Film School: Your Exciting New Path to Obtaining Government Secrets

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

We would like to see Hillary played by Matt Damon.

Right around the time in 2011 that Robert Gates was ordering everyone who knew anything about the operations of the strike that offed Osama bin Laden to shut the hell up in the name of Secrecy, a newly-released document obtained through a FOIA request shows that top Pentagon and CIA officials were holding hot gossip sessions with filmmakers Kathryn Bigelow and Mark Boal to share sexy details from the mission planning that Bigelow and Boal wanted for their new movie. The officials also made the filmmakers swear not to tell anyone else who they got their secrets from to avoid making the rest of the kids on the playground (“The Fourth Estate”) feel bad about being left out. But now the jig is up!

Your Wonkette officially has no problem with movie people who score high-level interviews to conduct research so that their war film scripts are more parts factually accurate than wholesale lies — heavens, if only there were more of it — but sweet Space Jesus are we sick of hearing OH GOD NO NOT THE SECRETS screams from officials every time even dumb questions like “How many head shavings are Gitmo prisoners permitted each year?” get asked and then go unanswered in the name of National Security. So naturally we laughed when we read that Pentagon and CIA officials even have the capacity to feel a nonzero amount of guilt about surreptitiously breaking the rules they fuss about so dramatically in public:

[Mark] Boal visited with acting CIA director Michael Morrell and had access to a mock-up at CIA headquarters that depicted the Abbottabad, Pakistan compound where the raid was carried out, the records indicate.

“On the operators side, Adm. McRaven and Adm. Olson do not want to talk directly, because it’s just a bad, their [sic] just concerned as commanders of the force and they’re telling them all the time—don’t you dare talk to anybody, that it’s just a bad example if it gets out—even with all sorts of restrictions and everything,” [Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence Mike] Vickers said, according to a transcript of the meeting released Friday to Judicial Watch. The conservative watchdog group filed a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit demanding the documents.

CIA officials seemed aware that cooperating with Boal was in some tension with the government’s public line that it was trying to crack down on leaks.

“We’re trying to keep [Boal's] visits at HQs [sic] a bit quiet, because of the sensitivities surrounding who gets to participates in this types of things [sic],” CIA spokesman Marie Harf wrote to a colleague in June 2011. “I’m sure you understand.”

Sigh. [POLITICO]

 
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{ 63 comments }

CapnFatback May 23, 2012 at 8:47 pm

This is nothing new. Back in 2003, the Bush administration shared their occupation strategies for the Iraq war with the producers of Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd.

extreme_left May 23, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I thought Lloyd was Bush… he was the one with a plan.

Designer_Rants May 23, 2012 at 9:01 pm

The Deciderer.

Sharkey May 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I continue to wish that you not bring your personal savior or deity into this. Yes you, Kirsten. It's really got nothing to do with the war machine.

Designer_Rants May 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Who? Osama?

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

I'd be happy to hear OH GOD NO NOT THE SECRETS screams from Kirsten any night, in bed.

Guppy May 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm

How do you know Space Jesus isn't involved? Did you ask Him?

Did He give you a straight answer?

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Space Jesus saves us all.

Barb May 23, 2012 at 8:51 pm

They should've ask the Breitbart people. They know everything about anything.

Guppy May 23, 2012 at 9:27 pm

VETTENING!

James Michael Curley May 23, 2012 at 10:31 pm

'cept high school level CPR.

Barb May 23, 2012 at 11:39 pm

That is wickedly hilarious, seriously.
I have a new policy that starts tomorrow that if you say something unfunny to me I will kick you until you're dead. : ) You sir, are going to live forever.

fuflans May 24, 2012 at 12:01 am

terrifyingly high bar.

Barb May 24, 2012 at 1:01 am

Lol, sorry. I feel myself going on a rant here……………

I feel that many Wonkette readers don't get their posts read because the typical reader will only read so much blah, blah, blah, before they quit reading the comments. I truly feel that the majority of comments are pure GOLD and they don't get their due because several Wonkette members will follow posts and they will post anything and I do mean ANYTHING in the hopes of "trickle down" p-points. They NEVER bother giving a p-point to the people they slam with post after post with their replies, most of them nonsensical. The reader gets bored and they miss the really great stuff that is not always seen.

I am NOT in any way, shape, form or fashion saying that anything I say is anything special. I am just really tired of people who call me out by name and say that their post isn't seen because I posted before them. My post isn't stopping the readers from enjoying the other posts. It is the plethora of "say anything" replies that is causing the logjam.

I love when people give thoughtful insight and witty replies to anything anyone posts. I love the sense of community here in Wonkette.

Look at the former posts. Sort them out by "rating" and look at the content of their replies. You'll see my point.

rocktonsam May 23, 2012 at 8:53 pm

does everything have to made a movie 10 seconds after it happens around here?

cripes

SayItWithWookies May 23, 2012 at 10:19 pm

That's a great idea for a screenplay — the questioning of the military-media-celebrity complex after the bin Laden killing. And shut up, I don't want to hear it.

OzoneTom May 23, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I'll wait for the BluRay.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 1:57 am

Dude, BluRay is for suckers, download it from a torrent.

BarackMyWorld May 23, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Marie Harf [sic] really needs to work on her [sic] grammar.

OneYieldRegular May 24, 2012 at 10:08 am

Peripheral Intelligence Agency?

ManchuCandidate May 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Davy Jones' Hurt Locker… starring the fish food corpse of OBL.

CapnFatback May 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

In other news, the CIA can't proofread there [sic] e-mails and letters worth a dam [sic].

ManchuCandidate May 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

James Bond: Do you expect me to talk?
Auric Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to direct.

James Michael Curley May 23, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Still one of the greatest 'evil genius' lines of all time.

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 8:59 pm

“We’re trying to keep [Boal's] visits at HQs [sic] a bit quiet, because of the sensitivities surrounding who gets to participates in this types of things [sic],” CIA spokesman Marie Harf wrote to a colleague in June 2011. “I’m sure you understand.”

This whole thing is [sic]k.

TootsStansbury May 23, 2012 at 9:02 pm

T

Designer_Rants May 23, 2012 at 9:03 pm

The CIA is gunnin' hard for a star on the Walk of Fame. It's all about 'image', people.

deanbooth May 23, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Who will play Bin Laden? I'd go with Michael Richards.

Callyson May 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Dennis Miller or GTFO.

Schmannnity May 23, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Kal Penn. Inside track.

Negropolis May 23, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Oh, please oh please oh please let it be Sacha Baron Cohen. You were good in Borat. Now go the fuck away, already.

SayItWithWookies May 23, 2012 at 10:28 pm

Tall, dark-haired, never funny — I'd go with Ann Coulter.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 2:06 am

Yeah, and with Coulter all you'd have to do is have her stop shaving for a couple of days and she'd have the beard.

James Michael Curley May 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Going to be 100% CGI. Just before he takes the round to the head his eyes bulge out of their sockets and come close to wiping out the whole Seal Team with poisonous tentacles.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 23, 2012 at 10:47 pm

Sacha Baron Cohen.

At the risk, of course, that the whole thing turns into another "Springtime for Hitler."

flamingpdog May 23, 2012 at 11:19 pm

If he weren't dead, I'd go with Lloyd Bridges. He spent a lot of time at the bottom of the ocean, also. Too.

Texan_Bulldog May 23, 2012 at 9:05 pm

"The officials also made the filmmakers swear not to tell anyone else who they got their secrets from to avoid making the rest of the kids on the playground (“The Fourth Estate”) feel bad about being left out." Anything that makes Mark Halperin whine like the pussy he is is definitely worth it.

coolhandnuke May 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Whatever film Bigelow spits out, the Hollywood suits will add a car chase, a lesbian rodeo clown, a few fart jokes, a cod piece and a feel good Mission Accomplished ending to reach the 12-25 demographic.

Steverino247 May 24, 2012 at 12:09 am

You left out rodeo clowns doing slo-mo karate moves for the Chinese market.

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 1:53 am

You say "lesbian rodeo clown" like that's a *bad* thing.

bagofmice May 24, 2012 at 4:52 am

A triple-clown-roundhouse-kick with the detachable "third leg" would amazingly awesome. In a Troma movie.

mrblifil May 23, 2012 at 9:14 pm

All this is a distraction from the real issues.

Guppy May 23, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Bain?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 23, 2012 at 10:51 pm

The President is black, the President is black, and the President is black.

Those the ones?

Callyson May 23, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Some Republicans have accused the Obama administration of having shared secret information with the movie team in order to paint President Barack Obama in a flattering light in a film that was originally scheduled to come out before the November election. The film, now called "Zero Dark Thirty," has since been delayed to Dec. 19.

Yeah…because the publicly available information clearly shows that Obama was opposed to the operation all along…

…Christ, there are probably wingnuts who think that is true…

Schmannnity May 23, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Obama administration screws MSM? I seem to have lost the narrative thread.

GeorgiaBurning May 23, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Now if it has Jack Bauer in it and Obama's the bad guy, all will be forgiven

mavenmaven May 23, 2012 at 9:34 pm

O'Keefe just peed himself.

Negropolis May 23, 2012 at 9:37 pm

My eyes just glazed over. That's some insider baseball, high school shit, right there.

weejee May 23, 2012 at 9:39 pm

 

BZ1 May 23, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I want Will Ferrell as Bush!

Boojum May 23, 2012 at 9:42 pm

OT, but, Kirsten, do you need a foot rub? Or a hot bath? Or anything, at all, that involves nakedness?

I mean, I'm just asking, is all, because of journamalistic investigatorimousity.

Steverino247 May 24, 2012 at 12:12 am

Hey, if I can stand next to her at a Wonkette party and behave myself, you can sit at your keyboard and do the same.

(Heh, heh. Sucks to be you!)

HobbesEvilTwin May 23, 2012 at 9:49 pm

It's a good thing we have Chris Matthews and the cable news networks to get out front with stories like this.

SayItWithWookies May 23, 2012 at 10:36 pm

This never would've been allowed to happen under Dubya. You won't find military personnel bragging about their success during his administration — no killing, no spilling, I think was the rule with those guys about bin Laden.

LionHeartSoyDog May 23, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Kathryn Bigelow has great legs, but she leans to the right, so:

Conflict of Interest.

Negropolis May 24, 2012 at 12:40 am

She does? I see why the marriage with Cameron didn't work out. Well, aside from him being a total d-bag on a personal level.

jgalleg4 May 23, 2012 at 11:15 pm

So…you apparently don't need to know anything about grammar and spelling to get into the CIA?

Wile E. Quixote May 24, 2012 at 1:55 am

Nope, and after reading Tim Weiner's book Legacy of Ashes I found out that you don't need intelligence to work at the CIA either.

celineoutle May 23, 2012 at 11:47 pm

OT, but, Kirsten, do you need a foot rub? Or a hot bath? Or anything, at all, that involves nakedness?

fuflans May 24, 2012 at 12:10 am

that picture is never going to stop being awesome.

suck it wingtards.

ttommyunger May 24, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Put Brad Pitt or George Clooney in the mix and it will make a gajillion dollarz, guaranteed. Only in 'Merika.

celineoutle July 5, 2012 at 11:38 pm

It's a good thing we have Chris Matthews and the cable news networks to get out front with stories like this

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