GOD BLERSH AMERCIA  6:01 pm May 30, 2012

Send Us Your Dumb Romney-App Instagram Pix, If You Want To Be Cool

by Josh Fruhlinger

Hoagie the cat for President!OK, yes, ha ha, we’ve all had a good laugh about the fact that version 1.0 of Mitt Romney’s world-beating With Mitt iPhone app proclaimed that he would proudly lead his real home nation of “Amercia,” but I think we’re missing the important point here: the only thing this app does is overlay a series of dumb Mitt-themed graphics over whatever you want to take a picture of, and you can take a picture of literally anything, and then upload it to the Internet or whatever, which opens the door to eleven kinds of hilarity! Remember in the Wonkette days of yore, when everyone got so excited because the Bush re-election campaign let you put text on a campaign sign, and you could add stuff about buttsex and the like? With With Mitt: The App, you could actually take a picture of buttsex and make it into a fake Mitt campaign ad! Well, technically the user agreement says that you agree “that any images you use, upload, or display do not contain material inappropriate for children … [or] that is offensive or in bad taste,” so, anal is kind of a grey area, but surely no one could object to this adorable picture of your Comics Curmudgeon’s cat, could they? The image denotes what President Romney will be doing on Day One Job One, which is to say: cowering under his desk. But wait, can you do better?

Probably! That’s why Wonkette is having an Official Wonkette With Mitt Contest, in which you download the app (if you have an elitist iPhone — doesn’t Mitt know that Real Americans use Androids, or landlines?), take a picture of something absurd with the app, overlay one of the Mitt-themed frames, and then send it to us, and we put it up if we think it’s funny. You win … eternal glory? Let’s say that, since we don’t really have anything else to hand out. ETERNAL GLORY! You can even use the “Obama Isn’t Working” frame to Go Negative, like in the following picture:

Look at this lazy fuck

Here, a sleeping cat all mellowed out on catnip (kitty weed) represents what Obama does every day instead of fixing the economy (i.e., get high and take naps).

Anyway, send your hott pix (no actual pictures of buttsex, though, we beg of you) to tips@wonkette.com, with the subject line “MITT ROMNEY’S CAMERAS WATCH YOU SLEEP”. Do it, or else you’re a square! [iTunes]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 117 comments }

DaSandman May 30, 2012 at 6:04 pm

LOL here comes the dick pixs!

I'm IN Mitt!

nounverb911 May 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Cheney or Nixon?

CthuNHu May 30, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Some clever person must be in possession of a smartphone, an oven mitt, and a penchant for exhibitionism…

sbj1964 May 30, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Mitt holds a for sale sign with a picture of America on it,and a SOLD stripe across it .

OldWhiteLies May 30, 2012 at 6:08 pm

ETERNAL GLORY

Wait – do you mean a lifetime supply of … ?

Barb May 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Give me an hour to lure my husband home to help. This is going to be fun!

Negropolis May 30, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Poor Jeff. He doesn't even know what you're getting him into. lol

Barb May 30, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Oh, he knew! Nobody knows me like Jeff.

SexySmurf May 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

I'm the last person in Amercia to not own a phone with a camera on it, so can someone overlay "Day One Job One" on the picture of Mitt Wit shooting himself.

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Uh, no, that would be me. What do I do now?

redarmyzombie May 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Well, FUCK!!! That makes three of us…

sbj1964 May 30, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Mitt is looking for an apprentice job from the Donald.

cheetojeebus May 30, 2012 at 6:49 pm

4

DerrickWildcat May 30, 2012 at 7:29 pm

5

smashaduck May 30, 2012 at 9:47 pm

6

billy_reuben May 31, 2012 at 6:49 am

Er, make that… um… eleventy-seven of us. I was thinking of just photoshopping Mitt's monochrome crapola onto a picture of 'tubgirl' or 'goatse', and calling it good.

MittBorg May 31, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Yay, the Luddite Contingent's all here~!

glamourdammerung May 30, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Wow…I really should get a smartphone, but have managed to put it off for several years now and people basically call me a Luddite over that.

But even if I did, I am not going to install iTunes just to make fun of Bishop Romney.

Chow Yun Flat May 30, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Camera on a phone?!? What next, little computers you can carry around and connect with the interwebs?

WABishop May 30, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Pocket telegram services!

Designer_Radio May 30, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Like 90% of Americans, I am a hobo. How do I take pictures with the two bean cans and twine I have in my bindle? Is there an app for that?

Antispandex May 30, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Actually, I have one of those fancy phones, and I can take the pictures, but I have no idea how to send them…to the right person. I was a Luddite before it was cool.

deanbooth May 30, 2012 at 8:12 pm

I had a cell phone for a year (2007), and got one phone call. I couldn't figure out how to answer it in time.

(I don't answer the phone at work, but wait to listen to the message.)

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:18 pm

I feel SO much less lonely now!

Chow Yun Flat May 30, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Given the restrictions I suppose that "I am in Mitt's butt" isn't appropriate.

trondant May 30, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"The call is coming from inside Mitt's butt."

sbj1964 May 30, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Mitt ASk's, Who would you rather have a beer with? Damn I'm a Mormon! How about a cup of coffee with me? Damn I'm a Mormon! I know Mittens under a tree with a tall cool glass of Tea? Damn I'm a Mormon !!! Mitt have a coke ,and a smile! Damn He's a Mormon!!

sbj1964 May 30, 2012 at 6:21 pm

No alcohol,No Caffeine,and No gambling for Mormons.Just ask Mitt, he will bet you $10,000?

BarackMyWorld May 30, 2012 at 6:13 pm

AMERCIA….FUCK YEAH!

(So lick my nuts and suck on my balls…)

Not_So_Much May 30, 2012 at 6:19 pm

This is Mittens, so I think the change also replaces 'FUCK YEAH' with 'Heavens to Betsey!'

ElPinche May 30, 2012 at 7:06 pm

"Heavens to Betsey, look at my bank account balance and douse yourself in coffee"

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 2:08 am

Well I for one am all in favor of Mitt becoming President of the United States of Amercia in November. Where is Amercia by the way, and do they speak English there?

Mahousu May 30, 2012 at 6:13 pm

OT, mais pourquoi est-ce que les pubs sont en français?

VicariousMe May 31, 2012 at 10:17 am

Vous avez sans doute visité des sites commerciaux en français. Leurs pubs vous suivent sur wonkette.

Schmannnity May 30, 2012 at 6:13 pm

My 17 Mormon wives are going to be so proud.

decay500 May 30, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Will Zuckerberg buy InstaMitt?

Generation[redacted] May 30, 2012 at 6:16 pm

His stock would tank!

Sharkey May 30, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Awwwww, Hoagie! Who's a good kitty?

TootsStansbury May 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Wow too busy at work to Wonk today! Hoagie looks a lot like my little kitteh (you have to read this in cute kitteh/good doggie voice).

Mitt Romney is a stupid douche.

Mumbletypeg May 30, 2012 at 6:16 pm

(no actual pictures of buttsex, though, we beg of you)

Aw, not even of good old coon-on-dog hawtness?
Josh, you've been away too long.

fuflans May 30, 2012 at 7:06 pm

i so second that.

plus!! awesome cats!

glasspusher May 30, 2012 at 9:14 pm

So, animated buttsechs gifs then?

BarackMyWorld May 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Ooooh…new logo…

I for one welcome our new whip-wielding, feline overlord.

Not_So_Much May 30, 2012 at 6:17 pm

This is going to have more cock pictures than chatroulette (which I totally only know about because of, um, rumors and news articles).

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Read it in a book.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 1:56 am

Dear Not_So_Much,

Please send my office more information on this "chatroulette" with estimates of how many cock pictures there are and the following information

cut v. uncut
length and girth
color
piercings or tattoos

if you could collate this information and also estimate the number of these cocks that would qualify as veiny, purple-headed, sphincter splitting fucksticks and provide links to these pictures it would greatly aid in a bi-partisan investigation being conducted by myself and Senators Marco Rubio, Mitch McConnell, Joe Lieberman and Dianne Feinstein into cocks on the internet, which we are conducting for the children.

Sincerely Yours,

Senator Lindsey Graham
3rd Stall From the Left
Larry Craig Memorial Men's Room
Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510

e-mail: curious_hambiscuit69@senate.gov

BarackMyWorld May 30, 2012 at 6:19 pm

i haz android…someone use the iPhone app to put "Obama isn't working" on a pic of Osama bin Laden for me? Thx.

NorthStarSpanx May 30, 2012 at 6:21 pm

So what's today's outrage, that Jon Stewart seems to take as much vacation as Barry? Sununu had to scream at Soledad on CNN? Insurgent GOP candidate is forcing a run-off in Texas for the US Senate?

What a world Obama had to inherit, what a world Mitt is trying to 'take back.'

glamourdammerung May 30, 2012 at 6:24 pm

I wonder how many variations of "goatse" they are going to end up with.

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:21 pm

You sure know how to put a smile on my face!

nounverb911 May 30, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Okay, I'm off to the local Chinese market to photograph some pig heads.

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:23 pm

How about a pig pizzle? Those are quite something, available at your local Chinese butcher's. You could photoshop it going into Rmoney's ear, or something.

"What? I can't hear you!"
"I said, You have a dick in your ear!"

MissTaken May 30, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Does the kitty come free with the app?

glamourdammerung May 30, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Yes, just go down to the local Humane Society and redeem your coupon.*

*Color and size may vary.

randcoolcatdaddy May 30, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Oh no … I really don't want to actually see what Magic Mormon underwear actually looks like …

Blueb4sunrise May 30, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Don't know about the Mittster App., but along with the new logo, a voluptuous young lady named Vicki wants to meet me, so there's that.

Guppy May 30, 2012 at 8:59 pm

She's in your area and wants to talk to you about the benefits of going vegan!

And possibly the fuel savings of driving everywhere in reverse…

sbj1964 May 30, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Mittens on Dancing with the STARS doing the "Robot".

coolhandnuke May 30, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Day One Job One is all bass ackwards.
One Day One Job–is the number of new jobs Pres. Romney will create.

Sheesko May 31, 2012 at 12:24 am

And not even that many, if you get that he's really only switching out the one.

Callyson May 30, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Damn, my instagram skillz are not up to the task. But let's see, I can still use my imagination…who is with Mitt?

James O'Keefe, while deceptively editing one of his clips

Jamie Dimon, telling his "risk management" team that Chase is too big to fail

Meg Whitman, right after announcing the layoff of 27,000 HP employees who are not too big to be failed out

Bob McDonnell, while in the process of giving a woman a transvaginal probe (oh, OK, so she can have a sheet over the interesting parts if you insist)

Michael Steele, while attending a lesbian leather club

Hey, this is fun! Go for it, Wonketteers!

ChapterUndVerse May 30, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Lloyd Blankfein, doing God's work despite his failure to own magic underwear.

elfgoldsackring May 30, 2012 at 6:58 pm

I'm with Mitt. Now I'm on a horse. Look at him. Now back to me. I know, what were you even thinking?!

Monsieur_Grumpe May 30, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Well someone already used a cat photo so I got nothing.

elfgoldsackring May 30, 2012 at 7:17 pm

What about a dog shitting itself in terror? That's what the phrase "President Romney" conjures up for me.

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:25 pm

That's known as "Romneying." That poor dog Romneyed.

CountryClubJihadi May 30, 2012 at 7:04 pm

I can't believe I just downloaded that shit. I actually creeped myself out with my first submission. If you're stumped finding a good photo, just go to the 'Everything Ghetto" page photo archive on Facebook and have a good time.

owhatever May 30, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Tits for Mitts.

Nostrildamus May 30, 2012 at 7:14 pm
Designer_Radio May 30, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Josh, can you take pics of a black background so us iPhone-less losers can shop out the background and have fun overlaying the graphics on buttholes and turds?

Antispandex May 30, 2012 at 7:38 pm

So, just so I'm clear, if Mitt wins, I have to drown my daughter's cat?

calliecallie May 30, 2012 at 7:47 pm

"Here, a sleeping cat all mellowed out on catnip (kitty weed) represents what Obama does every day instead of fixing the economy (i.e., get high and take naps)."

I think that was W, actually.

johnnymeatworth May 30, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I am so glad I saved that picture of Osama Bin Laden with Bert from Sesame Street….

Sharkey May 30, 2012 at 7:57 pm

How did Our Wonkett miss this?

(Also, does anyone have hints how to make one of these Romney App photos with a PC instead of Apple? Also how long do we have to submit?)

TootsStansbury May 30, 2012 at 7:58 pm

"Obama ISN'T Working" because you know he is a lazy, shiftless blah person; you know how THEY are.

Romney is such a douuuuuuuuche!

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

That's exactly what they're implying. That shiftless lazy nigger is in the WHITE House layin' around doing drugs and listening to rap.

Dr. Nick Riviera May 30, 2012 at 11:53 pm

lol, my in law is a member of a british white supremacist group. He actually posted "GOVERNMENT JUST SAID WONT GIVE ME CHECK HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEED MY KIDS" and then went on an anti-government tirade which turned into a tirade about how white people are the minority in britain and oppressed, blah blah blah. It was enough hypocrisy I have expected my computer to collapse in on itself.

TootsStansbury May 30, 2012 at 7:59 pm

Oh and I am so excited to see all y'all's work. It"s like Festivus morning!

Barb May 30, 2012 at 8:08 pm

I sent mine!

Sharkey May 30, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Only one? Totally lame.

Barb May 30, 2012 at 10:22 pm

I sent five. : ) Crap, or was it six. Who knows?

BTWBFDIMHO May 30, 2012 at 8:34 pm
MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Very nice, dood/ine.

Blueb4sunrise May 30, 2012 at 11:38 pm

Cool. Could you put Mitt with the rubber glove on the left side?

BTWBFDIMHO May 31, 2012 at 1:15 am

Oops, let me try…

mormos May 30, 2012 at 8:49 pm

i'm going to take a picture of me assaulting a gay teenager with scissors!

Guppy May 30, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Oh, just overlay it with a picture of Cheney and call it a day.

rocktonsam May 30, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I lost my Mitt when I was 11 years old.

still haz a sad about that

MittBorg May 30, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I wish you'd lost THIS one, then we wouldn't have to worry about him being the Presi-duhnt.

smashaduck May 30, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I'd take a picture of my half-smoked bowl but I'm poor and bought a droid.

Sharkey May 30, 2012 at 9:57 pm

One would think at least 90% of these Romlingees include kind bud… like pissing in the wind… but even us non-Apple techies can still have good ideas!

Negropolis May 30, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Everybody knows about the ancient, English kingdom of Mercia, right?

He was saying "boo urns."

fuflans May 30, 2012 at 11:55 pm

this really really pleases me.

Negropolis May 30, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Damn, you replied before I could correct it to Anglo-Saxon kingdom of Mercia.

biblioteq_tress May 31, 2012 at 12:08 am

It was implied, sir.

Negropolis May 31, 2012 at 8:15 am

I know, I know, but I wanted my snark as sharp as possible.

Anyway, I say Mitt runs with this and runs as the president or lord protector of Mercia. I want to see him take his joke of a campaign to the English Midlands…to get him the hell out of America.

ChapterUndVerse May 30, 2012 at 11:20 pm

I'm a bit worried on account of Mitts coming in pairs. Where's the other one?

Negropolis May 30, 2012 at 11:39 pm

"Obama isn't working" because he's a lazy black person, right? Double entendre: how the fuck does it work?

Stay kkklassy, Mitt.

fuflans May 31, 2012 at 12:00 am

i want to own josh's cats.

that is all.

Negropolis May 31, 2012 at 12:01 am

Bad kitty; very bad kitty, sleeping in the litterbox.

angelfoot May 31, 2012 at 12:15 am

There's a few purdy funny ones on this here tumblr:
http://amerciaiswithmitt.tumblr.com

Negropolis May 31, 2012 at 8:26 am

The Ralph Wiggum one is perfect.

Sheesko May 31, 2012 at 12:19 am

Josh has a Persian rug, meaning he is a turrist and needs to be droned immediately.

angelfoot May 31, 2012 at 12:31 am

A snapshot of some "idiot mittens" might be appropriate.

Wile E. Quixote May 31, 2012 at 2:02 am

So now that we have "Instamitt" what can we expect next from the Romney campaign's crack team of web developers? "Mittspace"?, "Mittroulette"? I can hardly wait!

Doktor StrangeZoom May 31, 2012 at 2:08 am

I Can Haz Mittburger?

vtxmcrider May 31, 2012 at 7:42 am

Mittroulette makes Russian Roulette look like innocent fun.

toschek May 31, 2012 at 2:33 am

http://i.imgur.com/xJ6gD.jpg — and don't expect Mitt to put the seat down for you bitches.

sullivanst May 31, 2012 at 8:58 am

which opens the door to eleven kinds of hilarity!

I think you'll find it's actually eleventy kinds.

beezie687 May 31, 2012 at 9:21 am

Nice to see Wonkette getting back to its buttsex roots. Amercia for buttsex!

vtxmcrider May 31, 2012 at 9:50 am

Amercia is the moon of the planet Kolob.

An_Outhouse May 31, 2012 at 10:18 am

Can someone upload the picture of the giant turd in the toilet that we've been forced to occasionally endure?

Eve8Apples May 31, 2012 at 10:48 am

I was going to take a picture of my dog tied to the roof of my car, but I just didn't have the heart to do that to her.

SenileAgitation May 31, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Where are all the funny, funny pictures Josh? The new banner with sexy doll is Ok for masturbating, but I want to laugh clown laugh!

ttommyunger May 31, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Who thinks this shit up? Do they get paid for it? Why am I asking you?

johnnyzhivago May 31, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Winners, please???

LionHeartSoyDog May 31, 2012 at 1:27 am

7
and infinity…

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