Veepstakes! Romney Hero Meg Whitman Out-Bains Bain Capital, Slashes 27,000 Jobs At HP
Why can't Californians have nice things? Because the "Golden Dream by the Sea" was all yeah eat me when HP CEO Meg Whitman tried to save it from itself the same way she has saved Hewlett Packard! What is it about "Creative Destruction" that California doesn't understand? As typewriters and steel mills and Hewlett Packard employees become obsolete, the economy churns, and industries fall so that they may be replaced by something more better! It's Schumpeter and stuff! (Why this should be a necessary part of the economy, but help for those who were creatively destroyed out of their jobs should be Moral Hazard and akin to feeding stray animals, we never did understand, but Economics Is Hard!)
So how many jobs did Meg Whitman slash at HP the same day Romney was busy for she's a jolly good fellowing to NRO? Oh, 27,000. What did Meg Whitman get paid last year? Either $1 or $16 million. It's all good though, because the $16 million was in stock options, and those only become worth anything if she manages to raise the stock price! Did axing 27,000 people from HP raise the stock price? In fact it did!
HP's shares, which fell as much as 5% on Wednesday and closed 3% down, were up 6.6% in after-hours trading on Wall Street.
That's some creative destruction Mitt Romney can get behind!
I wish Californians had elected Meg Whitman. She would have been more successful and explained to Californians the need to cut back on spending and eliminate unnecessary programs. There are other states that have very different records. I think it’s interesting that the state with the highest or among the highest tax rates in the nation also has the worst or near the worst deficit.
“You can’t tax your way out of debt or a deficit. You simply have to rein in the size of the government, because the government will simply ask for more and more and more, until the taxpayers finally say ‘enough.’”
Tell us more how business works, The BBC?
California-based HP reported a 31% fall in profits in the second quarter to $1.6bn. Revenue in the period fell 3% on a year ago to $30.7bn.
Meg Whitman, HP's chief executive, said: "This quarter we exceeded our previously provided outlook and are executing against our strategy, but we still have a lot of work to do."
Stupid California, electing Old Jerry Brown, who is all into stupid things like infrastructure, and only firing people when he has to! Meg Whitman would have explained to us the need to fire ourselves , and to cut back on spending and unnecessary programs! Unnecessary programs like food and shelter and college. (Which, don't know if you heard, are already cut down to what science calls "the bone," but not the good kind of "the bone.") Fire more people please, Jerry Brown! Or you don't get to be His Lord High Hairgel's vice presidential nominee.
Not a day goes by where the GOP remind me more and more of Zorg from the Fifth Element.
Assistant: Sir, the board recommends laying off 500,000. Zorg: Lay off one million.
So HP's profits were a mere 6 billion fucking dollars? That's tragic - no wonder Meg felt the need for some creative job destruction.
27,000 jobs (for the unwashed 99%-ers) are a small price to pay, when weighed against the unbearable agony of the Mitt Romneys of the world suffering a tiny drop in their (taxed-at-15-percent) dividends and capital gains. I'm sure that extra bit of cash will trickle back down to the 27,000 -- with magical invisible-hand bonuses attached. (Someone should ask Mitt how that's gonna work, exactly, because I sure as hell ain't seeing it.)
EDIT: I almost forgot: Fuck you, Meg.