Do not fear, Miami Beach! Sure, lots and lots of African American youths are expected on your white sand shores for Memorial Day weekend, but luckily your PD is ready for them, and that is by instituting a “quota” mandating that its officers arrest a minimum of 2000 blahs! Nah nah nah says the police chief, Raymond Martinez, no quota nah! Or, more precisely, “I want to be clear, there is no arrest quota for Memorial Day weekend or any other day on Miami Beach.” But other people say that he is a lying liar.
Miami-Dade Commissioner Barbara Jordan said it is a form of racial profiling and being done “deliberately to kill Urban Beach Weekend.”
“The police chief can deny it all he wants, I’ve seen it in writing,” Jordan said.
Well, someone must be lying, because both things cannot simultaneously be true! We will go with it is Barbara Jordan who is lying, because she is named the same as that other Barbara Jordan, a known person of color. So she probably has some sort of agenda (to lie).
But does anyone else back up Ms. Jordan?
On Monday, union president Alejandro Bello wrote to chief Martinez, claiming that “numerous officers” reported a supervisor announcing the quota. Bello called the quota “patently unfair and unjust to both our officers and the community.”
Oh. But he sounds ‘Spanic! But so does the police chief! HOW ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO TO BELIEVE? Miami New Times has some letters, from dudes to the chief. It’s super weird and cognitively dissonant, but the police union down there seems to want to protect both its members and the black community. Huh?
What a weird police department. [MiamiNewTimes/Local10]
{ 86 comments }
Highly fappable, Editrix.
Self-portrait?
No, that's Ken Layne.
I always wondered what he'd look like without the beard. Now I know.
Can't be. It's not ginger.
I don't think that photo was taken in Miami. South Beach is topless, no?
Yes, although to be honest, with some of the bathing suits you see on the strip there you'd be hard-pressed to tell the difference.
I'm surprised they didn't make a special "stand your sand" law to make it easier to shoot the blah kids.
Apparently, they don't really need one, as it's plenty easy enough already.
Now now, come on. They wouldn't be doing their jobs if they weren't
cracking blah skulls in the name of Stand Your Ground and in honor of George Zimmermandetaining a few obstreperous youts.Only 2000?
Good grief! You want to them to bus blahs in to be arrested?
That can't be 2000 per officer, can it? That's 3.3 busts per minute. I can bullshit. (unless it means 2000 for all of the officers…but that sounds like bullshit too.)
That would take a serious chunk out of Donut Time…
CALL bullshit, call dammit. I'm surprised that the statement, "I can bullshit" wasn't met with a zillion comments of "yeah, db…tell us something we don't know."
Tribute to Jeb's purge of the voter roll in his brother's
usurpationelection?Drink all day
Play all night
Let's get arrested
I'm in Miami Jail, prick
Like a nigga don't care.
Here's an idea, non-whiteys— stay out of Miami! It sucks, anyway— unless you really refuse to let go of 1985. In that case you should probably go to jail all the same.
SHORTS!!!11!
It may not be the 'old' Shorts. Shorts the White instead of Shorts the Grey.
Shorts was only shorts (x3), and no pants. He's grown up maybe?
After extensive reconstructive surgery following the reading of this post, shortsthebrownx3 is fitting. It's just too embarrassing to be a cracker nowadays. Kill whitey.
Put on a pastel colored jacket, push up the sleeves, flip your shirt collar, and you'll be fine.
Should I also buy a Delorian and develop a major cocaine addiction? Ahhh— those weren't the days.
What do Rick Ross and Flo Rida have to say about all of this ???
Umm….is that lady playing with her private parts?
If she's on a beach, they ain't private.
Maybe it's a private beach.
Dammit! Foiled by your superior logic!
or maybe the photo was taken by a private eye.
A private dick?
What? It's a legitimate term!
Damn it….you made me look!
Is there an issue here of the right to see her privates?
On a nude beach everyone has the right to privates-see.
Not since she was promoted to Sergeant.
She makes privates stand to attention.
Miami Beach? Blah. As in Meh.
I kind of miss the old meaning of blah. It's a shame to have to clarify.
No no no! Its the Sikh's at Turban Beach Weekend they are after.
I thought the Jews they love the Schwartz?
But the schwarzeneggers? Not so much!
Crockett and Tubbs gonna be soakin' up some sweet sweet overtime this weekend!
Man, that's a lot of seaweed.
I live in the country so I can't go anyway.
It's OK if they act "White".
Drive up in a Volvo, carry a NPR tote bag and buy some food at Whole Foods (no watermelon!)….
No. Acting white just makes you "uppity" and "elitist." See Obama, Barack – 44th President of the United States.
Or the comedic foil of the hip young dude (cf Carlton Banks)
Zima and Miller Lite?
Close. Miller High Life 64 and Barefoot Merlot.
It's not an arrest quota based on race, it's detentional guidlines based on the Pantone® Reference Library.
I'm sorry, your 4975C clashes with our 4502 sand
It's making me blue…
Pantone 292.
—Magnetic Fields
Sounds like a good weekend for the Cubans and Haitians to hit the beach and just blend into the crowd.
Of course, the Cubans get the benefit of the "wet foot, dry foot" rule while the Haitians are on their own.
Drop the Creole, pick up the Spanish.
And how do the retired Jews fit into this?
Exactly! Something gefilte fishy is going on.
…because when people know the police are planning ahead of time to arrest the hell out of them they're much more likely to be polite and not cause trouble.
Yes, well, once all the warrants are preprinted, it's just a matter of handing them out, like leaflets. I can see many rounds of Charges Poker, featuring the melanin-enriched.
In my mind that beach lady is arresting me right now.
Instead of going to the beach, the urban kids should just stay in the 'hood and open up a fire hydrant.
Or shoot holes in each other.
You know, for ventilation.
Ah yes, Miami-Dade an area that has never ever had problems counting.
♫ Play a game cops on Miami sand now
Call "Quotas under the Sun"
Arrest minorities, up to 2 grand now
BINGO! You won!
Beach Blahnket Bingo
Beach Blahnket Bingo
Beach Blahnket Bingo
That's the name of the game ! ♪
Is it 'cause they're all college kids that the cops are arresting on the curve? But the smart ones will know that after they get their quota, then all hell can break loose.
Damn affirmative action arrests…
Look on the bright side. This will give reality TV shows like Cops and Campus PD enough content to last another decade at least.
That's no excuse. The Dolphins aren't using their stadium right now.
Even when they're using it, they're not really using it…as in winning games.
Hey, they're learning to win.
And the first step of learning a process is observing it. As in, they are watching other teams make touchdowns, until they get the basic idea.
"See one, do one, teach one!"
They're sort of stuck at step one.
"And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."
HOLY SHIT – FREAKNIK??? Y'all this is a biiiiiiiig deal down here. (it was in Atlanta all of my formative years) I did not know this is what this was – I am DEFINITELY gonna have to go to Miami now, and stand on the roof of my car, funnel beer and yell at people driving by with my ass hanging out of my cutoffs (it IS still 1994, yes?)…As this is the only polite way to greet one's friends at Freaknik.
Pictures or it doesn't happen
Oh I'll get you some pictures, don't you worry. It'll happen.
I saw a woman dragged from her car, stripped almost naked, and nearly raped before some other Freaknik kids rescued her. This was in Atlanta in 1994.
Yep. Freaknik. I believe it.
BTF is right. The seaweed to sand ratio would appear to make this particular bit of beach a less than desirable choice.
On the other hand, WOOHOO – likin that décolletage.
Miami is standing its ground!
That son of a bitch Castro is shitting all over us!
I hope y'all are only doing half-faps since it appears that lady only has a single boob. A boobclops, as it were.
Its Florida. Bring your gun and shoot whoever you want/ 'makes you feel uncomfortable'.
Having been born and raised in Miami, I can assure you it's pretty much a weird everything.
I'm so conflicted. Go to North Carolina for the White People Only Cross Roast or go watch the Blah People Round-up Rodeo down in Miami. I'm going to have to pray on this for guidance. "He" will give me a sign. Maybe I'll just stay home and clean my guns.
Google says the jail capacity in Miami is 1950. They are at about 2500 right now. Maybe Gitmo can loan them a few cots.
The police union is not crazy. They know that needlessly harassing a large crowd of intoxicated teenagers in a high octane party mood will not end well, almost none of the inevitable arrests would result in a prosecution and when all is said and done would probably result in budget draining police harassment/civil rights lawsuits and totally avoidable injuries to officers. The union is looking out for the best interests of its members which in this case means emphasizing good solid non confrontational but proactive high visibility community police work. And use lots of sunscreen.
Miami Beach? Really? Anybody who goes there to party deserves to be arrested;
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