Let’s see, who was the last Republican presidential primary contender to drop out of the campaign? Ron Paul? Yeah, he basically dropped out, in the important sense that he no longer cares to win any primaries. This just leaves Mitt Romney, says the conventional wisdom. Pish posh! Conventional thought, like Mitt Romney, is for weaklings. Why, that sounds like a good theme for a campaign ad? Add in a gratuitous image of Mitt Romney dressed as Pee-wee Herman and some gratuitous fapping to that other creepy television entertainer Ronald Reagan and you’ve got the new California Republican primary ad for marathon GOP presidential campaign holdout Fred “the openly gay one” Karger. It is positively fun. Watch it, after the jump!
Best line: “[Mitt Romney] recently caved to pressure from the far right and let an openly gay member of his campaign team go. He is weak and indecisive. How will Mitt Romney stand up to the leaders of Iran and North Korea if he won’t stand up to a bigoted bully like Bryan Fischer?” This is the best question that has ever been asked about Mitt Romney.
And here is a bonus ad from Fred Karger, featuring some kind of gratuitous softcore beachfront sexytime volleyball team orgy, because vote Fred Karger.
HOT. [YouTube]
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If you like Romney so much why don't you marry him?
I'm pretty sure he can do that, as a Mormon.
I know you are, but what am I?
Wow.
I mean, I might actually vote for him if Obama pisses me off enough
Mitt Romney thanks you for your support.
Kargergle bargrle.
Came for Mitt dressed in Funhouse casual , stayed for the hotties frolicking.
A+++ Wonkette post would read/view again.
He's going to ride that rainbow all the way to the convention.
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this closet door! Let's warm up this cold war!
Karger/Boys of Summer 2012!
"Bring your gear! For a summer every boy will remember…"
I wonder if Fred there could kick Joe the Plumbers ass? In a slap-fight, perhaps.
He probably has at least one boyfriend who could.
It takes a special kind of stupid courage to march into the bear's den every day yelling "I AGREE WITH YOU ON MANY ISSUES! STOP TRYING TO KILL ME!!" Fred Karger has exactly that kind of stupid courage.
"Mr. Romney, tear down these chaps!"
~Fred Karger, Gay
The second vid even has a jaunty porn soundtrack.
I don't know. If Mitt is Pee Wee than that makes Ann Miss Yvonne, when really her outfits are more of a just a Magic Screen.
So, who in Mitt's inner circle gets to say "Repeat after me, in Jambese, "Mekka-lekka-hi, mekka-hiney-ho"?
A floating head in a box speaking jibberish? I'm pretty sure that's Tagg Romney.
I thought they were more of a Magic Scream myself. Who the fuck spends a thousand fucking dollars on a hideous fucking tee shirt, fercrisake?
Mitt Romney – Captain Carl 2012
I liked the beachy one the best…
Okay kids, I'm out of here for a couple weeks. Taking the family to Disney World and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for a good old American commercialcation. Eat your paisley and go to bed on time and I'll bring you all some mouse ears when I get back.
Remember, I need XXL.
Good luck and godspeed.
BTW – I prefer my mouse ears to be spelled with both the M and the T capitalized, thanks!
Ah'm tellin PETA.
Safe travels to you and your family, and give my regards to Rat Town!
You jerk! I wanna go to Harry Potter and the Quest for More Money soooo bad.
If you harm Wally the Moose when you take the Wallyworld mascot hostage, I will cut you.
Have a wonderful time holidaying with the sproggen, and come back filled with hilarious yet cruel tales of vacation among the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Men, Chernobyl!
Enjoy hearing "are we there yet?" on your trip. Travel safe.
So long! And thanks for all the fish!
Not to be buzzkill or anything, but you're aware it's as hot and miserable as a horse's asscrack down here right now, aren't you?
Super – we're going in a few weeks (because we are completely insane). I expect a full report with many helpful tips.
Have fun and stay sane!
If you're not excited about Mitt Romney or the direction of the Republican Party, then here are some hotties on the beach for you to fap to…
I am *almost* tempted to vote Karger as a show of appreciation for the ad. Oh, and brb, also too…
Today the magic word is: millionaire! So whenever anyone says "millionaire", scream real loud!
Can't. Repossessed my voice.
"I know you're conservative but what am I?"
Tossup as to which ad was more disturbing — Romnee's Playhouse or Muscle Beach Caucus.
So it's Fred Karger's free-spinning Frisbee® vs. Mitt Romney's flip-flopping Slinky®?
I cannot recall a political ad ever with yummy man-nips so deliciously filmed. I feel dirty for watching, but OK about the quick + dirty rub-off under my desk.
Romney wants to posthumously convert Reagan, and Karger wants to posthumously diddle him. Neither is an attractive prospect.
#failstounderstandtheGOPhatesgays
Why didn't you put Mitt's head on a picture of Conky?
How may I give this man all my money?
Elect him! Oh, I thought you meant Mittens.
Today's secret word is… FUTILITY!
To be fair, the whole gay thing is sort of the unspoken platform of the Republican Party. It's nice that they are being a little more open about the secrets of their success though. It's just speculation, of course, but Romney's hair is far too perfect to be for the ladies alone. In other words— he may enjoy man-mean; gratuitous piles of it, in fact.
If every campaign ad were required to feature half-naked people frolicking on a beach, I might actually be able to make it through this election season.
You know that the conventional voice over would be some old couple discussing how this effects their medicare, loudly.
And you know what? Nobody would remember hearing a word of it.
Come on in, and get yourself up a elevator (like Elevatory!)
Let the fun begin, it's time to let down your taxes!
Mittens' SO excited,
'cause all his owner pals have been invited (that's you!)
To go wacky, at Mittens' Playhouse (with elevator!!)!
There's a crazy flip flopping, talkin' down to Jeebusland (what that?)
Karl Rove, Fat Cats, and the Koch Bros are controlling Puppet land (yeah!)
He'll say for what he wish (tax cuts for him!),
and dumb advisors who'll just miss –
Golly, it's 1%ers at Mittens' Playhouse!
The primary colors of Pee Wee’s playhouse look different through Romney’s rose-colored glasses.
Can a video really go "viral" if you call it "viral video" in the title?
That's like giving yourself your own nickname.
That's like giving yourself your own nickname.
Fisting this because, I know people like this. I just hadn't realized it til now.
My name's Willard, but everybody calls me Psycho. Anyone call me Willard, I'll fire you.
What's up with the "Parental Advisory"? It's because those lesbians are doing their ab crunches in the scissor position, right?
Well.
I skipped the video. I believe I will close the office door, scroll right back up, and play that puppy in BIG SCREEN FORMAT!! This will be a memorable day, a couple days early!
If anyone is interested, I can whip out the video editor and excise the Karger from the second vid. And, yes, I can put it all in slow motion.
I got a fiver with your name on it if ya do. It's not mine, but I got it.
FLV, for you it is free. So that's like getting 10, right?
"I wish they all could be California…" "I wish they all could be California…"
"I wish they all could be California… GAAAAYS!"
I miss demon sheep.
Ed Begley Jr. has everyone punked this time — you go, girl!
Hell, I'll vote gay republican if the girls in that commercial will, um, toss the frisbee with me.
Why is Bill Lumbergh running for President again?
Needz moar chix on trampolines.
Proven Weak and Indecisive: He Passes the Test of American Presidential Leadership
I like my presidentz blustery and petulant.
Hey, Romney MAY be weak and indecisive…. But this is president of the United States he's running for – not to be leader of some kind of superpower or something.
They should have known those magic underpants were nothing but trouble.
Karger's video needs moar snaps in Z formation.
I am not sure which I understand less Log Cabin Republicans or blah Republicans.
I mean, why join the club when the other members not only really, really do not like you but also actively work to undermine your pursuit of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?
For all the Brits of a certain age
Habop ipop Mitt.
Well with a gay Republican president at least we will know who is F@cking us in the @ss.Who thought you could get any gay'er than a Mormon?
It's like in that movie, Top Gun.
You will definitely be hearing from (convicted sex offender) Paul Reuben's attorney regarding serious Defamation of Character Allegations.
apparently karger's team isn't so up-to-speed on foreign affairs. he's got the deceased former ayatollah ruollah khomeini in there, rather than the current ayatollah ali khamenei.
Hey now, Pee Wee's Playhouse is where I learned to make French Toast as well as having people sit on my face.
You should see the stage show (I think it's still running). The entire cast is doped up on a heaping helping of Self-Awareness, and just run with every single innuendo they can cram (hehe) into a two hour show.
They know their entire audience is gen Xers and gen Y's who are coming for nostalgia, and they stop just short of doing the entire show to a porn soundtrack. There's even a joke about why PeeWee went to prison (you know).
You can do both these things simultaneously? We gotta MEET!
Jambi was one my early role models, that's why I now wear a jeweled turban and live in a box.
Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho!
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