Here is beautiful Billy LucasThere are many wonderful gospel and blues songs from and about Indiana, like this one, which you could be singing for the rest of the day! Or you could watch this tiny tyke sing about homos going to H-E-L-L. (Of course the child does not say “hell,” because that would be indecent.) So, great job in raising a child decently, for Jesus, bizarrely tall and beefy and clean-cut fellows at the Apostolic Truth Tabernacle in Greensburg, Indiana, who jump up to applaud! (Anybody else get the feeling all those dudes are either former Secret Service or future Tim McVeighs? Sup? Is Indiana the new Montana/Idaho/other awesome militia spot? Maybe the ATF could check into that when they’ve got a minute?) From Joe.My.God.

Children singing in Church to enthusiastic… by f100001838231867

Coincidentally, Dan Savage notes that Greenburg was the town where Billy Lucas killed himself after being hounded for being gay, two years ago — which in fact led Savage to start It Gets Better. We are very glad that the Apostolic Truthers learned a lesson about humanity from Lucas’s sad death.

Here, let’s wash your ears.

You’re welcome. [Joe.My.God]

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  • bagofmice

    Ah, the sounds of my youth.

    • LettucePrey

      Indeed. The memories are washing over me like razor blades in a sand storm. Praise Jebus.

    • smashaduck

      Upfisted. Cause, yeah. Same here.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      Me too. These people are the reason I love "goddamn" so much.

  • It's not like anyone intelligent or wise actually wants to stay in Greenburg.

  • Indiana is the new Indiana. They were a stronghold of the Ku Klux Klan–perhaps the state Klan with the most power–in the 1920s. Things haven't changed much.

    Indiana Klan

    • WunkRocker

      Worst state's drivers I've ever encountered. And leaving the bible belt south to drive through Indianapolis 3 times in 4 day I'd have to say those are some pretty Jesus-y folks up there.

    • supernoun

      Truth! It was only this year that the grand dragon or wizard or whatever he's called resigned. And he lives 20 minutes from my house in the industrialized (post-industrial, rly) part of northern Indiana! THIS STATE IS SO GREAT OMG

  • nounverb911

    Can we give Indiana back to the Indians?

    • Swampgas_Man

      They haven't suffered enough?

  • DaRooster

    Keep fucking that chicken poisoning them children.

    • I get the feeling this kid is already a victim of something far worse than a little mental poison

  • Mahousu

    Is Indiana the new Montana/Idaho/other awesome militia spot?

    No, it's more like the original one.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      There's been quite a diaspora over the last century.

  • Barb

    He's wearing a sweater vest. He's already a homo.



      • Wile E. Quixote

        Damn! You beat me to it.

    • supernoun

      It's too late to turn back now; I believe, I believe, I believe that kid is a homo

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Cute kid. Betcha he ends up….

    • With his picture on the Post Office wall. Although there is a strong likelihood Post Offices will be extinct by then.

      • Oblios_Cap

        …on the bottom.

    • jakegittes

      . . . with his end up.

    • ….gay-married to that lisping right-wing kid from a couple years ago?

      • Fare la Volpe

        I'm sure their parents will approve: at least they're both white.

  • johnnymeatworth

    For a more moral "Amercia…."

  • Not_So_Much

    Kids seems young to already be in a closeted, self-loathing shame spiral. I'm sure his parents are fun to party with though.

  • Oblios_Cap

    ♫Yes, Jesus loves me
    Yes, Jesus love me.
    Yes Jesus loves me.
    Unless I'm homo.♪♫

  • mrpuma2u

    Ugh. Haters gonna hate. What's the next new low for Xtians, ringing church bells as a signal to slaughter Hugonauts? Oh wait, did that already. Systematic hiding and shuffling around of pedophiles? Nope already did that….
    Thank jeebus that while they indoctrinate this young person with hate, they are teaching him not to swear.

  • MissTaken

    If Obama wasn't such a politicizer he would've given Indiana the Medal of Freedom for this.

    • Would you settle for the Meth-al of Freedom?

  • Ryy


    • An_Outhouse

      Needa moar KKK's.

    • Nostrildamus

      Needs more Ks.

  • freakishlywrong

    Indiana. Chock full of self-hating, homophobic, religious homos.

  • Goonemeritus

    My first girl friend psychically cheated on me with Bobby Sherman, thanks for opening an old wound.

    • gullywompr

      Yeah, I wanted Peter Frampton to die.

      • That's nothing. Barry Manilow stole mine.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Got you all beat. kd lang.

          • Baconzgood

            You guys pick some chicks that listen to real shitty music. I don't like that KD Lang dude's music.

          • Say, is that Liberace on your iPod?

          • LionHeartSoyDog

            Constant Craving is one of the best songs ever, in any genre.

    • ttommyunger

      Judging from the way he wiggles around, I'm guessing he's a bum lay. Looks like he's got pinworms.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    Ladies and gentlemen, the next Adam Lambert!

    • mrpuma2u

      Thank you, you hippy socialist bum zombie saviour you, that is freekin' (wouldn't want to swear) win!

  • Ruhe

    Oh, there still just butt-hurt from when that queer dude in the straw hat conned them into buying all them tubas and uniforms. So now all gays must pay.

    • FraAnima

      Friends, either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge, or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by a homo in your community.

      • Ruhe

        Freaking brilliant!

        • FraAnima

          I just LOVE musical theater…wait, what?

          • Wile E. Quixote

            I'll have you know that there are thousands of straight men who love musical theatre, thousands of us! Many of us also like the Pet Shop Boys too and have "Welcome to the Sodom and Gomorrah Show" T-shirts from their 2006 concert tour. So there.

      • BerkeleyBear

        I'm talking about Penis, just wriggling around. With a capital P, and that rhymes with T and stands for Teabagging.

        • FraAnima

          And all the townfolk chant in the background "Penis, penis, penis, penis…".

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Oh, and if you haven't watched Seth MacFarlane sing his version of "Trouble in River City" about the dangers of "reality television" you really should. He's quite fabulous.

    • __kth__

      In the uncut version, the 76 trombones are all rusty.

  • Trannysurprise

    It was a little pitchy dawg. At this level if you want to win you really have to bring the racism and hate in tune.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I just noticed that the new shouty headlines on our Wonkette are italicized on the main page but are the more traditional straight up and down on the individual pages. I wonder why that is. Is this some kind of dog whistle that I don't hear?

    • Blueb4sunrise

      It's has something to do with Poland.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Its the new computer worm/virus looking for any information on our hard drives to see if we are homo. What it does is it takes our Italic type and makes it straight.

      • But I like my font hanging right!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Stop politicizing headlines!

  • Baconzgood

    HOW ADORABLE!!! Wait…what did that kid just sing?

  • LettucePrey

    Man. The other side really does think of the children. In the worst way.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Only once they're born.

  • freakishlywrong


    • gingerland62

      Mary Magdeline? If bf means what i think.

  • Baconzgood

    And last week, that dude who cheered so enthusiastically raped a cub scout in the back room of that very church.

    • Doesn't count, not a consenting adult. That would be sick.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Excuse me while I vomit on my keyboard

    • Baconzgood

      Can you save some of that? I might need it if I run out.

  • FraAnima

    I'm just wondering if a lever action 30-30 plus a sidearm is sufficient defense against these fucktards, or if I need to reinstate my search for the "best" semi-automatic battle rifle. I thought that a band saw was a better investment, but now I'm not so sure.

  • chascates

    America is not America unless we have some minority group to victimize. Unfortunately for these people it's going to be white, right-wing evangelicals in about 40 years.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      According to those people, they've already been the victims for the last half-century.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I say we get a good running head start on it.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Well that gives me something to look forward to when I'm in my mid eighties.

    • spinozasgod

      we aren't going to last that long

    • Hacklebarney

      Oh please, please let this be so.

  • boobookitteh

    Jesus disagrees.

    Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
    1 John 3:15

    • Beowoof

      Well there you go with stuff actually in the Buybull again. Like any of these folks have read it.

      • boobookitteh

        Reading is for socialists and queers.

        I wish Jesus was real and would come back and bitch slap these assholes like he did with the moneychangers in the Temple.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Nobody pays any attention to what he has to say.

      • boobookitteh

        Why would they? He was a brown skinned socialist. Probably born in Kenya. I need to see a long form Bethlehem birth certificate.

    • Guppy

      Jesus, shmesus. Paul is the only one that matters.

      • Chichikovovich

        Don't forget "Mr. Revelation" John the Divine. (Not, I hasten to add, the same as John the Apostle or John the author of the gospel.)

        • spinozasgod

          I wish they had figured that out at the council of nicea

      • I'da thunk it was Peter

  • fartknocker

    He'll be spending his summer with Grandma Mema in Alabama.

  • Barb

    Nothing is cuter than when you dress your little prosti-tot up and get him to sing about sex in a church. He's a wheelchair and a mermaid suit away from being Bette Midler.

    • Or 40 years away from being found in a hotel with a pair of male hookers and a pound of meth.

  • YasserArraFeck

    From the "Apostolic Truth Tabernacle" web site:
    "Welcome to Apostolic Truth Tabernacle – where our doors are open to you regardless of your background or where you are on your spiritual journey"
    As long as you ain't no ass-bandit, of course.

    • Baconzgood

      Dykes too. = Rights Yasser.

    • succalina

      We should war blog that shit. Or does the editrix not allow that anymore?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Jesus must be so proud.

  • CrunchyKnee

    Future date raper is a singing sensation!

    • Tommmcattt

      With any luck he'll find himself as ground zero at a boykakke fest in about 17 years, while his parents think he's off on a bible retreat.

      Poetic justice.

      • Beowoof

        I think that happens at a lot of Buybull retreats.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    During my occasional work visits to Indy/Kokomo, I've noticed that the bootprint of Jesus lies heavily upon the land. Half the billboards are about hating on abortion, and even the fucking optional license plates that say "In God We Trust" seem to be on the majority of the vehicles. I thought things were bad here in Texas, but I feel like I gain three centuries as soon as we're wheels up out of IND.

    • BerkeleyBear

      The In God We Trust plates were made the free default at first, before the ICLU sued the state for 1st Amendment violations, so a shitload of people got them without ever asking or caring about it. So while the state is full of frothing pro-Jeebus loonies, the plates aren't evidence of volume as much as disinterest.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Too bad you can't get them customized, I'd go for something like "In Larry We Trust."

  • freakishlywrong

    These people make Carrie's mother look tolerant.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Heaven will be an eternity spent with these people enjoying their sweet music and cheesy faux-greco-roman architecture. So sad I'm going to miss out.

  • LettucePrey

    Poor kid is going to be fucked up for decades, if he ever gets over it.
    Just wait until he hits puberty. I guarantee he’ll one parent-hating gay atheist.

    • Guppy

      Wonkette Long-Term Betting Pool–His freshman year at Liberty University will be highlighted by:Alcohol poisoningA pregnancyBoth

  • sharethegrief

    I look at the sweet face of Billy Lucas and it makes me so sad that I'm having trouble snarking to this.

  • Baconzgood

    New Rule: If you're going to bash gays you have to understand what homosexuality is.

    • Buckminster

      Ya think?

    • Oh, no doubt they know what it is to be a homosexual.

  • Hell does have a nice blues festival, we should note

  • MosesInvests

    Tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs, tomorrow belongs to meeee….

    • Guppy

      I was gonna say, Leni can't do shit with a cell phone camera.

  • SorosBot

    Brainwashing your kids into hate and bigotry is a family value!

  • freakishlywrong

    Thank Jebus I drove across the country when I graduated. There are just huge swaths of this place I simply can't go to anymore. Can you imagine your car breaking down in that town?

    • "Stranger, we'll sell you th' carburetor, but yer on yer own after that, an' you have til sundown…"

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sounds like the next Stephen King novel.

  • Greensburg is so fucked up, their trees grow from rooftops.

  • Dr. Johnson had it wrong. He needed to include organized religion in his last refuge of the scoundrels.

  • Baconzgood

    I've seen some shitty low-fi camcorder videos on Wonkette. That douch bag kid singing on Mt. Rushmore, the Sara Palin people, etc. etc. But this is the worst thing I've ever seen posted.

  • Blueb4sunrise
  • prommie

    Looks like I picked the wrong day to stop shooting heroin.

    • Buckminster

      I picked the right day to resume drinking Martinis on occasion. Like Dorothy Parker, bless her soul

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Oh, for fuck's sake. Isn't this a form of child abuse?

  • Buzz Feedback

    Jesus might consider suing for defamation.

  • Poindexter718

    The cute tyke in the sweater will be belting out showtunes, sipping mineral water and urging his parents to get dimmers by the time he's 11.

  • cheetojeebus


  • UW8316154

    Needs moar lisp.

  • Wonderthing

    Children are so cute when they're being used as racist or homophobic tools.

  • SorosBot

    Since I figure we should reference Dylan in each post in honor of his Medal of Freedom, that poor kid is probably doomed; he's only a pawn in their game.

    • Beowoof

      I can hear the kid singing in 15 years, lay Larry lay, lay across my big brass bed.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Fuck you, Indiana. Just fuck you.

  • William Cumback is listed as one of the notable former residents of Greensburg. Shame his parents didn't name him Richard.

  • Nick

    I'm from Greensburg. It has a tree growing out of the courthouse tower, and that used to be the quirk that everyone noticed. I have a tattoo of that tower and tree to remind me that I'll always be from that little town. There are two little coffeehouses, the first in town; I was back home briefly last year, and was the first person ever to order tea at the one on the square.

    I mean, it's not, you know, like this. I made a comment to my maternal grandmother once that sounded to her like I was saying people weren't born gay, and she immediately laid into me. I wasn't, I was talking about some pre-natal science I'd heard about, but it sounded to her like something she'd heard from friends and family about her son, my uncle, over and over, and she was not going to let that get by without being addressed. I had a hell of a time explaining myself–her Donnie was a *gift* to her, and no one was going to tell her otherwise, least of all her grandson. It's not all like this, at least.

    For once, I don't have to tell people where Greensburg is when they ask where I'm from.

    • As the gal from Tim McVeigh's hometown, I sympathize.

  • Exhausted66

    Scary Indiana, Scary Indiana…

  • SenileAgitation

    Did I hear that lyric correctly, "Bible's right, somebody's wrong"? Then something about "See, but this amp goes to Eleven, bad dogs and homos don't go to Heaven"? Sorry, kid, your song sucks.

  • Why is it that I have a troubled teen. I didn't fuck her up like this.

    • gingerland62

      She's probably normal and smart enough to figure out what an effed up future she has in store, with the likes of these freaks in Indy.

  • Beowoof

    Well there is the evidence of why meth use is and will continue to be big in the Midwest.

  • supernoun

    I live in this state. Fucking Jesus Christ god damn hell, can't do it anymore

  • smashaduck

    True story. Drove thru Indian one time. Stopped at a Steak n Shake. Took one look at the sea of aryans, and since my mom looks a little Jewey…cause of the Jewish…and I looked a lot dykey…cause of the Indigo Girls, we decided it would be best to speak German. That way maybe they'd think headquarters sent us.

    • Chichikovovich

      What a coincidence. I was driving through Indiana with several players in my son's soccer team, back when they were about 10 -11 years old. We stopped at a Steak n Shake, ordered some heated substances for takeout, and while we were standing at the counter waiting, a Jewish kid on the team quietly sidled up to me, and whispered "that guy has a swastika on his arm". And, in fact, a guy who had just came in (who looked like a psycho-killer out of central casting) had an enormous swastika tattoo on his bicep. The couple of minutes before our food came passed very slowly.

      • smashaduck

        Wow. Just wow.

  • Did they get the audience from the same Republican debate at which the crowd went wild at Texas for having the most executions? Or was it the one where they applauded for letting someone choose to die on the street without insurance? Or maybe it was the one where they enthusiastically booed the gay veteran? Or maybe they got them here:

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Wait …. you sure this isn't in North Carolina?

  • An_Outhouse

    Was this a try out for the local Nazi Youth organization?

  • bringmeanaxe

    Where are all the blah people?

    • Makinglifehell

      In Gburg? Well, um, I think there's one or two, but they don't come out much during the day, due to the contrast and all. Nothing like being a fleck of pepper on a giant white rug.

  • Ideating on the death of public figures yesterday, check; mocking kids, check; you guys were never serious about them New Rules, were you? Something something hobgoblins little minds…

    • I prefer to think that we've corrupted our Editrix.


    • Chichikovovich

      Ms. Editrix is large, and contains multitudes.

  • Dildeaux

    Is it wrong for me to wish thats childs parents to die in a fire? One wonders…

    Indiana license plates display this: "I God We Trust". Yes, on a fuggin plate.

  • StealthMuslin

    Needz moar drone strykz.

  • rickmaci

    You've got to be taught
    To hate and fear,
    You've got to be taught
    From year to year,
    It's got to be drummed
    In your dear little ear
    You've got to be carefully taught.

    You've got to be taught to be afraid
    Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
    And people whose skin is a different shade,
    You've got to be carefully taught.

    You've got to be taught before it's too late,
    Before you are six or seven or eight,
    To hate all the people your relatives hate,
    You've got to be carefully taught!

    Rodgers and Hammerstein
    "You've Got to Be Carefully Taught", South Pacific

  • owhatever

    Hate to break it to you, kid, but there ain't no heaven.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Disney did a cartoon about this sort of thing and its consequences. You can watch it here if you're interested.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    Pentecostals are notorious for ardently and loudly yelling for Jesus. Their outstretched hands are synonymous with charismatic sects.

    When I left these horrible people, it was knowing that Jesus may never come back to them, ever, out of sheer embarrassment.

  • Franknflower

    If this kid represents the all that is good in the universe, I officially align myself with the forces of darkness.

  • Makinglifehell

    Also, too, fun fact, towns in Indiana that have a color in their name are traditionally (and ironically) considered verboten to the Cullards, as they are still called in many parts 'round here. Ah Indiana, the backwater shithole slice of Dixie that somehow emerged above the 38th parallel.

  • glamourdammerung

    Religion of Peace.

  • spinozasgod

    the Indiana plate has "In God We Trust" on it…..

  • lochnessmonster

    What is really disturbing is the adults giving him a standing ovation in church…

  • spinozasgod

    We keep having to expand our "crazy state" list. I'm begiining to fear that there are more of "them" than "us" and that the future for our children or, in my case, grandchildren is going to be very ugly.
    I live in Wisconsin, WISCONSIN for gods sake is going RED big time, Walker is way ahead now in the polls. What if we end up under republican rule….all out…house senate presidency….. what kind of place are we becoming?
    sorry, I forgot the snark

  • pinkoschminko

    Lots of older dudes in that church…was that a NAMBLA meeting?

  • Buckminster

    Who teaches a precious baby to say such evil things? I am beginning to give credence to the concept of Original Sin and believe it has to be beaten out of the crotchfruit by nuns.

  • Negropolis

    Ummm…Indiana isn't the new anything. Indiana is the same old KKK-sheltering Indiana it's always been.

    Okay, so I'm going between anger and sadness that this amounts to child abuse as far as I'm concerned, and then intense laughter that the kid literally runs a rope-line of high-fives. lol I mean, it's like an SNL skit until you realize it's real life.

    Until these fuckers love Jesus more than they hate gays, they can't legitimately claim him. Period. You can't have both.

  • ttommyunger

    I'd forgotten why I drove to Indiana so many weekends from Fort Campbell for the scorching hot 'tang always ready up there. This all sort of helps explain it, I'm thinking.

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