LET'S HAVE A WAR  1:22 pm May 24, 2012

‘BudgetTravel.com’ Joins War On Christians

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Hello, it is called "science"!Quick, everybody! To the Youtube version of the Book of Leviticus! There, you can listen about what kind of extra-virgin olive oil to anoint yourself with while you scatter the ashes of BudgetTravel.com’s charred corpse! But why are you sacrificing Budget Travel to your cruel and vengeful Yahweh? Oh, only because it hates all Christians, and Jesus, and YOU. It held an online poll asking what beloved American landmarks every kid should see by the time s/he is 15, and the Creation Museum in Kentucky (where else?) totally came in first, but then Budget Travel did not include it in its blog post or whatever, because it doesn’t think the Creation Museum has “universal appeal.” AS IF. Like it is not a fact universally appealing that the world is 6,000 years old, and Noah rode a dinosaur to his job at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company!

Noting the company explanation that the Creation Museum did not fit into a “universal appeal” profile, the ministry said, “We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum. And while we never discourage parents from taking their children to museums such as the number two choice on Budget Travel’s list – the Field Museum of Chicago, home of ‘the biggest Tyrannosaurus rex fossil ever dug up’ – we do suggest they go armed with a bucketful of discernment.”

But such blatant Oppression of Christians is not the only reason you should be SO MAD at Budget Travel! Let us see what kind of godless places did make their list! The US Space and Rocket Center? “Science.” Hawaii’s Volcanoes National Park? Heathens. The Metropolitan Museum of Art? New York and Jews. Hoover Dam? Taxes and big government “solving” all our problems! Museum of Science? SCIENCE IS RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME! The Birmingham Civil Rights Center AND the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library & Museum? If God didn’t want black people to be slaves, he wouldn’t have sent the children of Ham to be slaves, it is right there in the Bible, HELLO.

In conclusion, BudgetTravel.com has infringed on the Creation Museum’s First Amendment right to be in its list of universally appealing things that all children should see, so please take your children to Kentucky at once, or else you are some kind of Jew, the end.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 199 comments }

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Why aren't those velociraptors eating young Jeebus?

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Because they can't see him – Jeebus exists in our imagination!!

Oblios_Cap May 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Jebus is a young Blah girl?

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Maybe the Mohel over snipped.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Apparently not. Look at the squirrel. Sure looks hungry for His nuts…

OneDollarJuana May 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

That explains the lack of any Jesus kids.

WIDTAP May 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Clearly not. Jesus was a blue-eyed, squared-jawed Norwegian. Haven't you seen the pictures?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:01 pm

Who knew?

Barbikovovich May 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Three days later they're hungry again.

nounverb911 May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Jeebus was Chinese?

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

No, it takes three days for them to upchuck him.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Too gamey.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Too scammy

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 1:37 pm

They're already stuffed with manna?

Serolf_Divad May 24, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Before the fall of man, dinosaurs were pretty much the main way pre-diluvian adolescents lost their virginity. It was only after that the dinosaurs started eating everyone. And then the flood came and killed the dinosaurs (thank God!)

LettucePrey May 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

No, dinosaurs were made extinct in the Middle Ages, when they breathed fire and were hunted by knights. This is what happens when a new scientific discovery has to be hastily explained and squeezed into the creationist myth. Damn those nosy, faithless scientists, and Michael Crichton, also, too!

V572 Is this him? May 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Which is why hunting is a sacred right and an obligation, guaranteed by the Second Amendment, as everyone knows.

Steverino247 May 24, 2012 at 2:05 pm

CLOACA LIBEL!!!

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Neal Horsley? Is that you again?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Pre-diluvian adolescent WHAT?

Somehow I don't find the idea of being rogered by a raptor all that appealing.

mull_man May 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Because, as everyone knows, velociraptors are jews, do not understand transfiguration, and cannot receive communion. That, or the boy is too big to dunk in the chalice of sacramental wine.

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 2:35 pm

velociraptors are jews

Let's just hope none of them are mohels.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:22 pm

It's not easy to calculate such microscopic differences in size, yaknow.

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm

The tragic actual answer is because before the Fall of Man, dinosaurs (and everything else) were all vegetarians, even though nothing in the Bible even hints at suggesting that.

MoeDeLawn May 24, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Sheesh! Don't you get it?
It's not what's in the Bible – it's what these douches say is in the Bible. Stop reading it closely looking for hints!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Apart from everything else, why a peoples who has survived for over a hundred centuries should choose to be guided, in its current technological stage of development by the myths of a bunch of goatherders from the nomadic stage of its development over TWENTY CENTURIES OLD is beyond me. We've learned a few things since those guys were running around chasing goats in the desert, doods.

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Honestly I'm pretty sure even bronze-age goatherders knew what a carnivore's jawbone looks like.

That's right: creationists are pretty sure that God Intelligently Designed vegetarian velociraptors with no anatomy suited to eating plants.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Oy, gevalt, oy vey is mir.

Dashboard Buddha May 24, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I was going to say there's a velociraptor and the velociraptor's lunch.

extreme_left May 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Everybody knows Velociraptors were alright around kids as long as they were given plenty of love.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm

No, that's pit bulls, you mixed 'em up.

Velociraptors eat kid's faces. It's what they do.

anniegetyerfun May 24, 2012 at 11:59 pm

But can you put lipstick on one and take it to a hockey game?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 25, 2012 at 12:09 am

Sure, if she's done noshing on the kid. I mean, if she's still eating face, she might take yer arm off.

ChilLysol May 24, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Do they sell Gay Marriage trips to the moon?

Blueb4sunrise May 24, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Whoa. Trippy!

Maman May 24, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Why don't wingnut Xtians make their own XtianBudgetTravel? oh, right…. you need to know some math and science to code.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm

INFINITE MONKEYS AT INFINITE KEYBOARDS LIBEL!

OneDollarJuana May 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm

They oughta make their own XtianBudgetAirlines. No expensive mechanics needed, because they'll be flying on a wing and a prayer, and prayer is free.

Jus_Wonderin May 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

That probably takes some knowledge of geography and a will to travel further than their church on Sunday.

Fairtackle May 24, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Do they have an animatronic talking snake? That would be sweet.

dijetlo May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

You mean other than Mitt?

noodlesalad May 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

winner. close the thread. Although I don't think Mitt Romney could tempt me to eat anything, let alone vote for him.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Dude, you think too lowly of Mitt. Mitt is the guy who squeezes all the oil out of the snake and sells THAT to you.

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Chuck E. Jesus?

tihond May 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm

What does that picture of Chris Bosh and a native have to do with this story?

FlownOver May 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm

So all you God-fearing blahs send your young'uns here ASAP – we're prepared to arrest at least 2,000 of them.

Schmannnity May 24, 2012 at 1:28 pm

As Moses said, Yabba Dabba Doo.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm

COTD!

No…week!

Steverino247 May 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I thought that was Weird Al who said that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtV_nQKhkdY

RedneckMuslin May 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Needs more snakes.

metamarcisf May 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Actually, the Creation museum SHOULD be first. Provided all visitors are equipped with a tab of windowpane on admission.

Designer_Radio May 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'm sure there would be lots of alternating hilarity and terror.

FraAnima May 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Talk about a bad trip.

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 2:40 pm

The exhibits might be pretty amusing, but I think the patrons would send me solidly into "scream and run away" territory.

FraAnima May 24, 2012 at 2:54 pm

After several benign purple microdot and Mr. Natural excursions, I took a significantly bad trip at a lovely friend's party courtesy of windowpane. I don't even want to THINK about the horrors that would be revealed at the Creation Museum.

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Legions of angry, inbred Sta-Puft Marshmallow Monsters gathered like the brooms in Fantasia? Giving you the stink-eye for any reaction other than awe and reverence? What could possibly go wrong?

Thanks, no. I'd rather repeat nearly being pushed off of a 1500 foot cliff while tripping balls.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I'd be happy to go just for the acid.

Callyson May 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

So, the top vote getter was not selected?

Yeah, what a scandal: this is totally equivalent to Bush v Gore…

Oblios_Cap May 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

“We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum.

$arah? Is that you?

That is quite probably the largest magnitude case of projection that I have ever beheld.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Srsly. (Rolls eyes, spraining both)

TootsStansbury May 24, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I laughed when I first saw this statement and then found it very disturbing. The level of insanity required, wow.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 6:13 pm

It's almost as if these people are too ignorant to realize that there is such a thing as an objective TRUTH, a set of facts to which we all are bound to agree regardless of our feelings on the matter. You know, like the age of the universe, or our planet, or the theory of evolution or the laws of physics.

They're so very deeply ignorant that if they ever take over the reins of power, we're in for a wild, if short, ride.

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Oh, I dunno. Thinking about the Creation Museum does encourage me to go critical.

CarbonDating May 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Hey Second Amendment rights too, what with Jethro and Jesus ARMED with bucketfuls off discernment.

sharethegrief May 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Creationists call these chamber pots.

smashedinhat May 24, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Can't they put an impenetrable dome over this place already? In a 100 years or so there will be a fairly sizeable population of escaped zoo chimps or something that we can better relate to.

Come here a minute May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Did they ever think that maybe one of the reasons is not everyone has an unlimited amount of money to spend on the super high cost of travel to fancy destinations such as Petersburg, Kentucky? BUDGET is right in the name!

RedneckMuslin May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

"We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum"

Their thinking is to be very critical of evolutionists.

freakishlywrong May 24, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Pretty soon they'll be calling us "factists"

freakishlywrong May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I'd have to be drunk, high and tripping to get through the creationist museum. I'd probably pee on an exhibit.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I think wandering through the Creationist Museum hammered would be quite entertaining – kind of like Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 3D

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I get giggly, so I'd probably have to go straight. Or watch a funeral just before entering.

rickmaci May 24, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Walking around looking dumbstruck, giggling and saying over and over, "Are you shitting me with this, it's a joke, right?", will probably get you run out of the exhibits.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:01 pm

We could go together. I'll bring bags of dog poo we can light and place at each exhibit. Sort of a tribute to each. An offering in keeping with the high quality of their contribution to the state of education and science in this nation.

Generation[redacted] May 24, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Silly tourists, the Bible is the only travel guide you'll ever need! It has maps and a diagram of the Noah's flood gates and everything.

Fairtackle May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

OOh, they have a planetarium! I really want to see the flat earth with the sun and planets revolving around it.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm

It's the only single-story planetarium in the country

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

And the telescope points down

LettucePrey May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Truth be told, I kind of want to visit the Creation Museum, for lulz. In the photos, Adam looks like the bass player in a Janis Joplin tribute band, and Eve is a demure little fox who could be Juliet in a Guatemalan school play. Her long hair is (of course) glued over her perky breasts and Adam’s got his as-yet-unnecessary junk behind a fig speedo. Oh, and he has a belly button. Whoopsie!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm

They don't think much, do they?

Geminisunmars May 24, 2012 at 7:50 pm

It was merely a decorative belly button.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 9:33 pm

You press it and nothing happens?

Geminisunmars May 25, 2012 at 10:24 am

Well, sometimes something falls out of the slot in the back.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 25, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Remind me to stay well IN FRONT of the creature when pressing.

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2012 at 12:02 am

For Display Purposes Only. Do Not Insert Objects Into Navel.

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Visitor: Sir, Adam has a navel? Why did you give Adam a navel if he was the first man?
Tour Guide: Uhn, Well God created Adam in his own image, just as we all are and you have a navel.
Visitor: If God crated Adam in his image, why does God have a navel?

littlebigdaddy May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Flintstones libel!

CommieLibunatic May 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

No, fuck Flintstones. Not only unfunny, but now people are treating it like it's a documentary.

Baconzgood May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

"critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum"

*spit take* BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAAAHHA……..HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA….HAHAHAHAHA…

That's rich.

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

“We are certainly aware many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum."

Oh. So just a minor variation on X = DefinitelyNot(X)

IE: Critical Thinking = (Believe Us Cuz We Say So. And jeebus, also)

coolhandnuke May 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The creators of Flinstone's Chewable Vitamins made the executive decision to not include vitamins of Betty Rubble in their product for fear that kids would proudly and wickedly claim "I'm eating Betty Rubble."

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

What about Wilma?

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:37 pm

She was cherry flavored!

MrFizzy May 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Strapped to the roof of a car probably.

OneDollarJuana May 24, 2012 at 2:00 pm

And Betty's the one we'd all eat first. Wilma, not so much.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

The "bucketful of discernment" can be purchased from the gift shop, which is suspiciously located next to the manger with the live farm animals.

noodlesalad May 24, 2012 at 1:33 pm

I think my children would have more than a few critical thoughts if I brought them to the Creation Museum. Like "Why aren't we at Six Flags?" or "Is that drooling man in trouble or just being raptured?" and "Why are those cousins married?"

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

"Why is Jesus a white man?"

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

"Daaaad. This place sucks!!! I'd rather go visit Aunt Mabel than this shit!"

bumfug May 24, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I'm surprised the ministry spokesperson's keyboard didn't burst into flames just from typing the words "critical thinking".

ManchuCandidate May 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones.
They're the stone age fundie family.
From the state of Kentucky,
They're a page right out of Insanity.

Let's fly with the family down the street.
In a jet powered by Jeebus' miracle feet.

When you visit the Flintstones
you'll have a Fundie brain melting time.
A brain melting time.
You'll have a gay (not that gay) old time.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Of course it wasn't included.

It's in fucking Kentucky! You know, the ass-half of "Pennsyltucky" everyone kids about.

plinthic May 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Plus also, Creation Museum won in an ONLINE POLL which we all know is way more scientific than some smart-ass liberal Census Bureau random sample.

Geminisunmars May 24, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Is children of Ham, Baconz?

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Hmmm

There's a LIBEL!!!1! in there somewhere.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Noah had three sons: Japeth, Shem, and Ham

We know them as Moe, Larry, and Bacon, who is also known as the Curse of Ham. also called Baconnaise.

Baconzgood May 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

ME LIBEL!!!!!!!

WhatTheHeck May 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

If I were you, I’d be sizzling.

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

BACONZ!

Nice hit – over the fence and long gone!

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Yeah, and we can't have THAT because BACONZGOOD!

I've always wanted to say that.

semangeloph May 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I actually see their point. They won the contest, why should they get excluded. It's not like the Field Museum in Chicago has 'universal appeal,' whatever that means. I'm sure there are quite a few people that would find a trip to a Natural History museum to be completely unappealing.

veritass May 24, 2012 at 1:38 pm

I plan to take my kids to the Creation Museum someday. It will be part of my parenting series on "Pointing and Laughing in Public."

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

You could follow it up with a visit here: http://www.holylandexperience.com/

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Meh. Looks too Jewish.

Jebus, that is.

Butch_Wagstaff May 24, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Ah yes. Another part of the Trinity Broadcasting Network/Jan Crouch Wig Empire.

George Skullfry May 24, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Why are Horse and Lion humping the logo?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:06 pm

You might need a squad of Wonketteerz bodyguards. I recommend Steverino. Not too many folks want to argue with a 6' 8" Marine.

James Michael Curley May 24, 2012 at 10:18 pm

You womens, always measuring.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Just an old size queen, hon. But the ladies tell me it ain't the angle of the dangle, it's the swing of the thing.

rickmaci May 24, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Is it correct to call a place dedicated to enshrining and preserving ignorance a "museum"? We used to call that church.

imissopus May 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Or Congress.

LettucePrey May 24, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"…many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum"

Right. According to Genesis, on the first day, God created light. Then, on the third day, God created the sun. Is this the kind of skepticism they're referring to?

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Also The LORD created fish and birds on one day, then land animals on the next day. That the fossil record disputes this is proof that nature is just a pack of lies.

chicken_thief May 24, 2012 at 2:07 pm

"…on the first day, God created light…"

THOMAS EDISON LIBELZ!!!!

MarionNYNY May 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

The Creation Museum — brought to you by the people who believe that The Flintstones was a documentary, and that Fred and Wilma are burning in hell because they were pre-Jeebus.

prommie May 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Chees mang, don you know no bible shit? Jesus saved all the souls before him at the time of his crucifixion. It was retroactive, man.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Wut, rly? So all the little innocent baybeez who suffered for eons through Purgatory, pouf, Jebus dies and they all go straight to Heaven? Does anyone EVER EXPLAIN IT TO THEM? Huh? Anybody? Or do they just sit there wondering what the fuck happened, here I was all suffering and what not for ten thousand or a hundred thousand years and suddenly I have wings and a little harp?

doloras May 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

One would assume Jesus would explain it to them, if he weren't so busy hiding from his fan club.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Hon, if you had his fan club, you'd be hiding too.

Andrew Drinker May 24, 2012 at 1:46 pm

"critical thinking"

I don't think that term means what you think it means.

Baconzgood May 24, 2012 at 1:47 pm

MOST SCIENTIFICALLY INCORECT DIORAMA EVAR!!!!!!!!

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'm gonna make a diorama of me going to the Creation Museum and looking at their super-accurate dioramas. It will be awesome.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 24, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Pix or tits or GTFO.

SayItWithWookies May 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

BudgetTravel responds: "As a travel company, we still believe exposure to the wide world should make people smarter, not dumber — therefore we've excluded shrines to ignorance from our list of places to go. If you want to get dumber, you can do it far more cheaply than going to the Creation Museum (which charges $25 admission, if you can believe that) by sitting at home and hitting yourself in the head with a hammer."

johnnyzhivago May 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

People paying $25 to see this crap is actually the strongest case AGAINST evolution I've seen.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Maybe the Budget Travel people figured out that a bunch of Christians came to their poll and filled in Creation Museum there. Kinda like how Colbert got a bridge named after him in Budapest. There's a name for doing that but I just woke up from a short desk nap and am a little fuzzy right now.

actor212 May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

FReeping?

johnnyzhivago May 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Or some idiot sat there clicking "VOTE" several thousand times.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I knew there was a name for it.

OldWhiteLies May 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Needs moar PZ Myers!

SorosBot May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Um, Christians, the creation "museum" is AGAINST critical thinking, and in fact thinking in general.

prommie May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

So who organized the bible-tards to stuff that online ballot box? Fucking bumblefuck assholes are ruining this country in every way, great and small.

CrunchyKnee May 24, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Why did they put a likeness of Joey Ramone in that diorama?

widestanceromance May 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

?/cuz they didn't listen to NPR this morning?

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2012 at 12:14 am

HA! Was gonna say that.

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I would totally go to the Creation Museum if (unlikely) I ever happened to find myself anywhere near it. I'd offer them a Bible in exchange for free admission. If they didn't accept it, I'd just have to adopt Satan as my savior.

DahBoner May 24, 2012 at 1:51 pm

"The boy who touched the president’s hair"

We got your bucketful of discernment right here in our moonshine jug…

THIS IS NOT IN THE BIBLE! COMING TO YOUR INBOX? SOON!?? 1!!! 1!!!!

freakishlywrong May 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm

WWKODWJR? What kind of Dinosaur would Jebus Ride?

Jus_Wonderin May 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Are there white dinosaurs?

freakishlywrong May 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Jesus, stupid. WKODWJR. For Chrissakes.

niblick77 May 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm

"critical thinking" – oh, thank you, I just got a layoff notice and I needed a good laugh!

Nostrildamus May 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

"… we do suggest they go armed with a bucketful of discernment.”

Uhhh, that's not discernment.

StealthMuslin May 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Eff you, BudgetTravel.com! The Creation Museum has the best glory holes in America!

Stevola May 25, 2012 at 2:00 am

Glory hole-aleullah!

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I don't think they understand what a 'museum' is supposed to be.

HogeyeGrex May 24, 2012 at 2:47 pm

I don't think "museum" is alone in that category.

__kth__ May 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Budgettravel.com deserves to die for having a freepable online poll. Also for not notifying Wonkette, so we could run up the score for the Bunny Ranch, Scores, Plato's Retreat, and other such wholesome places.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Whoever put that exhibit pictured at top together for the Science Fair—it's pretty obvious that your parents helped, and also you'd better hope Richard Dawkins isn't one of the judges.

widestanceromance May 24, 2012 at 1:55 pm

WTF kind of parent would take a child to Kentucky?

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 2:03 pm

The kind that goes "Well, kid – this is where you could end up if you don't work hard and get into a good school…"

widestanceromance May 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I had not considered that the kids could see the social equivalent of dinosaur bones, so as long as they stay in the car with the doors and windows locked, it might be OK.

valgal2342 May 24, 2012 at 3:28 pm

1. The Creation Museum was "created" by an Australian! Damn Aussie wing nuts!
2. Kentucky is a beautiful state, we have some of the best camping, lakes, caves and outdoor adventure anywhere.
3. I guess you've never heard of the BOURBON TRAIL. Or the Kentucky BOURBON FESTIVAL. Ok, not for kiddies but the Slugger Museum is! The Frazier Arms Museum, (kids love weapons!) The Muhammad Ali Center, Mammoth Cave, the Largest Cave system in the world.
4. The Kentucky Derby Festival.
Ky has some of the greatest lakes for fishing, camping, sailing and water skiing.
How about the Land Between the Lakes in W. Ky? Amazing wildlife.
I love my state. We have our wing nuts and Teabagger morons like everyone else, but it's a beautiful state with lots of parks and outdoor adventure at affordable prices to get your damn rug rats off the couch and the techno shit out of their hands and outdoors for exercise, experiencing the natural world (science!) and much more.

widestanceromance May 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Whatever I said about some of the inhabitants does not, of course, apply to the natural world, which even in some hell-hole like Arizona, has a beauty mere mortals cannot approach.

extreme_left May 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Well it is important to see where kentucky fried chicken originates.

valgal2342 May 25, 2012 at 8:25 am

You would not believe the bus loads of Japanese people (and others from around the world) who come to London, KY just to see that! And the "World Chicken Festival" is a good one.

owhatever May 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm

I would go to visit the Creation Museum, but it's in Kentucky. Last non-white person who went in there was ground up into pancakes for a church social. I am white, but why take a chance?

valgal2342 May 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm

That's bullshit.

valgal2342 May 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I guess you would be too afraid to come visit the Muhammad Ali Center then huh?

BZ1 May 24, 2012 at 1:57 pm

creationists: critical thinking? doesn't jibe.

YasserArraFeck May 24, 2012 at 2:04 pm

creationists: critical thinking? doesn't jibe

WhatTheHeck May 24, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Jeeasus was a freemason. Lookee at that wall behind him. He was creative with Costco cement blocks.

Serolf_Divad May 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Christ, I thought we'd learned our lesson about online reader's polls by now.

Mahousu May 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

As someone on the Budget Travel site pointed out, Kentucky is also the site of Big Bone Lick. This is a much better place to take your kids. They'll definitely tell all their friends about it, especially if they are 11-year-old boys.

Or Wonkette commenters. But I repeat myself.

widestanceromance May 24, 2012 at 2:14 pm

If there's time, travel a little farther north to the Chesapeake Bay area, so they can see Assawoman Bay:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assawoman_Bay

elburritodeluxe May 24, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Some comments on their site:

I would be embarrassed to send my children to this circus masquerading as a museum. Ken Ham is a liar and a fool. – Jerry

Fantastic experience, great media displays and outdoor trails, thought-provoking, science and cultural examinations. Wonderful family and children field trip. We paid a small amount of money to have a behind the scenes dinosaur tour with Buddy Davis–it was outstanding! – Starr

"The exhibits are fantastic" Can't argue with that. – Glen Davidson

I can't wait till we can go back again. It's a great place for anyone at any age. – April Joyce

Ken Ham is a disgusting liar and everyone who believes what he says needs urgent psychological help. – hurrrr

Any resemblance to actual scientific facts is purely coincidental – Phil

HAHAHAHA! – Dan

I don't even believe this garbage! – Jesus

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Talked to an old college buddy of mine the other night; he is in the petroleum business and lives in Oklahoma City. He's pretty right wing when it comes to money (he is very good at finding oil and that = profits so he's a millionaire now), but he was telling me about how his 7th grade daughter got sideways with her science teacher about some facts and he had to meet with her, at which point the teacher told him that she was afraid that little Brooke was a *gasp* Darwinist! Teacher was even more horrified when he said "Damn straight, that's how I raised her." I told him he should look into pulling his girls out of OK public schools and send them to private school, since it appeared as though he could afford it. He said that up there in OK, private school means church school and that'd be even worse.

elburritodeluxe May 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Visitors, do not be alarmed by the minority sitting near our dinosaur. It is only a display.

DerrickWildcat May 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Hey you guys, Ken Ham is the dude behind the Creation Museum and Answersingenesis.com

He is super smart and he even has some fun and easy to understand videos.
http://www.answersingenesis.org/media/video/ondem

IonaTrailer May 24, 2012 at 2:09 pm

"…many evolutionists fear exposing children to the sort of critical thinking encouraged by a visit to the Creation Museum"

Bwah-hahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Especially that kind of critical thinking where you realize your family is nuts.

Beowoof May 24, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Did you mean creative thinking, cause there sure is a lot of made up nonsense in that "museum".

Warpde May 24, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Hey Creation Museum.
You want to see some critical thinking?
What do you get when you cross a T-Rex with Noah?
One critically dead ass Noah, that's what you get.

pdiddycornchips May 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Personally, I think if Jesus comes back, he'll do a week of sold out shows at the Cosmopolitan in Vegas, not some shit hole in Kentucky.

Beowoof May 24, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Charlie Pierce's description of the creation museum in Idiot America and they people that go there and take it seriously is not to be missed.

valthemus May 24, 2012 at 2:25 pm

If I get a government grant to start the Charles Darwin Museum of Gay Dinosaur Abortions, will all of Christendom implode?

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2012 at 12:21 am

It's possible, but more importantly, all of Wonketteland will probably visit, on a regular basis, and toast you.

chascates May 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Here's a cool photo tour of the place so you can watch the bizarro science at home: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scalzi/sets/72157603

Mumbly_Libel May 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Yeah, I don't see how a museum dedicated to one particularly hyper-literal interpretation of one religion's creation story, which not only contradicted by other elements of itself, but also by a middle-schooler's knowledge of biology, physics, geology, astronomy, chemistry, volume, or geography, could possibly be considered anything other than universal.

ttommyunger May 24, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"Creationist". That's the same as "making shit up out of thin air", right?

Eve8Apples May 24, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I think every parent should take their kids to the Creation Museum.

FIRST, the kids must read and comprehend Darwin's "On the Origin of Species." Then, the parent takes their kids to the Creation Museum and points and laughs at the bullshit exhibits. The parents explains to the kids that if you use meth, drink cheap, crappy liquor and don't do your homework, then you'll end up as stupid as the motherfuckers who built the Creation Museum.

occams8ball May 24, 2012 at 3:20 pm

The creation museum is one of very few field trips for the home schooled where the years spent protecting them from information won't be flushed down the toilet. Thanks to their parents paranoid stubbornness, these pitiable young adults will be left with no other options for higher education except perhaps bible college.

Scarletyoshi May 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Sample Critical Thinking Question:

Are they fucking serious?

RavenRant May 24, 2012 at 4:58 pm

So I'm "some kind of Jew" now? Great! It's gratifying to be a part of G-d's Chosen People.

When do I get initiated into the International Banking Conspiracy? Let's try and make it quick, because the cupboard is bare.

Schmegeg May 24, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Let's face it, if you are near Petersburg KY you are totally GOING to the Creation Museum.

Butch_Wagstaff May 24, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Their "Eve Was A Pill-popping, Abortion-Having Slut" exhibit is not to be missed!

justincasetoo May 24, 2012 at 11:20 pm

OK. So lets do some critical thinking:
a) God made the world in six days and six nights. Question: Why TF? What was the hurry? God as I understand has eternity at his disposal. Answer: We don't know but it says so in the Bible so it must be true.
b) The world and all in it were created just six thousand years ago. Q: How do you know? A: It say so in the Bible, so it must be true.
c) The Bible was written as individual books over a period of seven hundred years by different authors. Q: Why didn't God just talk through one person? After all its not such a long book. A: Don't know but you are not supposed to question God's ways.

So there you have it folks. The essence of Critical Thinking.

Are you sure yo'all won't change your minds and come see us in Kentucky? WE have all the answers!!!!!

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2012 at 12:16 am

Oh, nice of the creationist museum to have their marketing people stop by and register on Intense Debate in order to make a comment on Wonkette. Good on the rest of you for not feeding the (to be fair, very polite) troll. It's taking all of my effort not to snark on them directly.

Negropolis May 25, 2012 at 2:26 am

Hey, if they label it an amusement park, I'd be all right with it. 'Cause it ain't nothing more than entertainment and bad entertainment, at that.

MissTaken May 24, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Go to their website! They have a 'blog' with exciting topics like:
Always "Evolving" -What's New At The Creation Museum!
Homeschool Curriculum Fair
Dino Dig: Become a Paleontologist (for a Week!) http://creationmuseum.org/

Omigod this is precious.

BaldarTFlagass May 24, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Like I said, Oklahoma. It's like the 13th century, but with cars.

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