as foretold in revelation

Brain-Eating Space Virus Roger Ailes Turns on Itself

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STARE HARDER.

Media Matters just flagged this bizarre statement it found in the transcript of an April speech that Ailes gave at the UNC School of Journalism: “We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity.” That’s it! Just that one, according to Roger Ailes, who may or may not be losing functioning in his frontal lobe. Or is there another explanation?

Here’s the full part about Hannity:

Well, first, I separate out news from programming. If you’re talking about programming, we noticed that all the talk shows on the other networks basically had progressive or liberal talk show hosts. We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity. Quite open about it, that’s what he is, that’s what he does, that’s his framework, that’s where he comes from. Others tend to be libertarians or populists or you can’t really tell.

Right. And then it gets weird.

We actually believe in freedom of speech and we have many, many liberals on FOX News. Geraldine Ferraro, for instance, who became a good friend of mine, passed away recently, was there for 10 years. We have a man running for president, Evan Bayh of Indiana. We have Sarah Palin and we have other people, Huckabee and so on.

Either the speech transcriber has brain rot or Roger Ailes does, because we just read that Evan Bayh is running for president and Sarah Palin is a liberal commentator. [UNC School of Journalism via Media Matters]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Boojum

    Roger Ailes has mad space cow disease.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      A common affliction, among mad space cows like Roger Ailes.

  • Baconzgood

    Cut his mike.

  • Come here a minute

    Ailes is clearly talking about diversity — you have your conservatives, then your ladies, then your crazy preacher types. Very diverse.

  • edgydrifter

    Roger Ailes would classify Pol Pot as a "moderate centrist," because the self-declared Maoism and brutal authoritarianism cancel each other out.

    • Fare la Volpe

      Balance! How very Buddhist.

      • Tundra Grifter

        And Mr. Miyagi.

        • Angry_Marmot

          Battery cables on; battery cables off.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Wow, those are the most excellent planets in his orbit!

  • Baconzgood

    "We actually believe in freedom of speech and we have many, many liberals on FOX News", he went on to say "do you buy that?"

  • Fare la Volpe

    "Fox News is very diverse: We have a black."

    • Schmannnity

      A black named Juan? I going with less than 100%.

      • Baconzgood

        And he worked at NPR. It's a trifecta.

      • Tundra Grifter

        They got Juan, all right.

        They got juan crazy fucker after another.

        Funny thing is, on FoxPAC Duh Gov'Nuh might be a liberal.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      And a brown: Geraldo (who may be crazier than all of them).

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    In what fucking bizzaro world is O'Reilly a populist?

    • Baconzgood

      What color is the sky in your world Roger?

    • Ruhe

      All of them Katie?

  • CrunchyKnee

    Shit, In a country where President Obama is considered a "socialist" by these types, I'm sure Palin seems a bit "liberal."

    • usuhname

      right wing must be franco or hitler

  • Barb

    Freedom of speech= Murdoch is free to tap your phones and listen to what speech you are making.

    • Boojum

      He be making free wit' yo speech.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I can't remember whether Sarah Palin qualifies as a liberal because she called Glenn Beck and idiot, or Glen Beck qualifies as a liberal because he called Sarah Palin an idiot.

    • Boojum

      AOTK?

  • OldWhiteLies

    Palin is a LIBERAL!?

    I didn't think you could say stuff like that without the universe imploding.

    • Wile E. Barbote

      So, since, according to well known conservative Jonah Goldberg, Hitler was a Nazi and the Nazis were all liberals and according to Roger Ailes Sarah Palin is a liberal does this mean that Sarah Palin is a Nazi?

      • Boojum

        Derp?

  • WhatTheHeck

    HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa THE GUY’S NUTS HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.
    HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa FOX NEWS IS FOR NUTS HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I guess that's why he sees Obamer as a communist. In Ailes' universe, everything dangles to the right.

    BTW, the only thing Evan Bayhem is liebrul for is lining his pockets with health insurance monies.

  • HempDogbane

    All of these people will now have photoshopped cocks in their mouth.

    • Wile E. Barbote

      Well when they do I hope the photoshopped cocks in their mouths are more attractive than the disease ridden ones they actually have there.

    • Angry_Marmot

      Not sure Roger can find his.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com Ann_ObeyMe_Money

      Um … they're not photoshopped.

  • JustPixelz

    Obviously even Ailes can't stand to watch Fux News or listen to Sarah Palin's screeching voice.

  • Baconzgood

    I'm starting to suspect that Roger is a compulsive liar. I mean that's a lie so easily disproven that there is no other explanation for him saying that.

    • WhatTheHeck

      He’s helprd polarize the politics of the U.S. so much, he can now be classed as bi-polar.

      • Boojum

        So, he's teh ghey?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

       

  • smashedinhat

    There he goes, creating his own reality again. This is why people wonder how a thermos knows to keep things cool or hot.

    • Ruhe

      How do it know?

      • WhatTheHeck

        nobody knows the temperature I’ve seen.

      • Boojum

        No one can 'splain it.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Ailes, himself, is just a standard middle-of-the-road moderate, of course.

  • gullywompr

    You can't explain it.

    • AncienReggie

      Gas goes in, gas goes out.

  • OneYieldRegular

    It wouldn't surprise me at all if the FOX people hated Sarah Palin more than people on the left do.

    • Ruhe

      I can certainly imagine a lot of FOX viewers, the male ones, waking up one morning and thinking "she's just not doing it for me anymore. Ailes…bring me new conservative boobies…now!"

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Too bad he doesn't separate news from sensationalist right-wing bullshit.

  • veritass

    To be fair, you'd go insane too if you had to listen to all those hours of cell phone conversations without being able to say anything.

  • Ruhe

    When you say "losing functioning in his frontal lobe" you are referring to the lobe-like paunch hanging over his belt, right? Aristotle and other ancient philosophers suspected that human rationality was as much a function of the gut as the brain so I suppose Ailes might have been under the influence of a bad bit of beef when he characterized his network's programming in that way. Although I do think it's revealing that by singling out Hannity the FOX CEO may be admitting that in his own mind "conservative" is synonymous with "mouth breathing jack-ass".

    • Boojum

      Apparently they were right. The gut has its own CNS and produces serotonin and dopamine. So, gut check.

  • http://wonkette.com ChilLysol

    Does Fox News have Liberals? Maybe (they are moderates to me). Are they allowed to voice their opinions? Fuck no.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Plenty of liberals on the janitorial staff, es verdad Miguel?

      Mas tambien in the mail room.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    They have one conservative" on FOX like i had "one beer" last night.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Wheras your beer is full of hops, that “conservative” is full of shit.

    • extreme_left

      .. like I only looked at that 22 years olds magnificent rack "once" last night.

  • GorzoTheMighty

    "Roger Ailes, who may or may not be losing functioning in his frontal lobe. Or is there another explanation?" Roger chose the frontal lobotomy, I went with the bottle in front of me.

  • Schmannnity

    One conservative and 157 Nazis.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sure, FOX employs the full spectrum of commentators — it's just that all those other networks are just over the cliff with their radical dashiki-wearing afro-sporting pot-smoking hippies — like Joe Scarborough.

  • Baconzgood

    If he sais he employes over 2 dozen liberals I'd hate to see what his version of a conservative is. I mean can one of his "conservative" come out in the daylight with out turning to ash? Do we need to keep garlic and crucifixes away from them?

  • Baconzgood

    I guess they would be considered liberal…by North Carolina standards.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Give him a break – the machine was all out of Diet Coke.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Huckabee's not a Conservative, he's a bass-playing cheeseburger.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I can't tell if Sarah Palin is a Libertarian, a Populist, or a Syphlitic Meth-head.

    HAHA. Just kidding.

    • Wile E. Barbote

      Here's an easy way to tell a Libertarian apart from a syphilitic meth-head: check their copy of Atlas Shrugged. The syphilitic meth-heads will have hollowed theirs out to use it as a stash box, the Libertarians will actually have read the fucking thing, and a whole bunch of the pages will be stuck together.

    • Boojum

      I know this one! AOTK!

  • Lucidamente1

    You know what he said about Shep Smith?

  • Goonemeritus

    Fox News has the full range of political thought represented as long as you define political thought as far right to light bulb licking bat shit crazy right.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "… we just read that Evan Bayh is running for president and Sarah Palin is a liberal commentator."

    Think of it this way: you read it on Fox. It's much less disorienting that way.

  • Isyaignert

    Fux News = rich people paying rich people to tell the middle class to blame the poor people

  • Billmatic

    I gamed Ella, the bitch caught a Fitz like Gerald-
    -ine Ferraro, who's full of sorrow
    Cause the ho didn't win but the sun will still come out tomorrow
    And shine shine shine like gold mine

    It's rap reference Friday, everyone!

  • Generation[redacted]

    The Tea Party shift is complete when Roger Ailes turns to his employees and says, "You're all liberals!"

  • lochnessmonster

    Maybe he has that OldTimers disease?

  • tihond

    We've got both types of commentators, country and western.

    • Angry_Marmot

      I canz throw beer bottle?

  • Wile E. Barbote

    Can hemophilia lead to brain damage?

    • freddymcmurray

      Or can brain damage lead to hemophilia?

  • Angry_Marmot

    Huntington's chorea? Roger ain't danced since August '74.

  • Callyson

    Ailes said he employs 24 "liberals"

    Sure he does…they're the janitors and admins. Probably underpaid, also, too.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Out of 51,000 NewsCorp employees? Sounds about right.

      Don't worry. They'll weed them out soon enough.

  • mcrummett

    Oo, wait'll Sister Sarah hears Ailes called her a liberal! Darn you, Lamestream Media!

    • iburl

      She is a woman, only men with raping penii can really be considered "conservative".

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Radio

    I facebook "liked" this story based solely on the title, and still have not read it. I'll be home from work soon, I have a feeling it's gonna be worth the wait. Stay cool, Wonkette.

  • sbj1964

    Rodger Ailes is loosing control of his frontal lobe? He is now GOP qualified to lead the brain dead Zombies of hatred.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ailes: "We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity. All the rest are Vogons."

    • radio-of-owls

      That explains the upcoming show called Bill O'Reilly's Poetry Hour.

      • C_R_Eature

        " …Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon send Jesse Watters to harass you
        See if I don't. "

        Don't listen to it. Just don't

    • HateMachine

      At least they never employed Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings.

  • Beowoof

    If Santa were to turn evil, that picture represents my imagination.

    • chascates

      Elmer Fudd after he got out of prison.

  • iburl

    Alzheimers is a helluva drug.

  • pinkocommi

    It is true that Faux News has only one true conservative commentator. The rest are members of the Bat Shit Crazy Party.

  • Wile E. Barbote

    Fox News employs many liberals. They employ them as sacrifices to Yog-Sothoth and Shub-Niggurath.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    "Others tend to be libertarians or populists or you can’t really tell." Roger, maybe YOU can't …

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Radio

    What an asshole! But at least he's still got his beauty.

  • C_R_Eature

    You know Who Else employed just one Liberal in their very own Propaganda organization?

    • chascates

      The Christian Church employing Jesus?

  • chascates

    Doesn't sound very 'fair and balanced' to me. Get rid of that commie O'Reilly first off.

  • extreme_left

    Jabba the Hutt never died!

  • fitley

    I think of Fox News not as a village but more of a leper colony. Sarah Palin is the colony idiot.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    You left out the part of him that is a total douche. Other than that….

  • ttommyunger

    Sedentary, over 50, overweight, so overdue for that Coronary… WTF?

  • carlgt1

    I'm interested in the audience reaction to this various Ailes speeches, especially at journalism schools. Roger should be booed continuously and have shoes thrown at him about 10 times per speech (at least). But I guess at UNC the kids are probably angling for jobs from him with Faux News?

  • napadoc

    Cut Ailes some slack. Palin did attend five liberal arts colleges before she graduated.

  • lulzmonger

    Sarah Palin is very liberal with monetizing herself.