OverwroughtDan Abrams, owner of the often-fun Mediaite, wants you to know right in his headline that he, Dan Abrams, questioned his writer, Noah Rothman, over what Abrams perceived as Rothman’s total-bullshit hack-job hit piece on Meghan McCain, wherein Rothman said McCain was a “bully” for saying Michelle Malkin was a syphilitic granny-raper and that Andrew Breitbart could spin on Satan’s dick. LIBEL! Malkin is not a granny raper! She will make love to your granny (who was asking for it). But that was before Meghan McCain proved Rothman’s point by referring constantly to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite,” and if being associated with Mediaite is not bullying Dan Abram, then what on earth would be? (Unless it is Mediaite that is being bullied by its association with Dan Abrams? There is only one way to find out, and that would be to contact him, and therefore we will never, ever know.)

WELL! Dan Abrams was so upset by this horrible Internettery that he logged on ON MEMORIAL DAY SUNDAY to write an incoherent, overwrought mess of a drunken (?), 18-paragraph soul-cry about McCain’s horrible ways and how he will never again question Rothman’s instincts in saying that any Republican who says “Hey can other Republicans stop being such horrible beasts?” is … oh, something, who cares, we read it over the weekend and it wasn’t interesting enough to link to then even as an emergency holiday weekend post filler. But Abrams’s is! Here, have a fuckload of paragraphs!

Then later in the day, Noah Rothman, Mediaite’s in-house conservative, took on McCain from a slightly different vantage point. “Meghan McCain Looks For Fight, Finds Many, Now Wants Sympathy” was the headline. Rothman took the position that “McCain has often made herself out to be a victim of close-minded conservatives who simply reject her for her less-than-dogmatic policy preferences. But McCain forgets that she has made a career of being a contrarian – her vehicle for getting air time consists almost entirely of starting fights with Republican pundits and lawmakers.” He went on to cite numerous examples of critiques McCain had offered of the biggest names in the right-wing blogosphere, and most of the Republican candidates for President. He also characterized her as a “bully.”

When I read Rothman’s piece, I actually said to him, “I don’t know that I agree with you, but really interesting piece.”

I didn’t completely agree primarily because I admired McCain’s willingness to challenge the powers that be on the far right. His characterization of her as a “bully” was, I thought, unfair, since presenting a moderate’s view of the Grand Old Party was nothing to discourage. Mediaite’s liberal writer and White House Correspondent, Tommy Christopher, who has defended McCain in the past, then took to Twitter to slam Rothman, calling his piece “garbage” and taunting Rothman in defense of McCain. I even jokingly tweeted: “Is it sadistic that I kind of love that @mediaite’s @tommyxtopher is taking on @mediaite’s @noah_c_rothman on twitter?”

It seems Dan Abrams might need a little primer on your better S/M techniques, which, so far as we know, do not include reading Tommy Christopher twit-fight Noah Rothman. OR MAYBE THEY DO!

So it was against this backdrop that McCain, who professes an appreciation of moderation, published her piece today in The Daily Beast, which begins by citing vile and sexist comments made about her. Then, the rhetorical kill:

“That’s only a small sampling, but you get the idea. You would think that by now, having gone through a presidential election with my father in 2008, I would be numb to this kind of name-calling. But I’m not. It hurts, it rattles me, it (understandably) concerns my mother, and it keeps me up at night. In a single day, Dan Abrams’ Mediaite found it necessary to post two full columns about me, questioning my career and suggesting I’m a problem for the Republican Party. By the way, each of the “columnists” behind these posts also vomited up a series of nasty Twitter posts following their columns. And they are supposed to be professionals.”

She goes on to say in a section highlighted on her story “It’s no secret that the blogosphere is more vicious on women than it is on men.”

Suddenly, she is lumping me and my site in with the disgusting and sexist attacks made against her, even though there was nothing remotely personal or sexist about the pieces on Mediaite (and of course she ignores The Jane Dough’s piece and Christopher’s defenses of her).

But she is also flat-out lying when she writes that they then “vomited up a series of nasty Twitter posts following their columns.” Below, I have attached all the tweets from Martel, Donovan, Rothman and Christopher about this as they occurred. While Donovan and Christopher celebrate and defend her, Rothman is simply defending his piece. The only remotely personal line was when [Frances] Martel questioned Rothman’s line, “Let me be clear, conservatives who underestimate her intelligence do not get it.”

McCain would also have a hard time explaining her claim that they questioned her career and suggested she is a “problem for the Republican party.” That is, however, a nice and easy way of avoiding the specific critiques and instead, as Rothman argued, allows her to play the victim card, again. Meghan McCain has every right to be upset about the way some treat her, but that does not entitle her to simply invent controversies.

Sorry we made you read all those paragraphs, but in our defense, we had to read even more of them. In any case, we would like to state for the record that we have absolutely nothing against Dan Abrams, and that our longstanding motto has once again been proved: everybody needs an editor, editors most of all.

[Dan Abrams’ Mediaite]

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  • nounverb911

    I forgot about Dan Abrams. Why does he matter?

  • SorosBot

    Whoa what's with that time stamp?

    • MissTaken

      Megs has a tramp stamp?

      • SorosBot

        Considering her age, it's probably more likely than not. I'd be interested in finding out if I didn't already have a great woman.

        • MissTaken

          Quit being so cute!

          • SorosBot

            Yeah, we don't want people telling us to get a room again.

          • fuflans

            get a room you tow two.

          • Get a room, and start tucking!

  • nounverb911

    Abrams pays himself by the word?

  • IncenseDebate

    He never even mentioned her boobies.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Shorter Dan Abrams to Meghan McCain: "Tits or GTFO."

  • I'm proud of that whippersnapper Megs. It's like she's learned to think for herself. Now if only she could learn to write for others.

    • “It’s no secret that the blogosphere is more vicious on women than it is on men.”

      Sigh. Didn't she go to Columbia or something?

  • BarackMyWorld

    On an only slightly related note, I'd like to thank Rachel Maddow for saving us from Dan Abrams' string of terrible MSNBC shows when she took his time slot.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Here, have a fuckload of paragraphs!"

    Not to put too fine a point on it, but is a fuckload more than or less than an assload?

    • memzilla

      Depends on if it is an English assload or a metric assload.

      • fartknocker

        Kind of like the airspeed velocity of a coconut laden swallow?

        (Booya – Monty Python reference!)

      • sewollef

        Mem: English and metric are synonymous these days, since us Brits weigh shit by the kilo and buy gas by the litre.

    • Chichikovovich

      As I learned it in school, it was 5 assloads to the shitload, and 3 shitloads to the fuckload. But those were Imperial shitloads – I believe American shitloads are smaller, because the system was modified by some fuckwit.

      • sewollef

        Metric-ly perfect explanation. Thank you.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Wow, Wonkette just exploded in my face. What the fuck does this mean?:

    Parse error: syntax error, unexpected ';' in /wk/web/wordpress_3/wp-content/themes/thesis_18b2/custom/custom_functions.php on line 172

    • BarackMyWorld


    • MissTaken

      Me too. I was scared and had to calm myself with a cup of green tea.

    • sewollef

      "custom_functions.php on line 172"

      I think that translates to, some fuckwit entered a shitload of bad code – on line 172.

      I'm a little hazy on the detail, but that should 'splain it good enough.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      It stayed with me for over half an hour. Though it did move to line 175. I see the rest of you were able to comment during my "time of exclusion," though. Hmmph.

  • Barb

    Wonkette went down on me. I hope they gave me their real phone number and not the number to some Chinese restaurant.

    • nounverb911

      One from column A and two from column B?

      • Barb

        Channeling my idiot ex husband, "Um, does that come with rice?"

        • Is there any other kind of ex husband?

    • Chichikovovich

      Now that's the difference between men and women right there. Your average Heywood Jablomie would be hoping it was the restaurant.

    • fartknocker

      Can you see if you get that McCain woman to go down on me? Mom or daughter is fine, I'm not picky.

  • Ruhe

    What's all this then?

  • i got that, too. i went away for awhile and then everything was fine.

  • Wait, what?

  • BarackMyWorld

    Shouldn't the paragraph that starts "But she is also flat-out lying…" be part of the quote? I HOPE SO.

  • noodlesalad

    Wonket Sys Error 420: Text to Blingee ratio exceeds 100 words.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Whoah — someone's taking Meghan McCain's Daily Beast articles seriously? That's edgier than a sack of marbles.

  • SorosBot

    Yay Wonkette's back up again! And Meghan, you're still my favorite Republican; you're just in the wrong party. Come join us on the light side!

    • MissTaken

      I thought maybe our Wonkett got it's face eaten by a naked man on the freeway. Seems to be going around recently.

      • SorosBot

        The zombie apocalypse is upon us! At least we're both in major cities, where the big office buildings are much safer and easier to defend than rural farms and such.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Our Wonkett was probably eyeing a particularly dapper Penquin and got distracted.

  • Goonemeritus

    “But McCain forgets that she has made a career of being a contrarian – her vehicle for getting air time consists almost entirely of starting fights with Republican pundits and lawmakers.”

    You can love Meg’s or hate her but it is totally unfair to characterize what she does as a career

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Whew. I was worried, based on the parse error, I'd be missing my T_variable ALL day.

    • Billmatic

      I'm a big fan of Meaghan's T_variables.

      • Generation[redacted]

        I'm a bigger fan of her OO constructs

  • freakishlywrong


  • Callyson

    Jesus, I need one of Glenn Beck's chalkboard illustrations to keep track of all this craziness…

  • Beowoof

    There were always a couple of reasons to like Meghan, but getting past those, there may be some substance there.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      However, some of her leading policies might need tweekin'.

      • Beowoof

        Well then, I am sure we could find someone to help with that. I know I would volunteer.

  • MissTaken

    and that Andrew Breitbart could spin on Satan’s dick

    It's a known fact that Satan's Dick is covered in spikes thus making spinning on it impossible. I cannot believe that Megs would say such a blatantly libelous thing.

  • Holy shit, they might even say a swear.

    If the village were as harsh on everything else like they are when it's a media bun fight then the US America would be better served.

  • LettucePrey

    Dan obviously has a thing for blond bimbo airheads. Years ago he hooked up with that horrible Law & Order actress–y'know, the miscast ADA with big fake eyelashes. You could drive a truck through the phrases when she delivered a line. She actually made me stop watching my beloved L&O. For this, I cannot forgive.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      She didn't suck too badly in Angel but the whole thing in L&O where she asks if she's being fired because she's a lesbian was incredibly lame.

      • SorosBot

        It just sucks that, thanks to Law and Order, Kate just disappeared from Angel after season 2, without the show ever explaining why Angel was able to enter her apartment without an invitation and save her from her suicide attempt (my guess is that, like Buffy in Prophecy Girl, she was technically dead for a bit).

        And I've never seen Law and Order, but liked her in Angel.

        • fuflans

          oh THAT chick. yeah i liked that character too.

          good guess.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Of course my favorite L&O ADAs are Jill Hennessy and Angie Harmon, what can I say, I have a thing for brunettes, plus Jill Hennessy has an identical twin sister. How hot is that? And yes, I know Angie Harmon is a Republican, but she's hot and has a sexy voice.

      Strangely enough I do like the blonde ADAs on L&O SUV but can't stand watching the show because listening to Mariska Hargitay's voice for any period of time or watching her attempt to "act", which seems to consist entirely of her adopting an expression of someone who is extremely and painfully constipated, is almost physically painful. Not even the rest of the stellar cast of L&O SUV can make up for Mariska Hargitay, which is a pity because of all of the shows in the L&O franchise SUV's has the best cast. they're really quite outstanding. You have the brilliantly mordant Richard Belzer paired with the cynical yet caring Ice-T. The always excellent Christopher Meloni (who has great comedic chops as well, check out his appearance as Sven the desk clerk in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or as an inbred hillbilly in Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay), the underrated Dann Florek, the absolutely fabulous B.D. Wong (Damnit! Why doesn't B.D. Wong get more TV work?) and his fellow Broadway alum, J.K. Simmons, who is not only excellent as Emil Skoda but was also fabulous in the 1992 revival of Guys and Dolls and was born, born I tell you, to play J. Jonah Jameson in the Spider-man movies ("Guy named Otto Octavius winds up with eight limbs. Four mechanical arms welded right onto his body. What are the odds?"). Oh yeah, and Tamara Tunie as the incredibly hot medical examiner.

  • Oh, that Dan Abrams. I remember when he was in the News-Van-Chasing-Ambulance business.

  • Mahousu

    So Mediaite is a high school, basically? And Meghan is a student at their arch-rival Daily Beast?

  • DaSandman

    Ole One Nut's a little cranky, eh?

  • I have to say, there's plenty to criticize about Meghan McCain (the reflexive "bothsidesdoit-isms", the fact that she "broke into" the commentary game thanks to all those fun neoptism adventures, and no political acumen of her own, etc.) but her recent comments about the late Andrew "Black people are the real racists, for being black" Breitbart and Michelle "Put all Arabs in Concentration Camps" Malkin being a tad extreme and thus bad for the Republican party? Probably doesn't belong on that list, even if it made Michele Malkin and Andrew Breitbart's Ghost mad for all the reasons that people telling the truth in politics often does.

  • mavenmaven

    Wow, an insider journalist thing on wonkette. Who are all these people, and more importantly, which of them are we supposed to make fun of?

  • But she is also flat-out lying when she writes that they then “vomited up a series of nasty Twitter posts following their columns.”

    Well, in the literal sense of the word, yes, you type out Twitter posts, you do not literally vomit them up. That would just be weird. Fucking vivid writing, how does it work?

  • I think Dan has been going to a voice coach. I saw him on TV the other day and he sounded like a grown-up.

  • carlgt1

    Meg's tits have done more good for America than any teabagger (blogger or otherwise)…..

  • fuflans

    it's stories like these that keep me going back to the bottle.

  • You have no idea how many conservatives cream their pants at just the hint of the possibility of a Meghan-Malkin catfight.

  • When did "bully" start meaning "Anyone who doesn't like me and says so" and stop meaning "Anyone who doesn't like me and has the upper body strength to force my head into a toilet bowl"?

    • glamourdammerung

      When did "bully" start meaning "Anyone who doesn't like me and says so" and stop meaning "Anyone who doesn't like me and has the upper body strength to force my head into a toilet bowl"?

      Around the same time Saint Palin of Victimhood and the rest of the Republicans insisted that "Freedom of Speech" meant pretty much the same thing you described.

  • glamourdammerung

    I really am starting to think that between the chips on their shoulders and just being really, really stupid, that Republicans simply can not help picking fights with people more capable than they are. Bless their hearts.

  • ttommyunger

    Dan Abrams I know of. He is a failed TV talking head. This Noah fuckwit, notsomuch.

  • rocktonsam

    biggest pussy ever

  • TribecaMike

    It wouldn't surprise me at all if Ms. McCain was actually more right wing than Mr. Abrams, but it would surprise me if I gave a good goddamn about either of those phony balonies.

    But it would explain why Protestant Jesus created ECTs, since after reading this I could use one to wipe this mess from my memory.

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