Was the Minister of Magic an elected official? FANFIC STORY IDEAOh look, there they go again! By “they” we mean the Democrats, always crying about voter suppression. Look, is it our fault that their supporters are all vicious thugs, pot smokers, illegal immigrants, white slavers, people whose names end in vowels or “z,” vicious illegal immigrant thugs, and liberals? Only Rick Scott is man enough to delegate to various bureaucratic state agencies the important task of removing these scumbags from the voter registration database, leaving Democracy in the hands of the people who invented it (white people, for the most part). And now the liberal media in liberal Miami are pouncing on one of the purge’s greatest successes — the removal of an admitted criminal from the voting rolls — like it’s a bad thing!

Bill Internicola is one of many lucky Floridians who got a polite letter from the state, telling him that, unless he filled out a form to request an administrative hearing to prove that he was eligible to vote within the next 30 days, he’d be removed from the voter rolls. Internicola is Brooklyn-born. World War II vet. Awarded a Bronze Star. Name ending in a vowel. Registered to vote in Florida since 1991. Registered to vote … illegally? You bet!

Internicola admitted to one discrepancy in records. He says he was born in 1921, though he said his drivers’ license indicates 1919. The reason: in his youth he wanted to start driving early so “I bent the truth a little bit.”

Well! So Internicola thinks he can get away with lying about his age to … whoever was in charge of New York State back then (John Jay? Theodore Roosevelt? Al Smith? Let’s say Al Smith) so he could drive about the streets of Brueklyn-Towne at age 14, and then vote? Not only should this person be prevented from voting in future elections, but all elections that he might have voted in over the decades need to be re-called in favor of the Republican, just to be sure. Hope you enjoyed 12 glorious years of President Dewey, everybody!

The purge also snagged this lady, probably because she has a weird little dog. Rick Scott is America’s greatest hero, is what we’re saying. [Miami Herald/Think Progress]

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  • nounverb911

    Brooklyn's still part of Russia, right?

    • Thought it left with the Ukraine.

      • Is that You-krayni-krayni-krayni-stan-stan?

    • Negropolis

      Only if Sarah Palin can see it from her front porch. That's the test of what is and isn't Russia in America, these days.

      In Soviet Russia, Brooklyn drives you!

      • sewollef

        Eww, the thought of Sarah Palin and my glorious borough of Brooklyn being spoken about in the same sentence, makes me go all light-headed.

        That said, there's plenty of Russkies in Brighton Beach, Brooklyn. Take the Q-train [or N-train] to Coney Island and feast your eyes on bad fashion and heels — even in the snow, they wear heels. And not just the men….

        • Negropolis


    • horsedreamer_1

      Mikhail Prokhorov agrees.

    • Well, Brighton Beach is pretty much a satelite state, yes.

  • NorthStarSpanx

    I'll just bet he plotted this as a shifty 14 year old just so he could make Florida look bad 80 years later. Socialist.

    • nounverb911

      Was his birth announcement in all the Hawaiian newspapers too?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It's working, in spades.

    • Abernathy

      I know a postal carrier who can vouch for that.

    • He's not even black though! What the hell are you trying to say?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "I lied about my age so I could join the military and fight in World War II." No vote for you, crimeboy.

    • emmelemm

      My grandfather tried to do that, but was rejected. (I think the next year he was called up anyway.)

      • Glad to see you're okay. You and the Betty Page house are pretty close to where one of today's shootings took place. I had two grandbabies in lock-down at a school near the cafe just off Ravenna where it happened.

        As is would happen, we have a previously scheduled meeting the SPD over shooting violence tonight at the Garfield Community Center form 6:30 til 8:00. That's at 23rd & Cherry – take a 48 or drive if you can make it.

        • bagofmice

          God, not another one. Can we get id checks for ammunition sales?

        • anniegetyerfun

          What a day, eh? Jesus.

        • Wile E. Quixote

          I'm a gun owner but I think that we need to have limits on who can own guns, convicted telons (that means you Randy Cunningham), the mentally ill, people who post long rants on newspaper comment boards about "the blacks" or "the mexicans" and anyone who posts anything like "You know, this is why honest citizens need to be allowed to carry concealed weapons" or "If I had been there with my gun I would have put this guy down" on any internet forum.

        • / snark off, sorry

          The guy that did all the shootings today, in two different parts of Seattle time took his life this afternoon. as Wile E. notes, the mentally unstable should not be able to have firearms.

          But sometimes previously together folks loose it. Some family members members said they could kinda see it coming. At the community meeting we had to night a put in my 2¢ on the issue of silence. As an olde white man I talked about a young black man from my block who I remember as being quick to smile and taking to see the Mariners get beat. He was shot to death earlier this year. I said to the the crowd that maybe no one there knew who had killed the young man (name redacted here), but I went to say that dollar to donuts someone at that meeting knew someone who did know who the killer.

          Kitty Genovese in Queens in the 1960, this young man I spoke of tonight – too often we choose to remain silent or not get involved. We each hold one small keep to help stop the violence – get involved, say hi to someone of a different race, age, nationality, or culture you pass on the street. Embrace where you live (yeah, even if it is awash with sour lemon Teapartiers). Wake-up sheeple and stop being silent lambs.

          /snark on

          Rick Scott is on the V advance team. Watch for the flick of his lizard tongue.

          • bagofmice

            Yeah. Kyle Huff marched through my friend's house stone cold murdering everyone he could before the spd in the neighborhood got him to eat his shotgun. But this suggests a three pronged approach, the first of course being able to keep guns out of the hands of people who have committed gun crimes, and secondly, having officers close enough to respond before the ammo runs out, and thirdly, some sort of way of dealing with people who are mentally distressed.

          • glamourdammerung

            The guy that did all the shootings today, in two different parts of Seattle time took his life this afternoon. as Wile E. notes, the mentally unstable should not be able to have firearms.

            They are not allowed to. The problem is that you can avoid checks by hitting gun shows or buying them from your "friend" that is totally not a gun dealer, they just happen to sell guns all the time, some gun stores that do not follow the law, etc. In fairness, a majority of the gun stores are on the level, and the ones that get caught not following the law are a small minority that does it over and over again.Of course, the NRA defends the latter.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          "if you can make it" sounds ominous … are you suggesting I armor up my Civic?

        • emmelemm

          Thanks for thinking of me! Yes, I live pretty close to Cafe Racer. Of course, I was at work on the Eastside (boo, hiss) all day, long past 6:30.

          How was the community meeting? So much going on there, with *all* the recent shootings and the no confidence in police issue. Did you think it was at all productive?

          Random fact: I went to Garfield High. In the 80s. (Ugh, I'm old.)

  • JustPixelz

    Mr Internicola "bent the truth a little bit.” But he's up against people who break the truth in half, then grinds it up into powder that they incinerate in a furnace. Poor fella had a better chance fighting Nazis.

    • nounverb911

      He's still fighting Nazis.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        And as a 91-year-old Vet he shouldn't have to put up with this shit.
        (Totally snark-free comment.)

      • LionHeartSoyDog


      • Here's YOUR Gold Star, for that winning comment that is so full of winning.

      • Negropolis


  • BaldarTFlagass

    The cool thing is that with all the criticism these guys are taking over this, instead of backing off, they are doubling down. They really really really want Romney to take Florida.

    • Well, the same thing worked out just fine for them in 2000, so…

      • nounverb911

        Needs more hanging chads.

        • flamingpdog

          Needz moar hanging ricks.

        • No lie, I'm pretty sure this is why Obama's '08 strategy involved putting more states "in-play" and fighting hard for battlegrounds that seemed to be longer shots (and winning nearly all of them). He didn't want the '08 election to just come down to Florida or Ohio, because both states have had a bit of a history of seriously fucking around with the voter rolls and tabulations.

          After all, one might recall here that Rick Scott is literally just following the Jeb Bush playbook.

          • comrad_darkness

            That means the GOP is going to run the votes from select Ohio counties through the GOP's servers again? But it won't matter, I guess is the take here.

    • Ryy

      They don't care about Romney one wit. They are worried about the negro.

    • Negropolis

      Romney's road through the electoral college is so narrow that he can't lose Florida and have any realistic chance of winning.

  • CapnRadio

    Florida's purging people with names ending in vowels? So THAT'S what happened to Tropic-Ana.

    • MissTaken

      The new Tropicana juice looks like it should be sold at IKEA with a side of Swedish meatballs.

      • CapnRadio

        "Many of you feel bad for this logo. That is because you're crazy. It has no feelings, and the new one is much less racist."

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'm surprised Rick Scott doesn't just send election officials to the suspected peoples' houses and just shoot them, what with these hooligans threatening to endanger us all by voting.

  • MissTaken

    Internicola is Brooklyn-born.

    Kenya has a Brooklyn, too?

  • FakaktaSouth

    From my friends fb post right now:

    Alabama. At least we don't eat people's faces.

    Fuck off Florida Gov Rick Scott.

    • Do they have other liberals in AL, or just you? I ask because my FB friend from AL is a Repub, but he's reasonable and informed at least.

    • Negropolis

      But, if you guys did eat people's faces, you'd do it deep fried in lard, right? God, I'm making myself hungry for pork rinds…

      • Lascauxcaveman

        She's going to be so embarrassed when it comes out that Mr. Facemuncher dude is a born 'n raised Alabamanian.

      • bagofmice

        How cheeky of you.

        • Negropolis

          I always turn the other one, too. Well, unless you talk about my momma, and then it's on like Donkey Kong.

  • CapnRadio

    I'd rather be a war hero criminal than a war criminal hero.

    • CthuNHu

      Allan West haz a sad.

      • Allen West has a lot of other things too, including a very dysfunctional personality.

    • moar_plz

      I think I heard Rummy say that on Charlie Rose tonight. Or was it a criminal hero war?

  • Barb

    Rick Scott puts the "DUH" in Florida.

    • Callyson

      If you say it just right, "Florida" sounds like "whore – rid – of." As in, I wish the Sunshine State would get rid of that whore Rick Scott…

      • Boojum

        "just right" meaning after snorting bath salts and meth, with a mouthful of face and a bullet. This IS Florida, after all.

    • JustPixelz

      HA HA HA HA. That joke never gets old. Or inaccurate.

  • MissTaken

    Internicola said he was born in Brooklyn to an American-born mother and Italian-immigrant father. He traveled to several countries in Europe during World War II working as a medic where his nickname was “Pepsi” — since his last name ends with “cola.”

    This guy is adorable. Rick Scott, you suck donkey balls.

    • flamingpdog

      Put in a call to PETA, ASAP!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        So he's declared a war on Coke? He is just like the Kenyan Born Socialist!

        • bagofmice

          A nasal warrior?

  • CapnRadio

    Hope you enjoyed 12 glorious years of President Dewey, everybody

    Do 12 dewy years with President Glorious count?

    • flamingpdog

      If that had ever happened, wouldn't Bammers be living today in the Chartreuse House?

    • He hasn't even started his second term yet!

  • Antispandex

    Should a guy get a break just because at one time, along time ago, he was exceptionally brave? I didn't think so. I mean, you can't even be a hero, unless you're a Republican. Can you? I mean look at the list. Dick Cheney, Dubya, Mitt…the list goes on.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Are we SURE we won World War II? I'm having my doubts.

    • Callyson

      We report. You decide. Teach the controversy!

    • flamingpdog

      WW II? Yes. Civil War? Not so much.

    • doloras

      Well, there are still some Jews around, so I assume so, except that there are a bunch of them in Israel acting VERY much like Nazis now.

      • Sad but true.

      • MosesInvests

        Yeah, because there are concentration camps with gas chambers in Israel. Right.

        • bagofmice

          Uzi's are much more timely and reliable.

          • MosesInvests

            Not as much as explosive belts.

          • bagofmice

            Are you saying that impoverished people can make weapons more reliable than an Uzi? That's quite the complement.

        • Ryy

          Don't forget the Muslims forced to wear crecent armbands and such, not to mention the killing of all the homos in Tel Aviv

    • Diabeetis

      Two words: Operation Paperclip.

      • Angry_Marmot

        "I Aim for the Stars… und sometimes I hit London."

  • Callyson

    You know who else bent the truth a little bit?

    • nounverb911

      Mitt Romney?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Baron Münchhausen?

    • Pinnochio? (Name ends with vowel.)

    • flamingpdog

      My roommate senior year in college? If "the truth" = penis, then yes.

    • Boojum

      Dick Cheney, if "bent" means "ate its unborn children".

    • ProgressiveInga

      Jon Lovitz?

    • Um … Hitler? No, wait, that was a LOT.

    • C_R_Eature


      • flamingpdog

        BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!! No, that was a LOT, too. Also.

        • C_R_Eature

          He really Was a Crook, then? He Lied to us, dammit!

    • Chichikovovich

      Epimenides the Cretan?

      • George Skullfry

        Maybe, …. and maybe not.

        • Chichikovovich

          You lie!—

          • George Skullfry

            Ach, I would have replied "Maybe, and maybe not" if I got on sooner, but then I suppose it would have led to infinite recursion, which Wonkatlady doesn't need.

  • calliecallie

    Internicola…Russo (the lady with the dog)…I think he just wants to purge Italians. Or does he think those are Hispanic names because he doesn't know the difference? Evil twit.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I'm guessing the Eye-tais are cover for all the Bustamontes and Rodriguezes.

    • Gainsbourg69

      He's focusing on vowel challenged Americans in Broward county because if he does this a bit further south, he might snag some republican friendly Cubans.

  • You know, I'm going to out and say it. If it serves your political ends to actively bar eligable citizens from exercising the franchise, and thus divorce governance from consent of the governed to the greatest extent possible, then I do believe that your political ideology could accurately be termed, "Un-American".

    • emmelemm

      In the comments to the article about the lady with the dog, the word "treason" was mentioned.

      I don't disagree.

    • PubOption

      Have you no shame Mr. Scott?

      • HAHAHAHA!! Oh, that's a good one!

        Wut? You're srs?

      • C_R_Eature

        At long last?

        • flamingpdog

          Pffft, even if that clown ever gets long, I doubt it lasts.

          • C_R_Eature

            This Comment Deserves a Gold Star!

    • Perhaps that is a harsh characterization. The word "ideology" is anathema to the Hon. Rick Scott.

    • bagofmice

      Let's just put him on "The people should fear their government" column in the spreadsheet.

  • spinozasgod

    isn't Rick Scott an admitted criminal?

    • Rick Scott admits nothing. And since Florida is a stand-your-ground state, if he feels threatened by your suggestion, has the right to, I don't know, burn your Quran.

    • glamourdammerung

      isn't Rick Scott an admitted criminal?

      Nope. All those 14 felonies for Medicare fraud among other forms of fraud were done by Columbia/HCA which is a person now that Scott just happened to be the CEO of.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Rick sez: "No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."

      The End.

    • wolvenwood13

      Yes, I freely admit that Rick Scott is a criminal. My husband and 2 cats do, also, too.

  • Callyson

    Broward was following the direction of the state Division of Elections, which initially identified roughly 180,000 potential noncitizens by searching a computer database from the state’s Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles. But the drivers’ license list doesn’t automatically update when someone becomes a citizen.
    The state whittled that list to more than 2,600 voters and forwarded those names to counties. A Miami Herald analysis of the list found it was dominated by Democrats, independents and Hispanics. The largest number were from Miami-Dade, home to the state’s highest foreign-born population.

    So, out of 180K cases of "potential voter fraud," they could only come up with 2600 names? Trumped up investigation FAIL!

    • PubOption

      How do they distinguish reliably Republican Cuban names from other, probably Democratic, Hispanic names, especially in Miami?

      • Negropolis

        They don't, apparently. I think the goal is to purge as more blahs (including the Haitians and Dominicans) and Puerto Ricans than you do Cubans who become collateral damage.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "analysis of the list found it was dominated by Democrats, independents and Hispanics."

      Investigation success! -Rick Scott

  • Callyson

    Republican Party of Florida Chairman Lenny Curry slammed Nelson for practicing the “worst kind of politics.”

    “Senator Nelson not only asks our public servants to ignore the threat to electoral integrity, but he implies those who meet their legal obligation to ensure honest elections are being discriminatory,” he said in a statement. “Nelson’s distortions and willingness to pit people against each other based on race demonstrates the worst kind of politics.”

    Now, how interesting would it be if some Dem somewhere decided to fight fire with fire, and start requiring "randomly selected" military personnel, residents of high net worth ZIP codes, and neighborhoods with a high concentration of fundamentalist churches to verify *their* eligibility to vote?

    Well, I can dream…

    • Right, it couldn't possibly be that, even though this voter purge has only been going on for a couple of weeks, it's already threatened to wrongfully disenfranchise over 50 times the number of individuals accused of voter fraud in the state over the past 30 years, and thus obviously poses a graver threat to electoral integrity than any supposed fraud. That would be crazy talk!

  • Here in Florida, we do not consider Medicare fraud a crime.

    • Or to be more precise, it's a victimless crime, like shooting a hoodied Skittles-brandishing pedestrian.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Fraud is Florida's most promising growth industry.

    • Katydid

      It's more of a benefit.

    • Negropolis

      The Obama administration has been cleaning up with Medicare fraud cases in Florida in particular. It's a crime unless your a rich Republican who can buy his freedom.

  • flamingpdog

    Rick Scott Bravely Purges 91-Year-Old War Hero Criminal From Voting Rolls

    I first read this as "91-Year-Old-War Criminal" (true fact, no snark). I thought, "Henry Kissinger lives in Florida now?"

    • C_R_Eature

      Votes in Florida, doesn't Live there. He may be a Criminal but he's not Crazy.

  • flamingpdog

    Is Katie Harris undergoing chemo these days? Rick Scott, SHOW US YOUR TITS!!!1!

    • Beowoof

      If you look at that picture you can see he is already showing us his penis.

  • chascates

    If you've always voted Republican in Florida I bet you have nothing to worry about.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      And if that doesn't work, there's always SCOTUS to have your back.

  • PubOption

    I'll bite. He's elderly and Jewish, what do you expect?

  • When you have no morals, it's just a question of what you can get away with. And they will.

  • Abernathy

    Sounds like a job for Katherine Harris, the original clown-faced Republican (sorry, Michele).

  • TootsStansbury

    Ima going to talk sailor talk here. Fuck these fucking assholes and their fucking shit. Fuck them all, fuck them running. Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them; to Starboard of course.

    I was having so much fun in the Mitt Romney kitteh pix thread.

    Fuck it all. We are so screwed.

    Edited to fix a comma and a semi-colon. In the dark. Ugh these assholes.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Rick Scott is a semi colon, a fucked-up fucking asshole.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think he's a total colon.

  • poorgradstudent

    I like to imagine Rick Scott and Scott Walker are in a competition for who can win the title of America's Most Transparently Corrupt Governor.

    • KotBR

      John Kasich would like a seat at that table, please.

      If not for these two pricks, he'd be getting a lot more press, methinks.

      • glamourdammerung

        And Rick Snyder, Jan Brewer, Sam Brownback,etc.

        I wonder what they all have in common?

      • Negropolis

        Kasich kind of had his ass handed to him, though, so he's been a bit quieter.

    • spinozasgod

      and yet scott walker will probably survive the recalll……..the fallout will be hell

  • C_R_Eature

    I just go here. Did a Garish IED go off earlier?

    • OldWhiteLies

      Assuming you are referring to the new masthead, um, sure; garish.

      Apparently the waif Library Sciences major "matured" and evolved into the 'trix whom now captains our Wonketteer helm. So, um, meow, also.

      • C_R_Eature

        It was a shock at first but I recover fast.

        That's just the uniform for her Night Job. Don't worry, no one's "matured" here.

        • Pay no attention to the red links.

          • C_R_Eature

            Easy, with that new header.

  • Finally, a post with a repulsive enough article picture to end my hours of masturbating to the new header. Maybe now I can scroll down far enough to read some comments.

  • M. Szyslak

    Did some hungry fucker eat Rick Scott's face? I gotsta find out. Splains the look, huh.

    • Warpde

      What happens when you use battery acid for aftershave.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Nice new design for the wonkette page. As the legitimate copyright holder of catwoman's image, which I bought from DC in 1974, I am now issuing you a cease and desist.

  • ingloriousbytch

    If the Dems were smart, they'd be taping a commercial with this guy and showing it all over Florida.

    Unfortunately, the Dems are pussies.

  • Excuse me, Editrix? All dogs are cute. Unless they're yappy.

    • Josh is a cat person, that's already established.

      • Well, rats. Always late to the party, and always lobbing the wrong line to the wrong recipient.

        • If you wanted to talk rats, you should have said that.

  • Ryy

    The goal is to only let old white people vote. Occasionally they actually stop and an old white person from voting, but hey, it's government, they make mistakes.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      What's that wonderful euphemism voiced by W and friends?

      Oh, that's right: "collateral damage"

    • Sometimes you need to sacrifice one to save the many. I'm with ya!

  • glamourdammerung

    Given how they are doing this purge and the fact that such purges within 90 days of an election are against federal law, I am seriously wondering why we are even still talking about this. Then I remembered that it is alright to commit election fraud if one is Republican.

  • myuncleoswald

    The governor to whom the young Mr. Internicola "lied" would have been Herbert Lehman.
    A Democrat, Lehman succeeded FDR in Albany, was a committed New Dealer, and went on to lead a relief agency at…(gulp)….the U.N.
    Therefore, he was a socialist Marxist commie pinko, and probably a Kenyan anti-colonialist.
    So, you see, Internicola wasn't lying on his own; he was part of a massive Democratic voter fraud scheme.

    Before there was ACORN….there was Herb Lehman.

  • greenide1

    Next, Florida is planning to deport anyone who voted for that illegal alien Obama back to Indonesia. And crown Orly Taitz queen.

  • bagofmice

    You know who else "purged voters"?

    • flamingpdog

      Chris Christie when he went through his bulemic period?

      • trondant

        Just a'one-a morra constituent? It's-a waaaaaafer waaaaaaffle-thin!

    • Negropolis

      Every state GOP Party?

    • Shaun White. Wait, what?

      • bagofmice

        That's more like a 1020 mctwist with a method grab. It works well in contract negotiations.

  • anniegetyerfun

    OK, guys, sorry if someone else has posted this, but Canada is finally getting some interesting politics. Porn, murder, AND kitten torture! I'm not actually thrilled about the kitten torture part! OK, or the murder part.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      According to the article he sent body parts to the headquarters of both the LIberal and Conservative parties. I'm sure that fellow Canadian David Brooks will be writing a column praising his bipartisanship any moment now.

      • bagofmice

        I am fairly certain that this is a case beyond bipartisanship and should be regarded as multi-partisanship.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Body partisanship. I think it should be discouraged.

      • glamourdammerung

        According to the article he sent body parts to the headquarters of both the LIberal and Conservative parties. I'm sure that fellow Canadian David Brooks will be writing a column praising his bipartisanship any moment now.

        But that everyone should still vote Conservative.

    • Negropolis

      Did you hear that the Conservatives, up there, are trying to pass legislation that would totally allow our Feds to just run across the border if they weree chasing alleged criminals? Yeah, 'cause our security theater really needs to be outsorced, right? Fuck Harper. The last thing I want is him emulating the worst of what we're doing down here.

    • glamourdammerung

      OK, guys, sorry if someone else has posted this, but Canada is finally getting some interesting politics. Porn, murder, AND kitten torture! I'm not actually thrilled about the kitten torture part! OK, or the murder part.

      Anyone heard from Republican Bill Frist lately? I figured he was going to show up right about now to try to get the Romney VP slot.

  • flamingpdog

    Catwoman needz some BLINGEE!

  • Negropolis

    The idiots probably looked at Mr. Internicola's last name, and probably couldn't figure out if it was Italian or Spanish, so they aired on the side of their own warped caution and voided him. lol

    Fuck it. Let's get real. Why don't the Republicans just say what they've always wanted to say and it is that democracy has been cancelled until further notice? Fascist really isn't too strong a word to describe what this party has become. They worship (conservative) authority, period.

    The only problem these fuckers had with George the Third wasn't that he was a king; they're problem is that they simply wanted one of their own. Thank god Washington wasn't a power hungry tyrant. We tried to make him king. And, we have the gall to criticize Canadians for their Governor Generals and royalty-ladden money.

  • flamingpdog

    OT, but has anyone ever clicked on the "Advertising Info" linkie at the top of the page? I think the editrix knows more about us than we do. But I am curious about this alleged "Moderate Party" that 32 % of us belong to.

    • bagofmice

      Welcome to market segments and geolocation.

  • Somebody help, I THINK I'M BLEEDING!

    Oh wait, never mind, I was just looking at the new masthead.

    people whose names end in vowels or “z”….

    I'm a little unclear whether this means me or not.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I'm heading to bed, but I wanted to share one more thing before I slip into a scotch and valerian slumber…

    I hate this shit. I hate how people with agendas, axes to grind, and win at any cost mentalities are driving our collective unconscious. Why can't people on the left and right try to win fairly in the "market place" of ideas? There's so much bullshit…so much subterfuge that a even moderately aware person can only shake his head and think, "who the fuck is falling for this?"

    Short answer…too many.

    Dear friends…I worry, not only for my country but for our species. We can fly o the moon and beyond, we can create life, we can fill a CD with the collected works of Billy Ray Cyrus, yet we get suckered in by forms of bullshit that are embarrassingly easy to see through. It's almost as if we WANT to be deceived…to pull the wool over our own eyes.

    I can't help but feel that now matter how this next big election plays out, we..right or left…are going to be screwed in ways our parents never thought possible.

    • fuflans

      sleep tight dashboard.

      i'm with you in sentiment and was v v sad earlier today at some other post.

      but! there's still wonkette!

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Note to self: When opening the bottle, close the laptop.

  • Ms_Anthrope

    Sorry another OT, but has anyone watched Hatfields & McCoys? Its very enlightening. The proud southern tradition of mean and stupid has been cultivated for too many generations. I don't see things getting better anytime soon.

  • Diabeetis

    Lex Luthor might as well bring back literacy tests while he's at it. On the other hand, that would arguably and ironically help create a permanent Democratic majority more than anything else, which is probably why he's doing voter suppression this way.

  • Diabeetis

    I put the blame for all of this on Chain Gang Charlie. If he hadn't decided to run for Senate, my state wouldn't have ended up with Scott as governor begin with (or Senator Rubio, for that matter).

  • fuflans

    wait! wait! i know what's going to happen! that dude is going to get completely confused about who has the REAL elder wand and he's going to get all cocky and shit.

    and then some precious little green eyed kid is going to take him out when he's not looking.


  • timbo71351

    Who are you going to believe? The 91-year-old war hero or the guy who oversaw a massive Medicaid fraud?

  • MissNancyPriss

    I feel like fucking killing him.

    • Negropolis

      Now, now, you know you're going to have to erase that, right?

  • Sheesko

    Wow. My daddy lied about his age in 19-ought-twentysomething so he could join the Army, which he stayed in until they invented airplanes which made him switch to the Air Force which he stayed in until the day he died, in a VA hospital. He never missed an election, either, so we have a really LOT of recounts ahead of us. Oh yeah, and my grandmother, too. Turns out she married a boy just a wee bit younger, and I only found this out when I was visiting my cousin recently and saw her mustering-out papers from being a WAC during WWII (the big one). We'll be re-writing history books like crazy in a few years, when the recounts are done. That's the trade to learn now, while they're still teaching words 'n' shit like that in US schools.

    • MissNancyPriss

      Christ almighty.

  • MissNancyPriss

    My Dad lied about his age to fight in WW2 to get off the chicken farm and into U of Scranton via the gi bill. His entire outfit was wiped out in the Battle of the Bulge. He was 16. He was born in a freaking orphanage in the Bronx, therefore has no birth records. He has never voted anything but straight Dem, worried endlessly about not out-living the Bush presidency, was staunchly for Obama, is now pushing 90, has Alzheimer's, lost his driver's license, and I swear to fucking Christ if anyone tries to deny Mort his right to vote in November, heads are going to start appearing on pikes in PA.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Seconded, thirded and fourthed.

      My wife's father flew B-17s in Europe (for which I'm eternally thankful) and then left the air force. He lied about his age to join up as well.

      When he got back, he took advantage of a Federal program (the GI bill? I'm a little hazy on that period of US history) to get a degree, a further degree, and then ended up teaching.

      Turns out, he was James Cameron's English teacher. Then he moved on to teach University classes in the USC system.

      Solid liberal Democrat his entire life.

      edit: now he's in Michigan, and if any cunt tries to disenfranchise him there will be hell to pay

  • Buckminster

    Friend of mine is visiting his aged parents and posted this earlier:

    "My father just started World War 3 in the weighting room. There I was, the only person under 100 in a room of 20 geriatrics, and my father starts going off about Obamacare and how it's destroying this country. He does this here, I. Youngstown, only the most democratic city this side of the Mississippi. All of the sudden this woman tells him he needs to learn how to be an America , and respect the president. All of the sudden a cripple woman in a wheel chair starts defending my fater, by screaming at the woman that she should have respected Bush. And then it happened, the entire room of gray hairs euros in anger, calling each other fascists and racists. And I thought this was going to be dull!"
    I think this just sums up the massive irritation we are all going through. I can't wait for primaries in MT and the General Election. Get 'er done.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Your friend's name is Ignatius Youngstown?

      Sorry, I got really confused by the tortured sentence construction in that whole thing.

      From what I gather, a load of insane olds don't like the black man being President, apart from a few.

      Fingers crossed that the youngs can outweigh them in the general.

  • unclejeems

    You guys know that this is some old, old shit that people like Scott are hauling up from the crypt. Like somebody said, we didn't make Washington king, but our wonderful federal system, back in the 1790s, didn't let anybody but white, male property holders–in some cases, white male property holders who were registered members of a certain church–to vote. It took us two centuries to start to get it right.

    If cocksuckers like Gov. Unindicted Felon here were honest about it we could have a debate. They could argue that, well, we just think that some of us don't deserve the franchise. We'd like to go back to where less than 20% of the adult population runs things. (They already do, but we like to pretend.) Let them offer a constitutional amendment. Go ahead–see how that works, assholes.

    So they're just taking the the coward's way out–run out whatever laws they can find to enforce to cut the voting rolls favor of their own candidates.

    The thing that strikes me, sitting here in Eugene Debs' home town at 1:30 in the morning, is that after two hundred and twenty years, we've gone back to electing motherfuckers like Scott who think that some people really shouldn't vote, that purging nonogenarian WW II vets with "foreign sounding names" from the voting rolls is just OK. And not because, as Alexander Hamilton probably thought, that these folks just don't have the savoir faire to vote. It's because they may vote the wrong way.

    And there are actually living, breathing voters out there in Florida, and other once civilized population centers, who support this insanity.

    Jesus Christ. I'm beginning to think that some of you are right. We're all fucked.

    Sorry, I don't snark here much, and this ain't much snark. I'll shut up now.

    • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      I simply say "MORE!"

      Would that I could upfist you more than once.

      • thatsitfortheother1


        And I'm still pissed about Chelsea…

        • Fukui-sanRadioBarb

          Take it and like it.

          Chelsea, winners of the Champion's League.

          It feels damn good.

          • thatsitfortheother1

            A 120 minute game, 100 minutes of which was played directly in front of the Chelsea net, and my Wurst Fressers lose at the 11 meter line.

            Might have helped had they converted one more of the 50 chances they had. And, and, and…. Ahh, fuck it. Congratulations.

            See ya at the World Cup.

  • Negropolis

    OT: Okay, so, I wake up yesterday and hell had fallen on Seattle, and then later last night I hear that there was a mass shooting in Indianpolis. This is not even to mention the semi-typical violence in the cities, like the rash of shootings in Chicago the past few days.

    Just when I think I can't be more tired of gun violence I that space. Really, nothing much left to add, but I wonder what the breaking point will be an how will we handle it? Will there have to be some armed, organized, criminal uprising that spreads into the suburbs before someone says "enough?" And, will that "enough" be another ham-fisted "war on crime?"

    • bagofmice

      It's insane, much like the wielders of the weapons. Politicians are crowing about the ability to give guns to psychopaths so that they say their precious two words, "second amendment". If only they got to the "well regulated" part.

      • Negropolis

        Regulation is apparently socialism, even if it's right there in the fuckin' Constitution.

  • I don't see who would suffer from the loss of this man's vote other than possibly Pat Buchanan.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Had I been born a year earlier, I would have lied about my age to get out of Vietnam.
    Does that count?

  • Estproph

    If Rick Scott were to get pied in the face, how would we ever know?

  • owhatever

    Dear Wonkette Reader:

    You and your kind cannot vote in Florida. You can send in an appeal, but we will ignore it.

    Thank you,
    Bubba Furp, Republican Flunky

  • ttommyunger

    Now there's a face NOBODY could eat.

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