Straight from the opthalmologist's office or GTFOThere we were, trying to find stupid Donald Trump or someone on the teevee — because this is our life, people. This is our life. And all of a sudden, there was Barack Hussein NOBAMA!!! hanging a medal around the neck of OG farmworker hero Dolores Huerta. It was no stupid Donald Trump, but we guessed it would have to do! The fun thing about the Presidential Medal of Freedom is the president gets to personally pick his or her (haha right) heroes, and while we imagine it’s also VETTENINGED to death by his or her (haha right) staff, it still gets that personal flava. ALSO it is fun in an election year to put on our Politico hat and decide that everything is a baldly partisan bid to shore up constituencies, and so you have your Dolores Huerta (‘Spanics), your founder of the Girl Scouts (girls), your John Glenn (Ohio, the moon), your Toni Morrison (awesome old ladies with Medusa hair), your Shimon Peres (Jewishes), your Bob Dylan (hippies, boomers, jerks who think it’s cool to wear shades to your Medal of Freedom honoring), your Madeleine Albright (girls, Jewishes, secretaries of state). And then there was Pat Summitt.

“Come see this lady, she hates Obama she can’t even look at him!” someone shouted to her little brother, who rushed right in. “Nah mang, that’s Pat Summitt, she’s the lady John Wooden, she’s THE BEST,” someone’s little brother explained. There was something really wrong with her, he couldn’t remember what — Parkinson’s? MS? — and then the announcer explained it: Summitt has early-onset Alzheimer’s, and then there was a big Michelle Obama-style arms-enfolding hug, and nobody hated anybody, and lots of people (not saying who) watched it three times in a row, and cried so much.

You might note that Your Wonkette has not addressed the unholy flap that ensued past midnight in Poland because Nobama honored an officer in the Polish Underground who brought world attention to Jews being slaughtered during WWII and mentioned “Polish death camps,” when he should have called it a “‘German death camp in Nazi-occupied Poland,’ to distinguish the perpetrators from the location.”

Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski called it a matter of “ignorance and incompetence.”

The Poles believe this is a terrible slur against Poland. Your Wonkette thinks it takes considerable chutzpah and/or balls to be more offended that Treblinka was called “Polish” than that it existed. Your Editrix, as a Polish-Russian Jew, thinks Poland can go fuck itself.

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  • Polish Foreign Minister Radek Sikorski called it a matter of “ignorance and incompetence.”

    Oh. The helicopter minister?

    Editrix, it's a slippery slope you're talking of here. Next thing you know, some commentator will question whether combat fatalities are all heroes….

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Anyone want to bet on how long before Sikorski's wife, Anne Appelbaum of the Washington Post, writes an indignant column about this?

  • BTW, Francisco Franco appears to be still dead, based on that photo up top.

    • Jane, you ignorant slut…

    • Preferred Customer

      Weekend at Franciscos?

  • Barb

    And you never hear Poland bitching about constant references to Hitler about Obama.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    Polish-Russian Jewish Solidarity Forever!

    • Polish-Russia?

      Shouldn't we Polish-China and then the silverware first?

  • It's Preznitting While Black aka PWB.
    When a black man does it, it's political. When a white man does it, it's called statesmanship.

    And considering Poland's history with the Jews… well, I can understand the editrix's feelings.

    • sewollef

      And despite Poland's, ahem, dubious relationship with those of the jewish bloc, plucky England once again went to war to save their sorry asses.

      You'd think we Brits would've learned after going to war to protect plucky little Belgium the previous go round, but oh no, we just had to go 'protecting' some other good for nothing country against overwhelming German military technology. What's wrong the the Brits? Thank god for the channel, and the "few" of course.

      Don't we get it yet? We're a small fuggin country, albeit with cute accents and some marvellously talented musical combos. But I digress.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Yeh, because the Poles universally loved the Jooz

    • BerkeleyBear

      Especially barbecue flavor.

      • Hot from the oven!

        (I'm so going to hell, amn't I?)

        • Exhausted66

          I just wanted to mark this spot to remind me to come back and look for the "comment deleted by user" lines.

  • Going for the Moonies AND deathcamp votes. PANDER!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sorosbot has a bazillion p-points. How come no Presidential Freedom Medal for him?

    • Barb

      He's Canadian.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Oh, and Shimon Peres is from, what, Brooklyn?

        • He's Lauren Bacall's first cousin.

          True fact!

          So Sorosbot has no one to blame but himself for choosing his parents poorly!

      • Well, maybe he should go back to Canadialand where he belongs, and leave Amercian snark jobs to Amercians!!

        • Wile E. Quixote

          Fuck no! Canada owes us for sending us David Brooks, David Frum, Mark Steyn and Charles Krauthammer (who was born in the US but was raised in Canada until he was 18 or so, and French Canada at that!)

          • Dan Ackroyd? Ted Koppel? Pamela Anderson? Samantha Bee AND Jason Jones? Peter Jennings? James Randi? Peter Puck, for God's sake????

          • MoeDeLawn

            Rolf Harris! Alex Trebek! Lorne Greene!

            Sheesh. Does anyone stay in Canada?

          • SorosBot

            But what about Celine Dion? The Titanic song alone is a crime against humanity right there.

      • MissTaken

        Even worse, he's Belgian.

        • SorosBot

          Hey, you know I'm a Scottish-English-Norwegian-Swedish blend.

          Basically really, really white; there's a reason I cannot tan.

        • Barb

          Does he make you those fancy waffles when you spend over the night?

      • SorosBot

        I wish! Then I could go up north and get actual health care!

  • What's the matter with these Poles? They can't take a joke?

    • Wile E. Quixote

      It's not that they can't take a joke, it's that you have to explain it to them, very, very slowly.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I was going to comment that Bob Dylan is really showing his age, but then I realized that the picture was of Bob Dylan.

  • I knew it was only a matter of time before Dylan would go medal.

    • Nostrildamus

      Slow clap …

  • glamourdammerung

    and mentioned “Polish death camps,” when he should have called it a “‘German death camp in Nazi-occupied Poland,’ to distinguish the perpetrators from the location.”

    Yes, "Nazi death camps run by Poles" would have been a much more accurate description.

    • RedneckMuslin

      They weren't as nice as the camps run by the Ukrainians.

      • glamourdammerung

        The Ukranians did not have any "death camps" (the ones that were devoted solely to killing the prisoners). Poland on the other hand, had all of them but two.

        I think this is a case of a guilty conscience making some folks cry really loud for no good reason.

        • Damn Germans and their outsourcing.

        • Generation[redacted]

          Ukranians didn't bother building camps, they just shot Jews out in the woods.

        • MosesInvests

          Ukrainians were just the guards at death camps in Poland. And don't get me started on the !@#$%$ Lithuanians….

  • glamourdammerung

    Also, giving Bob Dylan that medal was totally Mitt's idea and we should all thank him for it.

  • ♪♫ A hard reign's gonna fall ♫♪

    Oh shit, that is what Mittens is singin'.

    / staggers off to lyrics files

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I doubt that the Editrix was around then, but "John Glenn (Ohio, the moon)" should actually read "John Glenn (Ohio, low earth orbit)." And he's still Neil Armstrong's bitch.

    • "Thermosphere," to be accurate.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        At least his coffee stayed hot.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          How did the Thermosphere know that the coffee was supposed to be hot?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Obama's just sucking up to AIPAC, trying to buy the Jewish vote. Why else would he be giving Bobby Z the Medal O Freedumz?

    • He's Jewish?

      I mean, again?

      • Geminisunmars

        Being Jewish is something you never get over.

      • MosesInvests

        True story-I know the guy who was Jakob Dylan's bar mitzvah tutor.

      • SorosBot

        Luckily his Jesus period; which not coincidentally was also the only period his music was actually not very good (except for Jokerman, I will still have to give Jesus-Bob credit for that); only lasted for the late 70s and early 80s.

  • freakishlywrong

    Now the Poles are using the ginned-up outrage against Barry? The Times, they are not a changin'.

    • Oblios_Cap

      didn't he forget them during a debate with Shrub?

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Other than sausage, what has Poland actually contributed to humanity? Hmmm…

    • Vodka? The butt of every joke ever written?

    • SexySmurf

      The fire-proof match?

    • RedneckMuslin

      Solar powered flashlight?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Screen doors for submarines?

    • MissTaken

      Polka? Oh, you mean contributed to humanity, not inflicted.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Well there was this woman named Marie Sklodowska, who is better known by her married name, Marie Curie. There's was also this guy named Nick Copernicus. Oh, and another guy named I.I. Rabi, and it was the Poles who invented the Enigma machine, and helped the Allies crack its codes. Oh, and there was that Joseph Conrad guy, and Jerzy Kosinski, and this guy named Casimir Pulaski, who saved George Washington's life. Outside of that I'm drawing a blank though.

      • chicken_thief

        I was gonna go with Doda. But there's that Pope fucker, too. Also.

      • Chichikovovich

        Chopin and maybe Paderewski, if you're into that whole music thing. A bunch of important mathematicians, notably Banach and Tarski.

        Edit: Oh, yeah. And if there are any Liverpool supporters among the Wonketteurs and Wonketteuses: no Jerzy Dudek, no "miracle in Istanbul".

        Edit II: And let's not forget Lech Walesa, thanks to whom we got a chance to view the mind-blowing spectacle of Reagan honoring a trade union leader.

        • Wile E. Quixote

          Why would it be mind-blowing to see Reagan honoring a trade union leader? He was quite the union thug himself back in the day.

        • doloras

          Rosa freakin' Luxemburg, for you commies out there.

      • Bezoar

        I would have to add Frederic Chopin.

      • James Michael Curley

        Lech Wałęsa

      • James Michael Curley

        John Paul II

        • SorosBot

          He said contributed, not inflicted.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        I am impressed with your Google skills.

        • Wile E. Quixote

          That wasn't Google, that was five minutes before I had to hop in the car and drive to work. Google was last night's post on the stupidity of the Rmoney rule.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Shit! I can't believe I forgot about Art Spiegelman, who is an American of Polish descent.

      • You forgot Chopin. Don't forget Chopin. and Stanislaw Lem, too, also.

    • calliecallie


      • It's not like other people didn't have dumplings, but you have a point.

        • James Michael Curley

          But how many cultures fill their pirogi with kiszona kapusta?

    • JerkCade

      Krzysztof Kieślowski

  • Breitbart Headline: "Nazi Sympathizer Obama blames Poland for Death Camps."

  • RedneckMuslin

    Polish Death Camps. He's talking about the future, people!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    What, no love for the other Wilburys? Sure, there's a foreign one, a dead one, and a foreign one that's dead, but Petty's still around and he could go posthumous with Orbison.

    • Which one's the foreign one? Otis or Clayton?

    • fartknocker

      Traveling Wilburys is a favorite on the Fartknocker playlist.

      • MoeDeLawn


  • RedneckMuslin

    Wow, Pat! Talk about trying to be like Reagan with your Alzheimerz and all. Socialist!

  • CrunchyKnee

    The boomer olds all got a collective chubby over Mr. Zimmerman's eye wear.

    • Sayyyyyyyyyyyy! They'd look great with the onion on my belt!

      • jqheywood

        Wasn't that the style at the time?

    • James Michael Curley

      Probably "Flight Goggle 58", by American Optical, now AO Eyewear, Inc. Roughly the original 'Aviator' sunglasses. I've been buying them for years.

  • I have a confuse, why did Obama give the Medal of Freedom to Paz de la Huerta, Jim Morrison, and George Zimmerman? Those seem like weird choices.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Whereas a basketball coach makes perfect sense.

  • Marginally related: This time ten years ago, Polanski's The Pianist took the Palme d'Or at Cannes. I might like to re-watch that now.

    • Bezoar

      Amazing and powerful movie. Great Adrian Brody, he should get better used.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Dylan wore the shades 'cuz he was stoned and forgot to pack his Visine.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Mitt is pissed because his father, his grandfather's wives, Karl Rove, or Donald Trump didn't get Freedom medals. He knew that Trump didn't deserve one- yet – but it would have at least gotten Trump off Mitt's back for an evening.

    Oh, and who better deserves a posthumus Medal of Freedom than Seamus. Things are gonna change when Mitt and his harem move to 1600.

  • HempDogbane

    Hugo Chavez looks great in shades !

    • rocktonsam

      I thought that was Leon Redbone and he does deserve a medal for something also

  • Not_So_Much

    He should give one to Trump to commend him for making everyone else look so smart. And normal-colored.

    • chicken_thief

      "And normal-colored. "

      Except Boehner.

      John wept.

  • LetUsBray

    Poland's run by wingnut bishops and their apologists, isn't it? It's like if Bill Donohue were president here.

    • Polish bishops make Bill Donohue, wretched excuse for humanity that he is, look like Francis of Assisi.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Related, Scott Walker is all pissed off because Obama discussed Static-X's "Wisconsin Death Trip" album with Dylan.

  • el_donaldo

    We know Ken Layne isn't around anymore because he'd feel compelled to add several grafs to the post about how awesome it is that Dylan wore shades to the ceremony.

    With or without, I feel obligated to point out that Dylan is old and dresses funny even when he's wearing a tux.

    • LetUsBray

      Plus the 'stache makes him look like Vincent Price.

    • Bob Dylan is the Kim Jong Il of music.

      • doloras

        Does that make Leonard Cohen the Nicolae Ceausescu?

  • dijetlo

    Summitt has early-onset Alzheimer’s

    Today, we all have early-onset Alzheimers

    • Not so early anymore for some of us.

      • Geminisunmars

        It's mid-morning here. Now where did I leave my

        • dijetlo


          I was told there would be sammiches.

    • LetUsBray

      That would explain why Willard is polling as well as he is.

    • Shoelace!

    • What were we talking about?

      • dijetlo


  • SorosBot

    I can see why the Polish are so upset; I mean they fought so hard to protect the Jews from the Nazis, they certainly didn't welcome them with open arms and then eagerly hand over all the Jews for extermination.

    • Generation[redacted]

      And when the war was over, Jews were welcomed back into their communities. Poles certainly didn't steal their homes and tell them to bugger off, but first would you please tell us where you hid all the gold?

  • Looks like Dylan needs a defibrillator more than a medal.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Ha! Jokes on you…the medal is a defibrillator.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Your Editrix, as a Polish-Russian Jew, thinks Poland can go fuck itself.

    I believe the Germans (and Russians!) pretty much did that in WWII. Didn't they solve Poland's population problem by reducing the amount of oxygen being drawn there by about 50%? They did, I hear, do a pretty good job of fertilizing the forests, though.

  • SorosBot

    Hey, while wearing shades to a hearing like that would normally be rude, let's face it, this is Bob Dylan, he's earned the right to do anything he wants to. And it's not just hippies and old people who like him, but anyone who loves great music.

    • anniegetyerfun

      No. I know this makes me an incredible square, but anyone with healthy eyes shouldn't be wearing shades inside.

      My parents done raised me right, that's why.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    In the picture…is that the dude from the Polish underground? Wow…he must be 90 or something. Looks good, despite the blindness.

  • Arken

    Now that Wonkette has switched to this all-in-caps headline format, it feels like you're always yelling at me and it makes me sad.

    • LetUsBray

      The new look is definitely a bit harsher. Please don't forget that underneath all the Trucknutz and buttsechs comments, we're mostly touchy-feely libruls here!

      • iburl

        I can vouch for the touchy-feely part. Actually, more like gropey-molesty.

        • I prefer to think of it as fondly-caressy, thank you.

        • anniegetyerfun

          We always supply lube, also.

  • iburl


  • I'll never forgive that Lady for going electric!

  • under_score

    Oh Editrix, here is fellow Polish Jew Davis Frum to the rescue, to tell you why you are wrong about the Poland self-fuckery:

    "Polish anti-semitism is of course a very real thing"

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Frum's article is bullshit. Everything he says about how the Jews found Poland a hospitable place to live could be said of Germany before Hitler came to power. What a fucking cunt. If there's anything I hate worse than an American conservative it's a Canadian conservative who emigrated to America to become an American conservative (Frum, Brooks, Mark Steyn and Charles Krauthammer, who is basically an anchor baby).

      • Chichikovovich

        The one example he comes up with to illustrate how wonderful the Poles were to the Jews concerned Abe Foxman's parents giving him to the nanny when they were shipped off to a camp. And that wonderful nanny raised him! (sotto voce:) As a Catholic. (even sottoer voce:) And refused to give him back when the parents came back from the camps. (sottoest voce:) Until the real parents got the court involved. (not mentioned at all:) And that was presumably Soviet courts, not Polish ones, since that territory was, post-war, part of the Soviet Union.

        And that's supposed to show off the good side of Polish-Jewish relations!

      • anniegetyerfun

        Didn't you read the part about where the Foxmans had a nanny? That proves that Poland loved the Jews forever and ever and no Poles collaborated with Nazis, not even one.

  • Between Obama talking about death camps and Marion Barry calling them Polacks, the Poles have a lot of recent beefs with the Schwartza.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      I believe that they prefer to be called "Bohunk-Americans".

  • Dildeaux

    Dylan does folk, then goes electric. Now Dylan goes catatonic. Someone best be mixin up the medicine for Bobby STAT!

  • BerkeleyBear

    This Polish PM is apparently a former National Review columnist/right wing shill, so take everything he says with a pound or so of salt. Plus Poland is smarting because after 8 years of getting reliable BJs from America in return for signing on for any and all coalitions of the killing, Obama went all realpolitik on them and said they didn't need US built and funded missile defense bases since it honked off the Russians.

  • widestanceromance

    Another year Glenn Beck is robbed of his win! Don't you all see what's really happening here, sheeples?

    • When there's a Presidential Medal For Glue Huffing, Beck will be first in line

  • metamarcisf

    What happened to the one for Tracy Morgan? EGOT libel.

  • Failed_2_Menace

    Lech me, ski patrol.

  • notreelyhelping

    Bob's wardrobe has always had a slightly Twilight Zone feel. He's neither ahead of the times nor behind them. He's more…beside them. But he wrote "Visions of Johanna" so all is forgiven. Speaking of what salvation must be like after awhile….

  • sewollef

    Grr. This is almost as farcical — and dare I say it — as much bullshit as Robert Mugabe being 'promoted' from corrupt dictator to tourism czar.

    It begs the question, What The Fuck is wrong with the Poles? And my missus is of Polish extraction [except born, like everyone else in the United States, in Brooklyn]. So no offense, babe.

    • An_Outhouse

      They don't live in America, that's what's wrong with them.

  • mavenmaven


    • glamourdammerung

      They should make a "defecating all over yourself and rolling around in it for a few days to chicken out of Vietnam" award just for Teddie.

  • boobookitteh

    Your Editrix, as a Polish-Russian Jew, thinks Poland can go fuck itself.

    As a commenter whose real last name is a random assortment of consonants ending in 'ski', I second this.

  • Come here a minute

    How many roads must a man walk down
    Before you call him a man?

    All of them, Katie.

    • SorosBot


  • calliecallie

    There goes the Polish vote.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    I'm still pissed about the Hawaiian attack on Pearl Harbor.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      The Hawaiians? Shit, here I was thinking that it was The Germans.

  • Come you masters of war / you that send all the drones

    The times, they haz changed.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Before Dolores Huerta and Caesar Chavez started the United Farm Workers Union, farm workers in the US were here legally. Many came from Mexico and Central America. But they also came from around the world.

    Through hard work and great risk (Ms. Huerta was assulted, her internal organs ruptured by a club, etc.) they got some basic rights for workers in the field – toilets, no short-handled hoes, actual pay for work, the right to work, etc., etc.

    The UFW opposed illegal immigration. They went down to the border and forced people back into Mexico – that's how strongly they felt about it.

    After their organizing successes, illegal immigration into the US increased dramatically…

    Coincidence? I think not.

  • I used to spend a lot of time working in Europe and I learned one thing – they ALL hate each other and have very thin skin about it.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    During Romney's first day in office, Ted Nugent will be getting the Medal of Freedom … for target practice.

  • Beanball

    Say, aren't those Ray-Bans?

    Those things aren't cheap!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Were it not for the bow tie, I might easily have mistaken that photo of Bob Dylan for a photo of my 94-year-old aunt in Florida.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Paul Simon and Bob Dylan appeared in concert once. At the end of the show, one of the fans wondered while being roughly the same age, Paul Simon looked better than Dylan. Another fan replied that it was because every night Paul went home with Edie Brickell and Bob went home with Jack Daniels.

  • An_Outhouse

    I thought heroes had to be dead people who killed some coloreds (yellow, brown, whatever).

  • Redgyal

    But did he tuck them. .???

  • Good thing I started reading at the bottom, cos you had me at Polish-Russian Jew.

  • carlgt1

    This "scandal" is laughable considering the Senile Saint Reagan and his "Bonzo Goes To Bitburg" to mourn the Nazi SS "victims"…..

  • Wile E. Quixote

    For some reason every time I read the phrase "Polish death camp" I envision something like this.

  • Billmatic

    Really too bad that Pat got Alzheimers before she was afforded equal opportunity to coach men.

    I still can't understand why some AD at some third rung school wouldn't just send her an offer sheet to coach their men's teams anytime since 1990.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    There's no pleasing the wingnutz. You forget Poland and the wingnutz bitch, and then when you remember Poland the wingnutz bitch about that too.

  • Hey, outraged person: Don't let the screen door* hit ya where the good lord split ya.

    * on the submarine

  • Buckminster

    Of course, we can't honor those heroes with medals and stuff, because thinkspeak and the political landscape is changing and Look a Turtle. What a world. Please, I am trying to drink beer here.

  • anniegetyerfun

    As a Polish Russian non-Jew (but I guess my grandmother went to a labor camp of some kind, for being rich or Catholic or something?), both Poland and Russia can go fuck themselves, always and forever.

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