LET'S GO DO SOME CRIMES!  3:14 pm May 23, 2012

Meet Terrifying Pennsylvania GOP Crime Family ‘The Orie Sisters’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Went and got sushi, didn't payHey, The Wire, would you like to come back on the television set, but ran out of every kind of scumbag hero society could possibly hold? Have you met Allegheny County’s the Orie sisters, who are all either on trial now or already convicted felons for misusing their state Senate and state Supreme Court offices, and also forgery and (we’re just spitballing here) probably murder and twincest?

Convicted Pennsylvania state Sen. Jane Orie stepped down from her seat Monday, a few days after her state Supreme Court justice sister was charged with similar allegations she used taxpayer-funded staff for campaigns.

The Allegheny County Republican submitted her resignation in a letter to Senate President Joe Scarnati dated Friday , the same day Justice Joan Orie Melvin was charged with using her Superior Court staff for campaign work during two bids for a seat on the high court.

LADIES, LADIES! STOP CRIME-SPREEING PENNSYLVANIA!

Most notably, [Jane] Orie was convicted of forging documents she introduced to defend herself at her first campaign corruption trial last year, which ended in mistrial in March 2011 when [Allegheny County Judge Jeffrey] Manning agreed with prosecutors that one document in particular was so blatantly faked that “even Ray Charles” could see it.

Hahahohoho, apparently Allegheny County Judge Jeffrey Manning is tired of being an Allegheny County Judge, and would like to come work at Wonkette instead! But who did spot the forgery, if it wasn’t Ray Charles? Could it have been this chick? (YES.)

Anyhoozles, there is also a third sister, Janine, and she is on trial too, because BLOOD is THICKER than WATER, or something equally Real Housewives of New Jersey Mafiosa.

The charges against Melvin echo those against a third sister, Janine Orie, who headed Melvin’s staff on the Superior Court. Those charges are based on the grand jury testimony of other current and former Melvin staffers, including law clerks, who contend Melvin and Janine Orie directed them to perform the judicial campaign work on state time.

What say you, Wall Street Journal? Are the Orie Crime Family fingering someone, since obviously they are not to blame?

The sisters, all Republicans, say their legal troubles reflect bad blood with the Allegheny County district attorney, who is a Democrat.

Also? The gays. Nuff said.

[Philly/WSJ, via Wonkette operative Weejee]

 

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{ 144 comments }

MissTaken May 23, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Blingee!!!

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Fucking red X. I can't wait to get home, now!

chascates May 23, 2012 at 3:16 pm

They are rather shrewish looking, except the naughty hottie on the right. Daughter?

nounverb911 May 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Trans-gender son.

Crank_Tango May 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Either way, I'd hit that.

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:30 pm

There are days on Wonkette that I regret the office firewall. Like that time Miss Taken took off her clothes…

FraAnima May 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Fapping now…

Crank_Tango May 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Well, to avoid a sprained boner I would not google any of them, because I think the hot one is a daughter and not a corrupt sister.

extreme_left May 23, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I think thats being harsh on shrews

Barb May 23, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Well, at least these scrawny Crypt Keeper looking bitches will get fed in prison. Old bitches that thin have to hop around in the shower to get wet.

"Twincest?"= nibbling siblings?

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Sister wives

Geminisunmars May 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Mirror wives.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

It's the *hottest* thing right now.

PuckStopsHere May 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

It's ALWAYS a good sign when the newspaper references your "first" campaign corruption trial.

shortsandpants May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

It's sort of a Republican rite of passage. You know… Like tax evasion, or pedophilia.

nounverb911 May 23, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Poor mean democratic prosecutor won't let the nice republitard be a crook.

Billmatic May 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

When reached for comment, Baltimore Democrat Clay Davis responded: "Sheeeeeiiiiiitttttt, patna! Those ladies is just workin for they constituency!"

MissTaken May 23, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Nothing says classy like a scowl and a crucifix, and white pantyhose, too!

Tundra Grifter May 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Grifters grift. Ya just can't explain it.

Believe me – I know.

ElPinche May 23, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I can't believe Jesus let this happen to them.

OneYieldRegular May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I can't believe Rick Santorum let this happen to them.

Jus_Wonderin May 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

It is just so sad when a Star Trek guest-alien ages. They can't give it up.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

The Salt Vampire?

bumfug May 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

I wish they'd had the decency to pull something over their faces like regular crooks do.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Decency! They're robbing, stealing, lying, cheating, and screwing high and low, and you want decency!

nounverb911 May 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Orly Taintz will file the appeal.

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Except she will file it in her hoo hah, because it is tighter and wetter than a regular court.

FNMA May 23, 2012 at 3:20 pm

My home state! Here's a little bit of weird-ass trivia: Jane, Joan and Janine have a sister named Judith. One brother, Jerry, works for our governor and another brother, Jack, is Jane and Joan's lawyer.
Jesus.

Sharkey May 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Jumpin' Jehosephats!

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Jerks!

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Jincest much?

ThankYouJeebus May 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Favorite snack? Jello.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

No Jrigg or Jrapp?

LettucePrey May 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm

The one in the middle looks like she died in 1988 but was embalmed and kept lovingly in a rocking chair under a straw wig.

rickmaci May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Didn't she play Anthony Perkins' mother in Psycho?

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm

By her crossdressing son.

shortsandpants May 23, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Ethics have an inherent liberal bias. Totally unfair.

Chichikovovich May 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Well of course it's the Democrat's fault. He's supposed to be a lawyer who went to law school and everything, probably one of those fancy-pants law schools like Pitt or Duquesne where they hand you the diploma instead of mailing it. But the fraud has never even heard of the fundamental legal principle of IOKIYAR.

tihond May 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Ally McBeal has really let herself go.

OkieDokieDog May 23, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I'm sure they were framed for this "white collar crime" spree. Good Christian Republican womenfolk would never commit a REAL crime.

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 6:17 pm

White collar crimes aren't real crimes, they are just unbridled Capitalism.

Maman May 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Clearly it is the fault of the Democrat who hates them and prolly used evil mind control to make them break laws.

Barb May 23, 2012 at 3:25 pm

You know the old saying: you can never be too rich, too thin, too corrupt.

Jus_Wonderin May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I might suggest that next time they don't use a drywall trowel to put on their makeup.

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Well, judging by the photograph, apparently you can.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I think that's the first time I've ever seen "shotcrete" mentioned on teh Wonkette! Shotcrete is the only thing in this whole world that I might hate more than Darth Cheney.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Nah, I just work for a gubmint roadway and bridge erection agency in the Rocky Mountain West where some folks think it's really cool to spray shotcrete to hold up a steep road cut slope next to a Federally-designated "Scenic Byway" because it's too much work to buy a little right-of-way from a willing landowner so you can cut back a gentler slope. If I could post the pictures, it would make you cry.

Isyaignert May 23, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Barbie's great grandma in the front must be innocent since she's wearing a cross necklace 'n' all.

metamarcisf May 23, 2012 at 3:27 pm

If this lady was a Republican, Wonkette would be all over this story.

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Fox News?

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

So, Nurse Ratched went into state politics.

Trannysurprise May 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Pretty much a cross between Law & Order and Swamp People. History channel will pick up at least a seasons worth.

rickmaci May 23, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble."

nounverb911 May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Needs more Newts.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm

He's simmering in a slightly cooler tub, I bleev.

MosesInvests May 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Weird sisters, indeed.

smokefilledroommate May 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Three girls, one crime.

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Ray Charles libel!

johnnyzhivago May 23, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Don't worry, they're already negotiating two Reality Series with TLC: "Pennsyltucky High Heeled HiJinks with the Orie Sisters" and "Million Dollar Mountain Madam Mayhem"

SudsMcKenzie May 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Even Ray Charles could see their but ugly.

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

And he's dead!

SayItWithWookies May 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Better luck next generation, Orie sisters — you're not a legitimate Republican crime family until you've invaded a third-world country and deposed one of your former allies.

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Yes, but if I was West Virginia, I'd keep a light on at the border.

shortsandpants May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

… and we mustn't forget replacing the former ally with another dictator until said dictator repeats previous said dictator's mistakes— and so on and so forth. That IS Nation building, right? I don't know, Wookies. I just listen to what the Cato Institute tells me.

IncenseDebate May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Who would finger them?

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Ray Charles?

rickmaci May 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Ew ew ew ew.

Wile E. Quixote May 23, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Dude, I wouldn't finger those skanks with J. Walter Weatherman's artificial hand.

doloras May 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Each other.

StealthMuslin May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Poor Katniss Everdeen Orie haz a sad!

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Damn, that Jane Orie….when momma said "Don't make faces, it'll freeze like that" I thought she was kidding.

Seriously. She looks like Belinda Carlisle had a face plant on a manhole cover.

prommie May 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

These days, Belinda Carlisle looks like Belinda Carlisle had a face plant on a manhole cover. HOWEVER, Susanna Hoffs is a stone-cold Milf-Gilf beauty.

johnnyzhivago May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

They look like they'll land on their feet — which could cause severe ankle injury.

Baconzgood May 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Allegheny County representin!!!!!!!!!

UP FISTS FOR ALL!

gullywompr May 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Jane, Joan and Janine… Didn't they used to be on the Lawerence Welk Show?

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

And a-one, and a-two, and a-three…Oh boy, it'sa gonna be a fun time in the Welk bedaroom tonight!

mavenmaven May 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

or, as Fox news will report: Sen Jane Orie (D)

Baconzgood May 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm

You should see how the Trib (which makes Faux Noose look liberal) is covering it. If you read the editoral page they make it sound like it's a witch hunt. Too bad they have been trying to catch Jane for years. She's as crooked as the Grand Canyon.

Crank_Tango May 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Little known fact: My Great-Great Grandfather, Emory Walling, was a Justice on the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. I was a little shocked to find out my ancestors weren't ALL drunken immigrants.

Billmatic May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Kinda disappointing when that happens amirite?

Thurman Munster IV May 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

How are those two facts mutually exclusive?

Chichikovovich May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Searching for news articles, this photo of Jane turned up:
http://thirdchairpgh.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/

This isn't real, right? It's from a low-budget movie about vampires in Pittsburgh?

Edit: Though thanks to actor212's post, I did see this one, which is right ladylike: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HJmO3xJaBMs/T3D4NXTq2NI

Jus_Wonderin May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Takes me back to when the family would gather around the TeeVee to watch "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom".

Allmighty_Manos May 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Or the Exorcist

Wile E. Quixote May 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

ANNE PARILLAUD LIBEL!!!

Chichikovovich May 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I was thinking more in the direction of Robert Loggia:http://www.stomptokyo.com/otf/Innocent/DzlItem550.jpg—

Wile E. Quixote May 23, 2012 at 6:39 pm

ROBERT LOGGIA LIBEL!!!!

johnnyzhivago May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Glad to see Pennsylvania getting into the stupid! Was starting to worry that AZ, NC, etc… were taking all the glory! Good job!

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Oh come on! How soon they forget….Rick Santorum????

Wile E. Quixote May 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Hey, the Penn State scandal was only six months ago.

fuflans May 23, 2012 at 11:33 pm

i bet you any fucking thing my teatard uncle in pittsburgh – who i love very much – was somehow involved with one of these ladies.

(he is near 80. involved only in the economic sense…).

SayItWithWookies May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

You could tell there was something wrong with those ladies just by looking at them — a swizzle stick should not have hair. The bitter expressions wouldn't lighten a proper drinking mood either.

Mahousu May 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I love the bio of your Photoshop sleuth: Mara Zebest is a graphic artist and co-author for a number of Adobe product books … which typically exceeded 1,000 pages .. She … has worked closely with the Cold Case Posse (CCP) for Maricopa County Sheriff's Office (MCSO) in providing evidence on Obama's forged birth certificate.

You can tell she's an expert – those books were over 1,000 pages long!

Geminisunmars May 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Well, when you get paid by the word…

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

via Wonkette operative Weejee

Congrats to Weejee for getting a tip blog posted on, but I guess I'm not the only one who can't read all the posts anymore, dear Editrix.

OT, but it looks like Republican thievery is a family affair in Pennsylvania.

Chichikovovich May 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I find that if I use Google Chrome or Firefox I get all the posts, but Internet Explorer just loses track of lots of them.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm

I was thinking more in terms of not having the time to read all the posts anymore. I was also thinking that if the staff at Wonkette doesn't have the time to read and digest all the comments, well, mebbe the more mischievous (or however you spell it) can post all kinds of stuff, BWA HA HA HA HA!

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I meant no slam on you, weejee. I was just tickling the editrix.

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Yeoman Rand has aged badly. Bill Shatner probably wouldn't even hit that.

actor212 May 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Dude. Kirk would have tapped the Gorm if it was a chick. Who we kidding?

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

He'd fuck a snake. Hell, he'd fuck a pile of rocks if he thought there was a snake underneath it.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Kirk hit on green women.

prommie May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Bullshit, thats David Lee Roth in drag. Come on, noone else looks that much like the Cryptkeeper.

Baconzgood May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Politics as usual in the Steel City. It's great when locals make the news. And a Blingee to boot! I'm so proud of my home town *wipes tear*. Wonkette likes us. You really really like us.

SorosBot May 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

See, this is why we Philadelphians don't trust politicians from the rest of the state.

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

"so blatantly faked that "even Ray Charles" could see it."

That's pretty blatant, if a blind guy who's been dead for 8 years can see it.

BarackMyWorld May 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

It looks like the Olsen twins finally went full Lohan.

Wile E. Quixote May 23, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Uh oh. You never go full Lohan.

SorosBot May 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm

They would have been better off following Gov. Corbett's corruption lead and legally pimped the state out to the energy industry.

Allmighty_Manos May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

The one on the left is particularly terrifying.

BaldarTFlagass May 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Repo Man references are one of the reasons I spend my days here.

Doktor StrangeZoom May 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

You ever feel as if your mind had started to erode?

LionHeartSoyDog May 23, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I blame Society.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Looks like there's a new dog in town.

Callyson May 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

From the Pittsburgh Post – Gazette article on this–check out that DA's bad blood:

In a filing prepared for the judge who will sentence former state Sen. Jane C. Orie next month, the Allegheny County District Attorney's office said it is seeking more than $1.3 million in damages related to her conviction on ethics act violations.
That's on top of $1.2 million it has requested to be repaid that the Pennsylvania Senate spent toward defending the criminal case, as well as another $200,000 it is seeking in forfeiture from the McCandless Republican's campaign finance account and her pension.

http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/neighbo

"What, I have to pay money for this? I'm not just getting a slap on the wrist? DEMOCRATS ARE PERSECUTING ME!!!"

BlueStateLibel May 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Wait, this is Transylvania we're talking about, right?

Callyson May 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Oh, and this is not the first time criminal wingnuts have accused the Allegheny DA of bias–from Wikipedia:

In 2004, he became embroiled in a war of words with County Coroner Dr. Cyril Wecht, stemming from an open inquest Wecht pursued. Wecht accused Zappala of "impudence, arrogance, gall of an unmitigated nature, hubris and unsurpassed chutzpah that absolutely defies explanation," and musing, "Who does the district attorney think he is?"
When Wecht was later indicted on a variety of charges, a defense attorney blamed Zappala for the probe, saying it was politically motivated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Zappala

Go, hometown county DA!

Baconzgood May 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Where abouts? Just wondering?

Callyson May 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Hey there BG–we lived mostly around Oakland (parents went to Pitt), though I spent a bit of time in Squirrel Hill as well. When Mom and I moved to CA, Dad was in Castle Shannon, then lived in Brookline for the rest of his life.Also–GO STEELERS!

Baconzgood May 23, 2012 at 4:52 pm

My Baconz Jr.s live in Castle Shannon (strange because it's such a small town yet so many people have lived there at one point or another) with ex-Zgood. Baconz was from the lovely area of Homiestead.

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 7:37 pm

Is Homiestead in the blah part of town?

ThankYouJeebus May 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Leslie Knope is Einstein compared to these ladies.

comrad_darkness May 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Do we get the trifecta of them being teabagger favorites?

proudgrampa May 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I have never understood Pennsylvania politics.

Ann_ObeyMe_Money May 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Kudos to Weej for a good, grisly story! Wow, this is totes full of bloodsucking hateful criminality and perversion. Or close enough, anyway.

comrad_darkness May 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

The term Harpie is generally so sexist, but I can't think of another term here… sorry ladies.

LocalGirlMakesGoo May 23, 2012 at 4:58 pm

GOOD GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEIR FACES?!!

theshasta1 May 23, 2012 at 5:07 pm

PENNSYLVANIA IS DEFINITELY NOT THE MOST CORRUPT STATE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY!!!
People who know, know.

Guppy May 23, 2012 at 5:12 pm

OK, is the American Thinker link satire, or just someone who fails optics forever?

elburritodeluxe May 23, 2012 at 5:20 pm

One might think that you looked around for the most unflattering possible photo of these ladies. Not true.

OldRedneck May 23, 2012 at 7:04 pm

JEEEE—-SUS!!! The two on the left look like they got in a hatchet fight without a hatchet!!!

Where did they park their brooms?

valthemus May 23, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Let's all go to the Ann Coulter School of Aryan Cosmetology to learn how to dye our hair blond and stretch our necks!

rocktonsam May 23, 2012 at 7:22 pm

I'll bet the sex with these cougars is just angry., meow.

Hey, they can't go to jail, they're white.

Vagina Libel!!1!

BZ1 May 23, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Oooo, let me throw out a wild guess, republicans??

__kth__ May 23, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I was a little stunned to find that they graduated from high school, let alone have JDs, as they look a little common. But probably everyone looks like that in their neck of the woods.

CarolinaStewPie May 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Wow. Wonkette, wtf? How did you miss this little tidbit?

From a John Baer article on Jane Orie at Philly.com..

"In Harrisburg, meanwhile, a former Senate aide to Orie, Alan Berlin, is on trial on charges he tried to arrange a sexual encounter over the Internet with a 15-year old autistic boy.

Berlin, 43, is described as a "furry," or someone who dresses in animal costumes for fantasy roleplay — in his case, as a panda bear.

I am not making this up.

Berlin's attorney told the jury that the furry community is "an imagination world where everybody pretends to be something they're not."

Hmmm. Seems to be a theme here.

And it sort of begs the question of who else in Orie world pretends to be something they're not."

A flamin' Furry working for Orie.

lulzmonger May 24, 2012 at 2:36 am

I found this truly horrifying & soul-crushing to masturbate to.

UncleLooney May 24, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Welcome to Western PA politics. It's everywhere. From the small town mayors to the state legislators — they all be orange jumpsuit wearin' filths. Mike Kelly, Daryl Mecalf, Brian Ellis, Butler City Council and so many many more. Many in prison right now. It's really amazing, actually. Sorta like Louisianna.

larrykat May 24, 2012 at 1:32 pm

These bitches should meet the Fitzgerald brothers from Wisconsin. Just think of all the righteous hawt missionary sexy time that would ensue.

ttommyunger May 24, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Looks like the ugly stick is batting two out of three in that neck of the woods.

ttommyunger May 25, 2012 at 6:04 am

Charly's Angels….Charly Manson.

Geminisunmars May 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Yes, in GOP circles the biggest sin is the wearing of white stuff this time of year. The rest of their actions are forgivable.

fuflans May 23, 2012 at 11:28 pm

you are never supposed to wear white hose unless you teleported from the '80s.

you are thinking of white shoes. ask missT. she knows.

Baconzgood May 24, 2012 at 10:53 am

Not black so much, Homestead is just a little rough and tumble. Well it used to be. I've only heard of one of my friends who still lives there getting jumped in the last year. So it's better.

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