Not at all a terrifying young fascistThe last time we said ‘hey’ to young Jesse Kelly, he was running for Miss Teen USA, and it went a little something like this: Healthcare, right or privilege?

My belief system is this. The health care for anybody but especially for our nation. The highest quality and lowest cost can only be delivered without the government. What I believe is that all things we drive, we do, health care, anything, is a privilege to some extent. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, those are inalienable rights endowed by your creator. If you’re claiming a right, if you’re going to say anything’s a right, if you’re going to say you have a right to a cell phone, then who has the responsibility to pay for it? That’s what I believe.

Good times! But now, faced with outrageously “out-of-bounds” questions about ALIPAC, who are these nice neo-Nazis and white supremacists who keep endorsing him for Gabby Giffords’s old seat, he has learned a thing or two about how to stay on script, and stay on script, and stay on script. That was TWO YEARS AGO (and last week). And palling around with terrorists only counts when it is Bill Ayers and black guys. Anyway, have some smirking robot.

Jesse Kelly, why do you keep accepting endorsements from neo-Nazis and white supremacists?

We feel like we have heard this somewhere before? But honestly, it’s the only way a true hero should respond when faced with The Enemy that is a free and lamestream press.

[KGUN9, via DailyKos]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • nounverb911

    ALI PAC that's Muslin, right?

  • The closed captioning is a hoot!. So are the three witches from MacBeth in the background

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I can't figure out why that black woman is laughing that a white supremacist organization endorsed her candidate. I guess even the black people are crazy in AZ.

    • ingloriousbytch

      The Black Crusaders need to have a chat with her.

      • christianmaxwell

        Hahaha. That episode was just on last week. Very nice. On a more serious note, there are 1-2% of black voters that have had a big cup of the Republican Kool-Aid and gone back for seconds: Michael Steele, Clarence Thomas, and apparently the woman in this video.

    • YasserArraFeck

      You see, skin color is, after all, only skin deep. AZ KRAZY, on the other hand, goes right down to the bone (in other words, it's easier to step out of your skin than it is to make a batshit crazy Arizoner sane)

    • swordfis

      maybe she's the only one that gets it.

  • OkieDokieDog

    Is he Sharron Angle's son?

    Nevar furgit!! Sharron Angle: Press should 'ask the questions we want to answer'

    • Generation[redacted]

      I don't know that they are white supremacists. Some of them look Asian to me.

  • You can't spell Arizona without Nazi.

    • rickmaci


    • swordfis

      Is Jesse representing [Arizona] [or a Nazi]?

  • C_R_Eature

    "Pay no attention to the Nazis behind the curtain!"

  • ChernobylSoup

    NPR interviewed one of his supporters this morning. By the sound of her voice I reckon she looked a lot like the heavy-set North Carolina woman that graced Wonkette earlier today. She really hated that Gabby got shot and all, but gosh, Giffords shoulda resigned from Congress just as soon as the bullet went in her head.

    Nice people this Kelly fella pals around with.

    • YasserArraFeck

      but gosh, Giffords shoulda resigned from Congress just as soon as the bullet went in her head

      Some folks jus' won't take a hint

  • nounverb911

    "Some of my best friends are Neo-Nazis."

  • edgydrifter

    Jesse Kelly's All-American Energy Independence Plan: MORE WHITE POWER.

    • It's apparently a renewable resource.

      • Stupidity and inflated sense of importance/self worth/entitlement is an infinite resource.

    • MittsHairHelmet


  • MittsHairHelmet

    That face has "punch me" written all over it.

    • sewollef

      Gotta put my glasses back on, I can only read C-U-N-T across his forehead. Funny that.

    • jjdaddyo

      That, and "You will get me out of the closet when you pry it from my cold, dead, pink tie wearing fingers."

  • FNMA

    So his campaign is focused on what now?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    What's the reboot procedure on this particular model of defective robot? A punch in the throat?

    • prommie

      Use the heel of your shoe to depress the "Reboot" button built into the adam's apple.

    • Sounds good. Let's try it?

  • Baconzgood

    "health care, anything, is a privilege to some extent. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, those are inalienable rights endowed by your creator"

    Fucking Christ Parachuting into a pond. Do thses douche bags realize how quickly they contradict themselves. I'm not joking, in the same fucking breath. HEALTHCARE NOT A RIGHT BUT LIFE IS! LIFE IT'S THE FIRST OF THE INALIENABLE RIGHTS. WE HAVE THE INALIENABLE RIGHT NOT TO FUCKING DIE THERE FORE HEALTH CARE IS A INALIENABLE RIGHT ASS HAT!!!!!!!

    • OldWhiteLies


      Nice hit – knocked it outta the park again!

      • Baconzgood.

        Damn, I got to say that twice in two days!

        • Baconzgood

          I love when you rub my pork belly.

    • Tell us how you really feel there, Baconz

    • You only have a right to life until you die. And it doesn't have to be a healthy or happy life.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Yeah, stick with the important questions like:
    Boxers or briefs?
    Ginger or Mary Ann?
    What’s your favorite Teenage Mutant Turtle?
    Is your dog a racist too?

    • OldWhiteLies


    • tessiee

      "What’s your favorite Teenage Mutant Turtle?"

      Well, we can rule out the three with Wop names right from the git-go.
      "Rafael" still isn't 100% Murkin, but at least the Rafaels in Arizona do a good job mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool, so I guess they're OK.

    • Don't ask, or don't tell?

    • Beowoof

      Well Mary Ann, the rest is just meaningless trivia.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        well duh.

  • widestanceromance

    Does my vacant stare and my inadequate head make my oversized torso look fat? Seriously, is this guy wearing shoulder pads or a mattress pad?

    • MrFizzy

      I think the body is normal but some tribesmen pre-shrunk his head. Evidently not much was lost in the process.

    • Beowoof

      The unusually small head size should be a warning sign that there isn't much room for gray matter in there. Not that it matters in batshit crazy Arizona.

  • The highest quality and lowest cost can only be delivered without the government.

    Oh yes! Because it's worked so well so far.

    • noodlesalad

      Evolution, government oversight, women's rights, it's like America gets a bad case of the stoopids every 70 years or so.

    • Beowoof

      Sure, look at air traffic control they have planes running into each other all the time.

  • SorosBot

    Sadly, the white supremacist endorsement may help in the fucked-up world of Arizona.

    • HippieEsq

      Next to Joe Arpaio, maybe it's the most important endorsement!

      • horsedreamer_1

        Rehnquist will have you know he was disenfranchising & marginalizing Messicans when OL JOE wad a two bit Dago on an East Coast constabulary force.

  • nounverb911

    Cassius Clay called, he wants his name back.

  • prommie

    Speaking of, guilt by association, wasn't it sheer genius for Karl Rove to have Bin Laden endorse Gore right before the election?

    • Fox n Fiends

      yah mean Kerry

  • LastGasp

    … if you’re going to say you have a right to a cell phone, then who has the responsibility to pay for it? That’s what I believe.

    That's an incredibly thought-provoking and erudite observation. Obviously, political theory is this man's strong suit.

    • YasserArraFeck

      Obviously, political theory is this man's strong suit.

      Better than the crappy suit he's wearing – looks like his big brother's

      • OhNoGuy

        Great color. Bird shit green. Looks perfect on him.

        • YasserArraFeck

          It's amazing what a good tailor can do with an SS uniform when he takes all the hardware off

  • Jesse Kelly, why do you keep accepting endorsements from neo-Nazis and white supremacists?

    Those labels are so 15 minutes ago. The new PC wingnut term is "American Exeptionalists".

  • MrFizzy

    Unfortunately, being a complete fucking stooge doesn't disqualify anyone from winning public office, particularly in Arizona.

    • FNMA

      In Arizona, being a fucking stooge gives you an advantage.

    • pdiddycornchips

      It appears to be a requirement, at least for Republicans. As does loving guns and hating brown people and all vajajay's regardless of color.

  • Lucidamente1

    "Now if you'll excuse me, I've got interviews to do with Peggy Noonan and Mark Halperin."


  • noodlesalad

    This guy clearly has the smarts, charisma, and the ability to think on his feet that America needs. Wait, he's not applying to be a special needs bathroom cleaner at McDonalds? Fuck this guy, then.

  • Schmannnity

    Saguaro you saying is no comment?

  • Lucidamente1

    Makes one long for the thoughtful, statesmanlike answers of Joe Miller.

  • Baconzgood

    I'm not watching this fuck head.

    • Barb

      Come sit next to me, Baconz. I'm not watching either.

  • UnholyMoses

    Let's be honest — this will probably help the guy get some votes.

    This is, after all, the state that didn't want an MLK holiday.

  • Oblios_Cap

    What I believe is that all things we drive, we do, health care, anything, is a privilege to some extent.

    But I do all of those things and more to accomplish my unalienable right to be happy.

    I guess what he was trying to say was that those things are only for the privileged.

  • sewollef

    I too listened to NPR early this morning, where they interviewed some teabagger harpie belonging to Kelly's gang, who actually blamed Gabrielle Giffords for not thinking about her constituents and resigning sooner.

    Blamed Gabrielle Giffords. On the media. Both my wife and I went, "WHAAAT THE FUCK!!!!"

    • ChernobylSoup

      Check this nerd out… he listens to NPR!

      • sewollef

        Gosh, thanks! :)

      • And has a wife!

        • From Canada City!

        • tessiee

          Her name is Incontinentia Buttocks.

          • C_R_Eature

            Wait until Biggus Dickus hears of this!

      • OldWhiteLies

        Yes but it most unfortunately is NOT the subversive vehicle for intelligence, compassion and thoughtful reporting it was back in my college days. More's the pity.

        • The commercials are pretty good, though.

      • NellCote71


  • TeaNuts

    Ok Arizona, please secede already. And take Texas with you! What a bunch of Dumblefucks.

    • fartknocker

      We Texans look to West and say "I'm glad I don't live in Arizona. That's one fucked up place." Also, the cool people of Austin like America. Place exempt us from succession.

      Thank you,

      • Texas used to be a true-blue Democratic state with the likes of Ann Richards and Molly Ivins. And I love Austin too much to let it go.

        • HistoriBarb

          Who does Barbara Jordan have to inspire around here to get a little respect?

  • Callyson

    Wow, and we think Mittens is a robot? He's got some serious competition for that label from this guy…

    • PubOption

      I thought this guy was more of a parrot.

  • Callyson

    Also, how hilarious is it that the reporter hails from a network called "KGUN9"?

  • iburl

    "You kin twist it all up and say "White Supremacist" and "Nazi" and all but people are free to take it however they want, or they can just go away, I mean, really, to simplify, yes, the bible." – Fat Stupid North Carolina Cunt

  • MissTaken

    I feel bad for New Mexico being stuck between Texas and Nazi Berlin like that.

    • JustPixelz

      "New Mexico" sounds kinda … you know, Mexican. Let's rename it "Barb's State". Also rename New Jersey just plain "joyzee".

  • Callyson

    "Our campaign is going to stay focused on lowering gas prices, creating jobs, and lowering taxes."

    Oh, so that means you'll work to put a stop to the warmongering over Iran (which is a key driver of the recent gas price increases)? You'll be unlike the 2010 Reeps who said they would focus like a laser on jobs, only to turn around and go after those sluts who want birth control? And I take it you'll stand against the idea that some of your Reeps have to tax the poors even more by imposing an income tax on them when they have too little income to tax and already pay up in payroll, sales, gas taxes and the like?

    Yeah, I don't believe him either…

  • SayItWithWookies

    Apparently that jackass who's claiming to be Dan Quayle's son is a stinkin' liar — this guy's got the real goods on the legacy of "Robin to George Bush's Batman."

    • tessiee

      "that jackass who's claiming to be Dan Quayle's son"

      I thought bush 43 was the offspring of the unholy union of Bush 41 and Dan Quayle.

  • comrad_darkness

    You know, the democrats we have are no great shakes, but the loon to sane ratio in the republican party is reaching speculative bubble proportions here. Is it possible that our 1% corporate masters are overreaching with finding the stupidest puppets they can?

    • Is it possible that our 1% corporate masters are overreaching

      As in heads they win, tails they still win?

      No, they're not overreaching.

      They need the repukes to act up as serious loonies just to provide our corporate-owned right-wing Dems with the cover that they need to keep their base voting for them. Even as those right-wing Dems screw their base on issue after issue.

    • That's an interesting point of view, comrad. In fact, I would like to subscribe to your newsletters.

  • SoBeach

    That reporter can officially, legitimately lead his story with "Candidate Repeatedly Refuses to Disavow White Supremacist Supporters". Yuk it up, dingbat. You won't think you're so cute and clever when people start making the entirely reasonable assumption that you're A-OK with the nazis.

  • Note to reporters – The correct form of coverage of this assholery is: "When given the opportunity to comment, ___________ repeatedly refused to answer any questions about _________________."

    Pretty soon the refusal to answer becomes the issue, and if his opponents can't take advantage of that gigantic opening they don't deserve the office.

    And yes, Jesse Kelly qualifies as a "gigantic opening."

    • Of the nether regions. An evacuation of bowelandia, if you will.

  • Made it 3 seconds until the shitstack opened his mouth. Do I get a prize?

  • tessiee

    Butbutbut, Reverend Wright, and such!

  • PuckStopsHere

    What an asshole. I like to think I'd put that microphone right in his mouth. Hard.

  • tessiee

    Needz moar neck tattoo.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    I have my BS detector set to its' lowest setting since this fuckwad has been airing his ads, otherwise it'll overload .

  • Geminisunmars

    Well, what kind of questions do you expect from a reporter who has a Menorah sticking out of his head?

  • ElPinche

    This is good news for Jesse Kelly.
    Seriously afterall ,it's Arizona, USA's anus.

  • tessiee

    "health care, anything, is a privilege to some extent"

    Unless you're a fetus, of course.

    • JustPixelz

      I was a fetus. It was the best 3/4 year of my life. There were no Repubicans. I was the 1%. And talk about socialism — all my needs were taken care of by the Mommy State.

  • prommie

    Anybody else got anybody else left in their office? I am about to skedaddle off into the summer weekend and dust off my seersucker pants and have me exactly one, just one martini, come 5:00. I use a 4-Our Father and 1 Hail Mary pour count on that martini, because I believe in moderation in all things, especially sobriety and virtue. Adieu, mon freres!

    • Geminisunmars

      Ta ta. See you Tuesday?

    • I'm out in five minutes. Margaritas on the veranda of this nice restaurant, then sober up and ride all weekend.

    • MissTaken

      Got 4 more hours until I can blow this pop-stand. Oh goodie.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Bon weekend, prommie!

      Note: It's totally okay to bastardize the French language with English words again, due to the fact that a socialist won the Presidency!

      • prommie

        oui, pas probleme, nowadays.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      We are seriously under staffed today. That's fine though, makes my day more relaxing. I am taking off early too. Have a great weekend!

    • C_R_Eature

      I'm in my Fortified Compound office now and I'll be here all weekend. I'm not going anywhere with blithering fuckweasels like this roaming free.

      • Hahaha. Stocked up on booze and comestibles, I hope? We're off to scour the curtilage for evidence of weeds in a bit, partner's headed to the store for ribs and what-all. Enjoy your hideout!

        • C_R_Eature

          Oh, I'm well provisioned, thanks and planning on going into town as little as possible or not at all. The Natives get Weird when I surface, as if I'm going to eat them. Well, as if I'm going to eat all of them. Nervous Nellies.

          Enjoy your Partner, Ribs and What-all. I'm going to pop in at times all weekend and post amusing outrages when I can.

          • Maybe it's time to quit getting dressed up in Cthulhu costume for those little visits to town?

          • C_R_Eature

            Costume? I don't have to wear a costume.

          • HistoriBarb

            I'm sorry – it's the hat. You just look too much like you're in the Catholic hierarchy … I think I would fear for my children's safety too.

          • C_R_Eature

            Oh, you needn't worry. I think children are delicious delightful.

    • FNMA

      Still have a couple of hours to go. Then it's sangria on the deck. Or maybe bourbon. Maybe both.

    • I'm still in the office (well, the abandoned home with Internet access that I've used as an office for the past 1.5 months), but plan on taking an extended lunch and seeing if my code fixes can wait until Tuesday.

    • It's the fuckin' weekend, prommie, and a long weekend, at that. A votre sante, I lift a glass for you.

      • JustPixelz

        ooooh! The "fucking weekend". Like me, comes but once a year.

  • Geminisunmars

    This stance of redundantly repetitively repeating your talking points worked so well for Mike Coffman (who is now making the rounds here in Colo trying to explain himself).

  • OldWhiteLies

    I just love that those womenz in the background seem to be having some happy-funneez from this asshat's responses. That's the only thing that makes listening to Mr. BustedRecord for more than ten seconds even possible for me.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I wish the reporter would say "Sorry I don't speak tea-tard."

  • shortsandpants

    I hope he doesn't accidentally point his gun the wrong way. That would be just so awful-bad! A travesty! A plague on man! We can't have that! How will he pay his medical bills?

  • Chichikovobarb

    Well, well. Mr. Kelly has committed a few words from the Declaration of Independence to memory, though I'm not ruling out that he wrote them on his hand. Just think how much it would expand his world if he could hold more than 10 words in his head at once:

    We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–

    Hmmm…. "among these are" eh? So those aren't the only ones, just the ones he chooses to mention. Let's go on:

    That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness

    Hmmm…. "Right of the People" to form governments that "seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness…."

    I wonder who I'll trust. This cementhead, or the author of the Declaration, who was said to be a smart guy.

  • MiniMencken

    Whoa, Nelly! He nailed that smarmy journo-punk but good!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Look, nobody would pay Republicans any attention if they didn't reach out to bigots and extremists.

  • Look at him givin' that lamestream media cipher what for! You go, you racist wingnut mental defective! Transparency and intelligent discourse are for fuckin' sissies!

  • ingloriousbytch

    These reporters aren't playing this the right way. After the third repeat answer, they need to take the questions is a different direction.

    "Jesse, while you're getting blowjobs from hustlers in the men's room at the Rod and Shaft what is your campaign going to focus on?"

    "Jesse, what is the biggest lie you've told in this campaign?"

    "Jesse, are you repeating yourself because you're stoned or because you're tweaking. Repeat your last statement if it's the first and repeat your last statement if it's the second."

  • C_R_Eature

    "Don't be Schtoopit, be a Schmarty! Come undt join ze Nazi Republican Party!"

  • owhatever

    I watched the video but missed the part about lowering gas prices and taxes and creating jobs. Think he might repeat it?

  • Exhausted66

    Do you know who else wouldn't answer questions about Nazi….

    Wait, that's not gonna work this time.

    • Generation[redacted]

      Sgt Schultz?

  • a_pink_poodle

    What a man does with a black family's lawn is his own business!

  • The inability to "leave early" is the downside of working at home.

    Well, that and the all-too-accessible fridge being so much closer than the treadmill.

  • No, they're fixes. I'm castrating the player calls. The last thing the world needs is more baby video.– Nathan

  • pinkocommi

    "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, those are inalienable rights endowed by your creator. "

    If we point out to this guy that most people at some point won't have a life without healthcare, will his head explode? Please?

  • How am I supposed to keep my Nazi past secret when these Jew reporters keep asking about it?

  • Beowoof

    Did I just have a flashback to one of my sister's talking dolls from the 60's? Pull the string and it says the same lame thing over and over.

  • extreme_left

    IG-88 has taken human form.

  • ttommyunger

    Not spending what little time I have left watching this moron. Fuck him, his supporters, his dog and the horse he rode in on.

  • lulzmonger



Previous articleMore Hot Chicks In Combat, More Men At The Gyno
Next articleWe Nominate Fred Karger for President of Campaign Ads