BUT IT SEEMED SO FOOLPROOF  6:45 pm May 24, 2012

New Jersey Mayor Arrested for Trying to Make Internet Quit Saying Mean Things About Him

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Nice wall decoration there, dude.

What comical attempts at cliché villainy do we have out of New Jersey’s ranks of local crony politicians today? Here’s one: the FBI has hauled off West New York’s Democratic mayor Felix Roque and his son on charges of hacking into a website associated with a movement to recall the mayor and then calling up the website’s owner to notify the person that “everyone would pay for getting involved against Mayor Roque.” OOOOOH– ha ha, just kidding. Sarah Palin makes better threats to her own in-laws.

Here is the sordid-and-yet-lame tale of Mayor Roque and his double life as Foursquare mayor of spending time in front of his computer hate-fapping to his enemies’ mean Internet comments about him, via the Star Ledger:

The alleged hacking began in February, when [Felix Roque's son] Joseph Roque was able to access the e-mail account of one of the recall organizers and used that to hack into Go Daddy, the internet service provider that was hosting the website www.recallroque.com. Prosecutors say he then cancelled the account without authorization, taking it down.

The next day, the mayor is charged with making a phone call to another individual associated with the recall movement with the intent of harassing him, telling him that he was aware that he had contributed information to the website.

According to the criminal complaint, Roque called up another recall organizer and intimated that he had the connections to take down the recall website by “highly placed government officials and that everyone would pay for getting involved against Mayor Roque.”

He wasn’t shy about boasting of those contacts, according to the complaint.

“A friend of mine. he works in the — I can’t tell you — three letters — CIA. You know. That’s how I get information. So what I’m doing is not very kosher,” the mayor was quoted as saying.

Oh man, that last one. This guy just sounds like the Gob Bluth of New Jersey politics. [New Jersey Star Ledger]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 203 comments }

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 6:46 pm

How fat is Chris Christie?

Barb May 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Christie is so fat that he leaves footprints in concrete.

Designer_Radio May 24, 2012 at 11:34 pm

Ha! awesome.

HarryButtle May 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Christie is so fat, he got his own zip code.

Tundra Grifter May 24, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Thank you Weird Al!

HarryButtle May 24, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Had to go with a classic.

Mittens Howell, III May 24, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Christie's so fat bacon wants to eat him.

Fairtackle May 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

He's "Chris Christie" fat.

Designer_Radio May 24, 2012 at 11:35 pm

LOL! perfect.

Fairtackle May 25, 2012 at 12:37 am

He is a singularity.

John von Neumann was quoted as saying about Chris Christie that "the ever accelerating progress of fatness … gives the appearance of approaching some essential singularity in the history of the race beyond which human affairs, as we know them, could not continue."

Nostrildamus May 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm

His license plate is I8NJ

Monsieur_Grumpe May 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm

He's so fat that his liposuction byproduct could power Disneyland for 224 years or Lindsey Graham's vibrator for a week.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm

Only a week? I thought Lindsey Graham had switched to a hybrid.

Tundra Grifter May 24, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Those Black & Deckers suck up juice.

Is it true Lindsey has to kick-start his?

Fare la Volpe May 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

Hand crank.

BTWBFDIMHO May 24, 2012 at 11:50 pm

You mean, a shemale?

rickmaci May 24, 2012 at 7:28 pm

He's so fat that after sex he smokes a ham.

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 10:31 pm

Okay, I nominate this for comment of the week.

HogeyeGrex May 25, 2012 at 3:54 am

Aside from the whole "I now need to pour oil of vitreol into my ears to get rid of the very idea of him having sex" part, I agree.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm

He's so fat that the tides change when he goes to the beach.

bagofmice May 25, 2012 at 8:11 am

I suppose that's one way to moon people.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Chris Christie is so fat, the UN is considering awarding him nation-state status.

rickmaci May 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm

He's so fat his official portrait is an aerial view.

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Christie's so fat that if he bungie-jumped off of the top of the Empire State Building, it would be 9-11 all over again.

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 10:29 pm

Chris Christie is so fat when he was in Israel his body guard had to protect him from the Whaling Wall.

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Chris Christie is so fat that light is unable to bend around him rendering him invisible whilst viewed from the other side.

Chris Christie is so fat that he doesn't have heart attacks, he has Big Mac attacks.

Barb May 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Chris Christie is so fat that he shows up on radar.

rocktonsam May 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Christie is so fat Mittinz won't make him vice president

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 12:45 am

Oooo, burn! Way to cut to the heart of the matter.

Designer_Radio May 25, 2012 at 7:06 am

Chris Christie is so fat, it would take the Jaws of Life and a ten man crew to cut to the heart of the matter.

extreme_left May 25, 2012 at 4:38 am

He so fat Isostatic rebound happens!!… open a book losers.

James Michael Curley May 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

Hey! I've got your Appalachian Prang right here!

Dashboard Buddha May 25, 2012 at 8:03 am

He's so fat that his wife won't let him wear a dark gray bathing suit at the beach.

niblick77 May 25, 2012 at 8:36 am

He is so fat he wakes up in two time zones. (forgive me lord)

actor212 May 25, 2012 at 8:39 am

So fat that Rush Limbaugh warns him about his weight

not that Radio May 25, 2012 at 8:45 am

Lipitor had to file for a restraining order.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

Chris Christie's so fat that when he flew from California to Texas last week
this happened.

PuckStopsHere May 24, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Isn't the Jersey State Slogan, "Legs Get Broken?"

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

Either that or "He went to the Meadowlands, under the endzone."

smokefilledroommate May 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm

"We work in waste management."

anniegetyerfun May 24, 2012 at 7:13 pm

"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."

miss_grundy May 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm

I thought it was "Take the gun, leave the cannoli."

tessiee May 24, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Chris Christie would never leave any cannoli.

BTWBFDIMHO May 25, 2012 at 12:34 am

As a Republican, he'd go: "take the gun, and take the cannoli."

UW8316154 May 24, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Never, never leave the cannoli.

Callyson May 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm

People make complaints, people wind up in garbage cans. Who can explain it?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 24, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Isn't it "Keep your mouth shut, if you know what's good for you"?

bikerlaureate May 24, 2012 at 7:40 pm

"Mistakes Were Made" ?

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 7:46 pm

"I do not recall having that conversation".

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

"On advice of counsel, I invoke my Fifth Amendment privileged to remain silent"?

Sharkey May 24, 2012 at 9:04 pm

You talkin' to me? YOU TALKIN TO ME PUCK?

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 10:37 pm

I thought it was:

"New Jersey: Fuhgeddaboudit"

tessiee May 24, 2012 at 10:53 pm
sewollef May 25, 2012 at 8:58 am

That's Brooklyn and Mary Markowitz's slogan. Jersey can kiss my ass and get their own.

The Jersey mob don't scare me, Brooklyn's got its own.

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Can Roque serve out his terms (jail and office) concurrently?

Respitetini May 25, 2012 at 9:35 am

Wouldn't be a first in Hudson County.

ChilLysol May 24, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Next time, hire on of Murdock's hackers.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 24, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Back to the banana stand for this guy.

starfanglednut May 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

There's money in that banana stand.

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm

There's big money in making guys' banana stand.

weejee May 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm

 

starfanglednut May 24, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Oh don't be silly. Guys' bananas stand on their own without any encouragement whatsoever. All you have to do is look at the things, and there they are, standing firmly at attention.

Crank_Tango May 24, 2012 at 8:17 pm

no touching!

banana_bread May 27, 2012 at 2:38 am

Did someone mention bananas?

ManchuCandidate May 24, 2012 at 6:51 pm

CIA?
Culinary Institute America.

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Do they still serve student dinners there? I went once and it was wonderful.

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Soylent Joisey?

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Not since they invited Chris Christie to one and hungry, and tragically confused about the exact meaning of "student dinner", he ate half of the class of 2011 and three faculty members.

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 7:07 pm

Were they skullfried?

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

In Hyde Park? Did that once and wow.

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I remember a Jerry Springer episode years ago when some redneck says he was enrolled in the CIA, and then Jerry asked him to explain it, and it was genuinely one of the intentionally funny moments that show has ever had.

Fairtackle May 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

All this guy is missing is a nonexistent plumber's license.

shortsandpants May 24, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Sure— but why BE someone your not when you can ACT like someone your not?

CapnRadio May 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

The breaching of computer files leading to a New Jersey official's dismissal? Are you sure this guy isn't the Mayor of–let me finish–Hackensack?

deanbooth May 24, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Well done!

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

Ken Zisa, police chief of Hackensack was just convicted of official misconduct, conspiracy to commit official misconduct and witness tampering. Springing from an attempt to commit insurance fraud when his girl friend struck a utility pole. The first police officer on the scene smelled alcohol on her breath but when he called it in was told not to test her. He wrote up a report and the chief changed the report and coerced the officer to remain quiet. The girl friend and the chief were facing having no coverage if she was drinking. for the damage she did to a police vehicle he let her drive So the story was concocted that she swerved to avoid hitting an animal. He should be sentenced in a few weeks, but there is not a lot of time expected for these types of crimes in NJ.

littlebigdaddy May 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I used to play Hackensack when I was smoking dope.

UW8316154 May 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Me, too, until I left my Hacensack out in the rain and it started to rot.

Designer_Radio May 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Me too, for hours as a teenager. Now my fat ass is doing Jillian Michaels' kickboxing videos with my very fit wife (I can haz cliche sitcom relationship?). I can barely kick above my waist now, but I remember kicking the hack above my head back in the day. I'm disgusting : (

Kidding, I don't care.

ManchuCandidate May 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

"You can't arrest the guy wearing the $300 suit! Come on!!"

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 6:58 pm

West New York voters have Roques in their heads.

WhatTheHeck May 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Youse guys think this is funny? For Chrissakes, its Nu Joisey where kneecaps are a liability.

Barb May 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm

I'm surprised that his idiot son got past the Danica Patrick ads on Go Daddy. He doesn't sound smart enough to hack into a tangerine even after his dad tore off the first part of the peel for him.

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Since you are here fairly recently, may I hope that things are stable on the childbirth front?

Barb May 24, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Thanks for asking! Yes, things are good tonight. The day started out really manic and weird and ended well. We just need to keep Chrissy from giving birth too soon and everything could work out for the best.

Fukui-sanRadioBarb May 25, 2012 at 12:13 am

Here's me with my fingers crossed still.

Barb May 25, 2012 at 1:02 am

Oh, I love me some Fukui, thanks!

George Skullfry May 25, 2012 at 12:50 am

Ditto on the crossed fingers. How is the other grandbarbie coming along?

Barb May 25, 2012 at 1:22 am

Lol, George. That was the other drama today. I've been emailing Victoria, asking about her baby and she's blown me off for 10 days straight. I don't call her because she is a hospice nurse who works 12 hours shifts.

Vic emailed me today and said that she's been emailing my old email address, Barb@gmail.com for 10 days. I dumped that email addy to avoid a creepy, racist stalker. She went to her "sent mail" folder and forwarded me everything I missed. *whew* I thought I was in the mommy "dog house" for some strange reason.

Vic is doing well, her son will be born soon and she will name him Mitchell Anderson. My son-in-law, Ian is a dream and he's super excited. My other son-in-law, Jason is a real champ and he can't wait to have a daughter.

I sleep with my cell phone and I am edgy and super excited at the same time. This is the best thing EVER!

Dashboard Buddha May 25, 2012 at 8:01 am

"smart enough to hack into a tangerine even after his dad tore off the first part of the peel for him."

Adding this to my insult tool box now. Thanks!

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Roque, who is a strong supporter of Republican Gov. Chris Christie

So he's a strong supporter of the Fatman? I wonder how much he can bench press.

Tundra Grifter May 24, 2012 at 8:18 pm

All of Christie's surviving supporters are quite strong.

The weak ones suffocated years ago.

LionHeartSoyDog May 24, 2012 at 9:43 pm

How many sitting judges on the bench you got?

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Roque's a Democrat,
As the Boss says; "We Take Care of our Own" but not if they go Rogue.

Roque tried to recall the previous Mayor Sal Vega a democrat born in Cuba with extensive connections in the Cuban American community. Roque's recall was found to be invalid for lack of authenticated signatures but he won the election against Vega last year. I did not appreciate that Robert Menendez did not come forward with a strong endorsement of Vega. But Roque was also born in Cuba and the cuban/hispanic/latino mix ups in NJ politics make for some strange mojo.

CapnRadio May 24, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Joseph Roque was able to access the e-mail account of one of the recall organizers and used that to hack into Go Daddy,

In Joseph Roque's defense, all he was doing was trying to find the video that shows the ending of the commercial where Danica Patrick is taking a shower.

HarryButtle May 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Aren't we all?

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 7:04 pm

It's too bad that George Tierney of Greenville, SC didn't have the 1337 hax0r skillz of Joseph Roque. If he did he could have hacked into firedoglake.com and taken all of his comments off of teh internetz.

anniegetyerfun May 24, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Alas, I was hoping George Tierney Jr. of Greenville, South Carolina was finally going to get his day in the glorious Wonkette sun.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Alas, but it looks as if we'll see a Wonkette story about skull-fucking retards before we see one on George Tierney of Greeneville, SC.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 7:35 pm

I just had a comment deleted and I said nothing CLOSE to as inflammatory as you just did. I haz a jelus and I is telling Mommy. I mean Editrix.

No, srsly — are you her live-in, or what?

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 8:04 pm

Her live-in? I wish!

CivicHoliday May 25, 2012 at 8:18 am

LOL G.T., you haz an internet FAIL

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 7:07 pm

First Cory Booker and now this idiot. What the fuck is wrong with New Jersey mayors this week? Have they been drinking the goddamned tap water or something?

Mittens Howell, III May 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Pffftt. Tell me when someone does something legal in New Jersey.

actor212 May 25, 2012 at 8:40 am

I paid a toll last week on the Pkwy.

Wonderthing May 24, 2012 at 7:09 pm

You had me at Gob Bluth. Please mention him earlier next time. I am a busy Wonderthing.

HarryButtle May 24, 2012 at 7:13 pm

How'd he get to be mayor? Looks kinda brownish to me.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 24, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Roque sounds French. I suspect he smells of garlic and elderberry.

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

The castle King Arthur's men stormed was Roque fort.

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Pretty cheesey there, Bub Barb.

bikerlaureate May 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

His mother was a hamster.

littlebigdaddy May 24, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries, for the record.

Mittens Howell, III May 24, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Last time I hacked into a Go Daddy account I woke up next morning with a severed elephant's head in my bed.

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm
Callyson May 24, 2012 at 7:18 pm

The website shutdown came after Joseph Roque spent some time on the internet researching how to hack a provider password, and learned enough to get into the Go Daddy site. After requesting a password change, Joseph Roque obtained control of the recall account and shut it down, prosecutors said.

Great security controls, Go Daddy…

Callyson May 24, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Roque earlier this year endorsed Republican Joseph Kyrillos against incumbent U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez (N-N.J.) in February, only to awkwardly take it back a month later after facing pressure from his own party.

So that *was* Senator Menendez' laughter I heard all the way out here in Los Angeles, then…thought so…

FakaktaSouth May 24, 2012 at 7:20 pm

I swear to God, fucking New Jersey.

Okay, sorry, I just wanted to be superior, even if only in my own imaginary way, one damn time. I'm over it now, thanks.

littlebigdaddy May 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

I know–I live in a despised (despised and rejected) state as well, although thank dog it is not Alabama (haha). But NJ is an easy target, even if you are from a redneck place, because, Snooki!

Fare la Volpe May 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

Is from New York.

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 12:42 am

And, not cool New York, either, but Poughkeepsie(sp?), no less.

Chichikovobarb May 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

Did he pick his feet there?

prommie May 25, 2012 at 10:35 am

No, alas, I believe she is the only one who is actually from New Jersey, the rest from Staten Island.

Fare la Volpe May 25, 2012 at 11:29 am

Nope. That's Sammi Sweetheart. I know because Cracked's resident Jersey Shore reviewer went into a shame spiral after he figured out that she attended his Jersey high school.

littlebigdaddy May 27, 2012 at 12:46 am

And what a fucking waste of time and money to send those idiots to Italy. Give me a nice apartment in Italy and I would write poetry worthy of Shelley!

Doktor StrangeZoom May 24, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Mayor Joque?

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 7:27 pm

He forgot the cardinal rule: If you joque someone, make sure you leave no marks.

not that Radio May 24, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Fuque 'em if they can't taque a joque.

WunkRocker May 25, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Going Roque all the way to the Poque.

Callyson May 24, 2012 at 7:21 pm

What does Wikipedia have to say about this piece of work?

On March 23, 2011 Dr. Roque held a press conference from Town Hall addressing several visits from FBI agents to the Town of West New York. Although many conflicting reports have been published as the reason for these visits, including personally implicating Dr Roque's private medical practice, the Mayor himself did not deny the fact that Federal agents were in town but did mention it was for an unrelated investigation. FBI spokesman Briar Travers did in fact confirmed that the FBI was in West New York but decline to give any details in the investigation. In an interview with The Jersey Journal, Dr. Roque stated that the FBI's interest in West New York was possibly "politically motivated" and disclosed that despite several media outlets reporting as so, no personal documentation or computer equipment had been requested or retrieved from any Municipal of private facility.

Claim of political harassment from the FBI/Obama's Chicago Machine in 3…2…1…

CapnRadio May 24, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Note to all non-Booker New Jersey mayors: getting behind a firewall is not the same as running into a burning building.

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 7:29 pm

That pic looks like someone took a shot of him on the throne, and then photoshopped it into an office. Pinch face.

Come to think of it, look at that "blind justice" print behind him. Did he look around the interwebz until he found one that looked like she was about to fall out of her dress?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm

He and his son made a huge mistake.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 24, 2012 at 7:33 pm

In New Jersey, I was led to understand that telling people that "everyone will pay" for going against you was just a polite way of saying "hello."

chascates May 24, 2012 at 7:42 pm

And no one ever asks 'is that a gun in your pocket or . . .' because it's ALWAYS a gun in their pocket!

V572 Is this him? May 24, 2012 at 7:40 pm

"Felix Roqué" is the best corrupt mayoral name since "Kwame Kilpatrick."

This is why they never caught Mayor Richard J Daley at anything—his name was just too blah. I mean bland.

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

Your hypothesis is invalid! How do you account for this guy? Hmm?

V572 Is this him? May 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Damn! Thwarted by evidence again.

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm

There's a patch for that, here's the link:

RepublicanFactDenyer.exe

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 8:32 pm

I will point out, in the interests of Science, that the article contains the magic words "White himself was never indicted of wrongdoing." That's even got the incorrect grammar that is a sure sign of being-right-ness.

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 8:49 pm

True story: When Dad Owls owned a piece of a small foundry in Easton, MA, he bid on a project to replace the cast iron fence surrounding the Boston Public Garden. Shortly thereafter he got a call from someone on White's staff asking for a campaign contribution (he was up for re-election). Pop declined the invitation. A few days later, he got a call from White's campaign manager, asking if he'd reconsidered and would now like to donate. Pop declined the invitation. The next day he got a call from someone claiming to be White's sister, who strongly urged him to donate, noting that the Mayor, "takes care of his friends." Pop declined the invitation. I'm pretty sure that if the whole family wasn't at the dinner table, next to the phone, Dad would have deployed some of the language skills one acquires while working in a foundry.

Pop doesn't get the contract. Guess who does? White's brother-in-law. The work was so shabby that by the time they'd gotten half-way around the Garden, the first parts of the fence were falling down. Contract is cancelled, bid is re-opened, and guess who gets the contract this time? POP! I actually worked on that fence, which still stands today.

Of course, Pop added a "I Got You By The Balls" surcharge the second time.

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 9:06 pm

There you go again, with those feel-good, fairy tale endings. Such a sunny disposition!—

Chichikovobarb May 24, 2012 at 7:44 pm

When the police hauled him away, I hope they were singing "We're going to rock, rock, rock. Rock with the Roque"

dyedwool May 24, 2012 at 7:51 pm

He kinda looks like Santorum's daughter in that one famous photo, up there, in that photo. Foreshadowing?

Rotundo_ May 24, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Great pic of the good mayor, he looks like people do when they realize that the fart they just released is a wet one, really, really, really, wet and they are wearing white (or *were* wearing white) slacks.

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 8:06 pm

Isn't letting a really, really, really wet fart in white slacks before Memorial Day or after Labor Day considered to be gauche?

shortsandpants May 24, 2012 at 8:05 pm

The First Rule of Internets is "do not talk about Internets." Like so many of the fallen, even at the friendly hands of the humble commenters/BULLIES/meanies of Wonkette, unfortunate victims entrap themselves inevitably to the enthralling, entrancing embrace of defense against a bunch of immature meanies. These poor cannonites know not what they do when waving their patriotic dildos in the air in some esoteric blasphemy against humor, and NAY… NAY I SAY UNTO THEE… the punishment for ignorance is trolling, domain server attacks, and linear-minded references to said-victims sexual/criminal/racist ETC. moronicies. YAY, now, NOT NAY, I SAY UNTO THEE. They freaking ask for it. Jackasses.

Tundra Grifter May 24, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Politicians should stick with changing their own Wikipaedia pages.

BlueStateLibel May 24, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Politicians and the Internet seem to mix like oil and water, no?

elburritodeluxe May 24, 2012 at 8:40 pm

This guy is the reformer who, against all odds knocked out a corrupt longtime incumbent, that's the crazy part. WNY is political crazytown, even for NJ.

sewollef May 25, 2012 at 9:10 am

Other than the views of midtown [Manhattan], there's little to recommend it.

Wait. Let me rephrase. There's nothing to recommend it. It's fucking New Jersey.

BTWBFDIMHO May 24, 2012 at 9:00 pm

What can you expect from a town named West New York? Very Sopranesque indeed.

pinkocommi May 24, 2012 at 9:05 pm

He's the "Jersey Shore" version of Rod Blagojevich. Greasier. Stupider. Crasser. Who would have thought it possible?

HistoriBarb May 24, 2012 at 10:46 pm

What are you talking about? This guy is fucking gold-plated.

tessiee May 24, 2012 at 10:57 pm

He's also fatter.

elburritodeluxe May 25, 2012 at 8:59 am

Jersey Shore = Staten Island people, please!

Barbb4sunrise May 24, 2012 at 9:15 pm

What the hell is going on with the Barbs?

flamingpdog May 24, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Hey, if you can't take a Barb now and then, what are you doing on teh Wonkette?

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Grandbarbies on the way.

Chichikovobarb May 24, 2012 at 11:23 pm

Hey GS – I forgot to mention, in the previous stirring episode in which you revealed your secret past, that it's great to have you back! I missed you.

owhatever May 24, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Stupid is hereditary.

SayItWithWookies May 25, 2012 at 12:25 am

…you get it from your kids.

valthemus May 24, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Hasn't Roque ever heard of stooges, patsies, fall guys and henchmen? The guy in charge never sullies his hands with direct involvement. His own fault for missing Dick Cheney's super-villainy webinar.

glamourdammerung May 24, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Yeah, but he is totally going to win in Internet Court!

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 10:00 pm

Bah, Roque.

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Roque, Coco.

MosesInvests May 25, 2012 at 2:50 am

Good evening, Mr. Danger.

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

So Roque is a dishonest dipshit and a conservative-leaning DINO — I hope this is practice for Joe Lieberman.

rocktonsam May 24, 2012 at 10:05 pm

dis guy

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 10:30 pm

Don't ever change, New Jersey.

BTW, isn't West New York literally a few blocks wide? Did he think he could get away with this with the town practically living on top of itself?

sewollef May 25, 2012 at 9:12 am

Yes, and er, yes.

tessiee May 24, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Don't you guys think that "West New York" is a poor choice of name for a town that's actually in New Jersey, and that the town probably has identity and/or self-esteem issues as a result?

littlebigdaddy May 25, 2012 at 12:01 am

Like East Chicago, IN–an actual place such as it is.

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2012 at 12:54 am

I don't know – at least it's honest. I keep telling Canadians that they should just go ahead and call themselves North USA, but they tell me to go fuck myself, eh?

Come here a minute May 25, 2012 at 7:02 am

The town so nice they named it twice! But the second name was New Jersey, so, not so nice.

ttommyunger May 25, 2012 at 6:54 am

Breaking the law to keep a job I wouldn't take…I am gobsmacked. I might as well be reading an article on quantum physics; I just don't get it, and I think I'm lucky.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 6:59 am

Happy Towel Day, all you Hoopy Froods!

not that Radio May 25, 2012 at 7:51 am

Welcome back! What an austere occasion!

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 8:08 am

Thank you. I'm wearing my Peril-Sensitive sunglasses all day long, in honor of Douglas.

not that Radio May 25, 2012 at 8:27 am

It's the weird colour scheme that freaks me. Every time you try to operate one of these weird black controls, which are labeled in black on a black background, a small black light lights up black to let you know you've done it.

The glasses must help with that.

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 8:34 am

They do. When they turn impenetrably black, they prevent me from pushing the button whos display said "Do Not Push This Button" at first and then "Do Not Push This Button Again" after I pushed it.

Dashboard Buddha May 25, 2012 at 8:00 am

42

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 8:14 am

Not only the Answer, but a pretty picture too.

Mumbletypeg May 25, 2012 at 10:24 am

Happy Towel Day

This is awesome, esp. the bookstore in Australia offering discounts for the occasion.
I really really need to fit in time for adding some Douglas Adams to my already overloaded list…

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 10:28 am

Isn't it great? You should read the (5-book) Hitchhiker's Trilogy from the beginning. You'll be glad you did.

Barbb4sunrise May 25, 2012 at 11:27 am

Jynnan tonnyx for all.
C_R_ is buying?

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 11:31 am

This round of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters is on me!

Should only take one round.

Dashboard Buddha May 25, 2012 at 8:04 am

Well, you can make things foolproof, but you can't make things damnfoolproof.

DahBoner May 25, 2012 at 8:28 am

If the internet is Kosher, then what's with the Chris Christy photos????

C_R_Eature May 25, 2012 at 10:55 am

LDTTS, with Dirk Gently – was that the one with the horrible filthy refrigerator?

I think your well on your way to Hoopy Frood-dom.

comrad_darkness May 25, 2012 at 1:52 pm

And I had some dick from NJ just the other day insisting, INSISTING that NY politics were worse. Idiot.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Me too. Smart, cute, what's not to like.

George Skullfry May 25, 2012 at 1:41 am

It's raining babies!!!

Chichikovobarb May 25, 2012 at 7:48 am

This is all great news. From my observation of my own parents since my kids were born, being a grand-parent is an improved version of being a parent – all the fun and none of the hassle.

Barb May 25, 2012 at 2:29 am

It is a blessing, indeed.

BelleSC May 25, 2012 at 6:54 am

The center of your universe is about to shift. Nothing is ever the same once you have a G-baby take breath. They can do all of the horrible, obnoxious things your children may (or not) have done and it is PERFECTLY ALRIGHT. :-) Their parents' job description is to raise them right. The G-parents' job description is to ruin them. That's my take on it anyway :-)

Good luck to you all.

imissopus May 26, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I particularly like all his whining about how the DOJ and IRS have taken everything from him. Er, no, you jackass, you FORFEITED those things when you committed federal crimes while serving as an elected federal official. The dude has obviously learned nothing in prison. Maybe he should have served his time in a SuperMax.

V572 Barb May 26, 2012 at 3:31 pm

The hand-written note at the bottom about needing a gun to shoot food is particularly poignant. The fighter pilots in the squadron he commanded used to joke about the “Duke-lexia” in the memos he’s send.

not that Radio May 26, 2012 at 4:30 pm

That would cause some heliorrhoids, no doubt.

-or-

Talk about a Solar Wind!

not that Radio May 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Still working on them. There will be some processing involved. This one is pretty lo-res, but somewhat cool. Two secondary reflections inside the camera.

C_R_Eature May 26, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Chris Christie has Nuclear Piles!

Negropolis May 26, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Weird. I see a page full of posts from yesterday that I didn't see when I was here yesterday. Wow.

Designer_Radio May 27, 2012 at 12:43 am

We should probably burn a Koran.

C_R_Eature May 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm

That's nice, thanks! The secondaries are cool – remind me of photos of semicircular shadows through tree cover, during partial eclipses.

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