Ghost Of Breitbart Convinced That Obama Will Drop Out Of The Presidential Race

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ghostie knows best

Breitbart hologram Mike Flynn has been feeling the warm breeze of change that causes the flag of America to gently billow across his cheek, and also has been sifting through the history books, poring over some of the most improbable scenarios that have ever befallen America, and has decided that because history repeats itself, as long as that history is conservative-leaning, President Obama is completely going to drop out of the race the way Lyndon B. Johnson did in 1968, so weakened was LBJ by Senator McCarthy’s presidential efforts (which turned out so well)! It’s going to happen! Whoever takes Obama’s place, it does not matter, because the ensuing madness and weakness will ultimately portray Mitt Romney as a supreme being, much the way a fly looks supreme when standing next to a flea. This is a great theory. Flynn would just like to add another thing: Senator Eugene McCarthy was “a serious candidate running on an increasingly popular anti-war message.” Yes.

Here’s Flynn’s remarkable insight into the future:

In 1968, the political world was shocked when President Lyndon Johnson, running for reelection just four years after a landslide victory, was held beneath 50% of the vote in the Democrat primary in New Hampshire. Sen. Eugene McCarthy scored a shocking 41.5% of the vote against the incumbent President. The result confirmed Johnson’s weakness going into the November general election. Within weeks, Sen. Robert Kennedy announced he would seek the Democrat nomination for President and Johnson announced that he would not. LBJ was bowing out of his reelection bid.

ONE CAN DREAM.

Flynn goes on to describe the Obama campaign as “reeling” from his primary performances Arkansas and Kentucky. McCarthy, 1968′s “serious candidate,” provided some stiffer competition than Obama now faces in those states, and YET, let us be reminded that Obama was up against:

a guy in prison, an unknown lawyer, and, well, a ghost, essentially.

Ghost of AB?? Surely no. But in any case, this proves the president is a shithead.

I don’t think Obama will have the self-awareness of LBJ and drop out of the Presidential campaign. And, I certainly don’t believe the media will revisit their old contention that an incumbent president losing 40% of his own party’s vote is a sign of vulnerability. I expect they’ll sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t mean anything special.

Then Flynn gets SERIOUS WITH GRAMMAR.

But. It. Did. Happen.

Cool, continue to stomp your feet figuratively in WordPress, child! [Regrettably]

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Liz is a writer. She has written for this site, evidently, and also The Awl, The San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, The Economist and others. She is the author of a short story collection, Cover Story.

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