let's go do some crimes!

Meet Terrifying Pennsylvania GOP Crime Family ‘The Orie Sisters’

Went and got sushi, didn't payHey, The Wire, would you like to come back on the television set, but ran out of every kind of scumbag hero society could possibly hold? Have you met Allegheny County’s the Orie sisters, who are all either on trial now or already convicted felons for misusing their state Senate and state Supreme Court offices, and also forgery and (we’re just spitballing here) probably murder and twincest?

Convicted Pennsylvania state Sen. Jane Orie stepped down from her seat Monday, a few days after her state Supreme Court justice sister was charged with similar allegations she used taxpayer-funded staff for campaigns.

The Allegheny County Republican submitted her resignation in a letter to Senate President Joe Scarnati dated Friday , the same day Justice Joan Orie Melvin was charged with using her Superior Court staff for campaign work during two bids for a seat on the high court.

LADIES, LADIES! STOP CRIME-SPREEING PENNSYLVANIA!

Most notably, [Jane] Orie was convicted of forging documents she introduced to defend herself at her first campaign corruption trial last year, which ended in mistrial in March 2011 when [Allegheny County Judge Jeffrey] Manning agreed with prosecutors that one document in particular was so blatantly faked that “even Ray Charles” could see it.

Hahahohoho, apparently Allegheny County Judge Jeffrey Manning is tired of being an Allegheny County Judge, and would like to come work at Wonkette instead! But who did spot the forgery, if it wasn’t Ray Charles? Could it have been this chick? (YES.)

Anyhoozles, there is also a third sister, Janine, and she is on trial too, because BLOOD is THICKER than WATER, or something equally Real Housewives of New Jersey Mafiosa.

The charges against Melvin echo those against a third sister, Janine Orie, who headed Melvin’s staff on the Superior Court. Those charges are based on the grand jury testimony of other current and former Melvin staffers, including law clerks, who contend Melvin and Janine Orie directed them to perform the judicial campaign work on state time.

What say you, Wall Street Journal? Are the Orie Crime Family fingering someone, since obviously they are not to blame?

The sisters, all Republicans, say their legal troubles reflect bad blood with the Allegheny County district attorney, who is a Democrat.

Also? The gays. Nuff said.

[Philly/WSJ, via Wonkette operative Weejee]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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144 comments

  1. chascates

    They are rather shrewish looking, except the naughty hottie on the right. Daughter?

          1. Crank_Tango

            Well, to avoid a sprained boner I would not google any of them, because I think the hot one is a daughter and not a corrupt sister.

  2. Barb

    Well, at least these scrawny Crypt Keeper looking bitches will get fed in prison. Old bitches that thin have to hop around in the shower to get wet.

    "Twincest?"= nibbling siblings?

  3. PuckStopsHere

    It's ALWAYS a good sign when the newspaper references your "first" campaign corruption trial.

    1. shortsandpants

      It's sort of a Republican rite of passage. You know… Like tax evasion, or pedophilia.

  4. Billmatic

    When reached for comment, Baltimore Democrat Clay Davis responded: "Sheeeeeiiiiiitttttt, patna! Those ladies is just workin for they constituency!"

  5. bumfug

    I wish they'd had the decency to pull something over their faces like regular crooks do.

    1. Boojum

      Except she will file it in her hoo hah, because it is tighter and wetter than a regular court.

  6. FNMA

    My home state! Here's a little bit of weird-ass trivia: Jane, Joan and Janine have a sister named Judith. One brother, Jerry, works for our governor and another brother, Jack, is Jane and Joan's lawyer.
    Jesus.

  7. LettucePrey

    The one in the middle looks like she died in 1988 but was embalmed and kept lovingly in a rocking chair under a straw wig.

  8. Chichikovovich

    Well of course it's the Democrat's fault. He's supposed to be a lawyer who went to law school and everything, probably one of those fancy-pants law schools like Pitt or Duquesne where they hand you the diploma instead of mailing it. But the fraud has never even heard of the fundamental legal principle of IOKIYAR.

  9. OkieDokieDog

    I'm sure they were framed for this "white collar crime" spree. Good Christian Republican womenfolk would never commit a REAL crime.

  10. Maman

    Clearly it is the fault of the Democrat who hates them and prolly used evil mind control to make them break laws.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I might suggest that next time they don't use a drywall trowel to put on their makeup.

      1. flamingpdog

        I think that's the first time I've ever seen "shotcrete" mentioned on teh Wonkette! Shotcrete is the only thing in this whole world that I might hate more than Darth Cheney.

        1. flamingpdog

          Nah, I just work for a gubmint roadway and bridge erection agency in the Rocky Mountain West where some folks think it's really cool to spray shotcrete to hold up a steep road cut slope next to a Federally-designated "Scenic Byway" because it's too much work to buy a little right-of-way from a willing landowner so you can cut back a gentler slope. If I could post the pictures, it would make you cry.

  11. Isyaignert

    Barbie's great grandma in the front must be innocent since she's wearing a cross necklace 'n' all.

  12. Trannysurprise

    Pretty much a cross between Law & Order and Swamp People. History channel will pick up at least a seasons worth.

  13. johnnyzhivago

    Don't worry, they're already negotiating two Reality Series with TLC: "Pennsyltucky High Heeled HiJinks with the Orie Sisters" and "Million Dollar Mountain Madam Mayhem"

  14. SayItWithWookies

    Better luck next generation, Orie sisters — you're not a legitimate Republican crime family until you've invaded a third-world country and deposed one of your former allies.

    1. shortsandpants

      … and we mustn't forget replacing the former ally with another dictator until said dictator repeats previous said dictator's mistakes— and so on and so forth. That IS Nation building, right? I don't know, Wookies. I just listen to what the Cato Institute tells me.

    1. prommie

      These days, Belinda Carlisle looks like Belinda Carlisle had a face plant on a manhole cover. HOWEVER, Susanna Hoffs is a stone-cold Milf-Gilf beauty.

    1. Baconzgood

      You should see how the Trib (which makes Faux Noose look liberal) is covering it. If you read the editoral page they make it sound like it's a witch hunt. Too bad they have been trying to catch Jane for years. She's as crooked as the Grand Canyon.

  15. Crank_Tango

    Little known fact: My Great-Great Grandfather, Emory Walling, was a Justice on the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. I was a little shocked to find out my ancestors weren't ALL drunken immigrants.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Takes me back to when the family would gather around the TeeVee to watch "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom".

    1. fuflans

      i bet you any fucking thing my teatard uncle in pittsburgh – who i love very much – was somehow involved with one of these ladies.

      (he is near 80. involved only in the economic sense…).

  16. SayItWithWookies

    You could tell there was something wrong with those ladies just by looking at them — a swizzle stick should not have hair. The bitter expressions wouldn't lighten a proper drinking mood either.

  17. Mahousu

    I love the bio of your Photoshop sleuth: Mara Zebest is a graphic artist and co-author for a number of Adobe product books … which typically exceeded 1,000 pages .. She … has worked closely with the Cold Case Posse (CCP) for Maricopa County Sheriff's Office (MCSO) in providing evidence on Obama's forged birth certificate.

    You can tell she's an expert – those books were over 1,000 pages long!

  18. flamingpdog

    via Wonkette operative Weejee

    Congrats to Weejee for getting a tip blog posted on, but I guess I'm not the only one who can't read all the posts anymore, dear Editrix.

    OT, but it looks like Republican thievery is a family affair in Pennsylvania.

    1. Chichikovovich

      I find that if I use Google Chrome or Firefox I get all the posts, but Internet Explorer just loses track of lots of them.

      1. flamingpdog

        I was thinking more in terms of not having the time to read all the posts anymore. I was also thinking that if the staff at Wonkette doesn't have the time to read and digest all the comments, well, mebbe the more mischievous (or however you spell it) can post all kinds of stuff, BWA HA HA HA HA!

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        He'd fuck a snake. Hell, he'd fuck a pile of rocks if he thought there was a snake underneath it.

  19. prommie

    Bullshit, thats David Lee Roth in drag. Come on, noone else looks that much like the Cryptkeeper.

  20. Baconzgood

    Politics as usual in the Steel City. It's great when locals make the news. And a Blingee to boot! I'm so proud of my home town *wipes tear*. Wonkette likes us. You really really like us.

  21. SorosBot

    See, this is why we Philadelphians don't trust politicians from the rest of the state.

  22. BaldarTFlagass

    "so blatantly faked that "even Ray Charles" could see it."

    That's pretty blatant, if a blind guy who's been dead for 8 years can see it.

  23. SorosBot

    They would have been better off following Gov. Corbett's corruption lead and legally pimped the state out to the energy industry.

  24. Callyson

    From the Pittsburgh Post – Gazette article on this–check out that DA's bad blood:

    In a filing prepared for the judge who will sentence former state Sen. Jane C. Orie next month, the Allegheny County District Attorney's office said it is seeking more than $1.3 million in damages related to her conviction on ethics act violations.
    That's on top of $1.2 million it has requested to be repaid that the Pennsylvania Senate spent toward defending the criminal case, as well as another $200,000 it is seeking in forfeiture from the McCandless Republican's campaign finance account and her pension.

    http://www.post-gazette.com/stories/local/neighbo

    "What, I have to pay money for this? I'm not just getting a slap on the wrist? DEMOCRATS ARE PERSECUTING ME!!!"

  25. Callyson

    Oh, and this is not the first time criminal wingnuts have accused the Allegheny DA of bias–from Wikipedia:

    In 2004, he became embroiled in a war of words with County Coroner Dr. Cyril Wecht, stemming from an open inquest Wecht pursued. Wecht accused Zappala of "impudence, arrogance, gall of an unmitigated nature, hubris and unsurpassed chutzpah that absolutely defies explanation," and musing, "Who does the district attorney think he is?"
    When Wecht was later indicted on a variety of charges, a defense attorney blamed Zappala for the probe, saying it was politically motivated.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Zappala

    Go, hometown county DA!

      1. Callyson

        Hey there BG–we lived mostly around Oakland (parents went to Pitt), though I spent a bit of time in Squirrel Hill as well. When Mom and I moved to CA, Dad was in Castle Shannon, then lived in Brookline for the rest of his life.Also–GO STEELERS!

        1. Baconzgood

          My Baconz Jr.s live in Castle Shannon (strange because it's such a small town yet so many people have lived there at one point or another) with ex-Zgood. Baconz was from the lovely area of Homiestead.

          1. Baconzgood

            Not black so much, Homestead is just a little rough and tumble. Well it used to be. I've only heard of one of my friends who still lives there getting jumped in the last year. So it's better.

  26. comrad_darkness

    The term Harpie is generally so sexist, but I can't think of another term here… sorry ladies.

  27. theshasta1

    PENNSYLVANIA IS DEFINITELY NOT THE MOST CORRUPT STATE IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY!!!
    People who know, know.

  28. OldRedneck

    JEEEE—-SUS!!! The two on the left look like they got in a hatchet fight without a hatchet!!!

    Where did they park their brooms?

  29. rocktonsam

    I'll bet the sex with these cougars is just angry., meow.

    Hey, they can't go to jail, they're white.

    Vagina Libel!!1!

  30. __kth__

    I was a little stunned to find that they graduated from high school, let alone have JDs, as they look a little common. But probably everyone looks like that in their neck of the woods.

  31. CarolinaStewPie

    Wow. Wonkette, wtf? How did you miss this little tidbit?

    From a John Baer article on Jane Orie at Philly.com..

    "In Harrisburg, meanwhile, a former Senate aide to Orie, Alan Berlin, is on trial on charges he tried to arrange a sexual encounter over the Internet with a 15-year old autistic boy.

    Berlin, 43, is described as a "furry," or someone who dresses in animal costumes for fantasy roleplay — in his case, as a panda bear.

    I am not making this up.

    Berlin's attorney told the jury that the furry community is "an imagination world where everybody pretends to be something they're not."

    Hmmm. Seems to be a theme here.

    And it sort of begs the question of who else in Orie world pretends to be something they're not."

    A flamin' Furry working for Orie.

  32. UncleLooney

    Welcome to Western PA politics. It's everywhere. From the small town mayors to the state legislators — they all be orange jumpsuit wearin' filths. Mike Kelly, Daryl Mecalf, Brian Ellis, Butler City Council and so many many more. Many in prison right now. It's really amazing, actually. Sorta like Louisianna.

  33. larrykat

    These bitches should meet the Fitzgerald brothers from Wisconsin. Just think of all the righteous hawt missionary sexy time that would ensue.

  34. ttommyunger

    Looks like the ugly stick is batting two out of three in that neck of the woods.

  35. Geminisunmars

    Yes, in GOP circles the biggest sin is the wearing of white stuff this time of year. The rest of their actions are forgivable.

  36. fuflans

    you are never supposed to wear white hose unless you teleported from the '80s.

    you are thinking of white shoes. ask missT. she knows.

Comments are closed.