AS FORETOLD IN REVELATION  4:31 pm May 25, 2012

Brain-Eating Space Virus Roger Ailes Turns on Itself

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

STARE HARDER.

Media Matters just flagged this bizarre statement it found in the transcript of an April speech that Ailes gave at the UNC School of Journalism: “We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity.” That’s it! Just that one, according to Roger Ailes, who may or may not be losing functioning in his frontal lobe. Or is there another explanation?

Here’s the full part about Hannity:

Well, first, I separate out news from programming. If you’re talking about programming, we noticed that all the talk shows on the other networks basically had progressive or liberal talk show hosts. We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity. Quite open about it, that’s what he is, that’s what he does, that’s his framework, that’s where he comes from. Others tend to be libertarians or populists or you can’t really tell.

Right. And then it gets weird.

We actually believe in freedom of speech and we have many, many liberals on FOX News. Geraldine Ferraro, for instance, who became a good friend of mine, passed away recently, was there for 10 years. We have a man running for president, Evan Bayh of Indiana. We have Sarah Palin and we have other people, Huckabee and so on.

Either the speech transcriber has brain rot or Roger Ailes does, because we just read that Evan Bayh is running for president and Sarah Palin is a liberal commentator. [UNC School of Journalism via Media Matters]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 106 comments }

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Roger Ailes has mad space cow disease.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 25, 2012 at 10:33 pm

A common affliction, among mad space cows like Roger Ailes.

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Cut his mike.

Come here a minute May 25, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Ailes is clearly talking about diversity — you have your conservatives, then your ladies, then your crazy preacher types. Very diverse.

edgydrifter May 25, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Roger Ailes would classify Pol Pot as a "moderate centrist," because the self-declared Maoism and brutal authoritarianism cancel each other out.

Fare la Volpe May 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Balance! How very Buddhist.

Tundra Grifter May 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm

And Mr. Miyagi.

Angry_Marmot May 25, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Battery cables on; battery cables off.

Jus_Wonderin May 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Wow, those are the most excellent planets in his orbit!

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

"We actually believe in freedom of speech and we have many, many liberals on FOX News", he went on to say "do you buy that?"

Fare la Volpe May 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm

"Fox News is very diverse: We have a black."

Schmannnity May 25, 2012 at 4:53 pm

A black named Juan? I going with less than 100%.

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:56 pm

And he worked at NPR. It's a trifecta.

Tundra Grifter May 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm

They got Juan, all right.

They got juan crazy fucker after another.

Funny thing is, on FoxPAC Duh Gov'Nuh might be a liberal.

Texan_Bulldog May 25, 2012 at 4:54 pm

And a brown: Geraldo (who may be crazier than all of them).

smokefilledroommate May 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm

In what fucking bizzaro world is O'Reilly a populist?

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:41 pm

What color is the sky in your world Roger?

Ruhe May 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm

All of them Katie?

CrunchyKnee May 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Shit, In a country where President Obama is considered a "socialist" by these types, I'm sure Palin seems a bit "liberal."

usuhname May 27, 2012 at 3:32 am

right wing must be franco or hitler

Barb May 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Freedom of speech= Murdoch is free to tap your phones and listen to what speech you are making.

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:46 pm

He be making free wit' yo speech.

Lascauxcaveman May 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I can't remember whether Sarah Palin qualifies as a liberal because she called Glenn Beck and idiot, or Glen Beck qualifies as a liberal because he called Sarah Palin an idiot.

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:46 pm

AOTK?

OldWhiteLies May 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Palin is a LIBERAL!?

I didn't think you could say stuff like that without the universe imploding.

Wile E. Barbote May 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

So, since, according to well known conservative Jonah Goldberg, Hitler was a Nazi and the Nazis were all liberals and according to Roger Ailes Sarah Palin is a liberal does this mean that Sarah Palin is a Nazi?

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Derp?

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa THE GUY’S NUTS HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa FOX NEWS IS FOR NUTS HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.

ManchuCandidate May 25, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I guess that's why he sees Obamer as a communist. In Ailes' universe, everything dangles to the right.

BTW, the only thing Evan Bayhem is liebrul for is lining his pockets with health insurance monies.

HempDogbane May 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

All of these people will now have photoshopped cocks in their mouth.

Wile E. Barbote May 25, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Well when they do I hope the photoshopped cocks in their mouths are more attractive than the disease ridden ones they actually have there.

Angry_Marmot May 25, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Not sure Roger can find his.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 25, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Um … they're not photoshopped.

JustPixelz May 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Obviously even Ailes can't stand to watch Fux News or listen to Sarah Palin's screeching voice.

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I'm starting to suspect that Roger is a compulsive liar. I mean that's a lie so easily disproven that there is no other explanation for him saying that.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2012 at 4:59 pm

He’s helprd polarize the politics of the U.S. so much, he can now be classed as bi-polar.

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:48 pm

So, he's teh ghey?

weejee May 25, 2012 at 5:09 pm

 

smashedinhat May 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm

There he goes, creating his own reality again. This is why people wonder how a thermos knows to keep things cool or hot.

Ruhe May 25, 2012 at 4:45 pm

How do it know?

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm

nobody knows the temperature I’ve seen.

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:49 pm

No one can 'splain it.

Lascauxcaveman May 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Ailes, himself, is just a standard middle-of-the-road moderate, of course.

gullywompr May 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm

You can't explain it.

AncienReggie May 25, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Gas goes in, gas goes out.

OneYieldRegular May 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm

It wouldn't surprise me at all if the FOX people hated Sarah Palin more than people on the left do.

Ruhe May 25, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I can certainly imagine a lot of FOX viewers, the male ones, waking up one morning and thinking "she's just not doing it for me anymore. Ailes…bring me new conservative boobies…now!"

smokefilledroommate May 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Too bad he doesn't separate news from sensationalist right-wing bullshit.

veritass May 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

To be fair, you'd go insane too if you had to listen to all those hours of cell phone conversations without being able to say anything.

Ruhe May 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

When you say "losing functioning in his frontal lobe" you are referring to the lobe-like paunch hanging over his belt, right? Aristotle and other ancient philosophers suspected that human rationality was as much a function of the gut as the brain so I suppose Ailes might have been under the influence of a bad bit of beef when he characterized his network's programming in that way. Although I do think it's revealing that by singling out Hannity the FOX CEO may be admitting that in his own mind "conservative" is synonymous with "mouth breathing jack-ass".

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Apparently they were right. The gut has its own CNS and produces serotonin and dopamine. So, gut check.

ChilLysol May 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Does Fox News have Liberals? Maybe (they are moderates to me). Are they allowed to voice their opinions? Fuck no.

Lascauxcaveman May 25, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Plenty of liberals on the janitorial staff, es verdad Miguel?

Mas tambien in the mail room.

SudsMcKenzie May 25, 2012 at 4:44 pm

They have one conservative" on FOX like i had "one beer" last night.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Wheras your beer is full of hops, that “conservative” is full of shit.

extreme_left May 25, 2012 at 7:56 pm

.. like I only looked at that 22 years olds magnificent rack "once" last night.

GorzoTheMighty May 25, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"Roger Ailes, who may or may not be losing functioning in his frontal lobe. Or is there another explanation?" Roger chose the frontal lobotomy, I went with the bottle in front of me.

Schmannnity May 25, 2012 at 4:51 pm

One conservative and 157 Nazis.

SayItWithWookies May 25, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Sure, FOX employs the full spectrum of commentators — it's just that all those other networks are just over the cliff with their radical dashiki-wearing afro-sporting pot-smoking hippies — like Joe Scarborough.

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:53 pm

If he sais he employes over 2 dozen liberals I'd hate to see what his version of a conservative is. I mean can one of his "conservative" come out in the daylight with out turning to ash? Do we need to keep garlic and crucifixes away from them?

Baconzgood May 25, 2012 at 4:57 pm

I guess they would be considered liberal…by North Carolina standards.

Sharkey May 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Give him a break – the machine was all out of Diet Coke.

Mittens Howell, III May 25, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Huckabee's not a Conservative, he's a bass-playing cheeseburger.

Mittens Howell, III May 25, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I can't tell if Sarah Palin is a Libertarian, a Populist, or a Syphlitic Meth-head.

HAHA. Just kidding.

Wile E. Barbote May 25, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Here's an easy way to tell a Libertarian apart from a syphilitic meth-head: check their copy of Atlas Shrugged. The syphilitic meth-heads will have hollowed theirs out to use it as a stash box, the Libertarians will actually have read the fucking thing, and a whole bunch of the pages will be stuck together.

Boojum May 25, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I know this one! AOTK!

Lucidamente1 May 25, 2012 at 5:10 pm

You know what he said about Shep Smith?

Goonemeritus May 25, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Fox News has the full range of political thought represented as long as you define political thought as far right to light bulb licking bat shit crazy right.

HogeyeGrex May 25, 2012 at 6:06 pm

Oh, we got both kinds. We got country *and* western.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 25, 2012 at 5:12 pm

"… we just read that Evan Bayh is running for president and Sarah Palin is a liberal commentator."

Think of it this way: you read it on Fox. It's much less disorienting that way.

Isyaignert May 25, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Fux News = rich people paying rich people to tell the middle class to blame the poor people

Billmatic May 25, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I gamed Ella, the bitch caught a Fitz like Gerald-
-ine Ferraro, who's full of sorrow
Cause the ho didn't win but the sun will still come out tomorrow
And shine shine shine like gold mine

It's rap reference Friday, everyone!

Generation[redacted] May 25, 2012 at 5:16 pm

The Tea Party shift is complete when Roger Ailes turns to his employees and says, "You're all liberals!"

lochnessmonster May 25, 2012 at 5:16 pm

Maybe he has that OldTimers disease?

tihond May 25, 2012 at 5:25 pm

We've got both types of commentators, country and western.

Angry_Marmot May 25, 2012 at 5:46 pm

I canz throw beer bottle?

Wile E. Barbote May 25, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Can hemophilia lead to brain damage?

freddymcmurray May 27, 2012 at 4:10 am

Or can brain damage lead to hemophilia?

Angry_Marmot May 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Huntington's chorea? Roger ain't danced since August '74.

Callyson May 25, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Ailes said he employs 24 "liberals"

Sure he does…they're the janitors and admins. Probably underpaid, also, too.

HogeyeGrex May 25, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Out of 51,000 NewsCorp employees? Sounds about right.

Don't worry. They'll weed them out soon enough.

mcrummett May 25, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Oo, wait'll Sister Sarah hears Ailes called her a liberal! Darn you, Lamestream Media!

iburl May 25, 2012 at 6:51 pm

She is a woman, only men with raping penii can really be considered "conservative".

Designer_Radio May 25, 2012 at 5:56 pm

I facebook "liked" this story based solely on the title, and still have not read it. I'll be home from work soon, I have a feeling it's gonna be worth the wait. Stay cool, Wonkette.

sbj1964 May 25, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Rodger Ailes is loosing control of his frontal lobe? He is now GOP qualified to lead the brain dead Zombies of hatred.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Ailes: "We have one conservative on FOX News, Sean Hannity. All the rest are Vogons."

radio-of-owls May 25, 2012 at 7:02 pm

That explains the upcoming show called Bill O'Reilly's Poetry Hour.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 7:11 pm

" …Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon send Jesse Watters to harass you
See if I don't. "

Don't listen to it. Just don't

HateMachine May 25, 2012 at 9:39 pm

At least they never employed Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings.

Beowoof May 25, 2012 at 6:34 pm

If Santa were to turn evil, that picture represents my imagination.

chascates May 25, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Elmer Fudd after he got out of prison.

iburl May 25, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Alzheimers is a helluva drug.

pinkocommi May 25, 2012 at 6:56 pm

It is true that Faux News has only one true conservative commentator. The rest are members of the Bat Shit Crazy Party.

Wile E. Barbote May 25, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Fox News employs many liberals. They employ them as sacrifices to Yog-Sothoth and Shub-Niggurath.

Jukesgrrl May 25, 2012 at 7:03 pm

"Others tend to be libertarians or populists or you can’t really tell." Roger, maybe YOU can't …

Designer_Radio May 25, 2012 at 7:07 pm

What an asshole! But at least he's still got his beauty.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 7:13 pm

You know Who Else employed just one Liberal in their very own Propaganda organization?

chascates May 25, 2012 at 7:35 pm

The Christian Church employing Jesus?

chascates May 25, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Doesn't sound very 'fair and balanced' to me. Get rid of that commie O'Reilly first off.

extreme_left May 25, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Jabba the Hutt never died!

fitley May 25, 2012 at 8:36 pm

I think of Fox News not as a village but more of a leper colony. Sarah Palin is the colony idiot.

Walkinwiddaking May 26, 2012 at 6:57 pm

You left out the part of him that is a total douche. Other than that….

ttommyunger May 26, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Sedentary, over 50, overweight, so overdue for that Coronary… WTF?

carlgt1 May 28, 2012 at 10:54 am

I'm interested in the audience reaction to this various Ailes speeches, especially at journalism schools. Roger should be booed continuously and have shoes thrown at him about 10 times per speech (at least). But I guess at UNC the kids are probably angling for jobs from him with Faux News?

napadoc May 28, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Cut Ailes some slack. Palin did attend five liberal arts colleges before she graduated.

lulzmonger May 29, 2012 at 7:07 am

Sarah Palin is very liberal with monetizing herself.

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