what is 'legal'?

Gallup: Record High Number Of Pro-Life Americans Want To Kill Your Children

Wonkette's babyFun news for chart nerds! Gallup has once again released its annual poll illustrating how much Americans hate abortion by saying it should be legal in all or certain cases. That’s right, “pro-choicers” are at a “record low” of only 41 percent of respondents who want to kill children. Except for the 77 percent of respondents who think abortion should be legal! Fuck man, math is hard.

Shine on you crazy diamonds!

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[Gallup]

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About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

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178 comments

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Wasn't the Wonkette baby raised by wolves? Of course, that doesn't address your question.

  1. V572 Is this him?

    "Pro-Life" is such a bullshit term. Why do all the media which refuse to call waterboarding "torture" sign on to this euphemism for reproductive totalitarianism?

    Or if that's too many syllables, "Anti-Choice." Or "Anti-Women." Or "Anti-Freedom."

    1. Mumbly_Libel

      I have a friend who insists on using pejorative terms for both sides of any contentious political debate, so abortion becomes a debate between pro-death and pro-slavery camps.

      1. tessiee

        I agree — but also, who isn't "pro choice"?
        Ask one of the forced birthers if they think the government should also tell you when you HAVE TO have an abortion — you know, like they do in those commie countries like China — and they'd be horrified, and rightly so. Also, the expression on their face will have enough surprise in it that it's clear that such an idea has never before occurred to them. They don't want the government forcing them to do anything *they* don't want to do, either.

    2. tessiee

      'the media which refuse to call waterboarding "torture""

      In one of those many things that I picked up somewhere, and don't remember where, somebody's co-worker was anticipating a vacation to ?? Cancun or somewhere, "Nice. Lie on the beach, get some sun, maybe try a little… *mimes as if surfing* waterboarding while you're there, huh?"

    3. finallyhappy

      It is bullshit because these liars don't care about your baby once it is born- especially if you are minority, poor or the baby has health problems. Now maybe if it is a white blond haired baby-you might get some help in putting it up for adoption(but not to gay people)

    4. James Michael Curley

      Buckley in his usual, now dead, brazen pretense did an article in the late 70's about how clever the term was. It got the high ground of the discourse so that any opposition to those seeking to bar all abortions were 'anti-life'. Simplistic, yet logistically sound argument.

  2. PuckStopsHere

    Are you in favor of not letting insurance companies deny you coverage due to a pre-existing condition? Yes.

    Are you in favor of permitting your children to remain on your health care plan until they are 26? Yes.

    Are you in favor of Obamacare? Hell, no! Get the gubbmits hands off my Medicare!

  3. actor212

    It's not impossible to be "pro-life" but not give a rat's ass if someone else has an abortion.

    After all, I'm not gay¹ but I support gay marriage

    .
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    ¹#notintendedasafactualstatement,necessarilyQUITJUDGINGME

    1. Redgyal

      But it is seemingly impossible to understand that if you ban it for everyone, you cease to have that dichotomy.

      1. tessiee

        Kang and Kodos: Abortions for all!
        Crowd: BOOOOO!
        Kang and Kodos: Very well, abortions for nobody!
        Crowd: BOOOOO!!
        Kang and Kodos: Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!
        Crowd: YAAAYYY!!

        It was a very funny and clever bit of dialogue, but unusually for the Simpsons, it was a near miss — since the forced birthers would have booed the last sentence, too. They can't just make the choice that *they* want and leave it at that, they have to try to take the choice away from everyone else.

    2. PsycWench

      Indeed. As many regulars may have heard many times before: I have a kid with Down syndrome and I knew it before he was born. I chose to have him. I WILL NOT force another woman to do what I chose to do. I have the hardest time getting people to understand that.

      1. boobookitteh

        I haven't seen a wire hanger in years. Weren't they all outlawed under the Crawford Act?

    1. James Michael Curley

      Largest coat hanger manufacturer in the world used to be in Hackensack, NJ. Was a client. I blame Cristie Todd Whitman for the jobs being shipped off to china.

  4. prommie

    Now you know that human babies are actually born way to early, on account of their huge skulls would kill the moms if they developed much longer. But thats why baby horses, for example, basically "hit the ground running," while human babies are fucking helpless, they really should be allowed to ripen for a few more months. So what I am saying is that humans are kinda like kangaroos, and even outside the body, babies are still in a gestational stage. Therefore, I am in favor of post-birth abortions, but only up to a point.

      1. tessiee

        ??
        In the babies or the mothers?
        Also, possible stupid question from a childfree person here, but I thought the point of caesarians in the first place was for babbies that were so big that they were having difficulty being born the regular way.

        1. MosesInvests

          Well, that and breech deliveries (feet first-baby simply cannot come out of the vajayjay any way except head first).

        2. actor212

          The study I read today is that obese mothers tend to raise obese kids and there's a correlation with c-sections and obesity.

        3. James Michael Curley

          "No man born of woman shall harm Macbeth."
          I have the notorious Aetna as a health insurance provider. They found it necessary to issue a 'policy information' letter a few years ago which stated they would not pay for liposuction as a procedure performed with c-sections. I can not believe somebody, mothers and doctors, actually considered this idea valid and medically safe.

    1. Designer_Rants

      I seem to remember 'The Neckbeard" Douthat trotting out this very same "math" during the whole Komen Implosion. The commenters slaughtered his "argument", but he still has some jerb with NYT making insane money for writing insane things.

    1. Doktor StrangeZoom

      Zillionaires' children who are largely free from the Death Tax would like to thank Frank Luntz at this point in time.

  5. edgydrifter

    Abortion is always immoral and wrong… unless, you know, some boy in a hoodie tarnishes my precious angel. Let's be reasonable.

  6. Oblios_Cap

    I like people whose well thought out philosophy aloows them to be both anti-abortion and pro-death penalty. Because, life is sacred!

    1. Chichikovovich

      Yep. As they'll happily remind you, there's an inalienable right to life, just like it says there in the Declaration of Inderpendernce.

    2. Mumbly_Libel

      Not to mention pro-torture and pro-blowing people up because the government secretly decided they were guilty without trial or maybe they just happened to be that guy's next-door neighbors or children.

  7. prommie

    So many polls wind up measuring what Wittgenstein called "nonsense." Which is just so odd to me. You cannot make sense of nonsense.

    1. SheriffRoscoe

      Like farting in elevators. I'm totally against it! Unless, the car is empty, and I'm the one that needs to let one go.

    2. JustPixelz

      Repubicans love life when it's in the womb, but after that child takes a breath they're all "you're on your own kid".

  8. Callyson

    It is really time for supporters of the pro – choice movement to start pounding away at the utter immorality of the so – called pro – lifers. From their lack of concern about the babies once they are actually born, to their willingness to support invasive government measures every step along the way of a woman's pregnancy, to the presence of bombers and terrorists in their midst, it is high fucking time they were called on their lack of humanity. Contrary to the impression that the mushy middle seems to have, the anti abortion crowd does *not* have the moral high ground…and it is high time to make that crystal clear…

    1. Boojum

      I think we need to refuse to cede the high ground on abortion. The moral choice is not to have a child who is unwanted or for whom you cannot adequately provide. Full stop.

    2. actor212

      We should call ourselves "pro-family" and point out that it's government intrusion into the most sensitive and private decision parents can make

      1. tessiee

        Nice idea, but the other side has already co-opted the word "family".
        Ever wonder how single mothers, i.e., mothers and children, can possibly be "anti-family"? Simple; they've redefined "family" to mean "father".

    3. tessiee

      Let's not leave out the really ugly strain of sex-loathing and misogyny in the anti-choice movement.
      Remember that troll who posted here complaining about stupid people pooping babies left and right that they couldn't care for?
      I asked him exactly how much he'd donated to Planned Parenthood and NARAL, and his answer was something like, "Exactly Zero. Let them pay for their own fun".

  9. nounverb911

    But being an underage, un-married mother can get you a reality show on the sno-billy grifter channel.

  10. Chichikovovich

    I'm not sure how much we can judge from this, since I suspect that the "certain circumstances" that at least 5% of the respondents had in mind was "If performing an abortion were the only way to get information from a terrorist about a ticking time bomb…."

    1. not that Radio

      I am trying to imaging a flow chart that would lead to such a situation…at the very least, it is not simply-connected.

          1. Chichikovovich

            Yep, named after Eric Cantor. 'Cause it has uncountably many points, which are collectively meagre (as far as what's real) and with no measurable content.

    2. prommie

      Don't be so down, it could also mean "until the end of the second trimester." Even I would have a problem with an elective abortion of a healthy fetus at 9 months, ya know?

      1. SayItWithWookies

        Really — it seems senseless to abort a baby at that age, right when it's on the cusp of being able to be tried as an adult.

    3. OldWhiteLies

      Yes – as if the only two options were ever torture, or not torture, hmmm.

      (This snark free comment brought to you by Biz.)

  11. hagajim

    I wonder what the numbers would be if Gallup asked Americans if it's any damn business of the government to snoop in their personal lives, period. I'm certainly not pro-life in the sense that the wingnuts are, and I do believe that a woman should be able to choose what to do with her ownself and her cookie, but I also think abortion is the worst possible way to handle birf control….nuff said.

    1. tessiee

      "I do believe that a woman should be able to choose what to do with her ownself and her cookie"

      "Cookie"?
      Really, you call it a cookie?
      What a silly, immature, childish term.
      *sniffs in disdain*
      Everyone knows it's a muffin.

    1. prommie

      Nah, you got it all wrong, its the United States of Geniuses, you know, that kind of genius, when you can believe 2 things at the same time that are diametrically opposed.

      1. OldWhiteLies

        Weejee, who let you have that framing hammer?

        I thought we agreed you were only to use ball-peen – the dents are easier to fix.

  12. SayItWithWookies

    It's just like at the races, when I was trying to look at the horses' stats to see how well they ran on dirt tracks of a length similar to that race, when it was dry, and how healthy they were. And my friend picked the one with the cute name.

  13. ManchuCandidate

    It's basically an amplification of the NC poll on Gay Marriage. If people understood (haha) then I'll bet pro-life drops.

    Unless you've got a death wish, everyone's pro-life.

    Perhaps they should rejig the question so that it is closer to the truth:
    "Are you pro-choice or anti-woman asshole control freak who can't get over the fact that women make decisions about anything including their bodies without a man telling her what to do by using religion to crush them?"

    1. tessiee

      Shorter: "Do you feel that women should be able to have sex without it ruining her life?"

  14. Chow Yun Flat

    Asking poll questions like these to the Amerikkkan public is like trying to teach your dog to speak English. It never makes sense to the dog and the result is gibberish.

      1. Chow Yun Flat

        If only Seamus had learned to drive he could have ridden around with Mitt strapped to the roof of his car and felt like he was doing old Mittens a favor.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      It's the view of the dumpster behind the Planned Parenthood clinic in Blade Runner.

  15. proudgrampa

    I don't know what the big deal is. We already have state-sanctioned retroactive abortions. A lot of those in Texas..

  16. tessiee

    It doesn't matter whether 99.9% of all Americans think abortion should be legal; companies need cheap labor, the military needs cannon fodder, and religious cranks who nobody would have sex with in the first place are useful idiots; so we'll be fighting this battle 50 years from now, 100 years from now, 200 years from now…

    1. JustPixelz

      Abortion is illegal in Saudi Arabia and other Sharia Law nations. A woman getting an abortion is probably stoned to death. So they're pro-life! Just like the Repubicans.

      1. tessiee

        I'm borrowing/stealing here, but what the right really wants in this country is "honor killing", just in slow motion.

  17. mrpuma2u

    STOOPID SOSHULIS NUMBERZ! Most people who are any good at math are KOMMY LIEBURAL UHMERKA haters. So you should get your statistics from someone who loves America, not someone who's calculations are accurate, or based on facts.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Honestly, I thought it was a photo of 3 old snakes crossing a cobblestone street.

      Edit: or a vagina.

  18. Mumbletypeg

    I'm all for unlimited, legalized means of extinguishing these poorly devised surveys that muddy folks' perceptions with "pro-life", "pro-choice", slidey-scale-points-of-view optional but not presumptive — we're overpopulated with such misconceived analyses of human opinion as it is; we'd be better off had they never been brought into the world. Abort them all! (well, except if endangering the life of the mudderer).

  19. Spurning Beer

    This is like the poll results from a year ago or so finding that, say, 48 percent favored allowing gay people to get married, and 57 percent in favor of allowing gay and lesbian people to marry.

  20. Jus_Wonderin

    Isn't the simple answer, if God didn't want us to have abortions, he would not have given us abortions.

  21. CommieLibunatic

    So… lemme get this straight. Pro-Life/Forced Birth is on the rise, but more people are okay with abortion?

    According to this latest chart, my brain is full with an all-time record level of fuck.

  22. mavenmaven

    The Fox news statistics department does not understand what the problem here is.

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      Unless they are anchor babies. Which is a scary mental image, come to think of it.

  23. MadBrahms

    So 52% reject the precious yet broken gifts from god that are rape-babies, but think other abortions are wrong, because Actions Have Consequences? Oh, sorry, when I say it that way it almost sounds like it's less about "life" than it is about a twisted and vindictive cult of personal responsibility.

  24. Steverino247

    And as long as there's a need to raise funds to keep up the political fight there will never be any resolution to this.

    Dear Friend,

    A recent poll shows the number of pro-(insert your view) Americans is increasing/decreasing (circle one)! We need your financial help to save the unborn/protect a woman's right to choose (circle one).

    (Almost) Full disclosure: I've escorted woman through gauntlets at clinics and helped put some Operation Rescue fuckers in jail (No disclosure here, sorry). However, being a past candidate for Federal office showed me why things are as they are–money. The USSC was right: Money is a form of speech in this country and has been for years. What is wrong is that this is so. Morally wrong, but political reality.

    1. CleverSobriquet

      Back to the Dylan reference (written in 1964)

      Old lady judges watch people in pairs
      Limited in sex, they dare
      To push fake morals, insult and stare
      While money doesn’t talk, it swears
      Obscenity, who really cares
      Propaganda, all is phony

  25. DocChaos

    20% of Americans believe a zygote is the same thing as a fully formed human being, 25% believe that a fully formed fetus is basically just a tissue mass until the moment of live birth, and most of the remaining majority fall somewhere in between, or are perhaps just unsure of when to transition from woman-hater to baby-killer.

  26. OldWhiteLies

    Does that pic of the Wonkette baby remind anybody else of the creepy mix-n-match shit that hides underneath the bad boy's workbench in the original Toy Story movie?

  27. StealthMuslin

    I'd be a lot more pro-life if my kids would just shut up for one damn minute!

  28. Maman

    Sounds like my mom. She is against all abortion but in the case of rape and incest, the doctor just goes ahead a performs a D&C.

    1. tessiee

      Thanks for the link.
      Skimming it quickly, I noticed a lot of anecdotes about religious cranks, predictably.
      Aside from the obvious point that most religions are anti-sex and anti-woman, I wonder if religion also has plenty to answer for in these women's… I don't know exactly what to call it… lack of accountability? lack of a sense of agency?
      Somewhere before my 14th birthday, I realized I was an atheist, and somewhere around my 16th birthday, I started buying rubbers at the drugstore so I would be prepared. OK, rubbers sometimes break, and other methods of birth control sometimes fail, but I'm not sure what to make of these women who show up at the clinic all wide-eyed, saying, "I have no idea how this big bump got on my tummy".

  29. BaldarTFlagass

    Good thing I don't have any children (at least none that I've ever been informed of) for these stupid fuckers to kill.

  30. natoslug

    You're going to need a lot more abortions, with the way prolife and prochoice are fucking in that first graph. Legalunderany and illegalinall should be ashamed of themselves, not inviting legalundercertain to join in the second graph. I find it much easier to masturbate to the first, thanks.

  31. George Skullfry

    I'm not a pollster, but I've looked at enough graphs and statistical experiment analyses during my life to have some trouble taking the apparent swings in that top graph seriously.

    Popular opinion about abortion is not something that one would expect to fluctuate much on a year-to-year basis (note the relative stability of the bottom graph). A shift as large as that from 2011 to 2012 suggests some problem with Gallup's methodology or sample selection.

  32. torera

    Nice comments but it's really simple: if you say you're pro-choice, you're apt to get assassinated. So we got out of the habit.

  33. tessiee

    "and their beliefs are rooted in religion, which apparently makes any atrocity excusable"

    ftfy

  34. CleverSobriquet

    I think its time to start plastering the lyrics to that entire song over every loose piece of media we can find (although I probably could skip the part about the naked president).

    It's Alright Ma,

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