This morning is filled with Amazon warriors, college tuition costs, and new and exciting ways to make conservatives mad! Wow, that sounds like a CBS sitcom that’ll never happen.
- Female soldiers want to be involved in front-line combat. Feminism, bringing you closer to the action! [MSNBC]
- Jeffrey Neely, the General Services Administration high roller who took Vegas by storm, has left the agency. So sad. [Washington Post]
- Here is an infographic on college tuition. Tell me what it says, would you, I can’t seem to look at it without my eyes burning. [NPR]
- Finally, we are one step closer to the male contraceptive pill. They need to hurry up on that, we here at Wonkette are super-excited for how Rush Limbaugh is going to insult a male 30-year-old law student at Georgetown. We’ll start: you… total stud! [BBC News]
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I would totally take a contraceptive pill!
…if I could find a fertile chick to fuck an old man
Morning, Sluggo!
It's easy. Just be rich or famous, preferably rich AND famous.
Or just convince a Kardashian that you are (couldn't be that hard to fool one).
Its always possible. Some horrendous catastrophe, asteroid strike or nuclear war, could leave you the last man on earth.
"More Hot Chicks In Combat, More Men At The Gyno"
Anne Coulter is now totally confused.
Not really. "She's" never needed a gyno.
If Manne needs her prostate examined, she just asks Sean Hannity.
Republicans will support women in front-line combat if the enemy has women on the front line, because, come on, Girl Fight!
But all those monthly infections! They could destroy the enemy before we can bomb them to hell!
They'll all sync up and there will be some kind of nucular PMS explosion.
It's science.
Poor Republicans. In one decade, fags and rags have entered the foxhole.
Too many snobs going to college! We need an economy based on REAL American values, where no one takes birth control and all the men join the Army.
Sounds like Wasilla values.
That was a court ordered enlistment.
And a quite unreasonable one, I might add. I ask you: what teenager hasn't gotten drunk and cut the brake lines of school buses?
Where I went to school, that was what the lamers did. The cools tweaked out on scag and poured fulminating silver into the pre-K nap room.
Wine coolers for everyone*
_____________________
*with a vagina. No real huntin' and trappin' Alaska man is gonna drink that bear whiz.
Except for those that go into a missionary position in Paris.
Try to hang on until 2020
I thought that Foxxy NC womenz said college only cost $87.
Women soldiers? The pill for men? What is this, girls will be boys and boys will be girls; it's a mixed up muddled up shook up world.
Except for Lola.
Hang on, now!….
L….O….L….A….Lola.
Go on?
Whatever Lola wants….Lola gets….
Oops, sorry wrong song.
Win
I heard that the Gyno office was serving champagne that tasted just like cherry cola, C…O…L…A…Cola
COCA COLA LIBEL!
But Lola smiled and took me by the hand
And said dear boy I'm gonna make you a man
Well, I've been around, but I ain't never seen
A guy who looks like a muppet, but he's wrinkled and green
Oh, my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda
I love you guys today.
Sure college prices have gone up lucky for me my thriving car window cleaning concession on Canal Street is keeping pace.
Do these combat fatigues make my butt look big?
Just remember that she's armed before you answer that.
Is that a parachute in your pants, dear?
No, your butt makes the fatigues look too small. And then the fight started. Bang.
"Sure, sweetheart, we don't need a condom. You can trust me. I took the Pill!"
Really, ladies? Are you going to buy this?
Snark off…
No, I would not want to rely completely on the guy to be responsible about taking the pill, but I can think of a good reason to develop one anyway. I think a birth control pill for men would appeal to those guys who are terrified of the thought of having to pay child support for a kid they do not want or are not ready for. You know, the kind of guys who are responsible and decent enough not to cop a hateful "your problem, babe" attitude. So, go science…
B-but invoking stereotypes is so much easier than actually thinking before posting! (Talking to myself here)
Finally, we are one step closer to the male contraceptive pill.
Finally gay men can stop impregnating each other during the buttsex! Because that's how gay babbies are formed! I know this because that lovely lady from NC told Anderson so!
Bulldoggin hoes like them Georgetown Hoyas.
Finally, we are one step closer to the male contraceptive pill.
It involves an aspirin and your urethra.
Actually not as pleasant as it sounds.
Equal opportunity to be a double or more amputee. Progress!
DARN IT. I had an "The amputee fetish community broadly supports this initiative" type joke all lined up.
The good news about today's military is that the plastic surgeons (which they have a genuine need for to treat people disfigured by battle injuries) keep their
chopsskills fresh by doing boob jobs on servicemember families.http://marriedtothearmy.com/does-the-army-pay-for…
Finally, an end to unwanted male pregnancies!
As cool as the idea of no-baby daddy sex is, there is still no "social disease" protection.
You can buy a bottle of Listerine in the dental aisle
Oh. You mean STDs…
Women can't be on the front lines for the simple reason that it is very hard for them to pee on a corpse. Priorities people!
Straddle.
At Abu Graibe, the women found ways to be horrible, too.
A Male Birth Control Pill? I'm afraid that God would See Right Through that!
So it's medical experiments for the lot of you.
It is best to not look directly at the NPR graphic. The correct technique is to get two index cards…punch a needle in the center of one card. Stand back to the graphic, holding the first card up and the second card behind. In this way, the graphic can be seen safely.
I once captured a female Marine at Camp LeJeune. She surrendered.
And all you're left with is her name, rank and serial number.
And every Memorial Day, I remember the fallen.
Laid low?
Oh, she survived the squirmish, but I'm afraid that she walks with a limp now.
The imminent discovery of a male morning-after pill will have even the support of conservatives.
Re: College tuition.
(This is totally plagiarized):
Q. How much will college cost?
A. How much you got?
I'm such a sucker! i paid full 'sticker price' for my college tuition! Back then it was about $1800/year, but still.
One employee told GSA investigators that Neely “squashed like a bug” a regional director who questioned his spending on conferences and travel.
Sounds like the next GOP "Young Gun".
You know the sarcastic, fake-western-accented way Rachel Maddow says "Young Guns"? That's what I hear in my head now whenever I read those words.
Sulagna:
your infographic says we need more tax breaks for american job creators.
from MSNBC regarding women suing to be allowed into combat:
Panetta, et. al need to get into the current century and over this bullcrap sad attitude that women can't cut it. If working moms kick ass because they have round the clock flexibl-adaptability to withstand sleep deprivation, conduct reflexive judgment-on-the-fly, maintain physically nimble and/or endurance-proven — then take these MOTIVATED women, whether parenting or childless, out of your twee menagerie of frozen perception and enhance your military's chronically challenged forces. We could actually prove "exceptional" in the world's eyes, or much of it, if we'd only act on this.
"conduct reflexive judgment-on-the-fly, maintain physically nimble and/or endurance-proven"
…and can pass something the size of a bowling ball through a narrow opening.
e.g. the NPR graphic.
The top row shows the eyes of a cat watching a small mammal just before it leaps on it and tears it to shreds. The left is when it was a little kitty, the right shows the larger, more mature cat eyes.
The second row is the same cat's eyes on LSD.
All men are created equal. Don't say nothing about womminz and the gehs. Love America and he'll love on you right back.
First they were burning bras, now it's going to be neighborhoods and schools. It just ain't fair.
No wonder more men are going to the Gyno–
A team from Imperial College in England found that between 15,000 and 20,000 men have been admitted to obstetric wards each year since 2003, and almost 10,000 to gynaecology wards. (http://flowingdata.com/2012/05/17/why-are-so-many-men-pregnant/)
Feather-footed through the plashy fen passes the questing vole.
Cause, I am silly.
Hey, how come the fat bigot lady's picture is on this page, too?
Ohh, wait, thats the Tyson pig ad.
Female soldiers want to be involved in front-line combat.
Well, settles the argument about which sex is smarter. Hope they don't pay them the same.
…we here at Wonkette are super-excited for how Rush Limbaugh is going to insult a male 30-year-old law student at Georgetown…
Hopefully it'll be something men will have to take daily, regardless of sexual activity, so he can explain how that's nothing like female contraception BECAUSE HE'S THAT FUCKING STUPID.
MEN ON THE PILLZ?1?11!! BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SPERM BABIES?
Can we stuff a probe up their schlongs and make them watch pictures of fetuses before we write the prescription?
I read that last bullet point as, "Rush Limbaugh is going to bone a male 30-year-old law student at Georgetown," which makes more sense to me than anything else I have ever read about Rush Limbaugh.
We called them WACS in the old Army. I knew one that loved popcorn so much she would eat it in her bunk every night. One morning she woke up with a Colonel between her legs.
What do you think strap-ons are for?
Well, not *only* for, but we're talking about girl-on-girl action and STOP JUDGING ME!
But, which one gets preggers from the scissoring. This, btw, is the first time I have heard of scissoring. Sounds fun though.
The Kinks actually had to change the lyrics because of that – at least for a while.
I' m not the world's most masculine man but I know what I am and I know I'm a man.
The band Scissor Sisters is named for the position! The fun part is both lesbians get preggers from it. It's a girlie bonding thing.
Brings a whole new meaning to this band's name, eh?
Oh, I see. So they both get a baby. They don't have to stay like that through gestation.
I have one of the original single pressings that was sent to radio stations for air play. The album still has Coca Cola, but the BBC refused to let the product placement air on their networks, so Davies had to fly from America back to London to dub in "cherry cola" for the single to be released.
And……?????
SO WAS LOLA.
So's Yoda! Yo, Yo, Yo…
Heyyy, WAIT A MINUTE!
That's really cool! I didn't know that Ray had to fly back to do that. Those BBC executives were real badasses.
And that's how the Blue Man Group was formed.
And remember, Pan Am (and BOAC) still flew prop planes, so it wasn't like 6 hours in each direction…
Well, at least there were drinks…
and no TSA.
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