Add to Flipboard Magazine.

exit stage right even!International Justice Alert: Charles Taylor was sentenced this week by the Hague to serve 50 years in a British Slammer for his heinous acts that he says were done “with honour.” He’s expected to appeal, but chances are he will finish his life behind bars.

As we maintain, the world is becoming increasingly inhospitable to asshole dictators. When Laurent Gbagbo refused to accept defeat in the Cote D’Ivore elections of 2010 and systematically started murdering 3,000 of his rival’s supporters, the International Criminal Court literally sent someone down there to trick him into getting on an airplane, where his surprise arrest warrant was issued. He is currently on trial for crimes against humanity.

Here are five people we’d like to see tricked into a one-way ticket to the Netherlands:

  • Bashar al-Assad, Syria Enough is enough, dude. Russia BFF’ing you doesn’t change the fact that you are murdering your citizens daily in order to stay in power. Very reminiscent of Qadaffi’s last days in charge. Expect this thing to come to a head, NATO-styley, in 3…2..
  • Omar al-Bashir, Sudan You’ve heard of Darfur? Genocide’s not in fashion these days. Four and a half million people terrorized, raped, murdered. An arrest warrant has been issued for al-Bashir by the ICC, and other heads of state are refusing to let him attend conferences on their soil. Now he’s started a war with the newly minted nation of South Sudan.
  • Mahinda Rajapaksa, Sri Lanka This island in the Indian Ocean should be a paradise. Perfect weather, incredible beaches, cool, Buddhist culture. Instead, they had a million year civil war followed by heavy shelling of civilians, featuring a video of a naked and bound 12-year-old boy and the denial of food and humanitarian resources into areas devastated by conflict. Their freedoms of the press are rated lower than Saudi Arabia’s.
  • Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe His hands aren’t nearly as bloody as the rest of fine old cannibals on this list, but he deserves jail for something equally evil: greed. While his country is one of the poorest on Earth (even though it’s one of the most minerally rich), he has raped his people’s resources to the tune of a personal fortune estimated at $2.5 billion US — while his people live on less than $2 a day. He’s clung to power for more than 30 years.
  • George W. Bush / Dick Cheney Despite the indictment by that citizen’s panel in Kuala Lumpur, Bush and Cheney will never come to justice — especially if they all move to their new Paraguay War Crime Safehouse. They ordered the deaths of between 1 and 600,000 Iraqis, on false pretenses, making all for George’s machismo and Halliburton’s bottom line.
Previous articleRick Scott Bravely Purges 91-Year-Old War Hero Criminal From Voting Rolls
Next articleHere Is Your Handy Guide to Avoiding the DHS Eye of Sauron