finally he's good for something

Spain Takes Break From Economic Woes to Laugh at Rick Scott

Does Sacha Baron Cohen need a comedy sidekick?

Perennial top contender for America’s most fervently incompetent governor Rick Scott is working hard for the title even on a trade mission to Spain: He managed to earn immediate ridicule from the country’s 47 million residents within actual seconds of meeting the King of Spain. He’s efficient! King Juan Carlos has lately been in hot water for taking a fancy elephant-murdering trip to Botswana while the country’s economy shrivels under a banking crisis and a 24% unemployment rate, so much so that he issued a first-ever public apology for his actions. This provided a no-fail comedy setup for Florida’s dipstick governor, whose first words upon meeting the king were, “I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.” Don’t stop there, Rick! (He doesn’t.)

This is what a king looks like when he wants to slap the person whose hand he is shaking:

From the Miami New Times:

Scott apparently didn’t understand that the King didn’t want to talk about the trip, and keeps blabbing on about it. Scott asks that King how he was injured, and talks about his own travels to Botswana. Scott’s wife Annette begins talking about how they were in a Jeep that was being chased by elephants in Botswana, and that she wished that the King had been in the Jeep with them. The last thing the King wants right now is to be back in Botswana.

The King meanwhile kept shaking other people’s hands as the Scott blabbed on about Botswana.

The incident has become fodder in the Spanish press, and El Intermedio, something sort of like the Spanish version of The Daily Show, lampooned the exchange.

Your move, Jan Brewer. [Miami New Times Blogs]

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      1. V572 Is this him?

        Enngnnghh…Orwell didn't like doing it. Just had to. The same way we had to invade Iraq once we got everything ginned up to do so.

        Which was exactly Orwell's point, only more eloquently made.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    ♫ Allllllllll night
    He was the ugly American♪
    (Ugly American, Ugly American)

  2. coolhandnuke

    …“I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.”

    Good to hear Rick is keeping his lust in the tribe…the rentboys must be Repugs.

      1. coolhandnuke

        Gots to be since it takes a whole heaping foundation of Stand Your Ground when you've snagged a big one.

    1. biblioteq_tress

      …“I’ve ridden elephants. I’ve never tried to shoot one.”

      Presumably none of them have attempted to out him yet.

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    It's good to be king and have your own world
    It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
    A sweet little queen who can't run away
    It's good to be king, whatever it pays

  4. nounverb911

    "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know."

    –King Juan Carlos

    1. Come here a minute

      You know how it is — somebody says don't mention elephants, and all you can talk about is elephants.

    2. Gainsbourg69

      Rick Scott is an idiot, but I'm kind of glad he embarrassed that elephant murderer.

  5. actor212

    It's interesting that Juan Carlos didn't question him further on his own ethics scandal.

    No one expects the Spanish Inquisition…

  6. PuckStopsHere

    He probably went to Spain for advice on how to get Florida's jobless rate up to 24% too.

  7. timbo71351

    Hard to believe that a crooked businessman would do something embarrasing in front of a head of state.

  8. Mahousu

    Scott then told the king how much he loved Spanish food, like tacos and chimichangas.

  9. Barbikovovich

    For those who didn't read the linked article, it contains this treat:

    Note to Gov. Scott: while on diplomatic missions, do not talk about foreign dignitary's recent scandals.

    It's like if someone greeted Scott with the line, "I've ridden high speed rail. I've never tried to kill it," or "I've run a company before. I've never had it subjected to the largest fraud settlement in my country's history."

  10. Lascauxcaveman

    Jack Link's Beef Jerky : Messin' with Saquatch :: Rick Scott : Messin' with the King of Spain

    1. Wile E. Barbote

      Yeah, but the elephants were really, really drunk at the time and regretted it the next morning.

  11. YasserArraFeck

    I think "Shooting the Elephant" could be the political equivalent of "Jumping the Shark" – the moment when any respect that a pol may have garnered just….evaporates, as the public realize that he/she really is a fuckwit. For example, when did Snowbillie shoot the elephant? Her "AOTK" interview? When she described AK's proximity to Russia as "foreign policy experience"? Her debate winkfest?

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      We really need to breed sharks that can jump higher. Much of this pain wouldn't have even happened.

  12. Barbikovovich

    It's a shame the conversation got cut off before Scott got to ask the King if it is true what they say about Spanish Fly.

    1. YasserArraFeck

      "So, Mr. Carlos……Juan…..where can a guy get some of that spanish fly shit? A….uh… friend asked me to bring some back for him……."

  13. MiniMencken

    Reminds me of the first time Chet Baker met in Italy with the jazz pianist Romano Mussolini, youngest son of Benito. Baker's unforgettable conversation opener: "Bummer about your old man."

  14. Nostrildamus

    "Scott’s wife Annette begins talking about … being chased by elephants …"

    Today we are all Annette Scott.

  15. BaldarTFlagass

    I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
    With Rick Scott turning circles running 'round my brain
    I guess I'm always hoping that he'll end this pain
    But it's my destiny to be the King of Spain

  16. OneYieldRegular

    On top of that, he's doing that offensive American tourist thing of talking extra-loudly and gesturing as though he's talking to a child, as though somehow that will help the "foreigner" understand him.

    I'm reminded of Dubya's trip to Spain, where he called the Prime Minister "Anzar" instead of "Aznar," only to elicit a comment in the Spanish press that it was a miracle Bush hadn't called him "Arnaz."

  17. HippieEsq

    I lived in Spain for many years, and the high-brow phrase for this kind of idiocy is:

    "que bobo tonto. vale."

      1. HippieEsq

        I love that phrase/insult too, even though it reminds me of a dog I once knew that always got into the kitty litter….

  18. WhatTheHeck

    Spain might want to consider reoccupying Florida so they could once again implement the “Spanish Inquisition” upon hapless fools.

    1. Wile E. Barbote

      We tried already, the Spaniards just laughed and said "Fuck you, the check cleared. We're not taking it back."

  19. niblick77

    Scott did it on purpose because the King's first language was not English. It just comes natural to people like Scott to degrade others that are not like them.

  20. Callyson

    Scott apparently didn’t understand that the King didn’t want to talk about the trip, and keeps blabbing on about it.

    Now the King knows how we Americans feel when the Reeps blather on about economic issues, or foreign affairs, or…oh, hell, about AOTK…

  21. dijetlo

    To which the king replied
    "Usted resembe un escroto recién afeitado, señor Ducha Boquilla.".

  22. Barbikovovich

    Rick Scott's in Spain, eh? The upside is that Baltasar Garzón can order him arrested and tried for the crime of "Look, there must be something".

  23. MissTaken

    On the one hand, it's crap like this that makes the world (rightfully) see us Americans as incompetent idiots. But on the other hand, why the hell does Spain still have a monarchy?

    1. Barbikovovich

      It was a kind of compromise, actually quite a spectacular feat on Juan Carlos's part. He was the hereditary king (not a title that had mattered much for some time) and as Franco's time came drawing to a close, Franco had the idea that he wanted to be succeeded by a monarchy, which would mean Juan Carlos. Juan-Carlos discussed issues of the future of Spain extensively with Franco, but kept mum on the fact that J-C wanted it to become a democracy as soon as possible, with him as at most a figurehead. He became king upon Franco's death in 1975 and within two years, Spain had free parliamentary elections including parties that had been outlawed in Franco's time.

      Carlos turned the control of the country over to the elected government and remained a mostly ceremonial monarch. But there were still a lot of Falangists around, and many were highly placed in the armed forces. They liked the authoritarian state just fine, and were none too happy with King J-C for his clever moves. A coup was launched in 1981, the democratic leaders arrested, etc. The coup failed largely because J-C went on TV and made an impassioned speech for the preservation of the democratic government, and the word of the king meant a lot to Falangists and monarchists who were on the fence about the coup.

      So he's really a national hero, and de-kinging him would be kind of unsporting.

      1. Wile E. Barbote

        Thanks for the cool history lesson. You have to love a guy who sticks it to a Nazi loving bastard like Franco.

    2. Negropolis

      Why not? The Netherlands have one, Norway, Sweden, etc. What do they need one for?

  24. owhatever

    So these king asked, "What happened to the Florida Gators in football last year.? Everybody in Botswana was talking about how the team choked in the big games. You guys learn how to count votes yet? How about Treyvon?"

  25. TootsStansbury

    A national embarrassment. But a hilarious national embarrassment! I remember about the elephant shooting monarch; who the fuck shoots elephants?!

  26. Beowoof

    How did this guy wind up being able to steal millions and not wind up as pass around Rick in the big house?

  27. bibliotequetress

    Sadly, we have missed the window of opportunity when Rick Scott could have been introduced to PM Silvio Berlusconi.

  28. James Michael Curley

    King Carlos then introduced Scott to a Flamenco Dance who found a suitable stage on that enormous forehead.

  29. richmx2

    Well, unlike a certain Florida Governor, I didn't make a complete idiot of myself the one and only time I met King Juan-Carlos (sort of accidentally… I was surrounded by elderly Spaniards in a crowd in Mexico City, and happened to be wearing a red and yellow tie — the Spanish national colors — so the King thought I was the old ladies' chaparone or something), greeting him with a semi-tacky "¡Mucho gusto!"… OK, so I don't show proper deference to royalty… at least I addressed the King in his own language, and didn't go out of my way to act like a clueless moron.

  30. DahBoner

    I wonder how the negotiations went to open Rick's Hillbilly Heroin drive-in's went???

    1. bikerlaureate

      “You just went to find elephants. You’re all elephant-lovers right? Elephants! Oh, that’s great.”

  31. Wile E. Barbote

    King Juan Carlos should have exercised Droit du Seigneur on Governor Batboy's wife and daughters and then had Batboy thrown into a dungeon for the crime of lèse-majesté and then topped it off by singing his own rap song, "Damn it Feels Good to be a Kingster".

  32. Negropolis

    Keep fuckin' them gators, Scott.

    Elephants never forget, not even ones like Scott.

  33. TribecaMike

    At least he didn't enter the room dressed in full matador regalia singing "Besame Mucho."

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