the vetting

‘Politicizing’ Now Simply Refers To Obama Saying Anything

The point is that he's blackBlah blah Breitbart who cares, we know, but don’t you fancy this headline? The poor sucker who had to update on Memorial Day, and knew he had to slam Obama for speaking on Memorial Day somehow, settled on “Obama Politicizes Memorial Day” after Obama said that there shouldn’t be wars unless “absolutely necessary.” This is what counts as politicization now: saying the same fucking thing every politician has said on Memorial Day every year since forever. PRO TIP: If you are considering making the argument “Politician politicizes X,” just go stick your head in the unflushed toilet for a few minutes instead. You’ll get more out of it.

Here’s the Reuters write-up that led to conclude that Obama had “politicized” Memorial Day, the existence of which is more of a “politicization” than anything:

“As commander in chief, I can tell you that sending our troops into harm’s way is the most wrenching decision that I have to make,” Obama said shortly after laying a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

“I can promise you I will never do so unless it is absolutely necessary and that when we do, we must give our troops a clear mission and the full support of a grateful nation.”

Boo! Send them into harm’s way and don’t even care about it and do it when it’s not in any way necessary , and then don’t tell the troops what to do and give them zero support of a hateful nation, instead. In other words, Keep America Strong, because that’s the way it’s been done for centuries.


About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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        1. MittBorg

          Dude, if Santo relaxes you, you got more problems than I can help with. He just makes me want to, in the immortal words of DashboardBuddha, "clench and run."

  1. Barb

    Didn't Brietbart's minions ask for the long form birth certificate of the unknown soldier? I mean, we don't know who this guy is. He could be a Kenyan in there.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "Puppies are sure cute!"

      "I'm Lascauxcaveman and I approved this message."

      (This message was produced and paid for by The Caveman to Congress 2012 Committee.)

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          Well, this has been an especially brutal campaign this year, my friend.

          So when my opponent came out with his "kittens are warm and furry" ad blitz, I knew it was time to take off the gloves.

  2. BaldarTFlagass

    Obama: "I gotta go drop a deuce."

      1. Rotundo_

        Yes and all of us subersive liberal types will be gathered around singing "All we are saying, is give piss a chance" while strumming our guitars and playing our harmonicas, doing our best John and Yoko (oh hell throw Dylan and Pete Seeger in there too, for good measure) imitations, howling away at the anti Bowel and Bladder excretion types across the street.

  3. BlueStateLibel

    Silly libs, Obama should have said that we should send our troops to war for fun and profit, after all, that's exactly why Republicans do it.

    1. Rotundo_

      When it gets down to it, aren't most of them fought for those reasons? Someone somewhere is making a buck while all of the slaughter and destruction is going on or afterwards in the reconstruction. Show me a war where the Krups, the I.G. Farbens, the Dow Chemicals, the General Dynamics, the Lockheeds, the Bell Helicopters folks or their equivalent hasn't turned a rather healthy profit. Smedley Butler was right about war being "a racket".

      1. MittBorg

        Hear, hear. War, like politics, is a competitive sport for the rich and powerful, in which the pawns must shed their blood and lose their all.

      2. BlueStateLibel

        After Pearl Harbor, I don't think FDR had much choice.I'd argue Vietnam was misguided principle – containment of the Soviet Union. Spending billions and billions in Iraq and Afghanistan to run down a loose group of terrorists that could easily move their operations to another country – that was for fun and profit.

  4. mavenmaven

    Big Government Headline: Wonkette Politicizes Toilet Flushing
    -liberals shove "if its yellow" rule down our throats!

  5. PuckStopsHere

    It's too bad Dick 'n W didn't "politicize" their wars in this fashion. There'd be 6,440 more Americans who could have celebrated Memorial Day yesterday with their families.

    1. ProgressiveInga

      Right. And let's not "politicize" this old saw from Rummy, either:
      "I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today would last five days, or five weeks, or five months, but it certainly isn't going to last any longer than that." ~Donald Rumsfeld, Defense Secretary, November 14, 2002


      1. Generation[redacted]

        Now that's just patriotic. "Don't worry, we'll be out of there in a few weeks. Now get on in there!"

  6. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I heard Mitt's "Non Campaign Speech" on Memorial day, in which he attacked Obama for half the speech. What was the Ghost of Breitbart's reaction to that?

    1. Rotundo_

      They have either of those in conservative circles these days? I can't recall seeing any present in those circles for 40 some years. Might be some sort of nostagia thing on their part if there is guilt or conscience to be observed.

      1. MittBorg

        Indeedy, my friend. They haven't yet shown the slightest smidgen of shame for their forty-year plot to destroy the country. Assholes, on the other hand, they've shown us they have an awful lot of.

  7. MissTaken

    Ew! Is that what Breitbart's site actually looks like? Or is that the new, post-glitchy Wonkett? So much yelling! B is for Boo.

        1. Fare la Volpe

          True story: the one time I tried to enter a Breitbart site, my Avast anti-malware alarm fired off "THREAT HAS BEEN DETECTED." Apparently conservatard sites are full to the brim with viruses and spyware — they're dicks even to their own followers.

        2. SorosBot

          I followed our trolls over a few times back in the day, and it was fucking scary. Angry, bitter racist morons were everywhere. I have avoided them for ages now; you're doing the right thing.

  8. Beowoof

    You know, I think most of the dead guys and their families may actually agree with Obama. I know every time I go to the wall in Washington, I think about what an absolute asshole LBJ was when it came to the war. Names of friends on the wall and the memory of all the guys I knew who came back badly damaged gives me reason to agree.

    1. SorosBot

      Although you can't just blame LBJ for it; both Eisenhower and Kennedy started the Vietnam involvement. And not that it makes up for the war, but LBJ's domestic accomplishments were just amazing, with the Civil Rights and Voting Rights acts, along with Medicaid and a great expansion of social programs. He was still the second best President of the 20th Century, after FDR.

      1. Beowoof

        That's why I qualified the statement when it came to the war. You are correct that LBJ did some amazing things. Also, Eisenhower and Kennedy share the fault, however so does Truman in that respect. Ho Chi Mihn was looking for an ally in the late 40's and Truman said no. Too much of a commie. It is a quagmire from which will still suffer the consequences of and we will long into the future.

        1. LionHeartSoyDog

          "Too much of a commie."

          Too much of a civilized human being.
          Much beloved, and Uncle Ho was a poet, to boot.

          (they wanted me to go kill Vietnamese people in the 60s, and like hundreds of thousands of others, i told the draft board: Eff Yoo.)

        2. MittBorg

          Such fools the leaders of the country were! Mao Tse-Tung, and especially Chou En-Lai, reached out repeatedly to the US. Instead, we chose to stick with that miserable Peanut, Chiang Kai-Shek, that gangster, that profiteer and compradore, that zou-gou, hind leg of the running dog.

    2. MittBorg

      Most of the vets I know would prefer NOT to be sent off to war. There's always crazy people, thrillseekers, and stupid people. The stupid people usually sober up after their first taste of war. The thrillseekers, about half of them get cured, and the remainder keep on seekin'. It's the crazies that long for war. Ask anyone who's ever served. They're glad they came back, sad about those who didn't, and anxious that their kids — and everybody else's — don't suffer the same fate.

      1. unclejeems

        The ones who don't have to go to war lust for war. They stay home and bank the profits.

    1. actor212

      No. The "R"s are different. The "A"s have a different cross-member. You probably have a gay font.

      Breitbart probably uses Comic Sans

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        The "N"s are different too. I think the Wonkette font is Impact, right? The other is some Arial/Helvetica knock off.

        Though, I am not really a Font Nerd as my choices might be waay wrong.

      1. MissTaken

        Dude, your avatar gives me the heebie-jeebies. I had a nightmare from that movie mask this weekend.

    2. deanbooth

      Being an old, these changes frighten me. I print out Wonkette to read it, and these big headlines also use more of my ink fluids.

  9. KennyFuckingPowers

    Holy fucking shit! Back to back World War Champions oughta not be taklin' that shit.

  10. Pop_Socket

    This wouldn't be politicized if there weren't a party actually in favor of unnecessary wars. Heck, there's a party against Chevrolet. And some varieties of motherhood. Jury is still out on apple pie.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      I was doing a court records search today and came across a case titled "John Smith vs. 1996 Chevrolet Camero" [sic]. Apparently this is a fairly common sort of thing.

      If I were the defendant, I'd at least want my name spelled right.

  11. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    What happened to "war just because it's wednesday and we're bored?" I miss that motto.

  12. tbogg

    If Obama doesn't send any more people to die in wars, Chris Hayes won't have anyone to hate fuck on teevee.

  13. veritass

    Just read the article and replace "politicize" with "punchisize*." Way less frustrating.

    *"Do you want to Dimpisize your meal for a quarter more?" "Do you want me to punchisize your face for free?"

    1. SayItWithWookies

      If there is any justice, he's clawing at the inside of his coffin. But probably just still dead.

    2. C_R_Eature

      Andrew Breitbart did release a statement to the press:

      " *Gurgle* pppppppppttthhhh! *Gurgle*,*Gurgle* Hisssssssssss. "

        1. C_R_Eature

          I dunno, there was a lot of potential energy in that corpse, what with the adipose tissue, wine, coke and rage and all.

          1. C_R_Eature

            I wonder it the Breittards have spirited him away to a Secret Lair where his perfectly-preserved corpse is lying under glass, a copy of the US Constitution clutched in it's right hand. Select acolytes can enter the Chamber, touch the glass and be blessed. For a fee.

  14. BaldarTFlagass

    No doubt the Breitbart video of Obama's Memorial Day speech has Sabbath's "War Pigs" playing in the background.

  15. SorosBot

    "As commander in chief, I can tell you that sending our troops into harm’s way is the most wrenching decision that I have to make. I can promise you I will never do so unless it is absolutely necessary"

    Well that's a bit different than his predecessor, who I believe said, "As commander in chief, I can tell you that sending our troops into harm's way is the easiest decision that I have to make. I can promise you that I will never do so unless I feel like it. Who are we kidding? Pow, boom, war is awesome!"

      1. SorosBot

        And he would never politicize the wars or national security, no never. Now watch this drive!

      2. proudgrampa

        You know, Numbnuts said a lot of stupid things. And we put up with his stupidity for 8 freakin' years. But to this day, declaring himself the "Decider" was, IMHO, one of the stupidest things he ever said.

  16. SoBeach

    All these pissy little conservative temper tantrums are going to add up to one big win in November.

  17. MittBorg

    I just want to point out that, six years ago when NotDeadYet Breitbart yelled about anything, there was a Mighty Wurlitzer echoing in the Echo Chamber. Now Breitbart's FinallyDead, BennGleck is reduced to screaming at a minimal talk radio audience that can't see his blackboards, Lush Flushbowl's numbers are dropping like Republicans to their knees in the presence of koch, and the erstwhile lapdogs and whores of the media are reacting with a mild critique rather than the usual simpleminded, singleminded chorus of bays, oWOOOO!

    Good work, Mr. President, sir.

  18. Generation[redacted]

    Shorter Dead Breitbart: "Unnecessary war? You're talking about Iraq, right?"

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    All I can say is that it's a good thing that the Bulls didn't get very far in the playoffs, these fuckers would be crucifying Obama by now for pulling for them.

  20. pinkocommi

    We certainly have tried the policy of "no wars unless debatably in our short term interest," and that hasn't worked out so well for us.

          1. Arken

            STOP RAPING PEOPLE!STOP RAPING PEOPLE!STOP RAPING PEOPLE!Wait, what were we talking about?

  21. edgydrifter

    I was amazed and dismayed to see the poll numbers this weekend showing Mittens heavily favored by veterans. Apparently they feel cheated out of getting their names carved on a slab of granite somewhere and are adamant that their kids and grandkids should have the chance to die young in a needless fight far from home that a hundred years from now nobody will know/care about. Yo, vets–thank you for your service and all, but seriously, WTF?

    1. actor212

      It's not as bad as you think: Vets traditionally vote Republican, and Obama stands a real good chance of stealing some of those votes away. That's why Romney's been forced to shore up his military support, and why he's been saying some really stupid things about troop reductions and failed foreign policy.

  22. Baconzgood

    Those absolutely necessary wars are a crock of shit. When I was a kid we'd go out on saturday, get a tank of gas, drive around smoking reefers, drinking Ripple and we'd illegally invade Cambodia for shits and giggles.

    1. Butch_Wagstaff

      They tend to burn too easily after you put them on the grill due to the red-hot rage that's already inside them.

  23. Baconzgood

    I really can't think of a war ever that wasn't political. Isn't that the building block for any civilization/government structure?

  24. Ryy

    If I was a Breitbart editor, I would just keep it simple and direct:

    "Uppity negreo still in Whitehouse"

  25. a_pink_poodle

    Why does Obama insist on politicizing the English language? It's like he wants a 1984 world where he's Big Brother!

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Next speech, Obama should just throw a box of those words that are magnets at them. "Obama politicizes random words in no particular order!!"

  26. Fare la Volpe

    A man who doesn't want to murder his own citizens?

    Truly he is history's greatest monster.

  27. SayItWithWookies

    Yeah, it's blatantly partisan to pretty much paraphrase what's already the law of the land. Though now that makes me want someone to politicize the hell out of that "we won't go to war unless Congress declares war" bit.

  28. widestanceromance

    If only Obama would stop there, but no, he politicizes while blah. Way worse than the guy who shall remain nameless who had the job before him, who at least had the decency to be white.

  29. Jus_Wonderin

    Gawd the comments over there are hideous. Scary to know those folks are out there. Scarier to know what I feel I want to do to the posters when I read those hideous comments.

          1. iburl

            Attack the USA and you too can receive:
            New Schools!
            Thriving Anti-terrorism Industry!
            New Bridges!
            New Leaders*!
            U.S. Taxpayer Cash by the pallet-full!
            More new Schools!
            More replacement Bridges!

  30. actor212

    Hm, you know, I recall another American president saying something similar….was it "A people free to choose will always choose peace. "

    Some doofus. Liberal President of a Hollywood actor's union, I think.

    Yes, Yes, I know, I just politicized Ronald Reagan.

  31. Pseudonymously_Joe

    “I can promise you I will never do so unless it is absolutely necessary and that when we do, we must give our troops a clear mission and the full support of a grateful nation.

    So what Breitbart's ghost is saying, basically, is that it's a fundamental conservative principle to wage war frivolously, with no clear objectives, and with scant actual support for the combat mission? I think the lady doth protest too much.

    1. qwerty42

      I believe that is pretty much the way they have come to view it. Plus, torture is a family value. Lots of good stuff follow from these.

  32. Generation[redacted]

    You watch. I bet Obama is going to politicize this entire election.

    It's time we got politicians out of politics! Vote teatard.

    1. starfanglednut

      And mention his accomplishments too! Politicians should never mention their accomplishments in an election year. Unless they are republicans,in which case they can just cold make shit up, and talk about it incessantly.

  33. Doktor StrangeZoom

    I have learned first-hand that ordering Americans into battle is the hardest decision, even when it is right. –George W. Bush

    I can tell you that sending our troops into harm’s way is the most wrenching decision that I have to make–Barack Obama

    The hyper-politicized language of the second example is really quite obvious when you view the statements side-by-side.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      See, now that you're a famous blogger, everything you say is even more important of course, but no doubt dude. I can't even get past the WHAT? WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? Long enough to put together reasoned arguments.

      All I can say when anyone says ANYthing is "bbbbbbuut – Dubya? Sputter stammer swear stomp off."

      "…even when it is right, or makes me feel better about my dad, or because Dick said to do it for the moneys." So ridiculous.

  34. George Skullfry

    Why yes, it's as plain as the difference in skin tone between Bush and Obama.

  35. Wile E. Quixote

    I think we need to intervene in Syria and start a war with Iran but I think that our troops deserve a break, which is why I'm in favor of the Conservative Draft act of 2013 or ConservaDraft™. The ConservaDraft™ will draft all conservative commentators and politicians who have not served in the military and give them a chance to prove their manhood by getting sent into harm's way. Now, many of you might say "But Wile, what good is a dumb, lazy, doughy pantload like Jonah Goldberg going to be in a combat situation" to which I reply "Well, we won't know until we give him a chance, will we?" ConservaDraft™ will also be open to the handicapped, some people might look at Charles Krauthammer and see a bitter moral and physical cripple who would be absolutely useless in a combat situation. I look at Charles Krauthammer and see someone who, with the aid of a couple of Arduino controllers, could become an absolutely fantastic remote control bomb disposal robot. The ConservaDraft™ will also be open to the mentally disabled as well, which will give Ted Nugent what he's always wanted, a chance to shoot at something that can shoot back at him. Now that Dick Cheney is retired he has lots of time on his hands and no other priorities to get in his way like he did back in the 1960s, so let's reward his service as vice president by giving him an opportunity to shoot one of America's enemies in the face.
    The ConservaDraft™ will be an equal opportunity draft open to all conservatives regardless of how old, how dumb, how fat, how lazy, how stupid or how crippled they may be.

    Let's give conservatives a chance to show us what they're made of. Conservatives who have not already served in the military will be inducted, go through basic training, be given an M-4 carbine, body armor, a uniform and a parachute and air-dropped over Iran and Syria as the spearhead of our mighty invasion forces. Let's let America's conservatives lead the way and show us how it's done.

    1. Fukui-sanRadioBarb

      Radar operator Saeed Esfahani: We have something on radar, sir. Several things.

      Air Marshal Karim Tehrahni: What are they?

      Esfahani: I don't know, sir, but they're HUGE.

    2. GeneralLerong

      Conservatives … air-dropped over Iran and Syria…

      Bombing a country with rotten eggs, eh?

    3. ElPinche

      We should send Rush Limbaugh in without a flack jacket and just see what happens (save some tax money cuz i want my cuntry back) .
      He's thick skinned like a beluga.

    4. MittBorg

      I want you to go see that film, The Sleep Dealers, before you implement this, OK?

      Because the Krauthammers and Cheneys need to be ON THE SPOT to fight these wars. Forget this drone shit.

    5. C_R_Eature

      Back in '05 several people, including the estimable Late Steve Gillard, started Operation Yellow Elephant, as the website says:"…a nonpartisan grass-roots citizens' initiative to Support Our President by encouraging his strongest supporters [otherwise eligible: age (41-and-under), sexual orientation, health, moral, etc.] to consider serving in our all-volunteer military." A clever way to shame right wing war cheerleaders to putting some of their own skin in the game (yeah….sure).
      I remember seeing video clips in 2005 of these guys confronting College Republicans at various College Republican functions and offering to help them sign up. The excuses were hilarious. And Infuriating.

      1. Wile E. Quixote

        The beauty of ConservaDraft™ is that there are no excuses, because freedom doesn't accept any pussy excuses. Conservatives have the choice of immediately reporting to the nearest ConservaDraft™ induction station within 24 hours of receiving their ConservaDraft™ notice or of being declared in default of their ConservaDraft™ obligations. Conservatives declared to be in default of their ConservaDraft™ obligations will be hunted down surveyed by special teams from our No Conservative Left Behind squads.

  36. HobbesEvilTwin

    to be fair to the breitards (and god knows I really don't care about them), I wish every elected official would just stfu and try to do some governing.

  37. proudgrampa

    Yet another free pass these racist assholes are getting: a white president would NEVER be accused of politicizing anything.

    1. George Skullfry

      a white Republican president would NEVER be accused of politicizing anything.

      (See, e.g., Clinton, William Jefferson)

      1. proudgrampa

        I might agree with you, but the INTENSITY of the BS from these people is clearly aimed at the color of Obama's skin, whether anyone admits it or not.

        See Wonderthing below…

  38. Wonderthing

    Every time they open *their* mouths they may as well be saying (and I'll 'polite it up' since I can't speak that way) "Shut up Negro Man and get out of the place a white man has held from the beginning of White. Stop your uppity speaking and your pretentious knowing and let a dumb fuck in. Because of stupid all over America, that's why and not caring to an extreme. Boo poor negroes who want to eat foods, too and steal our lawns. For education which they will squander on negro drugs and music. Bah!"

  39. C_R_Eature

    O/T Urgent Astronomical Geekery Post (but only for Manhattanites – or those close. LimeyLizzie?)

    Today is Manhattanhenge! Thanks, to Neil deGrasse Tyson.

    From the site: "…on May 29th, and July 12th, when the setting Sun aligns precisely with the Manhattan street grid, creating a radiant glow of light across Manhattan's brick and steel canyons, simultaneously illuminating both the north and south sides of every cross street of the borough's grid. A rare and beautiful sight."

    Manhattanhenge times for 2012. (Arrive a half-hour earlier than the times given below.)

    Manhattanhenge: half sun on the grid:

    Tuesday, May 29 — 8:17 P.M. EDT
    Thursday, July 12 — 8:25 P.M. EDT

    Full Sun on the grid:

    Wednesday, May 30 — 8:16 P.M. EDT
    Wednesday, July 11 — 8:24 P.M. EDT

    Better Hurry!

      1. C_R_Eature

        Yeah, they were using a base twenty number system and their Chief Mathematician Priestlost one of his fingers in a freak maize chopping accident.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Rats, standing in gutters, looking bewildered

        ( in Ernest Borgnine voice) "Geeze Lousie, Maahty, it's frickin' light on both sidezah da street!"

    1. George Skullfry

      You gotta like this guy.

      While we are on the subject, when viewed from all latitudes north of the Tropic of Cancer (23.5 degrees north latitude), the Sun always rises at an angle up and to the right, and sets and an angle down and to the right. That's how you can spot a faked sunrise in a movie: it moves up and to the left. Filmmakers are not typically awake in the morning hours to film an actual sunrise, so they film a sunset instead, and then time-reverse it, thinking nobody will notice.

          1. C_R_Eature

            Yes! Never mess around with a Nerd Perfectionist who has access to a full-sized Planetarium. I love that story and the Time article was good, too thanks!

  40. chascates

    Yes, the most appropriate, non-political Memorial Day address is something like:
    "We must honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice by making sure that we are the most feared and despised power on earth which by the way will ensure that we will never run out of heroes who have made the ultimate sacrifice."

  41. DahBoner

    If only we had a White Republican president, none of this politicizing would ever happen!

    //snort, snort

    1. George Skullfry

      If only we had a White Republican president, none of this politicizing would ever happen be remarked on by BigFuckwit.!

  42. C_R_Eature

    As far as I'm concerned, they can ship the whole Breitbart Blog to Afghanistan, and no one has lost any

  43. ttommyunger

    OT: can we find another verb for Willard wrapping up the Nomination other than "clinching"? Something about that connection makes me want to reach for the brain bleach.

  44. ttommyunger

    Commented on one article, showed up on another. Not that I give a shit, but WTF?

  45. rickmaci

    I don't think we will need to wait very long for this Breitbart to drop dead too. Good riddance.

  46. greenide1

    The best way to make sure you're not politicizing war is to strut around in a flight suit waving a banner that says "Mission Accomplished!" Everybody knows that.

  47. niblick77

    Why haven't we impeached this guy yet…….is what my repug 'friends' would say.

  48. biblioteq_tress

    "Politicize." This is one of those right wing habits, akin to picking one's nose and rubbing it on the wall, that disgusts me so much I can't even snark about it. This is why Roger Ailes needs to be filled with nitrogen and floated above 5th Avenue with corks in his mouth and anus.

    Excuse me while I run over to a different website and look at recipes derived from "Game of Thrones" before I turn green and explode out of my clothes.

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