America’s most vocal light bulb sex toy fetishist Rep. Steve King had a hot little pile of mouth poop to share with his constituents regarding his personal vision for doling out U.S. work visas to immigrants, by comparing these humans to dogs: “You want a good bird dog? You want one that’s going to be aggressive? Pick the one that’s the friskiest … not the one that’s over there sleeping in the corner.” It goes without saying that Steve King volunteers to personally put a leash on each visa applicant and test for “friskiness,” with his light bulb.
From Salon:
King told the crowd in Pocahontas, Iowa, that he’s owned lots of bird dogs over the years and advised, “You want a good bird dog? You want one that’s going to be aggressive? Pick the one that’s the friskiest … not the one that’s over there sleeping in the corner.”
King suggested lazy immigrants should be avoided as well. “You get the pick of the litter and you got yourself a pretty good bird dog. Well, we’ve got the pick of every donor civilization on the planet,” King said. “We’ve got the vigor from the planet to come to America.”
Steve King sure does love thinking about all those vigorous dogs. Vigor vigor vigor. Why can’t Steve King talk about anything besides his sex fantasies every time he yaps? [Salon]
{ 188 comments }
What the fuck is a bird dog?
A dog that flies, like Underdog.
and flips a bird….
Here I come to shit on your day
– Steve King
It's a hunting thing.
You shoot the bird, the dog jumps in the pond and gets the carcass. Also known, in polite society, as a "Retriever".
Everly Bros.
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/the-everly-brothers/bi…
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_TbWDw-pxrc4/SKpKFUbQUjI…
Hope this helps.
Bird is the wird, dude!
The only living creature that Steve King can get into bed.
A fast dog designed to chase down small birds or fetch a bird you've shot. Think labradors or pointers.
Snoopy needs to be put down
Incidentally, it's also a term for a very specific sort of advocacy, where you harry a candidate for political office, often over the course of multiple events, in order to "flush out" a clear political position on an issue.
N.B: Mitt Romney is immune to bird-dogging, as he just straps bird-dogs to the roof of his campaign bus.
And if your immigrants get too old or sick to work, why, you just have 'em put down. It's the humane thing to do.
Goodness knows, no immigrant works, say, twelve hours a day busing tables for the crumbs of tips the waiters get, right?
I mean, those jobs are reserved for white folks.
Um, you need to use quotation marks when you pull text direct from Emma Lazarus like that.
LOU REED LIBEL!
Give me your hungry, your tired your poor I'll piss on 'em
What if they're rabid, like Steve King and the other teabaggers in Congress?
Well, then, you have to make like the ending of "Ol' Yeller"… but with VOTES!!!
Bird dogs are people too, my friends.
But Messicans? Jury's still out.
But does he like bear-dogs or little otter dogs? The world waits for a response.
Nope, that is not what he said, what he said is that immigrant people are dogs, not that dogs are people.
Today we are all bird dogs, my friends.
My rescue hound was a lot better person than any GOP member of congress- even better than some of the Dems there too
Some of my best friends own bird dogs.
Steve King wants an aggressive dog – so I guess he'd want Cujo for a pet. I for one would like to see that.
Stephen King-Cujo.
Well played. Tied it up nice and neat.
"We've got the vigor of the planet"???
Somewhere in Pakistan there's a Pakistani Colonel contemplating the fate of his precious bodily fluids.
King was definitely the runt of the litter.
I'm surprised that he didn't break out the "coon-dog" reference.
So is Steve saying he likes it "doggy" or "frisky", or both?
I thought he was hinting to us that he's a furry.
Whichever. As long as a leash is involved.
King's picking out the immigrants that can goosestep, salute, and swing a club. Blonde hair-blue eyes preferable but not required.
It's a sorry state of affairs when Pete King is not the worst person named King in Congress.
I will live in his district if he wins this election. Not happy about it.
Pete or Steve?
If it's Pete, then I'm afraid your loss is my gain, I'm in both the old and new 3rd. Steve Israel will be my guy, which I'm happy about (but my boss isn't, screw him! :P)
Looks like Pete has yet another no-name Dem to run against, which is a shame because his new district went about as strongly for Obama (51-47) as his old one did for McCain (52-47), so a frontline candidate would have had an excellent chance of unseating him before he became the default no-change option for the half of the new NY-02 he has never represented (especially as he's really not used to running against top-tier opponents)
Steve. I've thought he was an insane asshole since I knew who he was, and now due to redistricting, he's favored to be my elected rep. He's going against Christie Vilsack (Ag Secy and fmr. IA Gov Tom's wife). He's actually going to DEBATE her, which he's never deigned to do in the past, because he's scared of his new district, with all the disgusting liberals and more (for IA) subhuman darkies (bird dogs, whatever). I hope she wins, but I'm not getting my hopes up.
Are the sleeping dogs brought across the border by coyotes?
Is "bird dog" republican code for "Man on Dog"?
Steve King – the Paul Lynde of the Republican Party.
So he's gay too, also?
(Center square for the win!)
I always loved that man's laugh. Paul Lynde…I love him. And Charles Nelson Reilly too. Hmmmmm. A trend is forming here.
Being a self-parody isn't the same as being intentionally funny.
Well, that is how we got Speedy Gonzales, isn't it? His cousin, "Slowpoke Rodriguez" didn't fare too well as I recall.
Sadly, Slowpoke took too much time getting across the boarder, and died of dehydration in the desert.
Starved his head off, apparently. Ask Lizard Face Brewer…
When he's talking about vigor and stuff…he's talking about sex right? He's going to test each immigrant himself, right?
On a leash, no less.
He's going to have to fend off Sheriff Babeu for first dibs on some of them.
No immigrants sleeping in the corner? I think that is code for siesta and sombreros.
So, those who can elude border patrols and make it through the border from Mexico are the frisky ones?
"I like my dogs young and frisky— like my boy scouts."
you're alive!
pants, pants, pants. Long time no see. Hope you are doing well.
The return of the Prodigal Snark.
Before he left, Steve King sniffed a few asses and then went outside and ate his own poo.
Attention world: America wants your spazoids, your psychos, your hyperactive freakazoids. Load 'em all on meth and send them over. Can't sit still? Can't focus? Come to America. And run for congress.
Has he talked to his Bishop about friskiness and dog sex?
Is he still cruising Sioux City in that red Plymouth trying to pick up "frisky" immigrants?
I'm just hoping that Rep. King takes this to its logical conclusion. If we control the immigrants, by having them sold to "masters" who will look over the work and breeding, we would have plenty of laborers for our cotton fields and any laziness could be bred out, or at least beaten out of these immigrants by their masters.
This is consistent with the Founders' original intentions for this country, and also with modern Conservative thought.
Steve King didn't mean to compare immigrants to dogs. He likes dogs.
Colombian Hookers, you want a vigorous one, not one that just lays there……..at least that is what my friend who used to work for the Secret Service told me.
You also want to squeeze his balls and check that messicans teeth too also.
That sounds suspiciously like foreplay…
"You stay with me. You're the pick of the litter."
This is such a universal truth. Dogs, women, immigrants, slaves. They're all the same to Steve.
I gotta say, I am dying to go to Iowa. Gay marriage, yes, Steve King, yeah sure him too. These people must get along with ANYbody.
AND I thought Ameica was the best, but now we're the best because we came from other places TO here? We were the strong who survived? Is he being Darwinian on my ass and does he know it?
He's being fucktardian on your ass. What a maroon. Immigration is like dog-breeding, you pick the immigrants with the characteristics you want to breed. Oh, no, thats not eugenics or anything! I love the idea of "Donor civilizations," makes me wonder when we start harvesting them for their organs.
Holy hell I recognize that – that's slave talk. Oh man my heart just seized up. I don't like that shit none at all.
You got to get yourself to the Sodom and Gomorrah of Amurrica, the evil east and west coasts, where liberals and eeleets and homos run around wild and free and there is mass transit and theaters and all manner of socialisms (and higher wages, less obesity, higher levels of literacy, lower crime and teen pregnancy rates, etc. etc. etc.). Iowa? For fucks sake, might as well go to Tejas.
I do go to Texas, all the fucking time. And it DOES look like Iowa, all across that shit, corn fields, everywhere. BUT no gay marriage so shut up they suck. I've been to San Francisco. WHY do all the best places have to be so cold? I'm going to the Keys, I hear that's nice.
Stick with what works: Stay home and wash your car. I don't know if you noticed, but we were still talking about that yesterday. And it wasn't even me who brought it up. I think you made an, uh, impression.
This is a thing I did not know! That is most excellent. I have a big mouth, but I do like to stick my butt out, I can't help it.
"WHY do all the best places have to be so cold?"
When I lived in Ann Arbor, I figured out that the political climate of any given place is in directly inverse ratio to the meteorological climate. Good politics = bad weather.
Consider Sweden. Juxtapose Rwanda.
Some would say, that climate impacts culture. A 365 growing cycle, means less need to plan ahead for the hardship of winter, less need to cooperate to meet the lean season, warmth means less time dealing with survival, more time for fighting. Seriously, equatorial plenty produces population increase results in constant war over resources. Polynesians, for example. Fight all the time.
I'm half Texan on my mother's side. Its the great shame of the family.
If you're coming to Texas, come to Austin. Lowest percentage of racist f*cksticks in the Great State, actual scenery and great beer, too. And while you're here, could you wash my car?
See?
My kid goes to camp in the Lone Star State so I get to come to Austin every year! LOOOOOVE IT. And of course, next time I come I'll pack my cutoffs and turtle wax.
Yeah, the Hill Country is the exception that proves the rule. The state is big enough to have some diversity of landscape; the whole state does not look like the first scene in "The Last Picture Show."
And Austin also has the most provincial hipsters you will ever meet. All they do is brag on how great Austin is for hours and hours until you just wish Austin would get swallowed up by a huge sinkhole and take their shitty-ass music scene with it. And Steiner Bock, too.
SF in the summer is fucking miserable! I'm writing this while in my office with a scarf and sweater on. I had a heating blanket over me this morning but just turned that off.
But our politics be good!
I'm telling you, I loved it, I have never felt so "in my place" – but my ass (actually my face, the rest of me was wrapped up tight!) has NEVER experienced anything like the wind coming off the Bay. I was there in June a million years ago and GOOD LORD. I always wanted to go to Candlestick Park just to hang out with all the people I saw wearing bomber jackets in July on tv. I am half naked all the time, but our politics blow monkey dicks on good days. (but my actual mayor is a hot young Dem, so I have hope!)
Years ago I lived in Fremont, and one hot summer day we decided to go to the beach at Half Moon Bay. We were wearing sweatshirts and huddling under a dune to try to stay out of the wind.
Oh please. You sound like a Londoner (or a Portlander), poormouthing the place to keep people away. I lived in Marin and San Jo for forty years, and yeah, you always take a sweater (or a ski jacket if you're going to Candlestick), but half the time (okay, a third) you don't need it.
And the spring and fall are gorgeous. Politics, also, too.
K9?
K-Y
So you whistle for your dogs by talking about which dogs will come when you whistle?!! I see what you did there Stevie. Very clever.
"Donor civilizations"? Can I get a list of those? I've got some guesses (Mexico, Guatemala, most of Western Africa prior to 1863…) but I'd like to be sure we're both talking about the same thing here.
I think you've got this wrong: there's type B civlizations, and type A and O and even AB. And then there's minorities.
That phrase would seem a tad disparaging to those other civilizations.
"I know that your country is centuries older than ours and all, but we just want your liver, so fork it over."
"But I'm still using it!"
But who's going to express the dog's anal gland? It's really annoying when they start dragging their ass on the carpet.
King is more a local kind of anal guy anyway.
Or so I'm told.
AOTK
Just tell the dog's anal gland "express yourself". We don't want no anal glands sleeping in the corner.
Steve King. Enuf said.
I'm going to Iowa over the 4th of July. Only because I have to; to be kind to someone. I'm fucking dreading it.
"I'm going to Iowa… to be kind to someone."
Exhibit A for "The Martyr Syndrome."
Davenport? I have to get there sometime in the next 2 years- after the election though
Steve King has his biggest challenger to date in one Christie Vilsack (that's right, Tom's wife). Even if you can't vote in the election you can do your part by donating to Christie's candidacy. Please, for the sake of our great state, help restore Iowa to sane-land by donating to Christie. If for no other reason than to see the wingnuts in west Iowa spontaneously combust.
Our country…'tis an embarrassment.
Yes, but. Your new wonk-name puts a grin on my, uh, skull!
It's good to be King (Steve) but not so much if you're a black King (Rodney).
Wow, just like that Emma Lazarus poem!
Let me expand, Mr. King, he does not seem to agree that the Statue of Liberty welcomes the tired, the poor, the wretched refuse, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Perhaps the inscription should be changed to "we welcome your frisky, your strong, your good good breeding stock, so we can breed a nation of ubermenschen."
You know who else wanted to keep the pick of the litter and do away with the imperfect?
Cruella Deville?
Vince Lombardi?
My local homeless guy?
Wait. You have your own personal homeless guy? We have to share the one on our streetcorner.
Well, I pay extra for the privilege.
Tyson's suppliers?
Jennifer Rubin?
Steve King's constituents certainly didn't get the pick of the litter.
Define "litter" here
I'm still mystified by the wingnut stereotype that all immigrants [read: Hispanics] are lazy.
Is it the guy mowing and mulching the lawns in 100-degree heat? The guy who spends eight hours a day washing stacks of dishes? The guy who works 12-hour shifts hanging drywall or painting your house?
I'd love to hear more examples of these "lazy" folk.
"Lazy" = brown
Bright side: He's not complaining about that vigor in the White House.
Vegro?
Vlah
Vigaboo?
All I can say is…
George Clinton – Atomic Dog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuyS9M8T03A
George Clinton should be given National Monument status.
Hopefully all these bird dogs will bring real light bulbs with them
If he knew the life my two dogs lived, he be horrified. The sleep all day. Get ton's of love. Just as much food. And, they have a "daddy" that pays their way.
I think, if I can be reincarnated, I want to come back as one of my dogs.
Yeah, my dogs are the ultimate welfare queens. Lay around the yard all day, go bark at the occasional passerby/schoolbus/garbage truck, free chow, free medical, no ambition. The only difference between them and having children is that about the time a kid would be wanting a car and a $150K college education, they die of old age.
BTF, the moment we bonded, I began the lament about their lifespan. I guess it is best as we wouldn't want them to outlive us.
On the other hand, I had a horse that lived 35 years. One tends to get very attached to a horse that lives 35 years.
We've got one in that advanced stage and it is an odd kind of heartbreak. Our pitty's in hoomin year #13. He is a pampered, always-indoor ex-show dog. (He early on outgrew his confirmation and that's how we got him.) It is so hard not to get sad every time I look at him; knowing we are close and dreading it. They are such a stoic breed that they don't show their pain much. So the end is often a fall-off-the-cliff thing.
There's an urn on my wife's dresser in which resides the ashes of the last precious pampered pitty we had. Within a year there will surely be two.
Okay, you are going to make me cry, at work. And not like the times before (when I get my check). I feel you pain. This is where I pray there really is an afterlife so I can go visit them all one day.
And, they have a "daddy" that pays their way.
I tried that with a Mexican and got a rash for my troubles. Also, had to change my credit cards
“You want a good bird dog? You want one that’s going to be aggressive? Pick the one that’s the friskiest … not the one that’s over there sleeping in the corner.”
So, if we're deciding who to let into the country, we should pick the people who are fighting and/or fucking and/or hitting other people over the head and taking their money, because we want our immigrants to be aggressive, rather than docile and easily controlled?
Ruh roh.
Reve Ring's a ruckin' roron.
Wow, Santorum was right! You let homos get married and next thing you know it's all man-on-dog.
Would the next step be same sex dog marriage? Because, and it might be just a generational thing, I am against that.
In the words of Lou Reed, "Give me your tired, your poor, and I'll piss on them, thats what the statue of Bigotry says." Out on the dirty boulevard.
My favorite thing Lou Reed ever said was
Candy came from out on the island,
In the backroom she was everybodys darling,
But she never lost her head
Even when she was given head – she said
Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side.
Wouldn't that make the people who repeatedly try crossing the border at night, in the middle of the desert, without water or food, covering hundreds of miles on foot, the "friskiest" candidates for citizenship?
Republicans in Pocahontas, Iowa.
Pocahontas, Iowa.
POCAHONTAS FUCKING IOWA?
Peter King's speeches sound so beautiful in the original German.
Now you must remind me who said that first, I know the remark, was "I liked it better in the original german." Was it something someone said about a Nixon speech?
Molly Ivins, about Pat Buchanan's speech at the 1992 Republican convention. When he talked about there being a cultural war in the US.
Yeah, Molly was my source. It's such a beautiful quote that I've never stopped finding excuses to use it.
Want a stubborn dog that's hard to train?
Want a dog that has its own agenda?
Want a dog that's aggressive (really?!)?
Want a dog you can tie to the roof of your car?
Steve "Dog Whisperer" King has all the answers.
I'd make a crack about King liking it doggy style, but I'd have to pour a gallon or two of bleach into my ear canal just to try and get the mental image out of my head …
That dog don't hunt.
Fuck Steve King. That's all there really is to say on the matter.
That dadgum bird dog Eduardo Saverin was frisky. Now he's taking his "vigor from the planet" and moving to Singapore.
Steve King's frontal lobe has been over there sleeping in the corner for years.
Steve could use a grammar lesson from K-Fed after that last statement, BTW. The God of Engrish est mad 'tet 'em.
Mouth poop. You mean he brushes his teeth with dog shit?
Steve "Vim" King
Wow, Lazy Mexicans! So original! Where does Steve King get such fresh material?
He came up with this gem while screwing in an incandescent bulb for the fifth time this year.
Really? I'd have assumed he got it straight from the horse's
mouth.I like the "donor civilizations" line. Like the rest of the world is just spare parts for the good old USE Esay.
The stupid arrogance of that line is only one of the reasons why I would like to repeatedly punch Steve King in the neck.
I smell someone campaigning for the Secy of State position in the Romney admin.
Then close whatever the fuck doors Rupert Murdoch and Eduardo Saverin came in through. Or is "hard-working" a dog-whistle for "has a fat wallet?"
Add John Derbyshire, Mark Steyn, Michelle Malkin, David Frum, David Brooks and Peter Brimelow to that list too.
When you think about it King's dog analogy explains a lot about Congress. You look at things that dogs regularly do, humping your leg, sniffing your crotch, sniffing each others asses, licking their balls, pissing on things to mark their territory and snarfing up Kitty Roca from the cat box and then you look at Congress and, well, you get the picture.
What the fuck is wrong with people that they want an asshole like this representing them in Washington, D.C.? I wouldn't trust that fuckstick to take out my garbage, much less look after the best interests of me and my family.
Time for some Everly Brothers.
Hey, bird dog get away from my quail
Hey, bird dog you're on the wrong trail
Bird dog you better leave my lovey-dove alone
Hey, bird dog get away from my chick
Hey, bird dog you better get away quick
Bird dog you better find a chicken little of your own
That's about right.
Guys like him should be kept separate from the normal House members. Steve King is the living argument for a congressional short bus.
The fact that Steve King is certifiable should not diminish his status as a truly world-class idiot.
Nailed it!
Check out the post yest FakaktaS. on Mr. Obama's visit to Joplin and johnnyzhivago's comment/replies and you will be up to speed. And, since we are on the topic, any chance you could wear some heels with those cutoffs???
Uh, BRB. But seriously, let me know when you're coming to ATX, and maybe we can arrange a mini Wonkette get-together at a brewpub or something.
I like the area near I-10 when you first get into texas, at least years ago, it was all refinery flares, at night, well, it looked like hell.
That's where my kid goes, Kerrville is very lovely. And hell, Ft Worth is greeen with all the imported trees. But you gotta admit, there's a lot of corn in some places, no?
I have the sweetest pair of 6" red pumps – roll tide and all that. Not a problem.
Another example: Me and wifey that time the A/C went out. She's a ex now so the war is over.
I am now going to create additional IntenseDebate profiles just so I can give that the multiple upfists it deserves. God, you are killing us here…
You should also review the car wash scene in Cool Hand Luke, just so you have the proper "soap on, soap off" form.
Hipsters I can live without. And Steiner Bock? You're drinkin' the wrong stuff-I'm talkin' Real Ale Brewery in Blanco, or Live Oak here in ATX.
You can tell how long someone has lived in Austin by them telling you how much cooler things were 'X years ago'. As in "Wow, so many live bands each night in Austin." "Oh, you should have been here 15 years ago. I saw blah-blah-blah at the Hole in the Wall before they got popular.
Thats when you want to kill yourself, just end it all so you don't have to hear it. Skip it, watch Slackers, the beer travels.
Oh, so it's like Seattle, but without trees, mountains and water.
Definitely! Love it – I will be around in the middle of June, so WATCH OUT!
I go with 3/4, in the summer.
Candlestick wasn't too bad when one is in the sun. As the sun sets, though – stand the fuck by.
As an aside, as a man who appreciates a nice ass on the fairer sex, SF is great! I think it is from walking up and down all the hills or something, but as a group, the ladies of SF have some fine buns.
Mid June? Why hell, Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers (formerly Refreshments) are playing at Antone's on the 15th, and at Gruene Hall on the 16th. If I recall correctly we had a discussion on this band? I may be at the Antone's show, will definitely be at the Gruene show. Look for the guy in the New England Patriots jersey.
Yes, you are correct, as this all started because I compared myself to the lady in that exact movie, I was NOT actually washing a car. I was painting some kitchen cabinets, like a slut. It was funny, but that carwash scene is one of my all time favorites ever ever ever – I think it helped me decide what kind of girl I wanted to be. A hot, slutty, powerful one.
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD YES!!! I am flying in on the 16th. Ho-ly holy. I have to see if this is a thing I can make happen. OH MY GOD.
The Gruene Hall show will be the better one to attend anyway, google the venue, it's classic. Gruene is in New Braunfels, about one hour south on Interstate 35 from the Austin airport. Don't know what time your flight arrives, but they generally don't hit the stage till 930 or 10, so you should have plenty of time to make it. See you there!
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