FINALLY HE'S GOOD FOR SOMETHING  3:30 pm May 24, 2012

Spain Takes Break From Economic Woes to Laugh at Rick Scott

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

Does Sacha Baron Cohen need a comedy sidekick?

Perennial top contender for America’s most fervently incompetent governor Rick Scott is working hard for the title even on a trade mission to Spain: He managed to earn immediate ridicule from the country’s 47 million residents within actual seconds of meeting the King of Spain. He’s efficient! King Juan Carlos has lately been in hot water for taking a fancy elephant-murdering trip to Botswana while the country’s economy shrivels under a banking crisis and a 24% unemployment rate, so much so that he issued a first-ever public apology for his actions. This provided a no-fail comedy setup for Florida’s dipstick governor, whose first words upon meeting the king were, “I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.” Don’t stop there, Rick! (He doesn’t.)

This is what a king looks like when he wants to slap the person whose hand he is shaking:

From the Miami New Times:

Scott apparently didn’t understand that the King didn’t want to talk about the trip, and keeps blabbing on about it. Scott asks that King how he was injured, and talks about his own travels to Botswana. Scott’s wife Annette begins talking about how they were in a Jeep that was being chased by elephants in Botswana, and that she wished that the King had been in the Jeep with them. The last thing the King wants right now is to be back in Botswana.

The King meanwhile kept shaking other people’s hands as the Scott blabbed on about Botswana.

The incident has become fodder in the Spanish press, and El Intermedio, something sort of like the Spanish version of The Daily Show, lampooned the exchange.

Your move, Jan Brewer. [Miami New Times Blogs]

 
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{ 135 comments }

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I bet Rick Scott misses Generallissimo Franco.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Is he still dead? I figured after all these years…

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

And still in Hell.

biblioteq_tress May 24, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"Generallissimo! I sure do love your Beefaroni!"

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Hey, I tweeted this to Commiegirl! Awright! Even if I'm not credited for it….ratserfratser….

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Do you know who else liked to shoot elephants?

ChernobylSoup May 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Hannibal's enemies?

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Captain Spaulding? In fairness, they were in his pajamas.

GuanoFaucet May 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Teddy Roosevelt?

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm
V572 Is this him? May 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Enngnnghh…Orwell didn't like doing it. Just had to. The same way we had to invade Iraq once we got everything ginned up to do so.

Which was exactly Orwell's point, only more eloquently made.

ManchuCandidate May 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hemmingway!

Mumbletypeg May 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

With One "M"!
To be fair — I keep spelling "Sally Hemmings" wrong, have no idea why.

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Hemmmmmmingway?

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

John Huston?

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Bungalow Bill?

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm

He went out tiger hunting with his elephant and gun. He didn't shoot the elephant.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm

There's no pleasing some people.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Hey, if looks could kill it would have been us instead of him.

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Groucho Marx?

WhatTheHeck May 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Piano makers?

imissopus May 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Thomas Edison? No wait, he liked to electrocute elephants.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 7:32 pm

To be fair to Edison the elephant was wearing a hoodie.

chascates May 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

WDM Bell?

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Vlad Vladikoff, the Wickersham Brothers and the Sour Kangaroo?

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Who?*

[*That was the speck of dust talking]

veence69 May 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

jeebus?

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:21 pm

The guy that killed Babar's mother?

calliecallie May 24, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Rudyard Kipling?

Guppy May 24, 2012 at 8:00 pm
Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 11:32 pm

America's next Veep, Donald Trump?

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:35 pm

♫ Allllllllll night
He was the ugly American♪
(Ugly American, Ugly American)

coolhandnuke May 24, 2012 at 3:36 pm

…“I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.”

Good to hear Rick is keeping his lust in the tribe…the rentboys must be Repugs.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm

He's a fattie lover?

coolhandnuke May 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Gots to be since it takes a whole heaping foundation of Stand Your Ground when you've snagged a big one.

weejee May 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

 

biblioteq_tress May 24, 2012 at 5:20 pm

…“I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.”

Presumably none of them have attempted to out him yet.

SoBeach May 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Florida RULES!!! In your FACE, South Carolina!

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

You wouldn't beieve how many times Nikki Haley heard that from Will Folks.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm

It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays

Goonemeritus May 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Another wasted 10 weeks sitting through that Dale Carnegie course

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:40 pm

There's the problem: he cut classes.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Spain: "It could be worse, we could be Greece!"

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 1:30 am

Greece: "Thank god for Mississippi."

prommie May 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Its fun to ride elephants, but you don't want your subjects to see you on one.

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."

–King Juan Carlos

Lucidamente1 May 24, 2012 at 3:41 pm

"Hey, do you guys still have auto-da-fé's?"

Steverino247 May 24, 2012 at 6:25 pm

It's what ought not to do but you do anyway.

smokefilledroommate May 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Didn't anybody brief him on "don't mention elephants?" Moron.

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

We should probably count ourselves lucky they at least covered his unspeakable wife, Queen Lisa.

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Perhaps he can serve Rick Scott some humble pie.

imissopus May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

John Guare libel!

MosesInvests May 24, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Basil Fawlty libel!1!

Come here a minute May 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

You know how it is — somebody says don't mention elephants, and all you can talk about is elephants.

GlowneyHouse May 24, 2012 at 9:19 pm

It is the elephant in the room, after all.

Gainsbourg69 May 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Rick Scott is an idiot, but I'm kind of glad he embarrassed that elephant murderer.

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And Juan Carlos goes to bed tonight cursing the memory of Ponce de Leon.

Jus_Wonderin May 24, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Though the King can be credited for finally finding the Fountain of Doof.

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 1:31 am

Cortez/s libel!

ChernobylSoup May 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

The King's military attache, Colonel Hathi, was not amused either.

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Air Force Chief of Staff General Babar was so angry he bombed the Governor's mansion.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

It's interesting that Juan Carlos didn't question him further on his own ethics scandal.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition…

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 3:45 pm

They say an elephant never forgets. Too bad Rick Scott never remembers.

PuckStopsHere May 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

He probably went to Spain for advice on how to get Florida's jobless rate up to 24% too.

MosesInvests May 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Don't forget the Burmese pythons.

timbo71351 May 24, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Hard to believe that a crooked businessman would do something embarrasing in front of a head of state.

Mahousu May 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Scott then told the king how much he loved Spanish food, like tacos and chimichangas.

elburritodeluxe May 24, 2012 at 3:48 pm

King "I'm at a disadvantage. I've never been accused of Medicare fraud."

Ayn Rand Paul Tard May 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I've always wondered what the full grown baby of the unholy union between John Malkovich and a vampire would look like. Now I know.

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 3:49 pm

For those who didn't read the linked article, it contains this treat:

Note to Gov. Scott: while on diplomatic missions, do not talk about foreign dignitary's recent scandals.

It's like if someone greeted Scott with the line, "I've ridden high speed rail. I've never tried to kill it," or "I've run a company before. I've never had it subjected to the largest fraud settlement in my country's history."

BlueStateLibel May 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Foolish man is foolish.

Lascauxcaveman May 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Jack Link's Beef Jerky : Messin' with Saquatch :: Rick Scott : Messin' with the King of Spain

MosesInvests May 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You can call it what you want to, I call it messin' with the King.

SorosBot May 24, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Wait, Rick Scott has fucked elephants?

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Poor GOP Babar.

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 4:12 pm

At least he found something to do with that head of his.

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Yeah, but the elephants were really, really drunk at the time and regretted it the next morning.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I think "Shooting the Elephant" could be the political equivalent of "Jumping the Shark" – the moment when any respect that a pol may have garnered just….evaporates, as the public realize that he/she really is a fuckwit. For example, when did Snowbillie shoot the elephant? Her "AOTK" interview? When she described AK's proximity to Russia as "foreign policy experience"? Her debate winkfest?

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I second you on that.

He "shot the elephant."

Yup, werksferme.

Jus_Wonderin May 24, 2012 at 3:57 pm

We really need to breed sharks that can jump higher. Much of this pain wouldn't have even happened.

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 1:33 am

Si, let's make this a thing.

prommie May 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

You're not supposed to mention the elephant in the living room.

CapnRadio May 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Nor the skeletons of shot elephants in the closet.

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

It's a shame the conversation got cut off before Scott got to ask the King if it is true what they say about Spanish Fly.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 4:11 pm

"So, Mr. Carlos……Juan…..where can a guy get some of that spanish fly shit? A….uh… friend asked me to bring some back for him……."

MiniMencken May 24, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Reminds me of the first time Chet Baker met in Italy with the jazz pianist Romano Mussolini, youngest son of Benito. Baker's unforgettable conversation opener: "Bummer about your old man."

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Chet Baker at least had the good graces not to be governor of Florida.

Nostrildamus May 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

"Scott’s wife Annette begins talking about … being chased by elephants …"

Today we are all Annette Scott.

Jus_Wonderin May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

That was her code for their sexytime roleplay.

ManchuCandidate May 24, 2012 at 3:59 pm

It would have been less insulting to the King of Spain if he wore trackpants, an "I'm with Stupid" T-shirt and a fanny pack.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With Rick Scott turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that he'll end this pain
But it's my destiny to be the King of Spain

FlownOver May 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm

He shoots ––– he Stings!

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

On top of that, he's doing that offensive American tourist thing of talking extra-loudly and gesturing as though he's talking to a child, as though somehow that will help the "foreigner" understand him.

I'm reminded of Dubya's trip to Spain, where he called the Prime Minister "Anzar" instead of "Aznar," only to elicit a comment in the Spanish press that it was a miracle Bush hadn't called him "Arnaz."

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Or said, "Hey Loooosy, I'm hooooome!"

HippieEsq May 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

I lived in Spain for many years, and the high-brow phrase for this kind of idiocy is:

"que bobo tonto. vale."

miss_grundy May 24, 2012 at 6:05 pm

In good Cuban slang, it would be "que comemierda".

HippieEsq May 25, 2012 at 2:14 am

I love that phrase/insult too, even though it reminds me of a dog I once knew that always got into the kitty litter….

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Why the fuck is the King of Spain even in the same zip code as Rick Scott?

fuflans May 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

was thinking the very same thing.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I wonder what Jeb Bush would have said to King Carlos.

WhatTheHeck May 24, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Spain might want to consider reoccupying Florida so they could once again implement the “Spanish Inquisition” upon hapless fools.

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 8:29 pm

We tried already, the Spaniards just laughed and said "Fuck you, the check cleared. We're not taking it back."

niblick77 May 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Scott did it on purpose because the King's first language was not English. It just comes natural to people like Scott to degrade others that are not like them.

Callyson May 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Scott apparently didn’t understand that the King didn’t want to talk about the trip, and keeps blabbing on about it.

Now the King knows how we Americans feel when the Reeps blather on about economic issues, or foreign affairs, or…oh, hell, about AOTK…

dijetlo May 24, 2012 at 4:13 pm

To which the king replied
"Usted resembe un escroto recién afeitado, señor Ducha Boquilla.".

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

O, "Su cabeza se asemeja a un testículo del elefante"

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Rick Scott's in Spain, eh? The upside is that Baltasar Garzón can order him arrested and tried for the crime of "Look, there must be something".

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 4:16 pm

On the one hand, it's crap like this that makes the world (rightfully) see us Americans as incompetent idiots. But on the other hand, why the hell does Spain still have a monarchy?

HippieEsq May 24, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Someone has to sit in the VIP Box at the bullfights, that's why!

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm

It was a kind of compromise, actually quite a spectacular feat on Juan Carlos's part. He was the hereditary king (not a title that had mattered much for some time) and as Franco's time came drawing to a close, Franco had the idea that he wanted to be succeeded by a monarchy, which would mean Juan Carlos. Juan-Carlos discussed issues of the future of Spain extensively with Franco, but kept mum on the fact that J-C wanted it to become a democracy as soon as possible, with him as at most a figurehead. He became king upon Franco's death in 1975 and within two years, Spain had free parliamentary elections including parties that had been outlawed in Franco's time.

Carlos turned the control of the country over to the elected government and remained a mostly ceremonial monarch. But there were still a lot of Falangists around, and many were highly placed in the armed forces. They liked the authoritarian state just fine, and were none too happy with King J-C for his clever moves. A coup was launched in 1981, the democratic leaders arrested, etc. The coup failed largely because J-C went on TV and made an impassioned speech for the preservation of the democratic government, and the word of the king meant a lot to Falangists and monarchists who were on the fence about the coup.

So he's really a national hero, and de-kinging him would be kind of unsporting.

FlownOver May 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Also there's a space in the crypt at El Escorial that's standing empty, just waiting for him.

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Thanks for the cool history lesson. You have to love a guy who sticks it to a Nazi loving bastard like Franco.

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 1:40 am

Why not? The Netherlands have one, Norway, Sweden, etc. What do they need one for?

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 4:17 pm

I didn't watch the video. Did he talk real loud and slowly?

owhatever May 24, 2012 at 4:33 pm

So these king asked, "What happened to the Florida Gators in football last year.? Everybody in Botswana was talking about how the team choked in the big games. You guys learn how to count votes yet? How about Treyvon?"

TootsStansbury May 24, 2012 at 4:47 pm

A national embarrassment. But a hilarious national embarrassment! I remember about the elephant shooting monarch; who the fuck shoots elephants?!

richmx2 May 24, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Kings

Beowoof May 24, 2012 at 5:41 pm

How did this guy wind up being able to steal millions and not wind up as pass around Rick in the big house?

Spurning Beer May 24, 2012 at 8:13 pm

1. Medicare fraud is a victimless crime, like smothering a hobo.

2. IOKIYAR

bibliotequetress May 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Sadly, we have missed the window of opportunity when Rick Scott could have been introduced to PM Silvio Berlusconi.

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 6:04 pm

King Carlos then introduced Scott to a Flamenco Dance who found a suitable stage on that enormous forehead.

fuflans May 24, 2012 at 6:18 pm

yeah but obama thinks there's 57 states.

not that Radio May 24, 2012 at 10:01 pm

And he ate a dog.

radio-of-owls May 24, 2012 at 10:36 pm

Have you seen his middle name?!?!

richmx2 May 24, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Well, unlike a certain Florida Governor, I didn't make a complete idiot of myself the one and only time I met King Juan-Carlos (sort of accidentally… I was surrounded by elderly Spaniards in a crowd in Mexico City, and happened to be wearing a red and yellow tie — the Spanish national colors — so the King thought I was the old ladies' chaparone or something), greeting him with a semi-tacky "¡Mucho gusto!"… OK, so I don't show proper deference to royalty… at least I addressed the King in his own language, and didn't go out of my way to act like a clueless moron.

horsedreamer_1 May 24, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Guess we cannot pawn La Florida back to 'em, now.

DahBoner May 24, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I wonder how the negotiations went to open Rick's Hillbilly Heroin drive-in's went???

AlaskaGrrl May 24, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Ooooooh, Veep material! Are ya' listening Mittens?

bikerlaureate May 24, 2012 at 8:01 pm

“You just went to find elephants. You’re all elephant-lovers right? Elephants! Oh, that’s great.”

Wile E. Barbote May 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

King Juan Carlos should have exercised Droit du Seigneur on Governor Batboy's wife and daughters and then had Batboy thrown into a dungeon for the crime of lèse-majesté and then topped it off by singing his own rap song, "Damn it Feels Good to be a Kingster".

Guppy May 24, 2012 at 8:03 pm

But did Rick Scott bow?

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 1:27 am

Keep fuckin' them gators, Scott.

Elephants never forget, not even ones like Scott.

ttommyunger May 25, 2012 at 6:25 am

Well, at least he didn't try to give the Queen a neck massage……No, wait!

TribecaMike May 25, 2012 at 5:34 pm

At least he didn't enter the room dressed in full matador regalia singing "Besame Mucho."

FlownOver May 24, 2012 at 5:50 pm

All the children smile (see later Mitt/Philly post).

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