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The day I see ladies shake hands is the day I kill myself, apparentlyThe Daily has a story up about this fellow, Sidney Barthwell, who was a high school classmate of Mitt Romney’s and a law school classmate of Barack Obama’s. It sounds nice! We didn’t read it. But have you seen this photo that complements it, in which Mitt Romney is smiling and pointing a gun to his jaw?

We’re thinking this should catapult up to #1 on the Wonkette Mitt Romney Stock Photo List — well, maybe #2, behind the fudge/rubber gloves one, which must be respected. But isn’t this just beautifully sadistic?

And what do the women say; the women say nothing.

Again:

It’s just a funny picture, is all.

[The Daily]

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  • tihond

    "Hey man, nice shot!"

    • See, this is why Mormons do not belong in American colleges. They have a different concept of "doing shots".

    • ElPinche

      "Mitt Mannequin, you're no Budd Dwyer"

      • horsedreamer_1

        Wonkette. Commentary unfiltered.

  • Schmannnity

    Romney Roulette

    • Dashboard Buddha

      5 bullets, 1 empty chamber?

  • PULL THE TRìGGER FIRING MECHANISM!!!!!!

  • Barb

    And he's been shooting his mouth off ever since.

  • edgydrifter

    More like "Romney: Believe In Nothing."

    • dsgruntled

      Or everything, depends on the time of day!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Holy underpants! So the 'Car Elevator' turned out to be a secretly engineered Time Machine Romney used to go back in time and pander to the NRA!

    • tihond

      In theory, they would be opposed to the poor gun handling. On the other hand IOKIYAR

  • bumfug

    Nice Manson eyes.

    • He's Got Charlie Manson Eyes

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Is that better or worse than Marty Feldman Eyes?

    • Also: Unabomber Unibrow.

      No, I have NO fucking idea if the unabomber has a unibrow. It just looked so … fey.

      • He may have had one originally, but if so he singed it off fairly early on in his career.

        • Really? I thought he was busy singeing off *other* people's brows.

          Edit: I said "singing," heh.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Are those his sister-wives meeting for the first time?

    Oh and I first read the headline as "Pointing a gun at his Jew" but then again I spent most of the weekend watching old WWII movies.

    • oops, "Jaw" was a typo

      • And here I was hoping you were chanelling Robert Klein

      • Boojum

        He doesn't actually shoot Jews, but he knows lots of people who own them.

        • More likely, he knows lots of people who shoot them for sport.

        • Veritas78

          He owns a lot of Jewish lampshades. "These are hard to come by these days, you know!"

    • You too, huh? Which ones?

      • Generation[redacted]

        The Dirty Dozen – classic. Also Battle of the Bulge. a good one with Henry Fonda that I hadn't seen before. Seems like Telly Sevalas was the standard tough sargeant back in those days. Midway wasn't as good as I remember.

        I suffered through the first part of The Green Berets, but like when I saw it as a kid, I couldn't get past the part where John Wayne says of the village elder, "Does he speak any English?" I'm now convinced that movie was made by psychopaths. Also, if you watch it, play the game of spot the non-Vietnamese ethnic playing a Vietnamese character, and drink every time you see blatant racism.

        Then the Band of Brothers marathon started, and that was pretty much the rest of my weekend.

        • Ha, excellent list. I just saw Midway again, and enjoyed it, but then again, the first time I saw it was at my parents' home and World War III was raging around me. Hard to enjoy movies under such circs. I'm not sure I could bear The Green Berets, having just read way more VietNamese history than I even knew existed. I'd want to dig up John Wayne and piss on him. I think Battle of the Bulge is on my Netflix list, but I'll check. Saw Dirty Dozen decades ago, but maybe it could stand another viewing. Thanks.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Where's Neillist when we need him?

    • Let's see if I can channel:

      Commie pinko scum!

      That is the glock 3759200722XX4300BCC itty bitty baby edition, which takes 2,000,000 millimeter hollow point bullets, blah blah blah gun terminology. It is suitable for teaching one's infant to shoot (in case of a sandbox invasion) but the grown man who uses it is a pansy.

      Harumph,

      Neilist

  • Preferred Customer

    Why is Gidget wearing a tablecloth from an Italian restaurant and shaking hands with Hillary Rodham?

    • Actually, I thought the blonde might've been Ann Romney.

  • And what do the women say; the women say nothing.

    "OhpleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasePLEASE!"

  • Baconzgood

    ASTRA 680 OR GTFO!

  • boobookitteh

    That's exactly how I feel when I think about a Romney presidency.

  • GeorgiaBurning

    This could be a new Nike ad

  • tihond

    Mitt Romney is Tyler Durden. This explains SO much.

    • vodkamuppet

      The first rule of white club is dont talk about white club.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Holy cow…I nearly came when I saw that.

    • Boy, you got some weird hairtr~!gger there, DbB.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Don't judge me!

        • I t'aut we wuz frenz. If you can't judge your frenz, who CAN you judge?

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Well, otay.

  • Jon-Erik Hexum libel!

    • nounverb911

      World's stupidest man.

      • Chichikovovich

        Totally. Gives male models a bad name.

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Blanks, how do they work?

  • aguacatero

    It's his second most suicidal photo — after the Bain money one.

  • Goonemeritus

    Privilege is so often wasted on the boring.

  • HempDogbane

    Need to watch Animal House again. Is he the one who went on to be a gynecologist?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Nah, Otter was cool. You're thinking Gregg Marmalard; "Nixon White House aide, raped in prison, 1974."
      .

  • noodlesalad

    He's just surveying his jawline.

    • When jaws are outlawed, only… well, *YOU* know…

    • Also, would have thought he'd try jaw self-deportation first.

  • MissTaken

    I saw this clip on RedTube yesterday. It ends with the girls completely ignoring him while he sits in the corner rubbing his gun alone.

    • Boojum

      Today we are all Mitt Romney.

    • 7 point 6 2 millimeter full metal jaaaacketttt..

      • Generation[redacted]

        Yo, Mitt. If you get elected, we're both going to be in a world of shit.

  • SorosBot

    Is he doing a Bud Dwyer impersonation?

    • Baconzgood

      That never gets old….and neither does Bud anymore.

      • SorosBot

        I saw that live on TV, when my local station cut from the kids' cartoons to the press conference. It was so fun to watch at ten years old!

        • Baconzgood

          I saw it live too. Horrrrraaaay inter webz for keeping it alive in all it's disturbing glory.

  • metamarcisf

    He was a quiet man…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Top picture—is Mitt sporting a little Woodrow there?

    • MissTaken

      Oh god, I think it's a little Cheney. http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/di

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Good god. I'll never unsee that.

        • You've been here WAAY longer than me, and you still haven't learned? There's hope for me, then.

      • SorosBot

        Aaah, I wish I was blind!

        • Ever play "blind gynecologist" with MissTaken, SorosBot?

      • HAH! I've LEARNED my lesson, Wonketteerz. Never again shall I be suckered into clicking YOUR FOUL LINKS!

        Besides, I happen to know exactly what pic that links to, and I STILL can't bleach it off my eyeballs.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        That's his sagging sack. It falls out of his pants' leg when he stands up.
        Now I'm going to have a bleach cocktail…

      • Tundra Grifter

        I was going to guess he went to Dick Cheney's tailor. You beat me to it!

    • widestanceromance

      After applying my best package-checking skills, I conclude this is merely fabric folds. Why would he even need human genitals?

    • Very leetle.

    • Dildeaux

      Downside:
      Magic undies cause bulges.

      Upside:
      No need to spend lavishly on Depends.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I never want to know the horrors living in the dark recesses of Romney's psyche.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So that's what douchebags looked like back in the 60s. Sweater has evolved into popped collar.

    • Terry

      It's odd how some people's style really hasn't changed much since high school. Not odd, more like sad.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Man, everything I try to post about this ends up being deleted by the administrator.

    • Yeah, I had a few of those. That admin script is JUMPY.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      You can't mention the trlgger.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    That's actually offensive to me. No snarkin'.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Probly shouldn't have used that as his facebook profile.

  • "Vote for me or the Mormon gets it"
    -Mittens 2012.

    • MosesInvests

      Better do what he says, boys-I think he means it.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        Mitt says "Don't laugh, you're next."

    • OneYieldRegular

      "Buy this campaign or I'll shoot this dog on my head."

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Chicks dig guys with guns!

  • Wile E. Quixote

    And if the revolver had actually gone off it would have been like the end of Terminator when the T-1000s outer shell has been destroyed and its cold, gleaming metallic skeleton is revealed.

    • Oh god I need my OLD MittBorg av back.

  • Rmoney, Past to Present:
    Now fully Koch'd; still gleefully Loaded.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Wonkette, should I send a Photoshop?

  • msrhpvt

    And the two women shaking hands? Agreeing on a sister wives pact?

    • OneYieldRegular

      What I want to know is: which one of them lost the bet?

      • LetUsBray

        Ann, clearly.

  • "See fuckers? I told you I was lifetime NRA member!"

    — Willard.

  • widestanceromance

    Dumb-ass is likely to just take some skin off his chin holding it so far away from his head-like circuit board. Point it a little farther back and there'd be fireworks!

  • Virginie Razzano just beat Serena Williams in the craziest fucking match I ever did saw.
    Oh, and uh, what's the deal with the cap gun? Kinda weird.

  • Crank_Tango

    See, this is what happens when robots don't get enough alcohol to keep their circuits from rusting.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Bender, promise me you won't get behind a wheel without at least two beers in your system.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    SWEAR TO JESUS that's Hillz on the right.

    • ANN! It's ANN! Hillz wouldn't nevah have been caught dead with the likes of that stupe.

  • hagajim

    Looks like Mitt was trying to have it both ways even then.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    rope=gun

    • Preferred Customer

      No, this merely illustrates what happens when you don't give a man enough rope.

  • OneYieldRegular

    It's just like Rodin's "The Thinker," except that it isn't.

    And who wrote that fantastic caption – Jeane Dixon?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Shoulda said "Give a guy enough rope and he'll auto-asphyxiate himself."

  • HempDogbane

    "Watch this drive."

  • Who's the little porker on Mitt's right? Perhaps he's playing one of his famous "pranks" on her? "Hey, look, Sal, I'm so excited about our date tonight, I'm'a blow mah brainz out!"

    No?

    • TribecaMike

      At BYU, as in all of Utah, fingerfucking is a sport the whole family can enjoy.

  • What's the point of waving the photo around, to bait commenters so you can delete their posts? The article is actually more interesting:

    “When they debate, Barack will smoke Romney,” Barthwell, a district court magistrate in Michigan who attended boarding school with Romney and Harvard Law School with Obama, told The Daily.

    “Mitt Romney is smart,” he said. “Having said all that, I still think he’s going to get smoked. The best he can do is hopefully come out not looking like a fool. Mitt will find out the hard way as soon as they have their first debate: You don’t debate Obama.”

    “Mitt was not particularly popular. He was very, very ordinary. He was an average Cranbrook student,” said Barthwell, 64.

    “He was not an athlete, he was not a student leader, he was not a scholar. The thing that separated Mitt there was that his father was the governor of Michigan.”

    “Mitt’s a very — he wouldn’t want me to say this — he’s a liberal-minded person. His father was a social liberal, almost a civil rights champion,” Barthwell said, referring to former Michigan Gov. George Romney, who famously walked out of the 1964 Republican convention to protest the party’s turn to the right on racial segregation.

    “People like me who know Mitt are sort of baffled about how he comes off on the trail.”

    Barthwell didn’t attend Harvard Law until later in life, in 1987. Obama arrived a year later, and quickly became involved in the campus political scene.

    “He was a ‘Good Brother,’ if I may be so bold to say. There was a bifurcation [at Harvard Law]. You had the preppy, Ivy League-type black folks who’d never seen any black folks other than on TV. That was about half of them.

    “The other half would be people such as myself and Barack,” he added, “and guys who were not necessarily wealthy or had that much money but were from the community and were serious about trying to do some good in the black community and weren’t just there looking for the money. Barack was in that second category.”

    • HateMachine

      “Mitt’s a very — he wouldn’t want me to say this — he’s a liberal-minded person. His father was a social liberal, almost a civil rights champion,” Barthwell said, referring to former Michigan Gov. George Romney, who famously walked out of the 1964 Republican convention to protest the party’s turn to the right on racial segregation.

      GOP asking for a do-over on the primary in 5, 4, 3…

    • Christ, because it's a funny picture? I'm not deleting any posts. I'm sorry if there are tech glitches today.

      • I didn't realize there was an issue with posts getting deleted today, so I wasn't accusing you, just commenting on the irony.

    • Thank you, Chet!

    • fuflans

      not for the first time, you made my day.

      • I'm imagining that guy doing the interview as Richard Pryor's "Mudbone"…

        "Yeah, I knew that boy Willard. Useta run around the dorms beatin' up on sissy boys. But like I say, if you love cuttin' hair so much, you probly got a beauty shop in yo' own closet, you know what ah'm sayin'?"
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=940OVw2MSwM

        • mayor_quimby

          "yeah, I knew Willard, that nigga owe five dollars!"

  • OldWhiteLies

    That smug look of the laydeee on the left frightens me.

    Looks likes she is planning to twist the other one's arm off and beat her to death with it – um figuratively speaking of course.

  • Chichikovovich

    Have you ever seen the Polanski movie Repulsion, where Catharine Deneuve goes slowly ever more deeply insane over the course of the movie? And then the final frames pan over some photos of her as a teenager and you see in her eyes that she was crazy back then too?

    Anyway, it's a compelling movie. Don't know why I thought of it just now.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Catherine Deneuve is one of the most faptacular women ever to appear on screen.

    • God I loved that movie. "Compelling" is a good description.

    • NetFlix streaming FAIL! (Too often, these days.)

    • TribecaMike

      Terrific movie. Polanski's more recent political thriller "Ghost Writer" is also a very good film based on the themes he does best: paranoia and claustrophobia. I think his "The Pianist" is an almost flawless film. What could be a better setting for paranoia and claustrophobia than being surrounded and hunted by millions of psychopaths who literally want to kill you? In a way, it's the ultimate zombie movie, made all the more frightening because it actually happened.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The hot blonde is totally flirting with the frumpy chick in the tablecloth. Way to go frumpy chick! You're my new hero!

  • carlgt1

    obviously he was going to shoot himself because under new Mormon law both of those women could not be his wives….

  • JustPixelz

    Naturally the liberal lamestream media doesn't condemn this kind of violent imagery when a Repubican is the target.

    Mitt sees two hand-holding lesbians and only one bullet.

    He was going to hang himself. But he needed NRA support, so he changed his position.

  • DeathOfIrony

    That Bieber hair "bang hanging" down over one eye….that's JUST NOT RIGHT!!!1!!!!

  • DrunkIrishman

    HOLY FUCK, 1990s HILLARY CLINTON IS A TIME TRAVELER!

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      Musta used Barry's time machine in a slick move to undermine Romney's future presidential runs.

  • Raskolnikova

    Puuhl Dee Treeeggah!!

  • Mitt Romney realized that he, too, will have to spend a week with the RNC, in Tampa, in the summer.

  • Wile E. Quixote
  • TootsStansbury

    That little gun wouldn't have done any damage. Now if he had clapped a powerful magnet upside his head-unit…

  • mavenmaven

    That device is what the GOP refers to as a "surveyor's mark".

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Overcome with self-loathing after having sex with chunky Sally Field in gingham Mitt Romney considers ending it all.

  • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

    What an un-Christian thing to do.

  • LetUsBray

    "And this is the final pose millions will take the morning after I'm elected president!"

  • fctimes

    Can someone please come up with a Facebook cover using this pic?

  • FYI I am not posting the funny picture just to bait commenters into deleting their posts, as one crank is suggesting. I am posting it because it is, in my opinion, a funny picture, and wonkette frequently posts funny pictures instead of the potentially more interesting articles to which they are attached. I have not deleted any comments. We are having tech issues today, or you are just using some previously glitchy word. BUT PLEASE, COMPLAIN.

    • sezme

      That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

    • Crank Kincaid here, and I already explained myself in a different reply.

  • comrad_darkness

    As an atheist, if I had to face the future as a Mormon, or any religion, I'd probably threaten to blow my head off too.

  • Slim_Pickins

    You sure that isn't a shorty beer bottle?

  • comrad_darkness

    I actually think it's a pop-gun. Which is more appropriate to demonstrate Willard's long history of impotency.

  • thedeathofirony
  • ElPinche

    Vote Romney
    –When you absolutely, positively need to shoot America dead in the head.

  • todwest

    Cap gun. Used to have one just like it when I was a kid. The light-colored magazine was so law enforcement wouldn't think it was a real gun. It took these little plastic percussion caps that were really loud. I mean real-gun loud.

    Romney is still a total douche, though.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    Wasn't this guy in the movie Deer Hunter?. Same crazy eyes anyway.

  • Angry_Marmot

    Nihilists? Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Well, my opinion of Romney just went up, for the first time. That's fucking punk rock. I love the handshaking… totes cool.

  • owhatever

    We agree to his offer, then. We will give this turkey an around-the-world two-some for $100,000 while he sucks on the pistol.

  • Punk-ass chump. That's a fucking starter's pistol; shoots blanks only & doesn't even have an open barrel for the wadding to off you Jon-Erik Hexum style.

  • Generation[redacted]

    …be white?

  • Troglodeity

    So here's a routine photo of two girls shaking hands at some school event, and suddenly Romney photo bombs them while HOLDING A GUN TO HIS HEAD. Sure, there's undoubtedly a logical explanation.

  • TribecaMike

    The best part is the two women shaking hands in agreement with Willard's juvenile antics.

    "Say, Veronica, you did remember to replace the blanks with live ammo, didn't you?"

    "Gosh darn it, Betty, this mescaline is so strong I even forgot to wear my white gloves."

    "To make up for your unfortunate faux pas, and show these squares that we're mod and contemporary, let's burn our bras!"

    "Girdles, Betty, girdles. Remember your place."

  • DahBoner

    See?

    He's not boring. OK, a big flaming wussy jerkoff bully, but not boring…

  • ttommyunger

    Willard did well to be sheltered from youngsters like me growing up. I'm pretty sure I would have been forced to fuck him up.

  • UncleLooney

    So on we worked, and waited for the light,
    And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
    And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
    Went home and put a bullet through his head.

  • rickmaci

    "Give a guy enough rope and he'll hang himself."

    Who ever hung that headline over the 1965 photo of El Mittinez was f *ing brilliant.

  • TribecaMike

    The original campus newspaper entry: "During a recent RC Cola and Moon Pie-sponsored campus function, Willard Romney's friends turned the tables on the well-known and feared campus cut-up by spreading a rumor that he was born in Kenya. 'I'd rather be dead!' he shouted, as he pretended to shoot himself in the jugular vein. Oh, that Willard is a card! A good time (and plenty of guilt-ridden dry humping) was had by all, and at precisely 9:30 pm everyone went back to their dorm rooms, virginities intact. And many thanks to Donna for bringing Pat Boone's naughty new platter! Fortunately for her and us, her father is the CEO of Standard Oil, or else she would have been put on academic and marital probation in her sophomore year. It's fun being young and alive!"

  • StealthMuslin

    I want to dig up the yard of every home Mittens has ever lived in. Hobo bones or bust!

  • mayor_quimby

    Impregnate a brownish servant?

  • Isyaignert

    The two nice ladies look like they're congratulating each other on getting Rmoney to off himself. "We just saved humanity" they said to each other. Until horror of horrors,they discover that Willard is still alive. Oh crap – there goes the whole fukkin' world." We tried.

  • swordfis

    "I like firing people"

  • vodkamuppet

    Masturbate in a coffin?

  • Schmegeg

    It also looks like Romney's other gun is ready to fire here.

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