He learned chess in Iceland; he lived in Lesotho, and South Africa during Apartheid. The Cuban Missile Crisis? He remembers that! The “I Have a Dream” speech? He remembers that too! He holds newspapers, and then throws them in the trash! He raised daughters, they have straight teeth! Would you like to learn Jeff Barth’s entire life history, set to awesome red-blooded Merkan fiddle music, while he walks through a forest in four minutes and change? Of course you would!
But what does Jeff Barth think of his opponent, Kristi Noem, and her tax cuts for billionaires? He manages to squeeze that in too, but mostly? Iceland, Lesotho, guns, and daughters with straight teeth.
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He sounds like he's speaking Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"
♬ Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land,
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion ♫
Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania
Birds and snakes, an aeroplane – and Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Mashing REM and Joel?
It's the end of the fire we didn't start as we know it!
I hate both of those songs.
Ah yes, the "We boomers aren't going to take responsibility for nothin'" song.
He's out of breath walking downhill.
Just saying.
But he has straight teeth, so leave him the fuck alone.
You'd be out of breath if you were 8 months pregnant, too.
He represents his district.
NEEDZ MOAR HOVEROUND!
Was he supporting apartheid while he was in Lesotho?
(I really don't want to watch that drivel).
Y'know, I'm not sure he says "Lesotho"
He could have been saying "I was living in my DeSoto."
The RSA had its' own little Vietnam humiliation there. Not the walkover they thought they were getting into. My Boer friend who used to be a South African infantry captain said it was a real clusterfuck and national embarassment.
South Dakota has forests? Meh. Corn maze or GTFO.
No, the Badlands. He needs to be walking through a moon-like landscape.
Or Sturgis! The lawless den of sin and violence would appeal to the moderate South Dakota voters.
And Democrats??
where's the palm trees?
Slightly O/T, but I always thought "corn maze" was redundant.
Needs more "Dueling Tubas".
Needz moar onions on belt.
Is that a Sarah Palin sex doll at the 1 minute mark?
I could only make it to 1:50. Warning: Do not clicky on the video. It's seconds of your life you'll never get back.
I didn't know 65-year-old men could get pregnant.
You can tell when they are because their boobs get bigger.
OT: Where is LimeyLizze lately?
I see her on teh Twitter. I'll see if she's around.
Just guessing, but she may be (gasp) working.
Like me, 'cept yesterday my machine at the office got forcibly, and I might add, violently updated to Lion… right around lunchtime. The cheek of it, I had no internets for nearly 2 hours!
What does Rebecca put in the water over there at Wonkette Towers?
Cheap video cameras and Final Cut Express has ruined America.
From his girth, I'd say just another Chris Christie wannabe.
He's supported by the American Cheese Fries Council.
He makes Donald Trump look like a babbling idiot.
I didn't think The Donald need any help on that.
Nevermind his life story — where can I get a hat with BARTH printed on it?
San Francisco. It stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit Hell! Been there.
Jeff Barth doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he prefers Dos Equis.
PBR libel (and he was drinking it long before the hipsters started consuming it ironically).
He kind of looks like he drinks a lot of beer.
"Remember the good old days when the world was one Soviet Sub Captain's refusal to fire a nuclear armed torpedo away from World War 3? Jeff Barth remembers."
The Teapartiers are horsesasses? Who knew?
Is he really wearing an ironic trucker hat with his last name printed on it? Fuckin' awesome.
Errrr, at his age, it's not ironic.
But yes.
Looks like a hiking trail had a collision with a yard sale.
That's a Thursday WIN for me. (It is Thursday, right?)
I dunno. Is Thursday vodka and underpants day? Cos if it is .. Happy Thursday!
Stream of consciousness campaigning might be the next big thing. Ginsburg/ Kerouac 2012
Mitt Romney stream of consciousness campaign:
"Corporations are people too, my friends. My friends? How come I have no friends. I know the guy who owns Friendster that counts, right? right? I'm severely right … show me the birth certificate … I love you Donald your hair smells like money … like money? Who doesn't like money? socialists! that's who. Socialists and hobo's And he had it coming that dirty greasy haired hobo. Haircut? Haircut? I'll give you a haircut. You look funny Obama and I'm gonna give you a haircut .. let's get a posse and give that guy a haircut my friends … my friends? My Daddy? Daddy? Mom? … Ann?… my underwear is surging … I'm feeling a little … unzippered … What is happening to me … Why are those dogs looking at me funny? … everything is going white … white … white … follow the white … don't mention the hobo … no-one must know about the hobo …"
Henry Miller or GTFO.
Needs moar Giles Goat-Boy.
"He raised daughters, they have straight teeth!"
I thought South Dakota girls all came with straight hair and curly teeth. Maybe I'm thinking of Kentucky.
BLUE GRASS LIBEL!
Although, knowing about the Cuban Missile Crisis puts him one step up on Dana Perino.
You bastard Actor, I've got that fucking thing singing in my head now. I stopped myself humming along with Clarence as I went for lunch.
Thanks…
btw, I wonder if iTunes has that song. I could torment my wife for days with that.
Pretty good shot with that rifle. Killed the chicken with the first bullet. Shot all the feathers off with the second. I'd vote for him.
He got it on the fly, too.
It's too bad he's a shit storyteller, because it kind of sounds like he's had an interesting life.
"The Cuban Missile Crisis? He remembers that! The “I Have a Dream” speech? He remembers that too!"
He's ooooooold. Man, I thought anyone who could remember those bits of long ago history died a significant time ago.
AHEM! *koffkoff* *wheeeeeze*
So do I and I'm just a tender sweet young thing.
Watch it kid.
No social security for you ya smart-ass brat.
The track cam (I presume a camera man named Cooter on the back of a pickup truck) should have went faster and faster and made that old man run. YOU WANNA RUN FOR OFFICE??!1! WELL THEN RUN OLD MAN!!
Wasn't Barth the name of John Candy's half-man/half-dog character in Spaceballs?
Barf, but close.
Very prescient nonetheless.
Dude's got a sense of humor.
It's like Patrick Star is running for Congress.
I say elect him and put him on the congressional Scavenger Hunt Committee, pronto.
Let's get America looking for random shit again.
The last time we went looking for random shit, we found ourselves in Iraq.
This guy should haven't written his biography first. And then retired. He must be exhausted by now.
If you write an autobiography for a living, do you ever retire?
His tombstone is gonna be bigger than Roland Burris'!
Low-hanging fruit is low-hanging.
deit: I had not watched his little teleplay all the way through when I posted. He's artsy, even if it's spartan, and I like this shit.
So we are eternally grateful he is not wearing shorts.
sorry, wait… I was initially talking about him acting as another "Washington sucks!" rabblerouser who can't tie two streams of consciousness together… and then the props came into view, like "Find The Fish" from TMOL.
I remember Ronald Reagan. And Jesse Helms. And Richard Nixon.
No wonder I'm depressed.
The shooting part with the sound effects is AWESOME. If Democrats want to win, they need to show ads with more explosions.
The Zelig of South Dakota.
Turn him around and head him up the trail and it looks like a combat patrol practice course. Pop 3 rounds into each display as it comes into view and get showered with mud as the instructors blow up C4 around you.
<snark value="off">I think he IS sweet and adorable. I sent him some $$. He is on the right side, seems comfortable with who he is, and obviously has a sense of humor. </snark>
Did he become a shrimpin' boat captain with Lt. Dan, too?
What's wrong with you people? This guy is completely darling and great!
Totally agree. I wish I could vote in South Dakota. Well, not really because – south Dakota. But Jeff Barth is awesome!
Agreed. You can tell he's living in the real world and knows something about it.
LMAO…WTF? …There's like random shit on the trail as he walks, mannikin, oil painting….this is like Fellini's 'Satyricon' but with no subtitles.
OK the rubber chicken falling from the sky when he shoots was inspired.
That's cinch's it for me. I'm sending him money.
From the first 20 seconds or so I thought he was looking for the outhouse.
Me no clickie… I'm just not doing it.
Oh go ahead, it's harmless.
Not that I'd be surprised, but – is this the official DNC response to the four minute FOX anti-Obama video?
Bless his heart, and I mean that in a good way.
Is that an Alien coming out from under his shirt or is he full-term?
With that newspaper in his hand, he looks like a corn-pone Mort Sahl.
And it's never a bad idea to ramble on and on while lost in the woods. Scares the bears and Bigfoot away.
that was the longest tracking shot since children of men.
still! sending him kisses and $$$.
This fellow has ridden an ostrich. What more do you people want from him? How many of you have ridden a motherfucking ostrich? I sure as hell haven't, and none of my friends or family have, unless they're keeping secrets from me.
You know, that must've been one big damn bird. Even for an ostrich I mean.
Maybe he was wee bit smaller then? Also, don't they go 400 pounds?
This. man. is. awesome. I mean, aside from his incredible life story, a man with a belly that big and able to walk that far without being severely winded is nothing short of amazing. I don't care if it was downhill; I got tired just watching him walk. Honestly, I might send this man some money.
Seriously, can you guys just watch the video? I don't usually, either, but this guy is something else…in a good very good way. He's like some kind of backwoods philosopher. He's a helluva lot better for South Dakota than that reckless-driving, poodle impersonatress Kristi Noem, let me tell you.
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