 at 2:43 pm

That's not such a big deal. Chris Christie talks that way to his constituents, except that he calls us morons instead of communists.

Larry McAwful May 31, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Well, if he really believes he was elected by a majority, then he's over 50% right.

Beetagger May 31, 2012 at 2:44 pm

They may be commies, but those girls sure know how to give a great massage.

ElPinche May 31, 2012 at 2:45 pm

Is the mayor Santee the Gary Busey character in Black Sheep?
He should have ended it with "I could go to your mama's and start a small fire in her panties, chink!! "

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ May 31, 2012 at 2:48 pm

I remember Bill Hicks and patriotism-squarely-on-sleeves:

"Hey, my father died for that flag."
Really? I bought mine.
"My father died in Korea for that flag."
Small world! Mine was made in Korea.

pdiddycornchips May 31, 2012 at 2:49 pm

So everyone in China is his enemy?

HarryButtle May 31, 2012 at 2:50 pm

OK, did he SIGN the letter? With his AUTOGRAPH?

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ May 31, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Israel first. Because Nazis or something.

PeaceWithHonor May 31, 2012 at 3:19 pm

They don't call it "Klantee" for nothing.

RandPaulsToupee May 31, 2012 at 3:51 pm

For reals. I grew up in East San Diego County. It's just gotten dumber, if that's possible.

GortRay May 31, 2012 at 3:26 pm

He don't eat no Chinese food. He eats Freedom food!

Generation[redacted] May 31, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Dear Commie Pinko Scum:

I received your letter, and it was all like ching chong ling long ding dong.

Best Teatard Regards,

Mayor of Crazytown

iburl May 31, 2012 at 4:06 pm

"Best Capitalist regards" = "You Own Our Debt, Suckaz"

MittBorg May 31, 2012 at 4:13 pm

He took his Voepel sword in hand
Long time the manxome foe he sought
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in … thought?

pinkocommi May 31, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Let's hope the Chinese don't take this "Randy Voepel incident" out on the rest of us when they are our overlords.

MosesInvests May 31, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Randy Voepel=slithy tove.

OneYieldRegular May 31, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Dear Mayor Voepel,

We own you. Time to pay up.

China

12X34X May 31, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Ummm…somebody go tell this Teahadist that China has most favored trade nation status.

aguacatero May 31, 2012 at 6:18 pm

It is well known that "signed photo" is communist slang for "precious bodily fluids."

Tundra Grifter May 31, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I'll bet he would have sent an autographed photo to the Yellow Shirt Girl.

With his phone number.

Tundra Grifter May 31, 2012 at 6:21 pm

I took another look at Mayor Randy's photo and I'm very surprised he didn't write back "Deng, do you like gladiator movies? Have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

Antispandex May 31, 2012 at 7:09 pm

That response wouldn't have even been appropriate if the guy began his spam by writing, "Dear Imperialist Pig". I was in the service during Viet Nam too, but I can still enjoy a tastey bowl of Pho now and then. The wars is over Mr. Mayor, you can get new parts for your head.

ttommyunger May 31, 2012 at 9:25 pm

It is 2012. Anybody that believes that 'Nam had anything to do with Communism is too fucking clueless to hold any position of responsibility.

George Skullfry June 1, 2012 at 2:15 am

Also, this particular dingdong appears to have managed to miss noticing that NVN was a client of the USSR, not the PRC. A detail, but hey.

a_pink_poodle May 31, 2012 at 9:43 pm

The disturbing part of his reply was when I realized it wasn't a comically exaggerated hypothetical response by Wonkette.

fuflans May 31, 2012 at 11:12 pm

well now we know how the great chinese moonwar started.

Negropolis June 1, 2012 at 2:30 am

Okay, so it's exceedingly clear that this Voepel fella is a total dick, but this Deng zhi yong dude sounds like a dick, too, if even an unintentional one. If you're going to request something, do the general research you need before asking for shit. "City/county" my ass.

oinonio June 1, 2012 at 12:29 pm

One, two! One, two! and through and through
Voepel's tongue went snicker-snack!
He left the matter dead, but to his dread,
Couldn't take his idiot comments back.

…I also suspect the autograph hound's family name is Deng.

notanncoulter June 1, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Wait… Is this guy related to John Bolton?

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